/lit/ - Literature

To answer the guy in the other thread, woke HP is a stupid idea since it's been done a million times over.

Im keeping with the two posts a week schedule, so not to spam people with nonsense.
Hope people like it.

> micz.substack.com/p/living-room

>>21657044
Oh, also here is some older work:

P1
> micz.substack.com/p/chalk-vandals
P2
> micz.substack.com/p/teachers-pet

I've just finished editing the last chapter of my book. Going to take a light rest, as I'm so tired I can't see the flaws anymore.

I'm thinking publishing is going to go the way of movies and comedy specials and virtually everything else nowadays. Where they will attempt to build up their own distribution networks that buy up whatever garbage there is.
Already they're making most of their profits from a handful of TikTok books and writing off the rest. But this logic it makes sense to just buy up anything and throw it out there hoping it will sell.
And Having read through some of the contracts I really don't see the point of authors going the traditional publishing route. Unless you already have a big name and need the advance.

>>21657130
You don't like that everything sucks? Stop worrying about what sells and write something good.
The reason everything sucks is because everyone's trying to sell shit, but no one's trying to make something good.
Who cares what trad publishers are doing. We have the internet. We have /wg/. Write something good and post it here and for the love of God stop prioritizing sales over art. That's how you drown in a shit soup of money-grubber slop.

>>21657020
>Short story got rejected
>Only feedback from the magazine was that "although it wasn't a winner or honourable mention I enjoyed reading it"
What am I supposed to do with that?

>>21657150
What good is art if no one looks at it?

>>21657199
You work, wage, and live for the sake of the market
Stop being selfish and making "art" that no one will see and choose a market trend to follow. Get on your girlboss hours and spend all your free time promoting on social media and making your own business from home

>>21657044
That's excellent anon.
It's both jaunty and melancholy and I really liked it.

What would you guys write about out of this list?
looking for what mental health problem I have to write about

Bipolar disorder
schizophrenia
anorexia
or
autism.

(You may pick more then one)

>>21657187
Try again...maybe the next one will make it.
The fact that you got feedback at all means your story was an outlier.

>>21657306
Having sex

>>21657020
>'Whatever The Fuck This Is'
IT'S THE SPACE KOOK!

>>21657306
how confident are you in depicting any of these in a realistic way?

>>21657199
What good is anything that was made for the express purpose of getting as many dunces to look at it as possible?

>>21657336
I have the illnesses listed. I'm pretty sure I can write it well and realstic

>>21657199
the point of art is creating it, not seeing it.

>>21657345
alright, then write about schizophrenia

>>21657306
Autism, because autism is funny

>>21657044
>>21657048

How is substack as a platform, any discoverablility?
Good work otherwise.

>>21657346
Is it really art if it disappears?

>>21657306
Narcissism. Because that's the only bullshit you have.

>>21657437
It true anon! everyone says it! (This isn't a joke)

>>21657423
yes.

>>21657199
Good art

>>21657368
Not him, but for Tooky's it has not been terrible. A little over 40% of our subs came through Substack features like leaderboard, recommendations, and promotions according to their metrics. Maybe 10% of that was from another substack (shout out to /Unreal/) recommending us. I hope more emerging Substacks can swap recommends as it's a powerful buy unintrusive tool.

I think you need additional outreach to really grow though which is why we mess around with Youtube and Twitter - YouTube seems best for drawing in randos.

Read, listen, and submit to Tooky's:
https://tookys.substack.com/p/the-sultan-of-sydney-university

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GlNtSjRGMmU&t

I'm noticing so many plotholes and unexplained shit that the thought of editing is already giving me shivers. It's the first time I venture at a novel. Short stories are a lot easier.

I can't decide on a single idea aaaaaaaa

>>21657968
Ask a question that you want to know about.

>>21657968
What are your ideas?

How do I make better dialogue? I'm a trash tier pos when it comes to dialogue apparently because even when reading it out it still sounds stilted when others read it.

>>21658022
I write it like a mix between how people talk and how people write on WhatsApp. Unless it's a specific character. There's one in this story I'm writing who speaks like a /pol/ user, so he tries to use high language and strong metaphors (and he ends up sounding silly to others around him). What exactly is your problem?

>>21657368
It's perfectly fine as a publishing platform, though they've got plenty of things to improve, such as: analytics. fonts, formatting and the like .
Discoverability is a a dud though. They claim something like 40% of subscribers will discover you through the platform, though so far 91% of my readers were directly linked though here and a few Subreddits, Discords and Telegerams i frequent.
Still it's been rather nice to have a place of one's own.


>>21657895
O hey! you liked my Chalk Vandals poem. Hope things going well. Didn't realize you had a whole magazine going.

>>21658082
Can you post in other languages as well? I'm not very proud of my English writing

>>21658107
Yeah, i've got some Italian translations in the works and the mock-ups looked fine, though again the formatting is an issue. I wanted to have the text in parallel, and thats kinda tough to do.

I didn’t win the RR writing contest :/

>>21658166
You submitted something, put your name out there and faced the consequences - that's more than most here have ever done. I'm proud of you, anon.

>>21657306
I would read about a game dev who slowly develops those while finding success and fame.

>>21657895
Fucking based Woolston story! When did this come out? I had no idea, i see him shilling his shit and it turned me off to be honest but i'll check it out now, that story was great.

>>21658213
Thank you for the encouragement

>>21658166
RR has contests?

Anons, tell me what do you think about those:
1. Switching between protagonist first person view and side character third limited between chapters.
2. Explaining something, that most readers can't imagine and are left wondering what the hell could that be. Like Lovecraft, I mean.
3. Including a fictional literary work, which is shown through excerpts in the real work. For example two characters are discussing a book and they read a paragraph. Just assume it's relevant to the plot.

tfw published 5 times in the last 2 months
tfw getting responses from editors praising me
tfw spent the last 15 years getting here
tfw it's actually happening this time
tfw I'm actually going to make it
never give up

>finish a really solid first act where everyone is horrible to the protagonist
>now have to write a second act where he meets different people who are nicer to him
>immediately get stuck
I didn't expect the fun part to be the hard part

>>21658533
I like the third one, even tho I don't see how they are all mutually exclusive. Houellebecq did that fictional literary work a couple of times and Borges did it too, it's pretty fun.

