/lit/ - Literature

>>21586890
Do you think this year will go better or worse for you than last year?

>>21586926
For myself personally? Although the trend seems to be towards fading to black, optimism leads to aspirational behavior. So I choose to believe I will make life better. Realistically, since each year is the same except for the introduction of some uncontrollable misfortune I expect the status quo to be maintained.

In the world at large? Things will continue to fall apart. I expect a worsening of the crisis in world capitalism, more natural disasters, economic immiseration of the lower classes, supply chain "disruptions" political unrest, and the spreading of wings of the ascendant dark angel of war. The beating of the hooves of the Four Horsemen can be heard rumbling in the distance, ever so gradually getting louder.

>>21586926
Doesnt seem like it.

>>21586890
does anybody here want to be my friend ?

>>21586926
Hard to say. Economically, I did pretty well last year and so far this year has gone sour on that front, but the year is still young so we'll see. As for my life socially, physically and mentally speaking I'm optimistic. I've recently increased my weekly exercise time, I've restarted trying to learn playing the piano, I'm generally speaking at peace and happy, I'm hopeful I'll be able to get fruitful interactions with my family and friends. I could always be more energetic and driven but I think that will develop over time with habits.

>>21586926
Idk man, I'm stuck on night shift until God knows when, and my urologist says the mass on my kidney is solid and maybe cancerous. Getting MRI results on Tuesday. On the bright side I'm meeting a girl today for a first date. Hopefully I don't say something retarded like I usually do.

How many holes have you punched in a wall over your lifetime?

>>21586996
Zero. What about you?

>>21586996

I will be your friend. I don't have any real friends.

>>21586996
good question, at least a dozen.

>>21586996
I punched a brick wall and broke two metacarpals.

>>21586996
None, but I did bloody my knuckles really bad on a brick wall after a total fucking bullshit death that ended my killstreak in Battlefield Bad Company 2 in 2011.

Shakespeare helped me re-discover my love of reading and re-reading modern works by Decartes and Hobbes helped me jump-start my brain back into its naturally curious state. I am very happy.

>>21587137
That's great, I love those rejuvenations as well and Shakespeare is really good at it.

I need to quit weed
I don't want to quit weed
I will quit weed though

Been saying this for so long

I'm 40.

>>21587312
hows your life so far? any regrets?

>>21587345

Nothing but regret. Keep on keeping on etc

>>21587301
>I need to quit weed
Why?

>>21585720
>>21587369

>>21587349
what does your current life look like? wife and family?

I'm not sure I just want to read straight up fiction that has nice prose or clever plots.
Reading philosophy isn't very interesting either especially when it is written by cloistered academics and sheltered boys.
I like Tolkiens prose, his general ideas and ways of thinking. But I don't have any interest in the fantasy writers that came after him nor in fantasy as a whole. I'm not sure who I should read

My family is part of a cult and I worry that once they find out I don't believe in it anymore they'll disown me.

>>21586926
it is already shit, much like the last one

please God, end this pain, finish this, once and for all
I can't take it any longer, I just ask you to end this, to relieve me from all of this
Please, I beg you, I'd do anything, just free me

Fellow /pol/sters, I want you to listen carefully and in an unbiased manner.
Imagine if Native Americans decided to revolt against White America. They say that North America is their rightful homeland, that they deserve to possess their country and that Whites are invaders. They receive military funding from South America, and using missiles they destroy hospitals, homes, and nurseries, and they kill many "white invaders." Would you say that they are in the wrong? It IS their homeland. They neither chose to be born in America, nor did Whites choose to be born in America. They both want to live, but who would you say is doing more evil?
This is very similar to the case in Israel, except I would be tempted to say that Jews have a greater claim to their territory; Jews don't have a homeland other than Israel. Not only this, but I would say that Jews are typically snobby and arrogant, whereas the Palestinians killing innocent Jews are downright violent. None of this absolves Jews of their current crimes against native populations in the US and Europe, but if you want to criticize Israel, you will be forced to criticize your own colonial past. That is, if you have even a shred of ideological consistency.
That doesn't mean you should simp for Jews. Certainly the ones in your own lands criticizing YOU and asking that YOU give up YOUR land should be criticized and/or expelled, but you shouldn't have a blind hatred for all things Jewish. Jews are people and they aren't inherently evil. Be reasonable, be kind, love your own people, and love your enemies (even if they're Jews), but don't be afraid to fight back against them if it means saving your own. Just don't be an angry little meme kid and I think things will work out alright.

I'm not sure which held my attention longer yesterday while waiting for the light to turn green. The jeep being loaded onto a wrecker to my left or the septic tank truck with the slogan on the back, "A straight flush is better than a full house"

Is the average (You) count on your /lit/ posts indicative of your literary talent?

>>21586890
I semi researched almost all things, from conspiracies to physics, biology, politics and arts and in my opinion, existence itself for me personally it's about self interests, and I don't mean being selfish but do what you like, do what you enjoy, make a living out of it, and that's kind of it. As for what happens after death, no one knows.

>>21587499
As long as you are able to stay away from them and have a life for yourself outside them, everything will be good, DONT STAY WITH THEM

>>21587697
No, you need to get better and find your calling, the pain ends only when you find your enjoyment and freedom. As long as it's not some crazy shit

>>21587758
No. It is indicative of how good you are at making people angry. For instance, a once guaranteed way to get (You)'s that I was very fond of was suggesting that James Joyce is a very bad writer compared to Virginia Woolf who is the superior modernist - not only does this piss people off because you must not challenge the status of Joyce as the GOAT, it also pisses off the misogynists, who absolutely cannot stand that a woman is talented.

>>21586926
It will be much harder. I'll spend the entire latter half of the year studying for the CPA exam while working full-time. I'm worried that I'll lose progress in everything I care about, and won't be able to read, exercise, or do anything creative. It could take six months to a year of studying to pass depending on how many times I have to take it.

>>21587371
It's killing my motivation, and I use too much

> ratiocinate

The fuck? I usually like learning new words, but this one is ass

>>21587826
Am I correct in assuming you don't get many (You)s?

>>21586890
fukker

For the life of me I do not understand why there are so many posters on /lit/ that fantasize that they are somehow better than the "chud" and "basement dwellers" who "probably smell like socks" --it's the single worst thing about this board. They are either children or redditors who come here to feign superiority over the mythical chud, sworn enemy of all those who smell nice.

>>21586890
I have something I need to do for tomorrow and I can't bring myself to work. It's 9PM right now where I live. I guess I will wait till the fear of failure becomes too overwhelming to ignore, probably deep into the night. I'm always praised for my works, which is much often the cause of jealousy and contempt by my peers who have seen how lazy and autistic I am in my everyday life. Some have realized that I simply don't sleep in order to maintain such heights and have sympathy for me. I won't lie to you all; college is killing me. Unlike my exes, I don't have the natural talent nor the dilligence to be studying in high-level classes. I've been fighting against my fated end since day one. Sacrificing sleep or living like an owl is the only real way I can achieve the required state of mind to be among the bests. I wish I was the kind of extovert genius everyone thinks I am.

>>21588137
Chud is the new chad. Get over it.

I dont know if Im avoidant or schizoid.

>>21586926
Its all downhill from here bro

>For all his life, Leo Tolstoy (1828–1910), a nobleman and humanist, struggled with obsessive lust for women. “I have to sleep with women. Otherwise, lust doesn’t give me a single spare minute,” he wrote in his diary in 1853. He had sexual relations out of wedlock with many women – from nobles to peasants – and had to be treated from venereal diseases at least twice.
>Combined with high moral standards (which Tolstoy set himself but constantly failed to observe) this all led to a permanent sense of guilt. His diaries are full of penitential notes: “I’m disgusting”. After marrying his wife Sofia in 1862 he settled down – and in 1890 even wrote The Kreutzer Sonata, a novella criticizing the whole notion of sexual relations and calling for chastity.
Why the fuck does this happen? He's literally me. Does this mean I'm a great man?

