/lit/ - Literature

What's the word I can use that feels like regret but not entirely? I don't "regret" making certain decisions but at the same time I have the gnawing feeling that I could've made a better choice.

Still cannot answer the question, who am I?

>>21307269
anguish
annoyance
apology
bitterness
concern
contrition
disappointment
discomfort
dissatisfaction
grief
heartache
heartbreak
misgiving
nostalgia
qualm
remorse
repentance
sorrow
uneasiness
worry
affliction
apologies
care
compunction
conscience
demur
dole
lamentation
pang
penitence
ruefulness
scruple
self-accusation
self-condemnation
self-disgust
self-reproach
woe
regretfulness

am currently painting the nativity

my gf was disappointed that my parents aren't racist because the taboo would turn her on

I feel like the internet as a whole, and especially political discourse, has grown more deranged ever since the Russian-Ukrainian war began

>>21307276
Thanks anon.

Speaking of lamentations, I met my friend's younger brother who took economics as his bachelors and masters the other day. He lamented how a good chunk of people working in the corporate world gets fleeced over. Not out of foolishness but out of ignorance. He said if people learn the things they taught to economic students, they'd be in a much better place than being taken for granted. And I kinda agree with him.

>>21307259
I'm drunk as fuck and kind of inbetween happiness and sadness..
I often feel as if it'd be better to never be close to other people in any sort of way as it tends to result in eventually feeling hurt in some way, but I'm probably just drunk.
I exist in the lives of others as a means of them having proof that they exist.
So-called friends simply pretend and say the same things to any and everyone, none of this mean absolutely anything at all. What a pitiful existence.
Again though, I'm probably just drunk.

>>21307259
Everytime I masturbate to normal women I lapse into thinking of my ex sucking dicks and getting fucked. My boner gets killed instantly, so I masturbate to trans women instead and then I think of God. Obviously my boner also gets killed instantly. The resulting end is that I can't masturbate to anything except convoluted scenarios involving my other exes and even then I still think of them getting fucked. I just don't care as much so I finish myself real quick like "Meh" and just stare into the void for minutes afterwards. None of this would be happening if I had been born in a country upholding normal values.

Just imagine being born 100 years ago in some backwater village, marrying your childhood friend and living the rest of your life in peace. Then you wake up in 2022 and someone tells you that more than half of marriages end up in divorces, that chasing ""experiences"" while being young is normal behavior and that your 14-year old choker-wearing ADHD-addled great granddaughter is twerking on tiktok.

As pathetic as these threads are I still admire that it is one of the most honest parts of the Internet. No dissimulation, no performance, just anonymous people sharing their (mostly miserable) thoughts.

>>21307327
LMAOOOOOOOO

>>21307330
To be human is to be pathetic, lol.

>>21307259
Is my gf still a virgin if she uses sex toys?

We are each other's first relationship, kiss and all that but you know, horniness made me get her into masturbating. Then it got into us kissing each other when we orgasm, then sucking on her tits while she masturbated but we never actually touched each other's pussy or dick. We are waiting for marriage to have actual sex.

But here's the deal, she started using dildos, vibrators and buttplugs. She even has one of those silicone half body things with a dick which she fucks which I didn't even know about until she pulled it out one time and rode it in front of me which for some reason made me really upset. She says she doesn't cum though unless I'm with her. She said she stopped using it at my request but still uses the dildos and vibrators. She bought me a fleshlight to make me feel better and is trying to get me to use it but I really don't want to. I told her she is the only one I want to nut in.

Is she still a virgin? We are still going to get married one day but it just feels weird

>>21307330
Gotta vent out the miserable side of our lives somewhere lest it consumes us.

for sale, one condom, never worn

>>21307360
I mean she still os a virgin, but it's clwar that something is upsetting you about her sex toy usage past that. Talk to her about how you honestly feel and be firm in what you wish for her to do without being overbearing. For the sake of curiosity, do you have problems woth her sex toy usage for religious reasons or something else?

>>21307360
I get that this is bait but the point of no sex until marriage is completely missed here.

>>21307390
>>21307389

Well we are Christians but the horniness got the better of us despite us always romanticising the idea of going all the way on our wedding night. Before the marriage we plan on going no coom/touch for months beforehand lol

>>21307360
Just shut the fuck up and marry her already you absolute retard. This whole "everything but" stupidity is cringe and dumb. Put a ring on her finger today and slam your dick in her pussy immediately after you sign the papers, you absolute pair of dumbasses.
You do not realize it, but you are LITERALLY in the process of destroying your relationship by having these """""jo sesh's"""" together.
Also, incase you are too stupid to put it together, you didn't like seeing her ride that sex doll because it put you on the OUTSIDE of the act. It made you a pseudocuckhold. THAT'S why you didn't get a good feeling from it, moron.
I cannot believe people as silly as you two exist.
>inb4 yOuRe BeInG mEaN To Me
>inb4 >falling for this bait
Fuck you. Marry her ASAP or fuck off and die. Youre wasting your time, my time(much more valuable), and everybody on this board's time with your boundless stupidity

>>21307303
Are you an oil driller? What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>21307360
she wants you to just fuck her already, retard

>>21307446
why does it matter? we enjoy each other's company so I see no reason to cuck myself out of happiness

>>21307458
Are you planning on breeding her? If so, you're cucking your own genetics by making muttbabies. (Assuming you're white. If you're not, then you can go about your business because you don't matter anyways)

I wish I didn't make so many dumb mistakes. Sometimes my brain just shuts off and I don't even realize it before it's too late.
I wish I knew how to cure this.

>>21307401
Like >>21307440 said (but not as abrasively), marry her as soon as possible. There's no point im waiting. You two definitely seem compatible and ready and willing to fuck. Might as well do it with God's consent. The only thing you guys need to make sure to do is foster that flame and make sure the marriage lasts in the long term. Sex is fun and all but a relationship is hard work of you want it to truly last and if you want it to be good for the both of you.

>>21307487
I'm white, she's brown not black I forgot to add. Wouldn't rule out having children with her if we stay together that long.
>cucking your own genetics
but the only thing you know is that she's not white, which on its own is completely arbitrary.

cosmopolitan mutts are unironically going to rule the next century

>>21307360
She's not a virgin and neither are you anymore. These mutual masturbation sessions count as sex.
Even if they aren't sex (they are), what you're doing is still sinful.

I have no idea what my feelings are towards this person but the more I know about her and the more I talk to her the more I want to know and talk to her. The confusing part is that I don't feel lust or crush as with the one before, but when I wasn't railing her in the ass she bored me. This is like the exact opposite

Have I memed myself into over-correction and to the mythical friendship between male and female?

I have no idea I'm so lost and confused

>>21307259
My partner is mad that I spent this much on a coffee grinder but refuse to buy a coffee machine which is in that price range.

Am I really being that ridiculous? I just don't see what for if our current coffee making method is fine and I want to get into beans. What's the appeal of those big coffee machines anyways?

>>21307401
Quite frankly, you're already beyond the Christian definition of chaste at this point, marry her and cease the illusion. If you're unsure you ought to marry by this point you've certainly fucked up the ideal.

>>21307319
Ditched most of my friends save for a core few, feels good man. You're right, people collect relationships not as a result of caring for the individuals but as a social trophy of sorts, the more people they can claim care for them the better they feel about themselves, it's symbiotic in that many of their friends are just as shallow but need the same affirmation. If you can happy and alone, you don't need their bull shit.

>>21307316
It's been happening for longer than that, you've only noticed because it's exponential and we're mid curve. It's the internet itself, instantaneous global communication aggregated through social media with the assistance of audio and video that can be produced then manipulated by the average joe means everyone is involved in the political tug of war between every ideology and shit hits the fan faster than ever.

