/lit/ - Literature

>>21577957
is this a Dark Academia thread?

i love paintings more than anything

>>21577976
i would cut my own throat to suck her tiddies while im bleeding out

>get high
>1 hour of 'maybe i need to chill about all the nazi stuff'
>2 hours of 'i need to become even more of a nazi'

>>21577957
Jeremy Irons?

>>21578003
Yes, 1981 adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's novel Brideshead Revisited. Absolute kino

I have too many passions/hobbies/interests and I don't know how to balance them all. Deep down I know I have to sacrifice a thing or two, but I really don't want to.

I'm somewhere between a beginner to intermediate in all of the following: chess, pottery/ceramics, playing guitar, EDM production, weightlifting, judo, speaking 2 new languages, 3D modeling, etc. I really love all of them and would love to master them before I die.

The only thing I like to think I'm really good at is illustration/drawing, which happens to be my full-time profession as a designer. Thank god I'm single because I couldn't imagine even thinking about this shit if I had more responsibilities other than taking care of myself.

What do.

>>21577957
recently i’ve been thinking that actually it’s really Zizek that is the national socialist

i have opportunity to fuck a NZ chick, as an american. are they ok with me not being vaccinated? i have the money to spare and i need that pussy.

>>21577957
Fedora atheists are literally just making fun of anglo intellectuals and fashion sense

>>21577957
The fedora atheist meme is literally just a parody of anglo intellectuals and fashion sense

>>21578045
sort of a little in the same boat as you but not quite there yet,if the time comes where i have to make choices between things i’m planning to sacrifice my lie in time, if i get up at 0530 instead of a rather unhealthy 0930 that’s like an extra 4 hours a day, just imagine.

>>21578045
Might be an ADD thing. Yesterday I was gonna start the Critique of Pure Reason, today I sidetracked hard and made a youtube video instead. Two days ago I was gonna learn more French. I switch between hobbies so rapidly it probably looks insane from the outside

I genuinely don't understand why everyone doesn't do some form of weightlifting.

>>21578080
What a strange thing to not understand

>>21578080
been lifting for three years

>>21578080
Weightlifting is fun at first but for me it gets boring just chasing numbers, even if you switch up the routine or whatever. To me it makes more sense to have it supplement some sort of sport or martial art. It becomes more motivating knowing that working out helps me excel in another sport vs. just looking at how big my muscles are getting in the mirror like a faggot.

>>21577957
What's the point of being funny? This question has been driving me to despair for quite some time now

>>21578080
I only do calisthenics. I don't want to be like the guys who lift weights at the gym - muscular but uncoordinated. I want to be genuinely fit, athletic, agile, not a hulking mass of ungainly meat. Plus lean muscle always looks better.

Catholic Harry Potter in real life
https://chestertonwv.com/news/2018/6/20/the-house-system-at-chesterton

>>21578116
post your routine/program please. i want to get started at home but the sheer amount of possible paths to take has been cripplingly daunting

>>21578112
I don't mean powerlifting or bodybuilding. Essentially everyone can benefit from resistance training barring those with extreme health issues, from athletes to regular Joes looking to improve their health to people in any profession requiring one to move an object during the workday.

>dad refuses to work under people
>he drops out of college
>has been self-employed, NEET, or homeless his entire life
>always wondered what his deal was
>hit my 20s
>hate schedules
>hate doing the same thing every day
>hate taking orders from someone
>intense desire to drop out of college
>mfw I became my father

>>21578114
To placate feelings of despair
I wrote a joke pls tell me if it's good
What did the student say when the solipsist tried to lecture him on philosophy?
Keep it to yourself

>>21578127
>>mfw I became my father
Happened to me too. Always wondered why my dad spent all his time alone and had no friends. Now I'm the same way.

>>21578127
I thought I might've had a son while reading this.

>>21578116
You're not gonna become a "hulking mass of ungainly meat" unless you're specifically training and eating with that in mind. Weightlifting can be its own pursuit or it can be used to supplement another discipline, like how some marathoners or javelin throwers or gymnasts will use barbell exercises to supplement their regular routines.

>>21578131
not bad

I don't really know how to handle feelings of envy or jealousy. I realize where they stem from, I understand how I feel so inferior and so threatened upon seeing people my age and from my own region be successful at the things I should have worked harder at, but I can't figure out where to go beyond that point. The logical answer would be to use those feelings to fuel my desire to succeed on my own terms, but I'm the kind of bitch who gets more defeated than inspired by others. For example, I looked up this one passing acquaintance I hadn't heard from in a long time, and it turns out that he's gotten really good at playing music, he's set up his own little studio, and is nicely pursuing his passions in life, which just made me crumble at the realization that I had wasted all those in-between years doing absolutely fuck-all. I had the same reaction when I saw a group of young dudes making a very cool documentary about something I was interested in exploring. It's as if I'm unable to be purely happy about their endeavors, I always relate it back to my own fears. I was and still am too cowardly to jump into anything, with the cowardice running really deeply into my psyche. I don't know how to break this cycle. Please help. There must be a way to stop self-sabotaging, to stop being this little nuisance.

>>21578179
>I'm the kind of bitch who gets more defeated than inspired by others
that makes two of us. it doesnt help me that im 30 already.

>>21578179
>Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
If you need more poorly attributed quotes
>Comparison is the thief of joy

I don't even know what I like.

>>21578219
do you like girls or boys?

>>21578216
some people are just brought up that way, always compared to somebody else, relying on templates. i'm not sure if it's even possible to get over that hurdle.

>>21578226
Neither. I'm sexually attracted to girls but not interested in them socially.

time for an erotic tale perhaps, *licks fingers to prepare for writing*

>>21578239
bad experiences with them?

>>21578268
No. I'm just a loner. I've never found any reason to hang out with others.

>>21578254
erotic to me at least. gonna try make this short, only writing this to personally get off to the memory: Me and a friend and his very pretty girlfriend were doing mescaline on an extremely hot day. We decide to go to the beach but the gf can't find her swimsuit. After a while looking and us getting annoyed that she's taking so long she says fine. She's found some one-piece black lace lingerie thing. How to describe? it covered her but the bra cup was made of half see through lace, so her nipples were just sitting over the top and visible for the rest of our nice afternoon swim. She's just sitting there with us with her tits basically out while I'm tripping hard on mescaline. I'm so horny it's insane.

>>21578235
if it formed from habit you can break it by habit

>>21578054
He is the only self proclaimed communist who would support NATO and Banderaist Ukraine.

>>21577976
Poor form, palms should not be rotated inward.

>>21578179
I don't think I can help you in not comparing yourself to others. It's only natural. But I suppose less social media and internet could be helpful for you. As for the excess time awarded by that, you should use it in productive endeavors where you deliberately try to improve. Eventually you should become skilled at these things, enough so that you can be somewhat proud of yourself. That's what it really boils down to, being able to be happy with yourself. But that requires a lot of hard work and effort on your part.