The

>>21658550
Good job, anon! How old are you and what do you write about?

>>21658596
I'm not really asking to choose. Just want to know someone's opinion before making mistakes in the crucial process of outlining. I'm probably going to do 3, forget about 1 and maybe try 2.

Why are modern YA novels so derided? How would you write a good YA/children's book?

>>21658601
he writes fan-fiction for writers

>>21657423
dance and music disappear as soon as they happen

>>21658730
But those things are viewed. Not many people will finish a novel, especially by a literal who.

Asking again because old thread died
I was getting tired of making up creation myths that just mirror whatever can be found in various peoples around the real world and got into emanationism. So far I tried getting into the gnostic emanations of neo-platonism and the Kabbalah. What are some other examples or resources on the issue?
I specifically was thinking about mirroring the process of thinking in emanation i.e. every step of thought having its own emanation and the further derived deities emanating from the interactions of those.

>>21657044
Hey anon, a few questions of you don't mind.

1) how long does it take you to write a poem?
2) do you write from life or from your imagination?
3) do you make up stanzas or copy them from elsewhere?
4) do you have any training, such as private schooling ?
5) what poets do you recommend for an aspiring poet?

Cheers.

>>21658780
This is not writing

>>21657187
What magazine?

>>21658615
Good luck pleasing the terminally depressed pseuds here with anything juvenile and enjoyable.

Was

>>21658845
I'm a terminally depressed pseud and I love juvenile and enjoyable.

>>21658845
>>21658853
*if it's absurdist comedy juvenile, not boring gay shit written by a retard juvenile

R8 my shitty creative writing channel. Getting some decent traction in one video.

https://youtu.be/q5e8VJEOM8w
https://youtu.be/ae8Yxo8-jSM

D U B S decides my next topic.

>>21658615
Because the genre is filled with first time writers chasing trends.

what do we think of amazon vella

>>21658823
how do you write without researching and exploring a literary basis?

>>21658876
yeah yeah we know you can't enjoy things unless it's submerged in irony
real intellectuals don't kill their cringe they kill the part that cringes

>>21658968
kek
no, there's just a massive difference between child-like play and being an actual retard

>>21658979
examples of both?
inb4 you make excuses

>>21658983
The Story of the Eye
A Confederacy of Dunces
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C78HBp-Youk
People who are actually smart/talented who aren't afraid of being crass/juvenile/child-like
>being an actual retard
Go to any fanfic site.

>>21658979
But I hope my YA fantasy story will get even 10 sales...

>>21659015
Follow the conversation next time we were discussing modern YA

>>21659078
Same rules apply.

>>21657020
I’m working on a system where magic is based on the elements, and I need some help. The idea is that at lower levels it’s just flinging the elements around a bit like bending from Avatar, but at higher ones it gets more conceptual and flexible. I’m thinking that at archmage levels they’ll be able to manipulate forces like time and space using their respective elemental forces. The thing is, I’m having trouble thinking of ways that the elements could actually do those things. If anyone has any ideas, it would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

>>21657199
ever heard of henry Darger? Whatever anyone thinks of his content or technical skills as an artist or writer, or whether he had mental problems or not, but no one can deny that he was the ideal creative: extremely prolific, invested in his work, loved his characters and stories, and worked on them tirelessly until the day he died without ever sharing it with anyone.

>>21659104
I accept your concession

>>21659124
That's okay. I know how much you needed it.

>>21659135
Happy to help a pseud

>>21659108
An element needs to be separated or purified into a more subtle particle like aether. You get to a 'higher' level alongside distilling that subtle element from a common element.

>>21659108
how far have you gotten in the story?

Can someone give me a quick critique? I feel like I'm treating the reader like an idiot by directly stating what the villain wants. She already thought it out, but a few sentence later it repeats itself and confirms it. It feels pointless to do it, but I'm also scared the reader will get too confused and lost

Is the repetition of what the villain wants bad? She thinks it already, but a few lines down the narrator confirms what she's thinking. It feels pointless with the repetition, but I'm also too afraid the reader will be too stupid to figure it out themselves.

Do I take it out?

>>21659382
Take it out, it's insulting.

>>21659382
>but I'm also too afraid the reader will be too stupid to figure it out themselves
You're ironically making yourself/your character look like an idiot by having it there.

>>21658615
YA and Children's books are not even adjacent categories. YA always includes romance and is marketed at women ages 13 to 99. Children's is for kids learning to read. Middle Grade is probably what you're looking for. It's the hardest genre to write because you have to be funny every couple of sentences while sticking tightly to an exciting plot with no sexual tension. Also, no authors online will discuss it with you. However, if you do write it, it's actually a fairly high-demand genre. Good luck

>>21659108
Reddit moment

how do you deal with retards calling literature predictive programming whenever it gets something right?

>>21659109
Just read his wiki. What a sad and miserable life

>>21659382
I don't see the point in having some of her thoughts be quoted and some be narrated. You could just scrap the internal thought quotes.

i'm tired of agents not giving me feedback. i'm writing a novel-length fanfiction in my professional style, and will post it and see what feedback i get on the writing quality.

I'm at 40,000 words in just 10 days because it's easy as cake to write when the characters and setting are already established for you. So it's not even going to "waste my time" of more than a month.

find a flaw. you cannot. i will be acknowledged.

>>21659581
post (1) one chapter (of easy to read length)

>>21657020
What is the most important thing to remember when writing a romance scene in a story, especially if romance isn't the main focus of the story as a whole? What about creating Love deities?

>>21659594
The feet for sure

>>21657020
"Hail Storm" The local thirteen year old retard screamed from the sides of the outdoor school basketball court.

Rej, the eigth grade bad boy stopped the game by holding the ball. "It's blue skies, Ree. Go put your helmet back on." The boys laughed together but Ree the retard as the school kids called him paid no attention.
"HAIL STORM!" He screamed even louder, "HAIL! ... STORM!" Holding his hands up to the sky like a witchdoctor pleading to the Gods.
"Just ignore him" Rej says to the boys before the game continues.
Stevie, the class nerd pauses under the basket holding his face beside his eye, "ow, what the fuck!" His cracking voice stops the game.
"What's up?" Says Jay, the token African American Black bull.
"My fuckin' eye!"
Rej walks over from far court curious at what happened to Stevie, but pauses halfcourt when a small rock smacks his forehead, " what the fuck!"
The boys all stop and slowly look over to Ree. His head tilted forward, clasping gravel in both hands, eyes peering towards the other boys like a wolf stalking its prey.
"Ree... wha?" Rej says trying to settle the beast.