Life goes on, I'm lost

>>21307777

Something odd happened to me.
I'm studying abroad currently in a place where nobody speaks English. Hardly do I come across a foreigner in this far-away country. I was eating lunch at a diner when a man approached me. He said he was new here, that he was from Uzbekistan, that he was studying Transportation & Logistics and that he was trying to learn English. He then asked me what I was doing next weekend. I said I was going to be busy studying for my exams.
He asked me for my Instagram account. I lied and said I didn't have one. He said he'd give me his number and told me to contact him; he wanted to practice English with a native speaker. I conceded uneasily and let him type his number into my phone. He told me he was waiting for his girlfriend to return from the bathroom. She was a much better speaker of English than he was, he said, and that she was studying medicine in a university nearby. She appeared: I noticed she had a tattoo on her sternum. It was a scary tattoo: like some old demon's ornate wings spread out across her chest. She sat down with us. She told me that my "English was very... high [sic]" and that I looked like a famous Turkish actor (I wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not). The man asked me if I had a girlfriend. No, I said. Why not? asked the woman. You're very handsome. Oh well, I said, I'm busy studying (a lie), so I have no time, you know.
We then spoke a bit more, they more than I, and finally they took leave after the man told me again to "write him" next weekend.

Did I just encounter a gang? What the fuck do they want? Why were they asking me so much? Does a tattoo on a woman's chest indicate that she's part of a gang? I'm scared now. They know where I study. I should have lied. Thank God I didn't give them my own contact info. Christ. The diner is close to where I live, too. And the food was dogshit. What do I do?

>>21307795
Watch Hostel

I feel locked out of being human. Like the world is some smooth, seamless, frictionless ball that I can't get a grip on, with no way inside.

>>21307818
Are you weird or others?

It began 4 years ago during a snowstorm when driving conditions where untenable in the city, even the public transport stopped. I walked for 2 hours to my destination. But contrary to my expectations, I fell in love with it. I have been walking for an hour at least almost every day. Sometimes when I come back from work (using a car). I immediately go out for an hour or two of strolling. Getting lost in my thoughts,throwing glances at people running about their day, enjoying the breeze on my face and fresh air in my lungs. Even if it's raining I'll go for a walk.
Over the weekend I usually drive over to some nature reserve or a medium sized mountain and I'll just walk and hike all day long. Really if there is anything I do in my free time it's either walking and reading. I don't even go out with my friends anymore. I tried inviting them for a walk, but they just gave me a blank stare. "A walk? Really?" I've even lost so much weight due to walking. I was always skinny, but now I'm even skinnier. Sometimes I don't even have time to eat from all the walking. I sometimes feel pangs of loneliness and sexual desire. Occasionally I'll try accosting a woman if I find one which is visually to my liking and have a chat. Usually it goes nowhere, as by the second or third date it becomes obvious to her that I do not much more other than walking and reading. And so I continue to walk, as that is about the only thing I can consistently find enjoyable
I have become walk, the man.

>>21307795
You find your way in a threesome.

>>21307869
Probably me. But I don't really conceptualize it that way. I can "fake it" most of the time, create a facsimile of situationally appropriate behaviour and basic conversation. It's like driving a car, right, slow down, turn here, etc, you do what you have to do to safely navigate. But there is something missing, it doesn't register or make an impact beyond the immediate utility of the action, there is this lack of meaning. Other people seem to derive some kind of meaning or profundity from it all, but for me its just navigation, an arbitrary obstacle course, shapes in motion.

>>21307795
Women of the very seedy, gang-adjacent sort will usually have a tattoo of a crown on their sternum or their collarbone, sometimes with a name.
It indicates ownership by a pimp or gang leader. Common among hookers from eastern european countries, especially Romania.

This is honestly basic knowledge if you live the literary lifestyle. Avoid hookers with the crown tattoo, they are trafficked. Not only will it likely be a dreadful experience akin to raping a living, drugged out corpse, you are also very likely to meet a burly albanian man on your way out, who will, one way or another, convince you to pay 10x the price

>>21307691
Getting strong social climbing homosexual male desperate for bourgeois respectability from this post

>>21307802
>>21307898
>>21307944
I hadn't even thought about it that way. Did I just get approached by a pimp and a victim of human trafficking???

The real reason for this thread is this
I want to ask you if I am THAT bad at editing
I know it's simple but I did this edit for the nationplay thread on trash, it's like a third branch of blacked and bleached
They laughed at me, ignored by not even giving a single (you) and basically insulted me. For doing an edit?
Am I that bad?

Probably the wrong place to ask but does anyone remember the name of the web radio station that used to be run by /a/... or maybe it was /mu/? I can't remember which board it was now, but it was one of them. I'm talking like 8 to 10 years ago now, so it's a long shot. I'm curious if it is still running.

>only 3 more days
This is the final stretch bros

>>21308007
I failed like 70 different times already.
I'm a worm.

>tfw no lit gf
Why yes, how did you know I suffer?

>>21307513
muttchads it's OUR time

I played myself early on in life and now I just feel trapped

i'm so alienated i can't even get into /lit/ anymore.

The one thing you can never get more of is time. Once it's gone, it's gone. Mistakes cannot be undone.

Too much thinking is the problem

>>21308105
The second column has two fives, thus his sudoku cannot be completed. Samurai guy is going to make it.

>>21307795
>>21307944
>>21307959
I can't wait until nuclear holocaust

>>21307259
i might buy some more of that nice olive soap from lush, but then id prefer soap that lathers more and doesnt leave olive pieces in the drain

>>21307259
>get first gf at 29
>she's really hot
>everything is great
>lose v to her
>love her lots
>loves me lots
>she is asking me a bunch of weird stuff like if I still fap to porn or think of other girls or if I ever feel like I missed out
>says to me I'm not missing much
>tells me sex should only be in relationships
>notice she is getting jealous of other girls or nitpicks my interactions with them

Why is she getting like this? Another thing that's a bit annoying is that when there is relationship/couple stuff on tv/YouTube and I give my 2 cents on the issue, she sometimes follows it up with "lol how would you know, youve never been with anyone besides me" or kind of makes light of my inexperience.

It got annoying to the point where I called her out on it for being disrespectful and she immediately came up to me to apologise over it and said she didn't mean it to come off that way. What's the deal? Why does she make fun of me not being with anyone besides her, I thought it would be something she would be proud of. Then next minute she get weird about me even just talking to another girl. I like the fact I've never been with anyone else and have only been with someone I actually love.

get out of that relationship now while you're not completely wrapped around her finger and riddled with self-doubt, you'll thank yourself in a few years time

>>21307498
Adderall

>>21307513
Not if we resurrect Hitler.

>>21308279
Little soap company does olive oil Castille soap bars if you're in UK. Boots stock it. if not Dr Bronner's magical soap is everywhere.

>>21307969
If Chinese girls actually looked like this I would date them.
Too bad they’re short, slit eyed and flat as board

>>21308309
Unless she is saying this in front of other people, which is inappropriate, then it's just her testing you. The more she gets you to show it bothers you, the more you lose. She's trying to control you and reveal insecurity. And once she does, she'll lose interest. So don't let her.

If it were me, the next time she said something like this in private, I'd ask calmly and politely remind her that love is worthless if it's handed out like candy and that should be the opinion of both parties in a couple or else the relationship won't work, and then ask her not to speak about me like that again, all very calm and collected like it's barely even small talk. After doing this twice, I don't she'd do it again. If she did, I'd start to question if she's a girl worth dating and I'd tell her that to be honest.

Why did God curse me with ugly looks?

>>21307360
this has to be a shitpost lol

>>21307259
I AM BORED WITH MY LIFE AND NOTHING HELPS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

alcohol is poison

>>21308439
He gave to me good looks and a small shlong which always disappoints chicks when they see it.
Who knows who has it better, maybe it's me in some ways, but your advantage is that when you find yourself a girl you'll know it's by your merit and it will not just be physical bullshit without any emotional value.

>>21308462
delicious poison that eases the pain

All of the money has been made in tech, but almost none of these companies are profitable. It's all just investors speculating on EVs making founders rich on paper.

>>21308473
Exactly. Up until now that I'm bloody hungover.

>>21308479
>still gets hangovers
lightweight

I should be doing something productive and useful for my life, yet here I am whining and wailing about my life

>>21308468
>small shlong
sure 6 inches is BAD.

>>21308485
same, so much easier to deal with regrets than it is to actually do something

I'm wasting my twenties.