>>21578045
I implore you to drop chess anon, especially if you play online. I honestly deeply regret all the time I wasted on it. Just play for fun occasionally with friends.
>t. 2000 elo shitter

Do you guys remember that one screencapped post about "week long dopamine detox" that gets reposted around a lot? Is it really that effective? I've been hitting a real low lately in terms of being a piece of shit, and I'm considering trying it out of desperation. The only hurdles I have is the points regarding talking with loved ones and the diet, because I'm a NEET who lives with his parents, and we don't have a lot of income to afford a lot of protein and stuff like that. I'm willing to cut off the internet and the distractions for a week, while exercising. I just want to clean up my rotten brains and feel alive again. So, does it work?

I really want to die. I’ve exhausted all options. Can’t seem to like anything. Can’t even smile anymore.

You could always have it so much worse. But you are here. You have unlimited access to almost all of mankind's accumulated knowledge, right at your fingertips and either on your desk or in your pocket. You are not, for example, living a life of nonstop danger, hunger, disease, misery and exploitation like the poor fuckers working in Congolese cobalt mines or the children making clothes in a sweatshop in Malesia, all for the benefit of richer, better-off people across the great oceans, and all for a mere pittance.

You have opportunities. You have sufficient food and water and shelter. You have excesses, many of which you have already grown tired of -- toys that you have played with aplenty, maybe even ones you haven't played with at all. From their perspective, and even from the perspective of kings long gone and only still seen on the pages of history books and paintings, you are living a life of luxury.

>>21578435
The correlation between bourgeois plenty and depression just indicates that material possessions are not necessary for, and I would argue not related to, happiness. So long as the immediate is no longer a concern (which ends the moment a buffalo is killed, perhaps) material possession becomes irrelevant.

>>21577957
Nothing is more beautiful than skill.

>>21577957
I watched the first episode of Brideshead Revisited last week and it was so much gayer than I thought it would be. Maybe I have no gaydar or I’m just autistic but the book didn’t seem all that gay to me. To me it seemed they shared a platonic relationship in their Oxford poncey way.

>>21578469
Would you say that the more skillful is more beautiful, and the less skillful, less beautiful?

>>21578449
Basic needs must be fully met and exceeded in order to gain maximal benefit from material wealth.

>>21578482
Of course. You need material possessions, and an excess of material possessionsn, to maximally benefit from material possessions. I'm saying that as long as one is fed and watered, and is in no risk of freezing to death, maximal happiness is no longer contingent on material circumstance. It may be affected, but the absence thereof or its presence does not determine happiness.

>>21578496
We are in full agreement.

Everything you do is creating a type of culture. For example jf you spend hours arguing on Twitter, then the aesthetic associated with doing that, the topics you're talking about, all of that is creating a culture and if you're not careful you're starting to lose all the maturity, the development your mind had as a kid, even the sparks leading you to some beautiful vision, all of that gone, you culturally regressed. The worst thing about that is the necessity of having lived a life before that to be able to successfully end up in this delocalized space, because it's referring to all these distinct objects from your past life, everyone had some kind of life before ending up there. And that life had superior cultural quality

>>21577974
Breughel is so sublime. He seems clumsy and naive at first, but when you let his works soak in they reveal a depth of design wielded to deep human pity, and a healthy dose of derision, that only the top tier of artists in any medium can achieve. It saddens me we seem to be unable to make art so touching anymore.

>>21577957
Dubs name my tf2 weapon

Mom tried to od. She failed, unfortunately. Then she got all bananas e told me on the way to the hospital that she wish she could go back in time and kill my grandma before giving birth to her. As she told me my grandma was sold to a neighbor's farm when she was 10 so her father could pay some debts. Then the owner of the family tried to do the same with my mom, and that's why grandma ran away. Now it makes sense. Grandma was abused, mom was abused and I was abused (even tho it was by female cousins, laugh). She's in the hospital now and I hope the dies there so she can rest.

>>21578638
It's a mod-er-n life but it's not what you're looking for

Thinking about reading Ayn Rand. I want to see what the its all about. Was thinking about reading the famous long speech in Atlas Shrugged. Thought?

>>21578642
What?

What are the essential things to pave one's way into a decent life? I'm asking as a recovering alcoholic who recently came off of a three month bender wherein I drank 100 grams of vodka just to get up from my bed. The fearfully anticipated delirium tremens hit me when I couldn't even drink water one morning. It was hell. Now to the list of things to give me a chance at a decent life:
>diet (i've elimibated carbs, what about vitamins and supplements?)
>exercise (i go on walks)
>social interaction (AA meetings, work, church, two remaining friends)
>reading literature
>saving/investing money (maybe enough in a few years for a down payment for a mortgage)
>praying
>medical checkup/dentist
>a hobby
>dressing well enough
What else?

>>21578686
meaning in life

>>21578367
why don't you get a fucking job so your family can eat some decent food? this board is filled with absolute bottom feeders.

>>21578638
Too fantastical, dude

>>21578686
>i've elimibated carbs
LMAO

A stray dog was giving birth, she did not appear pregnant; it was quiet. The first one came out, it looked and acted like born do. I turned my head and a much older puppy was there on four legs with chest held high. Imposing. It had been born and walked over there. They all drank milk.
That was my dream.

>>21578691
I pray for that and I'm hoping that my meaning will be revealed to me once i'm living the decent life and being a decent citizen. What's your meaning in life btw?

>>21578686
Productive work. If you are doing pointless wage slaving, get some further training to do something productive.

Boy do I want to do drugs

>>21578638
>I was abused (even tho it was by female cousins, laugh)
hot

>always tired and confused
>No will, vision or ambition
It feels like something is hanging like a veil over my life but what is it
Disease? Some hormone fuckery?
In b4 go to the gym because i akready do and even when it makes me feel pumped sometimes its still surpressed.

>>21578686
>diet
Cook your own food as often as possible, processed foods and fast food are unhealthy and restaurant food is fattening. Plus it's cheaper that way. No need to "elimitate carbs" but it's good not to eat sugar and fruit all the time. Potatoes and whole grains are good carbs for example. Vitamins and supplements mostly unnecessary, though some zinc and extra vitamins can help you recover from a cold. If you live in an area with little sunlight in winter, take vitamin D supplements.
>exercise
Walks are a good start. Jogging is even better. Muscular exercise is good too with or without extra weights as long as you know what you're doing and don't hurt yourself.
>social interaction
You're doing well it seems.
>reading literature
Yes
>saving/investing money
Great idea. You'll probably have an easier time saving if you don't drink or smoke chronically.
>praying
>medical checkup/dentist
>a hobby
>dressing well enough
Good ideas.
>What else?
A full time job

>>21577957
I've been watching Ghana cooking videos for two days. I like watching the everyday lives of people from vastly different parts of the world. Last time it was butchers taking apart meat and fish on big wooden blocks. There's something soothing about it.

it also makes me super jealous that I live in a Germanic country, where our main staples are root vegetables and hunting meat. It's basically impossible to make authentic hot-country food without spending a stupid amount of money.

youtube.com/watch?v=EvoBacwmVjs&ab_channel=TatianaHaina

>for most of my 20s I worked on something, but nothing came of it
>it was pretty much the only thing I ever really cared about
>now a NEET at 29
>father wants me to buck up and become an office wagie
>have absolutely no motivation to make something of myself anymore
>even when cute girls hit on me I don't care (one keeps wanting to meet but I continue to ghost her)
>I've become fairly content doing nothing at all
>the few things that I do enjoy - reading, drawing, hiking, going to the beach, taking night walks - are all free
I've been thinking about learning to code but it seems extremely soulless.

