/lit/ - Literature

>>21485603
Fucking your bed is superior to jerking off with your hand

>>21485611
Pillow humper?

>>21485611
Indeed.

>>21485603
Trying to figure out how to turn off my overactive brain without the use of drugs or hitting myself in the head.

>>21485627
Look into meditation

>>21485627
Take morning sun
Do some walking or jogging

Basically anything that "relax" your amygdala

>>21485641
I exercise a lot and have started meditating.

>>21485630
Just recently started.

I want to start fucking prostitutes but I feel guilt just thinking about it

On the advice of my cousin and grandmother I have chosen to read the New Testament before finishing the Old Testament. I made it as far as Joshua before jumping into the book of Matthew. Hopefully this means I can select a church to attend sooner.

Most Christians today aren't very good Christians. I've seen way to many cases of people being pushed into atheism/irreligion due to the extremely petty and worldly shit a lot of Christians do, in some cases personally. I also think this is a general rule for most religious people since I have observed similar behavior in Muslims, Jews and Buddhists. What's the point in believing in a religion but not taking it seriously?

>>21485603
Ordered rope. Soon there will be cope.

>>21485679
Many are called, few are chosen.

>>21485697
I understand that, but what happens to the people that were pushed away from the faith by these actions? All I can do is pray for the ones that I used to know or onky know distsntly, but I do intend to seriously to reintroduce the faith at some point to a friend that suffered from this. I just can't deal with people with otherwise good souls being at best sent to Purgatory and possibly condemned due to this.

Need a gf

>>21485659
I feel less guilt using prostitutes than exploiting women's bodies for free on dating apps etc. With prostitutes there is no deception at all about what you both want.

>>21485720
Do not conflate the church, the clergy, or the rest of one's congregation with one's relationship with God. So long as you believe, and act on that faith, no other man on Earth can keep you from the grace of the Lord.

>>21485748
True. Thanks for clearing that up mate. God bless. Also, random question. How specific should prayers be, specificslly prayers for a wife. Asking a friend of course.

>>21485772
*for a friend of course

I really think that God wants for me to commit suicide and be over with this life.

>>21485772
When I was travelling to visit family for New Year's Eve and/or belated Christmas I was separated from my luggage which held not only my clothes, but all the gifts bought for my family. In order to make it to my destination on time I had to leave without my bags.

On a train headed for a bus station I prayed, not for my material things back but a blessing on my family that I was about to see and the courage and wisdom to handle the consequences of choosing to make it to my hometown on time instead of staying behind to get my bags. The next day I went to the airport at my destination and arranged to get my bags sent to me and by the time everyone was sitting down to open gifts my luggage had come back.

There were people at Pearson International that had been in the baggage claim for days and hadn't seen their things but I was able to get mine put right into my hands. I felt blessed to say the least. I think the best way to go about prayer is not to see it like a letter to Santa Clause but more like the famous JFK quote:
>Ask not for a lighter burden, but broader shoulders with which to carry it

A wife is not a trophy to be won through prayer. Let the example of Christ help you make the hard choices you need to improve yourself and be a whole man first. As an independent equal that can be relied upon you will be in a far better position to ask someone to marry you.

Cont.

>>21485842
1 Corinthians 13:4-13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

10 years ago
>The post that killed New Atheism

>>21485611
Based

>>21485611
What if the bed gets pregnant

My mental health has never been good but it's getting even worst now that I graduated college and looking for a job.

I wish I could be in Twin Peaks forever.

I've always wondered what St. Petersburg is like. Maybe it's the Dostofag in me but It's always seemed like a really cool city. Anyone ever been or lived there? What's it like? Is it comfy? Depressing?

>>21485665
the only way to be free of Judaism is to stick to greek and sanskrit

>>21486001
Then marry it and raise your kid obviously

Is the process of writing supposed to remain enjoyable even when you're quite bad at it? I've been trying to get back into the craft for the first time in a long while, and man do I suck. None of what I compose feels natural anymore, and i'd say that putting words together has become genuinely painful. It's painful to see how bad I am at expressing myself, which pushes me further into avoiding writing out of shame and out of fear. I am embarrassed by the bankruptcy of my prose, and with that I am seriously doubting that my own spirit is just as bankrupt, if not more so. Is this what terrible writers should go through? Have you experienced this before, anon?

I will never be one of the cool kids

Everyone that’s young has it so easy. When you see/feel your body falling apart, it’s going to get ugly. You don’t really know what awaits you.

>>21485842
I once met a young man in a foreign country. We had short conversation and he was a believer in God but he also believed in local tradition which were spells/shamans/witches. He said that one time he got arrested (as a suspect) even though he did not actually do any crimes. He prayed hard that night to God and also he called his mother who then went to local shaman to have a new set of clothes blessed (by shaman), she then took the clothes to her son locked up in the police station. Later that day he was released.
He was so happy that Christian God heard his prayers and arranged for his release.
He said that if he didn't pray (God didn't help him) they probably would have kept him in there locked up for a long time.
Ilmy reactio was... I sort of just nodded my head listening to his story, it very much like pic related

Sometimes I worry about the mental state of anons on this board when I see the kind of books they recommend.

Let he who is without cringe cast the first basedjack.

>>21485802
No, he doesn't. You are alive specifically in this time and place by his design - there is something which you are to understand or to accomplish here which only you are called to. Throw this life away and you will never find it.

>>21486334
any example?

>>21485603
How do I get my gf to stop being so hateful towards Asian women? She seems to hate them so much, I think it stems from her dad remarrying an Asian woman when he left the family.

It's so awkward when I hear her get angry in an online game and start shit talking someone palying with her. Calling any girl she guesses to be asian to be a tranny and keeps shutting down whatever they say by saying their not even human, putting on a mock Asian voice and outrageous stuff like that. Even when we are out she makes those same tranny comment remarks when we see Asian women. Fucked up thing to is that I'm fucking Asian lol and I told her she better not say shit like this about the women in my family but she laughs it off saying I'm different and they're different because she loves me so it doesn't count. Wtf is that lol?

I mean she stopped the Asian women hate for a while but she's been starting up with this shit again with the whole new covid xbb nonsense. It was funny at first but it honestly seems like a genuine hatred than just doing it as a meme. They literally make her seethe that it's like she becomes a different person once an Asian woman triggers her

>>21486392
>which only you are called to.
I have absolutely no idea what that could be hence the thoughts about suicide.

After having studiously researched military history for 7 years, I think I've come to the conclusion that I don't particularly care for it. However it's difficult to stop devoting time to due to years of habit.

>>21485603
Oh nothing

>>21486442
Depressing literature about social outcasts seems to be really popular, but the one example that really caught my eye is that for a city winter scene someone got recommended Journey to the end of the night, which I have to admit I haven't read beyond wikipedia article, but it is outright described as pessimistic, with not much to do with winter considering a part of it occurs in Africa.
I just wonder what happened to comfy books?

>>21486468
I wouldn't worry too much if you change your plan even if it was lots of time. That time is already implanted in you even unconsciously, so it's not really lost. Nothing is really ever lost.

>get very motivated to write, write a lot more
>end up with shit I think is worth publishing
>see that environment is shit and full of whorish attention seekers and professional panderers and underhanded little games
>public's attitude is of extreme entitlement, pure niggerdom
>feel disgusted, pull back out
>lose my momentum/motivation
how do I break this cycle? I enjoy the process but the "after" bit fucking kills me

>>21486454
You'll never know if you kill yourself. Seems pretty obvious.

The amount of people who are just here by happenstance in college is so staggering I can say I've never met people more indecisive in my life. Half the time I ask someone in college what job he wants to do, I'm told the person doesn't know yet and almost half the other time they want to do some job they think is cool (eg. vet, project manager or researcher) but when you ask them a few questions (e.g asking the future vet if he knows vet suicide rates are through the roof because the practice is psychologically taxing) you realize they don't know shit about the job. I'm a college graduate myself and even people on the brink of graduation don't know??? What the fuck

>>21486616
It doesn't surprise me, people in the past had little choice for career, and they usually just followed in their parent's footsteps. But these days there is abundance of choice, which can leave one quite confused and most often going with gut feeling rather than actual research.

>>21485603
been so focused on a side project, took focus away from work and enjoying other things in life. feels good to take action on my future but dont want to forget to enjoy today, i have a feeling i'll look back on these days and wish i can do them again. but might also wish i worked harder. weird balance game im trying to play and im trying to find a way to have both

>>21486616
I never met anyone more indecisive than myself in college. I couldn't figure out what major I wanted and changed it like 5 times, including a general liberal arts degree, before dropping out and becoming a NEET out of indecision.

>>21485802
I have felt like this for fifteen years. Never seen anyone else word it so similarly to my own thoughts.

>>21486596
Living aimlessly is suffering

>>21486951
So stop being aimless. The heavens above aren't going to open one day to reveal the grand purpose of your life on a silver platter, finding it is something you have to work towards. Aside from that I'm willing to bet there are a great deal of smaller goals in your life that have meaning and importance to you - don't just lie down and mope about your life being aimless if you're just choosing to see it that way.

