/lit/ - Literature

I'm looking for books about great men who had major failures, setbacks, or embarrassments before they were great.

What are your dreams like?

>>21328160
Napoleon got publicly cucked and dumped by his first gf, then wrote a seething play about it. I'm pretty sure that this butthurt fueled his rise to the top although he got publicly cucked by two wives later on

>>21328160
my diary desu

>>21328172
Cringe, traumas, regrets, nearly all from 10+ years ago

>>21328139
What does the smiley with the water drop over its eye mean when girl uses it?

>>21328139
Oh. Perfect OP for the break of NNN.
You'll jack it to anything at this point

>>21328173
But that was after he was already a succesful leader, was he not? A man can't be great at everything. I think that's different than just kind of general failure/mediocrity, but especially in one's career. I didn't know about the play, but I did know he planned to write a novel.

>>21328186
I'm in a similar space. Are you struggling to overcome it? There are a few things in particular that I'm really having a hard time with.

>>21328160
worried about your future, anon? me too. it seems like everyone great really caught their most devastating Ls after they were famous.

>>21328224
she wants the big D

>>21328257
nah no way she hasnt shown romantic interest
its something else

>>21328251
I guess so. On paper, I would probably appear moderately successful to most people, but I wasn't when I was younger, and I'm not satisfied with it now. I sometimes feel the past doesn't lend itself well to the future even though another part of me is always convinced of potential.

>>21328245
Meh, I just make a point to stay occupied during the day and attempt to pay little attention to dreaming, it's chimp brain recycling garbage and some of the debris won't go away.

>>21328278
Yeah, I'm constantly worried about the shit.

>>21328269
>nah no way she hasnt shown romantic interest
what do you think this is, son? a bronte novel?

give. her. it.

>>21328172
I don't remember them

>>21328283
I very much doubt this anon!!

>>21328285
like dont remember dont remember or there was something but never seem to remember?

>>21327356
>I don't know what the punishment is for that but geez
Pretty sure they just tell you to turn them on. If you smell drunk or high or you dont have a license, then it escalates.

>>21328172
Mine can be especially vivid, for instance this morning I had one, this was a first, where some young lad was pushed off a rock cliff by one of his m8s and fell about 80 feet and was convulsing there.
Oddest part was the lack of empathy I had for it. I guess I should stop watching avoid gory webms from now on.

>>21328139
My faggot friends (5) didn't invite us (2) to a bar last night. We found out by an audio message in which one of the gals invited us to a party next week. I'm actually upset. I'm afraid to speak my mind even in a place like this because I feel like I will be punished.
True thing is, (ESL) I despise they didn't invite us over because we make the group feel alive and also that party is a trap in which the gals will get disgustingly drunk and I feel they want to use us (the guys) as a means of transportation thus making their lives even easier carrying them around on the pretense of friendship. The thing that upsets me the most is actually feeling that I'm going to lose something important If I don't hang around them and that I sometimes feel that I, myself and my proposals to hang around and a have a good time are enough. That's what's on my mind.

>>21328139
Sink is clogged. Upstairs apartment's literal shit (small chunks, not logs - thank God) and used toilet paper is bubbling up from the drain. Kitchen smells like piss and poo. Absolutely disgusting.

>>21328414
Christ, I'd break down in tears in such situation

>>21328414
IMAGINE not renting from top floor, jesus Christ I'm glad I'm top floor

Pls support my effort here >>>/wsr/1286453 to get an /art/ and /rad/(io & podcasts) board.
I sent in my request but hiroshimoot is taking way too fucking long.
Please send in the same requests here https://www.4channel.org/feedback under board suggestions.
The more people asking for the same thing, the better.

>>21328488
sent :)

>>21328160
Frederick the Great by Thomas Carlyle. I recently read it for my secret irl /lit/ bookclub. It's quite the personal journey. Carlyles approach was famously that the history of the world is the history of great men (heroes). It's nothing like modern biographies. His goal for all writing was to edify and galvanzie his readers and to present the exemplar of the "heroes" he studied as inspirations. Frederick is especially well suited for this approach as he was down on his luck at countless times in his life (both as a youngling and as King) yet persevered through it all imperturbably dutifull and at all times left nothing in his power undone to better his chances and give Prussia life. Especially in the Seven Years War. I was exceedingly impressed how he persisted in exerting himself to the utmost even when he had confessed to his closest confidants that he no longer had any hope for victory. They were a different breed of men back then.

So with regard to your question I'm confident there's no book more fitting to what you have described. But be sure to find an abridged version, the original is multiple volumes and way too long. I have an "antique" German copy (1929, hard times for us) made for common folk, about 700 pages.

Also a "fun" fact about the book (not why you should read it tho) is that Goebbles read the passages covering the darkest days of the Seven Years War to Hitler in the bunker, two weeks before he anheroed, and it moved him to tears. That episode unfortunately soiled Carlyles reputation in Germany permanently. He was the most popular english author here before the war. I only mention it to show that it cotains some really powerful stuff.

>>21328500
> made for common folk .. 700 pages

past is a different country huh

I think that mathematical intelligence has a positive correlation with manliness.
First of all men are obviously way better at math than women.
But not only that, but also masculine men generally seem to be better at math than feminine men.
Guys who are bad at math in my experience tend to be on the wimpy pansy side of the manliness spectrum. Guys who are good at math tend to be on the more masculine side.
Perhaps testosterone increases mathematical IQ.
Your thoughts?

>>21328500
Frederick was the son of a king, was he not? I'm thinking more along the lines of Vladimir Putin, who, after the collapse of the Soviet Union, drove a taxi cab for a while.

>>21328499 (checked)
Based! I can feel it. These board is going to be based.
This is the message I sent them. What do you think.

>Subject: I AM A GENIUS, LISTEN TO ME
>As per my post here >>1286453
>We need the following boards:
>/art/ — for worksafe art; nudes ought to be okay (obviously) but there has to be a ban on porn (this is a blue board); oc should be allowed but this board is intended to be the art equivalent of /lit/ or /mu/; and finally, there ought to be a ban on anime and cartoons on this board (there are enough anime and porn boards, this board >should be for traditional art in distinction to /co/ and /a/).
>/rad/ — Radio & Podcasts (you might also call this /pod/)
>(You) are welcome.

>>21328537
can confirm. am huge non-homosexual fag into fiction, poetry, essays etc and completely shit at math (which i of course dismiss as bugpeople stuff)

>>21328500
The Nazis also said that Carlyle was the first National Socialist, so that didn't help his reputation in Britain.

>>21328537
yes, yes. nothing closer to the masculine ideal as savant autist.

>>21328282
Like what specifically?

>>21328537
>Guys who are bad at math in my experience tend to be on the wimpy pansy side of the manliness spectrum. Guys who are good at math tend to be on the more masculine side.
Okay, sorry, but this is pure cope. Although, I did hear that autism might be due to too much testosterone while baking in the womb (which is why there aren't as many autistic females), still, you must admit that mathematics necessarily calls to the kind of person that ignores women and even their own bodies to pursue a rigid truth. There aren't too many muscle-bound mathematicians out there (although, I am sure that there are probably more than there used to be for whatever reason).

>>21328565
>pursue a rigid truth.
This is spiritually and intellectually masculine.

I love to read MTL chink novels, yet I also love to read classic books like Moby Dick or the works of Shakespeare.

How do I keep my English from deteriorating as I read my sweet, sweet Chink eye-poison?

>>21328569
Like I said, that is possible but their bodies likely don't reflect that fact. In fact, their personalities could easily be seething, thin-skinned, and prudish like Newton's famously could be (and Leibnitz actually; the early modern mathematicians could be sort of jealous and vain sometimes). Not especially masculine in my opinion, although I'm sure that Newton had awesome resolve and other masculine qualities in other ways, I don't doubt that---it's just the kind of framing you're trying to use is ridiculously simplistic.
The warrior-mathematician barely exists and most people are one or the other---including the best warriors and the best mathematicians before you go ahead and post that meme quote about scholar-warriors and what will happen if a civilization lets it's thinking be done by weaklings and so on.

>want to write stories
>remember I'm a sheltered manchild
>write anyway
>someone told me my characters were realistic
lol
lmao, even

>>21328500
>Translation
>Abridged
Fuck off. If you can the original then just read the original.

>>21328562
don't wanna talk about it but basically everyone online hates me and since my projects have been bedtested in those communities and I don't wanna change their names, I can't quite hide my identity and don't even want to. like I'm just gonna do it and see what happens

>>21328139
Joe Hill (King's son) looks like Stephen King wearing a shitty wig and an even worse fake beard. Good Christ.