>>21578638
that's brutal, dude.

>>21578702
I dont have any meaning in life, therefore I mention it.
I think about suicide everyday.

I don't recall using teleportation, and yet there I was

>>21578686
>What else?
Habbits and being able to evaluate your habbits before the damage is done and being able to stop is the most important ability to master

>>21578702
>>21578812
get a hobby

>>21578820
but anon, thinking about suicide IS his hobby

>>21578820
nothing seem to click with me. My brain is defective.

>>21578825
what have you tried?

>>21578792
Your dad is gonna kick you out man

>>21578775
Thanks for the reply.
>diet
I do cook a little. Bacon and eggs, and one salad is what I know. Processed foods wise, I eat them but I feel like they're on the not so bad side, I like the soft cheeses (brie and camembert) also italian/french sausages (chorizo, salami) and beef jerky, i think and hope they're fine. Just started with vitamin d actually cause my skin is prone to tumor, my dermatologist told me to stay away from sunlight my whole life :(.
>exercise
I do hope to work my way up to more demanding exercises. Swimming for example, I used to swim as a kid, but I can't listen to talkshows etc while swimming :( , but maybe there are already or will be waterproof bluetooth earplugs
>a full time job
i am happily employed. The company is struggling a bit but it's a really good gig otherwise. I'm a manager and I also worked while I was drinking. I made deals that I remembered nothing about etc, but thank god I wasn't fired. My assistant even found a small vodka bottle from my office and told everyone except my boss and no reprocussions. I'm really grateful for that. Also criminally DUI-ing daily and no accidents or getting caught. I'm unsure why God has been this merciful towards me thus far.

I wonder how many tradcath larpers would still be willing to live a "modest cottage life" if they had to do it in rural China, or in a poor African village.

>>21578843
>bacon
>sausage
>soft cheese
You're gonna have a heart attack at 40 if this comprises most of your diet

>>21578862
I'm a tradcath and want to live in a castle with a 16 year old gf

>>21578871
I believe that to be part of the mainstream health narrative that is untrue.

>>21578825
>>21578834
I'm waiting for a felting kit. it'll be here in an hour or two.

>>21578885
as long as you do enough exercise and eat veggies. humans are omnivores, don't forget that.

>>21578888
You must have tried a lot of hobbies if you're giving felting a shot

>>21578885
Suit yourself. How are your shits?

>>21578895
>You must have tried a lot of hobbies if you're giving felting a shot
why?

>>21578862
Rural china is the backdoor of a massive industrial surveillance state. Rural africa is the land of warlords making use of industrial technology to rape and plunder everyone in their path.
Before industrialization, communities very rarely interacted directly with their government or other communities, and even war only infrequently impacted most communities.
Industrialism means that corrupt states and criminals are able to project their power all over the world; a small band of mobsters can base their operations in a south american state, fly to a rural village in eastern europw, kidnap girls, and then sell them as slaves in africa. There's so much bureaucratic red tape around justice that, where communities would just kill outsiders suspected of doing evil, they now wait and beg Big Government to help (it won't).

>>21578895
Surprisingly good shits. No diarrhea no constipation. Much better than when I was drinking and stuffing my face with whatever.

My penis hurts from too much masturbation but i'am still horny...

I'm trying to find a more effective way to interface with books. In the past I have just read books and put them down, maybe thinking about them in the shower or while I'm doing other things; however, nothing formal. I always hear about people that take notes while they read or sit down after finishing a book and put down their thoughts, do you guys do this? Anyone have any tips on mindset and or getting started?

>>21578915
Keep a slab of paper or journal beside you and write down your thoughts every time you have an interesting observation. If you like a passage, you can quote it or a portion of it and the page number too. Then, you can go back and write some commentary on it.

>>21578915
>>21578924
Oh yeah, for the mindset you just need to be interested in really understanding what you're reading. If you just want to "interface" then it will be unnatural and annoying.

You guys ever wake up and immediately hop on the internet, and for the first 30 minutes it's fun and you look forward to what you'll do today, then you start passively browsing 4chan/youtube and soon the whole morning is gone without having done anything?

>>21578926
for sure, every day

>>21578926
Yeah. Social media is so beneficial for social control. Any time one has an extreme desire to do something, communicating it can release the pressure to act and so put it off.

>>21578924
>>21578925
by interface with it I just mean that I would like to get more out of it. Right now I'm just sitting down for 5-10 minutes after reading for 30 min or an hour to write down thoughts and or interesting points. Do you guys carry paper around in your book then??

Just found out my first girlfriend went from regular girl to non-binary identifying as lesbian, sometimes identifying as a man.
I lost my virginity to her. I loved her and she loved me.
Does this retroactively make me gay?

This is going to be taken as a facetious haha lmao question and it kinda is, but I unironically found out just recently and it has kinda been ruminating in me, like for real. Luckily she had a real turbo-Chad doctor boyfriend after me for much longer than we were together, so in my mind, it can't be my dick game that is so awful that she'd react like that

>>21577976
>implying she has any range of motion at all to exercise her muscles with those gargantuan milkers

>>21578834
singing, sports, drawing, chess, reading, dancing and etc.

>>21578990
try more stuff with your hands. woodcarving, soapstone carving, miniature kits, stitching, resin crafting... there's a bunch of stuff you can still try

>>21578990
or gardening, or fishkeeping, or get a pet. sometimes people react well to having to keep something else alive and healthy.

I am on the pursuit to actively destroy my life. Not with drugs or hedonism but with failures and lacks of skill. There is no making it life because everyone suffers before death. So when you're suffering before death it is like you have never been healthy. The present is only real. And present before death is filled with suffering. The pain associated with death is our eternal present. Whole life is pain. Doesn't matters if you make it or not, death spares none.

Destruction is coming, I better take it into my own hands and destroy my being. It is the the only agency that matters. I have always felt the lack of agency on life. If I feel the lack, I might as well be on the side of lack then and pretend that it is me you is destroying my own being.

It returns to dust when the sun sets at
dusk.
empty streets filled with ghostly husks

>>21578898
In my mind it's a lower tier hobby. It doesn't strike me as particularly fun or engaging, the end result isn't useful or even particularly beautiful. Wouldn't be my first or even tenth choice if I was desperately casting about for a hobby. I used to work in a knitting shop that also sold stuff related to other textile hobbies, basically nobody was into felting, whereas knitting, crochet, weaving, and needlepoint had tons of practitioners.

>>21578904
Yeah drinking can really fuck up your shits.

>>21578926
I make sure that I have other stuff to do in the morning

>>21578990
You've tried singing, what about playing an instrument?

>>21579027
>In my mind it's a lower tier hobby.
what a terrible way to look at life. I'm trying felting because I haven't tried felting before.