Turns out rhe guy I thought was an ass hole who didnt like me is actually super cool. Funny how that works

>>21486616
They're teenagers who are in higher education because they were told its the only option available. Cut them some fucking slack. How is a 19 yeat old supposed to know everything about life?

>>21486450
>daddy issues
>racial insecurity
>plays computer games
>gets with an asian guy
Kek she is full of red flags. Anyway, asian women > white women.

Any femanon wanna have so strings attatched rough sex with me

I had this weird dream where I pulled a hair out of my mouth and then another after it, eventually it became a thin string of hairs and at some point it changed into this weird brittle mix of bone and clay material and it became much harder to pull. At some point I broke it but it felt like some of it still resided in my stomach. I have no idea what this dream means.

>>21486998
You probably had a hair in your mouth while you were sleeping. Then you swallowed it.

>>21486998
https://www.dreamdictionary.org/meaning/dreaming-of-hair/

>>21486973
>just get that dead end job!!

>>21487009
>just get that dead end job
>just get that dead end gf
>just have dead end sex
>just have that dead end marriage
>just have those dead end children
>just take that dead end retirement
>just go on that dead end cross country RV trip
>just buy that dead end retirment home in Florida
>just live your dead end life

>>21486998
I'm extremely well versed in Freudian psychoanalysis. It means that you really want to fuck your mom but repress it by really wanting to get fucked in the ass but repress that too.

Volcanic demon hungry for foreskins...

>>21487048
Why cant I just make shit up and call it an academic paper?

>>21487042
none of this shit will happen you fucking retard

>>21487059
Not with that attitude

>>21487062
>just keep running the rat race, good goy
you're probably a NEET yourself

>>21486973
>just be a completely different person

Do you believe in fate? There is this girl I know and our lives keep intersecting in incredibly improbable ways. Most lately I'm pretty sure she moved into the house directly opposite mine. What the hell?

Ive been through 3 major periods of isolation in my life so far. Each time I undergo a major personality shift. Feels fucking weird man. Wonder who I'll be the next time

>>21485603
I accidentally deleted one of my game files. hundreds of hours of gameplay and random draws gone.

>>21487155
Paranoid schizophrenia has done that to me. I started eschewing my personality around books and got more into nutrition and sports, but all my nerdy loser friends got made and said "you changed man"

>>21486567
same situation. help?

Nothing quite like a cigarette and coffee after a hard trail run. It's the simple sensory pleasures alongside faith, love, and calling. 2023 POP PUSSY NOT PILLS BRETHREN. Also I have insomnia now and cars that pass by sound like they're playing some vague pop music with indecipherable lyrics. I also am seeing these streaks of color in the air and am recognizing inhuman objects with similar shapes to humans as humans.

>>21487075
>>21487009
You're being obtuse fags and you know it.
You're deliberately setting up any potential accomplishments as not *really* being meaningful so you can keep wallowing in misery over how meaningless your life is, like you can't feel fulfilled by succeeding in a career field, reaching a certain level of skill in your hobbies or crafts, raising children, or whatever it is you give a fuck about in
your life unless some hooded esoteric master allows you a glimpse of an emerald tablet inscribed with a promise from God saying that it's okay to find meaning in those things.
Don't like that? Fine. Pick another way of finding meaning, literally any one at all, instead of giving up via suicide like a child quitting a game because it's too hard after he's played for five minutes.

>meet someone who hates blacks
>they're just a normal person
>meet an anti-Semite
>A little unhinged but still within the range of normalcy
>meet someone who hates China
>they're an obsessive and deranged lunatic constantly spouting schizo babble

>Man cannot live without a permanent trust in something indestructible in himself, though both the indestructible element and the trust may remain permanently hidden from him. One of the ways in which this hiddenness can express itself is through faith in a personal god.

>>21487184
>you just have to GET IT to be a normal, socially adjusted and functional person
>you DONT GET IT?
>thats your problem, just dont kill yourself

Would anyone here know about a sutra addressing jealousy specifically?

>>21487207
Sure dude, go ahead and be fucking miserable and refuse to allow yourself to find meaning in anything because it might make you a bit of a normalfag. Let me know how it works out for you. Be sure to read some articles about how suicide is based so you'll feel like you're making a good choice instead of throwing your life away over some dumb first-world-problem shit.

>>21487240
>refuse to allow yourself to find meaning in anything
I am willing to bet that you also believe that people who give themselves schizophrenia to become religious are deluded retards

I wish I could say that I willpowered my way out of video games, but it is more like none of them can hold my interest anymore. It feels like the end of a bad trip, spat out into the daylight streets of sobriety, trying to claw my way back to that place of fantasy and enchantment but only to find all the doors are gone.

Not that this is really a bad thing. I am annoyed that it seems my body that finally rejected it, not my mind.

Here is a poem I just wrote:

Heat.

The heat is steaming,
The hot is heating,
The hotting is smoking,
My great-Uncle’s croaking,
I’m all alone.
My leg hair is flattened and smacked,
The sweat rises from my back,
The droplets grow like ripening fruit,
Just as I’m about to shoot,
That load is also hot.
White ink on tan vellum,
My body sighs, “We can quell him,”
But they are wrong,
Because in my passionate yet solitary throng,
I wanted more.

Because though I act like I am too
Intelligent, selfish, great for you,
All I really want is to feel, smother,
The touch of a woman, man, friend;another.

Aphorisms are the most valuable form of writing. No one needs your autistic ramblings just give it to me concretely and succinctly like a schizophrenic. No, I don't think I will read Kant. Problem?

>>21486616
They got groomed by a predatory for-profit debt system. Have some sympathy

>>21487173
u have real life hunter s. thompson and rust from true detective vibes and honestly im here for it

>>21485603
I wanted to make tea but my tea can shattered. now I'm sad. No tea for me. ;(

>>21487348
Please don't reply to me.

>>21487240
meaning isnt some dumb first-world-problem shit.

>>21487371
Crying about how no one is giving it to you on a silver platter is, and so is wanting to kill yourself over that.

>>21487371
Meaning is looking into you every waking moment. There is something rather than nothing and the "why" as to consciousness has not been discovered yet. Also, if you read about the history of the cosmos before the Big Bang, it doesn't make sense to me, obviously, because I'm not a quantum physicist, but even all of the quantum physicists from the Copenhagen era were drawn to the Upanisads and understood that there is something greater than physical processes. Also, understanding consciousness would require another Einstein, which I don't see happening with the American education system, maybe some Nord. Faith is necessary- blind faith- and primary to love which is primary to wisdom and strength. When one of life's bullets really hits you anon, you'll understand and make a change. Do not give in to despair. N. was right about power, but he forgot about love.

>>21487390
To add to this, I highly recommend watching this intro lecture to superposition. The results from the experiment discussed are astounding:
https://youtu.be/lZ3bPUKo5zc?t=623
Also, a lovely lecturer

>>21487390
>>21487417
>>21487380
I'd rather die than stack crates filled with dragon dildos in an amazon warehouse for a living so I can manage to pay rent and sustain my own slavery until I die, or if I'm particularly efficient and I manage to set money aside, get with a roastie who's fucked 500 people before me when I cave in to loneliness so I can pay the government to raise the innocent human soul she's shit from her loose crater into yet another trooned out cocksucker. How do you find meaning in this? Nobody is happy. None of the people around me are happy. They say they're happy but they're obviously broken, completely broken like cattle.

>Broken heart syndrome is a condition with symptoms that may feel like a heart attack, like chest pain, and shortness of breath, but it’s caused by going through an emotionally stressful event, not by clogged arteries.
>mfw
fuck youuuuu, depression! i spit on you
wuaaaac puhhhhhhh
spit on him bruddas

Why are people becoming more and more shut off from reality? VR and AR are just the start of Zucc's metaverse, which will destroy any need for actual interaction with a world that will become so polluted and desertified that there'll be nothing left bothering with on the planet.

>>21487462
>Broken heart syndrome is more common in women than in men.
oh my fucking god nevermind im going to kill myself actually not in minecraft lol

Spent more than a week's rent on alcohol within the first week of 2023. I hadn't been drinking for ten days before New Years.

>>21485603
>White What's On Your Mind
Killing, that's always on my mind.

>>21487462
yes brudda
wuuaaach pfff
i spit on depression for u my brudda

>>21487494
hear, hear.
drinking myself today too.
why do you drink?

>>21487542
Hope you find something cheap but nice. The money it burns in my pocket is intense, but I found 33% off Tanqueray Flor de Sevilla to be lovely.
>why
Boredom and the sense that alcohol frees me from the mundanity, as well as giving me pleasure when I'm usually anhedonic. I'm mentally ill so alcohol helps me cope with that, as well as all the fact I've burned all my (mostly romantic) relationships since 2017 or 2018.

I started reading Fahrenheit 451, about halfway through, and it has shook me to the core.