>>21308482
I don't get them usually, but last night I drank way too much.

I'm an overthinker and have been for a long time. I hate this about myself.

>>21308489
If you've ever seen Michelangelo's David, that's what I see daily in the mirror minus a few pounds of muscle.
It's not good for confidence.

>>21308506
Lmao just stop overthinking amirite?

>>21308508
it's a grower then. relax anon.

I want to change careers, software dev has sucked the life out of me

>>21308523
I'm gonna finish an MS in math this summer.
Somehow I think software dev is my best option after that for the money. Any reccs what else could be a reasonable career? I'm bad at making important decisions.

I love when when my sister gets goosebumps when we fuck

>>21308545
Look into data """science""" job listings

I always regret it when I get sucked into debates or lose my temper. I'm disappointed with myself that I haven't stopped completely already. I'm too old for it.

>>21308607
The key is to sneed

>>21308523
Start a company. You probably got into Software for the money anyway and owning a business is the best way to make more money.

>>21308545
Budget analysis. You draft reports and analyze numbers. No decisions are necessary until you're an officer or manager, and you don't have to be one.

>>21308105
same

>>21308614
>register a company
>still no money
Something tells me my company should have a product, but what should it sell.

>>21308614
>Start a company
sounds exhausting and risky. and i never want to write another line of code in my life

i recently got into reading analytically. i want to quit my job so i can catch up on reading everything that i should have been taught to read when i was in school

>>21307259
Need to stop getting into political arguments with people
Got into an argument about mass surveillance.
I was arguing that there's a lot of people that are hypocritical about surveillance.
When other countries do it, they're authoritarian and evil, but when we do it we have a legitimate reason.
She couldn't see the hypocrisy.
One point asked her point blank would you be ok with a central agency of the U.S federal government being able to read all of your text messages and internet history. To which she responded "yes I would, but it doesn't matter anyway because they already have that power".
Which utterly dumbfounded me.
This same person will talk about the authoritarianism of conservatives, but basically admitted they would be fine with living in a totalitarian state. While insisting that when China does the exact same thing they're authoritarian.
I hate politics. It makes hypocrites out of everyone.

Are there any recommended reading charts for Mystery/Thrillers? I only know of Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie.

I always had an affinity for treasure. Like, I loved stories where the characters got some rare artifact or jewelry. I liked toys that came with fake gold or jewels and I always enjoyed looking at my mother’s jewelry. To this day, every time I come in contact with something rare, be it a book, a painting or anything else, I feel the impulse to acquire it. It was never about the monetary value of such things, I was just captivated by how beautiful they looked and how rare they were.
What the hell do I do with that? It’s not like I can become Indiana Jones or a pirate.

how do you know if you love someone or just like them a lot

>>21308821
an art dealer?

There's no justice in the world.
Never was.
Never will.

>>21308850
You tell me I'm so lost on this one too

I decided to stay home and drink instead of meeting friends last night. Now I'm so hungover and tired that Im going to be late meeting friends this morning. I don't regret it at all, i had so much fun drinking last night. I watched three movies and stayed up listenjng to music.

>>21309015
Good.

>>21308850
Like or like like?

I should've been working in some sort of career that provided the expertise to strike out on my own, but instead, I wasted my time in academia, a truly worthless career that lends itself to nothing but academia.

>>21308627
I think software would be a fitting thing for a software engineer to sell. That's where all the money is anyway.

>>21309084
like like

I do not have kind eyes, they look very angry.

>>21309125
is it a sexy kind of angry?

>>21309125
are you an angry person?

>>21307259
>caught in a whirlwind 24/7
>procrastination
>overworking
>endless back and forth
>months flying by
>ultimately getting nothing of value finished
>year is almost over

I strongly feel life is giving me implicit permission to neck. This might be Socrates' divine sign.

>>21309173
i also want to really bad but i am very torn on the issue. got any family?

>>21309154
>>21309158
People tell me I look like the guy from Halloween and call me sociopath. I am, however, not sociopath.

>>21309182
Yes, no kids though. You? Also, why would you do it if I may ask?

>>21309191
are you a stoic?

>>21309191
I knew a guy who had a lot of sociopathic tendencies and used to call him Hannibal Lecter as a “joke”. Not saying he was a sociopath, but he was closer to one than a regular person. Anyway, he was charismatic and well liked, so the best I could do was keep an eye out so he didn’t fuck with me and from time to time say things like “lol, you’re such a psycho” when he pulled out shady shit and hope at least someone connects the dots and realizes his behavior is weird as hell. A few years back he went to med school so he could become a doctor and specialize in psychiatry, which I quickly pointed out was the same professional background Hannibal Lecter had. Ha ha, good joke. Everybody laughs.

My emotions are in a minor key constantly. I am unable to feel extremely. I want to scream. I don't, of course. I cough.

>>21309440
I can relate. I cant belly laugh or cry, just make restricted sounds like chuckle or sob.

>>21307276
t. autism

>>21307327
dam bro im like mad blackpilled now,on god..fr

I can only appreciate life when I'm drunk, otherwise I only want to die. Dilemma: die sober or live drunk?

Any good novels for coomers to read? Like maybe something recent that deals with internet porn addiction if there are any decent books like that, or otherwise something that deals with degeneracy more generally.
I don't want to end up an old loser still addicted to bbc porn

>>21309210
Same boat, no kids but I've got siblings and my mother. To answer your question: honestly I don't know why I want to. On paper my life is going fine. I'm not stupid, not ugly, not poor. I think I might have inherited some predisposition to sadness or something.
Well, that's my life story. What's got you down?

I'm trying to become a better listener. Does anyone want to vent to me about their life so I can ponder and offer input? I need the practice

>>21309603
I feel sad.

>>21309612
Anything in particular weighing on you?

What are strategies for overcoming regrets?

>>21309615
I care about other people too much whenever its their opinions or well-being and that comes at expense of depression as I dont care about myself. There no inner voice, no nothing. As far as I remember that anything besides me knows better about me.

Does anyone have an book recommendation on love?

>>21309629
I knew someone who said something very similar. Here is what you must understand: for those that truly care about you, it is painful to see you neglect yourself. You are harming them by disregarding yourself.
I tried explaining this to her, but it didn't help. I wish I could have helped her.
I shouldn't be talking about myself, though; that's not the purpose of this exercise. If you'd like to say more, I'm all ears.

>>21309642
Maybe The Symposium. I haven't read it yet but I believe it's what you're looking for. I think it's really short though.

>>21309653
>it is painful to see you neglect yourself. You are harming them by disregarding yourself.
My brother basically said the same, that hes at the point of anger for him talking about it numerous times about this and me not getting the point. How am I supposed to save myself if I dont receive instructions from myself?

>>21309677
In my experience, there are two kinds of knowledge. Things you can read in a book and learn passively, and things you can only learn through experience—that is, actively.
This is one of those things. It doesn't matter how many times you hear people tell you "the answer" to your problem. You won't ever truly know until you experience it directly, at which point something clicks in your soul. Ironically, this means I can't simply tell you what to do to fix it. Let me ask you this, though: do you want to love yourself? What I mean is, do you see yourself as worthy of your own love? If not, do you wish that you did?

I am addicted to camgirls.

>>21307269
remorse

>>21307487
Genes do not exist.

>>21309697
Im at this problem whenever I have too little experience or Im not able to synthesize it into deeper insight. I do know that Im the only one who can save myself but I do not consciously realize it. I want to accept myself with all pros and cons but I do not see myself worthy of love purely because I dont have any resources, looks, status or a character. If some girl would say that she loves me, my first reaction would be "why? for what reason?". I do know that by asking it, I'd kill the love.

>>21309740
>If some girl would say that she loves me, my first reaction would be "why? for what reason?"
I know how this feels.
>I do know that Im the only one who can save myself but I do not consciously realize it.
That's a concise way of summing up the crux of your problem. It's a tough place to be. I don't know how helpful this will be, but do you ever find yourself laughing at jokes in your head, even when your by yourself? Perhaps not laughing out loud, but inwardly chuckling at some humorous thought while your showering or driving or something?
It might not seem like much, but that means that, to some degree—however small it may be—you do enjoy your own company. Not all the time, but sometimes.