>>21579041
>what a terrible way to look at life
I'm not the one with a "broken brain" (speaking of terrible ways to look at life) searching blindly for meaning

>>21579049
neither am I

>>21579050
Carry on then, enjoy making your trinkets

>>21578843
>I do cook a little. Bacon and eggs, and one salad is what I know.
That's a start I suppose, I recommend learning some chicken and ground beef recipies as well since there are lots of different dishes you can make using those. Different soups, lasagna, meatballs, bolognese, paella, tortillas, that sort of stuff.
>Processed foods wise, I eat them but I feel like they're on the not so bad side, I like the soft cheeses (brie and camembert) also italian/french sausages (chorizo, salami) and beef jerky, i think and hope they're fine.
In moderate amounts no problem. I was mostly referring to ready-made microwave meals anyways. I wouldn't even include cheese in processed foods, I consider them dairy (and often fermented) products. Fermented foods are a great source of vitamin K2 so it's good you like brie. My favorite cheese is gouda. Just remember that cheeses are high in unsaturated fat which are considered "bad fats". Chicken or eggs would be a healthier source of protein than sausage or jerky but again in moderate amounts there should be no problem.
>Swimming
Very intensive exercise. Don't be surprised if you are unable to swim much the first time you go, but other than that go for it mate
>i am happily employed
I'm happy for you, good going

>>21579124
Swimming is actually the least intense as it is not weight bearing

>>21579193
When is the last time you swam as exercise? It is actually quite intensive full-body exercise. Weight training can vary in intensity and often includes breaks in between sets, meanwhile swimming much like jogging requires endurance. It gives you the cardio, it gives your muscles training, and it's easy on your joints. Your legs, upper body, back, core and lungs all get a workout while swimming.

As I have always said: the past is not behind us. As a matter of fact, it is not even past.

>>21579235
Yea I'm just saying jogging is much more intense than swimming. Some people gain weight when they start swimming because it's such low intensity in terms of calorie burning. I took up running instead of swimming a month ago maybe just because of the nuisance of driving to pool, showering, etc. Not knocking swimming but it is the least intense in terms of calorie burning. Good for toning and such just gotta make sure you don't chow like a pig after your swim

>>21579326
i’ve heard if you really want to lose weight from swimming you actually have to inhale the water while your swimming, very tricky thing to do unless you’ve been properly trained.

drinking again

>>21579326
>in terms of calorie burning
Maybe our disagreement stemmed from me not understanding you meant this. I don't know if this is the case but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and move onto my point. You see, I ran a half marathon in just over two hours about two years ago, and after a long time of not having swam, went swimming last summer. I was spent after about two hundred meters. That might be just because my muscles weren't used to swimming but it certainly was an extremely intensive full-body exercise regardless, and I stand firmly by my advice to anon that he shouldn't be surprised if he exhausts himself quickly when he first goes swimming after a long time of not having done rigorous exercise. As for my routine I go to the gym at least three times a week, and I do weight training, cardio and jogging.

Have any of you gone down the rabbit hole of infinite economic growth? I'm looking at it now and everyone who says it's all gonna work out seems like a retard

>>21579193
>Swimming is actually the least intense as it is not weight bearing
you don't know what you're talking about

>>21578812
Hobbies won't replace meaning. People have this weird narrative in their heads where you're supposed to find meaning by finding the right job/hobby balance or meditating or taking a walk. So people try to find meaning in these things and they fail and they start taking jew drugs to cope. Meaning is a bunch of interlocking factors and because our society has become increasingly complex, finding the right point of connection between all these complicated factors is getting harder and harder, and more often than not you need to manually file a few edges off in order to get the pieces to fit in. Answers like "get a hobby" or "find a girlfriend" are stupidly reductive, I've felt empty inside while having a relationship and sex every day, I've felt ecstatic while doing absolutely fuck all and shitposting on 4chan, because in that particular fraction of my history I had everything locked into the right configuration - that's how I felt at least, it's all in your mind anyway - and everything was smooth. Then of course it only took a little bump to wreck the whole precarious balance and I felt depressed again.
The worst thing you can do is to just swap the same piece in and out, like changing your hobby. It won't do anything.
One thing I did today was that I was walking back home and I didn't want to take the long route, so I decided to walk through a bit that was not illuminated, all overgrown. There's private properties along that street so there was danger of dogs left out too. But I thought, you know what, I want to change that. I have pepper spray, I have a torch. So I went there and I realized that I don't feel scared or anxious when I'm in the middle of shitty rural land with no light. I could've met a boar or something, but I was in my element. I feel alive when I'm in a place like that, so now that I'm home my depression has given me a little bit of a truce. What is worth more, safety or feeling alive? Now I saw an ad that they're organizing a trekking thing in an area nearby, I think I'll go (thankfully I'm fit enough). Maybe I'll come back home depressed as shit again and nothing will change, but changing my internet community or changing my internet/homebody hobby activity didn't do shit so far.

>>21579470
>Hobbies won't replace meaning.

>39. We use the term “surrogate activity’ to designate an activity that is directed toward an artificial goal that people set up for themselves merely in order to have some goal to work toward, or let us say, merely for the sake of the “fulfillment” that they get from pursuing the goal. Here is a rule of thumb for the identification of surrogate activities. Given a person who devotes much time and energy to the pursuit of goal X, ask yourself this: If he had to devote most of his time and energy to satisfying his biological needs, and if that effort required him to use his physical and mental faculties in a varied and interesting way, would he feel seriously deprived because he did not attain goal X? If the answer is no, then the person’s pursuit of goal X is a surrogate activity. Hirohito’s studies in marine biology clearly constituted a surrogate activity, since it is pretty certain that if Hirohito had had to spend his time working at interesting non-scientific tasks in order to obtain the necessities of life, he would not have felt deprived because he didn’t know all about the anatomy and life-cycles of marine animals. On the other hand the pursuit of sex and love (for example) is not a surrogate activity, because most people, even if their existence were otherwise satisfactory, would feel deprived if they passed their lives without ever having a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. (But pursuit of an excessive amount of sex, more than one really needs, can be a surrogate activity.)

40. In modern industrial society only minimal effort is necessary to satisfy one’s physical needs. It is enough to go through a training program to acquire some petty technical skill, then come to work on time and exert the very modest effort needed to hold a job. The only requirements are a moderate amount of intelligence and, most of all, simple OBEDIENCE. If one has those, society takes care of one from cradle to grave. (Yes, there is an underclass that cannot take the physical necessities for granted, but we are speaking here of mainstream society.) Thus it is not surprising that modern society is full of surrogate activities. ...

1/2

>>21579470
> ... These include scientific work, athletic achievement, humanitarian work, artistic and literary creation, climbing the corporate ladder, acquisition of money and material goods far beyond the point at which they cease to give any additional physical satisfaction, and social activism when it addresses issues that are not important for the activist personally, as in the case of white activists who work for the rights of nonwhite minorities. These are not always PURE surrogate activities, since for many people they may be motivated in part by needs other than the need to have some goal to pursue. Scientific work may be motivated in part by a drive for prestige, artistic creation by a need to express feelings, militant social activism by hostility. But for most people who pursue them, these activities are in large part surrogate activities. For example, the majority of scientists will probably agree that the “fulfillment” they get from their work is more important than the money and prestige they earn.

