/lit/ - Literature

>>21673720
Can't read and can't cum, i must study for an over-priced certification and i searching for a job and an house
Ok, but not great

Been thinking about killing myself. Theres no future for me.

>>21673720
I have a high pain tolerance and any pain I do have goes away alarmingly fast (got 2nd degree burns on my hand today, and the pain stopped after 2 hours) EXCEPT a sore throat. I'm absolutely miserable and I hate sore throats more than everything. Nothing is helping, not throat lozenges, not pain medication- I try not to swallow, but that just makes it hurt worse when I do. Tell me how to get rid of sore throat.

Is your career safe from AI, /lit/?

>>21673720
i want my life to be over

do i hurt people on my way out or just take myself out?

Gf says im not emotionally supportive
I dont fucking know what to do even
Fuck this stupid shit

>>21673739
look up the best ways to have the best orgasm you can through drugs before you go.

>>21673754
Don't hurt other people on your way out. Unless they're evil lmao. Nah, seriously. If you're blindly thinking about hurting people then you probably do not have the capacity to discern if someone needs to be "taken out."

>>21673763
they're bad people. i don't know about evil. guess i'm just tired of people trashing my life and getting rewarded for it. thinking i should give them another reward.

>>21673740
salt water gargle.
as per the first link i found, ½ tsp of salt and 8 oz of warm water.

you can also just eyeball it.

>>21673770
Don't hurt yourself either, anon. As for the people that are trashing you, I would say don't do it. A lot of people have harmed me, and I'll admit that I've at times felt like committing homicide (maybe in a more serious way than you have, I'll tell you that much. But that was long ago). The thing you have to realize is that even people that hurt you don't really deserve to be hurt back. In many cases, they believe that you are in the wrong, or perhaps, what you perceive as someone trashing your life is their attempt to save their own, or even yours.

Do you think you are stable right now, or do you think that you may do something you aren't sure of?

>>21673758
I want a forum for only incels, but the main incel for um is sfull of reatards. what does that tell me.
it tells me all the smart infers roped or monkmaxxed

>>21673788
i don't intend to kill them. i want to maim them. i wake up every day regretting it. i want them to wake up every day regretting it too. i want them to limp, their hands to be feeble, and their jaw to be dysfunctional. i want them to hurt with every step. i want them to choke on their words. i want them to be too feeble to pick up a pen. what would killing them accomplish? i want them to hurt for a long, long time.

Any books you would advise your younger self to read? I think I should've gotten more into the history of art when I was in adolescence, it might not have been fruitful but I would've enjoyed it back then.

The upcoming totalizing singularity has me scared

I hate lust so much. Leave me the FUCK alone and quit trying to tempt me.

>>21673660
>You only get one life and it’s measured in moments, dude. Moments, literally time. Not money. Not sex. Not friends. Time. You’ve got to pick what is you want to do, literally spend your time on, and do it.
There's only so much one can do right now. If it were me I'd take a walk innawoods every day. But if you want to feed yourself you need a job and getting a job means just wasting all my time juts to be alive.
I'll actually think about becoming a mechanic. It doesn't sound so bad.

If 0 is nothing, then why does a 1 and a 0 after mean ten things?

>>21673849
Isn't it just the decimal system in that the one afterwards means one unit of ten and the 0 signifying no units of one?

>>21673792
The fuck does that have to do with my post

>>21673815
What did they do to you?

>>21673856
He wants a forum for people without GFs (like you). Your post triggered him.

>>21673857
>>21673874
Wrong person

>>21673869
they fucked with my career while my dad was in palliative career, and obscured what they had done. they'd already made the job miserable, but they decided to double down and fuck me long term too. so now maybe i fuck them long term.

i apparently deserve my life being trash. so what's gonna change? i can keep doing what's 'right' and have a trash life, or i can do what is wrong, and have a trash life. makes no odds.

>>21673856
I think you mean 0 afterwards because Arabic numerals are read left to read. The question is still raised. Why does a 0 represent both nothing and tens or hundreds, etc.? 10 is one ten, not one and no unit of one, 100 is one hundred, but 0 is not ten or one.

>>21673754
You hurt people with the shine from your smile and take yourself out to dinner.

Treat yourself even if you think you don't deserve it

>>21673758
Ask what she means by that but don't do it in an argumentative way. Like after you've both had time to calm down, ask how you could be more supportive

>>21673892
What sorts of specific actions did they take against you? It sounds like they did some bad things.

>>21673892
This is sounding increasingly delusional

>>21673898
Yeah sorry, I was thinking of going from the smaller to larger. I still can't understand your point, the zero represents no unit of one. 10 is one ten and no one, 100 is one hundred and no unit of ten or one, etc.

>>21673761
I dont know anyone, so no drugs.

>I'm Gigachad

>>21673910
i'm a teacher. i'd worked for the school before. i went back to work there. as a teacher, you have a 2 year induction period.

while i was there, management:
- increased workload dramatically, think an hour or more every single day
- removed most of our powers to sanction students (this was to reduce escalations in behaviour, and thus reduce suspension rates)
- doubled meetings
- bullying, a lot of it; the principal had a 'chat' with me, where she asked for almost every sentence i spoke 'do you know what that means?'; i eventually challenged and asked her to stop being rude, she told me to deal with it because she's my boss
- refused to support to behaviour reports i submitted
- refused to accommodate sanctions for students
- impromptu 'conversations/chats' which meant berating me off the record, phrased in a way to prevent HR getting involved

even students remarked that senior staff were specifically ignoring my flags over behaviour. "you call them, but they never show up". to top it off, they didn't bother to register my early teacher status, so now i'm 3 months behind.

the bullying behaviour came from the new principal believing the current staff weren't good enough (too inexperienced), so they deliberately tried to drive people like me away even though they'd just hired me for the role. i'm not the only one that got this sort of treatment, but i think i got it especially bad. around half of the people from my dept are leaving the school this year because of how bad the treatment has gotten. they refused to let people apply for internal roles too (a teaching assistant doing her english degree wanted to move up) and would tell them not to bother applying.

it got really fucking nasty when the old principal left, and the rats brown nosing their way up the ladder while treading on people that were their friends deserve the beating of a life time.

>>21673944
Jesus just get a different job you dramatic bitch

>>21673921
For some reason I was thinking that 10, 100, 1000... etc. should be replaced with a different symbol, but I guess the current numerals work fine.

>>21673944
you shouldn't be around children

>>21673954
yeah i should be thankful for career sabotage while i was dealing with my dad dying and trying to find a way to financially stabilise my family as a result kek

>>21673966
and yet i am.

>>21673963
There's a reason we don't use Roman numerals anymore

>>21673969
I didn't say "be thankful," but you should extricate yourself from the situation and find a new job instead of going on about how you want to kill yourself and maim your coworkers.

>>21673981
>extricate yourself from the situation and find a new job
i did leave that job, i didn't want anything more to do with the place, then i find out they didn't register me properly and forced me to get involved with them again. i'm just tired of this shit. it's never enough for people to fuck me over once, they have to twist the knife.

>>21673963
I thought I was missing something there kek. I wish I had done more in maths when I was younger, but I guess sloth is overpowering in youth.

>>21673720
Being alone. Being alone is fine if you have time for yourself, but it isn't as fun when you have to work at home after work. I barely have any time for myself. If my future self saw me writing this, he'd probably slap the hell out of me for wasting his time. Well, fuck that guy.

Mom is really sick and I'm broke. My boss made a raffle and gave me the money so I could take her to the doctor. There are good people in the world (even tho I feel strange by being helped)

>>21674026
Why are you so busy?

>>21673944
I'm the original anon you responded to. I know you're going through a tough situation right now. It seems like they had the wrong idea about you and they've greatly disrespected you. It's easy to get angry over something like this, and honestly your anger is justified.
At the same time, the people that personally harmed you may have been under the wrong impression of you. In a way, they weren't attacking you, but instead they were attacking a non-existent person that they believed to be you. They didn't take into account that you were not part of the issue; it doesn't excuse their disrepect of you, but it is useful to consider.

Do you really want to hurt yourself and that's what you're really considering, while harming other people is just something you're fantasizing about?
Also, there may be ways out of this. Is your country first world or burgerland?

>>21674180
That's nice, I hope everything works out for you and her.

