/lit/ - Literature

Letter from a novel im writing sort of camp of the saints zombie apocalypse esque thing with multiple characters. i thought it was touching but perhaps to personal what do you think?
A Love Letter To A Southern Daughter
Dear Josephine,

Don’t Those days of ours seem so far away from us now? I have the impulse to write to your old address. You can’t still be there, I know, but do you remember Josephine? When we heard antebellum and thought “What a beautiful word” of white columns and cornbread. Even then it was already a distant memory to our parents and now it's well and truly dead. That dreamy phrase which for us held the keys to a gilded age when they called our Great-Grandparents Planters and our Grandfathers' knights. Ohh but Sweet One do you recall? We’d sit inside the magnolia at sunset and through its luster leaves light would peek and we’d dream of our own personal New York City night. Now the night is all I have.
Oh dear those were the gilded days when the Sun laid its heavy yoke on our sunburnt backs, My love how I wish to have stayed there, tracing Cherokee paths with my Moccasined princess. Through the Humid Piedmont hills we strolled and splashed in creeks to cool ourselves. Our Rome My Love! Our Rome!
I think I know what your grandmama meant when she said antebellum. My voice cracks when I think of Georgia. The way hers would when she would sing to us. About her farm, and about Sherman and the fires and the bees. “He even burnt the bees” She’d crack with a tear in her eye. We didn't understand, how could we sweet Josephine? Now I do because I cry thinking of her bees the farm which I never saw and her old slave maid. They remind me of you and what the tide has taken from us, our inheritance.

With Love, a Southern Son.

>>21576523
Gay for Dixieland. Also full of errors and poor wording

>>21576532
Can you be specific? Also i am gay for dixie land

I'm hard for games

>>21576523
>>21576523
Really saccharine. I don't see how something so corny could fit in a post apoc story.

>>21576523
OW my fuckin molars
im getting tooth decay from all these sweets!
and im definitely gonna get nightmares cos i always do when i eat SWEETS before bed. im gonna have to call a fackin DENTIST for my ROTTEN TEETH

>>21576572
I fuckin' love you, anon.

rate/critique my first chapter:
its about a highschooler who starts a club.
https://pastebin.com/fVkJ5q4q

>>21576794
>The school lunch bell gave way to talk of local celebrities, the sound of marching against marble tile, and a feeling of claustrophobia that Tom couldn’t shake no matter how much he waited for everybody to leave. It was an awkward feeling he learned to soothe by always being the last to leave, plus five minutes. Of course, it wasn’t like he couldn’t walk in a large group of people, he just preferred not to.

>Today he received a notice from his teacher about the after-school club he planned to create. He felt anxious about it. There would be no point in lying that he didn’t. He had failed to find other members since he sent in his registration. The club supervisor would tell him to close it and he would be forced to kill something before it even began.

>As he waited for the teacher to come he rubbed his hands against one another. It was soothing. He liked the way it reminded him to be present. Currently, he was here. Waiting. Of course, it wasn’t like he could be anywhere else.

This is very "tell". I dont' care about tom, or why or what club he wanted. Lets assume he wanted to start an anime club, because we all know that's what he wants. Should go something like this

"Kawaii!" Tom's phone shouted out. Good thing nobody else heard the squeals of Waifu-chan ---- his two hundred dollar Apple Airbuds made sure of that, but Tom couldn't hide the grin from his face. Waifu-chan was everything he wanted. A cute black haired girl with great bouncy breasts, slim hips. long legs, hips that shook a perfect rounded bottom, and most importantly? A charm akin to that of love; a devotion that no girl could ever match.

3D girls, also known as the bane of existence, or more colloquially on the internet, 3DPD, or 3D pig-disgusting. They repelled Tom. Every single word that spewed out of their mouths caused him to seethe with anger. Their cackles, laughs, and shrill voices made his heart recoil. The complete opposite of Waifu-Chan.

"Ara ara nii-san! Keikaku dori!" Waifu Chan said again. How could anyone understand Tom? They couldn't. Waifu-Chan was his and only his. She was there with him throughout the day. In the morning when woke, in the afternoon as he struggled thorugh the day, at night when she accompanied him eating dinner, and of course, in his dreams where she assuaged his loneliness. Tom was engaged with Doki Doki Kawaii Nii-San! The show that Waifu-Chan starred in when he felt a warm breath and another pair of eyes staring over his shoulder. A lecher that he sadly was all too familiar with. It was Kyleigh.

Tom shifted his phone to keep her gaze away from Waifu-Chan, but it was a failure. Kyleigh shifted her head catch another glimpse. It continued for minutes, and the bottom of the phone rubbed back and forth against the wooden desk countless number of times.

"What do you want?" Tom finally gave up trying to keep Kyleigh from watching the anime on his phone.

>>21576869
wow this was very unhelpful!

>>21576520
How do you personally regain confidence in your writing when you're hitting rock bottom? I've become such a cowardly piece of shit that i'm too afraid of scribbling so that i don't face just how bad my writing has devolved into during these past few years. Running away from the truth. It's embarrassing but i don't know what to do.

>>21576794
>Chapter 1
>no hook
i hope there is a prologue to this because reading it makes me not give a shit about Tom and i lose interest before the second paragraph though that's just my own personal taste

since his predicament is not being able to find people for his club, if you were to include a prologue, you give a scene about Tom absolutely freaking out, running through the hallways trying to find "someone"
you don't tell the reader why they are trying to find someone or anyone, for that matter, which piques the interest of the reader
then a slow melancholic build-up to the first chapter would make me care about Tom and want him to succeed

take this with a grain of salt since i mostly read thrillers

>>21576918
if you really want to write then write, even if its bad, I can guarantee everybody here is a horrible writer and just look at them pretend to write

>>21576918
Then write because you hate everyone and their lousy opinions.
Works for me!
I know I've done well when people seethe heavily over what I wrote.
The whole point of fiction is to evoke feelings in the reader, after all.

>>21576898
it was very helpful. Your writing is dry and doesn't really draw anyone into the story. Your writing is a list of things that happened. Just one after another.

>>21576928
>I can guarantee everybody here is a horrible writer
speak for yourself

>>21576925
I included a description why later on, but you are right about the hook. I do have to find something better.
>>21576939
I'm glad you could say it like this instead of sperging out.

>>21576958
post your work then

>>21576520
https://pastebin.com/saPEE9PL
Could any of you read and critique the first chapter to my cyberpunk novel?

>>21576988
not that anon, I just haven't posted a snippet in a while


He cornered her near some vending machines, an out of the way cubby where he could hiss at her. “This is the guy you’re dating?”

She didn’t meet his gaze, fidgeting her fingers as she said, “I mean, everything was sorted out amicably, wasn’t it? Not like he got charged with anything.”

He brushed his hand back through his hair and composed himself. They were in Delta, but not a corporate sector. The kind of wild west unregulated capitalism that could suck people up from Gamma. More money changed hands, but they had the same climate control, the same food, nearly the same air. The only big difference was in the crime–white collar rather than violent. Elliot and Ram were down the hall from just such a criminal, if only the courts had evidence against him.

Or rather, if he weren’t willing to cooperate with police investigations to buy himself temporary amnesty.

>>21576997
set to private dude

>>21576997
>Error, this is a private paste or is pending moderation. If this paste belongs to you, please login to Pastebin to view it.

who wants to read my yandere xianxia kpop fanfic?

>>21577036
no thanks bro

>>21576988
i'm a newfag, is /lit/ basically just /ic/ for high iq retards?

>>21577400
All of 4chan is for the dregs of humanity.
The fake anonymity is also a God-sent honeypot for the glowies.

>>21577400
if /ic/ is filled with people who never post their drawings and like to mercilessly shit on those who do then sure

>>21577400
never been to /ic/ but
>high iq retards
yeah, this is us

>>21577020
that's pretty good anon, i felt like i was experiencing the scene rather than just reading a script
i'm this anon btw >>21576925
not sure if i'm supposed to back up what i say with work, i guess this kind of works like /ic/?