>>21487692
Follow his advice and read one essay, one poem, one short story, and one chapter of something new per day. Bradbury wrote that book mainly because he was devastated by book burning in the modern period, as well as the burning of Alexandria in ancient times.

>>21487557
I dont drink anything fancy like you.
Cheers

>>21487697
Good advice. I knew a little about the book before i read it, it being about book burner. I had in my mind the cliche story, but when its explained that the book burning is theatre and that people simply chose noto ead due to distraction really hit home. The idea that dystopias are voluntary.

>Sentimentality is related to true, sound feeling as the sparrow to the swallow, who lets the latter build its nest and get everything ready, in order thereafter to lay its young in it. Incidentally, I do not know whether this is in fact the case with the sparrow and the swallow; but I do know that there are two species of birds who comport themselves in this manner.).

Former Mormon here.
It's kind of amazing to see what a blow COVID was to the LDS church. Attendance figures are down by double-digit percentages across the board, around a third of eligible young men are serving missions, and a third of those are coming home early. Couple that with the ease with which anyone can access information that the church would rather bury, like the 'secret' handbooks for bishops, recordings of 'sacred' ceremonies, finance figures for Ensign Peak Holdings, et cetera, and I'd wager that the church will fall into irrelevance in a few short decades, if not sooner.
I have complicated feelings about the impending Mormon Apocalypse. Personally, I feel disgusted with the church and somewhat dirtied by my having been brought up in it. I had no concept of the metaphysics or philosophy underlying Christianity until I moved out, because I was brought up to believe that the early Church was corrupted by "Greek pagan thought" during the great apostasy, blindly accepted crypto-Gnostic and blatantly Masonic rituals and worldviews despite knowing exactly where they were cribbed from because I thought such things were examples of the beginning of the "restoration," and came up with elaborate copes for why evidence of a Jewish-descended civilization across the Americas did not exist. As a Trinitarian Christian now, I feel like I received a safari tour through every heresy ever devised.
I'm also angered by the thought that my family bought into this ridiculous system, both figuratively and literally, for generations, and so did the families of hundreds of wonderful people I met while I was a believing member. On a similar scale as Scientology, the LDS church uses its tithing funds to purchase large investment properties and generate wealth, which it dispenses to its top-level executives in the form of compensation, condominiums, paid trips, and so on, while remaining completely opaque about where its money is going and refusing to provide aid to members in need unless they meet certain conditions and exhaust all other options. Furthermore, for decades members were discouraged from holding savings that they could give as tithes instead - my own parents have as much saved from 30 years of professional white-collar work as I do from 4 years in the military.
At the same time, I know that the collapse of the system will shunt the remaining untouched Mormon youth into the maw of the secular-liberal amoral world order. I left because I wanted to know the truth about God more than I wanted to remain in the comfortable Mormon community, but most who leave do so out of anger at the lies they've been fed and so resolve to never enter another organized religion again. It's hard to blame them, and I expect that as membership rates and participation rates erode almost all who remain will do so as well. In the end only a few will be left - the general authorities, the hedge fund mangers, and a few true believers, alone among the ruins of their cult.

I hate my sister. Whenever she talks to me is to make me perform some random useless task that she needs done and she can't do by herself because who fucking knows. I get away from her from time to time (move from city to city) and she follows me around to what I can only think that it's fucking hilarious that she does that.

How does one learn to live with loneliness?

>>21488962
By wasting energy coming up with increasingly elaborate copes.

I'm scared of taking a dump because of the operation today. But I'm feeling pain in the rectum and stomach now as well. I'm afraid it will get much worse or that it won't work at all. I really want to end this. Since I'm over thirty I have all kinds of body problems and aches it's insane.

>>21485603
i have more stomach ulcers than friends

>>21488962
You don’t.

>>21485603
I've been suicidal for a long time. Every time I get serious about it, something happens, something changes. I get manipulated into continuing to live. It's really quite strange. I was lamenting how much I hate my new job, how fucked I am with debt, how disillusioned I was with everything... and suddenly a job I applied to 2 months ago calls and wants to interview me.

It's like a weird monkey paw super power. I don't know if any of you believe in fate, but I'm betting once I've met my fate and done whatever I need to do in this life, that super power will stop working.

GSTbros!!!

My gf published an album about me, but I'm really only with her for the convenience of sex and splitting the bills.

>>21488962
Loneliness is a privilege

I have just woken up and I am already immensely tired. It is my day off, and while ordinarily I awaken hoping for my off day already, here I am. As usual, I have nothing planned, I never do. Then why am I always looking forward to the weekend? Why has sleeping become more exciting than living?

What am I supposed to be living for, anyway? I have all my needs met, food, shelter, and well, I suppose that's it. I suppose that's all any animal needs to survive in a cage. Is this it? Is this my life, decade in, decade out? What I studied for, what I took out loans to accomplish?

At least animals in the wild are forced into cages. I did this. This is my life's work. I did all I was told to do. What was I thinking? I want to go back to bed so bad, to see the wild again, to run free throughout imagination. I suppose that's all I can look forward to now, that someday I will sleep, and I won't wake up. Maybe I can still make that happen. Or maybe's that's too much work.

It's now been hours I've laid here experiencing decay in real time, and I cannot sleep again.

>>21485603
im an autogynephilic degenerate and this realization has brought about a significant degree of stress/shame

>>21485650
It can take a while for meditation to really become valuable, it's extremely hard for a lot of people at the beginning.

>>21485603
How is my dad so boring yet so entertaining at the same time?

Growing up, even now, he doesn't seem to have any hobbies or interests, at least nothing he passed onto us. Just worked and went home. Never had friends or bros he went out with or played golf with or whatever. Basically had no real seperate social life. Never even used to take my mother out, we never did family trips or anything like that or went away when school was out or did family things on the weekend besides fast food after church on a Sunday if he wasn't working. This stopped once we were all in highschool btw. Only trip was maybe 2 times where we went back to the old country where he didn't even come the first time. He just attends the occasional family/family-friend event throughout the year and even then he would avoid them.

But when he is there he is the life of the party and has conversations going about who knows what and everyone gathers around him and he is loud and making everyone laugh and entertained.

I don't get it. Nowadays he is just on the iPad every free minute he gets and before that it was just tv when he got home. Yet I'm boring as fuck even though I live the same lifestyle he basically taught me lmao. What the heck is going on? He doesn't even drink or anything to loosen up, he doesn't like alcohol because dad was an abusive alcoholic.
Yet he is so good with people despite avoiding them a lot if he can help it.

When he has time off work, as in weeks or even over a month+ he doesn't go anywhere and just stays at home yet I don't get the vibe his coworkers find him to be a boring guy for doing just that

How do I end up more like my dad?

>>21489905
Just repress it like I repress my depraved bdsm fantasies

>>21489867
Just force yourself to do somethinf. I make myself go on hikes, explore the city, see a movie, whatever. Just leave the house and go somewhere

about to sit down and watch terrifying girls high school: womens violent classroom and i swear to god if my cat comes and scratches at the door to get in despite me opening it multiple times for him already in the past ten minutes im going to fcuking kill him

>>21486987
You think it's a red flag? I don't know she's really cool otherwise her hatred is just so bizarre. I get paranoid that deep down she might be resenting me or something

Don't feel like making a thread for this but does anyone have any recommendations for books similar to Stoner or The Savage Detectives? Stories about the love, or the passion, for a subject. Doesn't necessarily have to be about literature.

I think that if they gave me leave, Within the world to stand, I would be good through all the day I spent in fairyland. They should not hear a word from me, Of selfishness or scorn, If only I could find the door, If only I were born.

Every single moment of my day for the past week has been filled with dread because in 10 days I'll have to resume college. I am so anxious that I can't even bring myself to step outside. The past year has already been the most miserable time of my life and now I can't imagine how my mental health will fare this upcoming semester.

>>21490078
How the fuck is it not a red flag? She deeply resents asian women because she sees her dad rejecting her mom for an asian women as an affront to her own self. She's the next incarnation of her mom. But then it gets really twisted where she does the mirror action of her dad by dating an asian guy. Could it be she feels compelled by her dads behaviour to follow his lead in rejecting her own race, is it that she feels like she's getting some kind of revenge agaisnt asian women by taking an asian man, or is she super insecure about being a white woman and needs the validation from the race her mom was rejecred for to satisfy herself? Who fucking knows but the fact that she has that very deeply rooted and specific hate for asians and dates asians herself is a major red flag. She's clearly using you for something like that. Has she had any boyfriends prior to you? Were they all asian?

I now fear that I am developing an obsession with a girl I came across on Instagram because her beauty is so unbelievable. I mentioned this earlier this week but I can't stop looking at her face and wishing that I was with a girl like her. It's pathetic but the impossibility of it makes it even more desirable

>>21490137
Its photoshopped, filtered, and edited, plus shehas a pound of make up on.

