/lit/ - Literature

Keep it simple. Just copy and paste about a funnel placed into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass, and you are now a writer!

Also, any tips for keeping a journal?

>>2142994
Helps to be a fag.

>>2142998
Check.

What else?

stop being depressed and emo

find motivation

stop using words like ennui

>>2143008
>stop being depressed and emo
Pic related
>find motivation
Such as? I have great ideas that I really want to write out, I just... never do.
>stop using words like ennui
Nevah

>>2143009

>I have great ideas that I really want to write out, I just... never do.

As we Aussies say, 'harden the fuck up'.

>>2143054
Bloody oath, mate. If the fuckin' tosser stopped havin' a whinge he might actually get some bloody work done. Fuckin' poofter should just harden the fuck up.

>>2143054
is that you chopper?

>>2143065
I see your point, but it is a worthwhile saying regardless of its bluntness.

>>2143065
>>2143065
Drink a fucking glass of concrete

The assholes who come in here to whine about how they want to write, but have a laundry list of excuses why they can't, are exactly like the fat assholes who go to /fit/ and whine about how fat they are, but make up excuses why they can't stop eating fatty garbage and start exercising.

They tell themselves they want to be fit, but they don't want to do anything differently to get it. Ergo, they din't REALLY want to be fit.

You tell yourself you want to write and then you don't do it. Obviously, you don't want to write, or you'd be doing it.

>>2143079

What? Bloody scamp.

These parvenus that call themselves 'writers' these days have no fuckin work ethic.

>>2142988
Start writing bro. Just start right now. You are not making the Great American Novel. Just write and write. Start with short stories. Show the best you have done in a week to someone who is into reading. Then if you can afford it go to a creative writing class.

Do it OP.

>>2143091

Speaking of Patrick White, I'm getting a copy of his out-of-print-and-ridiculously-expensive first novel Happy Valley together as a PDF.

Will post it up on /lit/ once I figure out what I did wrong to make it 42mb.

>>2143102

No one here will ever read Vivisector or Tree, let alone his more obscure stuff.

Just fucking write some shit you stupid nig nog. It doesn't matter if it's terrible, it should be terrible unless you've been writing for >5 years, and if you think you've written something good without devoting yourself for a long ass niggardly time then you're deluding yourself. Suck it up, buttercup, we all have to go through the stage of being absolutely horrible at something before we can at least begin to be mediocre, and maybe, just maybe, if we keep at it devote all of ourselves and write 4 hours every day for ten years, maybe then we will have written something that might be called "pretty alright."

I like to think of writing like learning to play and eventually mastering a musical instrument. It's not something you just sit down and do, despite the mass of plebeians and their cute little bucket lists on which the have written "write the great American novel." Bless their naive (no, just plain stupid) souls, but that one's gonna remained unchecked. If you want to learn piano, you're going to have to sit there for a dick shitting long time making horrible noises. After a year, maybe you can entertain your friends with a few simple chords and an easy melody. But nigga please if you think you're gonna make anything of quality without sitting your ass down for years of practice.

it takes dedication
it takes dedication
it takes a death
and only god can allow it
and you couldn't do it if you're not the seed of god
and so the path through the great corridors
these are corridors unto his perfection
that is which the prophet and the oarman summoned has penetrated
that through this great sea of blackness
that i penetrated through these corridors
and i went through that last segment
where i went through these dark serpentines
i passed through that corridor
where they sat
where they are
and when you penetrate to the most high god
you will believe you are mad
you will believe you've gone insane
but i tell you if you follow the secret window
and you die to the ego nature

>>2143152
Have you followed your advice and been writing 4 hours every day for ten years? If so, it doesn't show.

>/lit/, I want to become a novelist.


It's not something you want, it's something you do. You either write or you don't.

>I find myself unable to sit down and write

Because you're not a writer - you just like the idea

>due to a persistent cloud of writers block,

There's no such thing as writer's block - you're just not a writer.

>depression, and ennui.

Many of the best writers have written under the burden of crushing depression

>Also, poor planning.

Planning is essential - even an actual writer needs to plan his book out. And as to whether you're a real writer, see above points.

>Also, I've noticed that most mainstream novels are thrillers or detective fiction. Why is this?

They're not - you just have a limited exposure to fiction. However, people do enjoy detective fiction, so that's why people write it. Usually they themselves love detective fiction and think that they could do better.