>Small snippet of a VN I'm trying to work on: It's called "Self-Insert as a Loli in a Doujin Hentai" though that title is a WIP

“Though ‘gave’ would certainly be considered a euphemism if he had any say in the matter.”
>SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS
>PICTURE OF FUTURISTIC CLOCK TOWER with TEMP AND 3390 as CURRENT YEAR
“The enormous tower in the middle of the town, visible from even beyond the city, displays the current temperature: 33 degrees.”
“I clench my fists and let out a puff of air, a light vapor escapes my lips.”
>CHEERING GOING ON IN THE BACKGROUND
>PICTURE OF DRAG QUEEN DANCE
“I arrive at the center of town, where public displays of sexual depravity routinely occur at night and look towards the crowd surrounding a large stage.”
“A small boy, about eleven or twelve years old is on the stage dressed in strange garments and nearly naked in front of all the men surrounding him.”
“The young boy dances provocatively for the old men who are publicly masturbating without shame, some even letting out exaggerated groans.”
“I cringe and decide to step up my pacing as this isn’t the place a young girl would want to be caught in at night and I was about to find out why.”
u “Hey, baby. Don’t go.”
“I hear a man’s voice behind me, raspy and phlegmy.”
>BLACK OLD MAN SICKLY LOOKING
“I turn my head and notice a dark-skinned, sickly looking man approaching me. The way he was walking convinced me that I could easily out run him.”
>WHITE OLD MAN ON A CANE
“As he was walking towards me, another man approached in front of me. He was a very old and likely to stumble into a grave before he could reach me.”

>>21577436
>100%, impeccable and accurate description of /ic/

>>21577455
>>21577455
Really it's anywhere that requires effort and is anyonomous, most people can't put in effort

How do you get back into writing after a dry period?

I'm ready to start writing again what are some good warm ups to get back into the grove

>>21577662
Journaling a few nights a week, and then moving up to those online prompt generators or simply asking people you know for a prompt. Helped me a lot 500-1000 words.

Mike Ma is trans and a middling writer
F. Gardener’s reputation precedes him but his prose leaves much (talent) to be desired
Waldun is beneath mention and I soil my fingers typing his name…
I have healthy respect for Pseduo-Bulkington, but he too shall fall…

>>21577662
>good warm ups to get back into the grove
Do some short sets of squats and hops and dress warm. Take bug spray if you need to.

>>21577662
creative shitposting

>>21576898
I don't know what the weebshit was about, but that anon is right. The first paragraph is all telegraphing what Tom feels and wants. This isn't a cardinal scene, but it's boring. It takes me out of the action. Why not describe Tom staying behind, watching people going out in groups until he's left alone? Do you read teenager fiction, by the way? They're all about wallflower type people, so you'll soon find the right away to present this sort of demeanor.
>Of course, it wasn’t like he couldn’t walk in a large group of people, he just preferred not to.
Why mention this if it's so obvious?
>Today he received a notice from his teacher about the after-school club he planned to create. He felt anxious about it.
While technically correct, received confuses the tenses and makes it seem like he already has the notice. I have already discussed why "He felt anxious about it" is bad writing.
My advice is to read more of what you're trying to write.

>>21577439
I don't know an thing about VNs, so can't really comment on style. But "approached in front of me" is terrible. Approached me from the front.

>>21577439
thanks anon.

>>21563477
If nothing changes, this should be the structure of the story.

The west hates isekai so much yet they can't write a good one as evident of Forspoken lmao
you guys have to try better instead of criticizing other garbage

>>21576537
>Can you be specific?
"When we heard antebellum and thought “What a beautiful word” of white columns and cornbread." Can you see what is wrong with this sentence?

>>21576520
You know how everyone's an "idea guy" and never gets any work done?
Well for me, the opposite. I'm ready to jump in but I don't have an idea. Everything is overdone.
Give me a weird idea anon. No matter how

>>21579161
>I'm ready to jump in but I don't have an idea.
Literally me.
Let's try something. I'll attempt to come up with some random prompt for you, and you do the same in return.
Okay here goes:
"Two passengers on a train enjoy conversation. It turns out that they are both going to the same destination to meet the same person, but for different motivations."

>>21579203
Uhmmm murmru ueeruur rp uro... hmm . uhhh
"There's a guy who desperately wants to get something, but various obstacles and nemesi preclude him from reaching said goal, so he has to grow and change along the way"

I watched too many youtuber essays on storytelling
I've read too many TVTropes pages
I don't think there's a way back

>>21579210
I think we have to get over the pressure of novelty. Everything has been done before and exists based off other works. The point is to come up with our version. You don't even need to have a crazy twist on the genre, just do what you want.
This is what I am always repeating to myself, anyways. I have a handful of tiny sparks of ideas, but I'm constantly second-guessing myself on whether it's been done before or not.

>>21576520
>Setting is modern day America
>No mass shootings mentioned
>No abortion discussed
>No swearing
>All white cast
What are some other effective ways to break reader immersion?

>>21579227
Not enough bald men

>>21579225
Nah novelty exists we just gotta really channel inner experience instead of accepting that our fate is to rehash the same 7 plots

>>21579161
>>21579161
A newly converted vampire caught in a timeloop. The name: re:Vamp

>>21579227
No mention of cell phone usage or social media
Random asides about Christianity and the Crusades
Interstitial section that don’t use quotation marks for dialogue
Etc

>>21576869
I want more of weebshit story. I think this has legs as a cute rom com

don't write for yourself, i write texts for myself and then i put it in a metaphorical draw, come back to it 5 months later, oh what's this, whoa interesting bro, then i read it, wow, this is fucking trash, oh wait i wrote this.

whether you like it or not you are making things for other people. your past self is making stuff for a future self who is a different person.

>>21579508
When I read my old stuff from years, even over a decade ago, it makes me go "yeah, this guy knows what I like".

>>21579508
sounds like you're just shit

>>21579530
yeah i get surprised with myself now and then too but my point is that I'VE GOT TO STOP JUST BEING LAZY, and actually learn how to structure shit. i do it for all other mediums but i always get lazy when it comes to writing and i pay the price.

How am I supposed to write knowing that there's tens of thousands of English and Literature graduates out there who may even have Masters and PhDs that are also producing books? How will I ever match up to these guys and their creative writing classes or whatever where they get the best of best education? Just up and get a famous author as my mentor? Yeah, right. I'm stuck forever in the writer boonies with editors rejecting you without even reading anything.

>>21579553
Why would you care about those people?

>>21579537
that was my intended point i'm too lazy to be thorough when i make a post. how drunk do i have to be to even make a post? answer: very.

I'm writing a fantasy story set in the elder scrolls universe,

I have a vague idea of one lady being pregnant and escaping her enslavers (I can't tell what race I wanna make her its set in eastern tamriel) And a lilmothiit character who is the last of his kind trying to figure out what it means when he dies his culture is gone.

How do I make a plot out of this? I have the ideas but i'm not sure how to do it.

>>21578273
i didn't think about that, thanks

>my main plot isn't turning out as great as I thought it would
>considering starting my book over

>>21579574
do what grr martin would do and write it all out then figure how the story goes

post your best piece of work (longer 1500 words)

i'm about 25k into my autofiction, in search of lost time/my struggle type thing endeavor, and i'm starting to get bored of it. i started with my earliest memories and i am around kindergarten now. what do?

>>21579697
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-Wo2qMrb7dtI99EKwn_lDfMRjNuLbX_tnu5O4sDI0ec/edit?usp=drivesdk

A working draft

>>21576520
Reminder that we're all going to make it anons

>>21579914
I hope this turns out well. I might buy 4chan advertising

>>21576520
I am writing a high fantasy legal drama

Can some anons post their writing schedule? 10 years in and I'm asking this question. 2 jobs. A wife. And a new daughter. I haven't written anything serious in months. How do I find the fucking time.....

>>21580034
give one of the jobs to the wife and the other to the daughter

>>21579983
FUN!