>41. For many if not most people, surrogate activities are less satisfying than the pursuit of real goals (that is, goals that people would want to attain even if their need for the power process were already fulfilled). One indication of this is the fact that, in many or most cases, people who are deeply involved in surrogate activities are never satisfied, never at rest. Thus the money-maker constantly strives for more and more wealth. The scientist no sooner solves one problem than he moves on to the next. The long-distance runner drives himself to run always farther and faster. Many people who pursue surrogate activities will say that they get far more fulfillment from these activities than they do from the “mundane” business of satisfying their biological needs, but that is because in our society the effort needed to satisfy the biological needs has been reduced to triviality. More importantly, in our society people do not satisfy their biological needs AUTONOMOUSLY but by functioning as parts of an immense social machine. In contrast, people generally have a great deal of autonomy in pursuing their surrogate activities.

>>21579359
its Friday

Excuse me lads but I'm going to repost something I've left on the previous thread to no replies for the sake of getting some sort clarification this time. It's a desperate and embarrassing decision but I'm past caring about that now.

She has about 400 followers and seems to be fairly popular in town, running a semi-successful modest artsy venture. She must meet a lot of cool people. I've never even seen her irl, and yet I feel this strange attraction. It's not sexual. She's not particularly bright or eccentric. But something about her is very serene and comforting to me, to where I want to tell her about the ruminations that have never left my mind, all the while being more calm and open than with anyone else. I keep trying to fend these thoughts off, repeating to myself that it's lowly and inappropriate, that I'm trespassing on people's psyche, but I always fail at keeping them at bay. I am certain that this is all some bullshit that I've dug myself into out of accumulated bad habits, however the fact of the matter remains that upon waking and right before I drift to sleep she passes through my mind. The only time I've ever been in a situation remotely similar to this, I ended up getting in a long term relationship with my then girlfriend, who might I add knows this aforementioned woman, as does a number of mutual friends. Maybe that's why I'm clinging to it, yearning to make some sort of connection through a tried and tested method.
What do I do with this strange fixation? Should I just approach her and attempt to deflate the mysticism through talking, or walk away as far as possible? Or maybe I should just take it as a joke? I realize that it's quite embarrassing, but that's my life now

>>21579497
>It is enough to go through a training program to acquire some petty technical skill, then come to work on time and exert the very modest effort needed to hold a job
He's right about everything but man this really gives away that it was written in the 80s

I really wish there were science fiction/fantasy romance novels aimed at dudes. The majority is aimed at chicks and the stuff that is for dudes is harem/animu/coomer garbage.

I don’t know what to do anymore. After I graduated, I got a job in a university budget office because I was local and had some niche skills so I became a university administrator. I am no longer invested in this administrator job and I’m ready to go do the next thing. Problem is, the only obvious thing for me to do is get a graduate degree and teach or do research but my undergraduate grades were so bad that I doubt any graduate school will accept me. I don’t think I could get accepted to any other graduate or professional school to switch careers. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.

Even my dreams are a rumination. Im so angry about the direction of my life

>>21579559
I write that. People always say they're totally super interested and when I post bits they honey it up to groom me so I post more, but once I post the fucking thing and they see there's no smut right away they stop giving a fuck instantly. So I don't post anything. Same with art. People would tell me they loved my art, blah blah, then I'd post things, then they saw that I wasn't making porn and they immediately bailed. They never say it explicitly but all the people praising anyone are just grooming you in hope that they'll see some porn. Literally all compliments on the internet mean just that, if someone's complimenting you or "hopes to see more of this" it literally just means "please get me to the porn already"

>>21579592
Meds, now.

Is anger even real? Is it just another chemical like the others? Why is there such a thing as outbursts? What's the point? Letting off steam? Humans aren't machines though. Why even be angry when it's a choice just as choosing to be happy is?

>>21579470
So whats the solution?

>>21579620
Anger motivates. When I witness injustice, I get extremely angry. This is how tribes and communities regulated themselves without law enforcement or government.
Unfortunately, anger is a hindrance to the individual in modern industrial society.

Lads, if it carries on at this rate I'm gonna bloody make it. And if I can, we all can.

>>21579613
People literally only care about porn so my conclusion is naturally that. If people told me my work is shit I would think differently, but how do explain that people praise you and "want more of this" but once you actually show them more, same quality, same themes, no strings attached, they bail. They just hope you'll show them porn because that's inevitably what 99% of escapist media has become

AY, UNIVERSE, I NEED SOME SUCCULENT PUSSY OVER HERE!

>>21579628
Interesting take. What do you feel when you witness justice? Does that motivate you as well?

>>21579655
Dine and ditch some succulent Chinese dinner instead

>>21579679
NAH, I'M FIENDIN' FOR SOME SLIZZ, MY GUY.

>>21579662
No. Justice is the natural state of affairs, injustice is a perversion.

>>21579688
Best I can do is a couple sponges in a glove.

>>21579628
If you can't direct your anger somewhere (and you can't, because it would be illegal) anger will just erode you

>>21579703
"Can't" means that it's physically impossible, when it very much is possible. At some point, anger reaches such a degree that preservation of the individual is not as desirable as preservation of the group.

Its really amazing how one bad decision can haunt a person for years and years and years

>>21579522
Approaching her and bleeding your heart out to her like that would be inappropriate and most definitely weird. This just screams parasocial relationship to me idk

>>21579716
why couldn't ya just keep your dick in your pants?

>>21579733
Oh thats not my problem. I'm an incel.

I NEED THAT PUSSY. I WILL GET THE PUSSY 2NITE

I'm so fucking lonely AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>21579724
what if i attempted to have a good conversation instead of an unprompted heart-to-heart? asking if initiating contact in general is worth it at this point

>>21579716
I, too, have that one cringe moment in high school. That one cringe moment that would be too cringe to even reveal in the cringiest thread on /r9k/, that one cringe moment you have never talked about and never will because bearing the weight of it yourself is already too much. You know that moment. It never leaves you. Sometimes you're there, and all of a sudden you think about it, for some reason. It may happen any time. And even if everyone else in the world has forgotten, that cringe moment is permanently etched in the four-dimensional totality of you. It never leaves.

Why do i have the feeling im always in the wrong no matter what.

YA BOY'S ON PUSSY PATROL TONIGHT

>>21579679
Sir, you're under arrest.

>>21579804
What?

>>21577957
OP's pic triggered the 130th time I've made the double error of mistaking Jeremy Irons who is British for Willem Dafoe, who is not British. A fact which I refuse to believe.

I used to be a very curious person with a wide breadth of interests. I was always reading books and researchjng different things. I had a rich and active imagination and a passion to pursue these things. I feel like Ive had all the life crushed out of me. Slowly and painfully all the freshness of life and magic in the world was killed in front of me. I feel like a lifeless husk now. I don't care about anything anymore. Nothing excites me. I'm bored and boring.

Do you think denial of the existence of free will is a valid excuse for driving under the influence?

THE PUSSY JUICES WILL FLOW

>>21579902
I have drank
the pussy juice
that was in
the pussy

and which
you were probably
saving
for sex

Forgive me
it was squirttastic
so sweet
and so pussylicious

>>21579899
Stop asking this stupid question. It's absurd on its face. You're trying to justify a behavior which assumes you have the choice to act in the first place, which is why the answer of ethics to determinism is always to say that even if there is no free will we should just act as if there is to maintain coherence. So no, you're just a wreckless ass hole doing something stupid for attention.
Now watch Ginger Snaps 2 you canadian twink

>>21579911
He will never stop, anon.