>>2143153
nigger did I say I wanted to be a writer? Fuck no I did not bitch. I think maybe you need to devote just a bit of your time to getting a bit better at reading comprehension. Maybe I've devoted my time to playing the piano. Maybe I have devoted my time to being a great soccer player. Maybe I have devoted my time to nothing other than pleasing my whims of the moment. Or maybe I have in fact devoted my time to being a writer (albeit not for 10 years, nor for 4 hours a day (most days)), and maybe you just failed to catch my posting of a not too esoteric reference and I am laughing at you because you are entry level as fuck for thinking I wrote the above.

I bet you sniff boys buttholes. Butthole sniffer.

Honestly, OP, there's nothing anyone can say that will help you. There's no secret. There's no way to make it easier.

You have to sit down and do it. It's that easy, and that hard.

>>2143153

You stupid bastard - his 'poem' is a song, which is actually rather well known, if you're not at high school.

You've just made yourself look rather stupid, old boy.

>>2143159
Funny you say that, because I have in fact devoted my time to funnels placed into assholes, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the Asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the Anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the ultimate anal cannon bump!

>>2143165
>he thinks Black Emperor is well known

nigga do you live williamsburg

>>2143159

>It's not something you want, it's something you do. You either write or you don't.

Actually, becoming a novelist can be something you want if you desire to write a novel but haven’t yet. Being a writer, on the other hand, isn’t something you can want: you either write, or you don’t.

>Because you're not a writer - you just like the idea

I think it’s safe to assume that the OP is a writer, since he wants to write a novel. He has clearly written in the past and perhaps writes even now. He just wants to become better at the craft. Sometimes that includes learning how to approach it.

>There's no such thing as writer's block - you're just not a writer.

Not so. Writer’s block is a real phenomenon that occurs when a writer has trouble telling a particularly tricky or difficult part of his story. Outside pressure, such as a manuscript deadline, can also be a factor.

>Many of the best writers have written under the burden of crushing depression

And likewise many of the greatest writers have been unable to write “under the burden of crushing depression.” What’s your point?

>Planning is essential - even an actual writer needs to plan his book out.

Actually, that’s false. There’s no hard and fast law that commands that all writers plan or outline their work. In fact, there’s a whole school of thought based around the concept of writing without planning, or “free writing” as it were.

TL;DR Don’t listen to him, OP.

Cont'd

As for your problems, my advice is two-fold:

First, read. A lot. Try to pinpoint the genre in which you want to operate and locate its best authors. Then study how they go about telling their story – what things are effective? Ineffective? This will teach you more than you know and perhaps provide you with some inspiration you didn’t have before.

Second, write. Don’t worry about finishing anything or editing yourself as you go. First try to just get some of your thoughts onto paper. You don’t have to show any of what you write to anybody else. Hopefully over time, this will become easier. You’ll get better just by going through the process of it. When you gain more confidence, you can start on a larger project like a novel and toying around with some of the good ideas you said you had in your OP.

As for your depression and general “ennui,” I can’t help you. I would advise that you see a therapist or a clinical psychologist. Someone somewhere has the answer to these type of problems, but they likely won’t be found on the lit boards of 4chan.

Good luck.

>>2143264
Oh, and I forgot: when in doubt, just place a funnel into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the ultimate advice.
Really.

>>2143268

Clearly you're not the same person and are fooling nobody. You write like a dunce, whereas >>2143264 actually seemed like he knew what he was doing.

>>2143268
Oh, by the way, I just placed a funnel into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the ultimate jerk-off material.

>>2143271
Clearly, you are me, because you have this kind of funnel thing placed into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the Asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the Anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the Strange Case of The Guy Who Was Phone!

>>2143273
Funny you say that, because I just placed a funnel into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the Asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the Anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the ultimate anal dessert!

>>2143276
Y'know, that is really quite a coincidence. Because I also just placed a funnel into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the Asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the Anal cannon explodes! To top it all off, ass to mouth occurs, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the ultimate anal dessert! I guess great minds must think alike.

>>2143089
Actually, I've had more success with /fit/ than I have writing.
I mean, really, doing push ups is harder and less complicated than putting thoughts into word.

>>2143099
I can never get anyone to actually read what I write, and that might be the problem.
And when I do show someone, all they say is "wow, this is really good" as if they didn't read it at all, just looked right on through it.

It's so damned hard to get real criticism from the people you know, and it's hard to get people you don't know to read things.

>>2143149
Well, I have spent my time making noise, but now that I'm playing things more complicated than Twinkle Twinkle, I can't seem to get anyone to come to my recitals. I don't want to make the great American novel, for one because there's no money in it and I'd like to be able to write and afford a simple life.