>>21580034
i write on google docs on my iphone while im laying in bed before falling asleep. i try to push myself to write 350 every night. i used to spend like at least an hour mindlessly scrolling/going on 4chan on my phone in bed so this was a logical timeslot for me to fill. you just have to get over the idea that you need to be like seated at a special desk, typing at a laptop uninterrupted. just do it on your phone when you have a few free minutes... i can't imagine you couldn't scrape at least 20 minutes together throughout the day, even if it's 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there

>>21577920
I'm reading the Orators right now and its got some really cool ideas but man, there's typos. Fucking typos.

>>21580279
How do people miss so many typos that people comment on it? My books have half a dozen each, which sure as shit ain't worth paying hundreds of dollars for a copyeditor over, but the only people to mention them think they're being helpful

>>21580034
>>21580156
I had a lot of success in the last year writing on my phone using darkmode Google docs while papoosing my daughter while she napped or any other time I consistently had quiet time.

Always back your shit up with a local copy

>>21580638
lol i think i actually got the idea of writing on my phone in bed from seeing you post about doing it in these threads so thank you

>>21576520
Honest thoughts on this opening? I know an opening can't afford to be poop.

>>21580429
I make tons of typos, but it's a matter of professionalism and will make one better at writing to just sit down, be patient, and read one word at a time. Having test readers is also a huge help.

>>21580034
I'm pretty bad at any concrete schedule. Sometimes in the morning before work, sometimes late at night after work. You just have to make it a daily habit, and if the words just aren't coming try editing, re-reading critically, etc.

I'm currently working on the second half of my novel. More worldbuilding details are coming clear, and I already know what needs to be edited in the first half. Just 140~ish pages left to go.

>>21580776
I'm not very upset about 1 typo every 20,000 words anon, but yes I agree that the best thing to do is look for them and learn to not make them in the first place

short story about incels obsessed with analingus: goblins on uranus; fin

The deadline is the end of January and I have writer's block.

It's over isn't it? I should give up.

>>21580874
Never give up, never surrender.
You may fail and it may be hopeless but at least you make them sweat thinking you just might make it.
In every dying star is a chance to go supernova and take everything else with it.
Be the biggest crab in the bucket.
Crawl tall in the pot and say "at least I didn't fail as hard as the other guy!"

>>21579697
https://johnjaystancliff.substack.com/p/a-record-of-occupancy

>>21580761
Pretty good. Here's my suggested edits, just to make that first paragraph a little punchier.

>>21579553
Those guys just end up working in publishing, academia, or shit out some MFA-washed piece of shit novel. I read a massively popular book written by a Classics professor that stank of an MFA program and it was total dreck. Better to have artistic integrity.

do you guys ever try to "return to your roots"?

>>21581256
I have no roots, only shit

Bulkington, are the banner ads doing anything for your book? Genuinely curious.

>>21580692
My man, so glad to hear it actually helped another anon out. Keep on chugging and if you used it on the computer be sure to try pageless and darkmode - max kino

>>21576520
thoughtses?

>>21579268
Yes I get that, but anything you come up with is going to "sound similar" or remind someone of a different plot or setting. There isn't really anything anyone could possibly come up with that would be truly original and groundbreaking in every way.
Maybe instead of being dismissive of these plots we should recognize that they are common and repeated for a reason.
You never gave me a prompt by the way, I actually came up with something decent and you gave me a textbook reading of a term definition.

I used to consider 1.5 k-2.5k word chapter smol. Now 3k - 4 k is smol.
Well damn I guess i can write...Now if only i could improve quality.

>>21581835
>3k - 4 k
>smol
that's a good size. that's about 15 minutes at a minute a page. long chapters have a place, short chapters do too, but in general try to be kind to your reader.

Do you guys think unarmed (hand-to-hand) combat has a place in high fantasy?
As we know, sword and magic is strongly ingrained in this genre, and for a good reason. How would you feel, however, if the main character of a book found himself in a situation where he had to throw hands with his opponent? I mean a real fight, with high and low kicks, broken noses and missing teeth.
Would it be a nice change? Or would it be inelegant? Rustic? Too down to earth, unmagical?
What would you think if, say, LOTR had a moment like that?

>>21582176
I think there is literally nothing less interesting than the question of whether or not a fistfight "belongs" in your RR genre fiction schlock. It is the most boring question a writer can possibly ever ask.

I posted this for feedback in the WWOYM thread. I probably should have posted it here instead, so I'm doing that now. Any feedback is appreciated. Pic rel.

>>21581609
>You never gave me a prompt by the way
I can't. That's why I'm here.

>>21579161
I'm already doing it but I'm confident you might be better than me at it.
>Not!Latin nobleman in Fictionalized rip-off of sub roman europe copes and seethes about being a dying people ruled over first by germans and now by steppe people loosely based upon the khzars/avars and maybe does something about it.
The plot has more than that on its bones but I doubt anyone really cares plus there are elements of wish fulfillment I'm too embarassed to describe.
Well that and honestly I'd get really pissed if you did my idea better than I did, so best to keep it vague.

>>21579574
What do they want?

>>21582176
There was a hand-to-hand fight in the first "Xanth" book by Piers Anthony.
It was very much plot-related.

>>21577049
>>21578002
>>21579537
>>21582202
seethe

From my secondary character's POV

How do I edit? My editing is so shit.

>>21583278
>If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.

>40k words in
>suddenly feel like my main plot is pure shit
What do?
And on a question related to my problem: what is a good reason for a mc to travel around the world?

How do you wrestle with wanting to start a new project but needing to finish an older one?

>>21583773
Why not just work on both of them, switching between them as you feel like it?

>>21583779
Because that'll lead to two incomplete works in the end and nothing will be completed or accomplished. I found being able to do one work at a time and getting things done prevents me from dropping stories half way. Commitment man.

How do you guys deal with your writing being shit? It's so demoralizing. I'm slogging through the final key scenes of a novel, 82k in (writing out of order). Going back to read earlier parts is crushing, a total momentum killer. Everything's shit. Utter, utter shit. Bad dialogue, bad prose, stupid plot, awful pacing, half-baked worldbuilding, flat characters. Way too many beats. Reading it feels like wading through neck-deep pig manure. Just atrocious.
>inb4 muh first draft
Even if i do stick with it, it will take me literal years to turn this mess into something even worth beta reading. It seems like sheer mountain face. Thank you for reading my blog.

>>21583851
post chapter 1
you either start anew with another book, using what you learned to improve, or you start again, rewriting your original story, if you really like the one you wrote and its characters/plot

>>21583630
post something + describe plot
any reason he wants that follows the expectations of the audience (ie. he's always wanted to travel, so now he's traveling. He's always curious, so of course he starts traveling. He has to find someone, so he starts traveling)

>>21583630
looking for something
running away from something
going on a pilgrimage
going places on business. assassin. diplomat. merchant. insurance adjuster.

>>21583861
Did that once. Got 90k into a draft and gave up at the climax because I realised it was unsalvageable shit. This current novel IS my new story. I think the concept is OK, but the execution has been shit. And execution is the only thing that counts.

>>21583898
then I guess you have your answer, its seems more like you don't want to edit your book (and desu you will never get that perfect 1 draft novel)

>>21576520
Several new faces in the /lit/ top ten this week, with John Jay Stancliff's Fedbook seizing the #2 position from James Krake, and Victor Akaso's Retribution Engine securing a handy spot in the top five. Call of the Crocodile remains near the top of the list, and several other F Gardner books have secured spots for themselves amongst the rankings. Although Ogden Nesmer's I Pray to the Hungry God has seen an increase in sales, it has dropped in the rankings. Pseudo Bulkington, Spencer Weedman, and Zulu Alitspa have been pushed from the top ten by Gardner's recent spree of success.

This week, the editor of the Top Ten takes time to answer some recent (you)'s. In the Gossip Catalog, we see that several prominent /wg/ authors have experienced a downturn of luck beyond their dismal sales. Our heart goes out to Ogden Nesmer, who is apparently suffering from diabetes.