Well a friday evening staying in. Desu it would be nice if I were alone. But the house is full of my dad's asian wife's family. Nice people and all dont get me wrong. But i really want to drink alone and not be around non English speakers. And they're asian so they judge me for drinking

>>21490024
based film

>https://youtu.be/oPGcD0Mz3ZU
who gonna do the remix

I have a lower opinion of ugly people

>>21490024
my cat sits outside my door and meows for me to open it even when it's actually open, so i have to pick him up and carry him into the room

dry january is getting harder as each day goes on. kratom and cbd aren't cutting it anymore. seeing a whiskey soda in a movie tonight almost put me over the edge

I read, and I hear the voice of a ghost. I know someone better than I've known anyone when they're on the page. Is it so much to ask to be known this way? To think that I will be called back to this earth to whisper in some ear is repugnant to me, and I ease my struggling heart with the notion that my words will never escape the gravity of my failures.

To be a shuttlecock, to feather the wind and land with rubber face.
To blemish a page with sweat, and to scratch at the yellow fleck locked in the pulp just below the inked sign of man's heart made idly public.
A mound of ash, held by the man whose faith is now suspended, broken heart stretches for an anchor but finds none, that bleak expanse yawns before him, his glasses fog with shame and tears and sweat. What was she to him now? A mound of ash. She did not care what was done with it, and so she left a hanging question, a nail not fully severed from the finger. To him, the left behind, there is no ceremony to beckon him to order. Now plain age and empty house gapes, cold gnaws his feet on placid kitchen tiles, he wears no sock, though cleanshaven, his innards swell with the stench of the unwashed.

Realizinn that most people have fun in life. They wake up excited, looking forward to going places and meeting people. They have friends and company and fun and joy. That would be nice. My ljfe isnt painful or anything, but I wake up to the knowledge that I will do nothing, go nowhere, and meet no one. Seeing people out and about in groups enjoyinf their lvies makes me realize just how much I'm missing by being so isolated.

>>21486985
They should know better, only the top 10% of people in secondary education should be allowed to go into higher fields.

>>21490527
how are cats so based, niggas got us workin overtime

How did the romantic poets do it, bros? They’re probably the best thing to happen to English poetry since the Shakespeare/Milton/Spenser era.

>>21489937
your dad sounds gigabased

Hey look, it's still snowing in here
>>21424390
>>21424390

I return.

Define "life"

Its better not to have any friends than the pseudo ones.

>>21490650
You overstate how most people feel. Most people probably feel like you and use other things as coping mechanisms. They just lie to themselves and others to make it through the day. You have to understand most people aren't as genuine as you think they are. There's no need to care about what people you barely know or don't know think because they are incomprehensible in terms of what they actually are thinking.

You're a son of God. You're blessed with greatness. There's always hope for you whatever you may think.

>>21485603
I've awoken to a life I never anticipated having, but just gradually grew into through impassivity and lack of direction.
It pains me deeply to realize I've become the weirdo shut-in. To perceive how others view me. Gradually becoming at family gatherings an invisible presence (never stated, but I get the sense they're thinking "what exactly is that one's problem?"). Something like that. . It's a bit too late for me to develop social skills. I can't force myself beyond the surface layer of engagement with people. My social contacts today are 00.0, but in the past even when there was a semi-positive, though distant, relationship, I never could open up. I remember my roommate & my other roommates girlfriend talking about their families, and when they asked me about my own, my tongue was tied. I have plenty to say about my family members, only I couldn't bring myself to say anything.. Maybe I have nothing to say because there is nothing to me. I'm just an empty receptacle. Fill my face in and blow it Open. already Just watch it spill all over, out, and out farther into nothing. Nothing more, and nothing less. Still equals nothing.
Never been in a relationship, never had a friend group. So many nevers.. To have never been.
My roommate was a mirror image of myself. Painfully awkward and self-conscious. We were too similar to ever click well..
In high school all my memories are a series of brief awkward encounters always on the edge of any social group. Always was the kid no one really knew, no one would partner with, and so the teacher had to pair me off onto someone. So many humiliating moments. Nothing I despise more than that familiar look of pity in their eyes. I've seen it a thousand times, and it fills me with resentment every time I recall it.
Intellectually I'm a midwit. I go through phases of becoming interested in different things, but lack the discipline to learn any subject in depth. Just different passing manias: one month it's geopolitics, the next language learning, and then the next getting into whatever retarded obscure thing I saw next on here.
I'm extremely scared about securing a tangible future for myself.
I've no employable skills. Over the years I've wasted my time reading and learning many different arcane subjects, but none of which can secure me a good job, and I lack the social acumen to ever get these jobs I simply can't care about presenting myself well, which is exactly what I need to do. Wasted the past 4 years getting a degree in lit & floating through shit odd jobs.
I want to be an adult, but I also really don't want to be an adult...
I need a long term plan, but I can't decide what I want. . I'm terrified of becoming a washed up has been no kids, no family just stuck rotating through shitty mediocre grunt-level odd jobs at the age of 40. At that point I'd just kill myself since there'd be nothing more to live for.

Ive identified a pattern
>I feel like shit
>I want to be alone
>I drink alone
>I binge drink
>I cut myself
>I come into lucidity
>realize I'm acting crazy
>I put myself around people
>I act social
>people disappoint me
>I feel dissatisfied
>I want to be alone

>>21491650
There must be more to it. How is your family life? Were you social as a child?

I figured out my problem. Ive never felt a part of a group. Ive never had a gang. I had no crew. Ive always been one on one or just alone. I think Ive always just wanted to be a memeber of a group. Feel at home, feel like I belong. I'm tired of this lone wolf lifestyle

>>21491688
If you can't be a spoke you have to become the hub.

>>21491695
Explain

For the past 10 years, during my 20s, waking up was a horror and torture. It was a roulette wheel of hell each single day where most of the times I would have horrible symptoms of brain fog, derealization, head ache, diffuse feeling of disconnection toy body, not even being able to think. These symptoms after waking up then would last throughout the day, only in the evening it would get slightly better. The very rare days when I didn't wake up like that were magic. But these last weeks waking up started to feel even good. Today I woke up and I'm in literally heaven. I can't remember feeling such peace for years, decades. If this will be my thirties I'm greatful and can withstand all the usual pain that life will bring. This feeling is better than drugs. Oh well, guess I'll have to stand up eventually, yet this day is already better than 99% of my twenties just by laying in bed and not only having no negative symptoms but even feeling absolute better than opium tranquility.

>>21491657
>How is your family life?
My parents help support me. We're not exactly an emotional family, but my parents are very supportive and try their best.
My parents have their oddities . My dad is a very nervous kind of person . My mom a bit of a withdrawn misanthrope. Probably from her that I picked up the same reclusive tendencies.
Growing up my mom was a very religious Catholic, and I feel as though she never allowed me the freedom to develop my own views, but I was a skeptical kind of person, and remain so today, and would sometimes conflict due to my questioning tendencies..
>Were you social as a child?
I was always a loner. When I was young my parents hired someone to get me to speak since I was so withdrawn. After that I went through a period of being more active socially, and then began to withdraw again in high school . While I was friendly I never exactly developed close ties in middle school, . And once I started high school I disconnected from everyone I had known for some reason. I can't remember any specific reason, other than getting the sense that even when I was included it was always half-mocking, never really genuine. Being a nerdy kind of chubby kid, I began to get the sense that I was just a comical diversion to my old peers.
At the same time this girl started to bully me which for some reaosn made me want to disconnect from those I had known even more.

>>21491729
>if you build it they will come

Instead of trying to find a place you feel you belong you may have to create one. That could be creating a club for a hobby, forming a band, curate a space for young artists. Whatever it is there is always a demand for organizers of some kind, most people want to do something but want someone else to do all the work, just like how you want to turn up at some pre-existing place or group and instantly feel at home. Maybe it doesn't exist yet, maybe its up to you to make it real.

And you will probably fail at first, have a really rough start. That's how it goes.

I think it has been a solid 6 or 7 years now since my mom has bothered to ask me about girls. There was even a phase where she would not so subtly mention that she saw a cute girl working at the supermarket and stuff like that.

I really realy want to cut myself. Its more addictive than drinking.

I think having to talk to me is making a younger female co-worker a bit uncomfortable. They hired all these normal extroverted people and I seem to have slipped through. I also don't think that I'm easy to categorize, which probably makes it more confusing to people. I speak fluently, in a deep voice, make sometimes authoritative claims, then tend to zone out when people small-talk or discuss their personal lives. Then sometimes I drop some personal or emphatic remarks or say something with confidence that makes me intentionally look uncool, sort of signifying that I am conscious of my role. Basically I appear inconsistent, which probably confuses people. Am thinking about just quitting a well paying office job and doing some manual labor or something.

Waging culture war is pointless. It's only the political war that matters. Whoever wins the political war and seizes power can impose their view of culture on the broader society and suppress dissenting ones.

Influencing key individuals is way more important than impacting the culture at large.

>>21491942
I mostly agree.