>>2143258
>He has clearly written in the past and perhaps writes even now. He just wants to become better at the craft.
This.
>In fact, there’s a whole school of thought based around the concept of writing without planning, or “free writing” as it were.
I've tried it, it's had it's successes and failures. Usually I run roleplaying games on IRC, so all of my writing these days is improvisational storytelling as players try to mess things up, as players are wont to do.
>>2143264
It's kind of funny, actually. I can never find a book with a story I like (which is one reason I want to write, obviously), but now that I do want to read more I'm... sort of banned from the library because they get uppity when a cat spills water on one of their books, and now I have to pay something like $40 for a paperback book on the Tarot.

I always *try* to write, but that whole "sit down and write" thing never seems to work for me. I always have trouble doing anything on a schedule. I've been meaning to set an alarm for doing exercise, or putting in applications, or writing... but then I realize I can't even sleep on the same schedule.

Also, lespritdescalair.tumblr.com if anyone cares.

Bump; Anyone care to give criticism on that Tumblr up there? Tell me that I should never again write ever?
You know, the usual.

Oh wow someone brought anal cannon back. Nice

What was I arguing with this asshole Walker about last night? I can hardly remember now...

>>2143258

>>2144457
I don't remember arguing with anyone, other than Deep&Edgy.

Maybe it was about how much you wanted to have sex with me?

Has anyone done any freelance work for the internet? Preferably something that works with PayPal?

>>2146547

Right off the bat, you're probably not going to get paid to write articles online. Do some free shit first to build your portfolio. Entertainment/music/local blogs and community publications are plentiful.

I'd reccommend Cracked, but I dunno how the rate of getting published is on that site. It's apparently free to sign up and pitch to editors.

write about your feelings. A page filled with your writing is like a thought given physical shape and you are the one who decides the shape.

>>2144444

Pretentious web design aside, I managed to get through "Sidestepping."Your word order is fucking weird sometimes. The beginning interested me, but there were a few awkward wording moments that made me cringe. Basic grammar too (its quiet meadows, not it's quiet meadows). A few cliches, but you didn't use any purpleshit. Good. Also,

“Hey!” someone shouted, in a strange language.

How the fuck is "Hey" a strange language, if the character clearly understands what "Hey" means?

Wasn't a bad excerpt. Doesn't make me optimistic about the other pieces though.

>>2144444

All right, read your May 25th post.

...Fucking hell. I'm not going to critique the writing since it's a personal blog, but frankly your Adventure list sounds like every other rich hipster kid's ~rebelling badass~ phase, or a shitty coming of age YA story.

>BUSK
>PANHANDLE
>TATTOO
>PIERCING
>DYE MY HAIR
>SLEEP WITH A STRANGER
>DRINK
>SMOKE
>BREAK IN SOMEWHERE

Look at your life motherfucker. Look at these choices.

>I find myself unable to sit down and write due to a persistent cloud of writers block, depression, and ennui. Also, poor planning.

maybe you should try another hobby.

>>2144444

I can't read anymore anon, I'll stop at "The Hollow and Hungry."

>Two sentences in
>"Sometimes, the dead aren’t restful. They die alone, lonely, sad and pathetically."

I don't want to read anymore. I just. Fuck.

Walker, I'd suggest to read more. The pieces aren't terrible. They're not very original, but you've got good structure. Certain moments are very striking and easy to visualize. Most of it is cliche shit and induced my gag reflex. Read more, write more, and don't go on your trip of stupidity; it certainly won't enlighten nor lend to your writing style.

>>2146635
Why?
I mean, what is it that's bad about it?
I'm not saying you're not right, I'd just like to know WHAT you don't like about it. What's cliche about it, why do you like the structure but not the rest? Although I've never claimed to be original. I actually do a lot of "this is how I'd do things" when I write.
But what's wrong with that sentence?

>>2146586
That one especially was free writing (all of them are to a point, though).
>How the fuck is "Hey" a strange language, if the character clearly understands what "Hey" means?
Translation convention, but you have a point. I meant that the character said some alien thing that equates to "hey!"
Like... "Oi!" or something.

>>2146605
>rich hipster kid's ~rebelling badass~ phase, or a shitty coming of age YA story.
I'm actually poor, but that's part of the point. That it's supposed to be. I want to do something fun. Sure, it's a bit cliche there, but... so? Its a bunch of fun things I want to do. What would you suggest I put on there?
Besides, I've always said I want to be a hipster without the irony.

>>2146586
Also, on the subject of pretentious design, I really didn't like the standard tumblr layout, and the picture stack seemed fun.