You say you have no resources, looks, status, or character; but those are all things that attract the love of others. Let us, for one moment, take others out of the equation. Those things do not contribute towards your capacity to love yourself. Judging your worth by measuring the love you receive from others misses the mark entirely. Self-love is independent of anything material, it only involves a mind capable of loving and the willingness to direct that love inwardly—to love itself.

It sounds to me that you have standards for what is considered "love-worthy," and that, in your eyes, you fail to meet those standards. Am I wrong? And, if I may ask, could you tell me what those standards might look like if you had to lay them out on paper. Maybe a short bullet-point list.

Apologies if I am rambling or something; like I said, I'm trying to practice.

>>21309603
Spend an entire month talking with others but only asking about them. If they bring attention to yourself, do answer them, but then proceed to direct things towards them once again. It’s fascinating. You’ll start to notice things you’ve never noticed before, and will also realize how different people’s self-perception is. There are some who enjoy talking about abstract subjects more and about themselves or people in general, others that will naturally go for a give and take approach - and even though you’re trying to focus on them - the conversation will feel very balanced because they genuinely demonstrate an earnest interest in you. Others will spend the entire month talking about themselves and you’ll learn how enamored a person can become with itself, to the point they are their favorite subject at all times, from which they can never grow bored.

>>21309837
Oh yes, I do laugh at things. I also think that I dont mind my own company but at the same time I run away from a deeper contact with myself by using distractions.
Now that you've put it in this way, it does seem like a very neurotic way by trying to love myself by using other people guidelines and completely ignoring myself like loving an image and not the real person. That reminds on why I dont do dating ever - I just dont feel interesting enough to captivate and entertain because Im nothing if I cant do it. No one needs the emotional me. I dont have the exact list but any of those previously named points - looks, personality (charisma), money or high status.

>>21309603
I'm extremely critical of myself and this is bound up with one of the things I'm critical of: overthinking.

>>21309653
That's nice if someone cares about you, but when you're surrounded by people who you give everything to and all they are is ungrateful or critical, most likely they do not care.

>>21309863
>Spend an entire month talking with others but only asking about them. If they bring attention to yourself, do answer them, but then proceed to direct things towards them once again.
That's what I've set out to do, but I don't have many people available to me for the time being, so I've elected to talking to people on 4chan for the time being, lol. People on here are plenty interesting, though, and the anonymity of the place allows for a lot more honesty than IRL interactions.

>>21309866
>Now that you've put it in this way, it does seem like a very neurotic way by trying to love myself by using other people guidelines and completely ignoring myself like loving an image and not the real person.
I'm glad I was able to resonate on some level.
I don't want to pretend like I have all the answers here—I also struggle with self-love, but I can at least share what I've learned. The best piece of knowledge I have to offer here is that I don't believe anything is a prerequisite to self-love. You can do it no matter who you are, how much money you have, how charismatic, etc. It's a bit of a reddit-tier example to use, but Diogenes kind of embodies what I'm trying to get at here.

>>21309883
That's quite ironic indeed. Irony is an insidious beast, but it's only as deadly as you let it be. Mind sharing some other things you criticize yourself harshly for? Maybe the biggest ones that come to mind, if any.

>>21309887
Finding people who will love you for you and not what you offer is quite difficult indeed. In my experience, it's less that one in a hundred. But they are out there. This is a tricky topic, but I believe that you can increase your odds of encountering those people by altering the way you present yourself—a sort of personality-filter, if you will. I don't know, let me know what you think.

>>21309918
>Diogenes kind of embodies what I'm trying to get at here.
Interesting for you to mention him. I was just reading about not too long ago. What does he say about self-love? I do seem to realize that my problems are very closely related to my introjection of others ideas on how I should act or see things. I even doubt if I cant unlearn it.

>>21309883
Oh, I just remembered. This video may interest you, although the channel is a bit silly in my opinion. Better to read the works themselves, but these videos are a good supplementary learning aid.

>>21309948
Forgot the link:
https://youtu.be/_qVXWGQkHbc

>>21309943
I can't say his exact thoughts on the matter because AFAIK none of his works survived, but his lifestyle speaks to the issue plenty. I don't know all the details, but he was intentionally homeless and didn't own any possessions. He'd wank off in the street and piss in the street, maintaining eye-contact with passerbys—stuff like that. He had enough inner wealth and respect that he made a point of rejecting the respect of others; he didn't need it. Now, I'm not telling you to actively present yourself as a deranged lunatic or anything, only that you don't need to be loved by others in order to love yourself. You can love yourself in a vacuum; a Boltzmann brain can love itself.

>>21309972
Thanks anon. I'll work on accepting that thought even if theres a lot resistance to just discard it. I feel listened.

>>21309985
>I feel listened.
Pleasure's all mine. Have a good one

>>21307259
Learning another language is tedious. I somewhat enjoy the process of deciphering and translating, slowly uncovering the meaning of a text in another language. With spanish I know the language well enough that I can do this okay.
The actual process though of learning a language is incredibly boring and frustrating to me. Having to learn and retain all the many different endings verb conjugations is, no matter what, a tedious process.
At most the thinking it requires is a good memory, but it feels like wasted time that could be spent learning a real subject in depth.
Maybe the problem lies with me. I approach everything like a coomer. When I'm learning something new it's exciting, but discipline is not something I've ever been able to maintain once the honeymoon period wanes.

>>21309990
whats realer than language

>>21310007
Idk all that time could be spent reading about other topics: philosophy/history of ideas or history.
Of course you can both learn a language and read about those things, but there's only so much time in a day.
Especially on top of school & work.

>>21309918
I can only summarize by saying I'm harshly critical of who I am, how I am in my relationships, and what I've done in the past. In general, I don't like myself, I think. I don't like my temperament, when I lose my temper, my manner of speaking, my appearance, and what I've done, I also have a father and three brothers with whom I have a strained relationship in general, partly because they're critical and disparaging in general. I think there might be too much to talk about on second thought.

>>21309948
>>21309950
I just don't find these videos helpful because I feel like I can't help but over think. It's not really overthinking that bothers me, but lack of action. And in conversation, someone might point out that I'm overthinking something, but if I don't speak what I've thought, there's nothing at all to discuss and the result is pure silence.

In fact, I reconciled myself to the silence around friends and family for a while for this reason and all I got was told that I'm a miser.

I'm getting angry just thinking about this now.

>>21310016
This one hits close to home. I honestly don't know if I offer any useful advice, because you described me very accurately, but I'm up for hearing you out if you feel like talking. Just ignore this post if you don't want to talk about it, though. No worries.

>>21310027
It does feel nice to speak to someone, but I don't know what more I can say about it. I'm simply unhappy with myself, my life, and my relationships, and that's really the only takeaway.

Normally, I go out of my way to see family for the holidays, but I'm thinking this year I won't.

>>21310015
take a long hard look at this very board if you want to see what philosophy does to people
history just turns you into a pub quiz champion

>>21310026
This is tricky to pin down. I'd say it's "analysis-paralysis," but I feel like that's a bit of an oversimplification of it. Here's a question: is there a common denominator with the things you tend to over-think? Is it big decisions, small decisions, both? Perhaps it's not decisions at all, but problems that seem to have no solution? Kind of like you're stuck in diagnosis mode?
Also, just so I'm clear, are you also this anon? >>21310037
If so, apologies for pressing further despite you saying there's nothing more to say.

>>21310041
>take a long hard look at this very board if you want to see what philosophy does to people
>history just turns you into a pub quiz champion
At least the philosophy schizos are interesting.
What do you get out of language study? What do you find interesting about it?
Sure you can read a text in its original language, but I don't see what's so great about that when you could have just read it translated anyway.

"subterfuge" has to be the most retardedly spelt word in the English language

>>21310095
I'm inclined to agree. But I like that word nonetheless. I don't know why, maybe for the very fact that it's spelled retardedly. It's fun to say, too

>>21310059
I don't fail to make decisions because I generally don't have decisions I need to make anymore. But I can sympathize somewhat with the idea of being stuck in diagnosis mode. Yes, it's me.

