/lit/ - Literature

Why bother writing when you can just be direct? The pen is mightier than the sword, as they say.

>>21279371
>I can't put a six month time gap in the story

Lol, this is my main problem. My books all happen in real time without breaks in the timeline, and usually they are mostly conversation, even things like pissing and shitting are routine events because I don't really have any "model" like a book that I have read that would educate me to write in some other style, so the storytelling is locked in the linear real-time style that real life occurs in. This one I tried to make it more action filled, at 60k words it's just one full day and a morning,

I'm not a very successful writer because my marketing strategy is just littering things on social media websites as if people just pick up random trash they find on the streets and read it. This has only worked with the gays so far, but then I also get hard fucked by the censors.

I don't write much anymore. It seems kind of pointless cutting down these trees in an empty forest. To be fair, I don't read shit either, I'm just a narcissist that loves to hear myself talk. My advice is that writing is probably not a useful hobby for anything beyond masturbation of your own ego in private. It's hard to find any audience unless you're very good at pandering to them, like how I would pander to the gays with gay erotica.

In that sort of situation, I feel pigeon holed in writing, in that I'm not writing something myself, as myself, I'm writing something for somebody else, as a panderer, and that generally doesn't express much of my own sentiments since I'm so limited by the constraints of pandering in that I can't upset the audience.

At the very least, the gays are far more agreeable to pander to than any "serious" bullshit subhumans. People who are "serious about shit" always demand the most childlike and dysfunctional arguments be championed just so their basal and childlike ignorance, delusion, and ego can be pandered to without being damaged. Unless your words are no more hard hitting than a gentle blowjob on the cock of a mentally retarded child, then you're going to be hard pressed to find anyone who is willing to read your works.

Granted, I figure if you naturally have the same ideology, and you parrot the same bullshit as one group of peasants by free will, then you might have success, because I did find some success in employing this similar tactic with the gay community. and I find them easier to pander to because sodomy is nothing more than pure hedonism, which is actually a justifiable and empirically valid pursuit when compared to folly such as idealism.

Still, in the eyes of 99% of people, paragraphs are the new Public Enemy #1. Whatever side you're on, all groups collectively hate paragraphs and reading. The few people who read are fragile egotists who need to stroke some imaginary sense of intellectual supremacy because they gargle the balls of some asshat with the ability to rub peanut-butter on his literary balls to the point that the peasants are willing to lick that shit off.

My bad king, I'll delete the other thread I made.
What the hell happened?

>>21279392
Don't know. And I just wrote something up too damn it.

Maybe Gardner (who is, after all, a rogue mod) deleted it out of petty spite.
>>21279389
>6 month gap in story
Put it between chapters.
Start the next chapter with a brief recap of the major events in those six months.
Just a few sentences.
Make it was Dwight V. Swain would call a "sequel", i.e. an interlude between scenes where such summarizations are OK.

>>21279389

Getting barred from the other place I used to shipost, it's pretty gay. I mean, I'm like the gayest motherfucker in town and I'm nowhere near that gay to cry about gay shit like "offensive jokes". The irony is that I wasn't banned for things like sexualizing children, dehumanizing goym, it wasn't even about making pro-child-sacrifice arguments or writing long-winded explanations about the loose and highly misunderstood relationship between Jews and Satan. I was banned for making a joke about Billy Joel. That's how fucking nonsensical the world is. Staunchly argue in favor of the rape and slaughter a billion fucking goyim and nobody cares, but make one joke about Billy Joel and you're books are getting burned on the spot. It's just really dissuasive to try to work in a world where somehow damn near everything is kosher, but blindly stepping on one land mine made of Billy Joel of all fucking people just completely ends your existence.

Anyways, good luck, hopefully you can find some people to gobble up your bullshit, but there's a thousand assholes for every mouth, and they only take the most delicious shit they can find. This doesn't mean "works of high intellectual and literary quality", this means shit that is "psychologically appealing, harmless, and easily digestible", and since none of my shit qualifies under this category, it makes it difficult to find any sort of audience.