Turns out I was wrong, and it's really kind of dumb and annoying, especially since it kicks older stories off the stack. I'd been hoping it was going to just keep stacking them up.

>>2146562
Signed up, but haven't really looked arund.

>>2146694
>BUSK
>PANHANDLE
>TATTOO
>PIERCING
>DYE MY HAIR
>SLEEP WITH A STRANGER
>DRINK
>SMOKE
>BREAK IN SOMEWHERE

It must be a sad life for people who think this are adventures.

>>2146710
They're things that I wouldn't normally do.

And again, "it's a sad life for people who think these are adventures" is sort of the point.

But you're free to suggest anything to add.

>>2146714
The point is that your life is sad? Then... don't think of shit as adventures, just stop having a shitty life. Granted, it's harder than it sounds, but checking things off a checklist won't help. And it's lame. And if you wouldn't normally do them, that means you don't want to do them, in which case you're a poser faggot.

I don't know. I just felt like dissing you.

>>2146714

All that shit you listed isn't fun. It's percieved as fun because shitbags and ne'er-do-wells love wasting time, injuring themselves, and inconvenincing others, and somehow this sort of behaviour is appealing to dumbasses.

>>2146733
Well, the point of doing things that I wouldn't normally do is to go outside of my comfort zone and make me a better person.
Because really, I don't know where my comfort zone lies, other than sitting here on my bed in my parent's house. And if that's the limits of my comfort zone, then I need to start pushing against them and expand it; hence doing a lot of things I'm not comfortable with at the moment.


>>2146747
How so?
I know for a fact some of the stuff is fun, because I've gotten close to it before. Urban exploration, for instance. I already enjoy looking at the pictures and reading about other people's experiences, and what little taste of exploration that I've gotten myself (looking around abandoned places at the park, going down those back roads between houses) has been fun and exciting. To go into an abandoned hospital or asylum? That would be amazing.

And other than stealing--which as I've said I'm not really sure how willing I'd be to do that anyway--what inconveniences someone else, or is even all that dangerous?

Although, I should add parkour to that list, which is dangerous.

>>2146747
>faggot detected

Most of what he wrote isn't fun, but everyone likes fucking and drinking.

>>2146764
>then I need to start pushing against them and expand it;

You sound like a self-help book. Just do whatever the fuck you want, not what you think you have to.

Also, parkour is lame.

>>2146747
Also, I'm hearing a lot of "This shit is stupid" but not a lot of "this shit isn't XYZ".


Give me some suggestions, then.

I've already got to add sitting in on college classes; Geocaching; and fishing without a pole.
Although I've tried Geocaching and fishing without a pole before. Couldn't really Geocache since it was just looking on Google maps, then trying to figure out where something was within 20 yards of trees.

>>2146769
These are things I want. I don't think I 'have' to do anything.
Also parkour is awesome.

>>2146765
I don't. But I'd like to like them.
I always get shit about the drinking, though. But everyone says I shouldn't base whether or not I drink on seeing people binge drinking and acting like retards. But, see, the problem is... the people I see binge drinking and shitting themselves are my family members. If alcoholism seems to run in your family, you start to worry about drinking. Especially when you're someone like me, who's already a little wary about anything that loosens the lips or alters the mind.

But, I do need to let myself relax, and do that kind of thing. Problem is, I don't know what kind of drunk I am, and I don't really have anyone I trust enough to drink with.

>>2146780
If you don't like fucking, then you have issues. I mean it, that's some serious anhedonia going on right there.

As for the drinking, do it alone. If you like it, you'll know it

>Especially when you're someone like me, who's already a little wary about anything that loosens the lips or alters the mind.


What kind of people are they letting into 4chan this days? In MY day people didn't leave their house without rolling and they used to wear pacifier on their necks. Which was the style at the time.

OP are you twelve? do you know what this is?

>>2146780
If you are that paranoid about alcoholism, the chances of you becoming an alcoholic are nigh zero. Alcoholics are people that really love alcohol in the first place. You should just fucking relax a little.


http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-questions-you-need-to-ask-to-avoid-ruining-your-life_p2/

>>2146793
Well, I'm a fat romantic with self-esteem issues that was molested by a friend growing up. Of course I'm a virgin who's got issues getting sex.
I wouldn't quite call it anhedonia (though I do seem to suffer from depression, which I'm going to see a doctor about soon), I mean, I'd certainly like some sex, it's just that I want to have strong emotional ties first. Or at least, that's what I thought... If my ex hadn't been so uncomfortable with physical intimacy, I think we might have ended up going at it like rabbits...