>>21310059
I think I make the mistake of feeling like I have to somehow plan and engineer my future becuase I'm so unhappy with my present, if that makes any sense at all. I'm very resentful about how things are and have gone in my life.

>>21310107
>I can sympathize somewhat with the idea of being stuck in diagnosis mode.
In that case, we're very similar. I had a phase in my early twenties during which I condemned all of human society and refused to engage in any goal at all after reading Uncle Ted, lol.
>>21310114
I remember when my sister younger sister went off to college, surpassing me (I dropped out), I felt unbearable resentment towards her, and shame from feeling resentful when I should feel proud. I can try to share what I've learned, but take it with a grain of salt. If my read on your situation is correct, it all comes down to one thing: you're failing to meet your own standards. That's the source of all the pain; everything else is a downstream consequence of that.
So, while I know from experience that this question is an irritating one, ask yourself this: what would you look like if you were meeting those standards? What is your "ideal life." It's possible that I'm making to many assumptions about you, let me know if that's the case.

Got so frustrated at my printer earlier that I threw it against the wall like an enraged gorilla.
Now I need a new printer but the act of destroying that constant thorn in my side, that bane of my entire life, was worth it for the 10 seconds of victory I gained after doing it.

>>21310149
I want to be the sort of person I can admire, and I want to be successful in some regard, not necessarily have the ideal life. I tend to think I'm not only not there, but not well on my way there, whether or not that's true.

>>21310175
I see. That's a fine goal to have, but I am interested in what a person worthy of admiring looks like to you. "Successful" is a very broad category, so it could help to narrow it down some. Financial success? Maybe you're the type of person who dreams of making art–in that case, honing your craft might qualify as success. Or maybe starting a family and raising children. I suppose becoming admirable must be difficult, otherwise it wouldn't mean anything. Actionable goals that can be broken down into bite-sized chunks are the only way there; but, I know what you mean when you say the task of engineering your own future seems insurmountable. Feels like trying to draw up blueprints for a society or something.

At the grocery store last night a cute girl gave me her number. without me doing anything. I am not ugly but I am not an obvious chad type guy, and I havnt shaved in a few weeks so I thought i was looking kinda homeless. She complimented my patagonia rain jacket.

She checks all the boxes.

Am I the butt of some elaborate troll? seems like a lot of effort to go to for something that isnt that funny. then again she seemed out of my league normally.

seems like a no lose situation for me to just ask her out so I did she said shes busy till after finals but she will let me know when shes free.

Am I being trolled anon?

>>21310260
I don't think you're being trolled. It'd be a pretty weird way of trolling someone, but I guess you never know. Just hope for the best and prepare for the worst, don't overthink it. Don't get your expectations up, but also don't go in expecting her to call you a loser and ghost you or something.

>>21310204
Well, this is the thing. I'm still not sure. And that I'm unsure has led me down a dissatisfying path which makes a worthwhile one feel now impossible. This, plus I'm just too old to be unsure. I have people counting on me.

>>21310204
My dad exited the picture when I was a teenager, I think 14 or 15. My mother was not highly educated and did not make a lot of money. She also was not home very much, and with three siblings, I felt like much of the burden in managing family life fell on my shoulders. It wasn't so much about bills or anything like that being somehow a role model, getting things right, being succesful. But I didn't have anyone to show me how. My grandfathers died when I was young. The only guy who was around died when I was 20. It was basically just me, and I ended up taking on all of the mistakes, doing everything wrong so everyone else didn't have to. I can't help but feel like all of that set me back, along with my own failures in decision making.

>>21310324
>>21310343
I can't respond right now, but I've read these and will be back in a few hours.

Sometimes I go limp-wristed when I run by the river so I look like Tyrannosaurus. I do not view prey when they pass. The only place T-Rex could live presently is in an exhibit. If enough prey viewed him through the glass, would the predator begin to gnaw at the tips of his claws? Would he learn to love his little world? I'm not sure because I am prey through and through.
Sometimes I throw pebbles near piscēs in the river. I wonder if the fish feel disappointment when they discover what they dart toward: "I got a rock..."
Sometimes I feel like the fish and God the thrower of stone. I wonder if he laughs or cries while watching us dart. Maybe his face is stone. Maybe his eyes are as well so they do not find us. Maybe there is but me to the fish, the thrower of the stones of God.
Sometimes I clasp my hands together like I did hers in the pew during the lord's prayer. Her face was light as the church's, but mine had not the strength of its stone.

If you could move anywhere in the U.S., where would you move to?

>>21310408
Probably canada

>>21310432
>in the U.S.

>>21310457
What?

>>21310408
Black Mountain, Shenandoah Valley in CA, Provo, Jackson, Aspen, Big Bear, Catskills and Adirondacks in NY, White Mountains in NH. NH is a good choice financially I think but Black Mountain/Pisgah or upstate near the Adirondacks would be my first choice

>>21310469
The question was
> If you could move anywhere IN THE U.S., where would you move to?

>>21310366
I think we should probably end here. Thanks for the conversation to this point.

>anon ignores sincere conversation to be mad online

My uncle and I were talking about old Sci-fi shows and he mentioned "Space: Above and Beyond" (1995). It ended prematurely (like a lot of sci-fi shows) but I just found out there are five books in the series. I'm wondering if anyone has read them or could recommend them?

Why go on?

I can't come out as bi at this point, its just too embarrassing to admit how I've deluded myself so much all these years. I mean jfc the stuff I've been cooming to, it's just amazing how I managed to rationalise it. Too bad, I really would like a bf

>>21310650
Me too to be honest.

My sexuality is such a mess, I'm honestly happiest when I have no sexual desires. I wish that I could just be happy being alone for the rest of my life but unfortunately I'm probably going to have to find out how to get along with people.

This career has been a waste.

>be me, 22
>turning back time to save best friend's life
>finally arrive 8 years ago
>it's the last day of school before summer holidays
>best friend isn't my best friend yet, just a friend
>catch him around the corner, little nigga is carrying a gun to school
>wtf.jpg
>barely stopping him from killing everyone that day
>say we'll get ice cream tomorrow and have fun
>"are you for real anon? that'd be neat!" happypepe.jpg
>be next day
>go to his "house", it's a trailer in the middle of a junkyard
>knocking
>"oh that's you anon? Thank you for coming ! Do you want some cookies? [friend] is getting ready!"
>best friend's mom is really happy to see me, didn't think she would remember me since I only came once in our childhood
>best friend suddenly appears, "hey anon! let's go get that ICE cream !!!"
>we go get that ice cream
>we pass a turn then a car knocks him over
>best friend was literally ice creamed this time
>tfw

>>21310769
What the fuck

>>21310769
Well at least he didn't shoot up the school. Thats a happy ending in my book

i got rejected. the girl wanted to get to know me better so much, she liked the way i looked, but she decided to think about it and wait, and her feelings waned. mine, however, didnt. all of this i know after the conversation about the relationship between us

i feel so fucking humiliated, like she just wanted to use me because she felt lonely. i am not the most trusting and emotionally open person, and i really felt that this could be something nice. and she was MAD pretty too

i know this whole post may sound pathetic, but i have an urge to vent and i cant talk about this with my friends, posting this anonymously helps a lot

I cannot stop thinking about my mistakes.

>>21310899
>i feel so fucking humiliated, like she just wanted to use me because she felt lonely. i am not the most trusting and emotionally open person, and i really felt that this could be something nice.

I just wanted to believe that maybe you'd be good to me but nobody's ever been good to me in my life and it didn't change with her.

I wish I could shut the fuck up for all eternity. Not in the sense of becoming a mute, rather just speaking up only when functionally necessary to secure my immediate survival and so on (for example talking to cashiers, employers and various service personnel, etc.).
I always find myself either oversharing or creating inappropriate/awkward social situations.

>>21307259
>me and friend discussing the modern whoredom
>him: "you know what's causing all this right?"
>me: the jews
>"exactly but wtf are we supposed to do"
the conversation was so weirdly in sync that despite not ever mentioning them at all that day (and only briefly in other conversations) we landed right there when it came to blame the overly degenerate behavior of western women.