>>21674217
they knew what they were doing. they wanted to drive out 'inexperiened' staff, and they did in a tactically shit way. it's not just them, it's everyone in my life.
"hey do you agree x for y?"
"yeah x for y sounds good let's do it"
"ok here's your x"
"... i want z now"
every, god damn, time.

i'm trapped because of deals like this. it's shit. i can't even escape. the work thing is just the last straw. there isn't anything i can do in my life that works out. so why do i keep trying to make things work? being logical doesn't accomplish anything, because people are lying fucking bastards. so what to do when logic doesn't work? behave irrationally. kill myself? bash others? what does it fucking matter. if i bash others i'll go to prison. i'll still be alive and suffering, but i'll know people that crossed me are suffering too. if i kms i don't have to deal with any of this shit anymore.

i'm not a burger.

>>21674242
It sounds like you've had it really bad, dude. Let's say you decide to try living a bit longer, do you think it would be possible to get a job somewhere else, or is your financial situation in dire straits?

>>21674266
financially my family have fucked me over the worst. it's pretty dire as a result.

>>21674183
On the one hand, I have an internship I need to push to completion and it gives me wagies hours. One the other hand, I have college projects to finish, which should take all of my time at home. I'm basically working all week and all day, or at least should be. Why are you not so busy?

>>21674180
rare based boss moment

>>21674271
If your financial situation were better, do you think you would be willing to try to keep going a little longer?
Do you live in the Western and anglo world? So, USA, Europe, Australia, NZ, Iceland/Greenland etc?

I'm considering blocking out any news from now on, all it's doing is making me bummed and have no hope for the future

Human begins contain infinity within them. The imagination is infinite. The human mind is like a blackhole that absorbs stimuli and information and spits it back out in a fragmented and biased state. There is no self but the electricity powering (You) is eternal and has existed since the beginning of time in some form. There is a collective unconscious which we are birthing into a collective conscious via technology like the internet. This will progress until the point where the conscious and subconscious are indistinguishable and everyone is in an informational miasma stupor. You're already dead, you're just a ghost dreaming.

>>21674180
I hope your mom gets better soon.

>>21674285
>If your financial situation were better, do you think you would be willing to try to keep going a little longer?
doesn't matter anymore. i've been fucked and betrayed so much i'm getting very paranoid. the damage is bigger than the money. gonna start DND'ing phone and deleting online accounts. the last time i got caught trying to off myself was because i said goodbye to someone, then the bastards called the pigs.

>>21674305
They were trying to help you, weren't they? If you just said "goodbye", they had no legal obligation to report it.
I don't mean to say that you are wrongfully angry, but wouldn't you like to have a little more time to breathe and think about this? What happened when they reported you the first time?

>>21673746
I hope not

>>21674319
police came, found me in a p remote location. i got swarmed by police. managed to avoid getting sectioned. they were trying to keep me alive because they would've been upset if i died. it wasn't to help me, it was to help them. so if i wanna try again, i need to remove the temptation to tell people that will thwart me. i'm a dumb bitch afraid to die entirely alone, so i'll be tempted to message people. if i cut people off, i won't do that, i won't get caught.

>>21674332
Don't do it. You are going to die 100%. Might as well see what happens. Dissociate and observe.

>>21674342
dont care to. next weekend sounds good.

>>21674347
When the fingers of death tighten around your throat you'll regret it.

>>21674350
my plan is CO poisoning. i'll go to sleep before i feel the unconsciousness setting in. i'll die quietly.

>>21674354
I mean that would work. Ultimately it's your life and if you choose to end it because you want to it's really no ones business. I just wouldn't take that gamble.

>>21674360
my life isn't worth shit, it's been proven over and over again. you think people that are worth shit get screwed on everything they do? i've been rolling those dice for years and losing every throw because people keep turning the fucking things after they've landed.

last time i started, i was dumb. i told someone what i was doing. told them goodbye blah blah blah. they knew my name. they phoned popo. i got convinced that it was the wrong type of charcoal, i got scared i was goin to immolate, so when i got to finally passing out from the CO, i panicked. i should have gone to sleep before it set in. that's the plan next time. set the charcoal embers. go to sleep. don't wake.

>>21674232
>>21674303
Thank you, frens! I'm sure she'll get better soon.
>>21674282
Indeed. I couldn't ask for a better boss, she's brilliant

>>21674380
You're the one who decides if your life is worth anything, if that's what you choose then it's the truth for you. I don't know how old you are or what you've gone through but everything is temporary, including pain.

>>21673908
Well it happened a few times already and now shes complaining i STILL dont know what to say. She says my face is like a statue when she tells me anything and it probably is. Also im trying to give solutions to help her but thats also not right apparently. Saying i understand and that her situation (whatever it is) is sad is also not enough. Idk how normies do it.

>>21674389
almost 30, not a kid that's tried 2 things and phoned it in. 10 years of this shit. it's been non-stop.

>>21674394
It seems to me you've reached a crossroads. 30 is still quite young, despite how we've been programmed to view aging. I fully understand where you're coming from and the desire but I don't know man, I just wouldn't personally. I hope you make whatever choice brings you the most peace.

>>21674332
I attempted a suicide in a slightly related manner. I took medication that I knew was deadly and I made sure I took 3 times the lethal dose. I planned to jump into the river I was next to and drown after I started experiencing the drop in blood pressure. I called 911 using a phone that did not have a number and was not connected to my name, because IRL local police cannot track phones, and certainly not in the time that it would have taken for me to die. The reason I called is because, like you, I desperately wanted to hear someone else's voice before I died.
I made sure not to tell them my location, however, I did tell them I was beside a river, and I believe they were able to hear the highway near me. The speed with which they deduced my location was honestly frightening.
I decided to go into the water to prevent rescue even before unconsciousness, which proved to be a mistake. I figured that I would drown, because I didn't know how to swim, and because I don't float. Unfortunately, I found it too easy to navigate the ice cold winter waters.
They threw some sort of floating device down into the river and I refused to take hold of it. I could feel my blood pressure dropping from both the ice and the water. I felt like I would vomit. As the device floated closer towards me, I looked at the officers and thought to myself
>"They must think I want them to come down and get me."

I shit you not. I grabbed the device because I didn't want to look cringe. I didn't want them to think I wanted to be saved. How fucking ridiculous could I be? To cut a long story short, I died on the way to the hospital. They rescuscitated me, and I was in the ICU for a few days.
I am currently permanently damaged because of that. I wish I died then- my legs grow weak from walking short distances- I go out of breath from putting on clothes- I have fits of palpitations in bed- I am going deaf and blind. I wished, and still wish that I died.

Why do I tell you this? Because if you fail your position will be so much worse. If there is anything that you can do, try it. If you can find a way out, find it. If you live in a first world country, beg for help. Tell them you want to change. You think that CO2 will kill you? I knew a guy from the looney bin that was a vegetable because just enough CO2 escaped a small crack in his car that his brain was kept partially functional. He would scream and beg for death every day. That could be you.
I am not going to reply any more or debate with you on whether you should die or not; I am telling you to try one last time. Try because it could be so much worse.

>>21674332
>>21674462
To make my final point clear: Try whatever you can, no matter what it is, to live a little longer. If you want, call "the pigs" and turn yourself in. Jusy try. Don't fuck around with suicide.

>>21673944
Hey nice to see you didn't jump off that cliff

>>21674462
>>21674480
i'm pretty sure i damaged my heart last time. i don't especially care. people say they care, but their actions do not reflect that. i won't turn myself in because it'll make my life immeasurably worse. 'just seek help' they say, then they punish you.

>>21674332
nigga go outside. school shooter tier mindset

>>21674462
I enjoy wholesome slice of life stories, because as a child, I had always fantasized about having a deep, meaningful, and intimate friendship, with anyone, but despite my popularity, I was always tepid around others. Now, as an adult, that tepidity has cooled, congealed, and hardened into filthy grease around my heart sullied with cynicism, contempt, mistrust, and misanthropy, with absolutely no social or emotional interest in anyone, no capacity for human intimacy, no ability to stomach masochism of even surface-level workplace pleasantries, and no interest in engaging with humans outside of a professional environment. I do however continue to enjoy the fantasy.

Also, even with a small amount of images, most of them made by myself despite having numerous folders, they remain so poorly organized that I can't find them unless I remember the file name, which in this case, thankfully, I did. If you were curious, this image was in the "anti-White" folder for some reason, presumably because of their crying about suicide, but also as an attempt to inspire them.

>>21674523
how the fuck are all of you "allegedly actively suicidal", I swear, this sounds like some lying 14-year-old girl fiction shit. Fucking emo kids. If you have "bad feeling" why are you not fighting to the death with your "emotions" that make you "feel so bad"?