Does anyone have a feeling of ambivalence toward social interactions? The loneliness is crushing me, but as soon as I "enter the world" and manage to socialize, it always feels as if it's weighing down on me -- I'm not sure whether I'm actually engaged and even remotely interested in doing so. What enhances the pain is my own imagination, people having fun and I envy them, but at the same time trying to mimic the fun they have feels empty.

>>21578496
>I'm saying that as long as one is fed and watered, and is in no risk of freezing to death, maximal happiness is no longer contingent on material circumstance
You know it take six months of supplement to stop iron deficiency which can cause depression and psychosis. You can get kwashiokor and die while eating, same with beriberi.
And you can be turned psychotic by being fed and watered and warm in isolation.
Fed, watered and warm isn't enough for even rabbits. One of the reasons we can't run the same experiment in humans is because we damaged simians so badly they can't live without a lab when we tried it in lower primates.

>>21579522
This is something very specific that resonates with me, I've got exactly the same situation -- word by word. In the end, despite we had a some sort of conversation and I felt truly and unusually serene and calm, ultimately I did never pursue her.

Lads I've got no job, I'm £400 down on my credit card and I've just just spent the last £5 I had on lottery tickets. So yeah, pray for me please.

>that feel when was too stupid to get what meter was so i wrote poetry in free verse
>that feel when iambic pentameter finally clicked
>now i feel like a pro

>>21579965
whats next anon?

>just read the grand inquisitor chapter for the first time
Bros...

>>21579470
It sounds retarded, but the happiest I've been in the past 5 years is when I just moved into my mom's new place and had this setup (pic related). Yes it looks bad, but it was insanely comfy and I really miss it. Since this picture was taken she's slowly filled the room with junk like every American house and now that feeling is gone. Whenever I visit I just feel sad such a room can't be nice and open

>>21580059
I read it for the first time about 8 years ago. I still dont understand it

>>21580086
(By the way, a huge part of the comfiness is that I had my bed on the floor. She would always talk about, "Oh poor you, you don't even have a bed frame!", but right after she got one I actually felt my sleep quality decline and I had less energy. Humans sleep on the floor by nature, it's perfectly fine.)

>>21579956
Would you mind describing her and your interaction further, anon?

>>21579787
That seems much less inappropriate and weird. I'm not sure how you'd initiate contact with a stranger all of a sudden like that but if you have some basic social skills and dare I say even charisma then maybe you'll have a chance at connecting with her at a meaningful level

>>21580086
I feel you anon. The junk hoarding is terrible.

>>21580127
these days youngsters get on each other's radars by responding to instagram stories or posts. it's a bit harder to stand out in a sea of hundreds however.

>>21579965
>credit card
>lottery tickets
ngmi

>>21580086
>perhaps the comfiest setup known to man
>playan DS2
zased

>>21579965
anon , not be a downer but its kinda over

>>21580086
>dark souls 2

>>21579948
Why does being alone bother you?

>>21577957
Man, that's a great show, possibly one of the best ever, even thought they have two filler episodes at the end.

>>21579948
There was a moment in my life where I was a bit like that. I was more distant and ambivalent and I didn't react very much even if something dangerous happened near me at work for example. I recognized that there was a problem in the way I was acting and I resolved to become more like the others. So I started making a deliberate effort to listen to others and to share what I thought more openly without being prompted by others. I also began showing more emotions on my face even when I was alone. I knew that you can trick your own brain into feeling a certain way with your expressions (a psychology documentary I saw in psych class in high school demonstrated putting a pencil between the molar teeth, simulating a smile, made people feel more positive within five minutes). Now I can take part in social interactions better once again. Not sure what caused me to become distant like that, probably too much Internet and a solitary lifestyle. Glad that's over with

>>21580254
Looks boring based on your image.

There’s this girl who’s been bugging me. Young, blonde, pretty, knowingly weaponizing her femininity; the photos she posts on social media cause a portion of this city’s male population to seethe in carnal energy, sordid daydreams and shame-inducing relations with oneself; well-versed in music for the cool kids, vintage wool coat, a quirky beret that signals indie infatuation, owns a few guitars and has played a few gigs—surely braver than I… and I can’t stop thinking about her. I compare myself to her string of admirers, the local music scene’s heroes and dregs, how often they swoop-in and attempt to woe her with their hoarded knowledge of alternative culture, Flying Nun bands, obscure French philosophy, ruminations on writers that attract hip college girls—Sappho and Plath, definitely—tidbits of art used as baubles for courtship, worn like a button won from a gig upon a tattered battle jacket. It’s a glaring problem, my condition, when it comes to romance; surely there has to be some semblance of something in my yearning, whether it be another failed love to obsess over for a few years, or a slice of time that would feel lively.

>>21580254
Btw, another great: https://archive.org/details/BBCr4Brideshead/02+Brideshead+Revisited.mp3
Catholic bits are cut a bit too much, missing the long winding sections that are better presented in tv show, but it's got a superb voice cast, their performance, direction, and as an unexpected plus, very good sfx. Extremely comfy listening.

>>21580267
so you're simpin'

How do I defeat God?

>>21580276
for sure.

Drunkenly ordered Altas Shrugged for some reason. What am I in for?

>>21580267
>Flying Nun bands
kek'd. nice touch.

>>21580261
Looks like a faggot, based on reply.

>>21580267
Just enjoy it while it lasts and be chill. Nothing too deep.

>>21579907
You abasement before the idol of pussy amuses me. All it takes is a quantum of the stuff to animate your whole licentious spirit.

>>21580322
IMMA FIENDIN' FOR SOME PUSSY, SATAN. GIMME ALL THE SLIZZ AND MY SOUL IS YOURS.

>>21580307
Me or the person I replied to?

My roommate's boyfriend left a condom on the floor outside the basement bathroom :/

>>21578033
Kino indeed, although Auberon complained it was too gay. I will admit it was a tad too sentimental, unlike the original novel of course. Needless to say, subsequent adaptations have been even gayer.

Does anyone remember who Sebastian Flyte is supposed to be based on?

I’m really unhappy

>>21580362
>anyone remember who Sebastian Flyte is supposed to be based on?
He's a conglomerate of Waugh's friends/frenemies, like Stephen Tennant and Alastair Hugh Graham. Normally a Waugh character is made up from a couple people he knew, with a mix of good and bad traits from each.

>>21580234
I would say, the same reason the hunger and thirst, sexual desire, exist in a man, so there is an innate desire to socialize -- people are social beings, except for schizospectrum. It's only natural to satisfy the need, and despite my efforts I am not able to. I used to enjoy solitary confinement, until something has broken.

This is actually a good question.

>>21580260
>So I started making a deliberate effort to listen to others and to share what I thought more openly without being prompted by others.

I tried doing that, and it only deteriorated my mental health. What helped best is finding the community that was acceptant of my quirks and willing to show initiative (so I won't feel left out), and also accepted the initiative of mine. But due to geopolitical reasons and time we parted ways and moved on with our lives, only chatting here and there sometimes.

>>21580392
why?

