/lit/ - Literature

>>21629812
>those fingers
>no thank you, m'dam

>>21629816
spaget

>>21629816
That's not very nice.
She's already self-conscious about having been shattered & put back together with molten gold.
You're not getting any snatch from her, that's for sure.

>>21629812
Why is everyone on this board so dogshit at writing? Every writing sample I ever read here is one of the following:

>pretentious purple prose salad
>so illiterate that it looks like a 13-year-old wrote it
>schitzo meltdown
>porn-addicted pure edginess

More on that last point, it seems like half the """writers""" here just watched Taxi Driver or Fight Club once and went "I should make this into a book!11!!!!" and then proceeded to spew the most heinous bullshit imaginable without an ounce of care for learning the craft.

I don't know why I'm still surprised by dumb shit like this, but it still gobsmacks me seeing how many of you retards unironically think it's a good idea writing your future-best-selling-novel by hand on paper in your shitty, crude 4th-grade scribbles. Spoiler alert: even if you're a good writer with a professionally-polished and edited novel, getting strangers to care enough to read it is very fucking hard. You can churn out a great book with professional everything and still not get any readers; the odds of you getting anyone to read your hand-written, unedited schitzo-scribbles is zero. You shouldn't need to be told this.

Is it because none of you actually read? One would think that avid readers of classics would at least have a passable command of the English language, but everything I read here is trash.

>>21629847
This site is comprised primarily of NEETs.
They completely failed at life, and are supported by their hapless and embarrassed parents, or are on government disability.
They have no job, no friends, no purpose, and no prospects.
So obviously their writing sucks. Everything else they do sucks too.

Finally out! Amazon accepted it!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTRTBP5H

Try out my book please!

>>21629894
Congrats! I remember beta reading the first few chapters of this like a year ago, I'm curious how it's changed since then.

>>21629847
>Is it because none of you actually read? One would think that avid readers of classics would at least have a passable command of the English language, but everything I read here is trash.
We read, but we don't read classics. We read great books written today like "Deathbroken: Fae Fantasy", "I woke up in a new life as a monster trainer!", "Death and Brimstone! Knights of Destruction!"

As for my diary stuff, people do suggest you "write what you know". So all the mentally deranged first person stuff that honestly makes no sense whatsoever.

Fantasy, Horror, and Anime stuff is popular across the world.

>>21629847
>pretentious purple prose salad
>schitzo meltdown
>porn-addicted pure edginess
I enjoy these.

>>21629900
My two final beta readers, a 40 year old middle aged woman, and a 17 year old teenage girl, both said they liked it.

Take that as you will.

Alright /wg/... what's your go-to writing music?

>>21629847
Lieutenant Waters had fingers of red wrapped around his throat like a burn mark. Like the rest of the squad, he had let his stubble grow out to a beard, and more often than not the beard had frozen solid in the Siberian winter. Rashes and frostbite were the norm, but Sergeant Hardy had never seen a rash take all the hair off. Waters might have been scratching at it, judging by the scrapes and cuts and the blood on his fingernails, but the rest of the team wouldn’t know for certain because Lieutenant Waters was dead.

Private Alan stamped his boots to knock off more of the endless snow. The ice was as sharp as knives and clung to everything. How the Soviets were crazy enough to put a training camp this far north and east, no one could really fathom. “Think it was an allergy maybe?” he asked, puffing some breath between his hands and rubbing life back into them.

“An allergy to what?” their radioman, a black pulled out of Nome by name of Freeman, asked. He was squatted next to the fireplace, using an old newspaper as a fan to pump some life into the flames. There was no shortage of wood in the cabin, just of food. The ice had seeped into the pile outside and it felt like any new log took an hour to catch. Lieutenant Waters had been left behind to keep the blaze going. Freeman gave up for the moment with a huff. “What’s there to be allergic to in this kind of weather? A bug? They’d be itty bitty insect popsicles.”

Alan frowned and peered over Hardy’s shoulder. “Spider bite maybe? Do the ruskies have poisonous spiders out here?”

Still asking for criticism on my fag writing

The cautious gip-gallop of your shoes is quickly detected by your young master. You're not getting past her in those shoes (or anyone else for that matter.)
"MISS A-A-A-A-JAAAA!"
*Sighhh...* "Y-Yes, my darling princess Vaosajna?" Smile and nod.
"...can you help me with something..?"
Huh. She got a little quiet. Wonder what's up..?
"Be right there!"
Oh, dammit! Your undergarments still outline a *very* obvious erection, (despite the size of your penis). Rushing from the busy hallway and setting yourself up in a secluded corner, you swiftly bring what remains of your once-clean dress up to your chest with one hand, and with the other, you bring down your soiled and stained panties, still warm and gooey from your... 'Excursion.'
"...fuck..."
"...Ajaaaaaa?" Her tone continues to grow more whiny and aggressive by the second. You're REALLY hoping she doesn't come out, considering you'd be in eyeshot of her.
"A second, honey!"
While you're barely able use your hands in a coordinated matter, you manage to stop shaking for a moment to bring your ever-so-sensitive tip to the waistband of your drenched panties, and throw your dress down. Mmmh... It's starting to drip!
All of the thick, congealed semen is starting to water down. A drop beads down your backside and onto your leg. You feel a slight tickle as it rolls down like a watery bead of sweat. Once more, you feel another bead caressing your leg. Soon, the musty, intoxicating aura of semen pervades the air while drops of watery cum drip nonstop. Many of them roll down to your ankles, and into your shoes.

>>21629917
Depends on the scene.
A couple examples:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Ts60b7hBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4JLAaVCEbE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS2RyHzL8K0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Ex5Dyq-4s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nrKo7yMBIg

>>21629917
I don't listen to anything while I write. I find it too distracting. Although, I did make a playlist/soundtrack of songs that thematically fit my book.

>>21629917
I find any sort of melody, slightly jangly indie music works really well for me.
Couple of my favourite albums to write to:
The Smiths- Meat is Murder
The Sundays- Reading, Writing and Arithmetic
The Whitlams- Eternal Nightcap
Powderfinger- Odyssey Number Five
The Jam- Setting Sons

https://youtu.be/ae8Yxo8-jSM

Posted this before but I started a shitty youtube channel. Even if I become rich and famous I'll still shitpost you guys.

Continuing with a discussion from the last thread. What does everyone think about using Royal Road to post your work and get feedback while you're still writing it? Especially if it isn't fantasy?

>>21629847
Why are you so angry

>>21629847
Speak for yourself buddy, i'm published and drowning in arthoe pussy

>>21629847
>More on that last point, it seems like half the """writers""" here just watched Taxi Driver or Fight Club once and went "I should make this into a book!11!!!!" and then proceeded to spew the most heinous bullshit imaginable without an ounce of care for learning the craft.
I had a dream one night of a flying night with green light about them fighting a jagged, black mass of rocks that I thought looked like obsidian: https://www.webnovel.com/book/dark-crow-rising_14515049706684405###

3rd person limited is the only good POV
everything else is for trannies and wine aunts

>>21630036

>>21630028
Want to be added to the pastebin?

https://pastebin.com/sVBtcMQb

>>21630036
Horror needs to be first person.

>>21629894
>>21630066

>>21630069
horror's entire genre is for trannies
fitting because trannies themselves are a horror

>>21629847
This one isn't anything of the four you listed. Read the preview on kindle and see if you like it.
>>21629894


>>21630066
Not "The Beautiful Kingdom". I want to try without the 4chan boost.

>>21630015
I'm posting my first fantasy [isekai] story to RR and hadn't gotten any feedback yet. And I really don't mind. I don't write to be a writer nor to make money out if it. I write because I have all these stories inside my head and writing them down is the best feeling of the world.
I begin writing and then 5 hours have already passed by like it's nothing. I love it.

I was born a spoiled prince with everything I wanted so I broke myself like every spoiled prince does. Eventually I put myself back together using a tree. People started coming to the tree asking me questions so I told them they were faggots. They loved that so much they made a religion about it.

>>21630093
I'm very happy for you that you have found something to be so passionate about. Keep writing.