>>21583851
Easy have an unbridled ego and unwavering confidence that the very definition of denialism flows through your veins

>>21583944
give me the rundown on what this is? Haven't been here for a while

>>21583944
It's fucking ogre guys

How the hell does CotC keep sales so consistently?

>>21583952
Self-published books from anons who come to these threads. As you can see, none of us know how to market.

>>21583944
MUST KILL MIKE MA

>>21583944
You're the angloid who does the unreal press podcast right?

>>21583945
This is why my writing hasn't helped my alcoholism. Dutch courage ain't just for combat.

>>21583944
Good for you John. Shilling on 4chan and reddit really helped.

>>21583588

Better?

>>21584141
My goal is to be the first poster to get his novel optioned for an HBO miniseries. Then I will truly have achieved “Reddit gold,” so to speak.

Does /lit/ listen to music while writing? Is it a necessity for you or does it cloud your mind?

>>21584159
No.
>while walking looking
>her draw dropped
>who loved visiting abandoned places it was his passion
who loved visiting abandoned places. It was his passion

You have too many long run on sentences with fucked up punctuation. Chop them up. Condense information. Don't be afraid of periods

>>21583845
That may be your experience, granted, but that's not my experience.
I find my ideas don't come to me linearly.
I have an outline editor that I use to categorize my ideas where they might be of the most use.
When I have enough ideas to write something, I do.
But I see no value in sticking to something where I'm creatively blocked.
Working on something else quite often frees up my creative blocks on other works.
Maybe your muse doesn't work that way, but mine does.
Still, to each his own. Do what works for you.

>>21584077
Writing is not a zero-sum game.
Someone else's success isn't your failure.
Your demotivational failed-crab nonsense is why you fail; it's no one else's fault but yours.

>>21583944
"Re: Trailer Trash" is currently #32,540 on Amazon.
I know that author posts here occasionally.
Any reason he isn't considered /lit/?

>>21584270
Hey now, I’m no crab. I’m just better than Mike Ma and impatient to see this borne out in sales. I apologize for the inflammatory language.

>>21582826
what?

how do you fags deal with the fact that success is so depended on marketing?

>>21584447
We can't deal with it. We just wither and die from this hobby never knowing if there will be an iota of success.

>>21584447
Shill myself at every concievable opportunity

>>21584447
Because viral marketing happens.
The interest in Andy Weir's "The Martian" was organic, starting with people that read the free copy he posted online who wanted to buy a copy.
Then he started selling e-books, and it became popular enough that traditional publishers showed interest.
The tradpubbed version did so well, Hollywood came knocking.
And now he's a multimillionaire.

>>21584447
I don't care about being successful. If I cared, I would write genre schlock. I just want to be published.

>>21584501
but those stories are one in a million while successfully marketed books are numerous

>>21579574
t. furfag

>>21584447
Tesla died penniless while Edison died a multi-millionaire.
I cope by trying to be the best I can be at what I do, take solace in the fact that prioritizing quality over marketing/business acumen is the right thing to do and by doing so I'm in very good company; the best, in fact.
If this means I die poor, so be it.

>>21584226
I listen to music, specially EDM with no lyrics. Even made several lists and know which ones help me with action, dialogue, etc.

>>21584668
>prioritizing quality over marketing/business acumen is the right thing to do
those aren't opposites. you can walk and chew gum at the same time

>>21584507
Marketing takes money.
Do you have the money to pay for marketing?

>>21584743
While they aren't necessarily mutually exclusive there are forks in the road where you'll have to make decisions between the two.
Do you make the clickbait title? Or do you title artistically and appropriately?
Do you pander? Or do you retain integrity?
Do you make what you think people want? Or do you make what you (and often they) need?
Of course things are never so black and white as
>if you advertise at all you're a piece of shit
>if you don't advertise then you're a saint
but you will have to ask yourself whether what you're doing is actually for the good of the work, or if you're compromising quality for a buck.
It's moreso about priorities: Are you spending more time thinking about how to market your work, or are you thinking about how you can make your work the best it can possibly be?

>>21583880
>>21583896
Thanks, but I just figured out what was wrong with the plot.
I just had to remove one detail about the mc and everything went back to the tracks.

>>21584802
>I just had to remove one detail about the mc and everything went back to the tracks
>one detail fixed everything
sounds like you were suffering from a depressive episode more than anything

>>21584796
>Are you spending more time thinking about how to market your work, or are you thinking about how you can make your work the best it can possibly be?
and now you're putting the cart before the horse. write first, then market a finished product

>>21584913
It was a rather large detail.
I'll have to rewrite some stuff and discard one whole chapter.

>>21584920
Make something first, then sell it.
Wow, I never thought about it like that; if I was even thinking at all.
How'd you get so smart, anon?

>>21585018
I don't preemptively sabotage myself by engaging in schizoaffective behavior and dwelling on the negative.

the allotted time has begun
good luck my homies

I am going to post an excerpt of my own writing here, one that has been looked over at least once to correct any grammatical errors. But I have not corrected any stylistic or aesthetic errors within.

The reason why I am posting this excerpt of a short story, is precisely because I'm wondering if I can even get it published. It contains anti-semitism, and I'm wondering if you consider the amount within to be acceptable enough for publication, or if I should tone it down.

>>21585188
Though I smothered Cohen to death with a pillow, I am not his murderer. I was charged with a hate crime, but I did not do it out of hate. It was both, at once, a great mercy and a considerable contribution towards the continued protection of the general public. After I tell you of my sordid tale, of which I alone am left to tell, you will see why it is so unreasonable to keep me in this institution for long.

In the summer of 2019, I was a young man who had been disinherited of my Grandfather's immense fortune. Destitute, and near deprived of everything that should have rightfully been mine—save for snub-nosed revolver my Grandfather always carried on him; I had little choice for work.

It was to my then considerable fortune that I had chanced upon the old Kosher deli, and seeing that they had little in means of workers and were hiring, I figured that I would apply in spite of my reservations at the sight of the place. I did not know then, but my hesitation was a sign that I should have stayed well away from that cursed deli.

I walked into the deli with nothing but the clothes on my back and a near-empty wallet, and upon seeing the old proprietor of the deli, my hopes for any chance of employment collapsed entirely.

The old proprietor, known as Cohen, was as Jewish a man descended matrilineally of old Roman stock could get. His curled hair had long gone grey, yet his build was still stocky and powerful. He spoke with a overwhelmingly powerful Yiddish accent, and upon seeing me, greeted me in Yiddish, assuming me for one of his own.

I spoke to him, and told him that I was not there to purchase anything, but that I had seen his notice for employment and had come in to the shop, with little qualification save for my will to work for an honest wage, for the purpose of gaining employment within. His dark, indiscernable gaze fell upon me for but a moment, no doubt calculating the gains that could be squeezed out of a desperate young man, and the losses he could no doubt cheat me out of.

He then spoke to me, “When can you work?”

I told him, “Now or tomorrow.”

As it was very late in the day when I had come upon his shop, he bid me to come behind the counter, and as I did, the striking countenance of an ancient, decrepit wine box greeted me. I was briefly startled at the sight, for I recognized it for what it was, yet the owner, no doubt falling to his fouler instincts, said nothing of it and took me back.
(1/2)

>>21585195
He told me, in a Yiddish-English scop, that there was a small unused office at the back I could use as a room, and that I could hose myself down in the butchery room if I'd like, and that he'd have a uniform ready for me by tomorrow, and that I should turn in as soon as I could for he would call me at an ungodly, yet very Jewish time for work. I could understand the meaning of the old Jew, and I inwardly scoffed at his worse nature overtaking him. I said that I would return, and I walked out of the establishment to my car to get my possibles and spare clothing.

I should have driven away when I could have.