>>21580362
He's composite, like most of Waughs heroes. Family wise, he's Hugh Lygon, personally, in connection with Waugh, he's Alastair Hugh Graham. I can't recommend enough biography; "Mad World: Eveyn...." This new thing of a partial biography. It only concerns period around the book, so it's possibly good to know general timeline, thought really not that important. There's such a colorful cast of character in original Lygon family and group around Waugh, that it's hard to believe. Father Lygon was massive but bugger that had personally selected group of servants. Waughs arctic expedition is also wonderfully described. Shame that he never wrote about it in detail, that shit is beyond belief as well.

>>21580410
>What helped best is finding the community that was acceptant of my quirks and willing to show initiative (so I won't feel left out), and also accepted the initiative of mine.
That is what a proper, mutually respectful relationship is like. Having it any other way isn't good.

>>21580418
Disappointed with my life I suppose

I've been watching the world regress all my life.

>>21580433
>Family wise, he's Hugh Lygon,
Family wise he's also the Howards, the mother being obviously the Radical Baroness, which is why Castle Howard plays the Flyte residence in the TV series.

>>21580437
Is there any particular area?

>>21580410
>people are social beings, except for schizospectrum.
this is like saying "people are brown-haired, except for the blonde ones".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNwTao5VWDs

>>21580474
Don't be stupid, whites aren't people.

>>21579620
I only get angry when I'm hungry. When I'm not hungry I can't even imagine getting angry.

>>21580445
Just mother and family seat, the rest of them are Lygons.
While at it, forgot to add to this; >>21580433 Mad World is overly Lygon based. That's substantial weakness of that book. For clear picture, other biographies are needed.

>>21579628
Then you must be either constantly angry or oblivious

>>21580499
Well the father is a mix of Howard and Acton. Like I said, he's usually mixing a lot of traits, so the father dating an Italian living without modern conveniences is somehow more related to Sebastian than Anthony, despite Anthony being an Acton modelled character too.

hell ya friday night time to slack off!

>>21580501
=)

I actually quit porn, hard to believe.
What comes next, I quit my anxiety?

>>21580560
>I actually quit porn, hard to believe.
How long for?

>>21580576
Forever.
Ok it's only been two months, but I've quit different things before and I just know by my today's attitude towards it that I'm never gonna watch it again, the same way I never repeated the other things.

>>21580587
Well I hope it works out, but I wouldn't think the battle is over

I finally have the chance to bingr drink alone but I cant because I have this killer head cold. Im so pissed off.

>>21580616
How about some nice hot soup instead? Ain't nothing like good ol' soup.

>>21580587
I'm glad for you anon. I still slack to it, but I'm happy that it's not as frequent as it used to be. It's a hell of an addiction. Net is close, though. Long winters and habbits aren't helping.

>>21580616
excuses excuses

>>21577957
And I could finally feel the wind on my face as I stepped back out into the afternoon light. The lone tall building always funneled the air into a breeze but something about today was different. I finally felt the dust strike my face as I figured what I would do. I knew I wanted a sandwich and a beer, but I didn’t know if I should. Shame began to pour in as I pondered it. Maybe it was okay to want something like that. I had a few dollars to spare, sure. But I also had sandwich supplies and cheap beer sitting at home, in the fridge. I felt like a faggot, a low male, low enough to be killed. I finally had some time to myself and all I could wonder was why I deserved to enjoy myself. School would start again on Monday, back to the rigorous schedule and the minimal free time and strict disciplined mediation. But for now, I could stand there, and enjoy the breeze. Maybe that cute girl would be serving the food today, she always had a nice smile.

>>21580560
Next, you'll use the reacquired free time for productive endeavors

>>21580624

>>21580643
Shut up and watch Ginger Snaps 2

I've grown to prefer the company of non-white women. It's hard to be genuinely racist once you've had some brown pussy own your dick.

I've been stuck in the loop for a while. Doing stuff just feels like I'm controlling a video game character and watching stuff happen to it. There is a clear disconnect between what I want to do, what I think and what I actually do, at all times. I wonder if everyone is just functioning on their base programming like I do or if they actually feel in total control of their life. Fulfilling even the most basic human need is a hassle now.

>>21580718
>Doing stuff just feels like I'm controlling a video game character and watching stuff happen to it.
Same. This happens all the time. It only goes away when I am alone for more than a few days.

here's this poem i just wrote

review, 3 stars. just ok.
took me back to my childhood.
wasn't the tastiest soup
and a bit watery. it
was just ok

>>21580633
For me the only think that can quit a bad habit is a fundamental change of attitude. When then happens (no idea how to initiate it), there is not even a question about you returning back to it.
Whenever I needed to force myself into abstinence, it couldn't work out. Like with porn, I would last for months and then I would get drunk and after returning home I'd fap to some stepcest bullshit. Now I wouldn't even think of searching for anything like that.

>>21580662
yjk

>>21580811
Better soup next time

I hate sex so fucking much it's unreal.
Before people call me low test or asexual, I'm actually high test, which is WHY I fucking hate sex so fucking much.
I view having to jerk off at least once a week almost like the male equivalent of a woman having her period. This isn't to disparage what women go through, but just to emphasize how fucking much I hate HAVING to jerk off, how miserable it is.
>hurr do nofap durr
YOU are the one with low test. If someone like me goes more than a week without jerking off, then sexual thoughts will completely cloud my mind and make it virtually impossible to think or function. I will involuntarily imagine the sensation of any surface I lay eyes on upon my dick, and there's thousands of ways that's horrible.
Sex is so fucking pointless; it's only purpose should be for procreation. There are a million ways two people who love each other can bond other than disgusting, repugnant sex, and yet the urge to have this repulsive, degrading experience is so fucking frequent.
I've honestly, no joke, considered castration because I hate sex so fucking much. Life would be so much better without a sex drive, but I want children some day and know it will be difficult to get married if I can't perform the detestable act every once in a while. I'm not a practicing Christian, either, this comes from genuine biological disgust.

>>21578771
You have depression

>>21580860
Fapping literally takes less than 5 minutes to do, stop crying about it

>>21580881
I enjoy myself more spending 5 minutes plucking nose hairs than fapping.

BITCHES COME UP IN THE CLUB AND BE LIKE, "YO, WHERE'S THAT SUCCULENT BONER SAUCE FOR MY PUSSY?"

>>21580881
Takes me an hour

I really need a gf

>>21580459
More than one, but tying them all together is a general sort of disappointment

Being unable to join a monastery because of medical and educational debt is kinda funny
Feels like being an indentured servant
In the future, we'll be paying off some kind of loan right after we're born
Our whole lives will be rented

Our shitposting has broken society

My mind is a soup

>>21578771
vitamin d deficient?

>>21580947
How can they know?

>>21581043
can i get your mind from the soup store?

>>21578771
How’s your sleep? Any possibility you have sleep apnea?

>>21578719
What is productive? I’ve spent my whole adult life working in offices and every job I’ve ever seen was unnecessary paperwork turned digital work and social climbing. I think the one of the real tragedies of modern life is that most of what most of us do is just not even necessary. It’s hard for me to imagine what meaningfully productive office work even looks like.

>>21581094
No, it's a home recipie

----- Solaria ----
774
(Impression, ambiance, tone, and cohesion in montage)

Wisdom without the fatigue usual to it,
Immune to equivocation.