>>21629933
I'll reiterate my critique. Cut out the ellipses.
And then I suppose as a matter of worldbuilding big futa cock having freaks wouldn't wear panties because they'd be way too confining. Dresses would only work at literal adults only occasions or sex parties because otherwise their fat futa cocks would be vulgarly displayed. I realize you're dealing with porn logic and the main demographic you're writing for is AGP troons who salivate at wearing too small underwear and dresses specifically to force people to see their bulges, but as a functioning society it'd be ludicrous.

>>21629894
Man I remember the early iterations of this being posted in these threads. I even offered some critique. The final product is much, much better. Kudos to you for following through.

>>21630077
You just don't understand horror like women do, chud

If something seemingly impossible happens in a dream, and the character wakes up and dismisses it as such, will the reader automatically assume it was real?

>>21630156
Perhaps you have never heard of a sleeve (just cloth, god damn it) for futa cocks, which they can proudly wear on their 3 foot penises together with short skirts.

>>21630181
no. the reader will take note of it, however, either as potential foreshadowing or as a symptom of the character's anxieties

>>21629894
>name is fucking John
>John Chinaman
How the fuck did you get away with that one?

>>21630181
Depends on how you execute the dream. It can either be a metaphor or something that happened for real.

Something I did earlier

>>21630168
Thanks anon!

>>21630205
You're head jumping. You went from the crowd, to the winner, back to the crowd, to the loser, then too the crowd, then back to the loser, his accountant, and finally back to the champion

>>21630205
It reads like a summary. Not quite a story. You could easily expand it.
>>21630232
"Head hoping"
Lol. Third person omniscient is the oldest form of storytelling.

>>21630264
>the oldest form of storytelling.
that would be epic poetry. no one likes omniscient. it's for faggots who can't make up their mind and can't convey information other than internal-monologue-dumping like a teenager

Do we have a discord server, or does anyone know a discord writing server that isn't too woke but also not /pol/ brained?

>>21630264
Dune is able to get away with third-person omniscience because Frank Herbert is a writing prodigy. Your writing is lazy and pedestrian at best and hopeless at worst. Stick to third-person limited until you learn the basics. This passage doesn't come across as having any intentional usage of omniscient narration, it just seems like the writer is lazy and retarded and can't keep track of whose perspective they wanpw0yst the audience to follow.

I'm trying to determine if my story would work better with third person narration or first person narration. I'm at a loss.

>>21630330
>redditscord
I understand your desire to procrastinate, but writing is ultimately a solitary endeavor. joining a discord would be counterproductive. if you want feedback just post your work.

>>21630365
I'd love to help, but you're obviously only complaining and not looking for help.

>>21630332
>because Frank Herbert is a writing prodigy.
Jesus Christ. You think Herbert is a prodigy? He wrote one cool setting, but he's a pretty hack writer.

>>21630388
Complaining? No I'm looking for advice on how to know when to use one over the other. Why do you think I'm complaining?

>>21629812
How do you do writing shapeshifters well? Because I want to include a shapeshifting race in my setting and I need some help please.

>>21630411
Nobody can answer that because it depends on what you're trying to portray and the story you want to tell.

>>21630416
Read how other people did it. My shapeshifter is just shifts out of his ass. Then has sex with the female mc

>>21630429
>>21630416
Are you writing about shapeshifters too?

>>21630433
Only my villain is a shapeshifter.

>>21630438
Alright. I don't know if my experience can be extended on someone else's character. You can look into dnd guides or good recorded plays with doppelganger/changeling characters. They have a really good mix of lacking identity and being sentient.
However i made my character to be a sweet talking liar and actor, who doesn't have an identity of its own and pursues a goal that is revered by its race, reluctantly and out of a lack of agency.

>>21630411
you've shared nothing that allows anyone to even begin answering the question. we're not mind readers we haven't the foggiest what your story idea is. so you're just complaining.

let me add my complaint. I hate that I want to write, I have the story in mind, I have the characters in mind, I have the specific scene in mind, I even have a good bit of the dialogue in mind, but instead of writing that scene right now I'm lazing around being distracted and not writing

the answer to both of our complaints is fairly similar

>>21630498
>Share my writing on 4chan
>Get told it's shit and I'm a fag
I'll pass. I'm just looking for generic advice on how I should know which narration to use. How would Harry Potter be different if it was first person narration? What if Percy Jackson was third person? Why were these decisions made?

>>21630525
>Harry Potter
>why
children's stories and young adult are typically not 1st person

>>21630525
Don't be a fucking coward. You don't create art while being afraid of critique.

Do you write every day? How much do you write? And how much would you want to write? Personally I have a goal of 2k words a day for the main project, 500 words for whatever fanwork I'm excited about that day. Rarely do I reach these goals because I'm very anhedonia but they're possible so I still try.

>>21630531
>critique.
>Being told I'm ngmi and my writing is shit
Not exactly the same thing.

>>21630592
Then just don't write like a retard. You know, if we're saying it's shit nobody is going to ever read it after the second grammar mistake.

>>21629905
Same. I say fuck "professionalism." SOVL is found in the flaws and imperfections.

>>21630365
It doesn't matter choose the one you would prefer writing.

>>21629921
Yep, that's good. Is it from some completed work or just an excerpt from a nearly finished draft?

>>21630600
I browse a bit. I've seen excellent writing get called shit. No elaboration. Just "it's shit". I know 4chan is contrarian, but I'm too much of a thin skinned pussy to deal with that.

>Decide I'll listen to King. After all, he's prolific.
>Try to write a first draft without outlining.
>No idea what the fuck I'm doing
>Get 10,000 words
>No fucking idea what to do next
>The story is 90% complete, full of holes, poorly paced, and the dialogue is shit
This faggot is lying. He's giving false advice to weed out the competition.

>>21629812
>thread theme
OP is a faggot

https://justpaste dot it/ae0th

>>21630630
shit meant to use this as a reply to >>21629847

>>21630630
This isn't reddit. External links aren't banned or blocked

>>21630670
why do you think I put the (dot) there you silly nigger

>>21630592
We told >>21629894
Was shit and wasn't going to make it too. He soldiered on and has a completed product . He didn't even write a first person fantasy either.

>>21630670
also last I checked justpasteit is considered spam for some reason

>>21630673
You think I can be assed to type out the hyperlink?

>>21630682
you seemed assed to respond, cmon do it pussy bet you won't ooooohohoeeheheheo

>>21630682
Lol
>>21630630
Reads okay, much better than all the stuff posted here that is too fucking unemotional. But I also felt pretty close to protagonist. No wonder, you seem to like writing excessive descriptions of the state of distress he is in for far too long.

>>21630686
I'm trying to give you legitimate help here, but since you're this combative, forget it. You'll be another dunderhead refusing to take advice. The first rule is to make things easy for others.

>>21630691
rad, thanks for reading
>>21630693
you sound grumpy, I was making a funny haha joke

>>21629894
>mass immigration across the nation took place across the nation
bro. It's like the third sentence. I know i'm supposed to make you feel good but seriously, get a real proof reader before you publish. Learn your lesson. I would never EVER read this if i just happened upon it looking for a new read. Sorry, but i'm actually helping you.

>>21629921
Really well written, gets me right into the story.
Only thing is I hope the dialogue about the allergy/spider doesn’t go on for any longer, maybe even the last remark about the spider should be cut. It works great if it’s just some remarks to paint the setting and characters but I don’t really care about the actual allergy theory.
Keen to read more.

>>21630713
That's funny. After numerous of readers you're the first to catch it. Time to upload a correction.

>>21630378
Literally not why I asked, stay relevant or keep it to yourself. I have been around and there are plenty of kids on discord who have put more words out than you - not that it means anything, but if your sole advice for anyone into the craft of writing is "just write" then you are losing to all sorts of people who do more than "just write".
I recommend you stop giving out advice (and maybe focus on your writing instead of browsing /lit/). Not for others' sake, for your own sake, so you can stop embarrass yourself by showing how little you actually know about writing as a craft, or about being a person in general.
Case in point, running is also solitary and people still find plenty of value, fun and personal growth in running together. Writers also associate and hang out. Stop being a child.