Reee slowly raises his hands shaking from gripping them so tightly. His neck tenses up revealing tendons and pumping veins. His eyes widen, eyebrows furrowed. A thick vein appears by his temple. He bites his teeth together making a gritty clamping sounds. He takes a deep breath in through his nostrils....... "HAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLL STOOOOOOORMMMMMM!"
Ree begins tossing handfuls of rocks into the air over the boys sending them fleeing into the tree line by the court. The slutty girls sitting courtside begin to flee, screaming as they run.
The sound of the rocks hitting the pavement cease. The court emptied except for the orange basketball slowly rolling to a stop. The boys hiding in the trees peer through the thick branches, breathing heavily. Ree explodes in ecstacy and laughter. He jumps up in excitement before running towards the basketball and booting it across the court and into the thickly dense field of thorns. He woos in retarded satisfaction, spinning in circles before running away towards the school.
Rej steps out of the trees followed by the other boys... "He is the most retarded retard..."

>>21659588
not edited

>>21659643
you gotta edit it otherwise any critique I give will be useless by the end

>>21659674
it's alright enough. sorry, go ahead.

>>21659643
I believe fanfiction is banned on /lit/

>>21659581
the problem with fanfic is that building characters and environments is a skill unto itself (what to keep what to throwaway)
you're dulling yourself by only doing fanfics

>>21659172
how far? that's not the correct way of thinking about it. story? characters? plot? dialogue? a wish fulfillment fantasy has no need for such mundane trivialities.

>>21659763
i've written three novels prior to this
>>21659724
it's as a writing exercise, not serious

>>21659724
It isn't, and religious debates are and don't get deleted anyhow

>>21659763
He seemed aware of that

>>21659581
The flaw is in thinking you need any feedback beyond getting an acceptance or a rejection
Writing group feedback is a fucking joke, agents don't give substantial feedback to the nobodies they reject
Feedback on a fanfic will come from people you probably don't respect anyways, so what do you need it for?
Write a book, if it doesn't get published, do the critical thinking for yourself about why that happened

Would anyone be willing to critique my short story?
>rip-off of Haruki Murakami
>tl;dr a schoolgirl shoots a policeman

https://pastebin.com/2Ddt68wU

>>21659643
Way too much description of timing. Almost every sentence has a participle phrase or multiple things happening at once. Do a search for 'as it' 'as she' and 'as the' and see what you get.

Unless it's necessary for the meaning, don't bother with that stuff. It just leads to timing errors and misattributed participles. Just write plain sentences in the past tense. Weed out all the pause, resume, begin, start, stop, before, after, later, previously, etc.

>>21659974
ah, shit. thanks for pointing that out.

>>21659905
Odd and mildly amusing.

>>21659905
POWER!

>>21659905
Good

Managed to sell two copies of my first book today, lads. Feels gur.

>>21659152
That's not at what I was thinking of at all. Like for instance, with Fire a beginner can just slug fire around, but at a bit higher skill they can manipulate its properties a bit, like making flame produce more light than heat, or vice versa.

>>21660134
What's your secret?

>>21657332
>ZOINKS!

>>21660151
cool cool
so what exactly is the mc's motivation?

>>21659643
Post .odt file

i like writing fanfiction

>It's an author spoils their own plot so they don't lose followers chapter.
The absolute state of 'writers' today.

>>21660255
>>It's an author spoils their own plot so they don't lose followers chapter.
go on? Who is this?

>>21657306
I already have covered all that stuff in my second book so far.
It's LIT-RPG though so you will never read it.
>Topics to coom:
Rape
Survivors guilt
Ptsd
Mercy killing
Drug addiction

>>21660255
I'm fine with it if the summary is blatant about what happens.

>>21658581
That's because story structure is goal-conflict-disaster.
Without the disaster, it gets boring.

I made way too many typos in the last story I wrote. I even showed it to people but no one brought it up (or didn't notice). The execution was bad overall and the beta readers didn't pick up on the last twist because I probably glossed over it. It sucks to feel good about a work when you are in that headspace until weeks pass and you find bare reality again.

>Wizard takes a farmboy as an apprentice
>Educates him, slowly teaches him magic
>Is actually training him to be an assassin
I swear to fucking god this is a normal story. Why does it feel so goddamn gay?

>>21660360
Grooming.

>>21660360
>why does my story about grooming feel weirdly perverse
Gee anon

>>21658616
>>21658823
>>21658845
>>21658979
>>21659015
>>21659124
>>21659145
>>21659634
seethe

>>21660255
readers like foreshadowing. makes em feel smart when things happen like they thought they would

>>21657306
Autist gets isekai’d, ends up leaving the parallel fantasy world a gigantic incomprehensible webscape of trains and train stations

>>21660460
kek

Is pic related cheating

>>21660513
No. But ChatGPT is going to destroy any new literary masterpieces.

>>21660528
what do you mean

>>21660513
You're robbing yourself of the pride of accomplishment, which is 90% of why art is fulfilling.
It's not necessarily that you 'shouldn't' - it's that you shouldn't want to.
>Is pic related cheating
Also the fact that you're asking means that you think it is and if you use it it will haunt you.

>>21659643
>fanfiction
Maybe...
>original piece main characters fanfiction
NGMI

Country roads, take me home. To the place, I belong!

>>21660513
Maybe if you unthinkingly run all your text through the ai. But if you use it to see synonyms and alternate ways to phrase things, then it's just another tool. Better would be outputting from a dozen authors simultaneously to compare their voices.

>reddit has tons of traditionally published authors from the big 5
How do they do it?

>>21660648
Reddit is just a normal and popular website with rather strict moderation, so it’s a safe choice; it also allows better discussion (however shit compared to here) than Twitter, which is where most published authors shill their work. More published authors would post here but /lit/ kinda died (it was never a big board) and most normies associate all of 4chan with right wing terrorism since 2015 or so.