I think though that morale is important, as is the ability to create new symbols especially, and how both of those things can be used to articulate new visions for future orders.
I think there can be no victory without the above, that the there can be no change without a symbol of change, as 'important individuals' are, after all, embedded in the same cultural ocean, with its many waves and currents, as everyone else. Culture is, of course, downstream from power, until it isn't.

With that being said "culture war" as 99.9999% of what people will engage in or encounter is deceptively homeostatic. A seemingly endless rehash of past victories and failures, made ever-present by an almost ritualistic antagonism and a liturgical exchange of stock arguments and accusations.
I think one of the worst things about culture as such is that it is so mind numbingly boring and predictable. When was the last time anything related to the culture war genuinely surprised you? Personally I can't remember the last time.
It is a kind of escherist loop that people find comfort and identity in, and most insidiously are perfectly fine to lose the 'war' so long as they win today's battle and score a few zingers on the other guy.

Why are there 2 WWOYM threads?

I hate how neutered contemporary media is. I want to see edge return in its full and unashamed glory, I want to see new Postal 2s, new South Parks, and new edgy anime. God, just do something fucking interesting and mildly unsafe for once in your lives, you fucking cowards.

I had a dream about my late grandfather. I found him sleeping in bed. He stood up, saying something I couldn't make out, and then suddenly vanished. After that I noticed something dark towering in the corner of the room. It was death itself, I guess, who then approached me and asked if I was ready for "ragnarok" in a voice that was both a growl and a hiss. The thing was terrifying and unbearable to look at directly so I only saw a little of its face. It was all bone and elongated like the skull of a cow or horse. I replied No and it kinda taunted me, asking why not. "Don't you want to go to the afterlife and party with Snoop Dogg?" Don't laugh. That's what it actually said.

>>21489827
I'll rip your pretty face off

>>21485679
The two things that shook my faith most were spending time with "good Christians" and reading the Bible.

>>21485603
I don't have any money, but I keep wanting to buy things. just wasted 30 bucks and feel bad, but I've been wanting to buy it for months, and I'm relieved I don't have to hem and haw over it anymore.

>>21485603
Busted 77 loads to this bitch (yes i keep track) but i find it hard to watch her shitty youtube channel, even though the words are all just background noise as i jerk off it still hits me that this stupid cocksucking slob whore is the same age as i am and she's living it up in a foreign country living in a big high rise apartment in the center of one of the most expensive cities in Asia. Her days consist of going to coffee shops and fancy restaurants with her friends and occassionally going to photoshoots and sucking the occassional modeling producer old man shrimp dick. Her life is set. She's a good looking young woman and that means the world is hers. And then there's me. A half-retarded surplus male with no discernable talents or skills. In this aspect - i am just like her. Except while she has no talents and skills she has looks, while i have nothing. This seemingly slight disadvantage, too just like in her case set my life. I will live in this shithole, i will work a shitty dead end job. I will not be able to spend every day going to gourmet restaurants with my buddies, a) because i will not have the the time or money b) i will not have the buddies. I will slave in brown shit, i will live with my parents or in some shithole rented decaying commieblock and for my leisure time i will "meet" with my "good friends" to discuss the same question
>DO AMERICANS REALLY?
Every single day. And thus the years will go by, the days will pass alternating between boredom and despair, and in the end they will all blur together into a bowl of emptyness. There will be nothing of note. In this respect, i suspect, once again there is something similar. I do not believe this whore has any real memorable experiences, however i am seething with envy, nonetheless at the fact that she lives pampered in comfort with no true worries and my life...now that i think about I t, is similar again. I have no worries either. To worry you need to have something to lose.

lads, suggest me a comfy book to end the completely wasted winter breaks

Working in public service is a dead-end job.

How do you guys pronounce 'anon'? For example, "Anon is a fag".

I have been on this god-forsaken site for too long but I always pronounced it like 'canon' but without the 'c'? Technically it's "uh-non" but it always seemed too phonetically sluggish and stuffy to me which would soften the impact of the insult.

>>21492697
https://voca.ro/1cG3QIEMRAAh

>>21492697
aaa-nun

>>21492618
Zorba the greek, you'll love it anon

>>21487069
What are you doing instead of the rat race?

i want to write a sci-fi novel, i want the climax scene to be a state funeral as to sadden and emotionally move the reader, the only thing i am undecided on is if to put the assassination and the state funeral at the start or at the end of the novel.

>>21492703
anongus
https://youtu.be/5DlROhT8NgU

>>21492935
If your goal is to sadden and emotionally move the reader, why would you put it at the beginning of the novel? Why would they care about a random funeral scene with no context?
I think generally an out of order story needs to have a good reason for doing so, think of your reason

>>21487494
i drank my own brewed pomegranate 'wine' that has been brewing since sept today when i lit a fire in the evening inside a drum
i'm not a drinker and alcohol seems like a bitter unpleasant thing but i brewed because it's like an aquarium for microorganisms

>>21491942
how do you manchus being swallowed into han culture when they were they dominant political group in 19th century china

>>21492163
one is usually for normies

>>21492600
cooming to sfw videos feels so clean
why bros

should i consoom this 100 pc box of manila folders from amazon
they seem so neat

>>21491803
Same.

>>21493157
Porn is literally an attack on your brain. It's the equivalent of being fed slop du goyaume. The entire product is prepared for you and you do nothing but consume it.

Whacking off to something that isn't inherently pornographic revitalizes the brain. It forces it to think, to imagine, to fantasize, to do that for which it was made to do. The video/image serves as inspiration. It is the equivalent of having fresh ingredients for a good meal that you yourself have to prepare. You know no one spit in your onions or injected your onions with mind control chemicals (which is what both mcdonalds and porn is) because you made it yourself.

>>21493574
damm you're right for this year i should try to mostly coom offline

>>21492163
There aren’t, technically. This is the real /wwoym/ thread, the other one is a /tv/ wwoym

>>21485603
I think there's something wrong with me. Everytime I read I start crying. It doesn't really matter what I'm reading- my eyes start dripping. I can't help it. I don't even feel that emotional or anything. what the fuck is this?

>>21485603
Dont know domt know dont know
What AM.I doing
Where am I going
Nowhere

>>21494242
same

Not all women... but certainly most women.

The passage of time, a relentless and unyielding force, does not invoke within me a feeling of fear. Rather, it is the transient nature of existence, the fleeting and illusory perception of motion that consciousness imbues upon the world, that gives me pause. Ageing, though a natural and inevitable process, has never been a source of dread for me, as I have never harboured a desire to remain in a state of perpetual juvenility. Even death, though a universal and inescapable eventuality, does not fill me with terror, though I am not yet fully prepared to confront it.

What truly fills me with an abject sense of foreboding is the prospect of reaching a state of adult maturity, one in which I must toil ceaselessly each day in order to fulfill the demands of taxation, often providing funding for the nefarious endeavours of corrupt politicians, while also procuring the basic necessities of life for my domestic dwelling. I envision returning home, drained and haggard from the day's labours, flipping on the television to the last channel I viewed, a news outlet espousing a similar political ideology to my own, and becoming embittered by the distorted reality they propagate. I cook without enthusiasm, rueing the mistakes of my past and the missed opportunities that haunt me.

I find myself seated in a state of silent despondency, feeling trapped and powerless, ruminating on how every plan I devise ends in failure or a mere scrawl on paper; how each year and each breath seem shorter and less ardent, and how each day brings me closer to the ultimate finality. It is this scenario that keeps me awake at night, overwhelmed by my errors and haunted by my missteps. I fear becoming a mere cog in the machine of society, a slave to the monotony of daily life, a passive witness to my own stagnation. I dread being caught in a cycle of poor decision-making, doomed to suffer the consequences of my mistakes. I am filled with a sense of hopelessness and despair, feeling as though every effort I make is doomed to failure and that my existence is nothing more than a futile and meaningless struggle. The weight of this impending adulthood, with all of its responsibilities and demands, fills me with a sense of overwhelming despondency and despair.

>mfw thinking of all the women who are hitting the wall as we speak
enjoy your hell roasties

Can you genuinely love a woman yet still believe that you shouldn't be together because you don't perceive you two to be compatible? She never fails to cross my mind every single day ever since we broke up a long time ago, and yet my guts, my core tells me that it was a good decision, that we were opposites and would have caused more harm than good to each other in the long run. But I still want to sleep in her arms forever, and nobody else's. Is this what it's like to be selfishly evil?

I want to be a manlet and have a gf over 6 feet tall built like a brick shithouse

>>21495678
That's so cute. You seem like you have a good soul trapped within a cage of vicious and cynical tar. You made a good decision, and yes your action was an expression of a genuine sort of idealistic love; that being the rejection of pleasure for the benefit of the one you supposedly love.

we are in the transitional period between the end of the American empire and the beginning of the multipolar world that is post Christian, post west, and post America.

The worse thing is how culturally stagnate we are, at least the British created great pop music and poetry during their decline

I forgot to buy milk.
I prepare myself a cereal.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>21495594
I feel this way too. Let it empower you, let it embolden you.