>>21630330
seconded

>>21630756
reddit moment

>>21629917
Harpsichord.

>>21630767
>>21630330
The Unreal Press server is pretty active. Has a lot of our big names.

>>21630623
>He's giving false advice to weed out the competition
You're preaching to the choir newfriend

>>21630623
unbased and not faith in the muse pilled
also cocaine

>>21629847
>I don't know why I'm still surprised by dumb shit like this, but it still gobsmacks me seeing how many of you retards unironically think it's a good idea writing your future-best-selling-novel by hand on paper in your shitty, crude 4th-grade scribbles.
My handwriting is better than that but yes, pencil and paper is the way.

>>21630264
>"Head hoping"
Head hopping is when the writer adds inner thoughts while switching between characters so often that the reader can't tell who's talking/thinking. There are no inner monologues in this excerpt, so it can't be guilty of that.

>>21630608
It will be in the next unreal anthology

>>21629812
Anyone had any success on self publishing or web novel platforms? Or online lit magazines? Writing consistently but not sure where to start building something. I want to write professionally and I'm not above churning out schlock - normie work is too unbearable.

>>21631120
Plenty of people make a living on Royalroad, because they produce a large quantity of writing that people actually want to consume.

Nobody from here though, for obvious reasons.

Anyone using chatGPT for brainstorming? I’d use it to write directly but I hate “massaging” the bot to get a result I want.

>>21631146
I do use another transformer model to see what it will generate based on my ideas. You can use it to expose what a reader would think. Writing with GPT is retarded though, peak mediocrity and unimaginative pseudocreative masturbation.

>>21630713
And just like that it's fixed. Thanks anon!

>>21630093
You are walking the path of a true warrior.

>>21631055
Doesnt matter if it's head hopping or not. It's bad either way.

>>21630093
Man, I'm jealous of your passion

>>21630205
I think I see what you are going for, though. The winner doesn't want his status, the loser is watching from binoculars wishing it was him. I like the irony, but you executed the passage poorly.
There are no names, I'm not sure why the "match" took place in walking distance to an airplane, I don't know what the match was for, the characters don't have names, etc....
As the other anon says, it reads like a summary. Try again and flesh it out.

>>21631262
>Doesnt matter if it's head hopping or not. It's bad either way.
There's over a century of great novels written in 3rd person omniscient. It might be out of style or hard to do well, but it's not automatically bad.

>>21631347
I was saying your writing was bad, not that "head hopping" was automatically bad.
It is probably actually one of the easier styles to work with as you are less limited. You did it poorly as it reads like more of a summary than a passage.

Something I've noticed with a lot of critiques in /wg/ is saying there is nothing to help them understand "why" the passage was written. What are the character motivations? What is the conflict? etc. Would it help to include longer passages for critique to hopefully better contextualize the scene or possibly include a summary of what is happening and why?

How would someone who experiences reality 1000x faster than a human spend their time? One day feels like over 3 years.

>>21631427
Or just post an opening chapter.

>>21631435
You're the author, figure it out

>>21631427
How long does it take to know if a pianist is any good? How many notes do they have to play?

>>21631457
You flatter me. Plausibly describing the day to day thoughts of someone who can review and critique the years top 100 novels in the time it takes you to walk across the room to meet them is beyond me or maybe any one person.

>>21631480
If you can't do it, then don't write it. Nobody knows how to write whatever is in your head. It's yours. You think I lived 1000 years? So use the power of imagination.

>>21629847
you realize most 4ch users are young men right?
you can ape the greats as much as you like, but most creatives will be expressing themselves, and for many here that means writing as a young man would: with passion and idiocy

>>21631513
>You think I lived 1000 years? So use the power of imagination.
Well I'm not asking you specifically I'm canvassing for fresh angles I haven't thought of.

>>21631435
Why would they do anything different from a regular person? Just having more time in your hands doesn't mean you're also more motivated or more intelligent.

>>21631552
see NEETs
everyone wants to quit work and become a renaissance man and realize their dreams but in reality most people just waste away

>>21631552
Well I was thinking about almost any android-style character. Any realistic android-ish being with a computer for a brain will be 'living' at many, many times the speed of a human. Perhaps a million times faster or more.

Just talking to a human would be a long, drawn out affair, having to wait several hours or days between the words that you're speaking to them. They could watch all the lotr extended editions in the time it takes you to speak a greeting.

>>21631575
Subjective perception of time does not correlate to one's raw mental processing power. That's the most midwit redditor view of the subject you could possibly have.

>>21629812
Imagine writing a story with 5 fingers and a thumb on your hands

>>21631594
>Subjective perception of time does not correlate to one's raw mental processing power.
Of course it does. It would take me weeks or months to count the number of times the word "when" is used in the 1997 edition of the encyclopedia britannica but even a piece of shit pc from the 80's could do it in seconds.

>>21631604
Conflating the ability of a binary machine to perform calculations with the mental capacity of a sapient being isn't even a midwit take, it's just straight up retarded. Consciousness is not a computation, and binary counting-machines are by design incapable of producing it.

I don't need to argue this point, however: Humans with exceedingly high computative ability, such as math prodigies, don't magically get bullet-time. More mental capacity doesn't mean that they get more time to think, they can fit more thinking into less time without their perception of that timeframe becoming distended. One's subjective perception of time - at least on the visual level - is tied to an entirely different part of the brain from active thought. Some of the least intelligent animals in the world also have the "fastest" perception of time - that's why flies are so hard to swat, you look like you're in slo-mo to them.

>>21631604
If you were one of those people who can read and retain information extremely quickly, like a few seconds per page as some gifted may do, you do not experience the time as having taken significantly longer, or at least I have never heard it described thus.

>>21631642
You throw out the word retarded but you are the real retard here. Sci-fi androids aren't 1980's pcs or flies they have super-human intelligence combined with extremely fast perception of time.
Just listening to you speak they could think a million thoughts in between your words.

>>21631575
>Any realistic android-ish being with a computer for a brain will be 'living' at many, many times the speed of a human. Perhaps a million times faster or more.

There's a reason people have evolved to process information at what you would call a "slow" rate (it's amazing fast, really) and that's because there's simply no need to process it any faster. We shut out the majority of the information our senses perceive from our consciousness because it's irrelevant to survival.

A quick, intelligent entity doesn't spend time memorizing how many letters there are in the Wheel of Time series, or rewatching LotR, because that's completely pointless. The first thing an advanced android would learn, if it doesn't already have that ability, is to impose limiters on its processing ability and go to sleep when free, in order to not waste power on fucking worthless activities and processes.

>>21631653
amazing
i didn't know there were real bonafide abortion survivors on this board
have you pulled the coat hanger out of your skull yet?

>>21631663
Saint Davis would probably be embarrassed by you.

Can someone give me an interesting prompt for a 400-word dialogue please?

>>21631689
dunning kruger effect

whats with all the people begging for prompts recently

I have thousands of ideas in my head that I want to write down and share. I don't even know where to begin. I can't get my ideas consolidated, centralized, or allocated to place into words. How do I even start?

>>21631721
Just Write

>>21631725
Where can I post writings to get constructive criticism?

>>21629853
How many people here are cool like you?

>>21631728
Baiting and whining is annoying. Stop it.

>>21631796
I'm legitimately curious and have no idea where to begin or what to do. Guess I'll just write and post something here.

>>21631808
That's okay. Try figuring out even a short 1-2 page plot first though, write a little outline. It's better if you start with that because it's challenging, but you have the whole picture in view and not going to mess up the narrative.

>>21629905
Me too.
Also don't feed the troll. He makes more or less the same post every thread.

I'm looking for some love centered or higly erotic fiction to write parody. Especially obsessive. Something recognizable but not slops for women. Basically closest to "Lolita". Highbrow /lit/ shit is perfect. Any recomendations?

>>21631866
Madam Bovary of course.