>>21279371
It lived in the ocean among the arrays of creatures in the depths. Not with the whales or the sharks or schools of fish, but with the things that never saw the light, that never even knew what the light was, save for the creatures that used it to lure. For darkness was it's corporeal half and it flourished and thrived in that stygian blackness of death. For it truly was death; The death of a millennia of life that has come and gone without so much as a whimper.

For the duration of it's life it was the shredding teeth that tore flesh apart and broke bone, it was the attractive snare that lured in it's hapless prey with a dulcet voice unnatural to it's disposition. It was the consumer of life energy that you would describe as a soul. And it was the stark intelligence of man above in his kingdom.

It's thoughts were foreign at first, completely infantile and new to itself. But with the passage of time, those thoughts started to sharpen with experience and self-criticism. It learned what it's environment was, then it learned the difference between itself and the creatures around it. Then came the thoughts of a hunger that was remorseless, a hunger of a certain thing that lived in the flesh of the creatures it ate. A certain coruscating energy unlike anything it felt within itself. Which led it to ponder if it itself had this energy...this soul.

It was a question that had turned from a gentle curiosity to haunted and tormented thoughts that had caused it to attempt to end itself by letting itself almost fall victim to of the larger predatory denizens of the depths. But in a moment of realization as it's jet-black eyes closed in anticipation of the end of it's life, it realized that it didn't need to have a soul because it was eternal.

The teeth of the predator came down on the titan's head and shattered like glass, causing it to let out a behemoth bellow of pain as it quickly back stroked and fled into one of the trenches.

The titan tentatively let one of it's fins feel the area where the teeth had bit into and felt not a tear or wound, it didn't taste the copper of it's blood. And in that moment of realization of it's immortality, a sudden but refreshing thought became manifested.

If it was truly immortal, it wouldn't need to fear the surface any longer. It wouldn't need to fear what creatures lurked in that alien environment it avoided for centuries.

Always the apex predator of it's home in the darkness, but how would it do in the blinding light? How did it even know what the light was? Perhaps...perhaps it was a genetic memory passed down from it's ancestors but that was hard to say as it's memory of it's existence was a haze. It didn't matter. The titan knew what did and it began it's ascent into the unknown.

sick Byrne

I feel a story in my brain but getting it out is so hard. I see the scene, I feel the words forming to help me describe it, but then I feel so defeated when I finally get the words out.

your writing sucks. peace

>>21279392
I like the top more :)

>>21279406
Too much exposition. Just start with
"The titan lived in the ocean among the arrays of creatures..." None of this "vague" shit that turns people off from reading further. Not bad though, but the pacing is really off. and it feels like you're throwing in random adverbs just to feel "smart"

>write something
>start revising it on the spot for a "better feel" despite knowing what I was going for and the text doing a good enough job to start out with
What do? Listen to the editor and make something that looks right so I can hopefully progress into writing a higher quality base draft?

Writing a YA fantasy novel. How important are sex scenes? Seems like every one of them has a few of them littered about

quick question. If my character is nuts and talking to a pillow, do I capitalize the pillow and treat it as a proper noun or leave it since it's just a regular ordinary pillow?

>>21279651
It's funnier that way. So, yes.

>>21279651
Capitalize, also, have your character refer to Pillow as if that was its name

Rate my prose:

>Mouse. MOUSE. Bounce around the house!

>>21279687
repetitive and mice don't bounce. They can trounce, they can trounce, they even can announce, but no where in the world can they bounce.

You guys see this?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LhLLZvs5iH0

>>21279696
wAatch oUt sHes abOUT tO PoUncE

>>21279707
RRRRRRRRRRIHATEYOU

>>21279687
>>21279707
based
>>21279696
cringe

Line editing makes no fucking sense to me! It feels like the writing becomes worse!

>>21279699
Yes. I’ve been following most of that maniac’s videos. Glorious. He’s already a prolific youtuber. Most ridiculous development of the /wg/ year.

>>21279640
>female/gay male MC
she has to bicker back and forth with the love interest before suddenly sex that is partially hate-fueled, at least the first time
>male MC
slow-burn that involves him achieving things in front of her and culminates in him saving her from a direct, physical threat.