>>21311374
post chins

>>21311418
u can make fun of me but you'll be over here in 2-5 years.

>>21311374
2 Chuds whose minds are mired in the same propaganda ecosystem arrive at the same conclusion.
Woah....
Truly uncanny

>>21307259
Remembering all of my various, regrettable, unhinged rants irl
I really need to shut my mouth.

>>21310907
Same. Should not have signed a year long bond/contract for a job that wouldn't really help me in the future.

There is not a single day that passes where I don't fantasize about crossing her path in the street again and having an honest conversation that would end with us having a long warm hug bawling our eyes out in each other's arms because it's too late to get back together now. In reality, I know exactly how I'd get my soul annihilated because that's the thing with former lovers, they know you, your insecurities, your shortcomings, and your habits all too damned well. She will always have a direct line to my soul. She would say the following, almost verbatim:
>How dare you talk to me again after ditching me like a worthless piece of crap, you cocksucker? What, did you get tired of having reacharounds with your dear lovely pals? Are you looking for more comfort because you haven't graduated from bitch school? No I won't forgive you lol. You're a hypocrite. All you had to do was be a man. Oh you're more in tune with your faith ahahahaha glad I dodged that bullet then. You were never going to be able to protect me. You shouldn't have said that you wanted to marry me, you knew it would hurt. I tried my best to get you to follow what you yourself said was a passion, but again, bitch schooool. You were always a hopeless coward, with or without me. You just had to drag me down along in your whirlwind. Of course I'm not doing well, you ruined what little love I had for life. But hey, at least I got rid of your bullshit. You're a piece of shit at 22, you'll still be a piece of shit at 42. Fuck you. Fuck you again. Should have killed yourself, 0.1% decrease in bitch population, and a guarantee that your bitch genes won't be spread further in the world.
Not even memeing all this. She is vicious when somebody becomes her target.
All I want is to verify her well being, apologize, and maybe hopefully find some sort of closure for both of us, purify our clouded perspectives. It's been 10 months now, I counted, and I still haven't improved myself. I still fantasize and daydream and do jack shit with my life. 22 and still a dropout empty promises piece of shit. I am a dead zone that prevents the transcendent light of life from reaching other's souls. I don't think I will ever be transparent.

I remained a NEET because it always left the door open for exciting possibilities, even if they weren't really going to be concreted in any valuable capacity. I could always do some reading about a niche, think "hmmm that could be a cool way to live", dream about it some more, then onwards with the distractions. Decisions, commitments, are real. By that I mean that they entail sacrifices, you go down one path and forever abandon the others. You understand probabilities through them. And what if you just might have made the poorest possible choice? And now you had to lament what you have chosen to sacrifice?
As a NEET, I was the king of the world in my head. I could be a king whenever I would want to. I could do anything, later. I had "potential".

I can't lie down without my ballsack hurting for some reason. It's been over a month. I'll kms in january if this drags on.

>>21311457
Remembered some more lines
>And who in the hell do you think you are to tell me about what is best for my life? You're nobody's dad, anon. You can't even take care of your own life. Why should I stop drinking when it's most helpful thing around? Because you don't like it, which is because you're a pussy? I can do whatever I want, bro, and you're impotent, the latter might even be literally true lolololol. You can't know what is good for anyone, no life experience bitch boy looking pussy. Accept your position. Men are supposed to lead, and look at you. Look at your limp wrist. Fuck you.

my father is an alderman at the church we grew up in.

I recently learned that he voted in a closed door meeting to not report CSA to the state because they wanted to do their own "internal investigation". This was obviously morally and ethically wrong.

I can't respect him anymore. he's not a bad person, he's just so caught up in preserving his own groups image that he's forgotten all morality. Lowered himself into tribalism and subjectivism.

How do I deal with this? I know it would be all to easy to say to hell with him and keep my principles and conscience clean. But still I do genuinely love him and it breaks my heart that I can respect him anymore.

After doing what he's done, and my mom defending him, I don't know if I want my future children to have anything to do with them since they've shown they don't take the safety of children seriously. just breaks my heart that they've chosen a literal child molester over a relationship with their own fucking child

>>21311374
Just get an asian wife. Drives white women insane when we do that

I'm really annoyed at myself for procrastinating on important stuff and anchoring myself by accepting obligations I could have said no to.

I'm gonna lose my v to a prostitute this week. I'm working up the guts.

>>21311439
Not him. I don't go to /pol/ but you can't possibly deny the aforementioned tribe weren't directly involved in the so called "sexual liberation" movement.

>>21311717
were*

>>21307259
what's the point in living past 23? all heavier forms of music completely lose their edge and it's no longer acceptable to hold any anarchistic beliefs. literally the only three options are conform, die, or assume the role of the weird uncle. it's amazing all of a sudden at age 24 I feel totally uncool despite being a reclusive neet the past six years and doing nothing rebellious or recalcitrant in my life.

I'll admit, I do feel extremely jealous of appealing men. Hot or cute/androgynous, I feel extreme jealousy towards this demographic largely because of how successful they are with everything and that regardless of how terrible they are, people will stand up for them for the sole reason that they look beautiful.
I am just jealous of how everything turned out to be. I'm born to an ugly pair and somehow managed to come out even worse-looking than them. My only purpose in life is to slave away at dead-end jobs, shave my head clean because I'll go bald anyway and either spend my entire time in the gym to compensate for my shortcomings as an ugly man, or enlist in the army and hopefully die in a shootout.
It's really unfair how things turned out to be.

>>21307259
I hate debating irl, & always prefer writing. Irl people try and pigeonhole/label you, and it's extremely annoying. And will make me flustered and loose my footing.
Irl debates people have no interest in the substance of your words, but find the first recognizable marker of a group identity. After that point the other person is no longer talking to you, an individual with his own unique opinions formed by experience, but to an X (e.g: A Realist, An Idealist, A Liberal, or any other kind of label)
After the other person has assumed a position or a school of thought I've never stated, then he/she goes on to make all kinds of assumptions about how I can't possibly believe in all these other ideas.
People are so shit at just listening to what you're directly saying and responding to it.
To give an example, and take the opportunity to vent my rage, from an argument I had that made me seethe.
I said the simple statement which I didn't anticipate being so controversial, that in a situation of scarcity people will opt to defend their own group first, and be less expansive to those outside their own group.
From this the other person preceded to extrapolate that I thought every situation was one of scarcity and that no mutually beneficial arrangements can ever occur.
What then followed was a bunch of hysterical, defensive moralizing where I was presumed to be some kind heartless cynic for merely pointing out the ways group dynamics actually work in a lot of real world situations.

I don’t keep a diary because I’m not important enough to keep one. Why would anyone write a diary just for themselves? I would at least like to pass it down to future generations of family members who fondly remember me or to my future wife. But writing it solely for myself? I’d rather just keep my thoughts between me and God

>>21311863
I've resolved to become an eccentric.

>>21312002
Good luck

why am i such a brainlet? i cant finish a single book, i get 50 or 60 pages in, which takes me like 3 or 4 days because im retarded, and then i want to move onto the next book because im fucking bored and start to force myself.

I’m in the middle of another night of insomnia. At this moment all I want is to talk to someone I deeply love about my torments. I opened Instagram moments ago to see the faces of the 2 girls that I’m interested in but probably have no chance of marrying. I will try to sleep even though I dread the morning. These are my thoughts at 3am tonight.

MYTH: Satan reactively mentions Job.
FACT: God proactively mentions Job.

MYTH: Satan's reactively intervenes and disturbs the God-Job relation.
FACT: God's proactively intervenes and disturbs Job by creating the God-Job relation.

MYTH: Satan tortures Job.
FACT: Inasmuch as God would be totally responsible for Job's non-torture had he totally "restricted" Satan, and totally responsible for his total torture had he not "restricted" Satan, he is totally responsible for his partial torture by partially "restricting" Satan.

MYTH: The text rebukes consequentialism.
FACT: God replacing Job's dead relatives is an affirmation of the most bestial consequentialism.

CONCLUSION: God is Evil and uses Satan as a figurative condom to proactively torture Job.