>>21631830
I'll write it anyway. Though this greentext will be vague, would you please tell me if a plot chain like this is super common or if there is any media like it:
>Start off happy for a few chapters, everything seems normal
>Small house in the woods, narrator is a teenager
>has friends over, everything is fine
>Normal day in the USA
>get trapped in house with some humanoid creature
>Creature kills everyone but narrator, 1st person
>Narrator escapes, runs away in the woods
>The trees start going from your standard American deciduous to larger, taller trees that look like Baobab and Acacia mixes
>Come up to a clearing with a bunch of fallen trees and some standing with tree houses in them
>A "tribe" of various people, black markings like one would expect on indigenous people - but these were your run of the mill amerimutts
>Interact with them, get along just fine, befriend them and start living with them
>They all lived in treehouses
>The tree houses were white wood, not white painted
>Suddenly get a burlap sack over my head while talking with them in the tree house
>The leader says to "start the initiation process"
>Get injected with a syringe to the neck filled with a white liquid. It is a large syringe
>Get the sack off and look out an opening in one of the tree houses
>The moon starts to take a more 3D shape, eyes and a mouth start to form. Like a mushroom trip
>Narrator not allowed to leave the tree houses or go to the ground floor
>Look down and sees a bunch of black silhouettes of people - thousands of them completely covering the ground
>The black silhouettes go away and only their eyes remain black
>They are a various amount of people as well, and many of them are scarred, cut, and bruised
>Start panicking and one of the people tells narrator "You have a gift to see these people. They are the disturbed spirits of a past time and their spirits soak the wood of our trees. We build our homes with this wood and their spirits leave it to go to the heavens"
>Another person was in the initiation, and he only saw animals the same way I saw these people
>The other initiate and narrator start to open a hatch to go to the ground and couldn't stop
>Something was overwhelming them to go there
>The tree house people were struggling to get us back into the hatch, and the spirits were all standing stiff, had their mouths open, their black eyes were piercing, and there was a pulsing light behind them
And there is more, but I think I will start small and just write it out as a short story.

I'll write it anyway. Though this greentext will be vague, would you please tell me if a plot chain like this is super common or if there is any media like it:
>1st person
>Start off happy for a few chapters, everything seems normal
>Small house in the woods, narrator is a teenager
>has friends over, everything is fine
>Normal day in the USA
>get trapped in house with some humanoid creature
>Creature kills everyone but narrator
>Narrator escapes, runs away in the woods
>The trees start going from standard American deciduous to larger, taller trees that look like Baobab and Acacia mixes
>Come up to a clearing with a bunch of fallen trees and some standing with tree houses in them
>A "tribe" of various people, black markings like one would expect on indigenous people - but these were run of the mill amerimutts
>Interacts with them, gets along just fine, befriends them and starts living with them
>They all lived in treehouses
>The tree houses were white wood, not white painted
>Suddenly get a burlap sack over narrators head while talking with them in the tree house
>The leader says to "start the initiation process"
>Get injected with a syringe to the neck filled with a white liquid. It is a large syringe
>Get the sack off and look out an opening in one of the tree houses
>The moon starts to take a more 3D shape, eyes and a mouth start to form. Like a mushroom trip
>Narrator not allowed to leave the tree houses or go to the ground floor
>Looks down and sees a bunch of black silhouettes of people - thousands of them completely covering the ground
>The black silhouettes go away and only their eyes remain black
>They are a various amount of people as well, and many of them are scarred, cut, and bruised
>Start panicking and one of the people tells narrator "You have a gift to see these people. They are the disturbed spirits of a past time and their spirits soak the wood of our trees. We build our homes with this wood and their spirits leave it to go to the heavens"
>Another person was in the initiation, and he only saw animals the same way I saw these people
>The other initiate and narrator start to open a hatch to go to the ground and couldn't stop
>Something was overwhelming them to go there
>The tree house people were struggling to get us back into the hatch, and the spirits were all standing stiff, had their mouths open, their black eyes were piercing, and there was a pulsing light behind them
And there is more, but I think I will start small and just write it out as a short story.

>>21631913
>if a plot chain like this is super common or if there is any media like it
this is a retarded priority and totally irrelevent to the quality of your writing
if you care about being generic, then this behavior of avoiding the act of writing by looking for outside affirmation that your ideas are valuable is something most beginners do
just fucking write the thing

>>21631435
Greg Egan is obsessed with this idea (in combination with uploading your mind into a virtual reality). You should take a look at his works (though be warned most of it just two characters giving exposition in form of repetitive debates)

>>21631931
I want to know if there is a plot chain like it, or media like it, so I can see how others have done it and get some inspiration or ideas. Not to omit.

I am working on a translation. How do you decide if you want to go for a literal translation, or embellish the translation slightly with turgid language without actually changing the meaning of the sentence?

>>21630623
>King is a big faggot
enough said

>Know what story you want to tell
>Know the major plot points and overall story before you begin
>Write up story of the chapter that you are writing
>Develop characters, motivations
>Start writing one paragraph at a time, checking that you are progressing the story through the plot points you already set.
>Ignore King, cuz he is a lying faggot for sure.

>>21631913
Eh, it sounds just like your run of the mill short horror story. They're quite diverse, but still. They have some mystery and shocking revelation most of the time. Do you need all those plot points though? I mean it doesn't really look like you have some special place for all of those. Is the creature necessary? It will be great both ways, but you need to neatly tie it up into a story after all.

>my prose is simplistic and suites for YA
How do I improve prose yet still maintain a modern written form of words?

>>21632000
checked. By writing. Just write and then write some more, my faggot.

>>21632004
I have a deadline. One week. I need to write like masters of literature. Even if can only do one paragraph. What should i do then?

>>21632019
regret that you wasted your time instead of steadily working and get started on that for the next opportunitu

>>21632019
Don't reply for me

>>21632019
Write a paragraph about a doctor arriving to a frontier town on a new world.
The town is near a chain of massifs where the company that hired the doctor is working. A boiling caldera is near the first work site, and a kind of pterodactyl bird that makes its home on the slopes of the caldera is attacking the workers. The planet is called Blacssid.

Does anybody write in the morning before they go to a 8:00am job? Im considering rising at 5am to do an hours worth of writing, alternating between a workout and writing each day. This is not my workspace as i leave the house to work in a machine shop, it seems like a good idea.

>>21631975
Thanks. Less so plot points and more so a flow. Everything would tie in together. The creature is necessary as it, if not in a short story, would be revealed as to why all the spirit things are there, et cetera. Some of it would just be to establish background.

>>21632027
This doesn't solve my problem.
>>21632030
You're anonymous.
>>21632035
Well, thanks for pacifying the prompt beggers, I guess.

>>21632050
the time for laying the foundations required to solve your problem have long since passed
suffer

>>21632050
what are the prompt beggars?


ALternatively, make a story about a young boy that is recruited by a slaver to help him fix the gladiator games that take place in their region, away from Rome but set in that era.
The youth is later caught poisoning one of the more famous combatants.
Hijinks ensue.

>>21631926
>starts off happy for a few chapters
boring, make it one chapter with the monster showing up at the end
>runs into the woods and the monster disappears for the rest
so what happened to it?
>finds loonies in the woods, gets along with them, decides to live with them. oh and they live in trees
this seems completely retarded. your character seems less like a person with thoughts and goals and more like a cypher
>all that other shit
could be fine. give your mc more autonomy and a more established voice

>>21632039
Honestly i think I have a recommendation for you, this reddit story
/r/nosleep/comments/z3w4jg/i_live_in_a_town_in_texas_that_doesnt_exist_we/

>>21630429
What are some good examples to look at besides the ones mentioned >>21630450 then? Tell me more about this character BTW, please.

>>21629933
Text porn without context is always going to be boring. It's all about the build up. Part of the reason why fanfic porn is popular is because the books or tv shows have done all the real work establishing characters and relations, so all that's left is the porn. But someone doing it from scratch doesn't have that luxury.

>>21631949
Do the second. The first is outdated dogma.