>>2146813
I'm aware, and I've read the article.
>You should just fucking relax a little.
I'm definitely aware.


But again, what SHOULD I have on my bucket list/Adventure Checklist? What is a real adventure, that isn't just me imitating people who are more rebellious and happy for it? And don't say something like "get a job", because those are just lame. Although, I would like to start a business, just not within the six months or so that I'm doing the rest of this.

>>2146828
>Well, I'm a fat romantic with self-esteem issues that was molested by a friend growing up.

Is the fat there modifying you or romantic, because there are different answers for either.

>what SHOULD I have on my bucket list/Adventure Checklist?

You should stop having one and just having organic experiences. Do whatever the fuck you want whenever you feel like it, stop planning. Planning stuff just makes life forced and ultimately dissapointing.

Are you like, 14 or something.

Walker you're a pretty cool guy. Sorry I argued with you over something the other day.

>>2146845
The fat modifies romantic, which is here being used as a noun. That is to say, I'm overweight and don't think that I should be in a relationship until I'm at a point where I'm comfortable with my clothes o--oh, Jesus... no, I'm not a chubby chaser...
>Are you like, 14 or something.
Emotionally, I might as well be.

That said, you're probably right about organics. I don't really 'plan' for these to the point where I'm likely to force them (other than the tattoo and piercing, since you sort of have to go out of your way for that, and they seem like the kind of things you want to think about before you do), but just... well, I don't really know how to put it, think of it more as a watch-list, if you prefer. I mean, doesn't everyone have things that they'd like to do?
But yeah, I'm at least hoping that it will all be more organic.

>>2146864
I get into so many arguments I still have no clue what you're talking about...

>>2142994

Why do you wanna keep a journal?

Well I guess if you wanna archive your life or something.

I got bored.

>>2146879
Help with mental organization and all that. Remembering things, keeping track of my life, making sense of feelings.
One part therapy, one part writing practice.

>>2146891

Oh, okay.

>>2146891

Enter NaNoWriMo.

I'm writing a shitty coming of age story.

>>2146972

No one ever finishes those.

>>2146990
Probably because they know it's a useless act and that nobody is going to (want to) read it.

Writers block only exists as an excuse,, just like asexuality.

>>2146972
I'm planning to write a story about a teenage magical detective.
He does unlicensed freelance work around the college--which will be VCU if I can get some research in down on Cary Street--and then gets wrapped up in a murder case that causes him to work with and against an angry female detective who will eventually become like an older sister to him if I make it into a series.

Is it original and creative? No.
Do I give a shit? No.

Seems like a fun thing to write.

Need to do more research on downtown Richmond and some figuring out of the magic system. Don't wanna just rip off Dresden Files or Mage: The Awakening.

>>2146972
For NaNoWriMo, I'm writing a shitty sci-fi story in iambic pentameter. It'll be a pain in the ass for anyone to read.

for OP;
stop posting on /lit/ and go fucking write. if you cant do that then go fucking read. you arent going to become a writer if you dont read a lot and write a lot. you read so much that you absorb what styles of writing you like and the kind of prose you want to mimic. then you sit down to write and if you have it, itll come out. if you dont then youll know.

even if you write crap at least you wrote today. aim for 1000 words.

as for thrillers being the top best sellers, i dont know. theyre easy reads that can be easily envisioned as films.

>>2147057
>stop posting on /lit/ and go fucking write.
Well it's not like anyone spends all day on /lit/.

>>2147008
Hi, OP.
I just became a novelist myself, so here is what I suggest:
Once upon a time, there was this guy planning to write a story about a teenage magical detective.
He did unlicensed freelance work around the college--which was VCU because he could get some research in down on Cary Street--and then got wrapped up in a murder case that caused him to work with and against an angry female detective who eventually became like an older sister to him if he made it into a series.
It was neither original nor creative, but he didn’t give a shit. It just seemed like a fun thing to write.
He needed to do more research on downtown Richmond and some figuring out of the magic system. He did not want to just rip off Dresden Files or Mage: The Awakening.
He had seen and done it all, but that day he knew it was time to bring out the anal cannon. knew it was time to bring it out. It was loaded when a funnel was placed into an asshole, and the 2nd whore puked into it. After the ass was filled with puke, a cock then fucked it until the pressure was all built up. After the asshole had been fucked hard enough, the cock was pulled out and downtown Richmond exploded!
To top it all off, ass to mouth occured, with both ladies licking off the fresh mix of vomit and ass for the ultimate figuring out of the magic system! Suddenly, it just seemed that he understood the subject for the first time in my life.