>>21495749
burgers made kino and vidya

>>21495757
movies are all remakes and reboots, video games are all nothing but first person shooters. face it, shits stagnate

>>21491884
Don't quit for manual labor. Save your body. Once the injuries start to pile up, life becomes a lot less enjoyable.

There are bizarre parallels between classical Paganism and Christianity.

The virgin Persephone's son, who was conceived by her father Zeus, was Dionysus. Dionysus is the god of bread and wine, Jesus is the transformer of water into wine and the multiplier of loaves of bread, and his primary rite involves the consecration of bread and wine which are said to transmute into the literal presence of the Lord, like in the Eleusian mysteries where the stalk of grain was to represent the literal presence of Persephone. Jesus was the son of the Virgin Mary, just as Dionysus was the son of the virgin Persephone, and in both cases the father God of heaven conceived in the virgin to give birth to a god of bread and wine. In the Greek instance, it's the maiden mother who descended into the underworld; in the Christian, it's her son the culture hero. In the Greek, the mother is resurrected as the staple wheat crop; in the Christian, the son is resurrected as the physical bread of life. Even the primordial even that initiated the whole cycle in both stories was the lord of the underworld using a plant to tempt the maiden into his clutches.

>>21495827
A lot of early Christians wrote about the uncanny parallels and most of then cannot be explained by Christians stealing pagan culture or vice versa because much of the information couldn't have been exchanged between the cultures at that time. Most took it that gentiles were predestined to claim the title of the Children of God and that they were prepared for such a thing (Platonic philosophy is an almost exact match with Christ's such that many Christians asserted Plato could not have ended up in hell.) and that much is confirmes by the last book of the old testament in prophecy.
It also goes to show just how Greek Christianity is and how little it is actually influenced by easternism.

>>21495844
>much of the information couldn't have been exchanged
If cultural osmosis isn't the explanation, then what could it be?

>>21495765
if you only consoom mainstream shit, sure. however that's not the only thing that exists.

>>21495855
There was likely some cultural exchange but the parallels are too great(especially when the old testament writings are taken into account) for it to have been the sole contributing factor. It's either extreme coincidence(most likely) or, as the Christians say, divine plan.

>>21495862
How weird and interesting. I didn't know about this until recently. Thanks for your input.

For me, pseudoscience gives me "ASMR." I like to listen to people who believe in all kinds of superstitious BS, like astrology, because it gives me tingles.

>>21496021
superstition =/= pseudoscience
retard

>>21496024
I didn't say that superstition is pseudoscience.

>>21496038
Yes you did, you niggerlicious buttsex haver
>pseudoscience gives me "ASMR."
>I like to listen to people who believe in all kinds of superstitious BS
I bet you watch porn. It's corroding your brain.

>>21496065
>Yes you did, you niggerlicious buttsex haver [sic]
Neither of those quotes are of me saying that superstition is pseudoscience.

>>21495783
Dont give a fuck about the feet but I love her gaunt face

>>21495749
Hey we're making great memes as we decline

As a carbon-based lifeform it's your duty to vanquish silicon-based life.

>>21495855
Truth can be come upon either by revelation or mental effort. What the Greeks achieved by sheer force of philosophy, God revealed to the world in His word.

>>21486509
>I just wonder what happened to comfy books?
Some people find depressing books comfy. People are different and have different tastes. Crazy isn't it?

>>21486450
Just accept her hatred toward Asian women. You're an Asian man, so you're safe from her wrath anyway, so there's no reason it should matter to you.

I can relate though, the only two gf's I've ever had have been racist. Ex (hood black chick, addicted to meth) really hated Indians, and my current gf (nerdy half-latina half-asian qt) hates black women because of my ex lol.

>>21496250
I would call that a different name from "comfy". One can read depressing books from time to time as analysis of human mind, but to actually consider them comfy means you either enjoy seeing people suffer or you self-insert and enjoy suffering yourself. Either way, it's something to think about.

Love is the most desirable pleasure, yet it is also the only one which is unattainable for those that understand it. All that one can do is let it overflow and, subsequently, dry up.

>>21496308
This does say a lot about me. I love the morbid and horrible. I must be a freak

Lesbians can't really have sex, only foreplay (toys and licking).
Its such a useless orientation. At least gay dudes can fuck each other, I guess, where as a lesbian can "sleep" with 100 women and still have had as much sex as an Incel.

I'm not fun. I don't reflect or enhance or vibe or whatever with the mood of other people around me. I am just whatever I am feeling irrespective of the surroundings.

I dont know what love is

>>21496535
You only do what you're told

>>21496603
sadly, yes. i dont know who am I too

>writers in the 60s reflected back and referred to the turn of the 20th century from the same position of temporal removal in which we reflect back and refer to the 60s.

>>21496621
Damn bro I was only quoting somg lyrics
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8xsF9fHdAfo&si=EnSIkaIECMiOmarE

For my part, I should be inclined to suggest that the chief object of education should be to restore simplicity. If you like to put it so, the chief object of education is not to learn things; nay, the chief object of education is to unlearn things.

>>21496633
oh... i see

>>21496657
Its a good song anyway

I had a dream that I adapted a little girl today. She was around 6 years old, and lived all alone in the same commie block that I did as I child. Literally living in an apartment alone as a child, going to school, buying groceries, and hoping nobody will kidnap her and shit. And she looked just like me - blond hair, green eyes, like she's my daughter. I have fathered my little brother for half a decade, so I feel like this is a manifestation of me wanting a daughter, and one of the conversations I've had a long time ago, about a family I know that not only raised their two daughters well, they even adapted other girls into their family after seeing that they were abandoned by their parents.

>>21485603
I have two dioramas. the one that I'm working on right now isn't any fun at all, and I got it at a discount, so I'm mad that I wasted the discount on a diorama that I don't enjoy. I want to quit and just do the other one, but I'm stubborn and don't want to leave the first one unfinished. what do I do?

All I want is unlimited power.

I really hate how every fucking European country has a different grading system, procedure and website for university applications! This typically seems like the kind of thing the EU could centralize and standardize in the name of European Unity™

>t. person from poor-europe trying to escape to rich-europe

>Got a new cigar cutter for cigars bigger than a 60 ring gauge
>Planning an essay titled 'The Case Against Foreign Aid'
>Have continued my resolution not to drink on weekdays and will have one this afternoon
>Weather is nice outside

Life is great.

>>21493167
yeah i'm gonna need a yes or no on this

>>21497446
That's what the equivalent levels system is for. Once you get into western uni, you're going to be astounded by how many people fail by just doing nothing for years. Soak up all the resources they don't use and you're going to get fat western public sector job offers like nobody's business.

Girl I really liked and had a bit of a thing with before she moved away is asking me if we could try long distance. I'm probably going to say no even though I like her. She's super into reading and wants to communicate via hand written letters as opposed to texting which sounds fun. BUT she's moved to California so chances of her remaining faithful are slim at best I think

Can't stop looking at dancing chicks. It's been my dirty secret for years now. I am hypnotised every time. No wonder it was publicly forbidden in the olden days.
I should point out that they aren't tiktoks, but long form videos of dancing. Especially Arab dancing.

>>21496785
Adopt. Adoption is used for taking in children who are not your own (She adopted a child from China), or taking on customs which are not your own (She adopted a new religion; he adopted the local style of dress). Adaption is to evolve something for a new medium (the book was adapted into a film) or circumstance (she adapted to her new country of residence by adopting a new religion; the lizard adapted to the increase in temperature well). A lot of native English speakers mishear and confuse the two, so it's the kind of nitpick which the more academic focused middle class use to filter out plebs. It's a useful very subtle difference to know about.

>>21498241
Don't recommend it, make a clean break now. That way nobody is able to betray the other. Perhaps in the future you may reunite.

Does anybody else like to explain things you like in detail to no one in particular inside your mind? Not in a multiple personality disorder sort of way but just having your inner monologue dump exposition as if you were explaining the topic at hand to someone.

>>21498268
>dancing chicks
For some reason my first thought was of chickens.
Anyway, dancing is basically seduction, both for humans and animals, although humans might be the only specie where it's not exclusively male that does it.

>>21498293
This made me think of hypnotizing chickens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvUBf5l7Vw

>>21485603
---- Solaria ----
786
(Satellite Elysium)

Between erotic scent
And superlative engineering

Resides the best of possible words, boy insouciance.

We are trying to hire a new analyst at my job (we do policy analysis and business consulting), and my boss is refusing to look at candidates that studied humanities, and is prioritizing interviewing business majors.

I have a finance degree and took a ton of general business courses (marketing, management, etc), but also did my minor in English

Of all the courses I took, none forced me to read as rigorously, think as critically, and write and re-write as much as my English classes, even though to get a minor I mostly only took first year courses.

I was just looking at some old course syllabuses, and in an intro to literature course I read 2 novels, and countless short stories, and had to produce 4 essays. In a third year marketing class, we had 2 tests and an exam, all of which were multiple choice.