>>21328656
holy shit, I can see it.

>>21328172
Tedious and uninteresting with some elements of impending doom and disgust. Mostly I don't remember them. Once in some time I have a really nice dream but those are the worst.

>>21328650
can you come up with a new identity?

>>21328691
>I have a really nice dream but those are the worst.
how so?

>>21328714
nope. no ideas for names. did a new identity earlier this year and was really enjoying him until he bought someone a 100 dollar gift like a retard and got shrugged off. now I don't fuck with him in the same way I used to.

>>21328714
also whats the point if i just publish shit with the same name? i think I'll just publish then kill myself like my dad when I'm out of ideas for content.

>>21328139
I've spent the last two days holding the tears back and the only place where I can talk about it is this shithole where the most well-meaning people just don't care instead of encouraging you to kill yourself. If you fall behind in life you're just discarded. There's no coming back, there are too many people. And probably I don't even want to recover, I don't want anything this world has to offer me. I'd just survive while swallowing the pain back day after day.
I don't know how long I'm going to hold on but I think I've run out of steam for good. It's been a long ride and I hated most of it, and I've been dragging along for years and years just because I had something left in me, but I knew I was already done back then. I've just delayed the day.

>>21328722
I think the things you do online, tend not to change your IRL reputation so much so I wouldn't worry about it too much

>>21328735
it's a temporary bump in your life and I think you're doing great.

>>21328735
I think it depends how you define falling behind. For example, people start businesses when their middle-aged and become rich. So if you define falling behind as falling behind financially, you can always catch up and get ahead. Without more specifics, it's hard to say.

>>21328747
Hopefully. I hate being a hated cretin on line because I feel like the person I am IRL is the real me, and I'm a pretty laidback guy. I wore a mask of arrogance/unpleasantness to retaliate against being bullied/disrespected but that's a stupid thing to do.

>>21328754
I've had at least one thought about suicide every day for the past 10 years at least. My life isn't fixable. I've dropped out of college and done nothing for years and years, a literal hikikomori, and I would have made the same choices if I went back because I hate modern life and taking part to all this bullshit makes me suffer even more. But I can't go on like this forever. I'm over 30 and all the doors are locked and all the ships have sailed. And even if it were possible to reinsert myself I still wouldn't because I cannot suffer this life. I've always hated life. Everything that was promised to me turned out to be a joke or a trap. I don't want to exist just to work in a warehouse and go home to sleep. I was already dead 10 years ago, maybe even before when I knew I would've hated to live this kind of life. It's impossible to escape it.

>>21328488 (checked)
>>21328499 (checked)
>>21328543
Based idea. It has my full support

Young man here, today I will probably begin prostituting myself today, and probably for pathetic fees. Made an account in an adequate website. I can't afford anything. I very rarely buy things that aren't bread. I put all there is to sell on sale. Would rather kill myself than beg old friends for money. I'm not spiritual but I think I will die spiritually if I start with this business. I wish I had someone to talk to.

>>21328139
I CAN'T FIND MY CHILI FLAKES

>>21328488
>worksafe art
nobody would use it and it would be infested with twitter bait as every other "culture" board
maybe 10 years ago but I gave up on this site

>>21328813
why did you say today twice? are you going for a twink kinda prostitute thing or a bull

>>21328813
The /lit/ lifestyle, you'll gain plenty of experience you can turn into writing later on. Cheer up. One of my favorite horror authors, Clive Barker (creator of Hellraiser franchise) used to be cheap drug-addicted twink whore in his youth.

>>21328789
Nigga chill out fr fr.

>kanye west goes on infowars
>says everyone brings something to the table especially hitler
lmao this timeline is insane

>>21328789
Why are you depressed about missing out on life you never wanted to in the first place? Just find some passion or creative output to pursue and make it the focal point of your life, then get some minimum effort dead end job just to cover minimum expenses. Plenty of authors or artists in general lived like that. Your disgust towards modern corporate buggery is an advantage if you're willing to tilt the perspective.

>>21328789
If you really detach from it, do you really think your having been a NEET is as damning as you feel it is? If you really hated modern life, why would you have such a modern attitude about work and leisure?

>>21328891
I'm not a NEET, have never been a NEET, but this is sort of the attitude I have towards NEETs as well. When you talk to them, it's usually not the fact that they don't work, don't study, and don't train that they feel bad about. They feel bad because they don't do much of anything besides games and porn. That is bad, but leisure is not bad. The ability to be a NEET in the first place is something pre-modern people would've found desirable. I realize it's easier said than done, but isn't the trick then to not hate your leisure, but to just use your leisure for something you find worthwhile, like art as you said.

>>21328891
>make it the focal point of your life
I did for years. It doesn't work. People are not made for this. It's a biological thing. Nobody is made to live like this.
I'm not depressed because I'm missing out. I'm depressed because there's no way I could have had what I wanted. It's something that doesn't exist anymore, and perhaps never existed.

>>21328905
Absolutely, it's a blessing as long as the NEET maintains ambition and discipline to do something creative, whatver that may be.

I hate work. I hate dealing with people. Wish I could become a neet.

>>21327450
>You misunderstand the appeal. Even if God made a she-God to be less lonely, in this hypothesis where he controls everything so that "bad things don't happen", he would still be controling the she-God, it would still be just a theater (or puppet show), with God performing and God spectating.

So, god is NOT all powerful.

>>21328925
>It's a biological thing. Nobody is made to live like this
Autists and schizoids are, they thrive in solitude if they have goals to occupy themselves with. If you need human company and socialization to function, turning 30 doesn't mean you can't go back out there anymore.

im afraid to go to sleep
i dont want to dream
who was there in the operating room who was there who were they

>>21328905
I've drawn for these 10 years and wanted to be a professional artist. I still draw occasionally but it's gone. I don't play videogames or consume shit, I don't like idling. I wanted to work on things that were meaningful to me. But the truth is that for all these years I've chased this idea of giving myself a purpose when I really needed companionship. I needed someone besides me but I've avoided people for so long because of things that happened in the past. I lost my ability to make bonds with anyone because I cannot trust anyone. Sometimes I dream of taking a plane to somewhere completely different and start over in a completely different context. It's all I think about, but I know it's not feasible. You can't just take a plane and start over at my age. You can do it earlier maybe, not now. I don't have any skills and I'm too old to be valuable enough to be taught. I'm just dead weight. I'd go someplace to be dead weight and I'd be worse than I am right now. At least I belong to the place where I live, this useless shithole.

>>21328854
Twink for sure. Actually I will endure just about everything, I'm just really afraid of STDs, soul-death an blackmail. If the latter occurs, in my society, I might as well kill myself. I feel as though a greater force is laughing at me. As I was shaving my legs to better attract suitors, I cut myself. My career is already smeared in ridicule.
I said today twice because a lot is going through my brain. Otherwise I would not be begging for pity.
>>21328866
Thank you kindly.

>>21328959
My first question is why do you want to be a professional artist? What's wrong with just being an artist? I don't think you need to hate your leisure as much as you do. I think you just need to identify something worth pursuing and pursue it. That's all.

>>21328950
>turning 30 doesn't mean you can't go back out there anymore
I said I'm over 30. I'm 35. Every time I wanted to get back in the world and get a job I felt this unbearable dread. The last time I just had to excuse myself during training and go, and I walked for hours all the way back to the station and never showed up again. I just can't do it. I feel like I'm nothing. What I do has no meaning, it serves no purpose. If I died someone else would do it. This shit makes me feel like I have no inherent value while society keeps lying to me that I matter and I'm significant. What I tried to bring of my own to the table was completely ignored. The world wants me to be a burger flipper because people have more use for me as a burger flipper than whatever it is that I really want to do.
Maybe that's really all I'm worth. After all there are hundreds of thousands of people in the same spot and I'm not supposed to be there by accident. Those people have hopes and dreams and they just got eaten up. I don't want to live like this but it was written way, way long ago when things happened in my life.

bros, I think that alcoholism is getting a hold of me.

>>21328931
I don't even think it needs to be creative per se, only somehow worthwhile. I do think NEETs are in the perfect position to be bohemian poets and artists though.

>>21328991
Working means 2 hours commute + work + overtime + 2 hours commute back. You go home and crash on the bed and then wake up the next morning and do it again. They work you to the bone. You don't get to do things for leisure and even if you managed, what's the point? Your role in the world is doing the burger flipping shit. That's who you are. You're nothing. Before trying to do things online I wanted to do another more realistic job that would have brought me to travel but I found I had a chronic disease and I knew that life would've been impossible.