>>21674542
you rely to the wrong anon? b/c what you just described sounds like the teacher retard

>>21674553
i'm the teacher retard
trust i'm, i'm already convinced every decision i've made in life is wrong.
i'm a fucking loser that has managed none of their goals. working towards them seems to be actively punitive. i would shoot my childhood self through the head given the chance.

i had to lie to the popo when they detained me. it must've been 30 minutes after i bottled out. they found the charcoal, the brazier/firepit about 50 yards away where i'd moved it. i had auditory and visual disruption. they found the suicide note in my car. i convinced them it was an act of catharsis for when i felt low, and wanted the fire to make it feel special. when they found the parcel shelf removed, they asked why, and i told them i'd just sat on the boot.

in reality i'd put the smouldering brazier in the boot of the car and sat in the back seat. i had a blanket and pillow back there. i was supposed to go to sleep.

i got detained for 24h awaiting mental health team. told them the same shit. they released me.

>>21674592
you sound mentally ill. not meming on you, just generally think you need to get help

>>21674607
probably. might have something to do with having everything i've tried to accomplish stomped on.

>>21674615
is this a larp?

>>21674620
nope. why would you think it's a larp? my life is just this shit.

>>21674626
confirmed

Freedom is being able to cut your eyes open and regrow them.

Your minds eye is a metaphysical aperture that you can move around inside your head and move anywhere within your imagination to see whatever you want. You can feel it. It's where "You" sit in your head.

>>21674629
is this you just trying to kill my dumb pity party? it seems pretty effective.

I feel as if I’ve grown infinitely lazier after a 2 year long stint of low blood oxygen. No idea why. I actually find writing or doing anything else genuinely more fun than spending all day reading on my bed as if my legs didn’t work, but the call of the bed overwhelms me. I wear my mask now when I sleep but I’m still infinifely more tempted to lay down and read than doing anything more productive.

>>21674626
So do you srsly plan to kill or attack people?

>>21674664
who knows. it moves between wanting to take myself out, and wanting to take out the people that put me here : )

>>21673720
I’m a Chad trapped in a virgin’s body.

>>21674684
Why not just quit your job and try to rebuild your life? Either find a different job or move to a different place, or teach English abroad or something.

>>21674702
he'd rather cry on 4chan

>>21674705
lol

>>21674702
because it's not that easy. my dad died and i have to help my mum to keep the house. i got screwed over on my living situation by my lying piece of shit brother. another job won't pay sufficiently at the moment even though i fucking hate it at this point. i can't move elsewhere because of the above. i'm not wuflu jabbed which makes foreign TEFL jobs complicated. i don't have enough 'years of service' to do international schools anyway.

i'm tied here.

>>21674691
I'm a virgin trapped in a Chads body

>>21674717
>Antivaxxer
Ah so you're just retarded, I see.

>>21674724
Be my wingman.

>>21674729
i've been vaccinated against illnesses worth getting vaccinated against.

Im not aspiring to be a writer but i had to write some essays for art academy. Somehow everything i wrote ended up consisting of vagueries, schizobabble and general statements and i could never come to a point or proper argument or conclusion. I passed anyway because >art lol

>>21673720
The former Mrs B always looked at me like this when I was 14.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a90BAwsvlA

At least I was 16 when I met Ms slanty over there.

>>21674731
Literally just b urself bro, that has worked for me but that could only be because I'm ok looking and "funny".

>>21674749
That's the funny thing about schizobabble. You can write literal nonsense, actual nonsense but as long as the prose is nice people will project meaning onto it.

>>21674717
Sounds kinda difficult. Still you probably shouldn't kill yourself if your mother is relying on you.

>>21674810
sounds like my brother's problem.

We were at some scout thing or whatever which she took her sons to sometimes. My father said they had a completely loveless marriage and hated each other and that she slept with someone at the nature preserve and got arrested for public indecency.

This was years back so take it with a grain of salt.

>we're pregnant!
No, only one of you is pregnant, buddy— your wife is. Hang these fucking cunts right next to the people who use "they" in the singular.

>>21674838
Transphobic much?

>>21674838
Calm your tits.

>>21674838
That movie reminded me of them. They were in a similar situation to the plot of the film.

>>21674813
Your death would still be your mother's problem though. And you said your brother is a lying piece of shit.

>>21674887
then they shouldn't have lied me into a miserable position. it's very hard for me to pity people that have manufactured this situation.

>>21674897
Yet you pity yourself, curious

>>21674913
i just want it to be over.

We don't live in the future yet, but I think by 2025 we will.

>https://boards.4channel.org/lit/wwoym
xi u dumbass if u don't put "wwoym" no one is gonna find the damn thread man. ok, now... three day weekend time to slack off! let's gooo!

>>21674897
Then they probably are miserable themselves and inflicted their misery on you. Doesn't really justify an act of retribution. Life isn't about exchanging equivalents of misery or kindness. I doubt there's a way to justify the suffering that your suicide would cause.

>>21674963
> I doubt there's a way to justify the suffering that your suicide would cause.
it would end my suffering. they didn't need to make me suffer, they chose to, they'll continue to choose to because they know they can get away with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jil20E3Zxw

>>21674974
Anon this barely qualifies as music

>>21674981
Have you ever heard of No Game No Life?

>>21674986
No what is it

>>21674991
A pedo relationship involving a teen boy and his little sister.

Political and economic philosophy makes no fucking sense to me at all. it honestly terrifies me. id rather read nothing but metaphysics forever than that stuff. political and economic philosophy just seems like the ultimate grim no win scenario

>>21674967
Have you tried telling them "Hi, I'm about to kill myself. Can't we figure out a way to handle this situation?"

Feels like my stomach is a dying star, collapsing and imploding in on itself, turning in waves and doing corkscrews like a drowning swimmer gasping for air

>>21674974
rec me alone-in-your-room-on-saturday-night music
ie beach house, loveless...

>>21675018
Don't quit your day job.

>>21675034
Are you saying my writing is shit?
This isn't poetry my stomach fucking hurts anon

>>21675022
Beach house are so great. You might like this band if you don't know them. Not the same genre as beach house but it is "slow, atmospheric melancholic girl singing"
https://youtu.be/avv2IIdDnnk

Ehh, actually most of you ITT seem to be dicks
Was it like this 5 years ago? We should retire these threads

Bunch of lonely depressed crabs in a bucket
Get some purpose

Joe Flacco is a better quarterback than Derek Carr.

>>21675018
Did you eat taco bell again anon? You know it gives you bad rumbles.

>>21675044
i do know this band :)

>>21675022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXkeBruAFMI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVhVLJCYL6A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBX5rDszspM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEFn29AVJlI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_VTtGujPI&list=PLN252wGKiRTuTd8GdpHCxwwYFNH_8zVkN

>>21675078
>grouper
Very based.

https://youtu.be/6gnKBDlJutA
https://youtu.be/3322M2ugWp8
https://youtu.be/nMthKt5pwRQ

I hate it when people dump their emotional trauma on me. Fuck you. No I'm not listening to your bullshit or your monologue about how people have been mean to you and I'm not telling you what has also been bugging me lately. I don't want to think about that shit. And afterwards even if you listen to their inane thing they just get tired of you not responding to their messages and leave. Why is it so hard to understand that I am not YOURS? I'm not a teddy bear you can play with and dump on the pavement like an used condom, you piece of shit. That's why I hate people. If people actually thought "Oh shit, is what I am going to say interesting/of actual interest to the people I'm speaking to or am I just dumping my emotional trauma on some poor guy who didn't ask for anything?" before speaking everyone would be flying in cars fueled by nuclear energy by now.

>>21675138
You just did that to everyone itt thread retard well done.

Do you follow brands or particular styles?

>>21675151
I legitimately do not even know who is "famous" anymore. "Famous" people to me are like Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks.

>>21675138
Can I dump some emotional baggage on you? I wanna die today! I just wanna die! lalalala

>>21675138
>I'm not telling you what has also been bugging me lately
incredible

>>21675022
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl3fIXaAXow

Any really good writers who picked it up fairly late in life? I can’t think of any.

getting into recording vids of myself while listening to goodbye horses lately

>>21675151
i buy clothing brands based on fit and materials. ralph lauren is kinda basic, but their sizing is for perfect for me. their fit models must have my exact measurements of something. also, cole haan is pretty middy, but they always have my size in stock which i can't say for most shoe brands, so i just order from them. sometimes i'm envious of short guys who can walk into any store and be guaranteed all the clothes will fit, then i think again.

>>21675048
This is our thread to whine about stuff and berate people.

>>21675203
Gotta obfuscate your humblebragging a bit better there homo.

Death isn't sweet, bitter, or bittersweet because it has no taste. Dead things can have taste. However, I don't think dead people taste sweet unless you add sugar.

>>21675151
Brands that emulate a particular style.