>>21586996
Zero because I'm not a cunt

>>21587301
Is there a sequel to that comic

>>21587499
>no Mom I don't want to go to churh today!

>>21586890
I unironically worship the Sun and the Moon

>>21588359
you're not schizoid, you're probably not avoidant either, you probably just have social phobia.

>>21586890
I don’t know where to go from here

>>21586996
three in the walls and one in a door
one was due to DOTA. it was a deeply dark time where I was very depressed. Then things got way worse

>>21588410
What makes you think that?

>>21588435
if you have to ask whether you are schizoid then you are not schizoid. if you have a single friend or are close with anyone in your family then you probably do not have a personality disorder and from my experience literally everyone who claims to be so fucking lonely has at least one semi-normal relationship.

>>21588401
>okay anon you're going to wear this funny robe and nothing else and then an old man is going to rub blessed oil on your no no square
>now you're going to learn secret handshakes you can use to identify angels and then pantomine disemboweling yourself and slitting your throat if you ever reveal the secrets you've been shown
>okay now out on a ridiculous green apron and a chefs hat
>now join us in an Eyes Wide Shut-style prayer circle
>remember, our founder and prophet came up with these ceremonies by looking at a rock in a hat so they're definitely holy and sacred and not a ripoff of freemasonry
>if you question this you should doubt your doubts and pray really hard to have a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest like you're drinking a hot drink (but don't actually drink those or you will go to hell because thats a sin)
>no we're not a cult wtf are you talking about

>>21588467
I don't think there's any kind of Christianity that does any of this

>>21588472
You're right.

>>21588454
Im just good at prentending. Im a 30 year old khv so thats not normal. I cant relate even to family friends.

>>21588477
why are you being mean to me?

>>21588489
I'm agreeing with you.

>>21588498
Nope

>>21588505
Okay.

I'm getting more and more convinced that I'm a vulnerable narcissist.

>>21588467
Is that actually what Mormons do

>>21588302
Handshake, think about your self interests, and what you want from this life, maybe all this hardwork will help you make tons of money and with that money, you can do whatever you love to do, I'm personally fucked because I didn't put in the work and now I'm stuck working as slave while I work on some creative stuff when I have the time. I hope it gets better for you and see the light of the tunnel.

>tfw reading translated poetry

>>21586926

>>21586926

my ex-girlfriend and i broke up because of distance and stress in August, we spoke about getting back together earlier this month but agreed we needed to get ourselves together first.

this year i have something to work toward, and while she can't promise me anything, we both hoped we'd be together again sometime.

>>21588557
You only do the ceremony once, but yes. Afterwards you're considered "endowed" and need only to get married (in a similarly secretive and bizarre ceremony) in order to get into the highest part of Mormon Heaven, according to public doctrine. This is a big reason why LDS populations tend to go from first meeting to marriage so fast. Of course, your ticket to Super Mormon Heaven can be revoked if you're a bad goy and you drink coffee or ask the wrong questions or stop paying into the church's $124 billion slush fund- er, paying tithing.
If you're a good goy who pays his tithing and does the dog and pony show long enough - and more importantly, you have a high-paying job and get called to a high-ranking church leadership position - you'll get invited to something called "second annointing" where you're promised to get into Super Mormon Heaven regardless of what sins you commit in life short of murder, and also promised a ruling position in Super Mormon Heaven over the uninitiated goys who didn't get invited, as well as infinite wives.
Wanna leave? You have to send a specific request to church HQ to take you off their membership records, and they won't delete your contact info even if you do this so you'll get random calls and visits from missionaries for years afterwards.

>>21586926
Arbitrary boundaries

Any good books about charisma, public speaking, how to control a room, etc.?

>>21585561

I don't think she's being malicious but she is being indecisive. You're right I need to put my foot down.

just had another body massage, I think I became addicted

>>21588696
was that a body massage or a "body massage"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww3GTNv9hHk

>>21588744
it was with sexy time at the end ye

>>21587483
Please someone help please please end thus pain

If you hear "god of retardation," what comes to mind? A retarded being with infinite power, an infinite being who is protector of retards but not retarded himself, both, a being with ultimate powers who associates with nonsensical concepts, a being with the ultimate power to slow things down, an insult for a person who is really dumb and not a god at all, or what?

>>21588784
How hard is it to find joints that do those? Are all the women disgusting or can you find one with cute girls?

Are stripclubs even a thing anymore or has this puritan woman worshiping society regulated them into not even being worth it anymore?

>>21588798
>If you hear "god of retardation," what comes to mind?
Literally some down syndrome kid in a black costume with a flowing cape doing a dramatic hovering entrance with his hands all crackling with energy like in a capeshit movie. He's smiling all jolly and says something like "HYNNUUUUU!!"

>>21588798
a violent lovecraftian deity that exists as a quirk in the universe and commits completely random acts of ultimate violence

>>21588798
The spirit that is common to retards and retardation.
Just before a pilot lands a plane the plane yells out an incantation to the god of retardation.

>>21586996
Smashed a house up once over unpaid debts.
Bit of plaster in t'eye for a bit after that, was awful.
cunt

I'm tall and cute. Why can't I get a gf

>>21589175
love is something you have to work for

What's better, an IT job at a company with 40 000 employees or with 400?

>>21589186
I dont want love I want a gf

What are you supposed to do when you want to check up on someone you've initiated the break up with? It seems like it's always bound to be framed as "asshole is looking for something" instead of a well intentioned dialogue, and understandably so. I feel really bad about cutting away all contact after ending things, maintaining radio silence for a year with not even one single sent text. I still care a lot about her despite making it seem so cold. I don't know where she resides these days, but part of me wants to find her and drive down to look around irl, see how she seems to be doing first before attempting to make my presence known. I realize how stalker-y that plan sounds, but I would much rather take an aggressive response to my face than have it be online and keep speculating about 90% of her reaction on my own, because body language is crucial in these kinds of situations. I don't want to get back together or make any promises, I just want to know she's doing good now with an opportunity to apologize in the way that I never have during our time together, because it's the very least that I owe her. The other issue is that due to the lack of contact, I don't know how she really took the breakup, and therefore I don't know she perceives me. She already had built-up trauma from years of familial abuse, and she loses her temper very quickly once something potentially threatening or reminding her of intense emotional pain comes up in front of her. I'm afraid of having turned into that type of catalyst for a harmful reaction at this point, and I wouldn't want to inflict any harm upon her, despite it being unintentional. Maybe I should just observe from afar.
For the record there was no cheating involved, it just disintegrated out of frustrations and complete lack of experience. As pathetic as it sounds, I absolutely didn't know how to handle it.

>>21589247
>What are you supposed to do when you want to check up on someone you've initiated the break up with?
Either call them or don't. Sometimes not knowing or letting them reach out on their own is better.
>I don't know how she really took the breakup, and therefore I don't know she perceives me. She already had built-up trauma from years of familial abuse, and she loses her temper very quickly once something potentially threatening or reminding her of intense emotional pain comes up in front of her
She took it fucking bad, then probably met another guy she had sex with and went over you. Women are known for these kinds of things.
If you really want to talk to her that bad just fucking call her and you will get to see for yourself.