>>21328937
What sort of job do you have?

>>21329006
Then don't work. Nobody is telling you that you have to work. If you're a NEET, that probably means you don't have to work, and I don't think you have to hate that you don't have to work, and thus, you don't have to hate that you've been a NEET. I don't think NEETs should feel bad about being NEETs if they're not able to find dignified work. I just think it would be better to use your leisure time for something rather than nothing.

>>21328991
And then again, what of it? You work, you come back home, before collapsing you make "art" or whatever the fuck your hobby is, then you go to sleep and the next morning that's your life. You don't get to do anything. I will not date online. I don't want to go through all this robot shit. This isn't life. Everything is so dry and horrible, everything you get is a pale mockery of what it's supposed to be. It's terrible. You're just there to work and feed this system so that it can perpetuate, worse every year. Being alive in this age is evil, you're actively bringing evil into the world by praticipating

>>21329017
>I just think it would be better to use your leisure time for something
What's the point if that something doesn't fill the void? You people have this idea that if you're not just drifting through a passive hedonist existence your life will actually be satisfying. Even if you ignore that society treats you like a leper if you're a 30+ NEET you still have a void in you, it's just there, you're nothing, you have no role anywhere. People don't give a shit if you post art online, you're not doing anything meaningful by churning out shit instead of just playing videogames or jerking off. It's such a hollow thing I just don't understand how anyone can think there's any difference. Is it because you're "producing" something that it's better, ergo it should feel better? It actually feels worse. You're wasting your time making stuff that nobody needs or wants. If it's about stroking your own wants then why is it any different than jerking off? Actually living like a braindead hedonist does sort of numb the pain. It's more intelligent to jerk off all day than being a "productive" NEET who makes art or some shit.

>>21328994
>society keeps lying to me that I matter and I'm significant
Does it? The way I see it, society doesn't hide the fact that you're either playing along with the normie conformism or otherwise you're on your own (better have a plan in that case). There's no shame in accepting a dead end job, it's your pride - misplaced, if I may say so - making you walk away from basic trainings. Dropping your decade long pursuit of art seems like a particularly bad decision as well. I can perfectly relate to broken dreams and regrets, have no shortage of them myself, but I can accept the situation I'm in because normie lifestyle made me more miserable than anything else. You wouldn't get me into an office or into a relationship again at a gunpoint.
At 35 you probably aren't halfway through life, it's idiotic to give up. That being said, it's about time to decide what you want to do - because hoenstly, I don't quite follow your reasoning.

>>21328488
>>21328848
I think it's worth it. I occasionally get good recs here and a board for art would be cool I think.

>>21329035
The novelist Michel Houllebecq has an essay called To Stay Alive: A Method. I think you should read it. Obviously, I can't guarantee you'll find an answer in it, but I think contained within that essay is the sort of thing I'm trying to convey here.

Kanye West is wearing a gimp mask on the Alex Jones show right now

>>21329007
A shopkeeper, I guess? I work for my florist parents because I couldn't handle uni (my older sister did manage to graduate but she ended up here too).
On most days I just open up the shop, sit and wait for customers from 9 to 7 but even that seems to be too much for my neurodivergent ass. Also, it gets busy as fuck near/during valentine's, mother's day, Dia de Muertos, etc. which led me to instinctively cringe at those dates ever since I was a kid.

Too bad I hate coding and all that stuff so I can't get a remote code monke job.

>>21329098

>>21329104
Not that anon
Sounds comfy. I understand why you'd hate it though. Dealing with people is exhausting to me too. I was a bag shopkeeper and looking out for thieves is the worst part of the job. Being a florist and working in the back sounds comfy though.

>>21329061
I don't know what to do. I wish one of the women in my life didn't betray me. I function so much better if I have someone with me, it gives me a strength and that I just can't find elsewhere.
It's easy to shitpost about being a sigma fuck who doesn't care but I would've done so much if I had one woman who wasn't a traitorous snake. I've had bad luck, it was just bad luck because I live in a shithole filled with soulless garbage people. But I couldn't trust a woman enough to get close to her in more than a decade. I've given up on them. I've given up on people in general, but I need to belong somewhere. I just can't keep going by myself like a hermit, I'm not crazy enough to do it, I don't have enough self-determination to just enjoy life in a vacuum and I can't even believe that anyone would be able to.
How the fuck do I get what, 15 lost years back. How do I even explain all this time? Saying I've been to jail sounds better than any excuse I can think of. And all of this for a life that isn't even close to what I'd have liked to have. I'll just scrape the bottom. My brother says I should be thankful if I land a job at Amazon, stacking shit in a warehouse. The idea of just checking out sounds so much more appealing. No more of this bullshit, no more chasing impossible things that will never come. I just know it would destroy my family so I can't do it but I dream of doing it every day.
Sorry about ranting but I'm getting drunk. I bought booze to get wasted tonight.
>>21329081
/ic/ had been bitching for years to get a blue art board because current /ic/ is 99% porn. it's not gonna happen, especially since nobody gives a shit about art that isn't porn.
>>21329088
I'll read it but I doubt it will help. The only thing that almost got me out was a time when I tried to get into religion and believe in God, but I can't. I don't believe in God, I just wanted the community. But it would have been a fake relationship. I gave up on it.

>>21329104
What's so terrible about it though?

>>21328789
I sometimes think that these days to have never worked is in some way better than to have worked, but worked in the wrong things. It's almost better to have no record than an embarrassing one or shameful one.

>>21329167
That's just plain wrong, you get discarded immediately if you have a crater in your resume. Whatever you use as an explanation won't matter, they know you had some "trouble" either drugs or being mentally ill and they will just toss you away. I am 100% unemployable. Even if I got a job it would be a shit dead end job and I'd barely be able to survive with it.

>>21329147
Anon, I got absolutely cucked and ruined by my only long-term gf (nearly 4 years) as well. Instead of endlessly ruminating on her whorish betrayals, I've decided to stay volcel and turned down several women initiating stuff. Life will throw all kinds of shit at you, but there are countless options for adjustment and carving out a satisfactory life for yourself.

>>21329205
>I've decided to stay volcel and turned down several women initiating stuff.
I've done the same and it broke me. I can't live like this. I need love, man. It's not the sex, I know there are people who just hire hookers. I don't give a shit about sex. I need someone who believes in me, someone who matters in my life.

>>21329216
You can marry at 50 if that's what you really want in life, meaning you have 15 years to become a man worth marrying. There's no need to flagellate yourself with regrets when you could be considering hundreds different options for self-improvement and fulfillment instead.

>>21328959
Post a drawing, anon.

>>21328139
There was nobody really left to care once my ex of five years left me but I still worked my ass off in college. I don't know why I was so focused on securing something I thought was a 'good future' when I had and still have no one to share it with.

Let's take a good look at my life right now: I have precocious prostate cancer, a family I'm not close with, one real friend, and no one I'm attracted to. What is the point of earning good money If you have nothing to spend it on? What's the point of seeking companionship if I'm going to die early? I have, quite literally, nothing to look forward to. I just have a smudge of faith and events have shown it's not that big either. I've never had thoughts about how old lonely people had to deal with this shit on a daily basis until it also fell on me. I'm probably going to live the next few years in reclusion till the day I hit generalized cancer and probably die from a lung tumor or something else a bit more ugly.

The worst about all of this is that I'm not even angry. There's nothing to negotiate, nothing to do but accept that I've followed most of my ideals through life and it didn't lead me anywhere. Most of my future plans would have failed anyway. The only thing I regret is that I let her go and now that I have nothing, I can only cling to what's left of our memories. I miss her terribly.

>>21329236
>You can marry at 50
marry who? even 5 years ago all I could find were used up roasties and single moms looking for a provider. I didn't say I wanted anybody. I won't settle for anybody, I don't wanna be the desperate fuck who marries just so he won't be alone.
>>21329244
sorry I don't wanna attach a drawing to this shit rant.
when I do people tell me I should totally keep going and all that shit.

>>21329186
I think if you're thinking in terms of what makes a good resume, you're just playing the wrong game. And besides, if you have the means to have a huge gap at all, you probably don't need a resume in the first place.

Gottlob Frege, who is widely considered the greatest philosopher of mathematics, also was anti-semitic, anti-catholic, and anti-french.

>>21329330
>anti-catholic
anti-catholic specifically or anti-christian in general?