>>21675146
I thought about that too. Figured no one was forced to read it. You've even got a (You) now. Everyone is happy
>>21675171
No
>>21675176
thanks

itchy nose finger
and thumb quickly pulls on it
then begins to type

>>21674729
I'm not him but I'm actually planning suicide because I developed a nasty health condition from the jab that is making my life impossible, on top of previous problems I had.
>>21674920
Are you the guy who told me in the other thread not to get into teaching?
You know what I miss, before I die. I've had these angry/vengeful thoughts for a time too, got through the whole thing, but what I'd really like right now is to do something grand, I dunno, help someone, do something that leaves a good footprint somewhere and then kill myself. The world will forget anything you do anyway. I cannot accept that the world is so vast and yet there are no possibilities. My health is garbage so there's a limit on me but I've got this cowardice in me that prevents me from going out and doing something radical before offing myself. I'm a coward, I've lost faith in me. There are other people that may have put me into this position either directly or indirectly but my problem is entirely this paralysis and I cannot for a fact prove that it won't work except making a projection that it won't and double, triple down on it. My mind keeps telling me, it can't all be this shit, there must be a spot somewhere where you can do something impactful. I can drain what last I have of me doing something unsustainable and then I'll just die.
I think this site is also filled with bad agents that fuel this shit. I think one of the best things to do would be to leave this site but I'm in this vicious circle where I'm in a void, and being in a void makes me panic, so I come here for comfort and this place fuels all the negative shit I have to say and it's only the only place where people seem to understand what I say. I don't want this place to be my grave but as of now I'd rather write my suicide note here than anywhere on paper. This shithole is all I have and it's getting swallowed by bots and the cancer that's ruined the internet. And even worse I will die in this shit of a city that I was so desperate to leave all my life. I hate my hometown and I'm afraid I'll die here.

What would you do if you were the last woman on Earth?

>>21675151
im in my mid thirties and married, so basically my style is that I try not to look like a slob by wearing semi-expensive basics, safe but tasteful colors like maroon, tan, and olive green shirts, a basic rolex, and whatever shoes. for a laugh i let my 15yo niece pick out a bunch of my shirts. im peacefully going to transition into that basic bitch urbanite patagonia dad because being 30 is past the point where fashion is relevant and it feels fine. the only difference between me and every other basic bitch middle class urban Angeleno is that i dont have faux rugged boots. im at the level of idgaf where im two years away from being the dad that wears white monarchs and cargo shorts everywhere. being married is amazing because it permits you to be boring.

>>21675313
>developed a nasty health condition from the jab
Did you really? What is it

>>21675343
I don't wanna disclose it because it may be used to identify me but it's one of the COVID long term issues. I mean, fucking thank you very much, if the vaccine cripples you anway I'd rather have caught COVID with its consequences instead of shooting myself in the foot. Hopefully I would have fucking died too instead of having to the fucking job myself

>>21675338
probably suicide ASAP. getting chain raped as soon as I poked my nose out of the door would be inevitable

>>21675353
Decent attempt at bullshitting but ultimately the bait is detected.

>>21675353
my friends friend had a miscarriage after being pressured into getting the jab (her sister had a heart condition at 30yo -- and she was PREGNANT) then everyone gaslit her including her doctors, and they recommended therapy and marriage counseling to her husband when he yelled at the hospital staff.

yes, i am a pureblood

>>21675353
Sucks m8. Any hope of treating it?

>>21675341
I've been told multiple times that I look like a college professor with how I dress and it's always been in the context of a woman expressing interest in me romantically. Just dress classically TM and you're set. No, I do not mean go out dressing like a steampunk guy.

>>21675353
Sure retard. Go blog about it in your flat earther facebook group

>>21675372
I already knew doctors were retarded before this entire thing from a couple experiences I had trying to explain to them symptoms I had that they clearly didnt know what to call. Instead of showing humility in the face of this they would say literally insane and retarded things. One woman doctor attempted to tell me that my symptoms were caused by something which occurred 5 years after the symptoms began. I made sure to very carefully ask her if she understood what she was saying and she just kept saying it. Just unbelievable.

>>21675375
I'm going through a bunch of checkups but doctors haven't been very helpful so far. I've got little hope that it can be fixed because AFAIK this kind of damage is not reversible. If I were not suicidal already I'd have endured it for longer but I'm just so fucking tired right now. It really felt like God decided to give me that last push off the cliff. If things don't get better within the year I'll just off myself. I don't even know if I can make it one year. The thought that my mother would surely die after me, my cat getting euthanized for sure, my brother probably having problems from it too, I know that suicide is hard on families but I genuinely can't take it anymore. I've called Samaritan institutions, went to a therapist, nobody gives a shit. I will never get a job that doesn't make me want to be dead. I'm just fucked.

>>21675406
Have you tried the church? Not for everyone I know...but you never know

>>21675380
>No, I do not mean go out dressing like a steampunk guy.
$450 wasted

>>21675415
Yes I've tried doing the church stuff. I can't believe. Would've really liked to. I'd found a really nice community too but ultimately I was an alien and it made me feel uncomfortable. I was pretending and I knew it and I think others knew it too.
I'm in such trouble right now that I can't even think about lack of meaning, I really just need rest. Like a vacation, a long vacation.

>>21675404
most medical science will be outdated a few years after you graduate medical school. then you have boomer doctors who got their degree in 1980 lol. they dont care. its a racket for the jews.
>dont be silly, x is safe and effective
>develop lifelong endocrine syndromes, also your baby died lol
>react accordingly to being duped
>wow let me recommend you to psychiatrist dr shekelstein, you know you sound insane right now right?

>>21675419
Maybe not, I bet if you went to one of those steampunk cons as an average guy and put minimal effort in you could pulls some strange, probably a late 20s to 30s chick with some mental health issues and maybe fat who would want to do anal right off the bat and almost exclusively.

>>21675425
I'm sorry to hear that anon. What about this vacation scenario can you do this?

>>21675428
Some of medicine is obviously legitimate. For example
>antibiotics
>blood transfusion
>some forms of surgery

But there seems to be mountains of garbage

>>21675428
>take these meds or ill have you hospitalized
>develop hyperthyroidism and neurological syndromes and incontinence after taking ssris
>that means its working, and take these meds to control those side effects
>heres your bill lolz

>>21675404
>Instead of showing humility in the face of this they would say literally insane and retarded things. One woman doctor attempted to tell me that my symptoms were caused by something which occurred 5 years after the symptoms began. I made sure to very carefully ask her if she understood what she was saying and she just kept saying it. Just unbelievable.
In my experience most doctors are not all that intelligent. Half the time they are barely listening to what you are saying, and they just want to say whatever will get you the fuck out as quick as possible.
I had a similar experience to yours. I've had issues with breathing, like it feels more difficult to breath the past two years.
I brought this up to a doctor, and she insists that it's probably just allergies, that I take some allergy medicine to see if it fixes the problem. I know for a fact that it is not allergies, as the problem has been fairly constant. I say that I'm pretty sure it isn't and she just repeats that I should try taking allergy medicine. Says I can schedule some more complicated breathing test at a later date if I really want. But at that point I was just annoyed and left.

>>21675425
I find that integrating spirituality into your life in some manner, even in a simple way is very helpful. Like it or not you do exist in 2 states. There is the physical self, the one that exists and then the immaterial self, the you that thinks and dreams and has thoughts and feelings that no one other than you could ever comprehend. Try to think of yourself as in your own story, or as if you were your own son, in the same position as you asking for help and comfort and just see what your mind produces, even if it feels forced.

>>21675436
That's... really specific...

>>21675461
>a late 20s to 30s chick with some mental health issues and maybe fat who would want to do anal right off the bat and almost exclusively.
>really specific
not really. sounds like my ex

>>21675447
I don't think they're dumb so much as they develop this insane arrogance with respect to their patients. I'm sure they have people saying dumb shit all the time but I wasnt doing that, I was literally just describing symptoms. I googled my symptoms for a couple hours on my own and I found a possible diagnosis that none of those fucks ever even mentioned. But it cant be treated anyway so whatever

>>21675461
Nah that's just imagining the type of woman you would find at that place. It's about 50/50 whether or not she's a single mother. The best option you're left with is a sort of "fading star" hot drama girl who dabbled in high school and enjoys make believe and whimsy, who is also intelligent enough to exploit the crowd of lowbrows there but not engage with them beyond a superficial manner. Any environments could hide rough diamonds, it's just a matter of getting out there and actually finding them.

>>21675341
>amazing because it permits you to be boring
How do you find that amazing? Being lazy. Beauty is important anon. How do you find comfort in giving up? I disagree completely.