After I stowed my few belongings away into the unused office, where a spare, squeaky mattress had been taken out from somewhere and laid out for me, the old Jew showed me around the stations of butchery, and taught me the tricks of deep Jewry for cutting meat in a kosher way, and much else, before he told me to come with him and observe.

As he left the room, the once sterile and boring room seemed to come alive with a malicious intent. The hanging butcher hooks sank lower, the wet knives gleamed sharper, and the soaked concrete floor was all the more slippery. Each component of the Butchery, vital in their lonely use, had all come together in a secret covenant against my personage. Yet in spite of the maliciousness of the carving knives and cleavers haphazardly laid out on wet pink rags, there was nothing more desolate than the feeling of Jewishness that permeated the back. I shuddered and swiftly followed after the old Jew.

He stood there behind the counter, both hands laid flat on the clear glass pane, and slightly leaning forwards, waited for his next customer with a distinct eagerness that was altogether disturbingly familiar to me. It was the love of money that so ingrained itself to the Jewish race, that it was part of their soul, other than loud arguments over nothing and the propensity to being exiled from places of living. I stood there beside him, and beside the warped dusty wine box that remained tightly closed in spite of its disuse. God how that thing unsettled me most.

(2/2)

pls read my pottery, pic related, thx

>>21585195
Is that very first line taken verbatim from EYE?

>>21585296
It's actually taken from The Thing on the Doorstep, but after reading your comment, I've come to realize that it better resembles that infamous line from EYE than anything else.

>>21585188
To me, it seems not only excessively anti-Semitic, but pointlessly so.

Should I use semi-colons in fiction or not? I hear a lot of people saying it's ugly prose. What is the full argument against them?
>inb4 just do what's most comfortable for you
I don't want to practice a bad habit. I have always used them though

>>21585552
>I hear a lot of people saying it's ugly prose
They do? I think it's a very refined tool when used correctly.

>finish first draft
>Check it
>Everything is ridiculously sparse and there's so much more I could and should say
I thought first drafts were supposed to be bloated? Is there a mindset issue I'm having?

Does a writing degree help with getting a career in creative writing?

>>21585652
They can also be skeletal, my first drafts often are

>>21576520
>Story begins with character greeting the reader and introducing herself.
Is this method ever justified?

>>21585778
house of cards did it

>>21585778
sure

>>21585778
Call me Ishmael.

>>21585753
Yes, you meet all the blue hairs and they can get you in as long as you have enough intersectionality points and your story is nothing more than thinly veiled propaganda for leftist dogma.

>>21579227
African American characters are civilized non-guiltrippers

>>21579227
The last one is very immersive
I have not seen a minority outside of a screen in years

Why did they fail to see such bombastic writing with disdain during its heyday? Expressing an emotion is one thing but word soup is surely not the way to go.

>two girls ask what I'm writing
>Tell them and share my work
>Tells me nobody wants to read it
>Insist I write erotica
>Show them another story with a sex scene
>Tell me that's what they want
Guess will be writing an erotica.

>pic for attention

Would anybody be generous enough to read a chapter I just banged out? I will gladly trade imput for imput so long as the lengths are relative and the goals are similar. It's 2200 words, and will admittedly have many moments that one wouldn't understand due to not having read the previous chapters. That all being said:

I'm looking for someone to just give me thoughts or at least conformation, or not, on if the chapter feels rushed or simply poorly constructed. Nothing long winded; not even any suggestions, really, unless you want to. The goal of the chapter is to create a sense uneasiness that ends in horror. But even I do feel that I didn't give enough time nor details to build the uneasiness needed for the horror to be impactful. Which is precisely why I'd like insight.

To whomever may choose to do so, all I ask is that you must actually: enjoy reading fiction, in particular high fantasy; that you understand what is being asked of you and that you are reading something built off of more than 15k words before it; and that it is rough and roughly edited just enough to hopefully keep the reading mostly smooth--meaning you must understand that I'm asking an assessment of the delivery of content in words, not their structuring nor depth of language. The latter two come with editing.


Thanks in advance to any takers.

are there any stories in antiquity where a magician turns a staff into a sort of vapor or other inanimate objects? similar to how moses turned his staff into a snake and back

>>21586456
I once paid a magician to turn my staff into a snake if you know what I mean

>>21586285
For fucks sake you gorilla nigger just post a link to the sample. Lurk more, or better yet learn to be more efficient with language than a 1k word request for people to read 2k

Early dawn rain hits the roof of the lonely vehicle. Unaccompanied on the stretch of highway waiting for the inevitable meeting of others like it and their daily pilgrimage to the centre of civilization.

Inside a man sits making slow movements in time with the curves of the road all the while staring out desolately at the surroundings and freedom they hold.

He’s early and turns on the coffee machine and files yesterdays reports and while the office is empty relishes in the moments of freedom and anonymity closing his eyes and listening to the hum and whine of the machines that fill his days and his nights and his dreams and his nightmares and slowly, slowly he hears the soft hum of voice closing in and the dread sets like a hot coal in his stomach and he doesn’t know if he can do it again he doesn’t know if he can look in the eyes of these prisoners these fellow inmates and imitate human compassion and empathy and life.

His eyes open and the day starts.
“Morning Linda”
“Bill, you get a win last night?”
“You got tonight's numbers?”

It’s all meaningless but he does it and his breath comes tighter and tighter as the day goes on.
He leaves after everyone else has left the carpark and in his mind he prays that he never has to do that again.

He has a wife and she’s home when he arrives. She is loving and breathtaking. Spiteful and insipid. She tells him all the things that happened in her day sparing no detail but his brain is broken and he can only put on a simulation of emotions.

He wakes up before the sun rises but doesn’t leave. He tells his wife he is starting late today because of meetings and kisses her goodbye. She smiles and tells him she loves him, waves as she pulls out the driveway.

The suitcase was his fathers. A hard case piece of luggage that saw the entirety of this red country.
He packs his world into it.

He sits at the window of a bus and watches the only life he’s known slowly pass him by until he has to turn in his seat to look back at what he’s leaving behind.

As the city retreats further and further away his chest loosens. He breathes.

>>21587127
>Early dawn rain hits the roof of the lonely vehicle. Unaccompanied on the stretch of highway waiting for the inevitable meeting of others like it and their daily pilgrimage to the centre of civilization.
>Inside a man sits making slow movements in time with the curves of the road all the while staring out desolately at the surroundings and freedom they hold.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz BORING!!!!

>>21587146
thats how i feel too. thanks that actually made me feel better

>>21584507
It probably also helps that Weir wrote two other novels before that, as well as a ton of short stories, all while holding down jobs in the software industry.
Can you honestly say that?
Unemployed drug-addicted coomers (i.e. 4chan's primary audience) aren't likely to have the discipline it takes to succeed at anything, including novel writing.

>>21587193
>Unemployed drug-addicted coomers (i.e. 4chan's primary audience)
Are (you) included or excluded from this characterization?

>>21587127
>Paragraph 1-2
I really have no questions, nothing comes to mind. The imagery needs to be more detailed, be more specific so I can really picture whats happening (buts that's more taste). But the main problem for me in these two sentences is that the start of what I'm assuming is a chapter or book doesn't produce questions in my head. Like the first question would be "why is he in the lonely vehicle?" but you answer that in the first sentence and the second one starts with no purpose other then to detail it more when I don't have any reason to care, no question, not really intrigued by the character other then his loneliness which I understand to be the drudgery of work/life. It doesn't have a mystery and I'm not attached to the characters yet (even when I can resonate with what he feels).

>Paragraph 3-5
Not seeing the point of the story, where's the story? Is it a man escaping from the drudgery of work? Is it someone finding meaning in the little things of life? I don't know what to expect, I don't even know what genre this would be in.

>Paragraph 6-10
okay so the payoff was that he leaves, but to what? so far I've been reading descriptions but have no attachments to the characters, no questions for the story, no struggle. Just a premise "A man hates his life in work" and a payoff "Man leaves his life" but no questions are answered so the payoff falls short of anything meaningful.