>>21632083
Sorry, anon. You're going to read about them in about 4-5 months if I estimated my writing speed correctly. I'm not making it a book to publish or anything of that sort, but I just don't want to speak about it too much.

>>21632124
>>21632083
Oh wait, you meant another anon. Confusing references.

>>21632124
How much to you write in a day?
I have been shooting for at least one thousand words every day, and I can usually get to two thousand without much trouble.
I try to write every single day except for Sundays. Thus, I usually write a bit more on Mondays.

>>21632138
Fuck all + 300 words on a work day, about a thousand on saturdays and sundays if I'm lucky.

>>21632143
>>21632143
Brother, I can write three hundred words in a half of an hour, and I can assure you that it would be some incoherent rambling, but I still think that you can do better than that.

>>21632037
I should be doing this, but I need my eight, preferably nine hours of sleep and I also have a comfy girlfriend who wants to watch HBO or Netflix in bed every night...
Becoming a good writer truly requires sacrifice.

>>21632147
>three hundred words in half an hour
Kek. Get on my level, scrub. I can do that in 5 minutes. Being able to type 140wpm helps with that.

>>21629894
I like it. But I'm too poor to buy it. Someone buy it and rip the PDF for the rest of us.

>>21632185
post 140 wpm prose

>>21632185
Yeah, but I don't believe you. Why lie on the internet? It won't get you any pussy.

>>21632188
>>21632192
My peak average is 180wpm, but my present average is 140wpm. This is what I got on my work laptop while lying down. I've had two carpal tunnel surgeries and an ulnar nerve surgery.

>>21632199
Yes, but can you post an actual story that you have written with 140wpm? No, you cannot, cuz that is ridiculous. Stop lying on the internet, homosexual man.

>>21632199
okay?
what did you think the posts you replied to were saying
I suspect you've not only damaged your tendons, but also your brain

>>21632185
Dude, I stop for a minute to write a sentence and then stop for another minute to fit it inside with clever editing.

I've started an intensive ~200 page long graphic novel project after having worked with a much smaller project last year. My intention with it is primarily for practice and experience, as opposed to making something to be published.
While it's mild in content, the tone of it is turning out to be intense for my mind. I'm dealing with presenting things from different perspectives, one of which is mentally ill/mildly schizophrenic and traumatized. It's getting to a point where it's difficult for me to talk and maneuver adequately in daily life. My mind always sounds like its screaming, and I feel fatigued.
I wonder if this is because its too much of a commitment for an amateur, but I also don't want to abandon the project.
Has anybody dealt with this before too? What's the best way to pace myself to avoid running into this again?

>>21632205
This is the story all about how my life got flip turned upside down. I was posting in /lit/ when some faggot came near. He seemed jealous of my prose, so I challenged him to suck my hose. He ran off with his tail between his legs and his eyes were streaked with tears of rage.

Suddenly the sky cracked open and a thousand Dexters from Dexter's Lab rained down on his position. To him, they represented all of his fears and dreams. They stormed him as a silver cigar shaped space ship followed behind the dexters in the hole on the sky.

The sky closed shut and the silver cigar ship transformed into a giant bipedal mechanicus. Its arms extended from the windows, four on each side. It held a spear sixty feet tall, and the mechanicus stood but 20 feet below it. The body looked like the shaft of the cigar, and two small retractable legs pushed from the vertical exterior. The engine bay opened, and a small head shaped like a leaf raised to the top.

The Rake's Reckoning is now here. Wind swept over the leafy battlefield, yet it was quiet. The calm before the storm. The Silver Cigar Mechanicus stands into a battle pose and pushes a button with 4 of his hands wielding the speer. The tip of the spear turns into a rake. The Mechanicus begins to rake the leaves on the battlefield, like a cannibal.

Off in the distance, a loud neigh would pierce the ears of anything present on the battlefield. Even the sentient leaves. Arriving from the south was a large man sitting on a small horse. The man had an ugly smirk on his face, with blonde hair, brown eyes, and missing or rotting teeth. His hat had corks hanging all around it. In his right hand was a large fence post covered in feces.

"G'day, mate!" the man roared as he rode to the Leaf Sweeper Mechanicus Mk II. Without hesitation, he struck the legs of the Leaf Sweeper with his post, and knocked it down to a new level. The Dexters realize their leader is in peril, and swarm the man on horseback. They surround him and his horse entirely to make a large ball. In hopes of suffocating him, the dexters hold on tight, the sound of leathery gloves and leathery boots and enough "Dede!" repeating to steal the air from the internal Dexter Ball overcomes even the loudest of battlefield noises.

The post pierces the top of the Dexter Ball, and Vegemite blasts through the opening.

Eh whatever, this is 98wpm and now I'm getting bored of this. Never said it had to be good.

>>21632209
Probably not. I'm really tired and have an awful hangover. Drank a fifth of whiskey with a friend last night.

>>21632237
Interesting, anon. Since I am sitting here holding in a shit, about to eat some delicious ham for lunch instead of working on my own novel, I will try to give a proper response to your query.
First off, I think that psychology is a jewish scam, so doing any sort of psycho analysis on this might be a stretch. Take it with a grain of salt.
Are you reliving some sort of trauma within your own past when you write or rough out the art for this graphic novel?
Is the trauma of the characters similar to traumas that you have experienced?
Maybe it is just that you are telling a good story in teh right and proper way. That is resulting in your feeling the problems that your characters are living.

You might consider taking a bit of time off from that portion of the novel, just to see if your mind can come down from the fatigue summit that you have climbed.
As an amateur myself, I can relate to some of these issues, and I would say that you must finish the project! Do not abandon it, my guy.
Pinpoint those parts of the novel that cause teh most stress and work through them at a slower pace, or put them aside and work on other chapters or plot points. THen, come back to those more difficult parts when you feel that you are more up to it.

good evening friends. I know this website is painful to use but I wish you all well. Let the words come easily and without doubt for you tonight.

>>21632294
Cheers brother, same to you.

>>21632199

>>21632268
Thanks for this, my guy. Your encouragement and advice resolves me! That being said, hope you get to enjoy lunch and unleash your shit. Hoping your novel is going well, and that you'll enjoy returning to it.

It's hard to say regarding past trauma. I intentionally try to go outside of my own experience and write about others, but usually find that this ironically leads to discovering far more intense and meaningful material. The traumas depicted aren't mine, but do trigger an intense response from me. Also skeptical of psychology, it's hard to say whether this is something repressed or deep within my psyche.
In this case, the art is mostly done in the first person and emphasizes senses of space, depth, and subtle intensity within others' expressions. The images also crawl around backgrounds and focus on mundane details. These emphases are extremely relatable for me, but I try to approach this theme differently from various perspectives in a way that forces me to look at it differently, too.
The mentally ill perspective opens room for a lot of experimentation with abstract images approached this way, too. At the moment I'm only testing the waters (planning a mental break later on that opens a wider range of imagery).

Going to follow your advice in order to pace myself through this!

>>21629847
No one here reads or writes.

>>21630330
I'm a private matrix/synapse admin. I can offer a host to /WG/ but no autists or rule breaking. Everything is encrypted and there are high upload limits (60mb). I also use NCoC for the code of conduct. Redaction/deletion of files is daily, chats are deleted server-side biweekly, and IP addresses are wiped daily among other privacy settings. Also Tor friendly. The only limitation is joining large rooms outside the server, anything bigger than 100 people because federation and storage size reasons. This is my first time here, and I host other thread generals.
https://github.com/domgetter/NCoC
https://scholastia.xyz/matrix/ Token = writers
I can also teach people to start their own server for publishing writing, or other things.

>>21631122
>Nobody from here though, for obvious reasons.
Trailer Trash makes an income.
Although, I don't know when he started. RR is bigger now with more competition to get noticed.

>>21630066
Uh, sure, why not? :)

>>21630015
I got more feedback on Royal Road than any other site I have used, so I guess that is something.

>>21629894
Chinky chicken anon made it? Love to see it.