>>21675474
i really think there’s something to a boring chic style (normcore?) ie archery’s or RL jacket, maison kitsune top, ysl trainers, all designer but not obvious
the important thing is to not look like you’re really trying

>>21675498
*arcteryx
also i’m not that guy you’re replying to

>>21673720
a pit is a dog that's been custom made to murder other dogs for people's entertainment. no matter what its training or experience, a pitty is a killer. and the tragedy of it is that a pit is no less intelligent or social than any other dog. it, like any other dog, feels like something comparable to human emotions. but it lacks agency and cannot prevent itself from eating babies and mauling other dogs to death. i understand the pitty. i feel its suffering. i would never feel comfortable touching one

>>21675537

>>21675537
As long as they're mix breed you're fine desu, the incidence of attacks drops dramatically

>>21675498
>>21675474
im that "boring" anon and this guy >>21675498 gets it. what ive noticed is that once you get to a certain age and income you want to be discrete. these people are all over LA. the "not really trying" aesthetic is key. they all pretend like they cant remember where they bought their jacket, when in reality they probably spent weeks looking for something expensive which normies cant tell is expensive. thats the whole bit. its not about being lazy or eschewing "beauty". but once youre settled and married the point is to relax. mostly i learned this trick from rich expats, where blending in keeps you from getting robbed and unwittingly developing hangers-on that want to scam you.

i look like this

bros i finally feel like i have a reason to write my story. i never had felt anything in life that was worth conveying, and now i have something i want to express purely for my own enjoyment. ive begun writing and its slow but i've never felt this confident.

>>21675577
based. this is the shit we like to see right here

i wish i was born in North Korea or some similar such society. why does God put people with no desire for personal agency in countries like the USA where "personal liberty" is the only virtue. i don't want choices. i want duty, obligation, restriction. oh how i hate these libertines and how i wish the dear Lord would strike them down

>>21675592
join the marines

>>21675607
i wanted to but i'm no longer able on account of my mental health hospitalizations (not my fault btw)

>>21675592
>>21675614
Retard lmao

The Official 4chan Server.

https://discord.gg/63G3qpkZ

All ppl from /lit/ welcome.

>>21675630
Nobody who actually likes 4chan would like discord

>>21675642
>https://discord.gg/63G3qpkZ

>>21675642
who actually likes 4chan ?

i've chosen death, i suppose. not out of moral conviction, just how i am. i dunno. i didn't want this when i was a boy, but the seed was always there

>>21675670
I fucking love 4chan
When I first found 4chan I had a kind of gigantic and immense relief that other people existed who would listen to the content of an argument instead of evaluating whether saying the argument would raise or lower your social or moral status, by implication of you saying it.

I love this website as much as I love my family and friends and exgfs.

>>21675679
jesus

>>21673720
Recovering from a bad first job

why do most christians think we go to heaven when we're saved? the Bible is very clear that the saved live in New Jerusalem on earth. only 144,000 and change go to heaven

>>21675733
protestant detected

>>21675740
yes? what's your point?

Are people with high levels of anxiety just an inferior people genetically speaking? It used to be useful in caveman times but now it brings no benefit to a person.

>>21675138
>I'm not a teddy bear you can play with and dump on the pavement like an used condom
now THIS is bad writing. Two mental images erase the base, by the end of the sentence we've lost sight of you, you can metapgor yourself intoa teddy bear, but don't turn that teddy bear into a used condom, the effect is unintentianally funny.

>>21675757
Just wait until peak oil.

>>21675744
have it your way

once hdya itdk s;a; ll gonna flslal appart

>>21675758
I don't put my used condoms on the pavement

>>21675757
The human capacity for fear and hatred is wildly outsized for civilization, but real good for walking grassy plains. We've modified our way of living in 5000 years using brains that have 100,000 years on the clock.

>>21675757
Depends on how intelligent they are. Anxiety and mental illness in general is directly linked with high IQ and low IQ.

>>21675782
Nice. I've always thought they look best hanging off roses, hydrangeas or some flowering weed along the roadside. The crudity next to beauty makes a satisfying friction.

>>21675757
yes

>>21675797
I found one wrapped around a banana in a shopping cart once.

>>21675797
freak

>>21675797
>not sheathing the handle of someone's car door with one
ngmi

>>21675779
Xi, have you ever thought about rehab?

>>21675816
Doing gross shit to random strangers loses its flavour after you're about 11. Much later, doing excellent things for random strangers becomes a kind of spiritual snack, you can look forward to that.

Car door handles will always be the place for fresh dogshit when you know someone is a fuckwit ie Craig David.

>>21675806
judgemental

>>21675831
craig davids all right

>>21675835
It's the truth

If you close your eyes and see the spiral, congratulations, you are one of the chosen.

>>21675849
I saw him say "I'll have my bodyguards muller you if you bump into me again." to someone at a club

>>21675863
>my opinions are truth
whoo boy, moving on to totalitarian infancy, no wonder you'll end up miserable and on meds.

>>21675904
fuckinell where did that come from

>>21675909
trump lost

>>21675899
lol
so funny he's still getting flack like it's 2004

>>21673720
I can't escape myself. I don't know where to go. I've been running for so long alone and without destination. As soon as an escape is found, it only becomes another cage. Freedom is only another word for confinement. The grass grows browner, rotting into itself. There is nowhere to go, since there is everywhere. Everywhere which is nowhere.
Every new cage I stumble into desiring some final absolution, only to see it fall apart. Which is what I wanted anyway. I've grown comfortable in my shell.
Nothing satisfies me as it is. I want it better but I don’t know what better means..
I lack direction, and no matter what feel the futility of trying. If I had a direction, I would chafe at it. Lacking one I’m unsatisfied.
Nothing to rebel against nor to submit.
I'm deeply imperfect, my thinking infantile and undeveloped. After my loss of faith, nothing can ever satisfy me. I randomly pick up and read whatever is suggested to me, never commiting myself to anything unable to believe I quickly become bored and discard it, and lacking the insight or ability to create something genuine of my own.
I desire the certantity that only religion once provided, but I can’t believe in religion anymore. Yet I find that I still carry those basic desires and patterns of thinking within me, long after the edifice has disappeared.
I can tell myself that pleasure in the here and now is all that matters, but that offers little consolation in the face of permanent death, with the knowledge that everything passes. If I were religious it could not satisfy me either, since the knowledge of being trapped in a being's creation is nightmarish to me. Though whether it is nightmarish or not is irrelevant.
What gives me consolation is not a test for truth. I will settle for something mediocre and hate myself for it.
Try as I have my means are limited, my perception poor. I am simply an inferior product.

I hope I can make it to 80 with a diet of cheese, bread, and olive oil

>>21675929
Truly spoken like the wisest 14 year old.

>>21675791
>Anxiety and mental illness in general is directly linked with high IQ and low IQ.
Which is which? Are there certain illnesses for low and high iq?

>>21675935
you'll get fat

If we met aliens who we could communicate with at a similar level as we do between ourselves, then we'd be force to no longer identify as human and have to create a new word that encompasses both us and the aliens in order to avoid Us v. Them issues.

>>21675942
Higher IQ is typically anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder, I'm not certain about low iq but iirc it's more actual potentially debilitating shit like autism.

>>21675935
swap out the bread for meat and youll be fine

>>21675941
I'm actually 22, soon to be 23.

>>21675950
how am i supposed to dip steak into olive oil

>>21675951
Do I really sound like a 14 year old?

>>21675956
No, I was just fucking with you anon.

>>21673720
I wanna quit caffeine so bad because of its overgrowing control on me but it is the only thing that keeps me motivated and confident
Is it a dosage issue anons ? should I try to control the dosages a little better instead of gulping 5-6gm whenever I feel like it
My exams are very close too so it feels like a dead end where if I try to quit I lose motivation and become a slob but if I keep going then the side effects and mood swings get even worse

>>21675949
Like a low functioning autism? Its strange how high iq correlates with mental illnesses when it would mean that a smarter person can overcome his shortcomings easier.

>>21675953
You slather it in chimichurri nigga, it's the best steak sauce.

>>21675962
It could also be that intelligent people are more likely to notice when they're mentally off and seek treatment more often than those with lower IQ.

>>21675963
Yes, that makes sense.

>>21675961
I get violently sick whenever I eat chimichurri. I can eat raw eggs, raw fish, raw meat, etc. just fine, but my stomach chooses to revolt whenever it detects fhe slightest sliver of that substance entering it.

>>21675971
Huh, I wonder why. It's just olive oil, parsley, oregano, and vinegar/lemon juice.