I just looked at the catalog. The state of this shit hole board.
>cope cope cope
>X sisters... we lost
>oh no no no
>nigga
>how do we cope
>I'm about to end this man's whole career
Why is /lit/ such absolute trash

>>21589362
its somehow still the best board on this site. have you seen the state of /his/? holy shit man. i havent been there in years but i recently checked in. what a disaster

i wish there was a /lit/ board where you had to prove you weren't an undergrad though but at least its not as bad as /sci/ in that regard

I have panic attacks constantly and the slightest misstep is enough to send me into tears. I cry almost every day, often multiple times a day and even when nothing goes super wrong. I could never kill myself but I frequently wish I was never born. I wish I could be erased from existence and my mom and brother's memories of me would be erased as well so they wouldn't have to be sad about it.

So there was this woman and
She was, uh, on an airplane and
She's flying to meet her fiancé
Sailing high above the, the largest ocean
On planet Earth and she was seated
Next to this man who, you know
She had tried to start conversations
And only, really the only thing
She'd heard him say was to order his bloody mary
And she's sitting there and she's reading
This really arduous magazine article about a
Third world country that she couldn't
Even pronounce the-the name of and
She's feeling very bored and very despondent
And then uh, suddenly there's this huge mechanical failure and one of the engines gave out
And they started just falling, thirty thousand feet
And the pilot's on the microphone and he's, he's saying
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Oh My God, I'm Sorry"
And apologizing and, and she looks at the man and she says, she says, she says
"Where are we going?" and he looks at her and he says
"We're going to a party, it, it's a birthday party
It's your birthday party, happy birthday darling
We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much."
And then, uh, he starts humming this little tune and, and uh, it kind of goes like this, it's kind of
One, two, one, two, three, four

PoCbros... this can't be real... no! no no no no! NO!!!!!!!! ALL RACES ARE EQUAL
IT MUST BE. IT MUST

I think I am a crazy person with no understanding of actual emotional faculty but through the inconsistent cycles of hyperarousal I witness in myself from time to time. This occurred recently and I lost sleep. I revisit the stimulus to understand its power is illusory and it is not preferred, and return to the idea that all is interpretation, that I am merely practicing an unproductive narrative. I am unaware of the exact external influence that generates such hyperarousal, whether that be momentary feelings of unwarranted but deep inferiority, or an inability to deal with even brief bouts of failure. And I am posting on a forum of mostly well-read but unsympathetic individuals for insight. I believe psychotherapy is in essence an unqualified individual paid for their impersonal opinions. I believe resilience and detachments are the proper course. I do not know what to do when my interpretations disrupt the life I am attempting to build, creating withdrawal and apathy. Is it force? Is it a granularity I will never see? I doubt I will ever find out. I think I am crazy for using a silly outdated heuristic at my age. Is this preventable? I think something truly horrible needs to happen for me to see the light, like getting into a horrific car accident.

>>21589175
Have you tried searching for one?

I'm getting stronger.

>>21589686
same bruh fr no cap im locked in bruh

>>21589620
Where do boyfriend free girls usually hang out?

>dad and his wife go away for the weekend
>be home alone
>drink alone for two days straight
>dad comes back
>asks why I didnt have anyone over
I don't understand how he hasnt realized that I dont have friends yet

>parents are only showing concern now that im closing in on 30
maybe you should have started giving a shit about me way earlier?

>>21589737
onlyfans

Thoughts on going graduate school at 30-34?

Do you guys have any ideas almost nobody agrees with? Nobody I've known of would agree with my ideology/logico-philosophical ethics system - I'm not even sure there's one such person in the world who would genuinely and wholeheartedly share it. Maybe there's some stupid or gullible people I could convince on a surface level, but in terms of intelligent people, they would all find it stupid and ridiculous and evil and vehemently reject it.

>>21589189
I liked working at a small company more than a big company personally, but you’ll make less in the long run.

>>21586926
Better and I'm not even an optimist.

Why did I have to fall in love with my coworker? Of course it would never work out. Of course.
Now the friendship is stained because I got everything wrong.

Bros, I used to watch this chick back in the day and she was such a paragon of beauty back then. Now she's 37 and looks like a washed up hag. She even speaks slower now and is visibly longer as energetic or springy. It's a real crime that we haven't found a cure for aging yet, a tragedy that we all go through. God fucking damn it. Why aren't we clamoring for an anti aging cure?
https://youtu.be/fIIzuqIRB2g

>>21589985
Our job is to demand solution, not to provide solution

Low key but also high key but mostly low key I'm pretty mentally ill

>>21589787
>dad and his wife

that's why

>>21589787
that might be the saddest story i've seen on 4chan in a while idk why lol

Coughed up blood just now. Don't know if it's related to other things. Going to get a DNR as soon as I can. Looks like things might turn out different from how I expected them to. Maybe God answers prayers.

I didn’t figure out what career to pursue until I was 29.

>be me
>absolute dogshit life, never began for me
>life is suffering
>feel crushed by the overwhelming struggle to escape suffering
>realize im supposed to suffer
>feel better

nice, wish it was raining hard so i could go outside shirtless and let the cold water clean my soul

>>21589247
How long were you together? Why did you choose to end it? Has she made any attempt to contact you since you broke up?

im listening to that television album by that guy who died and it's like solid mid.

>>21589247
ur damaged gf found another guy to use as a way to externally regulate her emotions or she receded inwards again

get over her retard she's not wife or love material, blame her dumbass parents and find someone who can love you that is not just codependent on you

>>21587140
Thanks anon. It is a really peaceful feeling. I’m glad you have felt that way also before.

>>21587483
Someone please respond I've been asking for months

>>21590219
Just read book

>>21590294
proove it

>>21586890
https://vocaroo.com/1nlDRaX3QfKZ

>>21590098
The system doesn't make it easy.
>Forces you to pretend as though you can predict unpredictable and capricious trends in the labor market which even the most informed experts cannot forecast
>Rapid pace of technology quickly invalidates entire fields of work
>You have no way to know if you are a good fit for a field until you try it out; only have one shot anyway
>Society forces clueless 18 year olds to make life defining decisions when they just recently figured out how to wipe their own asses
One's youth should be a period of free exploration and the trying out of possibilities. Not a ruthless quest to pick a career and be assimilated into its hivelike productive structure.

>>21590330
my youth is totally stagnant where I do nothing but cloister myself. I'll never live my life for even a second.
Even if I wanted to start living there is no longer anywhere to do that

>>21590330
also
>you can't just do what you have a natural affinity for unless it happens to make money as well. Otherwise you're shit out of luck. And most forms of employment are unpleasant drudgery, which is why people pay people to do it. So most likely you will have to suck it up and choose some career path begrudgingly that leaves you in a constant state of self-division and existential dissatisfaction and denies you the chance to "follow your bliss."

>>21590339
That's tough, but an extremely common fate. Have you ever thought about how what might liven it up a bit? I'm on call giving lost boys advice on 4chan for the next hour or so, so feel free to open up.

>>21590104
That made me feel better for a while but then it stopped making me feel better and now I feel like shit again

>>21590348
Should I see the college therapist to talk about my lonliness, alienation, and general social incompetence

>>21590348
My only solution is to move and throw myself into society with no safety net but I'm too afraid

>>21590366
Worth a shot. Especially if you don't have to pay for it. You're likely paying out the ass for college anyway. Milk every damn thing you can from that place. Make it serve you.