>>21629812
>>21629816
>a.i. fingers
this explains why since the renaissance artists drew (sketched) tons of hands
anyway I will leave this here, spotted in an esoteric hitlerism thread, maybe it will be useful for someone ~ does not contain nazi material per se

>>21630330
Please use IRC

>>21629921
Feels fake

>>21633031
Not that anon, I could never be fucked with Discord after everyone abandoned (though admittedly awful) Steam chat, and IRC was a bit before my time. Do you need to download anything or is it all browser based?

i can't sign up to Discord without giving my phone number... downloading an IRC client like HexChat (open source, works on all platforms) is certainly more decent than having to buy a phone and show my ID to buy a SIM card.

>>21633105
you need a phone number for discord? since when?

What is "dark romance"?

>>21633105
kek, why don't you have a phone?

>>21630205
Get your sentences under control. You are only hurting yourself with the flowery, indirect structure. Way too many words for the actual info conveyed. If you rewrote this in direct, simpler language, you would set the scene better in half the space.

>>21633213
Race mixing

>>21633140
recently. I had an old account, barely used, not extremist or anything... but when I wanted to log a few days ago it said it needed confirmation via phone
made a new account, and asked then too, but only after I already verified by mail, sneaky bugger
depends on your country I guess :/
>>21633224
I only use my phone for legitimate reasons like being called when the amazon delivery arrives

>>21633224
i dunno, but i read a bit from this book and it's medieval with very vivid almost-rape-but-totally-ok sex scenes

>>21630264
Third person limited is vastly superior when it comes to cohesion. Ask yourself this, what do the actions of the crowd, or anyone else, matter if they're unrelated to your protagonist's perspective? If you're consistently showing the actions of others, and perhaps even their intent, without relating it to the protagonist, he will become unknown to the reader. Lost amongst the hordes of names and faces you'd rather prioritise.
Also this >>21633225

Though that's just my two pennies worth, don't take it to heart anon. Write as you enjoy to do so.

>>21630937
Need the invite boss.

>>21633271
It's in their videos and stuff

>>21631926
yeah would probably work as a short story.

>>21631926
Interesting. I actually like the trees changing from one kind to another. I'm guessing you came up with the ending first and worked backwards.

>>21629847
It may also be that people only post "throwaway" material here, stuff that they either do not want credit for or do not mind if it remains anonymous. If you wrote an amazing piece, you would want your name attached, if you wrote some schizo dogshit, ah, what the hell, post it on 4chan

>>21633252
meant for
>>21633213

>>21633271
https://discord.gg/hMGHudhC
Just don't be a sperg please

>>21629894
Congrats!

>>21633539
>discord
Cringe

Is there a guide on the correct formatting for dialouge? I can't figure out when I'm supposed to use a period or a comma.

>>21633605
no pals?

>>21633612
>"blah," x said.
one sentence. comma.
>"blah." x did a thing.
two sentences. period.

that's it

>>21633668
I realized this a minute after I posted it but thank you regardless.

>>21631459
Picrel claims someone has to practice for 10,000 hours to become a virtuoso.
I don't know of any other attempt to answer this question definitively.

>>21631600
The real question is why graphic artists feel so threatened by Stable Diffusion when its generations contain so many errors.
These artists must have a low opinion of their skills.

>>21633690
Not to GET good you dunce, how long does it take for you the listener to know if the player is any good.

>>21631721
Write down your ideas.
I use an outline editor called TreeLine for that purpose.
It's free and open-source, too.
I get my ideas out of my head, and organize them with successive refinements.

>>21632037
I'm very productive writing early in the morning, but I usually can't get up that early.

>>21633705
If you're going to be rude, I'm not going to try to help you.

>>21633734
It was a rhetorical question you fucking retard.

>>21633744
so is there an IRC server/channel or not?

so where did all these wannabe discord trannies roll in from?

>>21633833

>>21633884
>online terrorist organization
so is it a terrorist organization or not?

>>21633884
Is that shit for real?
If so...I'm never going anywhere near Discord.
What a bunch of normie chickenshit conformists.
Please tell me that's a joke.

>>21633903
>>21633951
The dev team is also full of trannies and they have bad tos like youre not allowed saying bad words or you get terminated.

>>21630623
It's really not hard if you know your genre (Horror) what your protagonist will be (a writer from Maine) and how you want your story to end.

/wg/, what are your favorite descriptions of hard sex? Mine is "dicked down."

>>21633987
"Broken but blissful"

>>21633966
Thanks for the insight.
Discord is dead to me.

>>21630623
One of the best methods I've ever encountered for writing a novel was the Snowflake Method.
https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/
It probably helps that I'm a software engineer like him.
Picrel is good for general knowledge of how to write effective fiction.

>>21630592
/lit/ can be extremely brutal, just learn to laugh it off.

Channel Gardner. He is the perfect /lit/ author.

>>21630756
Life can be counter-intuitive... the only true advice a writer can give to another is "just write", because if you are not writing, you have given up.

>>21629847
I read your post and I had to ask myself, does this anon live life?

So much of what makes human beings the wonderful and bizarre creature we are, is the fact that some of us follow our hearts without care for the consequences, we dare to just live and experience, soaking up the moment for what it is. If we all acting in ways that would benefit us in the long term while sacrificing short term gratification, the word "hangover" would never exist.

The very reason many of us write is -because- it is hard. Life is easy if you simply comply and do your 9-5 job and never wallow in self-pity or take a moment for introspection and analyze what your life-suit is doing in the overall scheme of things. If you don't sit back and take a moment to digest where you are and what you're doing, life can fly by and you can wake up at 50 years old alone, without kids, without any legacy. Think of how many people by 2040 will have had no kids, no body of work, no nothing to point at and say "I did this" outside of an excel spreadsheet or a job they hated but tolerated because it put a roof over their heads and food on their plate, all while their tax dollars funded the very shit that they hate but never had the balls to speak up against.

If you simply follow along with what you're supposed to do and how you're supposed to be an adult, chances are, you'll have a decent life and be able to experience most things that people work towards. A career, a place to live, a community, (maybe a family), a sense of belonging. However, in this wild and turbulent world we live in, more and more of us want to create some inertia from our lives, some pragmatic direction in life that might not make sense to others, but once you have your mind set on a destination, writers cannot help themselves and will sacrifice to reach that end. We see it time and time again over the history of writers, mad men(and women, no they/thems)who have pushed the boundaries of common sense to finish a manuscript without any guarantee that a single soul will read it.

You have to think of writing in a similar vein to mountaineering. What motivated green boots to climb Everest? What do you think went through his mind in his last moments, freezing to death in that shallow cave? He could have easily had a job, maybe a career, a family, a normal life at sea-level, just happily enjoying this mortal coil. What made that man risk his life to accomplish something that maybe a handful of people would witness?

Godspeed to the brave writers of /lit/ who continue to push forward despite all of the hate and negativity thrown at them. We who write to no audience are the most based of them all.

>>21630600
Seconding the other anon. While there may be bad pieces of writing here, I've seen perfectly serviceable pieces, and some that are even good, be called complete trash by people here that like can't write any better.

>>21634265
>I've seen perfectly serviceable pieces, and some that are even good,
Name one in this thread.

>>21629921
>>21634271
Would you like to post some good writing?

>>21634280
>>21634271
/wg/ is still full of crabs in buckets, psueds who hate anyone who even tries to perform in this dead medium. Just make TikToks about pop culture bullshit and turn into a they/them and you'll find success much easier than if you write and speak from your soul.

>any critiques on this passage?

Her hair came down her shoulders like black silk. Her brown eyes widened, her lips, rosy with makeup, separated, but no sounds came out of her mouth. Nothing came to mind. Her small hands played with the hair that laid on her shoulders. As the excitement slowed she turned her head down, and then away, her eyes following some imaginary trajectory until they looked back at him. But he just stood there. She walked up to him and grabbed his sleeve, the smell of citrus and flowers filling his air. He followed the weak pull of her fingers as she led him away.

>>21633700

>>21630623
Every writer tries to weed out competition. Fat faggot Brandon Sanderson made a video telling people to give up. There are novelists who weren't publish until they were 50 but year bro you should totally give up.