Drunk with the charm of a descriptive power
That knows why

Toad irises resemble iron pyrite
Or instrumental music equivalent to roseate scenery, felt color

Shining as if forever in a mood of boyish hilarity, like
The sublime of thermodynamic intuition

Or a certain calm constant
In front of portraiture organized beyond belief

As before still-lives lively as the circumstance of their painting,
Next-to-last in distillation stages--

The sense for temperament,
A nature happiest in serene summer sunrise

Reflecting with pleasure its resemblance to the paradise
Of mind mingled with its makings

Wherever civilization tops out
Like fantasy invisible to satire,

Of life in one world's last fortunate regions
Where it's usual to almost sleep while the cerebellum

Chauffeurs the rest, with itself, with bedroom ease
In a car so considerate to wishing that

Polar vortices look from it pleasant as fields so automated that one hardly ever sees
A human figure out in the open in infrastructure sprawling to the horizon.

That the analogy is obvious as the motive for all analogy.
The intrinsic splendor of cuttlefish

In the eye capable of archives.

>>21578686
It’s religion. The things we do in life only matter in the context of what is more than life. Art, poetry, these things come close for some people I think, but really, it’s religion. And I actually don’t think it’s cliche for an addict to find religion.

>>21578771
Ensure you have proper sleep and diet.
I went through the same melancholic shit a few months ago, took care of those things and when I started to do things it sort of created a feedback loop, which motivated me to get my shit together.
I also started taking Alpha-GPC, it's acetylocholine and somewhat helps with cognition. (memory and sharp thinking)
You'll get through it man

>>21581102
that's very nice, anon. keep it warm but not too hot.

>>21581092
If you're foreign? Doubt they can. It's obviously just a hold-over rule from when debtors would escape into monastic orders to flee repayment, so debt collectors threatened them into coercion.

However, I don't know how a western dude could join one of these eastern religions and 100% believe in it. Maybe enlightenment is real, but all the prayers and rituals feel needless.

>>21578686
A hobby is one of the most important things a person could have imo. It often allows you to bond with people, feel satisfaction from your achievments, an improve your knowledge, creativity or health if it's a sport. Cycling was one of the major factors which helped me get out of depression.

>>21581114
Its on a nice simmer right now

I love you so much Natalie. I always will.

>>21581147
Gay

three years ago i met a girl online who posted covers of shoegaze songs on youtube - sort of romantic and quite emotional when i knew her, i liked her a lot. we've not spoken in over two years probably, but earlier today i got a linkedin connection request from her. she's a financial advisor now.
i looked out the window as a great cloud prepared to move in front of the sun.

>>21578127
>>21578144
>>21578145
what's the solution tho ?

>>21578144
do you think he's ok?
for some reason the idea of a lonely dad with a 4chan son is destroying me

>>21578367
just drink a little more milk for the extra proteins and dont use any digital screen at all
It should work after a week

>>21580474
No, I might agree it's a bit of generalization I made, point I was trying to make there are exceptions to the rule. I believe most people seek social interactions.

>>21581181
introvert/extrovert theory

>>21581160
My ex and only gf texted me yesterday. All it said was "Got a new phone and lost all my data, whose number is this?"

>>21578144
>be my dad
>absolute chad
>total womanizer
>quick witted
>beats up people for being dumb
>really well educated
>professional career
>makes 150k a year
Boy I am the complete and total opposite of him

>>21581193
what'd you say, 'yeah right'?

>>21581189
The difference between introvert/extrovert, as I understand it, is getting exhausted or empowered by social interactions. Picture a battery, an introverted person "recharges" by being alone and accumulates the energy which has to be spent later on -- this doesn't mean one actively avoids people, but instead prefers to delve into solitary activities given the choice, while the other type seeks engagement proactively. There are also preferences in how deep/shallow the relationships are expected, its longevity, talk/do thing, amount of connections, etc.

>>21577957
----- Solaria ----
775
(Grid Magnifico)

Casually thinking about encryption techniques
Invisible from any stately point-of-view, I consider how

Typical musicians exceed everyone
Except poets who make secondary visions of them all.

>>21578970
No, obviously not. Women cannot become men, and desu you might get checked for terminal retardation for even considering it.

Hope that helps.

>>21581208
I deleted the text. I dont think she was fishing. I think she genuinely lost all her contacts. Its been a long time.

>>21581264
AI fail

>>21581169
I'm gonna go self-employed, if that fails I'll go NEET and then squatter

>>21578970
lmao yeah i'm not transphobic at all but i don't think i'd like it if the girl i lost my virginity to transitioned

hope some cities burn this weekend
luv me cop drama

>>21581302
Yeah riot livestreams are kino

>>21581302
i wonder what they are trying to distract us from with this. the primary election campaigns do start this year, but it will be another month or two before they really kick off, so it seems kinda early.

>>21577957
----- Solaria ----
776
(Longevity)

The sound of faraway kildeer,
The look of the North Loop from anywhere thereof,

Passenger jets lazily looping
Just underneath sunset altocumulus, tall cottonwoods slightly obscure, glittering like

A round impatiens bed glowing under a burgundy maple,
What it's like to see

Almost no matter what else, no matter the emergency.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_erIG8Haxs0&t=107s

nothing cool is even happening i hope these riots kick off or ima be bored

>>21581434
Keep us updated bro

>>21581434
what riots?

>>21581490
STOP IT
GIVE ME MY MOUSE BACK

I have 150 pages left and I just want to read something else and I feel bad

>>21581481
Niggers and communists are going nuts in Alabama right now.

Butt sex and bukkake

>>21581528
Giving or receiving?

>>21577990
>>21579965
Not that bad. How old are you?

>>21580438
Kino. Source?

>>21581497
150 pages of what? During and after, I feel better than ever reading the best of Shakespeare, Montaigne, and Goethe, though I've a certain taste for Wells's The Time Machine. The best of Johnson and Hazlitt is also great fun.

>>21581529
>Giving or receiving?
Homo confirmed

>>21581193
"It's your ex."

this shit is dumb
i hate clowns and celebrity charity bs

thinking about redscare patreon contribution

I wanna beat the shit out of Michael Cera

>>21581512
Who'd the cops kill now?

>>21581688
Animal

>>21581688
Um sweaty thats John Cena

>>21581695
5 nigger cops beat a nigger resisting arrest to death

>>21581723
Revolution now. Kill all the pigs and lawyers

Covid ruined my early 20s

>>21581741
Big Pharma scam. Yeah. Buckle up. Things are going to get worse.

people get mad when you lie about money you stole from them but
read
books full of
fiction

>>21581741
Weed ruined mine

I can’t even fake it anymore…I guess I really am No Longer Human™

next thread

>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759

>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759
>>21581759

>>21580633
You've good taste in images. Winters are rather long where I live, though in high summer there's no lack of hummingbirds, butterflies, and hawk moths for the casual gardener. I;m a retired NEET, and live in mid Northern Illinois, and routinely drive about 85 in in a luxury car.

>>21578649
That speech sucked dick, ships like 100 pages long and ridiculous. The same themes are explored throughout the book and captured by shorter speeches but then she felt the need to rehash it in excruciating detail.

Read the Fountainhead, much better. Though it still doesn't escape Rands rape fetish.