My experience of therapy is that it is of limited use. Never believe anyone who says a therapist can fix you, and certainly not a therapist. I do think it can be helpful in some cases. But when I went to a therapist, it occurred to me that the cure for me is a check for 10 million dollars. If they had therapists writing those checks, there would be a lot less anxiety and depression in the world. My point is, the solution to your problems in life have to emerge from your own actions and attitudes. A therapist might help change your self-limiting beliefs and bring to your awareness why you are lonely, alienated, and socially incompetent. But at the end of the day, it's up to you to go to a party and learn how to socialize. But you may need help figuring out what's blocking you from doing that.

>>21590381
What do you have going for you? Anything? Looks? Skills? Sense of humor? It can be anything. Lemme hear at least a couple positive attributes about yourself.

Try to imagine yourself succeeding in that scenario if you did take the plunge. What would it look like?

Man I’m having panic attacks daily. I can’t find solace in anything anymore. I really want to give up.

ey ey big dicky uh cum real sticky uh.
finna hit me up one man fifty cocks.

Any movies you know that actually reached the heights of literature?

>>21590423
Ginger Snaps

>>21590423
Tarkovsky or Bergman. Shit will bore the piss off you if you're not in the mood to pay attention though. View it like homework.

>"Is it so awfully unthinkable to conceive of God with one's senses? Why should He conceal Himself in a fog of half-spoken promises and unseen miracles? How are we to believe the believers when we don't believe ourselves? What will become of us who want to believe but cannot? And what of those who neither will nor can believe? Why can I not kill God within me? Why does He go on living within me in a painful, humiliating way, though I curse Him and want to tear Him out of my heart? Why does He remain a treacherous reality of which I cannot rid myself?"

>“I want to confess as best I can, but my heart is void. The void is a mirror. I see my face and feel loathing and horror. My indifference to man has shut me out. I live now in a world of ghosts, a prisoner in my dreams.”

>>21590426
What happened after the circus? You're just dying to talk about it, you mentioned a movie that isn't based on literature. It isn't as if the masons aren't trying to cover it up

How do you find the will to carry on? I went back to church for the first time in six years out of sheer desperation (it didn’t help) and was struggling to hold back tears during the service. I cry on the sidewalk while walking home. I cry in the library while trying to study. It hurts so much that I can’t bear it.

I‘m so scared. Every time I hear footsteps in my hallway I start to panic. There’s construction next door and every time I hear a hammering sound I think they’re knocking on my door again and I hide motionless in bed with the covers over my head, terrified to move or make a sound. When I’m in public I startle whenever anyone walks by. I can’t even write freely about my thoughts anymore because they said they’d take my phone and look through it if they came back. I deleted all of my journals, poems, stories I spent years working on. All gone. Too much of a risk. Writing this is too much of a risk anyway. What else can I do?

My apartment doesn’t feel safe anymore because they could come back here and take me at any moment. Now I spend all day squatting in cafes and libraries, places where they won’t find me, and only come home to sleep for a few hours when I’m too tired to stay out anymore. There’s been no sun in weeks. I dress in layers but I’m always cold. I can’t eat because I feel nauseated all the time. The food in my fridge is rotting. At night I lie awake or spend hours crying in bed. My head hurts. My bedroom ceiling light fixture is broken but I can’t ask the maintenance guy to replace it because my room is such a mess that it’s embarrassing and I’m too tired and slow to get anything in order. So I’m living in the half-dark. My hair is a big tangle. I’m pretty sure I failed my midterm last week because I couldn’t collect my thoughts enough to answer any of the questions coherently.

I can’t go back to the hospital because it doesn’t help and there’s no privacy and there are lots of actually crazy people there who scream and talk to themselves and threaten the nurses and scare me. And the pills don’t help me. The uppers just amp everything up and make my mind race and my obsessive thoughts get even worse and my anxiety increases. The SSRIs make me a fat sluggish zombie. The only ones that work to calm me down are addictive and I have to ration them since my prescription is limited. I don’t even have the money to try drowning my sorrows in alcohol—it makes me sick anyway. Counselling isn’t helping because none of them have understood and they all give the same kind of trite advice. I can’t risk confiding in any of my friends about what I’ve done because I’d be ostracized. I’m so alone.

It was my only comfort, my only distraction. Now there are no comforts left. My thoughts aren’t safe to share anymore. My love will never be requited. My longing will never be satisfied. I’ll never be able to forget. There will be no catharsis. There’s nothing left for me.

>for most of my life I took a bus that passed through streets full of prostitutes
>On my twenties, take it again after a long time
>realize the prostitutes dress more conservatively than women I see on the street and on dating apps
Another story
>ex-gf shows me a bunch of old pictures of her
>in most of them she’s wearing fucking lingerie with her tits hanging out
>ask her why she goes around on her underwear flashing her tits to everyone
>”I do it for myself, besides these aren’t underwear”
>goes quiet for a bit
>”wait, this one actually is. That one too”
The funniest part is that she constantly called other women sluts.
Anyway, I started paying more attention after this and realized most women dress like sluts. For fucks sake, I don’t wanna date a whore or some ex-whore trying to trick me. I’m 25 and already feel I can never hope to date some woman who isn’t promiscuous or didn’t used to be.

>>21590476
What events in your personal life do you think may have caused such hare trigger anxiety? This is a maladaptive and excessively neurotic response to unassuming everyday stimuli.

>>21590366
>>21590381
Don't be afraid to open up. It doesn't make you weak. You have to unlearn that attitude. Women don't have a monopoly on emotional transparency. Don't deny yourself an advantage because of some Hollywood Clint Eastwood stoical bullshit archetype.

Recall if you will how emotionally open Achilles was. He openly wept and fretted when his companion was killed. The ancient Greeks viewed authentic emotion with respect. Alexander the Great , who never lost a battle who probably killed two dozen men single handedly would have committed suicide if he didn't cry unconsolably when his beloved companion Hephaestion died unexpectedly.

>>21590451
>will bore the piss off you
None that are also entertaining?

>>21590512
I'm not the biggest film buff. A good rule of thumb is of course if the movie is critically well regarded and based on a book. That would make it self-evident that the movie matched literature.

I found the film Il Gattopardo, (the Leopard) based on the book of the same name by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa to be absolutely compelling. But I also find the topics of history and fancy historical nobles in fancy rooms and revolutions interesting.

If you're a fan of sci fi and haven't seen Blade Runner it is a rare example of a film based on a movie that exceeds its source material (the competent but autistic Do Androids Dream of Sheep? by Philip K Dick) in terms of its dramatic potency. It still retains the pulpy police procedural dynamic of its source material.

Boredom is relative to your interests and intellectual capabilities. Some people get a hard on for theoretical physics in other words.

>>21590540
>Do Androids Dream of *Electric Sheep

>>21590393
No.
>>21590497
Stoic masculinity is the only option. I gotta be the cowboy. No such thing as emotional baby man

Nate Higgers push his desk away and stand up. The act of the furniture being moved waves inside the officeroom like when a stone is thrown in a pacific and untouched japanese lake, the type which it’s waters feed high grass all around, just grass and no trees, the type of lake with its blueish water decorated only by a lily pad standing alone in the middle, no fishes, maybe just insects whirring along with their wings. Nate Higger’s lake water body was composed by other desks exactly like his, arranged in a fashion touched by nature that made hintable a once professionally measured plan of columns, it’s flaws only given to the eye by the disarray between one desk and another, a byproduct of day to day push and pull exercised on them, a force generally motivated by occupational burnout and withdrawal symptoms on caffeine dependence and tobacco addiction. Nate Higgers fought until defeat, he ignored the color-changing sudden lights, the out-of-nowhere electrical dots pinning through his whole body, the cold and never-dripping microscopical pools of sweat making unbearable freezing those parts when hit by the eventual AC’s changing air from inside out.
Outside the building, he watched clouds rolling in the gray while caffeine put his central nervous system back on track for another round.