>>21279640
>How important are sex scenes?
Important enough that you would need to explain their absence or use a setting in which it would realistically never come up (like a trip or expedition comprised of same sex heterosexual members).
Young people want to fuck. If you have two sexually compatible characters interact on the regular, your readers will most likely anticipate that you're setting something up.

>>21279906
At least 30% of readers statistically skip past sex scenes if they know they're coming. The blue line is views. The drops are chapters with a disclaimer for NSFW content.

Just don't go writing it out every goddamn time or get your coom in the smutfic corner.

>>21279998
god fucking damnit it forgot the file

>>21279371
I was told to actually check my shit for mistakes and to the best of my ESL hability I did do it
https://pastebin.com/i2AgYJFy
Mr nigger faggot, if you are reading this thank you for the criticism.

>Wrote more today than I did in 2 months
Hibernation mode is probably coming again, but it feels good.

When’s the next F Gardner video?

>>21280199
I unionically love what I’ve seen on his YouTube channel. It’s been a goldmine of autism. There needs to be an F. Gardner wiki to document his daily madness.

>>21280199
>>21280210
No one cares, Frank. Fuck off.

>>21280199
Who gives a fuck. That faggot deserves zero attention.

>>21279371
Why bother writing when you can just be direct? The pen is mightier than the sword, as they say.

>>21279371
Pretty weird the last thread was deleted. Pretty pretty pretty weird.

>>21280008
Except you didn’t fix those two sentences like I said

>>21280458
What the fuck are you even trying to say anon

>>21280199
This is a writing thread, not a spam-shilling thread.
Just report "advertising/begging" and ignore, everyone.

>>21279699
Too bad for him it's not helping him sell "books".
Here's the actual Amazon rankings for his latest brain-dropping:
Day 1: #250723
Day 2: #191277 (hot damn! a sale!)
Day 3: #316013
Day 4: #434243
Day 5: #538055
Day 6: #637984
Day 7: #725627
Day 8: #792891
Day 9: #847099
Day 10: #901112
You can fake subscribers, you can fake views...but you can't fake Amazon rankings.

>>21279371
i wanna write a book where a guy says, "i can't help being better than you."

>>21279371
First page of first draft of a short story I'm writing. I'm planning on submitting it to my school/college magazine, but I need to hear a second opinion first.

Thoughts?

>>21280890
>Sentimentalityies
Now I'm regretting posting something so rough and unfinished

Type it out mate, for fuck's sake.

>>21280890
Nice calligraphy

>>21280890
I literally can't decipher the letters. Man, why not post a word page or anything? Don't make it hard to read what you've written.

Hey guys, my book is free to read if you have Amazon Prime. It's a research based archive with over 230 sources cited, check it out would yah
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B095HD957Y/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=

>>21281277
Read the preview, and to be honest this is complete utter shit. It's not a reference book nor is it written like one. It's useless academically, where this book should be going. There's too much informal writing to be taken seriously, and nobody gives a shit about jellyfish looking like mushrooms. What's the point of this? I would rather just get an encyclopedia.

https://pastebin.com/Pz5Zu2qB
As always, a writer shouldn’t make choices.

>>21281277
Read half the preview.
Bad spelling, bad grammar, bad punctuation, philosophical quotes out of nowhere, schizo topic...
Are you F Gardner under a pen name, or are you trying to move into his territory?

>>21280890
Your prose is excellent, I didn't catch any cringe points or clunky phrasings. If you kept this style up and did something interesting with it you could probably get published or something

>>21281412
Gonna pile up on this.
Stating the point you were trying to make says you don't have confidence in your book's ability to drive it on its own OR in your readers' capacity to grasp it. Plus you are already restricting the way people should interpret your book.

How much world building is too much? Should I study tax policy and language construction?

>>21279371
Hey everyone! My first chapter just went up on Royal Road. This is my first time presenting my writing here. If anyone's willing to give it a try I would appreciate any feedback, critique, etc.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/61111/prince-of-steel

>>21281558
>Should I study tax policy and language construction?
Only if those kind of details are relevant to the story or you are a tax/language autist and can derive genuine enjoyment out of it

>>21281573
I don't read much fantasy, but I do like it. It's also nice it's not in first person like so many others are

>>21281573
Fantasy shit.
Purple prose opening that doesn’t make sense. Her touch is like a stinging flower petal?
>Light the kindles!
YWNBAW KYS

>>21281615
>Purple prose
how esl do you have to be to find that purple

>>21281558
>tax policy and language construction
Tolkien is that you?!
>>21281602
hmm, a quite interesting perspective
the problem is that if you want knowledgeable persons to read and enjoy your writings, every detail should either be perfect or not included

>>21281558
>not writing a fantasy novel where a economist and tax collector defeats the dark lord through finance and greed.
The Jew always wins.