>>21660687
Twitter is most worthless site to shill any books. 1000s of spam, and not a single book sale

>>21660687
What I want to know is their writing. None of them ever posts their story, but I'm guessing it's due to publishing contracts, but I still want to know how much better their writing is compared to mine

>>21660725
You need to know your own market and community, but I agree that it’s mostly spam. Best thing to do on Twitter is make an e celeb personality that makes semi viral jokes in your sphere but I’d never do it.

>>21658466
A contest with the grand prize of PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP on the website and a handful of free ads that everyone blocks (which must be used for the winning contest work, not any work that actually needs boosting).

>>21658897
I took a look at their catalogue once and all I saw was romance, gay romance, and supernatural romance.

>>21661141
Yes I was thinking that it might be a good place for fantasy, but I also saw that and I might reconsider
the monthly bonus looks tempting though

I started writing and drawing a manga series even though I failed a creative writing class back in high school, haven't drawn anything in over a decade, and have only read a few manga series

>>21661212
Then start reading. Classes won’t help you too much anyway, since they’re usually ran by people who can’t do it in the first place and who get pleasure and money forcing kids to do things they don’t understand yet.

Writing a book where the MC is basically elected dictator (think Russian style), but practically grants himself Kingship thanks to both internal government politics and his awesome psycho-kinetic powers. Hes sort of like Rasputin mixed with King Richard and Hitler.
Also its the apocalypse and everyone of his race is going to die and its his job to figure out contingency in the face of an existential threat.
Theyre also not humans.

Does that sound cool or is that too convoluted for a reader to understand?

>>21658822

Sure

> 1) how long does it take you to write a poem?
This may be a little unhelpful but anything from a few hours to multiple months. As some ideas come fully formed while others take weeks of writing and editing. For example the Living Room poem was entirely rewritten three times over as i was struggling with getting the most out of the Burns Stanza, with the Word document spanning something over 100 pages — though most of it is just copy pasting with minor alternations. Other poems i've written in a day.

> 2) do you write from life or from your imagination?
Both. Whoever I like the quotidian, diary format where, even if not exactly accurate, the poems stand as impressions of the various goings on around me.

> 3) do you make up stanzas or copy them from elsewhere?
Again, both. I have however copied a lot of stanzas from the likes of Hardy and Auden. I also read a lot of the Minor, and more experimental, 20'th century poets. Looking at bad or even incomplete or abandoned poems can give you a sense what it is the author did wrong. Hardy is excellent for that, as he wrote a lot and not all of it successful.

> 4) do you have any training, such as private schooling ?
Sorry, thats more then im willing to reveal at the moment.

> 5) what poets do you recommend for an aspiring poet?

I can absolutely throw some names at you, but keep in mind this is something you need to discover for yourself. Taste being what it is.
However here are some older names, the newer poets you will no doubt discover for yourself:

Chaucer – for the humor
Shakespeare – for the breadth of vision
John Ford – for the voice
Herrick – for the girls
Donne – for sheer talent
Herbert – to see just how little one needs
Marvell – for the utter joy of it
Milton – as an antidote
The Earl of Rochester – so you don't get the wrong impression
Blake – for the hooks he will get into you
Byron – for the love of life
Pope – for his complete perfection
Swift – for the jokes and coprophilia
Gray – for that melancholy tone
Smart – as as counterweight to Blake
Gay – for the cleanliness
Tennyson – to see what verse ones was
Browning – to see what it can be
Hardy – for verity
Housman – for a classic view
Yeats – for the progression
Frost – as a doorway to the new world

Good luck.

>>21661244
>I must include as much shit as possible spaced out over as much of the page as I can or else nobody will read my post and see how smart I am

>>21661252

>>21661255
This may be the smuggest image I have ever seen.

>>21660513
You're cheating yourself out of being able to come up with passable prose on your own. Pic related isn't particularly amazing or anything. Apply yourself and stop relying on external sources. What even is the point of writing if you're just getting a machine to ghost write mediocre prose for you?

>>21661242
Sounds amazing actually.

To avoid it being convoluted you could keep it small by having the entire novel take place in the dictator's office. And as a reader you learn about the world outside only through the people visiting him there. And these people are of course totally kissing his ass and very afraid of him, and possibly even under his psycho-kinetic spell, so their reports are very unreliable.

I personally wouldn't make them non-human.

>>21660513
It's impossible to tell which is by AI. Both are nonsense

>>21660687
>normies associate all of 4chan with right wing terrorism since 2015 or so.
I feel like the average person thinks that 4chan is just /b/ and /pol/, ignoring the fact that most of the boards are small communities of people discussing normal hobbies, which is a shame

How do I deal with movement in first person writing, it always seems so retarded and stumpy?
Side note but what do Anons recommend for a deep, personal kinda story with a lot of thoughts and biased opinions, First person or Third person limited?

just wrote a thousand words over the last four hours lads

>>21661554
send it

>>21661561
the chapter isn't done yet, i need to hit 5k by friday and then i'll post it on my page

What kind of language do you think is appropriate for a creation myth? Specifically for one more abstract and less like "Thomas the creator took a seed and put it in the ground."

>>21661626
epic style I'd say, like Le Morte d'Arthur

>>21661363
Your reading comp is low

>>21660647
That was a good idea lol
>>21660547
>>21661349
I think others will but I agree with >>21660647 that it is just be a tool. I still give it the ideas

>>21659109
love this guy
he's my hero

>>21659531
no u

>>21660360
too many penises

>>21661700
kinda mesmerizing in a hazy post-modern way

>>21661873
It's fun to see. What other authors would be to good to try

I'm trying to figure out the story by starting with characters. I find one flaw in this method: to expand and show one main character I need to add at least 3 side characters. So, basically 4x3 = 12 additional unique characters. Plus 2-3 essential additional characters. At this point a novella turns into a full blown novel and a lit of characters can be forgettable. How many chatacters is too many?

>>21662390
>to expand and show one main character I need to add at least 3 side characters
Why?

>>21662399
Because it is impossible with interactions between main characters. For example, none of them are religious, but my story requres religion to be a theme. None of them pose a threat or appear misterious or can cause a red herring to occur.