The one question that is asked was answered in the first sentence and then you have descriptions when, in my opinion, it would be more interesting if you asked the question in the first sentence, didn't answer it, and had descriptions in between until the second to last sentence were you then get the payoff. Build the tension.

As a whole I feel like you then bring up, in the end, a good question. "Where is he going? Whats next?" (I obviously know why he left. But maybe I shouldn't. If you were to read just from Paragraph 6-10 this would be a start of a very interesting story) But I don't feel interested because it doesn't feel like my expectations are met in the first part, if that makes sense? Like the previous segment didn't satisfy me, so why would this one?

Overall, good job! I feel like there is potential in here for a very interesting story.

>>21587236
Most definitely excluded.
My impression of 4channers has evolved based on interaction with this site.
What I don't understand is who funds these people.
My best guess is that it's a combination of government disability payments and overly permissive parents.

>>21587127
It's a decent slice-of-life about middle class angst that might be interesting when expanded into a story.
So far, though, it doesn't offer much in the way of escapism. You'll have to write about how he makes his way after ditching his previous life.
>>21587146
>useless seething

>>21587252
>>21587127
also another way to possibly make it better (if you don't want to get rid of the entire opening part) would be to get rid of the second sentence. It improves the story 10x

>>21587193
>Unemployed drug-addicted coomers (
Why don't we write more erotica?

>>21587298
Because they're antisocial shut-ins, and their only experience with erotica is jacking off to pr0n.

post your BEST piece of work (longer then 1500 words)

>>21587276
(You) can't be this dumb right?
Just a cursory glance at the labels of the boards is enough to tell you that this sites demographic is more diverse then 'le junkie shit-in coomers'.
While /r9k/, /a/ and /b/ might fit your narrow assessment the rest of the boards and their inhabitants dwarf their postership by a healthy margin.
20 years ago what you classify as a 4channer was the a-typical but now? Its just a myth perpetrated by people who are afraid of the very idea of anonymity because it is such a polar opposite to the populist cult of personality that pervades a majority of social media.

>>21587276
I want to know more about how you mentally compartmentalize the two simultaneous facts of beings a user and audience member of 4chan, and also not being a part of it.

>>21586925
I promise I've been coming to this board longer than you and know for a fact that if you're not specific on what you want assessed, you're likely not going to get assessed in that way. Especially in something only slightly edited and cut from a story already six chapters in. If reading the request that's a few lines is tedious to you, is it not likely you'll not give an honest read to something 10x longer? Especially without direction?

>>21587465
I'm an observer.
I'm in the board, but not of the board.

>>21587478
Yet you can't stop contradicting yourself and insulting the people here.
So the obvious question for you is: when are you leaving?

>>21587491
When watching your pathetic attempts at humaning ceases to entertain me.
I'm still snickering over the freakout a few threads back, when some anon declared that having $50/week in discretionary income was some sort of unthinkable luxury.
Also, I'm looking for diamonds in the rough. They're rare, but worth finding.

>>21587463
Every board I've looked at shows the same sign of deranged imbecile participants.
I mostly read /lit/, /b/, and /pol/, and haven't noticed much of a difference in quality.

>>21587514
Well given that 66% of the boards (you) frequent fall into the deranged category that is hardly surprising.
Also there is the oxymoronic fact that we are having this conversation on the site to begin with.
Then there is the issue that you have failed to account for one important factor (you) . (You)r faulty cognition as evidenced by me having to explain the board readership correlation TWICE already means that (you) are likely the problem to begin with.
Or (you)r just trolling and farming (you)'s which ties back into (you) being the root of the maladjustment.

ummm...what does any of this have to do with writing?

How do I sto p being afeared of bat written

>>21587655
Get a dictionary or a school book and learn to write properly.

>>21587514
I assume it's close to the pareto principle. Basement dwelling chuds only make up 20% of the total posters but make 80% of the posts. That's why we could have a 100 unique posters in a thread, but a third of the posts end up being about CotC due to a couple spamming imbeciles.

>>21587607
I'll bet you smell like dirty socks.

A hard thump rocks the surface of the door. Then there's the shout of someone in distress. "FUCK!"

(How'd I do?)

Looking for some critique on the text in the image.

>>21576523
Like some other have said, it's a bit too sweet. It feels artificial. That said, I like how you opened, it made me read.

>>21576918
Journal. For me, the freewriting element really makes me not care about writing badly, and it gets me to write *anything*. Starting is the hardest.

>>21587607

How do I into poetry? I have one month.

>check out litrerotica to see what the hell are girls reading
>colleen hoover books
>all these "dark fantasy"
>read a few excerpts
>very direct and in your face.
>low use of senses besides something like "his cock pressed into my pussy causing me to moan just so slightly."

I think I can write to the masses of horny middle aged women.

>>21587921
Do you just want to learn of good poetry to read, and how to read it well? Or do you want to understand how to write good poetry? Or both?

>>21588024
I would like to know how it's possible to compose anything with meaningful content while observing a rigid form

>>21587745
1. What do you smell like
2. What brings you to this Peruvian Basket Weaving Forum
3. Why don't you leave

>>21588054
Through intelligence and creativity. You know... like all art mediums.

>>21588195
>mediums
It's 'media', you unlettered pleb.

lets face it
none of you fuckers write

>>21587465
This.
The people who do this are a special kind of retarded.

>>21587921
one sentence a day, like john milton

>>21576520
I realised I'm a bad writer when it comes to building an image. I never have the right amount of language, neither in showing rather than telling, nor in seamlessly going from one point to another. I can be pretty repetitive and even derivative. Are there any authors to study to help this?

>>21588054
>rigid form
The first is to realise it's rigorous, rather than rigid. Dante in particular doesn't just follow one way of saying something or one type of rhythm, as he broke the mould of vernacular Italian which became modern Italian.
As for English poetry, just read a prosody and some blank verse like Milton until you get good, or even just Shakespeare's sonnets. Iambic pentameter should be easy if you are a native English speaker.

>>21588517
I was referring to those who create art as channelers, or mediums, you pompous illiterate twit.

>>21587504
>when some anon declared that having $50/week in discretionary income was some sort of unthinkable luxury
I remember reading that, some people here lives so vastly different to my own it can be hard to relate to them sometimes. Especially the angry and bitter, discontented yet opinionated few. This is certainly an interesting place, I'll say that much.

>>21587276
>>21587514
>midwit narcissist stumbles upon website designed to filter him
>gets filtered
>thinks he's superior for being filtered and not just a total retard who doesn't get it
Sad! Many such cases.

>>21588625
The Great Filtering filters those who filter no light into their hearts. Amen.

okay, but like, when do we start talking about writing?

>>21588643
Writing is to be done, not waffled over like dilettantes seem to think. Why do you think Pound used to say you had to learn how to write properly while reading properly before you could even make a list of works to read, or to critique another man's poem?

>>21588660
what are you even saying? talk english

>>21588661
I'll keep the sentences short for your Twitter addled brain.
Learn to write by reading. Once you can write, then you can critique.

>>21588664
post your work then mister smartman

>>21588668
Why? No one here has proven they can read yet. Asking for a critique from an illiterate, who has not read even a portion of the canon, is like asking for a blowjob from a crack whore. Unsatisfactory. Depraved. Ugly. And it has the potential for disease.

>>21588678
why? That's like asking why you should have to pay to get food at mcdonalds, or why you have eat everyday instead of the food just magically appearing in your stomach.
Let me see, I promise I will be gentle. It doesn't even have to be a chapter, just a couple paragraphs will do.

>>21588693
Well, it may be amusing, I suppose. It's funny when you simpletons try to tear down something you cannot understand, like swinging at an image projected, as in camera obscura.

>>21588708
>Come now to pay thy worldly, weighty sum
>To this land's furious conundrum
The rhythm of this rhyme is intentionally comedic, right?

>>21588721
Again, you have no idea. Oh, my. This was a delight.