>>21329136
>Being a florist and working in the back sounds comfy though.
It kinda is, until it isn't. I have done fuck all today, but on the week leading to mother's day, we have to work 14 hrs every day.
>>21329164
Talking to people drains my soul. I literally had people ask "do you have flowers?" before, and when I ask them to be more specific they just go "dunno, pretty ones".
Also, I think I resent florists/flowers to some degree. I was gonna talk about that with my therapist before covid happened.

>>21329337
anti-catholic specifically of course

This sets the dissident right back at least 10 years. It's all fucked. We'll never be taken seriously. Any gains we realized in recent years just got obliterated.

>>21329341
>I literally had people ask "do you have flowers?" before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1JWzyvv8A

>>21329342
What?

>>21329356
Corporate media has no memory and thrives on week-to-week outrage. This will be forgotten almost immediately.

I'm sad because my girlfriend is uglier than other girls. I know this shouldn't matter and that sex is just meaningless but it's just frustrating when I see sexy women in the street and my gf isn't that pretty. On the other hand my gf has a good character, she's a virgin and wants to get married and have children and she accepts me despite my schizoid personality and other mental disorders so I owe her loyalty. I just wish I could get rid of all of my sexual urges.

>>21329526
>I know this shouldn't matter and that sex is just meaningless
The fuck? Women don't have to be beautiful now?

>>21329526
PLEASE don't fuck up and keep her. Is there anything fixable about her? Is she fat, out of tone? Girls can easily get a lot sexier with a little work. If you find a way to tell her she can really change a lot.

If you cultivate your creativity enough by seeking creative experiences and self-creativity, it can reach a critical mass where it becomes your perception of the world and experiencing life itself feels like divine poetry. It's a highly advanced state of "flow," continuous effortless adaptation with one's environment. It is to be in love with life and the world.

It's not about whether or not you reach a moment of profound despair. It's how quickly you capitalize on it and course correct. Whatever you do, don't linger.

>>21329586
>it can reach a critical mass where it becomes your perception of the world and experiencing life itself feels like divine poetry
for me it was that I stopped caring about reality and I lived in my own autistic fantasy world
it really depends if the reality you live in is shit
when I see trees and nature my mind starts working again, but on the streets I retreat into my thoughts

Guilt, heaven sends you.
You take me by the hand for all men I love.
Some will fit like a glove, some will stick like glue.
One will proceed to lie to you.

Guilt, heaven sends you.
Angels will drag you down, his burden sounds.
He will stay with your friends, no it will not end.
Everywhere I go, I will blame myself.

Guilt, heaven sends you.
I don't know why it was me, who had to find out.
Now I'm stuck to see, all alone in my drought.
This is irresponsibility... a fragile structure I built.
All friends will go to hell, while I will float in guilt.

(1/2)

>>21329586
I think Henry James said something like this in The Art of Fiction.

>>21329602

Pray for the end of things, this state of despair.
Worrying about people who are no longer there.
Those inflicted wounds, your brain makes up problems...
For you to solve, you sit there alone, nothing to do.

Pray for the end of things, he's in the other room.
All the attention, thought it would crumble soon.
There to trust, their trust of mine erodes.
I see the mist ahead, moral guilt forebodes.

Pray for the end of things, my mistakes, I admit it.
There goes my creativity, turned black like mittens.
I deserve it in a way, he follows me around...
In the one place nobody looks...

(2/2)

>>21329571
Sex is meaningless because it's a momentary frenzy that comes upon you and transforms your whole personality in such a way that your only aim and only purpose for existing is to make some sticky sloshy slushy fluid come out of your penis. Once this happens the whole frenzy disappears and you just think "why did I do that?" as you sit there with gluey cum everywhere feeling ashamed, sweaty and dirty and befuddled. I don't even see horny-me as an extension of myself, it's just some foreign entity that comes to possess me sometimes and leaves once I ejaculate. If I could choose, I would only have sex for procreation.
>>21329573
>Is there anything fixable about her? Is she fat, out of tone?
No she's really skinny, so skinny her ribcage is visible and her tits and bum are small, her arms are extremely thin, her nose is quite big and her face is long and boyish. She doesn't like to wear makeup much because she says it's bad for your skin and her choice of clothes isn't very appealing.

>>21329627
>she's really skinny, so skinny her ribcage is visible and her tits and bum are small, her arms are extremely thin, her nose is quite big and her face is long and boyish
Man, I don't know what to say, that's exactly my type. Are you sure you're not just looking at her the right way? There's beauty in what you described. I enjoy skinny girls because they feel so fragile and I want to protect them and pale thin girls are hot as hell. Her choice of makeup and dress is quite a big deal in how sexy she looks, but I honestly have no idea how you should tell her to change that. I don't know her character. I've always had very straightforward girls that I could speak quite directly to. I don't know if your girl would be offended. But if she loves you, there's surely a way, like hinting that she'd look very sexy with certain clothes on.

>>21329627
>Sex is meaningless because it's a momentary frenzy that comes upon you and transforms [...]
You need to be over 18 to post here

>>21328139
I wish I became an ornithologist.
It's a weird feeling to have your passions dramatically in life; it changes your fundamental core being or exposes how it never had "compactness" to begin with.

>>21329748
I know what you mean. But generally when you have this kind of change of heart it's a true passion. If you change things right now it can pay off.

WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER

I I I

WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT

>>21328172
I don't dream

Maintaining proper body temperature is extremely important for efficient activity. Heat and cold will hinder you if not regularly managed. Food cravings will properly align with an effective diet assuming you are not mentally ill. It is valuable to try new foods if you feel something is wrong. Sleep functions in cycles, and when you are not quite tired enough to start another cycle at night, you will be slightly tired during the afternoon. Movement is very important, so there should be no shame in walking around. If you have the energy to move, make use of it.

>>21329794
Why not?

>>21329330
what leads a men to wanting to suck dead cock?

>>21328139
I stopped being an incel and became volcel.
Turned down sex with one of my students (adult learner) because she's married and I could get fired for not "maintaining professional boundaries" if word got out about it.
God better give me a perfect trad waifu for this one.

>>21329838
>It is valuable to try new foods if you feel something is wrong.
It's funny that this is basic knowledge outside of the first world, and having been raised by an immigrant mother it's shocking to me how many Americans have completely dysfunctional diets. They eat food completely at random and most of them have never changed their diets. Damn, I miss the old country because the kitchen is the center of the household, and most meals have a healthy variety of ingredients. Also, until recently a lot of people didn't have refrigerators so they had to only keep fresh food on hand.

Also, I know in many countries it's customary to talk long walks after dinner. They have a lot of folk knowledge about digestion and food-as-medicine.

A few years back I decided to pursue something, but now I just feel frustrated with it.

>>21329944
Post nose

>>21329944
>i cant stop thinking about sucking cock and project it into every situation
seems gay to me

>>21329304
NTA, but a good resume is the only game in town. There is no Hollywood boomer fantasy scenario where you steam in and wow them with your confidence while waving the employment history of a person that might as well have died or suffered a deeply traumatic, paralyzing body/brain injury a decade ago.

Why do you write, anon?

>>21329356

It astounds me how repulse /lit/ is when it comes to anons trying to discuss books.

>>21328735
Is this you?
>>21328017

>>21329330
germans
nothing changes

>>21330118
It's tough. Even if you get past all the /pol/troons, there's still about a dozen dudes of the Smartest Guy in the Room variety who just hurl insults back and forth over received opinions or insignificant details.

This Kanye/Fuentes on Alex Jones shit is hilarious

>ban that guy and humiliate him, put him on a no fly list
>ban that guy and ruin his life, humiliate him, take away all his money, threaten to drug him and take his kids
>ban that guy and fine him a trillion gorillion dollars, humiliate him
>wait why are all three of these guys talking and saying whatever the fuck they want

>>21328412
Its so much easier to just not have friends

>>21328412
Your conception of "friend" seems unhealthy.

>>21330231
Alex Jones is still a gatekeeper and gets visibly uncomfortable with the jew talk

>>21329356
>>21330231
The dissident right is basically just a rough amalgam of contrarian voices that are only loosely aligned with each other. As a result they lack a real consistent intellectual leadership and any idiot like Jones can become a representative of the movement. The fact that Alex Jones, whose show basically consists of reading newspaper headlines and going on long conjectural rants, is considered a “leading voice” in this community is a testament to its intellectual poverty.

I know no greater loneliness than the silent dark of a nocturnal blackout in my forest loft. My heater shuts off. The nightly pacification of the internet gone. My enveloping cocoon of white noise spits me, amniotic and premature into the stark reality of cold quiet. No distractions. Just me, alone in my room. Naturally, for those privileged with the intimate companionship of a partner, the empty electrical socket in their psyches needn’t be lamented for long. There are more primal indulgences to be attended. And that might be the worst part. I’m so sick of having to listen to my roommates fuck loudly through the walls. Sometimes I think they wait for just such occasions. No white noise. No distractions. Not even a microwave for popcorn. Yes, I'm bitter. Yes, I'm lonely. Yes, I should probably pick up some earplugs.