I finished NaNoWriMo the first time I tried it two years ago. Giving it another go this November. Going to write a shitty stream of consciousness cosmic horror that's so absurd/overwritten it's funny. It will probably be shit.

>>2147060
if this is op then go fuckyourself. i was trying to give you the advice you wanted. this is why youll never get anywhere as a writer; excuses excuses.

Excuses?

I wrote something just the other day. Not my best work, but still.
I was just making an observation about the board.

And the whole question was actually HOW to write more. When I ask how to become more prolific and train myself to write more, the answer "write more" is almost a non-answer.

>>2147073
Haha, I almost sprayed cocoa out of my nose.
Good show.

>>2147073

>He did unlicensed freelance work around the college--which was VCU because he could get some research in down on Cary Street

Hey, another person from Ri-

>anal cannon.

Oh.

>>2147073
man what the fuck is going on in this post

also richmond sucks

>>2147170
>also richmond sucks

Compared to some bigger cities like NY and Chicago, yeah, but it's pretty fun for a city it's size unless you have no friends or don't know where to go or something.

>>2147175
>it's

Oops

Captcha: Time iscrack

>>2147167
I'm from Richmond.
Though I've only really been to the city to go to One Eyed Jacques and The Byrd a few times.

>>2147170
It does indeed...

>>2147175
>unless you have no friends or don't know where to go or something.
That explains why I'm so bored...

There is a wrong way.
Read lots of books on how to write.
Picture related.

>>2147236

Don't read books on how to write OP, just write.

>>2147241
I think there is even a book on that as well.
I get the creepy feeling that I like books more than writing.

>>2147236
Crippling.jpg?

>>2147247
Calling it "a rich-fuck full bag of treats.jpg" would not convey what I feel when I see this folder.

For the motherfucking love of God, OP, take this funnel and place it into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it, already.

>>2147255
Boy, this forced meme got real old real fast.

>>2147259

you're supposed to funnel puke into an asshole, not into the comment field

>>2147253
I don't think that every book on writing is a bad book.
Although I will say that in general most self-help books are a pile of shit.

In general as long as they at least get you thinking, they're working.

Though any book on writing that doesn't have the last chapter of "know when to ignore every fucking thing else in this book" is obviously full of shit.

>>2147236
Where did you get all that? Source? I can't search /rs/ for some reason.

>>2147236
SOURCE NEEDED

>>2147263
Oops, sorry, I was not paying attention over the sound of how I think I am myself very funny.

>>2142988
Write about your experiences? Depression, ennui, etc serve as fuel (often terrible, but fuel nonetheless). Write what you think/feel/want to write, but just write.

Write about things that interest you. Write about experiences or moments that you have. Write about things you wished happened or that might happen. Carry at least a shitty spiral bound notebook and a pen with you at all times. Write little bits in your notes for all of your classes.

Just fucking write.

It doesn't have to/shouldn't necessarily be a contrived effort. You don't have to take an hour, sit down and think "I'm a writer. What would a writer write?".

Don't think about what you should write if it blocks you up. Just write what you want to write, or what you need to express.

>>2147259
AND THEN ANON WAS THE FORCED MEME!!!!!!!!

While we're at it, enable replies and the ask box on your tumblr. It's in the layout/site config/settings.

It'll make it a lot easier to reply with thoughts/feelings about your pieces.

>>2147266
I am still waiting for that one writer doing that one interview where he or she gets asked
"So, what are your tips and tricks on writing a novel?"
and goes
"Go fuck yourself."

>>2147267
>>2147273
I collected it over years, bit by bit.
There is no sauce and I won't upload this pile of shit.

Get your asses to the other thread and download Skeleton Crew.

>>2147282
Will you tell me the authors of point of view and show don't tell?

>>2147278
Oh yeah, and everyone should buy a fucking moleskine, at least one, because you need one right next to your bed.
Why moleskine?
It's weighted.
It conveys an air of pretentious importance and that works for me just fine.

tl;dr Moleskine. See to it.

>>2147282
I remember when Albert Camus was asked this same question, and he went batshit crazy puking everywhere.

>>2147284
These are just three-page pieces of about the same content you can get if you lurk /lit/; no author of note.

>>2147291
That was just before he got his Pulitzer, right?

>>2147285
It hurts because it's true.

Using a fountain pen with the moleskine helps bolster the self-important aura.

>>2147281
I've only been able to do that with the "What to do on a trip?" one.
It seems to only let me if it ends in a question mark, or the title ends in a question mark.

I'll look around, though.