>>21588708
>poem
okay, but like, post your actual work

>>21588723
bro you act too haughty for someone who got their title from a genshin impact ost

>>21588724
I have many publications, most of which appear in periodicals a ruffian such as yourself would never peruse. Oh, I am laughing at your prose worship, like a man who thinks dirt is beautiful.
>>21588732
It's a line from Paradise Lost, you projecting peon.

>>21588735
You obviously got it from genshin impact, why even hide it?

>>21588741
It's an allusion to Satan's first speech. You can even open up a book to find it out.

>>21588748
anyway, i was always one for epic poems. I do like the feel although poetry has been a dead art form for centuries now

>>21588735
Oh, I get it now. You're doing an Ignatius bit.
Nice.

>>21588757
Up to debate. Lots of critics said the epic died in modernity, but there were many attempts at epic poetry in that period (Omeros, The Cantos, Paterson), and I'm sure there's someone somewhere working on a good long-form poem. I heard there's a lot going on in Eastern Europe in poetic circles, for instance.
>>21588773
Not really. I don't read "humour" books. I don't need jokes to sustain my attention, since I'm not an ADHD loser.

>>21588781
You should. He's literally (you)!

>>21588787
Not a canonical text. I shan't.

>>21588792
Please do; then post a review of the book here.
I would love to read a review of the book written by the big man himself.

>>21588693
bruh you and every other anon demand “post work” the moment anyone with any thought of serious critique rolls in. Then you do it again, and again, in each thread. Have you considered, logically, asking a person to “post work” in each thread, is redundant? Hypothetically, one could post the same work over and over, which would dilute the supposed altruism of these threads. Instead what happens, is after posting enough work, one just stops posting work. And resumes shitting on what deserves to be shitted on

>>21588524
The author pastebin in the OP belies your stupid opinion.

>>21588874
if it was redundant then the thread would be filled with more work and less seething/shitposts
there are 83 IPs and something like 4 works posted, something isn't adding up.
>Hypothetically, one could post the same work over and over
sadly people don't even do that! I would have more respect for them then the people who wake up and post shit like this >>21587146

>>21588103
1. implicitly admitting he smells like dirty socks
2,3. because i want to see what you inadvertently entertaining freaks say next

>>21588924
Ah yes but that’s why I said “hypothetically”. You know for a writer, it’s unfortunately you appear to have poor reading comprehension, and do not know the definition of the word. Hypothetically, if every time you demanded “post work”, and they posted work, in each thread, it would be redundant. But that’s not what’s happening, as you’ve said. That’s why I used the word “hypothetical”.

>>21588874
>serious critique
Anon, it's either a comedy routine where he LARPs as Ignatius or a guy who's so out of touch, up his own ass and retarded that he thinks imitating a caricature of a 17th century nobleman makes him smart and sophisticated.
>most of which appear in periodicals a ruffian such as yourself would never peruse
If this doesn't make you bust a gut with laughter... I don't know what to say.

>>21588934
I'm actually very smart, thank you

>>21588948
I never said you weren’t smart. I said you have poor reading comprehension. Which you just exhibited.

>>21588955
but I am smart, okay?

>>21588741
>>21588748
>anon posts Milton
>pseud insists it's from a video game
such epic pwnage of morons
thx 4 the new meme

there is nothing wrong with getting inspiration from a genshin impact ost
a lot of authors get their inspirations from infantile pieces of work

>>21588948
>>21588959
>please tell me i'm smart, mommy, or my whole world will crumble
lel

>>21588962
Everyone but the unintentionally comedic gamer moron, please enjoy this new meme.

>>21589018
>If thou beest he—but O how fallen! how changed
>From him who, in the happy realms of light
>Clothed with transcendent brightness, didst outshine
>Myriads, though bright!
Reminder to keep this maxim in mind: Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.

>>21589018
noooooooooo not the milton swap!!!
I can't believe you pawned me so hard bro, guess YOU are the better writer

https://pastebin.com/jm8dTYwu

>>21589075
Not sure if it's pastebin, but it looks like you're using hyphens for dashes, which can be confusing for the reader.

>>21587781
Shite

>>21589070
YOOOOO
You associated the sentence "Myriads of Light" with Genshit and not Milton!1!!
You got PWNED - EPIC STYLE
Truly; it is you who is the butt of the joke to discerning eyes

>>21584348
In what way is your writing better than Mike's?

>>21589456
Not that anon, and I haven't read Mike Ma's works , I'm just posting for the sake of sparking conversation in an apparently dead thread. The categories to judge a book for market success by are roughly as follows

How quickly and effectively does it promise the reader a payoff later if they keep reading?
Does it achieve minimum grammar competency?
Does the reader actually like the perspective character?
Does the world make sense? (mostly for fantasy and sci-fi)
If it makes sense, has enough information been given to the reader that they can anticipate how things will interact?
What kind of emotional impact does the events of the plot have on the reader?
Are the characters pursuing reasonable goals in reasonable ways?

Think I'm missing an aspect?

>farfetched
>far fetched
>far-fetched
Your tale of teenage girls having sex with their dogs is ___________________.

Which one?

>>21590161
>Your tale of teenage girls having sex with their dogs is filched.

>>21590161
>Your tale of teenage girls having sex with their dogs is BASED

>>21590135
That's a very good list. I would only add a few more questions.
Does the story maintain tension (i.e. the feeling that something will or won't happen)?
Do your scenes have a goal, conflict, *and* outcome (usually disastrous for the main character)? If there's no conflict or disaster, it's just a chronicle, and your reader will most likely get bored.
Do your characters do what your reader would like to do, but can't? (i.e. wish fulfillment)
Is your writing sincere? Does the story reflects your truth and your inner feelings? A mask is difficult to hold in place on paper.

>>21590193
you forgot the most important.
>Are you, the author, a cute girl with a killer smile and great breasts? And if so, have you posed in front of a camera begging others to purchase your book yet?

did any of u dudes listen to this? it's free on audible plus right now. idk if it's good cuz not a wannabe writer but i thought u dudes might be into it.

>>21590135
>judge a book for market success
using marketing success as a barometer J.K. Rowling is one of the greatest authors of all time.
I liked the HP books as a kid - and I'm not saying she's a bad writer or anything - but I rarely if ever think about them at all. They left little impact on me as a person and on my philosophy/world-view.
I guess it's one of the only purely objective ways to measure, though - so I see where you're coming from.

Just impulse bought a blank notebook with the word WRITE on the cover at a second hand entertainment store. Thinking about what to write in it. I haven't written since high school.

>>21590220
next cop this drip to stay motivated

Does anyone know a decent site for an editor? I don't plan to market my novel but I'd like it to be as good as possible. I don't have a huge social circle and I also don't like sharing my writing with people I know IRL.

>>21590267
Spend a few years writing fan fiction, accumulate a friend circle, acquire test and beta readers, then introduce them to your original writing. Simple as.
Or, I dunno, find freelancers on Fiver

I'm kind of struggling with a bit right now because I have to introduce a whole ton of characters and a new setting. I'm pretty decent at natural exposition but I just had to go and give one of my characters a ludicrously large family. I did this to myself.

>>21590572
They can have the large family, just introduce the members when they become important to the story. If it never happens that's okay. I thought of a whole backstory for my character's older brother but he never showed up, but it helped to color in this character when I was writing her.

>>21590583
Yeah... my one help right now is that the character being introduced to the family is also overwhelmed lol.

>>21585552
Using semicolons to control the flow of a paragraph (i.e., using them in place of a period to imply two sentences are a single thought) is a stylistic choice. I personally am fine with it, but I at least understand how someone could think it overcomplicates prose.

The other main use of semicolons is to structures complex sentences which have lots of commas, and in that context they are necessary. If an author really hates semicolons I guess they could work around it, but there are times paragraphs will turn to mush without them.

>>21590213
I think you, and most other people in this thread, treat market fiction as some other skillset, instead of the fundamental skillset. Do you really think you don't need to know how to achieve those things just because you want to be the next great whatever? In the case of HP though, her success had more to do with the movies than the books.