>>21662390
well a side character can be in and out in one paragraph, you don't need to devote 50 pages to them especially if it doesn't matter to the story

>>21662414
>For example, none of them are religious, but my story requres religion to be a theme.
If religion is not a topic that would come up in your protagonist's life (forget the idea of "main characters" and just focus on your protagonist at this stage) and you want your story to be about religion, your story is doomed to be unengaging before a word goes on the page

>>21662508
I can't show all three viewpoints in one protagonist. That would just be silly.
>you want your story to be about religion, your story is doomed to be unengaging before a word goes on the page
Why do you think so? When did religious topics become obsolete? A huge part of literature touches religion.

>>21662508
You dumb as fuck lmao

>>21662565
>multiple protagonists
NGMI

>>21662635
>retarded
Definitely NGMI

>>21662658
You think that the abstract qualities of a a story such as the themes need to be literally represented by the protagonist
And you're intimidated by multiple protagonists. Have you read a book before?
Why would you give advice when you're so clearly ignorant of basic shit

>>21660513
what do you even think you're accomplishing with this lol? can't you swap out "free" for "unrestrained" yourself? what does any of it have to do with hemingway? if you can't do prose stylisation how are you going to evaluate the outputs? this shit is for total retards.

>>21662658
>>multiple protagonists
I have one protagonist, three non-protagonist side characters. There is a type of structure in fiction where backstories of side characters are told to the POV by the character. Two nested narratives are too much, but I can keep it as deep as just one and keep it short. If you didn't know, a lot of novels are written like this.

>>21661700
>>21661924
There has to be a placebo effect going on. Because it says that it will write something Tolkien would write, we just assume that this style is accurate. Nonetheless, it's a good tool to restructure sentences, and find synonyms.

>>21662673
Most books don't have multiple protagonists, you only think they do because you don't know the difference between a main character and a protagonist
At the planning stage, if you think you have multiple protagonists, you are almost definitely wrong and will end up having no protagonist
If you aren't writing Romeo and Juliet, and you aren't, don't be a retard, figure out which character matters and focus yourself

>>21662780
What does any of it matter to the protagonist in your story then, why are they the one we're experiencing these stories through
That's the only question you should be asking regarding side characters if you're so early on you're still trying to figure out how to clumsily cram a theme and a character together

For you bilingual writers, do you write the text first in your native language and then adapt it? Or do you prefer to re-write it using the original as basis?
What is your method for writing in different languages?
I have a hard time trying to write something in spanish and then adapting it in english, it is quite hard to keep track of two different grammar rules at the same time. The result is kinda workable, and I try to use tools like grammarly every now and then to give me an aid and avoid headaches, but lord it just feels off. So advise would be appreciated.

>>21662414
>Because it is impossible with interactions between main characters
this is nonsense on its face
>For example, none of them are religious but my story requres religion to be a theme
every pov character is irreligious when the story focuses on religion as a theme? don't do that
>None of them pose a threat or appear misterious or can cause a red herring to occur.
so they're all boring, empty vessels. who'd want to read this? why would you want to do this?
Back up a step and flesh out your characters a little more.

should i quit my job to focus on editing my book? I'm on the third draft of it but realizing it needs some large developmental edits and probably a full-scale rewrite. for context my job is very writing/editing heavy and completely drains my energy -- it is also very heavily monitored so I can't work on my book during the work day. I have tried to work on writing on the side for years, but I feel like I am just giving all of my energy to other people and don't have anything left for my own projects, and at the rate that I've been going I don't think I would ever be able to get anything published in my lifetime

>>21662833
>What does any of it matter to the protagonist in your story then, why are they the one we're experiencing these stories through
Because he learns on the mistakes of others so he gets to the end.
>>21662892
>this is nonsense on its face
Why so? If there are scenes in which characters should experience something important, then there should be characters to interact with.
>don't do that
Why? The story assumes an atheistic view due to the genre. Religiocity just can't be a part of the character.
>Back up a step and flesh out your characters a little more.
That is what I'm trying to do through the story and I need to create an environment for it.

>>21662967
Can you afford to quit your job?

>>21663007
Yeah I have some savings / cushion to temporarily not be working

>>21663046
Do you think you could find work in your area once you need it?
Could you afford to move if you had to?
Seems like a bad idea to me but if you're confident fuck, it's your life

>>21663057
I feel like I could find work again once I needed it and worst case scenario I could move in with my parents again if I couldn't find work. yeah I can't make up my mind about it. I might feel one way when I wake up then completely the opposite when I go to bed. I just was calculating how long it would take me to edit my book if I did it on the side it just feels like it will take soo long man.. I just don't know .

>>21662984
>Why so? If there are scenes in which characters should experience something important, then there should be characters to interact with.
Nope. We're talking about religion. Is religion to you simply some moldy old priest dusting some icons in some forgotten chapel? That's not religion. Religious experiences should be larger than life and awe inspiring in order to prompt people into believing in higher powers. They should focus on the fundamental, unnswerable questions when it comes to being human. Birth and death, natural disasters. Big Things. A completely irreligious character can very easily have a religious experience if something out of the ordinary occurs that causes them to question what they thought they previously knew.

Has anyone read it?

>>21663407
>papyrus

>>21662967
>should i quit my job to focus on editing my book?
No

>>21663407
The minute I read it's LGBT stuff I just ignored it

>>21663407
No but I want to read more books from /lit/. Call of the Crocodile and F Gardner’s books are probably the best indie books I’ve read. There’s potential for other book book series from here and I’m keeping my eye out.

>>21662967
>quit
that's a terrible idea you stupid fucking retard. edit on the side like a big grown up boy
>b-but i'm tired
bawwwww

>>21663733
>>21663566
fine.. you fellas are probably right... can anyone throw me a bone and tell me how many hours a day i should be striving for, and what's an example schedule and deadline that worked for you?

>>21663733
People aren't made to work continuously, retard. Rest is essential for precise work. Hard work can be pushed but it is more exhausting. Are you even 18?

>>21659905
Quality work, really enjoyed the flow of the story.

>>21663698
Horror’s Call is definitely the most readable thing from here. F Gardner’s books are a mixed bag. But a lot of them are well worth the read. For pure entertainment value F Gardner really does produce the most entertaining stuff from /wg./ I’ve always been confused why Call of the Crocodile is so much more popular than all the other titles. That’s not even F Gardner’s best book. Call of the Arcade was superior in every conceivable way.

>>21663733
retarded gorilla nigger
bet you're american

>>21662879
I write my more poetic work in my native language, Portuguese. Everything else is English first. Basically native language for myself and lingua franca for a common audience.