>>21673720
Recently I've been making collages. They are fun and easy to make..
I've always wished I had actual technical artistic skill. The nice thing about collages you just slap together a few interesting images, and I like how I can layer images over eachother.

>>21676048
>Gives beer to their child to drink because they're retarded
>I am giving this beer 1 star because I accidentally gave it to my child to drink
???

Playing tetris while listening to jungle beats, finally an activity that can hold my attention

>>21676089
For me it's playing bloons tower defense on benzodiazepines.

Suddenly I remembered a memory, I was maybe 10 or so and I stumbled on my moms birth control and I didn't know about sex, so I fell under the impression that women would just automatically get pregnant on their own if they didn't take those pills. I guess I didn't really think about how fatherhood worked
Anyone else?

>>21675950
that's just keto

>>21676089
big up the jungle massive

>>21676125
no i thought babies were delivered by storks

I was on my layover for an international vacation to Japan and I suddenly felt dejected and I flew home. I thought travelling would change me in some way, maybe I would come home a different person. A week ago I thought airports were the most amazing place because it was the hub to bring anyone anywhere, but sitting in the airport lounge for a few hours made it feel no different than any other place I could be. I thought there would be something special about the trains I would take in Japan, but I realized it was no different from the airport shuttle bus I just got off of. I would be there for ten days, looking at all kinds of stuff yet feeling nothing from them.

I didn't go so maybe I missed out on some grand revelation, but since coming home I have felt I don't need one. I am aware of what I like, dislike, am passionate about, and am unenthusiastic about, but I always try to leech onto other people's passions, probably because I am unconfident in my own. It's difficult to separate my true interests from things I just think I should interested in.

>be khv
>living in somewhat austere environment because of work
>open-bay quarters segregated by gender
>coworkers constantly talk about how they absolutely NEED pussy, been dry for 2/3/4 months and are losing it, would throw away their dignity for a chance to bone, are willing to drop hundreds of bucks on escorts, etc, etc
Is this really what having sex does to people?

>>21676382
yeah but it's a small price considering what not having sex does to people

>>21676348
That's really weird. Sounds like you just chickened out. To each their own though, I love the feeling of being a foreigner in another country.

>>21676401
It may be so, but it's not the first time I have experienced something like this. I used to be really into theme parks and rollercoasters, and would watch countless videos on them, just hoping for the day I could go and ride them all. But after riding a coaster one day, I just felt nothing from it and completely lost all interest. Now I probably wouldn't go out of my way to even go to a theme park unless I was invited. Years of having an interest just lost in a couple minute ride.

Maybe it could still be called chickening out though, one of the thoughts in my mind was "Do I want Japan, the country I have been infatuated with for almost my entire life, to lose its enthusiasm in my head?".

>>21675313
dont delude yourself into giving back

>>21675016
they just accuse me of upsetting them if i say things are bad. people do not care about a worthless wretch like me until it's about to make them look bad. even then, it's not that they care about me, it's that they care they look bad. it's selfish.

do you ever think about how many people you interact with throughout the day have never read the Bible, and as such pretty much live in a different universe from you?

>>21676517
Literally everyone you meet is living in a different "Universe".

>>21676397
I'll take my chances.

i had a dream where i was in a dark library. there were shadowy figures walking around everywhere. i went downstairs and saw a room with sheets in it, the sheets were moving by themselves. i got out my phone to record what i was seeing; in that moment the sheets transformed to a hospital room where my dad was on life support. the phone started video calling my mum. i held it to my chest as she made mundane conversation about dinner and ran. i ran down another flight of stairs, and was stopped by a humanoid, extraordinarily fast; it was greyish blue, entirely bald, shawled in grey, and had long, pointed fingers. it told me to prove myself, handed me an old 9 key and told me to press 2. i did, and the phone began ticking. the figure held its hands to its chest limply, and said "ah tiktiktiktik yes, i see", and beckoned i followed. on the other side of the door, i could see a trail of ants walking. as i walked through the door, the trail of ants reversed, and it felt like my stomach turned. it made me walk through another door, and i was on a train in twilight. the door behind me was gone, and i woke up.

no clue what that dream was. didnt feel entirely like a dream.

>>21676636
If you get these dreams reoccurringly you can make them stop by calling out the name "jesus christ" during the dream. I have a ton of dreams where I'm being assaulted by awful things and I can always wake up or stop the nightmare by saying that name in my dream. I dont mean normal nightmares where you're just fighting something, but the ones where it feels like some inhumanly evil presence is stalking you and you feel sheer terror.

It is well known in the alien abduction literature that praying to jesus stops the abductions.

I'm not telling you to convert to Christianity or anything, just try doing that in your dream next time if you want them to stop

>>21673720
Pureblood here.

Went to my old workplace I got fired from over the vax. Should I be open to working for them again? I really missed my job, it suited my autistic ways and was pretty chill and comfy. My old coworker is now the manager and the times I've gone in he still looks after me. Plus it had its perks. It was a thrift store so I could always find shit I needed whether it's furniture, white goods, clothes, electronics etc for very cheap. Plus on top I was buying shit for cheap and could flip it on eBay.

Wouldn't mind helping out again as a volunteer (more so for my old coworker than the business itself) just to get in on the product and discounts. But yeah what do you think, is it cuck to go back.

I think if I get a job but part time this time, that my welfare (in my country) won't be touched if I work a max of only 2 days a week

>>21676676
They ended up doing a "survey" acting like they're asking staff if they would be ok working with unvaxxed staff, even though they didn't do this when they decided to implement their policy lol.

>>21676663
it didnt seem malicious though. it seemed to be checking for something. my feeble brain interpreted as 'time', hence the ticking. it seemed to be putting me back. i've always had the feeling something has been steering my life. maybe it just put me back into the timeline where i belong. it was strange. but you are right, i had the feeling of it being utterly inescapable.

>>21674391
>Also im trying to give solutions to help her but thats also not right apparently.
Women talk about problems as a way of bonding and as a way of dealing with the negative emotions surrounding those problems. It doesn't solve the problem, and indeed, it is not the point of it to solve the problem, the point is to quell the negative emotions associated with it.
Do not offer solutions. That is not what she is asking for when she mentions a problem (unless she specifically asks for solutions).
By talking about problems she is essentially coping, and to put it analogously, coping the way a man might cope with negative emotions by watching hardcore pornography. Now imagine you were pissed off and about to jerk it to calm down a bit, and just as you were about to bust, your porn movie got interrupted by a 5 minute unskippable ad on how you should be doing yoga and Transcendental Meditation to cope with negative emotions. You would be pissed off. Same thing with your woman.
Work on having a more expressive face (practice in front of a mirror if you must) and then when she is harping on about problems, just essentially go "I hear ya", "wow, that sucks", "I totally get it", "you are so right, I understand why you fould feel that way about that", etc.
One of the main ways men misunderstand women is failing to grasp how much of their interpersonal behavior is essentially just using interaction to regulate their emotions. Men do it too without realizing. This thread is full of people unloading, many of them not with this idea that some random guy should come and tell them how to fix it.

>>21676686
If it didnt bother you then never mind. Most peoples dreams involving aliens are extremely unpleasant, some people even develop PTSD symptoms from them, so I just thought I would recommend that to you, because it really does seem to work.

If for you this was a positive thing though then I would say that the aliens can have different symbolic significance in different scenarios. I dont know, just wanted to tell you that in case the dreams were distressing you

>>21676663
Thanks for the top-tip Jesus, I'll try this

>>21674242
>>21673944
Just had a similar kind of talk with my dad yesterday. He's retired already but worked almost forty years in the fire department. He started off in the usual way as an ambulance driver, then became a fireman, then a foreman, then at an older age he went to school again to educate himself in order to get qualification for an executive fire officer's job. He also got qualified for work as a chief but decided to stay an executive officer because he preferred the different work shift structure.

Anyway we drank some brandy and talked about his personal experiences with the chiefs, and he had many stories about how self-serving, lazy, incompetent and even unqualified most of these chiefs were. In their meetings he was often the only one pointing out real issues and problems and the higher ups hated his guts for it. The others didn't dare speak because they didn't want to get into their crosshairs. For example dad often asked what the rationale was for increasing their workload all the time, and had there been any evaluation whether they could have the time to deal with their legally obligated tasks. And one time a certain chief who had been moved to his area had copy-pasted an official guideline, signed it, and they were discussing the contents in a meeting. Dad points out that there is a mistake in the document: it said that a diving team with two volunteer brigaders and one foreman should be established. But in this area there were no volunteer brigaders with the required training for diving! The chief said that there is no mistake and that my dad was reading the document like the Devil reads the Bible. Unbelievable.