>>21590497
that's because they were all gay lovers. Imagine encouraging men to be women

I often think that one day I'm going to be completely unabashed about who I am again. I don't remember when I started caring what anyone thought of me, but I hate that it happened. Pure fucking torment. Now I can't even post the 1000 characters I wrote as a throwaway for a Vietnamese basket weaving forum. I delete it all before it even sees the light of day. It's pathetic.

>>21590570
Straight men would benefit from acting as gay lovers to each other without the ass fucking and cock sucking necessarily. Gay man have many psychological advantages over straight men.

>>21590619
Every gay or bi guy I’ve ever met was passive-agressive, conniving and opportunistic.

>>21590619
this is some weird sodomite shit isn't it. you people think frodo and sam were gay or something

>>21590548
I get it. Have fun with that lol. Have fun being a weird stoical cowboy weirdo who sits in his room all day on the internet tho

>>21590485
I can’t say what happened, but everything in my life (unassuming everyday stimuli) has become unbearable. It’s not just the anxiety (which is justified)—it’s everything. Everywhere I go I look at the other people around me and think “maybe if I looked like her (or her or her) I would’ve been enough for him. Maybe if I looked like her he would’ve loved me.” I do the same thing with faces in movies or YouTube videos or strangers on the street. Even descriptions of characters in books send a sharp stab of pain that make me wince. Everything reminds me that I’ve fucked up and the fallen short in every way. There is no respite. I can’t listen to music anymore. I can’t read the poetry I used to love. It makes the sadness too acute. I brush my teeth with the lights off because it makes me sick to see my own face in the mirror. All I can think is “not enough. nothing special. not very attractive. spell out ****** is stupid.” Everything in this city is coloured by these thoughts and so reminds me of this absence, and it’s so painful that I can’t cope. I don’t think that it’s ever going to be okay.

>>21590631
>just stop being yourself!

>>21590348
I want to move to a new place but I hate cities but I can't survive anywhere else but I don't know where to go. Every place on this world seems barren

>>21590623
Take a look at the culture you inhabit.
>>21590625
>emotions make you a faggot!
You're an imbecile who will end up shooting a school or committing suicide or something because you can't admit you are equipped to solve all your problems independently without support and pretend as though emotions don't have a complex influence on your behavior and decision making. Otherwise you wouldn't be having these problems, would you?

>>21590634
You’re just like me. I have no answers. Nothing works for me. Don’t know how long I can last like this. I hope you get well. I hope I do too.

>>21590644
Never said anything against emotions anon. Re read.

I'm about to take a fairly lengthy trip by car and I'd like to read on the way, however I always tend to get very dizzy once I start reading and can't focus on anything for long enough. I don't normally have any kind of motion sickness, but for some reason I'm unable to stop my eyes from rolling around once I'm on the road, especially if it's bumpy which is most of the time. It'd a be real shame to waste this downtime without any sort of beneficial activity, so I ask you anons if you have any advice/tips to provide in regards to reading on the road.
>>21590423
There's a number of directors that were always focused on crafting transcendental works, even if comparing the two mediums is ultimately counterintuitive I get what you're looking for. Here are some of them:
>F.W Murnau
>Powell & Pressburger
>Abbas Kiarostami
>Mizoguchi
>Pedro Costa
>Visconti
And many, many more to come. In regards to your later comment, I found none of these lads to be particularly boring and I would hope that you don't either. I think it's more beneficial to plunge into cinema with a poetic eye rather than looking for something close to your favorite prose piece, as it's fundamentally built around imagery and abstractions of images, not on text, it's going to have better chance at turning a poem into a visceral experience, whereas emulating a novel for example will come across as that, an emulation. Look at the adaptation for Hearts of Darkness for example, and how little it takes from the original novel in order to jump somewhere else. It just flows differently. Not implying that it cannot or has not been done before, or that one shouldn't attempt to try that, I just personally find that it leans more towards one side than another. Either way, good luck anon, and keep your curiosity alive.

>>21588851
I'm from Kazakhstan and there's shitton of those that offer such services with nice women, come to almaty bro

>>21590655
Thanks for the director recs anon

Why do I already feel so old at 26? I can just see myself wasting the next 4 years of my life because I already feel 'over the hill' so to speak. But then I'll get to 30 and realise how young I was this whole time. At least I am self aware on this point, which means I can work towards living in a way that I won't regret when I'm 30. Yet it is so hard to do ANYTHING. Wage cuckery really kills you.

Location: Scientific observation room. The scientists are looking through the one way glass, at a child. The child has wire like things attached to him. The child is in an all white bright room. His eyes are so used to the bright whiteness that his pupils are completely tiny.
The kid is focused on the toys in front of him. He lifts his hand and moving it in a way that would seem like he is grabbing thin air. The toys that are not in arms reach levitates. Trucks, action figures and plastic shovels all came into one clump and started blending into each other. The clumps in the air started to transform into something human shaped. It turned into a woman. But not just any woman but the observer on the other side of the glass looking in. The scientific researcher woman. The reseachman next to her sees this toy clump reseachwoman clone.
Despite directly being in her face the science woman doesn't flinch because she doesn't see her clone but rather "her own reflection on the glass".

>>21590635
No seriously if that's how you want to be go for it.
I personally have a very stoical attitude and fear opening up but I realize that it incapacitates me.
>>21590634
This is an intense psychological disturbance that demands professional intervention. I am not equipped to advise you. You have a wounded self-image and need to practice self-affirmation to begin to heal it. I would also recommend that you expose yourself to very pleasant and calming environments where you feel safe. You would benefit from exposure therapy as well which would demonstrate to yourself that there is nothing to fear about most things in life.

>>21590639
>I hate cities
Understandable. There are experiences to be had in cities though. Show up for a bit, fuck a few bitches, make a few connections, and if you hate it, move back home. It's not an irreversible decision. What you are worried about is your fear of change, no cities.
> I can't survive anywhere else
You haven't tried to survive elsewhere have you? Sink or swim. You should invite testing your own strength. Push yourself. It takes a lot more than you think to kill you. Be tough. The most satisfying experience of all is proving your own fears wrong.
> I don't know where to go
You don't have to know. Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and try something out. Buy a return ticket if it doesn't work out if worst comes to worst.

> Every place on this world seems barren
You haven't seem every place in the world have you?

>>21590634
Do you exercise? Do you sleep and eat well? Do you spend days isolated, to the point that going out and interacting with people isn’t part of your routine? Also, do you live in some hellish place?

>>21590662
How's life in Kazakhstan these days? Always wanted to pay a visit to central asia starting from there.

>>21590647
Did I say anything about sucking cock?

>>21586890
So many conversations I have with women (and I expect they have amongst themselves) have this implicit attempt to 'soothe' that is way more present than in men's conversations. If it is present in men's it doesn't take the form of a woman's conversation which is always 'oh you shouldn't say that' or 'that's not true'. Men will likely just agree with you when it comes to whatever grating observation you make about yourself (or others) and just tell you to cope if it's far too metaphysical or to quit being a loser if it's a material problem. My guess is that they're generally more social nature requires them to need more external support for regulating their emotions so a significant amount of their conversation is probably just 'We are okay' span across personal anecdotes etc. This is also largely the tone of modern lib culture. Soothing and solipsistic for the sake of emotional regulation.

>>21590694
I think it's implied. It's an open secret that Achilles and Alexander were gay

>>21590682
I'm not the kind of guy who fucks. And I will not have a home to go back to. Sorry I know you're not a mind reader. I can't survive anywhere else because I don't own a car. And you need a car anywhere that isn't a specific city.