>>21330291
He's just not very antisemitic. I'm highly antisemitic by any normie's standards, and even I'm closer to Jones' views than to Kanye's. He was saying shit like "I agree there's a Jewish mafia," everybody on the show was. This is re-mainstreaming perfectly reasonable discourse on Jewish influence.

>>21330295
It's good that they're decentralized for now, and understandable that they have no outstanding thought-leaders right now, because they've been treated as thought-criminals in their own countries for decades. The fact that these ideas are germinating and spreading despite systematic suppression is hilarious.

>>21328172
slugs, rats, anger, violence, ghosts/poltergeists, university/school, failure, decay, war, rabbits. 200 dreams written down and every one is awful.

>>21330291
He’s not a “gatekeeper” conspiracy retard it’s just that he genuinely doesn’t believe in the “Jews control everything” narrative. Probably because Jones studied people like the Rockefellers and Gates Family, he knows there are plenty of non-Jew elites.

>>21328172
I have recurring nightmares about my computer becoming infected with ransomware

>>21330320
It’s not good it’s extremely dangerous to have movements like these growing with no sane intelligentsia to curb excesses and lead it in the right direction.

>>21328139
the only interesting thoughts i have are the kind i'd never share with anybody except anonymously.
i sit around pretending one day i'm going to write a nice, cheerful set of stories, but any attempt i make inevitably comes across as fundamentally wrong to me, and would come across equally badly to a reader if they weren't mercifully put off by boredom before getting far enough to notice. no, it doesn't work - i can't write nice things because i'm not a nice or cheerful person and i'm certainly not a good pretender. i'm the most boring kind of miserable failure and i'm oh-so reflective about it.
a better person could probably spin that into a good little story of tragedy and depression, but i don't want to write that and i certainly don't want to show it to others. the last thing i need is to publicly present myself as the sad ogre that i am. i want to do create something nice. i want to pretend to be nice until it comes as naturally to me as living as a miserable, bored hermit does currently. i want to wake up one day and realize that this has all been a bad dream, and that in-fact i have been nice all along.

>>21330365
>e-rightoids
>sane intelligentsia

I'm not convinced that I've ever been in love.
I am convinced that I've never been loved.

just got off of a hardcore multiple day gooning sessiond, feeling bad, but listening to some good albums is helping to clear up my mind. nothing like good music to help connect you to your humanity, it really is the ultimate form of art

I've become jaded and apathetic. I can barely hide it. I'm too apathetic to try to change it.

>>21328172
Imagine the mundanity of reality transcribed into sporadic flashes of imagery with minor alterations in a placid, disassociated manner

>>21330291
Who?

>>21329147
>/ic/ had been bitching for years to get a blue art board because current /ic/ is 99% porn. it's not gonna happen, especially since nobody gives a shit about art that isn't porn.
That's a good idea, I should post it on /ic/ too. Thanks anon.

>>21330527
What?

>>21328172
PTSD nightmares or bizarre scenarios that don't make sense whatsoever.
Usually stuff where I'm getting killed or someone is getting fucked up, shot, etc. Especially involving my dead father or the fact that he is somehow alive again, out of a coma (he was never in one) or returning. 4 years of this and I can't help but think it'll be the rest of my life.
As for odd situations: weird social ones. Like being with my friends but one of them is suddenly a black female, and everyone acts like it was normal. No, I don't want to fuck my friend or a black female. Or some other stuff like being unable to graduate high school, failing exams, missing credits even though it was never remotely something I had to worry about in reality. Or going to school and being embarrassed because I somehow got all the way there with no pants on. I really don't struggle to interpret it, I just figure I'm a burnt out, jaded, and kind of fucked up mess.

>>21328172
Either mundane with bizzare elements, or completely off the rails crazy and borderline indescribable.
Often they will involve someone/something trying to kill me. Zombies are usually the 'funnest' ones because, for example, I killed a zombie by jamming a pair of scissors in its throat then opened the scissors, decapitating the zombie. Good fun.
>>21328717
Because you have to wake up to the realization that it wasn't real and your actual life is your real life.
I'm in agreement. I've had horribly gruesome and terrifying dreams, but the worst are the 'happy' ones, by far.

>>21328139
>Wish I had the intellectual abilities to have studied medicine and been on the career path to be a Doctor. Feel useless with my humanities skills and that I should learn practical skills in STEM
>my friend studying medicine wishes he had time to study humanities and explore philosophy because he says he feels like "an incomplete man" without them
Is this it bros? Are we just doomed to regret the paths we commit to, unable to go back and become multirole experts? I want to study medicine, I want to study law, I want to discuss philosophy but I also want to study DNA and molecular biology. But there is never enough time...

>>21328891
Not that anon but similar
i still want to get out of my rotten town and go to other countries
Seems impossible without a successful career

>>21329104
I know coding you always have to talk to your faggy peers otherwise they weed you out for poor communication same in interviews

receiving compliments from strangers feels better

My lower back started to severely hurt after my squats this morning (I was doing 80kg). Once I recover, I'm going to cross out squats from my exercise routine. It's not worth crippling oneself.

>>21330814
>Is this it bros? Are we just doomed to regret the paths we commit to,
Yes. Literally that simple

>>21330952
I can barely walk now. Thank God I don't have to go to school tomorrow.

>>21330919
No. From anyone. Maybe you just don’t believe your mom’s compliments.

>>21330348
>Jews control everything
You dont even have to subscribe to that to say Jews have disproportionate influence or act as nepotstic in group. Alex Jones is the guy who tells you Muslims and Chinese run hollywood. He calls himself a zionist shill. You're a fucking retard.

>>21330919
>>21330963
receiving compliment from anyone feels bad to me
like im deceiving them

>>21330152
No, it's not me.
If any 3 letter agencies are looking at me: please help me. I am harmless. You know who I am. I can be useful. Just give me a life. Please help me. If you know the thing I said, it;s not serious. It's only semi-serious. I dislike the world. I'm not a bad person. Just let me do something,

>>21330919
>>21330963
>>21330972
Compliments usually don't affect me much, but once there was a girl I really liked who complimented me a few times and I was about melt from extreme embarrassment and happiness combined. Somehow I still managed to be nonchalant.

I'm drunk.
I am only posting this due to the very slim chance that she'll be browsing 4chan out of boredom and end up in this thread.
There's this woman that I feel as if I've been in love with ever since we first spoke but she could never tell and probably never will, I'm a fool for many reasons, but I'm not the kind of fool that would dare tell her, but I've always wanted her.
More like need her at this point for reasons that would seem mad.
Quite funny to post this on here, but you see I have no one else that I can share this with.
I would give her the world if only she would let me, more than that actually and if they were in reach I would kill anybody in my way.
I fear as she does not see me in that way even if for just a bit, I know for a fact that she doesn't as I am not her type in any way even though to I the thought of us as lovers makes all of the sense in the world simply given an ever growing bible of things.
I am on /lit/ and I feel like those pitiful writers that have had women they admired but never could quite grasp and I absolutely loath that.
She walks all over my heart without even know that she's doing it, and I hate it.
Like everything else though, she'll never see this.

>>21331073
Just fucking tell her and then move on retard. You apes always do this shit to yourselves for no reason, you will feel infinitely more satisfied when you have a woman that wants to give those things to you and dedicates herself every day to it.

>looking for a text written in the 1300s in a foreign language that I want to read because it was mentioned in a collection of essays i read
>language doesn't transliterate to english characters well
>2 versions by 2 different authors apparently exist
>multiple versions of english translation of the title
>only finding mentions of it in secondary texts, can't get my hands on the translation of the actual manuscript
>one page mentions it in context with volume XI of [x] studies collection published in the late 1800s
>ebook of it is $108 USD
>manage to pirate a copy, scan index, work i'm looking for isn't even in it
>back to google
>hit library of congress on a match, get excited-- until i see it's a literal scan of the manuscript original, IE foreign language
>rage
>clicking around more, get word of an english translation existing
>google the professor who did the translation
>FINALLY AFTER 2 HOURS OF SEARCHING GET MY HANDS ON A PDF OF THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION

i wish i could find fulfillment in mass market novels like the rest of humanity. i'm too tired and irritated to even read it now.

Ray Peat died

>>21331080
No, I really I can't.