>>2147285
Too expensive.
Though at the same time, a marble composition book is too large.
And just makes you look like a grade schooler. Not that I have a problem with that.

>>2147302
I will say that the idea sounds better and better...


Although the problem I have with notebooks and trying to give myself this aura of self-importance and scholarly writerness is that I can never actually think of what to write on the first page that won't just seem stupid.
I mean, page 12 or 30 is rubbish and no one cares. Page 1?
That has to set the tone for your entire journal...

>>2147328
Take to professional drinking. Takes the edge off of BLANK PAGE ONE.

By the way, I am actually uploading the Crippling folder, just in case someone is nuts enough.

>>2147332
As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I'm not one to drink alcohol.
Heck, it wasn't until recently that I started drinking coffee (though that was less because of the caffeine's strong drug properties and more because I don't like the taste of shit.)

>>2147318
Write fucking anything. It'll take you a little to get used to the idea of writing in it. It's not a finished work. Cross things out, scribble, doodle. Just get used to writing everything/anything that interests you in there.

There are less pretentious/cheaper variations on that size of notebook. Field notes, the cardboard moleskines, small sketchbooks, rhodia, picadilly, etc.

Just pick something from here if you really don't want a moleskine

http://blackcover.net/?tag=moleskine-alternatives

Alternatively, just go to an office/art supply store and look for the size of notebook you want.

The most expensive, most worthless notebook is the one you never use.

>>2147347
Drugs are good.
Any drug, really.

Oh, here we go:
http://www.mediafire.com/crippling

>>2147354
To anyone, really:

Read/dl Cambridge Creative Writing and The Psychology of Creative Writing before someone makes them go away again.

>>2147318
Go to your dashboard
Click on the name of your blog (in greyed out blue at the top)
It'll show you the posts from your blog (In dashboard format)
Now click the word "settings" on the right hand side.

There should be options to allow replies and questions.

ITT: /lit/ pedo squad tries to score with 12 year old gay OP

>>2147367
Oh, he's twelve?
My, do I feel silly now.

>>2147360
Found it.

>>2147367
wut?

Most people who claim they want to become writers in fact want to be authors. They don't so much want to write as to have written. You have to decide which you are.

>>2147670
>They don't so much want to write as to having been published with anything.
Fixed.

Will masturbate to Taty Jasbon now.

Great thread

>>2147354

Just finished downloading all those books. Thanks.

>>2147679
Sure. I will not tend to this folder, at all.
If something gets taken down by copyright claim, it's gone.
Other than that, I will not delete anything myself.

>>359350214

Fucking reported

Does anybody have a copy of Bird by Bird: Instruction on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott? I've heard it's one of the best books on writing available but I can't find it.

If anyone has a link I would be very grateful, as would everyone else interested I iagine.

I know I'm going to get flack for this but...

Why not write some fanfiction on the side? One-shots or small chapters for fanfiction net don't take long to write, you recieve a feedback and you also get a public (fanfiction.net shows you numbers views, vies per day, chapter etc.). Knowing that you have a public is great and keeps you stimulated.

>>2147704
The very thought induces nausea.

>>2147710

It liberates the writer from the need to create characters or worlds, allowing him to concentrate on writing and style.

Alternatively there is FictionPress.

>>2147704
I have had a conversation on /lit/ and on reddit both about whether or not it is bad to write fanfiction earlier this year/month/lost in time and I came to the following observations:

-the ones who write fanfiction do not care for the argument that using another person's world, characters, setting and style has to be a bad thing

-the ones who write fanfiction firmly believe that writing fanfiction helps them ease into their own style, finding their own voice by exploring their own take on someone else's established work, may that be a book, a novella, a song, a video game, a movie, a series, a cartoon or what have you

To me that whole culture is close to tracing images instead of sitting down with Loomis and a sketchbook at the ready.
But maybe I am well behind the times and simply refuse to consider being a relic.

>>2147719
>reddit

>>2147719

>>2147719

>>2147719

Ultimately fanfiction is exactly that. However I find writing fanfiction easier. Before I start writing anything I need to have a strong outline and a few pages detailing several of the elements I am about to use.

With fanfiction I do not have this , I just sit down and write. I use characters I like in setting I like - because this allows me to concentrate on fleshing out the dialogue/description/rhymes/etc. instead of burdening myself with the need to create the world and it's characters (which is something marvelous, but I'm not always in the mood)

Bottom line - you are correct, but sometimes people want to doodle, not do a Van Gogh.

But we are getting off-topic.