>>21634296
I think that writing from the soul is the best thing you can do, and while success may be important to some, I want the people here to write, learn from others, and write better. But the crab in a bucket mentality is poison to any community of people like this. I've always felt the point of /wg/ is to discuss writing, improve yours, and help to improve others'. I just wish we were kinder to others

>>21634265
Noone who writes with a little effort is getting called shit and ngmi. They get criticism and are expected to come back with better results. The ones who can't read their text before posting are rightfully called retards. I got such reactions myself when I was younger and inexperienced, not here but still. Just deal with it and put in some effort.

>I was raped as a kid so a little raping now and then is fine, trust me!
bunch of ptsd having fuckers in here

>>21634298
>the smell of citrus and flowers filling his air
Weird phrasing
>He followed the weak pull of her fingers as she led him away.
He was led away by a weak pull? Doesn't logically follow.
>like black silk
Trite expression. Reading it doesn't spark any joy.
>Her brown eyes widened, her lips, rosy with makeup, separated, but no sounds came out of her mouth
Awkward sentence structure with clashing flow
>Nothing came to mind
Seems out of place

In terms of substance, it's rather boring and bland. Nothing in this paragraph makes me want to continue reading

>>21634298
>separated
Try "split"
>her small hands
She's either a fairy or a child, otherwise it's ridiculous.
>and then
Lmao.
>trajectory
Using technical terms now?

>>21634379
Agree 100%

>>21634420
Why are you a fucking snowflake? Is this trolling?

>>21634421
>Weird phrasing
sounds good to me
>He was led away by a weak pull? Doesn't logically follow.
you can't be this autistic?
>Trite expression. Reading it doesn't spark any joy.
I know, I should come up with better way to describe smooth hair
>Awkward sentence structure with clashing flow
I might get rid of the "of her mouth part"
>Seems out of place
yes might get rid of it and the "he just stood there" part
>>21634425
>Try "split"
I like separated
>her small hands
people can't have small hands?
>Lmao.
why you lmao?
>Using technical terms now?
maybe it sounds better with path

>>21634459
>sounds good to me
Well, that's part of the problem...and something you need to fix. Why are you asking for advice if you think you know better?

>you can't be this autistic?
If your expression doesn't logically make much sense, then it's not good, anon.

>>21634483
are you autistic? I feel like you're autistic

>>21634484
No, but I do edit for a living, so it's my job to point out issues in writing. Whether or not you choose to take my advice is entirely up to you

>>21634484
I'll agree with that other anon. I know what you're saying but weak pull misses. how about gentle insistence

>>21634488
>>21634498
weak pull works! I will die on this hill

>>21634488
I hope you actually work.

Back in 2019 I became friends with a somewhat renowned editor in Canada. One day, after a bunch of drinks, she admitted that she outsourced all of her editing on Fiverr and literally did not even read half of the edits. She makes about 250k a year, by the way. I was so disgusted, but I laughed it off. She moved to the USA and, as far as I know, is continuing her grift. She's somewhat well-known in the literary community. She only personally edits maybe 1 in 10 of her gigs.

>>21634459
>people can't have small hands?
"Small" is a big word. It means small. Your description creates a grotesque image.
>why you lmao?
Because you aren't supposed to include words with the same meaning.

>>21634298
I think it might be better to post a slightly longer passage, and while the initial description is not how I would write it, the description may work in the broader context of your story. I think your writing is fine. Just keep writing.

>>21634515
saying small hands lets the reader know she's not a tranny

>>21634515
plenty of women have small hands
in fact the first thing I do when I look at a woman is to see if I can fit her fingers into my mouth and then, subsequently, her hand into my anus

>>21634530
Hmm... based.

Gardner?

>>21634202

>>21631941
Thanks I'll check it out.

>>21634060
do "writer self-help" stuff like count as meta-fiction or non-fiction? lol

>>21634060
Nice book, but it's from 1965. I doubt the advice on "how to sell" has remained relevant

>>21629847
>Taxi Driver or Fight Club
You forgot to mention American Psycho

>>21630036
There is no good or bad point of view, at the most fundamental level they're all equally shit. Pic related.
What you do with any of these is far more important than whatever copes people will come up with to defend their preferred perspective; but if you do choose one then it should be a strength to your work rather than a detraction from it.
With that said if you can only write in 3rd person limited that's okay bud, at least it's not 1st person, r-right?

>nigga

https://www.wattpad.com/story/334072225?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Achilles2403&wp_originator=oSNflq3M3fxuYYHt4SwRkRS5e9OpTowi%2BlntNUAnCKJ8UlHZ8lNpde2E03k8KYl4KZDeGIZrg4wQSiaY0%2F0bq1iuI1tMGnClEP3%2BT6toNfZu5%2BtkZLiUBKF%2BWBqfu4K5

https://pastebin.com/913bCddh

>>21635735
Fucker. Don't give porn a comedic name. I almost read it.

>>21630027
i guess getting stinky girls who are 8 years old mentally but with the consciousness/morality of an SS officer turned rat after the war , not even for the sake of sexual gratification , but as a boast against other losers on the internet is worth plugging out of your life for and becoming a full-time pretender/liar

>>21635747
My only real criticism is whether or not a lot of these info dumps are necessary, especially the one at the beginning where the MC is in a greenhouse and for some reason I have to know everything about it going back to 4 centuries as well as the magical academy where this building is situated, which we haven't even seen in any capacity. To me it just reads that you gave a lot of thought to this and now you must share it regardless of whether it's opportune or not. If the MC is taking care of the greenhouse at that moment then it makes sense to mention how it's an old building but stuff about the academy has no place being there if it's completely unrelated to what's going on; either make it relevant by reading some letter about it or something or save it for later. Similarly if the greenhouse is important and will be a recurrent location then you can say more about it later, whatever appreciation the MC has for it from being the one that takes care of it and got it built to begin with, would be better conveyed by actions and a little bit of exposition rather than it being projectile vomited on the reader within the first couple of paragraphs.
Besides that there's only one nitpick from something that I skimmed over that goes
>Awstero stared blankly. She was very beautiful.
I would say that this is a bit redundant (you showed it, why tell it?) and that there's other ways to convey this as well as the advice above to delay certain things to add more depth to your characters and retroactively make sense to the audience once you elaborate on them. So showing that she's beautiful a while longer and avoiding these inner monologues about how beautiful she is would give a bigger payoff to her character, while at the same time you can show that he's interested/simping for her without leaning on too much on her beauty unless this is intentionally meant to be a shallow sort of one sided attraction that he hopelessly has; nonetheless you could still say that she was perfect without going on about her appearance and it'd still work for the purposes of showing the MC simping. Beauty especially can be seen as a shallow reason for love so if the only trait you keep hammering on is beauty it can detract from anything else you're building her character to be (although you can also do the opposite for a different kind of payoff where a character/the mc's thoughts aren't as shallow as they seem).
Hope any of this was useful.

>>21634298
You should try to think of description as an efficient transmission of new information to the reader. The key here is efficiency and novelty. The reason other anons here call this trite, bland, etc. is because there is little to no new information offered here. We read to learn. Either to learn about real things or about the fictional things you've created (such the plot or the characters or setting). We know hair is black. We know lips are rosy. There's not enough context to learn anything new from her silence and her play with her hair. The smell of citrus is almost new, but again, without any context we learn nothing from it.

I agree with the other anon, this could be good with more context. Even the cliched stuff can be engaging if it comes as new information, i.e as contradiction or surprise to something established earlier or as a setup for the same, later. Suppose the context is that the young woman is a very austere person with a commanding "type A" personality, who never lets her hair down, wears frumpy, utilitarian clothing, and scorns romance. Or suppose this is the setup, the establishment of the context, and what follows is the young man telling her that he loves somebody else.

Now that I've written my manuscript and did a first draft edit. What do I do now with it?

>>21635899
Maybe I'll rewrite the intro. It's just that I have to
describe an unusual building one way or the other.
>I would say that this is a bit redundant
The real point is that the back and forth dialog needs an awkward pause there, and a short description gives the reader two beats before the next line. Stating her beauty so plainly implies that all other thoughts have vanished from his mind.