>>21663863
>only americans are capable of both working a job and indulging in a hobby
yikes

how do you know what's good writing without going insane? It's such a clusterfuck in my brain to determine if a simple sentence is good or bad, so much so to the point where I've stopped evaluating and have just kept writing instead.
Doesn't that kind of rat race just make you mad?

>>21663919
When you read a book, can you tell if the writing is good or bad?

>>21663919
Are you F Gardner by any chance?

>>21663937
Yes. I'm forgiving though. To the point where my crit here probably isn't even that valuable.

I prefer transparent promotion to "oganic" shilling

>>21663858
>Call of the Arcade

That one was oddly homoerotic. It had the two boys who were clearly in love with each other and the villain was obviously a pedophile.

I think people put off reading F Gardner’s works here because they’re so insanely popular compared to other works from these generals. The same type of “bucket of crabs” mentality we constantly see displayed.

>>21664032
>oyy vey read my- er, F. Gardner's books, what are you a bucket crab?
You ain't slick you flat-earther fuck

>>21663963
I dunno anon, transparent promotion feels cringe. Heck, I don't even share my twitter handle here ever since that follo4follow guy

>>21663698
Reminder that F. Gardner has a hot tranny girlfriend.

Is it good to have funny moments after dramatic scenes? Ones that are in character and related to the actual subject?

>>21664203
sure if it's good
why wouldn't it be
just don't do a shit job of it

>>21661366
everyone here is on a list

>>21664218
my list of my favorite writers (:

>>21664209
I know. I just realize I've been doing that a lot lately and the scenes are super heavy. They're in character, but I'm not sure if I'm taking away rather than adding anything to it.

>>21664143
Gardnerposting is the funniest fucking thing here kek

i know this is a dumb question, but how can i better keep my momentum of writing, in the sense that once i begin writing what are some tips to keep going and have longer writing sessions?

>>21664240
cultivate discipline and focus
immerse yourself in language and story telling
idk work harder you'll get there

>>21664240
Write a page of bullshit every day in a small journal. Keeps the habit up.

>>21664203
it can work but often doesn't

>>21664203
Doesn't need to be funny, but more lighthearted would be nice. There's a scene in East of Eden where a flashback of a woman being gang raped to death is followed by going back to the present where the characters are introduced to how to operate a Ford Model T

>>21664203
Doesn't need to be funny, but more lighthearted would be nice. There's a scene in East of Eden where a flashback of a woman being gang raped to death is followed by going back to the present where the characters are introduced to how to operate a Ford Model T

>90k words written
>it's all complete utter shit
>i can't make myself delete it or rewrite it.

>>21664744
writing is 1% writing 99% editing

>>21659905
Quite good
Great character voice. The way it interplays with the narrative is fun and engaging
For having good prose you also have a grip on story telling, which is rare among writers who are comfortable with playful prose. The scenes and events are good
Your dialogue is kind of ass
>I was part of this overwhelming mediocrity too, destined to become either a career woman or a housewife, and once I died there’d only be pension slips to prove I even existed.
Love this line

One of the better pieces I've read from here. Keep it up brah, looking forward to future posts

>>21664744
post the worst part/writing you did

>>21664762
I've always thought I write slow as shit cos I keep deleting and redoing shit and moving things around, but it's not that I write slow, I edit as I go

>>21664796
I can't post all 90k words

>>21664812
You can post enough in a pastebin

>>21664812
post at (min:1000) (max:2000)

>>21664744
man I did that once, fucking deleted the whole thing and I hate myself for it because in retrospect there was a lot salvageable

>>21664815
>>21664818
https://pastebin.com/6xNXti7F

here's chapter 1

>>21660019
>>21660115
>>21660126
>>21663849
Arigato anon-samas

>>21664769
Thank you for the critique. What is it about the dialogue that's bad/any insight tips etc.

>>21664839
do you work at Jagex?

>>21664839
This actually reads like an isekai anime narrative

>>21664839
Kino

>>21664839
>There was nobody else around and being a Dark Lord, it’s only natural that I step forward and speak to a little girl all alone without any parental supervision.

>>21664851
No... I wish I did though.
>>21664857
That's sort of what I was aiming for. Complete nonsense.
>>21664859
You're just being nice, but thank you.
>>21664864
Was it funny?

>>21664877
it appears to be cute and funny.

>>21664877
I unironically enjoy the likes of Eminence in Shadow, I was being completely serious when I called your excerpt kino.

I have a plot idea that’s beyond my skill level desu

Should I write it anyway? I want to pursue trad pub (YA) and it’s just a very marketable idea!!

>>21664839
>Don’t mind the smell, I’ve been living near the pile of nightsoil for the past three months.

>>21664864
>>21664963
lmao

>>21664839
You need to lay off on the "I did X". Try to divvy up your sentences a bit more. Now post chapter 2

>>21664845
Rereading it I think most of the dialogue is fine, but the final exchange between the girl and the cop is awkward
I know the scene has a quality of unreality but it still felt bad to read. I suspect the reason is that that dialogue exchange is very broken up by prose but the other dialogues aren't. Try stripping your dialogue down to just the base components so you can see it in a sequence, might be decent exercise
Your dialogue is very terse, which works in the more grounded scenes. You understand pacing and use your dialogue to break up scenes, and it works, but that final segment the dialogue is the focus of the scene. Might be another reason it's weak. Try writing a piece that relies on dialogue as the medium

>>21664713
Damn I didn't finish it but I didn't know iit got that dark LMAO
>>21664744
Maybe use a chatbot to edit it

On my third diet coke after already drinking a monster and I can't shit out more then 1k after 2 hours, its looking bleak

>>21665057
It's fine if a writer with basic competence use GPT to edit but a shitter needs to be able to figure it out themselves
Hell even a decent writer ought to just read and critique others writing if they just need new perspective
Writing is a mental activity, relying on an AI to do the thinking for you will stunt your improvement

>>21665057
I found chatbots don't convey the messages I want. Especially when I'm foreshadowing, using sarcasm, or metaphors that could reference 2 or more parts in a story. Great for exposition though.

>>21663698
>>21663858
>>21664032
>>21664143
Your meme is dead.
It's never coming back.
Give it up already.