Why has the value we place on humanities declined so much in the past the few decades? I think I could teach any lit or history major enough finance to do my job, but about half he business student's in my classes couldn't write a concise email to save their life. Despite this, all my friends from business school look down on the humanities (and get paid more) even though, in my experience, these degrees are much more rigorous, and probably provide better critical thinking ability than say, human resources, accounting or marketing.

>>21498355
>Why has the value we place on humanities declined so much in the past the few decades?

Because the humanities have a reputation of being devalued by ideology. This coincides largely with increased number of minority men and women present in them, as both students and teachers.

How did Plato go from the early dialogues, where Socrates questions everything and says that he is wise, because he realizes that he knows nothing, to the later works, where philosophers claim to know the "forms", that are basically objective truth and might be unfalsifiable? I must say, that I like the early dialogues much more.

>>21485603
I zone out sometimes. I regret things that I've said and done in the past. It doesn't last very long because I'm being killed by cancer and I quite literally don't have time for this shit. I do regret stuff though, mostly hurting the people I love. I just wanted to say it somewhere, to no one in particular, to people who probably won't remember. It's cringe and I don't want to make anyone feel like they owe me forgiveness just because I'm dying so I won't say it IRL. That said it's not the manliest thing I've ever done but I've been crying at night a lot lately. There's a shitton of stuff I realize I won't be able to do like having kids and seeing them grow up or spending holidays in a faraway country with my family. I'm not afraid of death, I'm just very very sad that I wasn't a better person and as loved as some people are.

>>21498365
the picture strongly reminded me of that comic with the gymbros and the poster that says "if you work out you support fat shaming"

>>21498389
>and I don't want to make anyone feel like they owe me forgiveness just because I'm dying so
They're probably going to find it harder to forgive not trusting them with your diagnosis, but you should have faith in their resilience: whatever you've done to them, they might be fine and you might be overestimating your ability to devastate them.
>That said it's not the manliest thing I've ever done but I've been crying at night a lot
Crying when you're sad is normal. The manly thing to do is own your emotions and know why you're feeling them and review if they're justified. Being sad over anyone's death is normally in the justified category, even for the Hitlerfags (they're just probably not justified in the deaths they don't want to be sad about).

>>21493157
>>21493574
>>21493602
Lately I said fuck it to porn and I jerk off maybe 1 time out of 10 with it and it's going further down every week. Porn isn't even hot, it's just a very direct stimulus and you take it because it's the lazy route. I just use my imagination now. Zero post-jerkoff disgust toward the disgusting whore, not having to see unwanted shit while browsing, much more satisfying, more relaxing, doesn't feel like your brain is turning into mush, tapers down your libido, and if you're like me you can finally jerk off to vanilla stuff because it doesn't fucking exist anymore

>>21498389
Noone is perfect, the things you did were probably pretty normal in the context of this imperfect world, I'm sure your family will forgive you, or they don't even think it was such a big deal.

Unlike past civilizations, why have they produced so little quality literature?

Random book rec: Brideshead Revisited
It's about two guys who meet at Oxford and develop a platonic yet homoerotic friendship. Victorian era. Great characters, plotlines, dialogue. Themes include the practicality of religion and alcoholism. I'm only halfway through and it's good enough to post about.

>>21498400
You'd be surprised how motivational that is. I do so to mong minorities. And because I hate fatties. Put them both together and you have double motivation.

>>21489937
The power of boomers...
My dad has a similar quality.

Thanks /lit/, for recommending John Clare and William Gass. These were not recommendations I asked for, I was merely lurking. I don't recall hearing of Clare, even when I was immersing myself in romantic poetry. I find myself reading a lot of him.
William Gass I surely would have never heard of on my own, I adore him.
Neat board despite all the trite threads.

>met 21 yo girl on an app
>we plan to meet for casual sex
>she hits me up right now and reveals she just wanted to let me know she’s a virgin before we meet
Nigga wtf. I’m not going to straight ask her why she would fuck a random guy from an app after being a virgin for 20 years. But nigga, wtf? She’s not even a hambeast or something like that, just a regular girl.

I was just thinking about how the nostalgia for Blockbuster is misplaced corporate brainwashing.

That place was shit. The prices sucked, and the rental time frames were shit, and the selection sucked. I went to Jumbo video instead. We called Blockbuster "Lackluster Video."

I can see you getting all weepy if that was your only option, but that was my last option. Now all of those titles fit in a folder on my desktop anyway. They just miss being young.

>>21498283
Yes. I do exactly this all the time. I can't really add anything. You said it. Its almost like I'm rehearsing it to fire it off at some poor soul, which I do end up doing from time to time. It usually happens when I'm mindlessly cleaning or something of the like.

>>21499107
try to converse irl, have a good natured dialogue. it'd be great if you could convince her not to waste her precious gift on random encounters.

>>21486194
I'd say the problem is you know exactly what awaits you.

>>21499107
Reminds me of this chick who sucked off every guy I know, except me. Her tagline?
It's my first time.

>>21495827
Examine the odd coincidence between Socrates and Jesus Christ, especially this quote:
>Luke 22:42: Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
>John 18:11: Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?
And Socrates' on how it is God (and "the gods") who deliver him to death, coincidentally again, with the bitter cup of hemlock. These coincidences absolutely shocked the early Christians to such a degree that it became early tradition that Socrates couldn't have made it to hell. IIRC it was one of the reasons the Catholics were so interested in an idea of a peaceful "circle" of hell for "noble heathens."
This shocked me too because I'm skeptical of grand coincidences and these got to be a little too much.

>>21499178
I plan on doing so when we meet and already talked with her about it online, but she’s seems pretty set on fucking someone. It’s not like I’ve room to talk since I did exactly the same a couple of years ago. Still, if she’s set on having sex, better to have her first time be with someone who cares for her well being and will be considerate rather than some literally who who may treat her like shit.
>>21499206
I her case it is more like she’s being sincere because it’s the kind of thing that would come up during sex. Besides, she had no problem saying she did sexual stuff with other guys and gave someone a blowjob, she just didn’t get fucked.

Low key, thats pretty high key right now

fuck this, i'm leaving forever.

see ya tomorrow.

Look and flee as my amorphous flesh will fill every nook and cranny of our porous reality.

>>21499530
Including my butt?

>>21485603
I feel like it's weird that I even think she might be into me. The age difference might be slim, but who's to say she's not just into me because I'm older?

I'm reading one of my friend's favorite books, and I wonder how it'll go over if my interpretations of things are different from his. I'm probably just being ridiculously paranoid, though. He's always been a big homie.

>>21499608
she's into you
the reason is almost irrelevant unless it comes in the way of her ability to love you
if you want it, move on it

it's dawned on me that i am really stupid. not sure why i thought i was anything else. i just barely managed to eek out a bachelors at a mid school, but i still held had high self-regard for some reason. lately, i've been working on working on game development solo, and i really am stupid ass hell. i can't model for shit, even low poly shit, and then i'm supposed to rig this shit up and animate using c++ and blueprints? i can't make any progress. these people on twitch who bang out indie games in their spare time don't seem that smart but i am clearly stupider than them. one of those fuckers even had his shit trending on the "upcoming releases" shit on steam the other day. what a fucker. lucky i managed to get a really a easy tho low paying day job that even a really stupid fuck can do. also, i can't do 'hard' tier leetcode problems and i struggle with 'medium'. when i was a kid my parents took me to do an iq test, and they claimed it came back relatively high like 135 or something, but now i wonder if the school told them to have me take it to see if i was cognitively impaired. maybe i got like an 80 and they didn't want to set me up with low expectations and so withheld the true outcome from me. i see it all the time at my job (useless higher ed bureaucratic flunky) where these parents sign up their kids with severe learning disabilities for classes and they go through a few torturous semesters of failure before we have to kick them out. what if those dudes are actually my peers? has my whole life been a lie?

Think I'm depressed but my job requires me to not be so I think I'll jus bottle it up and see what happens. Plus crying for help is very cringe and makes you appear weak

>>21499646
Whats the job

serious question, you got peak and you got mid but whats the other one?

>>21499637
Thank you anon.

>>21499691
gutter

im a character in a novel.
dadcore fat vibes trailer trash no honk honkey tonk
no lord
no sad
no long lost seaside boat factory
heir to an invisible throne
carries himself with righteousness
too much righteousness
tan high sock tan sneaker
sweat shorts
thick leather jacket
cowboy hat
heart glasses
a fatout burnout
an elvis for the modern era
sitting pretty with a penis on his t shirt appropriatley styled the fashion
the obtuse
the eccentric
doesnt feel at home
doesnt believe in love
wants to believe in love
overgrown stache
parading a smile of unkept knowledge
sideburns cutting in
cup his ears in sheeted circus tents
a facade
a gay rhetoric
unreality
even so
just wanna grill
just wanna know about the war going on
just wanna grill
do i really believe i'll ever be a father
it doesnt seem very real
everything else about my life has always seemed real
well beforehand
sits at the bar at 10am
drinks himself silly
a character in a novel
pshaw
i hate him
why do they like him
is it schaudenfraude
or is it the belief in something bigger
ive involved myself in the lives of strangers and they enjoy my company
thats the feeling america lost
community
low-trust society
no more running around in the yards
jumping fences
tracing the drainage ditches for short cuts
ghost dogs
duct tape men
now i have to go find that other poem

and we never got tired.
and we never got old.
we just ran through the streets forever.
and everything was perfect.