And on other opinions sure to start arguments, sci-fi is a setting, not a genre.

Can I just write for fun? And shit out things on Amazon with slight hopes that someone other than my mom reads it?

>>21591456
You'd be better off not publishing if you're going to throw your finished works into that ocean of shit. Write for yourself, consider other avenues of publishing. Nobody will notice you on Amazon unless you've got some sort of social media following and a strong online presence. Like any product, it needs marketing.

>>21591493
How do I make an authors page?

Why even bother having an editor, doesn't that beat the point of writing for yourself? Just don't write retarded grammar, or do, if that's your thing.

>>21591688
Some people actually believe this hobby is a means towards a livable wage.

I love writing, so much so that being able to convey my ideas in a sufficiently articulate way on this incel website is enough to make me feel great, specially as an ESL.
Still, this is not enough. But as someone who doesn't plan to write a story, what can I do?

>>21591688
having another set of eyes look at the thing you've read over and over helps to catch things you end up unconsciously glossing over as the author. that's also why it's recommended to wait a little bit between drafting and editing

>>21592295
Who cares exactly? If you're not going to release it, then what's the fucking point?
>>21591735
What chumps.

>>21592396
why wouldn't you release it? don't you want to share what you've spent so much time and effort creating? if you're proud of it, if you enjoyed writing it, if you like it, why wouldn't you not want others to see it? of course you share it. don't be a miser

>>21591957
You could keep a journal?
Otherwise, perhaps you could start some sort of blog or review website, even if you never publish it to search engines.
You could always try your hand at writing a story? You might find you enjoy it. Poetry is more abstract if you want to shy away from storytelling. Either way, congratulations on learning English. I'm positively useless when it comes to other languages.

>>21592548
>You could keep a journal?
Thanks, will do that.

>>21592489
>Miser
That word means to hoard wealth. Having written a shit manuscript isn't worth anything.

>>21592743
>Having written a shit manuscript isn't worth anything
then blow your fucking brains out if all you feel is hate for what you've created. no skin off my nose

My beta readers say my book is good. What if they're just being nice?

>>21592770
Ask here, no one has reason to be nice to you unless it's good.

>>21592796
People don't read on here.

>>21592819
I can tell your book is shit without even reading it. Go fix your plotholes - especially that really glaring one - and then do another editing pass. Remember anon, its is possessive, it's is the contraction.

If my monster is made up of magic, and the entire magic system is about needing to absorb mana to cast spells, would it be stupid for the MC to have sex with the monster to absorb its mana and defeat it? My MC is a girl and the monster is a boy. A symbol of how women will literally be the death of men, even if said man is the most powerful being in the world.

>>21593052
You don't need to justify your monsterfucker fetish

>>21592766
You misuse words, so you are probably writing much worse shit than me.

>>21593052
I'd never have my MC do something like that, it'd turn a lot of readers off. Though, thematically, it works. Provided your story isn't already full of sexual encounters, else it'd prove tiresome (unless that's the point?). My advice would be to either get another character to do it, someone who's already morally reprehensible or is a bit crafty and crosses the line from time to time. Alternatively, have the MC lose the initial battle and be raped, as such she is blameless. It is the monster's lust which ruins him and your protagonist's worst moment which turns out to save her. All in all, it depends on how you handle it. Thin ice though anon.

>>21593123
Alas, who's to say? We might read anon's work someday, but never yours. Pity.

>>21593160
Why is it a pity? You certainly don't want to read it.
Being "read" means nothing, anyway, especially in the grand scheme of things; most "writers" have been forgotten and the pulp used to produce their low quality books now rot in the obscurity of a charity bookstore.
There's a canon of maybe a few hundred books that are considered good; everything else is garbage and narcissism augmented by the printing press (starting with Gutenberg's abomination).

>>21593145

The idea is she's in love with the monster and it in live with her. Everything is consensual. The monsters downfall is falling in love with the MC. Monster saves MC from death, and abandons his plans for mass destruction just to save MC.

>>21593195
Well, that's not much more interesting than what I was imaging without context, but you can make it work anon. With them being together like they are, her having sex with him to (defeat him) would just be backstabbing and underhanded and not quite as demeaning as I'd previous thought.

>>21593229
I'm aiming for a tragedy.
I'll post the excerpt when it's done. Maybe that'll be better. But for now the idea is she finds the monster being made up of pure magic, thus doesn't belong in the world. And they together make the choice to return him back to where he belonged. Only after fucking him of course.

>>21593123
>You misuse words
t. ESL that doesn't understand the concept of miserliness

>>21593052
I'd say tiptoe around and very poetic when describing the sexual encounter

>>21593176
you have the soul of a niggard

>>21593195
The monster should be her dad

>>21593297
>a person who hoards wealth and spends as little money as possible
There isn't any way to construe miserliness to be about hoarding shitty manuscripts no one wants to read.
>>21593324
I'm not the loser gambling his life away by posting unedited filth on KDP, nor sending out queries I'll never hear back from. Learn your place in the universe.

Behold, a crab! Get out of my sunlight you double nigger.

>>21593411
There's no sunlight shining for you. No crabs either. Only the slow entropic death of the universe as everything is forgotten, whilst Amazon Web Services monopolises the internet and every last book becomes the property of one (not faceless, but Janus-headed) corporation. But it's cute you refer to me as Alexander indirectly.

>>21593424
Good riddance. Amazon's chains will rest much more lightly than the old guard publishing houses.

>>21593336
Would incest even be acceptable to today's crowd?

>>21593374
>there isn't any way to construe miserliness to be about hoarding shitty manuscripts no one wants to read
For the most part I agree with you. About miserliness, I should clarify. I think you're wrong about poor, or simply unpublished manuscripts being worthless. There's value in art as well as in mere atempts at it. You argue that there's nothing to be gained by sharing such a work, yet it might be others who see the value in it, perhaps even if such value is overlooked by the author. And you can't discount the fact that critique is essential to the growth of an author, sharing (even terrible) manuscripts can only serve as a tool for the writer to adapt and learn. But back to miserliness. Cut the anon some slack. He didn't so much misuse the word, but construe it. By equating money with non-materialistic wealth (i.e., wealth which isn't only monetary) and acknowledging your "shit" manuscripts are seen as valuable by the other anon and I, by hording it (i.e., not sharing) you're being a miser. If you want to be a stickler about it then count yourself correct, but in future try to show some sportsmanship and, if possible, a touch of creativity.

>>21593176
>being "read" means nothing, anyway, especially in the grand scheme of things
Because it's all about the big picture, right?
You can fuck right off with that attitude. There's nothing wrong with celebrating the small victories nor with being content writing for a small audience. Stop comparing yourself to others so damn much. Who cares what's considered "good"? First and foremost, if you like it, if your friends, family and respected acquaintances do, then fuck the rest. If someone gets kicks from a few dozen people reading their work online, let them.

>>21593374
>learn your place in the universe
Nobody here has delusions of grandeur.

My english professor said that my sentences are 'fat, ugly, and tortured'.

What the fuck bro.

>>21593675
kek'd

>>21593675
shrek'd

>>21593675
are you willing to post some examples

>>21593626
>Who cares what's considered "good"?
People who read. Or people who want to keep good things preserved.
>Nobody here has delusions of grandeur.
Half of you think you'll make it as a web novelist on Royal Road, or through self-publishing on Amazon. It's really sad seeing the madness of neoliberalism destroy your brains.
>>21593583
Join a writing group if you want to improve. The Warosu archive saves everything here to the point you cannot use it again. All you're doing is performing an exercise with no end product, which is more akin to going to (useless) Creative Writing classes.

>>21593834
>There's a canon of maybe a few hundred books that are considered good
I'm arguing against the notion that if your book isn't considered as good as those top hundred it's not worth writing or sharing and am trying to say that there's value in your story even if it's not nested amongst the greats. I'm not stating it's acceptable to write poorly. You hold yourself and everyone here to an impossible standard.

>>21593992
>>21593992