>>21310899
You'll get past this, anon
I've had similar happen to me, but I ended up dating the girl only for that to occur and I'm similar in that I am not the most trusting or emotionally open person.

The name of the game is exploitation

The script for the kids is indoctrination

Into wage slavery via education

No questions allowed concerning your role

As a human labor cog in the matrix of control

Before you realize its your soul that they stole

Signed your future away with a mortgage and a wife

Who will make sure you play the game of life


And birth some cannon fodder kids, like hay to a scythe

Another brick in the wall to teach you how to die

How to survive and serve the system - not how to thrive

To relinquish your freedom for the nine to five

Shut your heart down and become part of the hive

No human souls around, just pedestrians

No cash to spend, well, you best stay in

Cant see the stars cant hear the birds singing

Shotgunned awake to the alarm clock ringing

As the rivers run dry, dont bother as to why

Youve got bigger fish to fry, like whose gonna die in game of thrones season five

Just another day till "WEVE JUST LOST CABIN PRESSURE"

Inside of our heads lookin like an MC Escher

Wait, which way is up? Mad smile like a cheshire

From the pulpit to the podium of the preist and the president,

"Dont think for yourself" is their line, theyre adamant

Suburban designs to keep us trapped in our minds

Community is dead here have a parasocial relationship instead

Commonwealth has dwindled to a needlepoint

We're FUBAR and im ready to blow this joint

Cant live without screens, theyre keepin tabs on your dreams

Internal our screams. Happiness? Yeah we just dont got the means.

>>21311883
Devote yourself to something beautiful / creative, ya dingus

>>21311975
I can sympathize with this very deeply, and the example you gave is hilarious and shit like that happens to me constanty and youre right about how people are pretty much just itching to label and thereby discard anyone elses thoughts instead of directly engaging

>>21311587
Tell him why you think what he did is very wrong and how it makes you feel about being around him and that you would like to still love him but it causes you a lot of pain now considering his behavior

>>21307330
>no performance
You're joking if you think half the people here aren't the biggest pseuds on the internet, trying to be performatively intellectual. It may not be performance for other people, but it's certainly larping

>>21312358
That may be the case on this board generally but im picking up a lot of sincerity from this particular thread

Also half of them are bots, or may as well be

I never made it cause im made of stone
while you were off living the average
i stood in the rain waiting
a statute cracked and torn

everyday people pass me by
they turn into blurs
melt into the scenery
a bird shits on my shoulder

I DREEAAAMED A DREEAAAAM THAT I COUUUUULD FLYYYY

>>21312396
What a horrific portentous image

>>21312404

>>21312429
I miss that guy. Dude made me laugh

>>21307259
I am the Übermensch

Went to a store, saw some couples on coffee, woman making shapes with her finger on the guy's back, and leaning into him.

Billions must die.

>>21312448
I really do not miss the subgroup of edgy asians he created

>>21312480
No I am

>>21312493
We both are

is there a word to express a sadness over things that you've never had?

Any time I read remarkable biographies, one of the things that make me sort of feel bad is how many of them rose to some challenge but the challenge presented itself when they were fairly young. They had the instincts to rise to it, but when I look at my own life, I just feel as if there's basically been no challenge, no call to action.

I ordered call of the crododile like 6 months ago and it got cancelled now.

>>21307259
I just noticed this yesterday and I can not make a single decision on anything at all and it's slowly taking a toll in my life

A super-volcano will end us, I am sure of it. We wont even see it coming.

>>21312355
the thing is he ought o know. He's in such a bubble that I don't believe he'll listen to me at all because I'm not in his church anymore (thank God)

don't talk to my mom anymore because she was a Personal Care Assistant that didn't report obvious elder abuse to the authorities for pretty much the same reason. Too much paperwork and she'd be held legally accountable for paperwork.

the last she was taking care of died like five years ago and it's past the statute of limitations now.

just so incredibly frustrated at how shitty of people they are. Preached so much about morality growing up, but their actions show the only thing they value is convenience

>>21312662
Fernweh
Hiraeth

>>21312910
Sehnsucht
Saudade

>>21312945
>Sehnsucht
>Some psychologists use the word to represent thoughts and feelings about all facets of life that are unfinished or imperfect, paired with a yearning for ideal alternative experiences
Thank you. This is what I've been feeling all this time.

>>21311457
Seriously bro get out of your abusive household and get therapy. You deserve so much more than a headcase cunt that hates herself to the point of being an alcoholic because she cannot bear her own existence because her parents abused her too.

>>21311457
This is gay faggot shit, being emotional and catastrophizing relationships. Fucking kys.

Well bros its time for me to start the first day of a job I dont want and will promptly quit in approximately 8 hours.

>>21311982
Keep a diary so when they Mindrape you you'll lose memories less quickly

>>21312957
>Therapy
Gay faggot shit

>>21313008
This too. Faggots cry because daddy big daddy put up a giant dick in their ass and pretend to be "traumatized" and "in need of therapy" but this is fundamentally based on a misconstructed world, a world that is not cruel, evil and cold. Like what the fuck did they expect, roses and nice smells? Might as well need therapy because you spilled milk.

>>21313013
>Faggots cry because daddy big daddy put up a giant dick in their ass
speaking from experience, i assume

>>21313022
No, but I had to paint the most disgusting image I could to drive the point home.

>>21313024
Your sheltered life would give you no indication of what someone would undergo therapy for despite your evident need for it, seething at gays as if they personally wronged you

>>21313031
Just replace the faggots with Trump if you are anti-Trumper or something, same thing. Homo Sapiens, and we, me, you are here because we committed genocide against other apes (cro magnon, neanderthals, both have bodies with marks of execution not just killing). That's the foundation of the world. If something less than that breaks your mind, toughen up buttercup

>>21312662
Onism

>>21313013
Going to therapy isn't about a fundamental misconstruction of the nature of the world. It's about coming to an understanding of yourself and how you've developed into the creature that you are by tracing back the incidents in your life that altered your development off the track of normal, healthy, "ideal" human behavior and figuring out how to mitigate the unconscious defensive systems you now have so that you can work towards the life you actually want.

>>21313059
> Going to therapy isn't about a fundamental misconstruction of the nature of the world

It is predicated on it. You go there, "doctor, world is bit fucked" and the doctor is "here, take some pills".

> It's about coming to an understanding of yourself and how you've developed into the creature that you are by tracing back the incidents in your life that altered your development off the track of normal, healthy, "ideal" human behavior and figuring out how to mitigate the unconscious defensive systems you now have so that you can work towards the life you actually want.

Absolutely gay shit guarenteed didn't even read after "coming to an understanding"

>>21313066
therapists do not give you pills, palooka

>>21313043
>>21313066
KWAB

>>21313072
Well yeah they give you a recipe for it I guess.

>>21313043
>haha I'm a fundamentalist I'm not edgy and you just don't understand man
Ok

>>21312976
Holy shit it's already a nightmare. I keep trying to say no to this job but the fucking person wont let mesay no. Now I'm here on some job that isnteven what I was told the work would be, the boss isnt there and I have no fucking idea whats happening. This is fucking ridiculous. Just let me say no. Its fucking embarassing

>>21313078
nigga just make it a comedy segment and try to turn the place into a joke before you eventually leave. at least it would be ballsy and fun.

>>21313066
>You go there, "doctor, world is bit fucked" and the doctor is "here, take some pills".
Guarantee you were given this opinion and haven't thought about it in the slightest. Feel like elaborating on how exactly big pharma is paying off every individual therapist? You're talking out of your ass about things you don't like for no other reason than opposing them like the opinionated contrarian you are

>>21313078
>>21312976
Do it

https://twitter.com/ClownWorld_/status/1595909511998427137

>>21312790
The sun is more active now than any time since our recording it, a CME could wipe out the entire worlds electrical infrastructure and is actually not that low of a probability, the last one occurred in 1860 something

>>21313087
Thats retarded. These mexicans are building a house and I'm some soft handed gringo who wss told I'd be rolling paint on drywall. There arent even fucking walls yet. I called and said wtf and the ritzy land developer told me they actually want me to "clean the yard"
I dont know what that means. I have important shit to do. I told this land developer that I need a small handyman side project to pay for college, not be a grunt on a commercial work crew. I'm really pissed off.