Just read over my class syllabus. The whole semester will be giving speeches about our personal lives. I hate that kind of thing. This isgonna be really rough.

>>21500184
Reorient yourself toward the view that doing those things is ultimately beneficial for yourself in some capacity, perhaps unconsciously, that you might be unaware at the moment, like making you better at sociability which is an important skill as social creatures, and reflect why you dislike those activities in the first place (perhaps some social trauma in childhood).

>>21500200
It's literally all trauma. I hate talking about my personal life because it's really fucked up. I will have no choice but to reveal deeply painful events from my life to a class full of teenagers (I'm that mid 20s guy who's still in college)

>>21500207
People like authentic and vulnerable people, e.g. Matt Gould. Just be careful not to be prideful of your own suffering (vulnerable but inauthentic).

I'm bored and unhappy with my life but too much of it has passed for me to be hopeful for the future

I hate everything and have panic attacks daily. How can this go on for years? How is this possible? Do I just suck it up amd suffer through this till death? Or just end it now? I don’t understand anything anymore.

The truth is that Tolstoy, with his immense genius, with his colossal faith, with his vast fearlessness and vast knowledge of life, is deficient in one faculty and one faculty alone. He is not a mystic: and therefore he has a tendency to go mad. Men talk of the extravagances and frenzies that have been produced by mysticism: they are a mere drop in the bucket. In the main, and from the beginning of time, mysticism has kept men sane. The thing that has driven them mad was logic. It is significant that, with all that has been said about the excitability of poets, only one English poet ever went mad, and he went mad from a logical system of theology. He was Cowper, and his poetry retarded his insanity for many years. So poetry, in which Tolstoy is deficient, has always been a tonic and sanative thing. The only thing that has kept the race of men from the mad extremes of the convent and the pirate-galley, the night-club and the lethal chamber, has been mysticism—the belief that logic is misleading, and that things are not what they seem.

>>21500519
>mysticism
What do mystics believe in? How do I become one?

>>21500522
Read The Tumbler of God. Or just read the lectures and essays from the website below, a good resource on Chesterton. But the book is explicative on his mysticism.
https://www.chesterton.org/lecture-18/
https://www.chesterton.org/introduction-to-job/

>every single download link on libgen is leading to suspicious site and not a book
It was nice while it lasted. Guess from now on I'll just read classics on gutenberg.

>>21500684
annas archive

>>21500754
Thank you

Psychologists are some annoying faggots.

>>21500914
how so?

>>21500941
Not the anon you quoted, but:
>start going to a psycholgist because I’m depressed
>one time talk about my lifting goals and end up mentioning I’ve been stuck at 67kg for a couple of months
>she gives me the smuggest look I’ve ever seen and says “stuck, huh? Interesting choice of words” while jotting some shit down on her clipboard
>I said stuck because that’s the term people use all the time on /fit/ and I assimilated it
>realize she has been assuming bullshit on a bunch of things I’ve been talking about for months and I’m basically burning my money away
Tbh she was also a Lacanian, which in my experience are some of the most stupid fuckers around. Also:
>years before, be a depressed 15 yo going to the psychologist for about a year
>I once mention I can’t seem to find the will to get out of bed in the morning and just languish there thinking after waking up
>he tells me no one would get out of their beds in the morning if they started thinking about their lives
These fuckers deal with vulnerable people all the time and still act in a completely reckless and irresponsible manner.

the master and servant have the same fate
from the cradle to the casket
there is no way to escape
keep putting on the play

>>21501231
>realize she has been assuming bullshit on a bunch of things I’ve been talking about for months and I’m basically burning my money away
What do you think she was assuming, and what was the basis?

>>21501231
I am the original anon and while my complaints are of a different nature those are good points too.

>>21485603
I read at least 100k words a day, but it's mostly fanfic

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY JOINTS ARE SQUIRMING

>>21501231
Was sent to one as a teen. I discovered that they are really fun to lead on, provided you're not fronting the cash, because psychologists all employ the same absolutely basic bitch analogical reasoning that is about on tier with a YouTube video essay on anime.

I would do shit like tell them I was reading a book about black holes, and predictably they would then ask if I saw my life as a black hole, something sucking me in that I couldn't escape. It's real "Good guy wears white, bad guy wears black" tier analysis, so you can basically breadcrumb them to whatever conclusion you like.

I am sure that there are some smart and effective ones out there, but I would attribute that mainly to an innate ability to read and influence people, not the theory they operate off of. The vast majority of them though are dullards who basically do flowchart based literary criticism on the babblings of vulnerable people.

>>21501537
If you refuse to engage with therapy, of course it's going to seem dumb and heavy-handed. For the most part, therapeutic technique isn't intended to "take you in" or somehow hoodwink you. If you were able to think a step or two ahead of your basic, visceral reaction, it might occur to you that the question of whether you see your life as a black hole is nothing more than an invitation to talk about your life. A therapist really isn't going to go all that far out of his or her way to make you cooperate, because that is ultimately the single biggest predictor of therapeutic success — does the patient want to cooperate and engage with the program, or are they antagonistic thereto? It really is a mirror, when employed well. Nothing in the world can make you get better using therapy if you fundamentally don't want to engage with therapy.

>>21500684
Always been this way, has it not?

>>21501537
One of the most hilarious interactions I had was when I mentioned hikikomori to a psychologist. They decided that I isolated and didn't like talking to people because I wanted to "identify with the hikikomori community." My fucking jaw figuratively hit the floor. They didn't just say that as an off-handed statement either; the idea that I was associating with "the hikki community" became the centerpiece of their "plan." The gap separating the normies from anons is so vast a chasm that it cannot ever be crossed.
>>21501554
I think anon's critique was of the system itself. Someone with good interpersonal skills is as effective as a PhD level psychologist at the practice because all of psychology is a pseudo-scientific mess.

>>21501243
In that particular case, she thought my relationship with my weight/body was one of bondage (the word “stuck” in my language can also denote being detained, although the context in which I used it was very literal and could only cause misunderstanding with someone who’s actively looking for a hidden meaning. People use it all the time in statements like “I’ll be about one hour late because I’m still stuck in traffic”). That’s the only particular case I recall since it was so ridiculous, but she was very into hidden meanings and unconscious shit. Not that these things don’t exist, but as Froid would say “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”. Besides, if you misinterpret literal statements you have no business trying to deal with something as oblique as unconscious word association.
Basically, it’s the same mix of arrogance and disregard for their own ignorance that most health professionals have, with the main difference being that a doctor has to acknowledge something is amiss when his patient doesn’t improve while a psychologist can just cook up some bullshit and merrily go about his days with no sweat off his back.
Now that I think about it, I would compare psychologists to ancient doctors going on about the four humors and leeches. From time to time they do good but their methodology is unequivocally fucked.

>>21501587
>Now that I think about it, I would compare psychologists to ancient doctors going on about the four humors and leeches. From time to time they do good but their methodology is unequivocally fucked.
This. Freudian psychoanalysis is still kino. Bullshit, but kino.

>>21501554
It's a pretty loaded segue if it was a good therapist anon saw and they said this. Anon could be telling lies on the internet or giving an example which doesn't reflect the actual situation, but a lot of terrible therapists do similar things. It's pretty clear from the conversation as anon described that one of them was predisposed to thinking of catastrophic distress and one was not. Considering the heavy bias in the profession to theatrical traits and empathy breakdowns, there's every chance anon's therapist was far more invested in a kind of schadenfreude being provided by their clients rather than meeting their client's interests and disposition where it was.

>>21501587
Yeah, psychoanalysis is pretty roundly derided these days, and for good reason. I wouldn't recommend trusting your mind to Jung or Freud, personally. That kind of highly theoretical psychology definitely has its place; but in my opinion, that place is definitely not in a clinical setting.

>>21501599
>Considering the heavy bias in the profession to theatrical traits and empathy breakdowns, there's every chance anon's therapist was far more invested in a kind of schadenfreude being provided by their clients rather than meeting their client's interests and disposition where it was.
Sounds like a leap to me. Very little direct evidence to support that.

>>21501608
Honestly if you have no experience of the
>I got into psychology because I think I'm a bit fucked in the head myself
meme then you have no experience of psychological training in the west.

>>21501587
>>21501596
>>21501604
Psychology is an art. You need a great artist to produce (or fix) a masterpiece.

>>21501628
Well yeah it's the art of talking, more or less.

new
>>21501666