>go to take a nap
>wake up
>immediately in a delirious haze write an outline for a novel i had been thinking of
>lay back down
>after i wake up again, read it again
>it's actually good and solves all the problems with the idea i had been worrying about
what just happened

>>21665240
You experienced a "flow state".
Awesome, isn't it?

>>21665240
>wake up in middle of the night
>write in my head
>it's so lucid and flowing, so flawlesss
>fall back asleep
>in the morning it's all gone and i'm so groggy i can't put together one sentence
>repeat every day

i hope with every drop of alcohol i partake in i can punish my brain for this betrayal

Is F Gardner actually gay or is that a meme too?

>>21665251
no that's when i'm writing and think "damn this shit sounds like it'd get praised in a MFA shop" and then i go back and delete three paragraphs
never flow

>>21665264
just put a notebook on your nightstand

>16,668 words in
>still no idea what the plots is
oh may god bless my weary soul and help me through this abyss

>>21665361
i don't understand how people write anything without outlining the plot first

>had a mental breakdown and deleted my in progress 80k word story
>again
its just not fair

>>21665385
If I plot and write, and I come up with a good idea in chapter 2 but it fucks with my 20 thousand word plot outline then I'm pretty fucked
I tend to write it all then outline what happened

>>21665393
if that happens i just drop what i'm doing and immediately go back to the outline and work it in

>>21665395
Well that happens to me every other chapter, so I would be doing more outlines then writing.
I'm not a writer so I can write summaries of what happens lol. I'd rather just write a somewhat decent story, outline what happens and see how everything fits and or doesn't.

>>21665385
well you see, some people write trash and say "lol i'm a PANTSER" and their sisters in discord tell them yass queen same
they don't really count as authors if you ask me

>>21665277
Have you seen his YouTube channel? Isn’t it obvious? F Gardner is clearly gay. It’s transparent.

>>21665408
>let me write this novel
>wait one second
>hol up
>just a moment
>hold your horses
Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Outlining Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Write On The Screen Like Nigga Move Your Fingers Haha

>>21664143
>rich and famous author
>shemale girlfriend

What the fuck. F Gardner has my dream life!

Feeling like a fucking idiot because after agonizing over thirty pages I just realized I was trying to cram what should be two chapters in one. I'm very much a ruthless bastard when it comes to pacing but I forget I'm writing a 250~ page novel here.

>>21664959
>Should I write it anyway?
If you want to, it's your idea.

>>21664959
Just write it anyway, you can make the story just make sure to draft smartly and not overwelm your self.

>>21662879
I abuse neologisms and wordplays, it's over

>>21665427
kek

how do i write good

I got accepted into an anthology, the cover was revealed on twitter yesterday and it's pretty sweet. Unfortunately I don't know if I can repost it because every other tweet about it has been getting nuked and I don't know if it's copyright, twitter AI being stupid, or some third option.

Feels good to have someone I don't know validate my work though.

>>21665277
Have you seen his YouTube channel?
He's too developmentally disabled to have a gender identity.

>>21665392
Why delete anything?
It doesn't hurt to just set it aside, even if it's indefinite.

>>21665457
He's not rich. His parent are.
He's a jobless NEET that still lives with mommy and daddy, despite being a grown-ass adult.

>>21665264
When you wake up in the middle of the night next time, grab your phone, turn on some kind of notepad app, and start typing out your stream of consciousness

>>21660360
I feel there is a sense of grooming or intimacy between these characters, as other anons expressed.

You could alter this in a few ways to be a bit less groomy - the fact that the wizard 'takes' the farmboy definitely hams the groom factor up. Maybe the farmboy wins some kind of scholarship for his deeds, giving him opportunity to learn magics.


Also, there is a visual likeness between farmboy and femboy. This does not help with the grooming aspect. Is farmwork essential to the story?

>>21660360
its because in today's society any kind of male-to-male bonding that isn't to a close relative (even that is in danger) is seen as gay. It has nothing to do with your story.
of course this is mainly in America and most of the other world isn't like that.

>>21666882
I dont call him a farmboy in the story but yes, the story requires that he be rural and a bit out of touch with society as wizards come out from the shadows and start hunting monsters and stuff. Him being smart but sheltered from propaganda is why the wizard takes him on.

Honestly, I should probably lean into it, the kid is supposed to end up similar to Dio afterall

>>21660360
>farmboy
Put a space between the two words and capitalise it like a title
>Farm Boy
More professional, less like femboy.

>tfw writing a book with gay shit in it but it's incredibly unwoke, ends in death and tragedy, and would get me accused of homophobia before getting any muh lgbtqiap+ diversity hashtag ownvoices points

>>21657306
Schizophrenia because I want to try to write a PKD novel

>>21660360
Make the wizard a woman

My book sold 50 copies first month. Makes me happy. Thanks guys.

>>21667068
I only sold 5... What's your secret fedbook guy?

>>21667200
Friends and family coming out of the woodwork to support me (God bless them) and my small following on twitter. I’m pretty sure I only sold two copies of Fedbook from /lit/ for all my shilling on here.

>>21667246
That's cool man. Congrats.
It even auto suggested on Amazon.

>writing erotica
>had to coom thirty minutes in to cool off
not gonna make it at this rate boys, I'm only 400 words in

>>21667246
Aw... I don't have friends or coworkers willing to buy any more books from me.

>>21662879
I write the first draft in my native language as a normal text, then turn it into pretentious word salad in the English adaptation.
>>21666252
I translate the wordplays literally as a bilingual joke and create English neologisms based on my native language.

>>21667315
Do NOT cum
Horniness is free drive, use that shit. Don't waste it on an orgasm

Heyo /lit/, wanted to ask, i decided to write some pseudo novel of character from my dnd world as a meme, i started with start of 2023, and atm i am 95 pages writting it. Any tips, do's or don't you could tell me?

>>21668163
finish your draft before you go back and make extensive edits

>>21668163
>>21668163
Like anon said, But when your writing your first draft just try to get it all on paper,

You can do what I do and make some notes on what needs to be changed and your ideas and you work them into the second draft. for the second draft I would try to not focus on the prose really but instead of the characters personitys and the plot.
You can work on the prose at this stage if you'd like. Again repeat the note making process and idea process

In the 3rd draft i'd say start working on it so you can get beta readers so you can start to focus on the prose and getting your characters personitys right so they have their own voice and mannerisms

And beyound that point just keep refining it and making notes and editing it. (Make sure to do a grammar sweep once in a while!)