>>21330814
>but I also want to study DNA and molecular biology
LMFAO already went through that path for you: employment rates are ridiculous and I don't know of anyone of my generation who tried to pursue a career in that field and found a high level stable job in the process. It's an interesting but deadend field. Only immunologists (molecular biologists are beggars) find jobs and even that I'm not sure of.

>>21331162
Then wallow forever dumbass.

>>21330080
>NTA, but a good resume is the only game in town
Feel like the only way to get a good job these days is just to make up a bunch of bullshit on your resume.
There's no way average people can compete with the people who've been training and accumulating shit to put on their resume since they hopped out the womb

I'm not meant to be loved by women. I'm meant to shitpost on 4chan, read dusty old books by dead authors, and imagine that I'll some day write a great novel until my dying day instead. Women make me suicidally depressed, but coming here relaxes me.

>>21331132
>Not enjoying the hunt

>>21331255
Same bro, I asked out a girl yesterday and it was super awkward. I'm just not gonna try

>>21328160
I wish there was a low effort reading list that somehow gives a brain boost and emotional nourishment to the reader like a long run where you zone out but overall it just treats you well and you zombie read through it habitually.

HEY I'M DOING THAT RIGHT NOW!
Thanks, guys.

>>21328172
Alternate timelines where funky stuff happens. The last dream I remember I was walking around town and talked with my ex. Another dream I was walking in sewers along with some guy who made the funniest jokes I'd ever heard (can't remember any of course), people came by sometimes to interact with us and a team of cameraman followed like we were making some kind of skit. One dream I remember very vividly, but it was years ago, was of my ex getting killed because she invented a cheap alternative to oil for energy production.

>>21330087
to feel like i am talking to someone who isn't a goddamn normie

>>21329330
>>21330155
thanks Anons, you gave me a good stellar thing to focus on.

Do girls who look like this >>21328173 like guys who look like this >>21328139?

Just curious.

Who’s your favorite anon?

>>21329356
Ye didn't do it for the normal faggots. Nothing would wake them up, if they wake up they do nothing, if they don't they do nothing.
Ye didn't for (You).
(Ye)
came out as an Anon because that is what he wants to show to the world,
Anons.

My best friends don't call my by my name. They call me Anon.
It's our N Word.
He isn't red like my mask or my friend's green morphsuit.
He's black Anon.
I really appreciate it, friends.

I want to be recognized more for my intellect than for my big fake tits

>>21331316
Kanye West on Alex Jones

>>21328172
either repressed trauma that I would very much not enjoy unraveling, incredibly mundane rearrangements of the day's events, or rarely, fun dreams in which I fly/slide around/run really fast/float, also rarely premonitory dreams but for the most useless things

Ye, do you lurk here?

>>21331279
Asking women out is easy if not kind of fun to me, it's what comes next that's discouraging. Every woman is eventually disappointed in me because I'm simply a pathetic man. Love has does nothing but remind me of how much of a failure I am. It has never made my life better.

>>21331332
Same. Getting girls is easy. But I can’t getem to stay. I’m bad in the sack.

>>21331329
Yes. I'm wearing my gimp mask rn

>>21331340
We're probably meant to "date down" or much further down than we already are, but that doesn't make it any better in my mind. I'll just constantly be thinking while in such a relationship that I had to settle for someone pathetic because I'm pathetic. I'd rather live alone and die as I lived.

>>21331329
no

cant wait till trump loses in 2024 and kanye commits sudoku after coming down from a bipolar mania high.

the 2010s will truly be over then

>>21328139
If I see one more fucking tiny, weak, fat woman drag her giant slobbering mutt shitbull rotweiller dog into an enclosed public space I'm going to snap. They have absolutely ZERO control over those things, and probably keep them enclosed in a tiny shithole apartmennt for 23 hours where they're free to grow more and more rabid with every hour that passes. These dogs are on such a hair trigger that anything could set them off: A wrong gesture and Precious has already jumped over the Starbucks counter to maul to death a baby or elderly person while Becky goes OhMigod OhMigod Stahp in the background, powerless to stop her killing machine. It's bad enough to encounter this ensemble outside, but indoors it's a nightmare.

Can someone tell me how to just get out of my own head? I'm thinking too much. I have this psychotic, sentimental lens on reality, and the banality of everyday life makes me feel besieged by some sort of omniscient, inscrutable tragedy. It all feels so sad, and I feel unable to just stop and notice what's going on in front of me, in the present moment.

>>21331642
>Can someone tell me how to just get out of my own head?
By not thinking.

When nothing and nobody feels at home anymore, you are truly alone. When nothing feels like your god anymore, you are truly alone. No thing you go to, no drug you go to to keep you here. You try and go to the next thing because you need it. You try typing about it, writing it somewhere online possibly to an online community or better yet tucked away into your private notes, virtual notes, the same frame or state you consume porn in, your energy spent, the time spent, it is your energy it is yourself, time is the most valuable currency. These ideas become worship. The thoughts themselves becomes the thing to worship. Between this God worship, it is all we can do, it is all we have or we have death. But don’t let that freak you out now, its just how it is. It becomes fine after a while. You seem to have more control over things. More to engage with in life, more to identify, perceive. Not a mere worship, this is our weapon, our center function, choice then becomes a bigger candidate. You have choice. So you’re fine don’t worry.

>>21328172
Last night I dreamt I was on my own and lost in a multistory hostel. Must have been in a foreign country as all the signs were in a language I couldn't decipher, and there were groups of men in the halls and on the stairs scrutinising and obviously saying shit about me as I tried and failed to find my room. Most of my dreams are similar: feelings of bewilderment and disconnection. I miss the trippy sci fi dreams of my childhood

>>21328139
I've been married to my wife for 10 years and have been with her since just after highschool. She's really hot, I love her, she loves me, she's a great mother and wife but I'm starting to feel like it might be an abusive relationship at the same time. Since I've known her she has isolated me from anyone I got close to outside of her and it still somewhat happens today. We have kids so I guess it's normal to not have any one else outside of her or our siblings and their spouses. But I don't know, maybe I'm looking too deeply into things?

To put it into context she bullied me relentlessly or took part in it throughout school. I came out of it no friends or self esteem then out of the blue, once hs was over she latched onto me. She was really nice then eventually fell in love. Even back then for a good amount of time I was always on edge thinking it was some prank with her friends but I went along with it because I didn't have anyone else. It was the best feeling in the world to just have someone as a friend and to talk too. She's the only friend and relationship I've had in my life. Makes me wonder why she ever chose me or did this to me. Or why she was ever even nice to me all of a sudden. I know she's aware she was extremely cruel to me too back then because she does this dumb thing every now and then she used to do just for a laugh.


Tbh I love her so much but at the same time I feel so guilty venting and thinking about her this way.

>>21331243
"Fake it 'til you make it" is the gospel of our age. And if bossman moans about it, tough shit – he built this monster.

>>21331854
>Since I've known her she has isolated me from anyone I got close to outside of her and it still somewhat happens today.
>I know she's aware she was extremely cruel to me too back then because she does this dumb thing every now and then she used to do just for a laugh.
Have you ever trying having a D I A L O G U E with her?

>>21331851
Do you feel lost in life?

>>21328139
Every person I know that is smarter than me thinks that I think they are stupid. This has happened like three times this year at least.

So my communication must suck?

At last, I understand. Man's true meaning is to suffer, to endure, for it is only in this he can appreciate the gift given to him. There is no pain without pleasure, no feeling of fullness without having felt hunger, no intense desire to breathe until one is choking. Thus, there are two paths: Accept what The Deliverer has done in redeeming the ultimate suffering and enter Heaven, or one must endure Hell to earn their own salvation.

This is why Hell must exist of course, so that one can appreciate Heaven. Even though The Deliverer has already offered Heaven for those willing to take it. Yes, yes, this justifies the inherent suffering built into the world...

>>21330814
Seems like you need to marry each other

>>21329104
why don't you go into a back room and design bouquets? help your parents, exercise creativity, and don't need to deal with people.

>>21328813
You have to be kidding....
You cant get a minimum wage job in a supermarket or corner store? A farmhand? Sweeping the streets?

I would rather try boring shit like that before selling my body.

>>21331976
Does the graph include women? It would make sense that the number goes down as the benches get higher because the amount of women that can lift that weight falls.

>>21329147
Hate that woman you mentioned. She deserves it. But dont let her rule your whole life.

Realize you are in a mental loop, like a programming bug, and you will have to force you to do something extraordinary to get out of it.