>>21590690
it's not bad, depends on which city you go to, it's getting more difficult for an average local person with everything getting more expensive but if you're a tourist you'll enjoy it for sure, especially if you go to some wild places with great scenery, Almaty is great as well.

I'm a tall guy and I just saw a skinny short man guy curled up in the corner seat of on the autobahn. He was wearing a cheap suit. He must be so tired. But how cannot a man like him be tired. He is fragile and weak, not fit to survive in this hastily troublesome world. I could snap him in half with one hand. Puny nobody.

>>21590711
Do you get a lot of non-russian foreign workers around the country? I'm in the medical field and I'm considering working around those parts of the world, even if I'm not particularly skilled at the moment.

I'm a weaboo and I'm sick of hiding my power level.

>>21588454
the only person I talk to is my mom and im 25

I'm not a weaboo and I'm sick of being forced to pretend to care about anime

>>21590723

>>21590729
lol peer pressured

>>21590703
Maybe, although that is arguable because the Greeks had a concept of gender and sexuality which is unlike the modern categories. It was not uncommon for men of similar age to have what we would call a "bromance", and Greek society was very agist when it came to sexual practices. Two grown men fucking each other would be seen as pushing it. Alexander and Hephaestion were almost the same age, grew up together , but the point isn't that they fucked each other it's that their culture didn't associate male emotionality with homosexuality. Alexander considered Hephaestion to be his twin brother. Of course they could have been lovers and hid it because their ages were similar, or they could have embraced the larger Greek mentality which invited male emotionality and companionship as a full expression of their humanity.

Socrates and Plato didn't fuck, though the latter wept openly at the former's death. And all of Socrates' friends got extremely emotional during the event of his execution.

Obviously not all the ancient Greeks just fucked boys all day or else there wouldn't be any more of them would there?

>>21590703
>>21590742
isn't this a misconception? even plato denounced male male couplings. this is a upper class vs everyone else thing. the rich have always had strange proclivities

>>21590708
>I'm not the kind of guy who fucks
That's cool. It's a waste of time anyway.
> I can't survive anywhere else because I don't own a car. And you need a car anywhere that isn't a specific city.
Bruh any city worth living in is walkable. Maybe you're a burger though and live in a dystopian misconfigured automobile based society ... in which case I can relate.

But this is beside the point. Stop thinking in terms of a limitation mentality, but in terms of a possibility mentality. Don't just think about what you can't do. Think about what you can do. Or what you cold do if you xyz.

>>21590763
So what should I do? What's a good City to go to? I wish I weren't an urbanite

>>21590749
Plato may have had his opinions of course. It's self-evident in the dialogues though when Socrates sizes up a servant boy etc or literally talks about how pretty a guy is. But the fact is pederasty was a common occurence in ancient Greece. Different regional cultures had different attitudes about it. Thebes embraced it openly to the point their most elite military force was a gay brigade, the Sacred Band. The Spartans didn't glorify it but basically acknowledged the universal truth that soldiers get very painfully horny and the prettiest looking thing in the vicinity is fair game. Hence why Spartan twinks had to put up with getting thigh fucked. Basically it was prison sex because there were no women on campaign.

The Macedonians were actually among the more homophobic of the cultures. But that wouldn't stop Alexander as royalty and a virtually deified hero from fucking whoever he wanted.

>>21586890
I'm in a fucked situation right now. I'd say "Why does this keep happening to me?!!" If I didn't already know why, so let's put it simply : I am fucked. I keep getting in situations I can't get out of easily and I'm stress-balding because I am unable to fit in normal society. Stating facts won't magically help me out but it can however make me feel a little bit better for the moment. I think I may need to stop thinking for the next 2 hours as things will get progressively harder to manage otherwise. Leaving all the stress to my subconscious and gotta go on some insane shit now. Hopefully I'll pump out something amazing in the meantime. See you.

>>21590785
and people say start with the Greeks??? That's crazy!!

I wish Noelle Silva and Secre Swallowtail were my wives.

>>21590769
Idk bro. You do not need to move to the city to feel complete. What do you want for yourself? Do you not know? That is understandable. But if you don't know you just need to adopt an adventure mindset.

Don't talk about a huge leap like moving to a new city. Try to look up something vaguely interesting in your area. Give yourself a small adventure. Test the waters. Just break out of your habits.

You need better self-understanding more than anything else. But to understand yourself better you need to to new stuff.

You will never achieve a true understanding of yourself sitting in your room on 4chan. Hell, go for a walk around the block. Just vary your experience.

>>21590722
not many no, they're mostly called expats and they are either in Astana and Almaty or in the oil region which is in the west and called Tengiz oil site.

I'm reading the Greeks and I can't get over the distrust of the translator in my mind but I don't have it in me to actually learn ancient Greek. I wish English literary tradition wasn't so short. I wish Greek wasn't such a distant language

>>21590814
Every professor I know of say that you should read multiple translations if you're not reading the original. That's the trade off, but the original is still better and necessary for scholarly work.

>>21590789
It's not just the greeks. The Persians, Japs, Chinese, pretty much any advanced civilization had a pederastic tradition.

It was considered a temporary arrangement, which prioritized mentorship over anything else. It implicitly recognized that human males are horny. Gay sex was seen as a means to an end. And the boys weren't even fucked in the ass, their thighs were oiled up and fucked Now instead we have fraternities with these weird destructive homosexual acts between ostensibly straight boys , with the older ones doing it just assert dominance and shame the younger ones with nothing constructive being accomplished.

The Greeks did not consider these acts to be homosexual , they just considered it to be sexual behavior. The concept of homosexuality wasn't invented until the 19th century.

>>21590820
>>21590820
it just makes me ashamed. how can I even pretend that I'm reading their poetry?

>>21590825
so being gay is okay?
it's just totally alien to me. I never even did gay stuff as a kid. People always talk about kids touching each other like it's a common experience. And all that frat stuff has always been insane to me.
I just don't think I'll ever understand

>>21590831
Just because they did it doesn't mean it's okay, anon. There are nuances to this. Think.

>>21586890
Fasting is actually a cheat code to boost your intelligence. Haven't ate anything in the past 8 hours and suddenly my thinking is many times more sharp, and I can remember thinks I wouldn't usually remember.

>>21590833
You don't think it's okay?

>>21590826
Then read English poetry. Fuck the Greeks. And you can consider the translation of Greek poetry as part of your English poetry reading. Now you don't need to despair.

I am too dumb to figure out four-suit spider solitaire.

>>21590831
A hole is a hole

>>21590836
but i like the greeks. and their literary tradition goes way deeper than English.

>>21590835
I don't.

>>21590839
Or, to put it a different way:
there's no such thing as gay or straight, just my desire to le fornicate

>>21590841
I don't feel safe on this board now. That's horrible

>>21590840
No you like the idea of Greeks. In reality they are dirty turds. Expectations are always greener than the other side. Read English poetry. Go stick your hand as far as you can inside its ass.

>>21590844
You wanna be safe? When's the last time you took a hook to the face? If you can't take care of that then you will never be safe.

>>21590834
It also I'm finding boosts my mood incredibly & makes me way more motivated.
This shit is amazing. Better than any drug i've ever done.

>>21590851
english just seems like a more barbaric limited language. greeks looked cool sounded cool did cool things. English wore silly clothes and makeup and wigs. and basically just poorly copied greece anyway. i wish my language had anything to be proud of

>>21590834
>>21590856

How often do you fast and between what hours? I find it easier to abstain from eating when I'm not working, but on a regular work day if I don't eat I want to jump off my building.