He had many such stories and the overriding theme was that the higher-ups' seats were like a revolving door. People kept changing posts, and more often than not these posts werw occupied by people who had no experience of fire rescue work! He criticized how awful this culture really is. These unqualified people would come and go every few years. The result was a lack of expert chiefs with adequate specialization in their own area and field who were also too prideful to take criticism. My dad was never fired or anything like that but they hated his guts for daring to speak up.

>>21676348
>. I thought there would be something special about the trains I would take in Japan, but I realized it was no different from the airport shuttle bus I just got off of
They are though. I suspect you do not like trains.

I'm gonna hit a 405 deadlift this year if I have to destroy my spine to do it.

>>21675470
People in the healthcare sector are quick to develop a stunning lack of empathy after being in the field for a few years. It's terrible. Patients are not listened to and their concerns and thoughts mean little to the doctors. But only the patients can experience whatever the affliction it is they are going through.

>>21676676
Sure apply again if you want to work there. Don't hold yourself back.

>>21676700
i wouldn't have described the figure as alien, more demonic. it looked like a stereotypical vampire, sans the fangs. i couldn't really look at its face. i kept fixating on the very long, pointed nails, almost like claws.

>>21676739
wouldn't recommend going at it that hard but I respect your devout passion

>>21673739
don't kill yourself, bro/bro-ette. call 988 or a local mental health center for help. i've been very suicidal (on the verge of overdosing/using other means) four times, and I'm glad I got help. people care about you, anon.

>>21676857
i'm the teacher retard, i don't regret trying, i regret failing.

I used a recently released AI face image search that could even recognize a childhood picture of me and relate it to my adult face, however there are tons of pictures of people who look kind of similar to me and many of them seem to resemble psychological traits of me, merely by face alone. I always suspected a friend of mine is secretly transfeminine so I wanted to see what results the search would generate now. The timeline was filled with transporn images. That's not because the face passes so beautifully, but because they all share a similar psychology. This is scary as hell. If status and personality is written on the face then I need to find the chosen one via this search engine, the one who got closest to having greatness written on his face, who understands the whole meta and then search for similar people and observe how their genetic potential expressed itself.

I just thought for a few moments about the sexy son hypothesis. It goes something like this:
At some point, sexual attractiveness morphed into some self-enclosed gestalt of sharp facial features and hunter eyes and became self-perpetuating - no matter what other qualities the man had or lacked, this physical attractiveness would ensure that if his genes produced a son, that son would too have that je-ne-sais-quoi constitutive of a pussy-melting face that women couldn't resist, and so the son would also reproduce. If the genes produced a daughter, well daughters will always get fucked because they have a warm hole, so that's no issue, meaning the je-ne-sais-quoi of sexiness became a self-perpetuating and self-enclosed evolutionary winner strategy. It doesn't really matter what qualities you have - as long as you're perceived as hot by women, the genes will win.

On this hypothesis, men are solely selected for their ability to make women wet. In civilized and industrialized society, this no longer has anything to do with survivability, prosocial skills or desirable qualities beyond or in addition to making women wet.

The entire human race is being perpetuated and perfected for the sole purpose of causing women's holes to get wetter and experience harder contractions upon penetration. This is the natural terminus state of the evolution of an apex predator. An entire genealogy of a species, all histories of civilizations, from the invention of fire to the death of the sun, has moved towards one end: make women wetter and make them cum harder. Untold billions of people have and shall in the future suffer, toil and die in wars and as failed biological specimens to achieve this absolute teleology of humanity, making women wet. The ultimate end purpose of homo sapiens is becoming the most refined sex toy for women possible.

At first this made me want to get off this gay ride, but then it really struck a nerve in my femdom fetish, and now my cock is so fucking hard you wouldn't believe it.

>>21676901
God you faggots are all so fucking retarded.

>>21676905
Tell me something I don't know.

janny deleted thread about roald dahl books being changed, is roald dahl not lit?

>>21676950
they also deleted the one about animal souls or whatever which was legitimately off-topic though not totally against the spirit of the board.

>>21675758
thanks for the laugh

i've begun distancing everyone. i got caught trying to kms last time because i was dumb and emotionally spilled onto someone else. that can't be an option next time.

>>21677051
>i got caught trying to kms last time because i was dumb and emotionally spilled onto someone else
did they pity you?

>>21677118
dunno. 1 person told me i had wrong type of charcoal. another who knew my name phoned the popo, got cross referenced with family reporting me missing. i don't think they pitied me. i think they pitied themselves. 'too hard to know someone killed themselves'.

poopcels be like "i have to poop"

What did Google translate mean by this?
No like honestly, what the fuck - try it out for yourselves, I knew about this years ago but thought they had fixed it, if you feed google translate from Somali the right amount of "uga boogas" and "bix noods" you can get meaningful sentences. But it's super finnicky, changing and ooga to an ooka might turn the entire sentence into something entirely different, or render the whole thing illegible.
Anyone have any idea why this is? Maybe the lead dev on the Somali translator bot is just a huge troll, or what?

>>21677127
i never said that?

I like taking long walks on the beach by myself. My favorite part of these walks is on the occasions where I get to meet lone individuals walking on the beach too. These meeting always end the same with precious memory and new keepsake from my new friend.

God has set me aside for destruction

>>21677421
No he didn't

>>21676731
Exactly, I was trying to say that in the second little paragraph. I wasn't meaning to say these things are universally uninteresting, but my expectations of these things were fueled only from people who can derive something out of it. I think what you said is how I initially got myself feeling dejected, I thought about all the things I had planned to do and realized- I don't actually like any of these things. I imagined myself sitting on the Tokyo Monorail, feeling nothing special as I looked over the landscape of which I also felt nothing about. Something about this image in my head was just too depressing to stand. There was once a time where I probably would've genuinely felt impassioned by a Tokyo train, but it has long since passed, yet I still clung to the idea.

I still had doubts after going back home, maybe I would've had tons of fun doing all the things I planned to do, but somehow this ambiguity feels a lot better than if I had arrived and undeniably confirmed my disinterest.

>https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691099538/nietzsches-zarathustra
> Pages: 1612
how did jung manage to right 1600+ pages about thus spake zarahustra? was it autism?

>>21677497
was Freud right calling Jung just a mad prophet but not a psychologist?

>>21674684
Instead become a teacher in some third world like vietnam and kill prostitutes there to calm down your mind. Also you will make good money since its cheaper than water in there

>>21673746
Nah, I study compsci, I'm the first to go.

>>21678008
That's sad

>>21675567
You look pretty cool, Anon.
>>21678012
The future is very uncertain. Raw logical intellect may loose worth in the next decades.

>>21675679
Love u 2 anon

>>21676901
Loved reading this anon thanks for the laugh

>>21677299
What keepsake? Do you talk to them? I take walks in beach too, but I'm pretty sure we are oceans apart, but I hope one day we meet

In the story Hercules puts pillars down on the westernmost part of Libya then crosses the ocean to the island of Erytheia where he camps on the Atlas mountains then crosses the ocean again but this time ends up in Spain. The missing ocean is south of the Gulf of Gabes, flooding the area on a heightmap reveals pillars on the east side protecting the relatively narrow entrance to the inland sea, as described by Plato.
Looking at this stuff there's a general theme in the errors in accepted opinions, the error is assuming late ancient Greeks as a reliable authority for the worldview of early Greeks. Late Greeks had these stories all mapped out but the map is wrong because the shape of the geography changed considerably. We know that now but no academic types knew that between like 500 BC and 2006 AD.

>>21677979
i'm busy cutting everyone off. i've done so online. i need to alienate a couple of friends that check in on me. then i need to have a big fight with family and leave. that should mean nobody will look for me.

>>21678352
Seek help

I rarely communicate. Even calling my parents once a month or emailing sometime is difficult. I don't even know why, I just feel like I have to force myself to talk about mundane shit like how work is going or whatever. As a result others rarely communicate with me, making me less likely to bother.
I don't think I'm a particularly cold person. I just can't seem to figure out how to connect with people quite right.

>>21678352
You have such an irrational strategy. Whether I'm killed by feds or myself I'm gonna do it alone and without these crazy charades.
You just sound like you desperately want help and what you're writing at this moment is that desperate plea for help, but you don't have the emotional maturity to decide whether you want to ask for help or go through with your plans.

>>21678368
last time i got busted because i told someone on fucking discord i was going ack myself. i bottled out before that but still had to deal with the popo. i want to ensure nobody is around, nobody is looking for me.