>>21329627
Easily fixable by bringing her to restaurants and ice cream shops regularly. Even the big nose and boyish face you mention are a function of her skinny face. They will change once she has fuller cheeks.

>>21331854
>>21331919
There is no way. He would mess up royally and the relationship would be over. Charisma 1

>>21329627
If you betray that girl I will reach through the intertubes and fucking strangle you with your own cock

The gross post-cooking feeling permeates my body as I listen to Red Scare in the dark as I type out this post. In the background of my subconscious is the awareness of how I’m a jumbled mess of bad decisions and unfortunate circumstance. I grapple with the wanting to take a shower but not having the will to. I wish Adam was here

>>21332254
>The gross post-cooking feeling permeates my body as I listen to Red Scare in the dark as I type out this post even as the background of my subconscious is the awareness of how I’m a jumbled mess of bad decisions and unfortunate circumstance as I grapple with the wanting to take a shower but not having the will to even as I wish Adam was here
ftfty

Don Quixote did literally nothing wrong.

I never imagined myself becoming a wizard but here we are. All the signs were present but I didnt see them on purpose.

>>21332307
It is not like fucking and cooming has some inherent value unless you procreate; Cooming to a condom that happens to be inside swipeapp sourced pussy is functionally equivalent to gay sex.

If you tried to attract a mate to marry and have babies, and failed, then there probably are issues. Might be too fucking ugly, or creepy weirdo (not the good kinda weirdo)

>>21332341
Im certainly not a handsome fella and Im inbetween interesting and creepy weirdo.

Do you think it's really essential to make something happen in your 20s?

>>21331976
have they said why? it might be on them

>>21331919
I've tried talking to her about it before we ever got married but she would get all sad and not want to talk about it because it makes her feel bad. Always said things like: what matters is now. Then I never wanted to keep pushing because I was worried it would ruin the only friendship/relationship I had.

It's small things like that which makes me question if it was all abusive. She was the only person Ive had outside my family and I still have this deep fear of losing her or have her become mean to me like she was back in school. Even though she is completely loving and caring towards me now, you don't understand how much of a terrible person she was towards me for no real good reason.

I don't even know why I'm thinking about it all of a sudden in recent times when I got over it when she started being friendly towards me

>>21328995
stay strong anon. i also started drinking too much lately, so i feel you. i'm not the best person when it comes to this kind of talk, but you have my sympathy

>>21331983
You don't sound like you are appreciating Heaven

fellas, i literally dont have dreams. like, at all. i pass out then wake up. why is that? jung dedicated much of his work to dreams, did he figured out an explanation for this?

>>21332391
Im that poster. Im really craving for alcohol but it has to be a ritual. I'll try to stop drinking for this month.

>>21331854
Maybe I should not ask this but... what... what exactly did she do?
(this is my fetish *blush*)

>>21332420
You're a Hylic. Sorry bro

>>21332420
you dont need to compensate reality with dreams

>>21332420
You might have sleep disorder. You won't dream if you can't get deep sleep.

>>21328139

Hey man, that girl you said you liked, she goes out a lot doesn't she. Likes drinking too. It's probably alright though. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Yeah. Can't be helped I guess. It is what it is.

>>21332537

>>21332420 here, i do have a sleep disorder. i had it for years now, matter of fact. shits horrible i tell ya

>>21332655
4 of these girls are absolutely beautiful, but they all get mogged by the girl in the middle. She is just pure sexo, despite not being as objectively beautiful.

>>21332754
those are men, you plastic instagram filter worshipping brain melted zoomer

>>21332655
>thanks bro. I'll avoid even looking to her from now on. you always have my back.

>>21332655
So much makeup

>>21332754
Just say “i like the títés”

I'm a twentysomething millenial who grew up with social media and thus have developed a shit attention-span. I fucking loathe all the internet nowadays, it's all either meaningless, disposable drivel i don't even enjoy, or actively harmful to my brain. I want to start reading instead of scrolling, but i can't sit down and read a book, it's really really hard for me to stay focused. Any ideas? Honestly feels as hard as quitting porn lol

>>21328139
How do I know if I like someone?

>>21332792
>Any ideas
Either limit social media and casual phone browsing to 30-60 minutes a day maximum, or forever be a retard. There is no in between, there are no do-overs if you fuck up, you are basically flirting with a meth addiction. Once the damage is done it's done and you will always live in its shadow even if you try to fix it later. Convince yourself this is practically a life or death decision because it is. Otherwise the decision will just be made for you by your own complacency tricking you into thinking there are halfway measures and you can afford to dick around trying to get the "willpower" to quit these destructive habits.

Please talk to me about porn addiction, success, failures, what have you. My partner is suffering and I don't know what to do. I refuse to not have faith in him and support him, he wants to get better but sometimes he says he doesn't even feel that.

>>21332793
You keep a folder of their pictures and repost them repeatedly for fifteen years and counting.
Stupid frog poster

>>21329627
Just take her out on cute dates to fatten her up a bit.

>>21330287
You are right, of the 7 I mentioned only 2 are my friends.

>>21332815
What is a porn addiction? Does he just gaze at Pronhub front page 8 hours a day?

If he can't get an erection he is probably just stressed out fat fuck

>>21332884
He's super fit. He can perform perfectly but he hates porn, hates himself for looking at it and wants to stop. I want to support him stopping because of that. He says he gets bored randomly and he just starts watching it, he's struggled with it his whole life since becoming sexual.

>>21329330
Based.

I used to think that Jordan Peterson was ok and he had some decent insights here and there. I thought that he could be a decent entry point for getting people into some intellectual topics.
But to be quite straightforward anons I wish that he would stop crying all the time and being such a faggot. I am starting to think that he he does fake crying to give his talks more emotional weight. It is a very effective tactic, especially on women and generally people of lukewarm intelligence. It is sort of like those televangelists who are all emotion and no substance.
Even if he's not faking it it's still embarrassing and gay.

First zoomer recovery operation:
I got private messaged another transgender (FTM this time) and asked them some questions to find out more about transgender psychology from genuine trans people. They all seem to have a history of bullying, dissociation, and body image issues.
If you're transgender and want to chime in with your experiences, pls reply

>>21332992
Historians will classify FtMs as one of the most significant death cults in history, it will rank up there alongside centuries of pre-Columbian mass sacrifice as one of the most twisted and demonic things the human race ever engaged in

>>21332815
It's really hard to say what could help him.
I suppose it's foolishly ideal to expect a partner to be fully devoted in every since. I mean, why is your partner not enough, y'know?
But anyways, depending on his age it's hard to truly break out of it given that so many men grow up with porn and sex constantly thrown our way through media and going online at a very young age and becoming curious once we do become sexual.

>>21332997
I agree. I just want to understand MtFs and FtMs more to see if there is anything that can be done to help them. They're victims of the ills of our times.
Getting to them is extremely difficult because they shut down when they meet any form of resistance. So far, all that can be done is passively asking them about the difficulties in their life.

It's all just a bunch of viral stories / chain letters competing to be re-told, evolving mechanisms to compel their host to do so. And now with the internet the story-wars have exploded.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_petition_against_age_of_consent_laws

I tried to imagine what an American equivalent to this would have been like. If any prominent American from that era were to start this petition, it would have been the pederast Allen Ginsberg, and he would have had to have gotten the likes of Noam Chomsky, Gore Vidal, Norman Mailer, John Rawls, John Updike, and Susan Sontag to sign it.

But that never happened. It would never have happened. So basically what I'm asking is, what did the French intelligentsia mean by this?

>>21331642
Exercise

>>21333034
>It's all just a bunch of viral stories / chain letters competing to be re-told, evolving mechanisms to compel their host to do so. And now with the internet the story-wars have exploded.

That sums up so much of these stories, honestly. Go on 4chan, Twitter, Reddit, etc, and do you know what I see all the time? People claiming they've met (insert big bad internet boogeyman here) offline. It's so fucking obvious how fake it all is. Imagine having so little a life that you need to write the political equivalent of those self-insert wishfulfillment YA books.

>>21333034
Welcome to life, everything is a continuing a cycle.. Forever to be retold.

>>21332815
Have more sex with him

>>21332833
Stupid singular they user

>>21333060
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2zJOryHKQ

I love dick and pussy. I used to want a trad wife, but really I just wanted an autistic husband. They're functionally the same thing, and I found one that has the perfect level of submission and independence I crave. He accepted my love confession recently. Actually he was also flirting with me for quite a while but he didn't understand how to do it very well. I'm feeling quite happy about it.

Also finished reading Prometheus Rising recently. I really liked the bits about the "Thinker and Prover" functions we have in our brains. And it's exercise to live with the mindset "Everything works out better than I plan" has been very effective. I will read the other books the author mentioned later.