>>21590861
I can't help you because you can't put your shoes on an alien and look at things without blindfolds.

>>21590874
that's offensive man give me a break here ive never read anything english written before 1950 in my life

>>21590865
I don't usually fast, but decided to recently. Just intermittently, so I'll have dinner and then eat nothing else & go to bed. Usually I snack a ton, but I always find when I abstain for at least 8 hours it just makes me feel & think better. And that urge to eat gets channeled into other outlets like reading or playing videogames, but doing both just more intensely & effectively.
I used to fast a lot a few years ago, but have gotten out of the habit since I moved back in with my parents & am surrounded by food. I remember it would always help me study. Whenever I would fast back then I remember reading an insane amount like it was no problem.
It seems to focus my mind like nothing else.

>>21589492
Is that the most intelligent black?

>>21590913
I only skimmed it, but the part about using black slaves then freeing them out of convenience or whatever as evidence for a superior race makes no sense because literally no people are planning things that far. It's just all people are exploiting what's convenient in their surroundings without too much thought even for the next day and given enough time and a snowball effect will cause nations in a given area to increase and the ability to exploit more surroundings.

i don't think I'm an intellectual at all. i think I just want to read pretty things that sound nice and make me feel good in my gut.

>>21590933
>that sound nice and make me feel good in my gut.
I mean art, whether literary or visual is always an emotional experience; doesn't make it any less intellectual just because it gives you good feelings.
(though of course, there's also genres like tragedy and horror which we oddly enjoy/take pleasure in because it gives us bad feelings)
Even with philosophy, I think there's always that interesting question to what extent our feelings or temperament color our philosophical investigations.

It's either a virgin slut nymphet wife or death, for me.

Maybe I take life too seriously. Maybe I should take a break and consoom for a while.

>>21587483
Idk try A.C. Doyle, Mark Twain or Jules Verne?

>>21590971
>virgin slut
the what now

>The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed even more
magnificently than before
The sisters or Cinderella?

>>21591015
Cinderella. I agree it's technically ambiguous in isolation but the context suggests that 'dressed' is referring only to one person and this is reinforced by the sentences that follow.

>>21590046
Hate to rain on your parade but the chances of you actually having lung cancer is fairly low

I feel like my life is in need a drastic change. But what is the most drastic thing I could feasibly do? Run to another country? Any country I could move to is worse off than mine at the moment and I doubt I could get a job. Change careers? I had a hard enough time getting my current job and I don't have experience in anything else. In truth, I just want to run away... but what would that even look like? I would just get to wherever it is I am going and end up broke and probably homeless.

https://vocaroo.com/1aGGs6UoknTu
I'm honestly terrified of what AI might do
This vocaroo of Dagoth Ur doing the /lit/ copypasta is hilarious though

>>21591030
Either interpretations worth, both grammatically and storywise.

>>21591087
Not really. The detail of her dress all gives context as to why the prince is always by her and giving her compliments. It's implied that the 'she' in the following sentence is referring to the Cinderella od the previous sentence who was dressed even more magnificently than before.

>>21591072
What you want is to go on an adventure because (You) need to find yourself. Do you have a girlfriend? Creative stuff you've always wanted to do? Changing cities may also help.

>>21586890
I keep thinking about a cutie pie whom I probably don't mean much to. We hug and stuff but she never says she wants something from me, she's always letting me do all of the first steps. I just want to see her right now.

>>21586890
I had a dream that I had put a book shelf in my shower and was taking a shower with it in there. I think this is the second time I’ve had this dream. In it there was a rather large book called “Im Wald” by Wagner that I for some reason wanted to read

>>21591218
It's true that I have no idea who I really am. It is why I can't commit to anything. Everything I start, from jobs, to education, to relationships, I abandon after a few months. I can't commit because I have no idea what I want or even what type of a person I am. I don't have a girlfriend. I have had girlfriends in the past but I either leave them or they leave me. I go on dates but they always end poorly. My job is fine but unsatisfying. I feel empty and cavernous.

I don't think moving cities would solve any of these problems but at least it might give me some stories to look back upon.

>>21591238
That’s cool.

>>21591270
People don’t consciously know who they are, they do things because of who they are

>>21591033
Probably not but I have had some pretty bad heart damage for 3 years. Wouldn't doubt it if major complications are starting.

I can pursue a Master or Doctorate (but not a professional Doctorate) for free, only I don’t know what to study.

>>21587301
I know that feel. I want to quit but at same time I don't want to. Is that what they call an adiction?

My father is diagnosed bipolar. He made a good amount of money around the .com bubble, bought a nice house in the suburbs, a bunch of electronics, model trains, and a boat. After 2008 he sold everything. Now he's homeless. For most guys that would be a tragedy. But, it's 100% how he wants to live. He just can't take "normal life" seriously at all.

He just doesn't get attached to anything. When we lived in the suburbs, he owned a ton of stuff, yet seemed not to believe in the idea of "ownership" beyond a legal sense. The way he acted was like, all this stuff is simply here now but some day it won't be, so enjoy it now! And when he took us to the grocery store or church it was the same way. There was this crazy air of impermanence to everything he did, like each time could be the very last time he did a specific thing but it was okay, he knew his whole life that permanence was an illusion.

So looking back, he's always been like that. And it totally blows my mind. No one else I've ever met is the same way. Not even close

I wrote something that I was quite proud of for a novella,
"I felt that this had all been some sort of trick, a simple lighthearted deceit, a joke. Yes! This must have been a trick! What a random joke, since my birthday or any notable holiday for that matter was months away! But, of course in spite of this short-lived delusion, I knew that this was not a joke. The only person, being, or thing that was laughing was Death. Death was cackling directly in my face because he knew that my appointment to meet him was coming earlier than I once thought."
Good days are ahead this week.

What's the best English translation of Hesiod?

>>21591829
>Now he's homeless.
Does he actually live on a street?

big dicks will rule the world

>>21590931
>t. illiterate

>>21592000
I have a big dick and i'am still a kissless virgin in my late twenties, living with my mom, working a job that's only a little over the minimum wage. I would like you to explain yourself further.

>>21591876
Pretty sure yes. He hates the shelters, only owns a moped and a backpack or something

>>21592000
Having objectively base desires gets you no further than satisfying those primal urges. This is not conducive to success or “ruling the world”.

I have come to the realization that "jouissance" just means "nuttin so hard u forget urself".
Nonetheless, I will keep using it in wildly inaccurate ways around Lacanian pseuds, because they are completely incapable of correcting me, as they also have no idea what it means.

>>21592153
It says physical or intellectual pleasure.
A love of knowledge and learning is how I take it, though I've never used it in a sentence

I wish I had graduated on time and gone on to law school.

>>21592000
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1675035900743958.webm

My mother is single and now that she’s middle aged, she asks her kids to accompany her to do things which normally she would have her husband accompany her for. It’s difficult for us.

https://voca.ro/15SDbwssk0K3

https://voca.ro/11kXAYng4Xmo

>>21590714
>Puny

You sound like a cartoon villain

>>21591015
Cinderella was originally a tribal legend in which the chieftain was trying to find the woman who lost her fur moccasin. You are correct to have read a disingenuous psy-op into the Russian Federation's version of the legend.

>me 5 years ago
I have to make art, to move people and leave some kind of legacy
>me now
Even perfect art can only make people happy for a little while, but a perfect book or idea can improve people's lives forever. I should put all my energy into thought instead

Do you think I regressed?

>>21592374
If you could speak in more than sentence fragments maybe I could answer your actual question. My judgment at impulse is that your post is politically motivated and not that compelling though.