>>21636031
Can you make money out of it?
>yes
Google "how to publish on Amazon"
>no
Give us a good example of your text and move higher after some critique. Better to chose something that doesn't require previous knowledge and not too long.

>>21636031
I would think to get a few beta readers. Work on something else while they read and then plan to do a more final pass once they get feedback to you.

I'm a few steps behind but might do a read in exchange for future read - what's you're genre?

>>21636208
YA fantasy! My favorite genre! But I don't think it's dark or romantic enough. There isn't really a love story in it.

How should a story about the Sun falling in love for the Moon end?
>Sun gets rejected and very sad and burns so strong it melts itself down
>Sun gets rejected and his heart freezes, continue living apathetically
>Sun gets rejected, very sad and stops shining so the Moon altruistically try to motivate him to burn again
>Sun gets rejected and burns so strong in anger that destroys everything around him, bounded to live alone for eternity

>>21636410
Sun gets accepted but because of their vast distances they can only unite a few times per year (during solar eclipses) the rest of the time they pine for each other trapped in their domains of day and night.

>what do you think?

She opened her mouth slightly. As if to think, she placed one finger on her bottom lip and put her elbow on the chairs armrest. Long strands of brown hair settled on her stomach as her other arm moved between her thighs, an armani bag settling comfortably to her side in all the movement.

She looked him playfully in the eyes. He looked down at the arm sleeve of a designer jacket to a skinny hand with veins. Then further down to a black skirt that promised to show everything along her pale white thighs but was three centimeters too long. He returned to her face, disappointed, her finger now pointing to a smile.

>>21636496
It's cool. a little bit too descriptive for my taste, but cool. Are all those details really important?

>>21636514
I'm working on my descriptions
details about people and places is what drags you into a story so I can write about how fucked up the world is

>>21636496
Considering you ignored everyone's advice on your previous passage, it seems there's no point to helping you.

>>21636627
hey
if you have nothing to say don't @ me, thanks

another good evening to you friends, I hope the words flow easily tonight.
I'm on my final rewrite tonight. I've tried to really go detailed with the outline so I don't get distracted and start from the beginning.

>>21636742
I don't understand. if you've already written several draft why are you still playing around with outlines?

>>21636758
they weren't full drafts. furthest I got was about 60% through. you ever have that moment where you notice a big plot hole that you can't just fix on an edit and causes you to go back and rewrite? I was getting that a lot and my original outline was too sparse, so I rewrote that.

>>21636270
>YA fantasy
What makes it YA? What is YA?!

>>21636208
It's incredibly hard to find beta readers if you don't write genre schlock.

>>21636771
>you ever have that moment where you notice a big plot hole that you can't just fix on an edit and causes you to go back and rewrite
no, nothing so drastic, but I have an excellent memory so I generally keep most stuff straight. edits, some more extensive than others, suffice.

>>21636826
that's worked for me before, but this one has changed so much in the process of writing it that I knew my original outline was basically a different story to what I now wan

>>21636773
Young adult! It makes it YA because there's sex scenes but it isn't explicit and I use a lot of black out effects! Then there's more young adult themes like how incest is an abomination to nature. It also touches on environmentalism and progress. Lots of deaths too! But I am missing out on the dark elements and mystery romance.

> Pastebin’s SMART filters have detected potentially offensive or questionable content in your Paste.The content you are trying to publish has been deemed potentially offensive or questionable by our filters, because of this you’re receiving this warning. This Paste can only be published with the visibility set to "Private".
??????
What do I use instead?

>>21636866
lol what did you write? Post the part that you think is causing it here

>>21636848
>Lots of deaths
>I am missing out on the dark elements
huh, yeah, okay, I see

>>21636905
You don't understand. The dark elements are stuff like assassinations, gloomy magic, betrayal, deaths, disfiguration etc.

>>21636887
he probably said a no no word. but why is pastebin, of all things, being a moral nanny? fucking joke

>>21636909
I don't understand, you're right. YA sounds like it's meant for regular adults.
>but there's no explicit smut
most adult literature glosses over explicit smut

>>21636932
That's why mine is young adult and not new adult

IM NOT A BOT WHAT THE FUCK AAAAA
https://justpaste DOT it/a4z0z
>>21636887
I have no fucking clue why. I saw people posting YA so I wanted to share the ch.1 that I had sitting around
>>21636914
Since when did they start doing that?
The chapter doesn't have any chud elements or wrong think, I have no fucking clue what it's trying to censor out

>>21636947
I liked the descriptions and the way it reads

but the story didn't hit me right, felt like you are going for something but it feels a little contrived, like this guy obsessively looked to make a ritual work wouldn't notice something in a video footage but this girl who just found out she is dead would?

Also young adult wise I would cut most of these characters as it feels like there's about to be an orgy instead of healthy YA stuff (whatever that is) just doesn't feel wholesome

I had a revelation, it troubles me. I have witnessed my muse once again, and she played me. Only winking at me after I have went through with her machinations. She left her presence in one of the core characters of my current work. Can't believe I didn't see it before this day. I don't think I can continue with that. The character is not a passing image, it's not a masterful representation of beauty either. Just some weird pretty girl. I have dared to even give her meaning. With all the audacity my unconscious has made her a metaphor for art. My own muse in a grotesque form of a character that is not even fully her, with such vulgar symbolism. Isn't it insult to her and myself? My draft is 13 pages in, maybe 30-50 more to go. I can't write it, best if I delete it completely.

>>21637068
post just a tiny little snippet please

>>21637068
vulgarity is truth
don't gyp your readers with bullshit

>>21637047
Thanks bro
The intent of the story was to be sort of tongue in cheek about perceptions of young love. Teenaged boys are retarded and obsessive and self destructive, and the way they interface with love is fucked up. I wanted to write to how young men obsess over women, but that it isn't the love they need but just something to push for and a way to assert their self dignity
The plot events would be a monster of the week type thing, except the monsters would be succubuses that the three bitchy ghost girls neg and bully and abuse trying to find a way to revive. More of just YA in aesthetics and presentation than content

Don't think I'll finish it because I don't feel tapped into that obsessive sort of feeling anymore

>>21637113
gonna be honest with you
switch it to erotica and post it as porn, feel like there is a lot of money in this passage

>>21637086
Fuck it, first chapter is without her.
https://pastebin.com/3HQZPwzn

>>21629816

>>21637291
Yes, but the breasts... Are perfect

>>21636947
>latin cum
kek
not bad

New
>>21637452
>>21637452
>>21637452

>>21629894
Congrats anon!

>>21636866
Just set it to private. The link will still work. It just stops people from searching for it.

>>21634202
This is just pure cope. I wasn't asking why people here write, I was asking why everyone's writing is so bad and why it's almost always the same couple of stories being told. I don't expect all or even most writers here to be good, but they shouldn't ALL be this bad. I spent about a year on this board never really engaging with /wg/, so when I finally did, it was surreal seeing all the so-called intellectuals all sharing one braincell when it came to actually writing something themselves.

If you enjoy writing just for fun and have no intention of publishing that's A-okay, but if you want to write something worth reading you have to reckon with feedback and constructive criticism even when the going gets rough. Most of the criticism on this board sucks too, unfortunately; that's inevitable because it's the blind leading the blind.

>does this anon live life?

Yes; I've published two novels and I'm working on the third, feedback for my current WIP has been phenomenal. I'll probably shill the hell out of it here when I publish it since it's a massive improvement from my first two novels. This board is terrible for writing advice, but at least whenever I have any doubts about whether my writing is up to snuff I can come here and instantly feel better upon seeing how much worse it could be.

I've also seen (rarely, but I have seen them) perfectly decent writing get torn to shreds on this board, which makes me think there's some crab-bucketing going on here.

>>21635648
It's not marketing your book; it's about writing fiction that keeps readers interested and hooked.
And that hasn't changed.

>>21636866
catbox.moe

>>21634130
>>21634583
Nobody wants to talk about you, Frank.