>>21667246
I wonder does author copy orders count towards sales

what are the benefits to printing hard copies of my book vs just ebooks

>>21668895
You go to a bougie neighborhood, find their hiking trail, which always has a "free book library", toss your book in it and write a message inside.

>>21668895
you have a copy after the EMP wipes out all digital data

>>21668895
some people like reading a book in hand. if you do it through amazon they'll print out a copy each time it's ordered so its no money out of your pocket up front. for proofing reading a physical copy will help you catch stuff you may otherwise miss while staring at a screen

>>21668616
They don’t. I was crabbing on myself day one because I thought like half my sales from twitter were my own author copy purchases, but when I cross checked estimated royalties with the numbers, my author copies clearly didn’t count. Which makes sense because they sell them to you at half price.
KDP community forums affirms this as well, just from quick google search.

>>21669097
Less than half price. My paperbacks are 15usd but the author copies were 5 apiece (plus shipping)

>>21668163
Sounds like the LitRPG genre.
You may want to consider posting it on RoyalRoad.

>>21668027
This is bullshit. Hornyness is free depression and prostate problems. Jerking off while on a break from hyper focus is normal, so jerking off while working on erotica should be too.

>>21669295
This
I usually beat my meat to clear my head when I'm getting brain-fried from smashing out my daily word quota

Artificial Academy 2 General /aa2g/ #1270
Disappointment Edition

Welcome, this general is for the discussion of ILLUSION's Artificial Academy 2.

COPY ERROR MESSAGES WITH CTRL+C, PASTE THEM WITH CTRL+V INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE. JUST CLICK THE WINDOW AND PRESS CTRL + C, IT WORKS.

>Downloads:
/aa2g/ Pre-Installed Game, AA2Mini: https://tsukiyo.me/AAA/AA2MiniPPX.xml
AAUnlimited updates: https://github.com/aa2g/AA2Unlimited/releases

>Information:
AA2Mini Install Guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8Ap6CrmSNXRsKG9jsIMqHYuHM3Cfs5qE5nX6iIgfzLlcWnmiwzmOrp27ytEMX03lFNRR7U5UXJalA/pub
General FAQ:
https://web.archive.org/web/20200216045726/https://pastebin.com/bhrA6iGx
AAU Guide and Resources (Modules, Tans, Props, Poses, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/17qb1X0oOdMKU4OIDp8AfFdLtl5y_4jeOOQfPQ2F-PKQ/edit#gid=0

>Character Cards [Database], now with a list of every NonOC in the megas:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1niC6g-Xd2a2yaY98NBFdAXnURi4ly2-lKty69rkQbJ0/edit#gid=2085826690
https://db.bepis.moe/aa2/

>Mods & More:
Mods for AAU/AA2Mini (ppx format, the mediafire has everything):
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/vwrmdohus4vhh/Mods
/aa2g/ Modding Reference Guide (Slot lists for Hair/Clothes/Faces, List Guides, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gwmoVpKuSuF0PtEPLEB17eK_dexPaKU106ShZEpBLhg/edit#gid=1751233129
Booru: https://aau.booru.org

>HELP! I have a Nvidia card and my game crashes on startup!
Try the dgVoodoo option in the new win10fix settings.
Alternative: Update your AAU and see if it happens again. If so, disable win10fix, enable wined3d and software vertex processing.
>HELP! Required Windows 11 update broke things!
winkey+R -> ms-settings:developers -> Terminal=Windows Console Host
See image: >>417590465

Previous Thread:
>>417810273

>>21669530
Hmmm.... I didn't know we had hentai fags in a writing general. Are you writing your own hentai game?

>>21669530
uh oh retard moment

Anyone want to critique my short-short sci-fi story?

>tl;dr muh war same on both sides

https://pastebin.com/QVncEgqG

>>21669715
I really like the idea you're going for here. Thought I feel some areas are a little forced with what you're trying to say. It might help if you wrote a slightly longer piece and weren't so blunt with the themes. Though that's just a personal nitpick.
There are a couple of minor things I would change. For example,
>It was designed to kill painlessly, and Alexey was about to find out.
I would change "and" to "as"
Simple things like that make the first paragraph, and a few other areas, read awkwardly to me. But it's not too bad.
Overall I think it's fine. Just write more.

>>21669799
Thank you anon. I think I should just avoid writing scifi as I'm so clunky with it. I'm the guy that wrote the schoolgirl story

>>21669715
>tl;dr muh war same on both sides
Overused. But I'll try reading it.

Alright. I see your pacing is too fast. You don't let the reader to rest or to latch on some concept or feeling. For example, there are almost no pause between your protagonist lighting up a cigar and getting attacked. You should make scenes more impactful. Also, first time "Liberation Army" comes up its vague and doesn't mean anything. I didn't get that dialogue at first and didn't understand that the girl was an enemy. I'll let other anons critique the prose.

>>21669865
>>21669715
Yeah, forgot. Also in the first paragraph "he" is used for both characters, it is confusing. Try using some other words to distinguish the two.

>>21669715
imo brevity is a virtue for such clichéd works and you are really close to the ideal length, but >>21669799 has a point about the themes

>After all, we are not all—
the repetition of 'all' feels a little clunky here, but otherwise the prose is invisible

how do u write exciting action scenes

>>21670148
Clear understanding of character options
cut the descriptive prose
structure the fight to have it progress by obvious metrics
inject uncertainty to the winner
have satisfying moves

It's not hard anon, just don't talk about how they are face slugging each other becuase that's boring.

New thread >>21670199
for our time is short...

i am new here and i was wondering if i should get into writing alongside philosophy, i start reading philosophy tomorrow and want to see if i can write down my thoughts and perceptions and get better at explaining and understanding them and thus making myself more articulate

thoughts and options?

>>21669856
I read the schoolgirl one. I thought it was honestly really good, definitely better than some of the stuff I've written.jjvvk

>>21664143
>hot tranny girlfriend
I can think of 3 things wrong with that phrase.

>>21669865
Thank you! Things are always much clearer in my head than put to paper

>>21669880
>>21669979
>>21670233
Thanks anons