>>21592301
My mum has cancer.

>>21592415
Well I thought it was clear. The goal is to add something valuable to the world. In the past, my goal was to get really good at music and move people. But then I realized music only helps people temporarily, while the right idea can change someone's life. It's not politics, closer to philosophy. But anyway I'm not there yet, wherever it is

Just found out that my wife is fucking my boss. I guess that is okay because I am fucking my boss’s daughter

They used to follow the wild pigs,
Until they went and new ones came,
They tear the earth and grubs appear briefly,
Plastic conservatories and tarmac driveways,
Dish dividends in their destruction,
But now I have nothing and it is winter.

>>21592078
get a hooker

I have two sides
>I will never have sex you can't make me I will never do it I reject modern sexual sensibilities wizardhood here I come I hate touching people I hate being touched leave me alone AAAAAAAAAAA
>wtf why do I suddenly have the urge to have a ton of kids

Women love talking to me until they see my picture. Then they just politely talk less and less and eventually ghost me. I wish I had better looks

http://www.artandpopularculture.com/Historical_figures_sometimes_considered_autistic

Can you improve your voice?

Dubs and I'll send her a message.

>>21592609
Well, not today.

Can cowardice be cured? What would you say is a good cure?

>>21592591
women use me and then dump me because i'm boring,
they aren't to be trusted rly.

>>21592609
>>21592615
no no, let me reroll for you

>>21592478
What would that accomplish outside of debasing two people?

>>21592629
I'm in a similar position. Good looks are the only thing I have going for me on the dating market, but I'm a bitch and get nervous in several social situations. The girls figure out after a while and just dump me.
It's what they say though, "don't hate the player, hate the game", it's the age-old role of the woman to select who gets to breed and it's good to filter a scared bitch. One lesson for anyone, never talk to a girl (who you want to be with) about your mental problems, she either dumps you soon or she's so fucked up herself (and stays with you no matter this biggest of turnoffs) that you shouldn't be with her for your own good.

>>21592634
The numbers don't want me to talk to her

>>21592651
Sad but true. That's why I gave up on it after my last relationship. I'm not suited for posterity.

Bros, I have heart failure and want to get a DNR. I have no transport and no identification, so I can't get it normally. If I go to the emergency room under pretences, is it possible for me to get a DNR and Advance Directive while there? Do I need an appointment for it?

Ancient light warms a cold forum
Vulgarity to refined decorum
See history repeating
The deep of the sea receding

The reason I have no friends can't get a job and will never have a GF is simple. I just have nothing to offer. I don't know why people overcomplicate it.

>>21592734
based honestychad

How do I confess my feelings to a woman?

>>21592744
Ask her out on a date

>>21592627
Bravery. Or in the absence of that, passion. But even if you overcome cowardice, fear will always be there to accompany you.

>>21592734
Good scientists say almost nothing feels better than having their models they spent years on being completely debunked. It means they've advanced their knowledge considerably and the previous project is finished in a satisfying way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Blair_of_Borgue

>>21592800
>you will never be a happy upper class 1700s man in his comfy house living with his cat collecting feathers and enjoying life

>>21592800
This is what man in the garden was like. Before the cursed fruit of knowledge

>>21592778
That's a bit too simplistic, don't you think? For such a daunting issue, i mean

>>21592627
Fear and cowardice never go away. Bravery is acting anyway

I think I'm hiding my need for love. It makes me look weak, pathetic and dependable on other people.

>>21589852
What is it? I’ve known every philosophical position so unless you are just a literal retard there’s no way that NO ONE agrees with you or has ever agreed with you

>>21592830
I don't think so, no. I cannot think of a better answer. Passion can help people overcome their cowardice. I don't think there is necessarily a cure for cowardice though. Cowardice is behaviour which stems from fear; and fear cannot be totally erased. Which means you need to have an alternative and positive driver for your behaviour, passion being the best and most powerful one I can think of.

>>21592657
I like the idea

Dubs and I'll give up the contest and drink myself into oblivion

>>21592800
>write screenplay
>Blair the Laird
>movie is 90 minutes of him doing his thing
>female Jane Austen character falls in love with him
>another character falls in love with him
>Austenian plot intrigues
>one proposes
>he says yes
>the other one proposes
>he says yes
>we see the first one waiting at the altar
>we see the second one waiting at the altar
>The End
>credits roll while in the background Blair in his garden is moving rocks from one place to the other for no reason

>>21592897
Dubs and you start putting in more effort to improve and grow as a person.

>>21592890
I think it was a good answer.

>>21592899
BASED

>>21592899
God wills it.

>>21592899
Thanks, fren

Two days without alcohol, which is the longest I've been without a drink in years. Not trying to quit entirely, just want to gauge how deep in the pit I am. It hasn't been bad, so far. No shakes, no nausea, my appetite remains good, not even a headache. My sleep has been a bit fucked up but that's not unusual. A few more days like this and I'll be satisfied that I'm not seriously hurting myself by drinking the way I do

>>21592943
good job, anon. keep it up. you'll see a lot of benefits one after the other soon enough.

Asshole is sexiest part of the body.

>>21592994
Coincidentally, it's usually the shittiest.

>>21592943
Congrats! I've been drinking far too much recently, it seems to be the only way to feel something other than despair

>>21593012
>coincidentally

>>21592987
You best believe if I hit a week without any withdrawal symptoms I'll be right back at it

>>21593020
I just like being drunk

>>21593048
>I just like being drunk
Based

>>21592994
Because you're a fag

>>21593048
how drunk?

https://vocaroo.com/17XsFdv92SBh

>>21592994
Never change a baby's diapers.

From the moment I wake up to when I finally lose consciousness at night. It never stops. I am constantly guilty and filled with shame. I'm trapped in my reality and circumstances. I can't escape. I can't be anyone else. I hate cities but I can't live anywhere else. I hate that I have money and working is pointless. I just want to be a different fucking person. I'll forever be stunted.

>>21592890
That would be nice if passion did indeed exist. Unfortunately it's only illusory at best. You're either born with a "drive" or you get shaken around by the bumpy roads of nowhereland. I've never met a properly passionate person, even if sociopathic egotists can emulate that trait very well.

don't like fats

Can't settle on which book to read next

>>21586926
I think I'll peak this year, I don't know what to make of that

>>21593152
Passion exists if you want it to exist. Up to you. It's just a fancy word for infatuation.

new thread

>>21593182
>>21593182
>>21593182

>>21593182
>>21593182
>>21593182

hello folks im in a pickle and so as there is no /lit/sqt/ please hear me out
As im enrolling for a new job in a pozzed tech firm, the HR asked me to concoct a card with mugshot some credo, a quote or self descriptive message for an introductionary bcc mail for my colleagues.
I would like to go with "all happy families are alike etc" or "no man is an island etc etc".
The citation should express my attitude towards people/work/life goals. My honest attitude is that every man deserves to be gassed etc, but i'd rather keep it to myself, together with that im a lone wolf and a misantrophic.
I have to come up with a self description that's pozzed, encaptures right attitude towards work(bugmen mentality), it should not be too söy, but it has to have a dash of genuinity and orginality too.
I think some oriental citation would be a match.

>>21593263
>HR asked me to concoct a card with mugshot some credo, a quote or self descriptive message for an introductionary bcc mail for my colleagues.
What a nightmare. That sounds like one of those gay high school projects. It has nothing to do with technology or any work you'll be doing. Fuck i hate HR departments

>>21592734
>I just have nothing to offer.
literally me.

>>21592636
are you seriously this retarded?

>>21592078
lol loser

>>21593263
kafka