>>21333048
I want to write a story that outcompetes all of those shitty stories.

>>21333093
I could listen to this for 10 hours, for a lifetime. It'll never end for me.

>>21329356
le west has fallen save me orangemaaaaan

That's Amore by Dean Martin is such a sad song. You won't get it if you're not an immigrant. It's the sound of a man desperately trying to honour his roots, but being so deracinated he can only make corny food references and surface level imitations. He sees his own culture through the lens of the culture he has halfway assimilated into. His mother and father will never know him completely because their reference-frames are utterly distinct from his. And the people in the wider society will never know him either because he's not one of them. That's what it means to be the child of a first gen immigrant family.

>>21333101
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1720spO4yQ

>>21332754
agreed, the other four look like stuck up cunts who are terrible deadfish in bed. middle actually looks like she has a bubbly personality and knows how to let loose a little

god im so lonely

>>21333098
>Some people started singing it not knowing what it was...
Until it reached critical mass and became an explosion of stories. What's going on with stories is definitely not cyclical, but cataclysmic.

>>21333103
Quit being such a cry baby faggot

>>21333161
These are seriously sad thoughts, why shouldn't I feel bad about it? Are you so insensitive that you would shout "quit being a faggot!" to Hamlet after one of his introspective soliloquies? It doesn't make you a man, it makes you an ape.

>>21331642
Working with my hands helped a lot for me. Struggled with much the same. I left Engineering school to be an electrician, then took up being a florist on the weekends. Having something to do in front of you that requires your full attention or you get zapped into oblivion really helps break the headspace.

>>21333074
>Chuds now hate the use of they/their
lmao
It was in service of the joke. You love pepe, dumb dumb

>>21328139
What's another Friday alone, just one in many in 32 years.

>>21333041
The french being degenerate perverts isnt a stereotype or a meme. That shit is hard coded into their blood and culture.

>>21333027
I've known two as friends
One was grew up in a very broken household. Was sexually abused by his dad as a kid, made to wear dresses too. Idk how much he was bullied in school but he definitely was not a popular kid. Came out as trans after high school. His younger brother got addicted to drugs and killed himself around that time as well.
Other one is very autistic, homeschooled his whole life, raised by very old, hippie parents. Like the kind that give their kids pot brownies to calm down. Very sheltered. Never had a single irl friend.
They both watch anime, play video games, and spend most of their free time online.
Idk i pity trans people, i don't really hate them like most people here. I assume almost all of them have pretty shit upbringings to wind up this way and unfortunately the world seems to encourage them to go down this bizarre rabbithole that seems to wind up with them killing themselves. I just want them to get better.

>>21333202
whats your plan for today, big guy?

>>21333311
I am listening to music and programming.

https://youllnevergettoheaven.bandcamp.com/track/caught-in-time-so-far-away

>>21333027
I think it's an outgrowth of industrial fordist thought where science becomes a kind of religious belief where outlying results or margins of error cannot exist and man has been granted dominion over all by science. Not transgenderism as a whole (which was historically smaller and had different social causes) but the medical and surgical and citizenship aspects certainly play to the tune of a lot of Victorian/industrial age thought. Total excision of vital organs is the kind of imbalance premodern thought doesn't allow for, which is the kind of cutting off spectra that makes the modern view perhaps more religious and zealous than its mediaeval counterparts, where a male-female balance within everyone was seen as natural and only deviant when imbalanced from the individual's norms.
There must be a pill or surgery which will make me in my own image is a far more deep religion than simply its transgender wing however: the rise of Botox and fillers at very low incomes, all of the strange theories around obseity and the fact we've made surgeries to fight an epidemic of it, fat acceptance's insane fight against thermodynamics or physics in general and biology, the advent of superfoods and scientifically complete liquid meal replacements, and all the other relics of the new scientific religion are also symptomatic of the same cultural beliefs around a very bastardised view of scientific fact and its infallibility in matters of both faith and morals.

>>21332655
>>21332754
they are so fucking ugly and entirely fake, touch a real woman

>>21333393
> five hot as balls women
> "THEY ARE UGLY AND FAKE"

nigga u gay

I'm in a quandary. I'm in such a quandary that it keeps a steady pang in the back of my head. I'm a solutions guy and the predicament seems to grow bigger and bigger, the ringing gets louder and louder and it needs to be addressed. I'm 30 years old, a ripe young age. However, my family is very old, and traditional Eastern European, and - it just so happens we live in great melting pot of the world - America. The problem is I am to find a girlfriend, make her my wife, create at least one child, and live happily ever after as a family. I need to do this before my parents die. This just seems like the right, selfless thing to do. It would be evil of me to deny my parents grandchildren and I feel it so. However, the issue is that, from my experience, Americanized women do not seem to be of a certain quality that me and my family expect. And to find European women in America is an incredibly difficult task. Furthermore, should I seek out and pursue European women in America, I then become unattractive to them because I am pursuant. They sense an internal neediness of them because they would be accepted by my family and I. It feels like I'm in a paradox, without much of a solution other than to 'keep trying'.

But I'll stop whining and keep trying since there's nothing else I can do.

>>21333165
Cry more, faggot

>>21333165
Pathetic.

>>21333471
>>21333575
He's right, you guys act like apes.

What do I do now that Z-lib is dead and I can't get my hands on contemporary zoomer literary trash...

If too much good creates weak people and too much bad creates strong people, both of them respectively creating bad and good worlds, wouldn't that mean that bad bad is good and good good is bad?
You could then actually say that everything is better when it's happening in the bad bad. When does one draw the line between too much bad (which is good) and not enough good (which is bad, but actually good) if both have the same potential to grow into the good ?
And will too much bad really be that bad if it leads to something better? Why don't we use a specific word for the evolving bad which turns out to be good and the stagnant bad then??

10 years ago, my dad asked me if there were any girls at school I was interested in. Obviously, I said no because I was and still an awkward, ugly fuck with no confidence and a small dick. He sexually abused me for years and treated me like shit, yet found it unusual I couldn’t talk to girls. Get a fucking clue, you dickhead.

>>21333649
literally not a book has been released in 122 years who cares, read old books

re-read the gereks

>>21333674
I DON'T WANT THE GEREKS
I WANT TO FILL MY BRAIN WITH EXCREMENTS

>>21333656
> This post brought to you by the ghost of Norm

I have decided on a suicide method.

>>21333688
>Attentionfag

>>21333688
Everyone who makes a post is an attentionfag, for what else are you looking for posting on a social media site?

>>21333705
>I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF GUYS!
>LOOK AT MEEEE!
>MY PAIN IS A SPECIAL KIND OF PAIN
>YOU'VE NEVER FELT AS BAD AS I DO

It's probably better that you are attentionfagging with your suicidal feelings rather than not, probably means you're not going to do it since there's a trivial fix (attention).

>>21333723
like all junkies, the natural end of all attentionfag is suicide

Everything is clear now. I don't have excuses anymore.

Hey fags,

I’m drunk and miserable. I stupidly let myself sober up enough for the drunken euphoria to disappear and now I feel like no matter how much I drink I’ll still feel unhappy. I feel disconnected from other people and unable to share my true self. I feel so alone.

>>21333777
Alcohol just rots your brain. Everyone knows that.

>>21333814
But it’s so fun

>>21333818
Naw. It was amusing to get tipsy and do a little dance, come out of your shell and share with friends at parties, but only on infrequent occasions.
But you overdid it, and continued to over do it. Hangovers can be avoided by drinking water after the initial buzz, and pissing it all out before you go to sleep. But you've probably drank till you vomited.
Sober up. You have an addiction that's going to fuck with your chemistry till you get cleaned up. The brain damage will remain, but you probably have enough will power. Long road ahead of you, don't fall off the wagon.

>>21333825
But how do I fill the void I’m clearly trying to fill will alcohol?

Appreciate the time you took to type out that thoughtful response btw

>>21333867
You gotta find your own way. Learn some self respect, self love. Get some real friends somewhere. Some common interests I guess. You can share your true self with them. It's hard sometimes, but you can challenge yourself and feel all the better once you get there.

Same to the suicidal poster above, man. Stop getting like this people.

NEW
>>21328139

NEW

>>21328139
NEW

>>21328139

Next thread

>>21333887
>>21333887
>>21333887

>>21332441
That thing she still does is twists my ear and starts saying chicken nugget

>>21328224
Whatever it means when its done in anime, c'mon autist, you can do this.

>>21332754
She's probably the most annoying

>>21333688
Which one