>>2147719
>with Loomis and a sketchbook at the ready.
I don't think that this is the best idea for people that want to get into writing. You should discover your personal tastes, whatever they may be and explore your own enjoyment of reading, then let it flow over into your writing.

Also a lot of constructive criticism and positive feedback, regardless of what your writing, I feel is necessary for the growing process.

People should begin writing whatever they feel comfortable writing and not showing anyone, till their confident enough to get criticism on their work.

I personally feel writing forums are the best for this as /lit/ just wants to tell you and your grandma how horrible your taste in books are, I feel fictionpress or even fanfiction to both be more welcoming and more productive then /lit/ probably will ever be, but that shouldn't be surprising to anyone.

Throw out all entertainment devices.

Erase all games and browsers from your computer.

And the media players.

Sit down. Do not get up. Stay seated for at least an hour. Even if you're not working. Don't do anything else. Stay seated.

You'll start working from boredom.

>>2147725
/lit/ is made up of consumers, not creators.
Picture related to 4chan and other multi-purpose sites.

My simile sucked.
I don't even know why I wax elitist when it comes to how people write and why.
I would, in hindsight, consider my response to be of merit if someone told me "hey, this is the best shit I have read so far" and said shit would have been fanfiction but since that wasn't the case at all, I realize now that I was full of shit for the sake of being full of shit.

I apologize. Write as you like and above all:
"Don't worry about making sense while you write, instead concentrate on what feels right as everything will fall into place"

Should better listen to my own quotes from time to time.
Good day to you all!

brump

>>2147670
Well, I want to be a writer.
I mean, yes, I'd like to 'have written' something and had it published, and then be writing something else. I'd like to make it into a career if possible. I've mentioned before how I don't really want to be some famous billionaire author, I just want to be some guy who writes books and has a few fans and gets enough money to pay off student loans, have a family, and put kids through college.
>>2147704
>Knowing that you have a public is great and keeps you stimulated.
That's true, but at least for now I'm naive enough to want to keep my soul.
>>2147715
That's my favorite part, and at least as far as roleplaying games go, I've been told my characters are great. What's FictionPress?
>>2147719
There's creativity in using an established setting, and more or less every extended universe novel is fanfiction, but I don't like the idea of using other people's characters because I don't believe in my ability to write someone else's character better than I could write my own. I'll use characters inspired by existing ones, but they'll still be mine.
>>2147722
I never really need to flesh out much of my own creations, and when I do it's something that I really like. Admittedly, I haven't actually written anything novel length, or even more than a sort of short story vignette.

>>2147725
> I feel fictionpress or even fanfiction to both be more welcoming
The problem is that those sites are more welcoming and generally are filled with the veritable detritus of the internet because there's little to no critique or criticism. I'd rather take the senseless and asininely judgmental nature of 4chan and /lit/ over hollow praise from a fanfiction website populated by people clamouring for generic poorly written garbage that caters to their lust.
Same reason I never drew furry porn.

Bumpump

I'm tempted to go to Reddit's r/Assistance board and offer to write stories for money.

Good practice, and it would get me money to finance my trip.

>>2149384

K, but don't expect them to take you up on that.

>>2149388
Hey, I've seen people doing less and getting more.

Someone was doing art commissions. Maybe story commissions will be such a novelty.

Besides, as someone told me when I mused on the subject: "What's the worst that could happen, they say no?"

>>2149390
>I've seen people doing less and getting more.
You mean this guy? >>2149386

>>2149393
No, I mean the people who draw furry porn that looks like it was done by a fourth grader for 35 dollars.

I have no idea what you're doing there.

>>2149406
I liek literature

>>2149416
I don't quite believe that.

>>2149753
Any progress on losing that 10 pounds to become a twink, Walker?

>>2149758
hi, bye

OP is still not a novelist?
This thread has been here like forever.

I think you'll be a very successful novelist in about two weeks. All your symptoms are just steps to greatness.
It has been an honor posting in this thread OP!

pic related: blow your brains out

/lit/ YOU ARE SLOWEST BOARD EVER HOW IS THIS EVEN HERE holy fuck

>>2142988
you've disgraced fillion with your douchery.

>>2149758
No, I have a lot more than 10 pounds to lose.
>>2149876
How?

>>2149995
How long has this thread been alive for? What have you done in this time? Have you written? Have you sat down, turned off the tv, radio and net and disciplined yourself to write for a few hours. Even take a day off of work?

>implying you work

If not, why not? If you have not done this yet then this is the reason why you've not done anything yet.

Also this man >>2143157 has spoke the most sense in this thread. He is a hero. Listen to him.