The sheer lonliness. Plaguing me my whole life. Never was I welcome, nor ever did I fit in anywhere. Not my family. I was a reject before I was born until the day I moved out. Outside of famiy I never belonged anywhere either. Up until my 23rd year, I was blessed with a second family for six months. A short time, but one that is deeply rooted within me. During and after these six months I knew I will never have it again. It was a once in a lifetime happening. I tried to recapture and recreate that with other people, but who am I to force the Hand of God?

Now, in [country redacted]. A few friends, but I do not have my own circle. The people are not as welcoming in a big city and moreso when you do not speak their native tongue. You will always be the eternal outsider. How long until the suffering is over? I don‘t get my foot in-between anywhere. Among my „own people“, meaning Catholics, I am hated and ostracized, who are a bunch of faggots. Nonetheless does it sting to feel their intense hatred towards me.

>>21678459
Even among non-Catholics I am ostracized. A couple years ago I thought I could bear the sheer weight of it but I cannot. I cannot find an answer why I am so hated by almost everybody. It would be a comfort to tell myself because I am saintly and they are not, but I am not delusional to call myself a saint or somebody with saintly qualities. I know what constitutes virtue, and try to act by it, yet I have an abysmal opinion of myself. I should not, yet I have. For most of my life do I have it. Can I tell that anybody? Of course not. Not even the priest I am supposed to trust can't stand me.

Maybe I am not warm and sociable enough for these people. But how can I when I am slandered, insulted and disrespected left and right? I put up my barriers and do not trust anybody at this point. Even though the people here have been good to me more often than not, I cannot to afford more disappointment in others and moreso myself.

Will things change when I know the language? Likely. Will I endure or will my soul be crushed before I even manage? I do not want to answer.

>>21673720
Oldfag here. In process of writing first novel.

No other piece of writing advice has guided me more than these two /lit/ posts from 2019
>>14087485
>>13822615

God bless ya retards

>>21678390
why is it irrational? i want nobody to look until it's much too late.

>>21673720
Don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Same old whining like everyone else in this god forsaken place.
I'm a 22 year old loser without friends. I spend my days listlessly browsing on /lit/ and playing videogames. Can't remember the last time I left my parents' house or interacted with someone besides my parents. This lifestyle doesn't satisfy me but at this point I don't know how to relate to another person my age, let alone anyone. Even if I managed to connect to someone, if they knew how I lived they would be so disgusted they'd probably break contact.
No employable skills (the only jobs I've worked are crap food service jobs ).
I'm starting some short term seasonal job soon because it was the only place that accepted me after spending two months applying to random places. The pay comes down to $10/hr. I've some savings (13k liquid, 13k invested) but nothing that will last me long. The future feels hopeless to me. I need some kind of plan. I need to change but I won't.
I'm living like a parasite off my parents the past two years finishing my meme B.A degree.
After COVID hit everything went remote. Was already socially isolated and had no friends, but somehow managed to become even more isolated.
I wish I had used my time in college wisely. Now I really just don't know. I'm neither manly enough to fit in well in a blue collar environment, nor faggy enough to fit in at uni or get a job in something white collar.
I've never fit in anywhere.
At this point I've no long term plan so maybe I'll just join the military after this work is over.

>>21678498
The best advice I have for a 22 yo:
>Stop whining
>Do the best thing you can in your present situation

>>21678484
Links don't work?

>>21674462
Ok

>>21678529
I guess it's in warosu

>>21678498
When I honestly examine my life, the issue is that I am extremely sheltered. I've seen so little of the real world that I am like a child.
A coworker told me I was sheltered when I told her that at twenty years old I had never been outside my city alone. She was right. I'm too cautious for a young person, so reserved and unable to break out of my shell. In high school I was practically a ghost, almost mute. Even back then I somehow knew my life was on a bad track. I've always had an extreme sense of self-disgust combined sometimes with a narcissistic personality to cope with the fact that I have always been an outsider. I'm probably similar to the avg litizen in that regard, like a real life Raskolnikov. Mediocre loser with occasional delusions of grandeur.
Hiding behind words here where it's easy to write and share. When in real life I'm a mediocre soft spoken insect.
I can't complain that my parents support me so well, but it's made me too comfortable and unwilling to take risks. They coddle me so much, and the result was that I was not prepared for the real world.

>>21678522
I don't really know what's best for me, hence the whining. I've no social contacts.
If I don't change my lifestyle dramatically soon, then there is no future for me.

>all the classes I have to teach next week start at 8 am
God fucking damn it. Just god fucking damn it.

>>21678529
From 2019 anon
Here I posted it here from warosu

In response to >>13821326:
>From a critical point of view, what makes Hamlet a great play?

Anon in >>13822615 responded with:
>The unknown pervades it. It is above comprehensive analyses like any truly great work of art.

&

In response to >>14087286:
>How long does it take to write a masterpiece novel?

Anon in >>14087485 responded with:
>Most masterpieces are a mixture of technical wordsmithing talent, imagination, life experience, and the culmination of a long history of ideas. If you don't have the talent or imagination, no amount of time will aid you in writing a masterpiece novel. On the other hand, if you do have talent, then it depends on how much time you've spent digesting the ideas of the greats, and how much life experience you've acquired, so that you can synthesize them into something new.

>>21678484
If you consciously aim for making a "masterpiece" you're never going to.

new
First one in wins free money!

>>21678569
>>21678569

>>21678569
>>21678569

>>21678552
Okay, I'll help you out. Answer me 3 questions.

1. Do you want social contacts of any kind (close friend, gfs, etc.)?
2. What person, if any, do you most admire and/or desire to be?
3. How would you like your 25yo self to spend his time? What work and activities give him joy?

>>21678572
The breakdown of what goes into potentially making a "masterpiece" is the thing of value there

>>21678585
1. It's entirely hypothetical to me. Can't say I definitively want something I've never experienced, since the wanting is only due to the lack of experience making me feel subhuman. Having a gf is beyond possible for me given my situation, but maybe just one friend. Someone to share my thoughts with.
2. I don't know. I've never felt any kind of attachment or relation to any figure. There are authors I enjoy like Kafka and Borges for example.
Most often I really am tired of the world and wish I could be some kind of hermit totally detached from the world, but this is just a cope due to always feeling rejected.
3. Some kind of intellectual work maybe. Nothing gives me joy, except when I get caught up in exploring an interesting idea that distracts me from my mediocre life. I can very much absorb myself in ideas and have a good memory such that I've absorbed a lot of knowledge about random subjects, but it's just basically escapism. I never feel a strong sense of attachment to any idea, it's just a diversion. That diversion has lost its hold on me as I've grown older and realized it was just a way to escape from myself.
I only feel joy when I'm actively learning something new to give me a sense of some progress. In my freetime I like to feed my writing into Nightcafe. I had been also trying to learn Latin, though I've fallen out of the habit recently.

>>21678696
You are a man in need of connection, progress, and a meaningful way to spend your life. Those are all achievable.

For connection, I recommend going out to book events or book lectures or even community college. Put yourself in places where you'd likely to meet people of your interest.
Two rules here:
1) if you suspect that you enjoy someones company, ask them if they want to watch a movie or get drinks or coffee together, and then shoot the shit. Some will say no but that doesn't matter. Just do what I said.
2) If someone, anyone, invites you to something reasonable like party or a meal or whatever, just say yes. I don't give a shit about your opinion. Just stfu and go.

For progress, keep writing, keep reading, keep studying, all good things. Follow your interest and see if there is some way to make money off of it, be it writing or working in publishing or academia. I'd even suggest physical activity to aid your sense of progress. Do cardio, lift weights. Great for your body and brain. The greatest moments of clarity come when you're in the middle of a 5 mile run.

For the meaningful way to spend your life, I think you should join academia or writing. If so or if not, work towards reorganizing your life in such a way that you can freely enjoy any meaningful activities during your day. Try different things and see what works and then continue with what works. If independence and money is your goal, consider higher education in business or STEm degrees.

Chill out, go for a calming walk everyday, and do things that fill you with a sense of agency. You have a bright path ahead. You're gonna make it, anon.

>>21678859
Thank you, I appreciate your reasonable advice. Reading your post I realize this site has been poisoning my mind. You're right I just need to do something, anything active, get off this site, and get out more.
I'll do this job it's a 6 month contract, and then maybe I will go back to school. I really do need money. I'd like to study something like history, but think given my lack of money maybe I should try something in STEM.

>>21679059
Different anon here. I was in your boat when I was 22. I did basically what the anon reccomended you do. It took a while for me to get momentum but Im much better off now. I'm graduating community college and I'm going to a university. I finally have hope again. Work on tangible goals like education and always say yes to opportunity. I still struggle socially but I'm improving in that area. Gettinf a job where I'm forced to interact with people has helped a lot. 22 is young. You still have a load of time.