>>21313089
> Guarantee you were given this opinion
Let us not talk who was given what, lol. This is a wholly modern invention. You don't have a condition, you are normal human.

>>21313055
This is excellent too.

>>21307259
4chan ruins lives

>>21313078
I once quit a job after 3 days. It was much worse than what was promised and I wasn't desperate so I quit. I'm a little embarrassed by it still, but it was a bad job so while I would've stuck it out longer in retrospect, I wouldn't have stuck it out for very long.

>>21313089
Not the dude youre responding too but therapy is predicated on the idea that someone knows more about how to live well than you do and this just isnt the case simply because some dude got a degree. If you had to guess that nearly all things within this current paradigm are financially motivated instead of altruistically motivated then you wouldnt be innaccurate at all. Therapy is bullshit, they make you the problem and yes they do try to shove pills on you. "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"

>>21313108
You're still equating therapy with mental illness which is why nobody is taking you seriously

Are there any poetry publications that will stake a submission for publishing before the new year?

I want to get one more submission before 2023.

>>21313119
>Therapy is bullshit, they make you the problem and yes they do try to shove pills on you. "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"
I once thought the way you did and ultimately, no, therapy is only bullshit if your therapist fucking sucks which includes telling you to take pills. Something tells me you aren't speaking from experience. Also, if you're unwilling to accept that you DO have faults which cause you problems, what is the real reason you don't want to reflect on yourself?

>>21313122
I don't need anyone to take me in anyway whatsoever because I'm right and you are wrong it is that simple, sry. If the thing had a parabolic trend line after WW2 it is fake and gay.

>>21313128
Pretending to be a retard now doesn't make what you previously said in full honestly look pretend

>>21313125
I trust myself to better know how to heal myself because i know myself better than any random stranger with a certificate on his wall and also because most people on this planet right now have no fucking clue what human health actually means and are very stupid. Dunno if youve taken a look around lately

>>21313112
This is the second time the land developer has done this to me. I stuck it out for 2 weeks the first time until the mexicans told me they didnt want my work. This is the second time the developer has placed me on a work site I explicitly told her I'm not qualified for. But shes a longstanding family friend who has always been generous with us and so she's making me feel obligated to take her jobs. And thats what is pissing me off. She's giving me a job I dont want and cannot do while using her professional reputation as a way to tell me that I cannot say no, as in:
>I already told the contractor you would be there, Im in bussiness, my word is very important.
Fuck it. Just fuck it. She's just some woman my dad wants to fuck. I'm not working today, I have ton really important college things I need to do this week.

>>21313125
It is literally bunch of spinsters with no eggs living out their mindfucking fantasies you stupid retard.

>>21313147
There's male therapists too you fucking incel

>>21313134
>I am incapable of taking advice from others based on premises I made up for why I should judge them more strongly than others
Should've said so earlier. Don't reply

>>21313150
>>21313147
Do yall know that calling each other names like that makes your appear very immature

>>21313150
The only male therapists in Europe are in the Ukraine - Russia front delivering therapy in neat little 7.62 x 39mm packaging anon.

>>21313155
Sometimes telling someone they're retarded is all you have left because it becomes clear nothing you can say will make them understand your perspective
It's the internet, retard

>>21313153
I trust myself more than others because other people are very stupid. If you dont believe this, youre probably not paying much attention.

>>21313157
Sounds like a Eu problem

The best thing about life is that it's temporary and will end some day. My pain and suffering is as bad as you want Universe, but I win because I eventually cease to exist. Fuck you and see you later maybe.

>>21313159
It makes the person youre talking to inatantly not care about your point.. its a dumb way to talk

>>21313167
How do you know you cease to exist tho
It's not like you killed yourself, find out that you don't exist, and came back (ignoring the obvious contradiction in logic here).
This is a genuine question. I don't understand how people first appear out of nothing and then just assume they know they stop existing after some arbitrary point in time.

>>21313167
You have an immortal soul

Is Atlas Shrugged worth reading for the story?
I don’t really care about Ayn Rand’s political philosophy.

>>21313172
Strange bait or ESL

>>21313161
ok, how u know?

>>21313180
*instantly, what is bait about that exactly? Yall need to learn how to continue talking to people without the need to dismiss them the second you disgree. If you actually valued your own opinion you would have a genuine desire for the other person to understand it and wouldnt sabotage it by being immature

>>21313189
Humans are destroying the planet. They are mired in a scientific materialistic reductionist metaphysics, they are incredibly emotionally unintelligent. The world is very dark right now, and this is indicative of our collective emotional immaturity. I value my own feelings and thoughts about myself more than a stranger with a certificate

>>21313197
>what is bait about that exactly?
Your poor use of grammar and spelling is just as off-putting as the swearing you're complaining about. Pot, meet kettle. It has nothing to do with your opinion

>>21313161
If you don’t believe you are also stupid you may be overestimating your intelligence compared to others.

>>21313179
do you want to read it?

>>21313207
Man yall get real silly about spelling errors. Address the content if you would

>>21313204
huh what you mean

someone make the new thread

>>21313208
I have immense confidence that I am not. For some reason i was blessed with a very sensitive heart. And once again, you need only look at the state of our world to see it

Would you be interested in a youtube channel that was mainly just a girl reading poetry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FI6xJNEiYw

>>21313211
>You're silly for addressing my spelling errors
>Not me for complaining about swearing
Your lack of self reflection while criticizing others' inability to listen to others is interesting to say the least

>>21313210
I’m a sucker for mysteries and I keep hearing that word in relation to it.

>>21313217
A spelling error is a non event to a mature person, "kys retard" is definitely not how to go about things in any conversation

>>21313224
That's your opinion and your own premise about what a mature person is. Implying and assuming isn't what my idea of a mature person does in a discussion.

>>21313225
It is my opinion. People will instantly stop caring about what you have to say if yoi insult them

kys retard is a fair reply

>>21313229
Yes, and my opinion is that insults are the last resort after it becomes clear they won't listen as I said >>21313159 quite some time ago. Continue preaching about not listening though

>>21313234
It adds nothing good to anyones life to hear and is a toxic way to communicate

>>21313239
Maybe the internet isn't for you then

>>21313237
Id wager the person is disinclined to listen or care about what you have to say more because youre the type of person who has no compunction about telling people to kill themselves and you merely assume theyre done listening because its convenient to your immaturity

>>21313242
Not everyone online is toxic

>>21313239
You're the pro-therapy homo I take it

>>21313257
No. I dont take advice from other people because other people are very stupid right now

>>21313263
The herd, the masses, the people have always been stupid and always will be. Barabos won the popular vote for example.

>>21313266
Yes, so why would you go to them to help sort your internal world out? Do it yourself

>>21313273
I wouldn't and I do it myself already. I guess we only disagree about if "kys retard" is a fair reply.

>>21313278
Cool. Its nice to see people who trust their own hearts. And talking that way will get people to not care about what youre saying. If thats not important to you, then have at it.

Drew this a few days ago

>>21313307
great, since you posted it online now tens of millions other people will be able to draw it through stable diffu prompt

I really lost my temper and started yelling threats as loud as I could and now I’m embarrassed. Losing your temper like that is a sign of a weak man.

>>21313307
love it, anon. good work.

>>21313312
What? Or just the two or three people lurking this thread? Im bored is all

>>21313316
Nice self awareness.. did the person deserve a beating though? Ive told bosses off before as i was quitting and ive never regretted it :/

>>21307259
new
>>21313339
>>21313339

>>21313059
>off the track of normal, healthy, "ideal" human behavior
No such thing. Life should be about vigorous unrestrained expression while we have the means, not trying to temper your self with this faggot shit

>>21312349
Good to see others have experienced what im talking about.
Another tendency I experience are people assuming that if you're describing a phenomenon, you're therefore arguing for that phenomenon.
Little reactive thoughtless monkeys.

>>21313141
I don't think you need to work at a job you don't want or need.