>>21281636
>every detail should either be perfect or not included
True, but also every detail should be relevant to the story in some way. If you're writing about the concerned father who has to help his coomer son overcome his crippling porn addiction, do you really need to go on a tangent detailing the complex state finances of the fantasy kingdom they live in?

>>21281366
Well, it's loaded with strange ideas like a timeline for Venus earth and mars sharing a time in history where they all had habitable conditions for life, and I use sources cited to argue for them, and you will find lots of ideas here that you would have a hard time finding other places and as condensed
>>21281412
Nah just wanted to write a really crazy book and when the pandemic came had time
>>21281489
I was sortof just describing the book in the intro, it's certainly not an ordinary book in the sense of science or literary fiction

Thanks for the feedback

>>21281558
No and no, jesus fucking christ. le ebin r/worldbuilding is for faggots who will never actually write anything so they eternally procrastinate telling themselves they're "working on it" by "worldbuilding"

>>21281615
>seething this openly
dumb bucket crab ngmi

>>21281643
Just like this Star Trek episode!
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/The_House_of_Quark_(episode)

>>21281636
>if you want knowledgeable persons to read and enjoy your writings
I think you want to write an academic paper m8

Guys, I got a partial request on my novel.

And it only took 62 rejections!

Going to die if this ends in another rejection.

>>21281713
What? Only 62? That's really good.

>>21281713
I kneel. Best I got is my mom telling me she liked the short story I wrote about the war.

>>21281713
If anything just self-publish.

>>21279371
Why was the last thread deleted?

>>21281573
>In this tale of decay there are no heroes. Only suffering, sorrow, and strife.
I like some of your ideas but you should quit the dark fantasy shit, man. But I particularly like the idea that they "fought an evil equal to their own nine years ago", and the story takes place in the aftermath of that. Keep writing, see where it takes you, lad!

>>21281713
Good luck. I hate this industry.

>>21281721
Danke!
>>21281722
I would recommend shilling out for help with the query letter. That thing is more difficult than writing the novel.
>>21281728
I'll be looking to do that, if I cannot find a trad deal. The dying will just be due to actually being judged on my writing now, rather than just my initial marketing to get someone to read my book.

>>21281780
So how did you letter differ this time from the rejected ones?

Do any of you fags have junk short stories which you're never going to publish for a fellow faggot who want to make short films?

>>21281805
no i just write short stories to shitpost

>>21281805
I wrote a short story about fucking your mom but the publishers all said it’s been done before

>>21281783
Got away from synopsis territory. Honed in on the three most important characters, the main story arc, and the characters' goals/motivations in relation to it. No more than 400 words.

And then presenting the whole thing either flippantly or with exaggerated drama.

>>21280890
not reading handwriting dude

>>21281805
Is that really your sales pitch?
I think it needs work.
You deserve nothing better than the /lit/ anthologies.
https://archive.org/details/@_lit_anthology
Maybe a few are filmable. I kind of doubt it.

I can't take it anymore. I've made accounts for my pen name on many platforms, but my self-hatred prevents me from shilling myself. It feels like writing job applications. There's nothing nice to say about me or things I did.

>>21281881
Someone just posted their dark fantasy schlock. Post your shit or die.

>>21281847
>No more than 400 words
My last query was just 47 words. Too brief?

>>21281927
Slightly.

300-350 is ideal.

>>21281929
I can't imagine how that could be anything other than a summary of the plot at that length.

>>21281936
Because half of it is meant to be comparative titles and potential market.

>>21281947
But I don't have a marketing degree
What the fuck

>>21281956
Yeah, I know.

They expect you to read various new books in the genre you've written in, so you can say "mine is like x and y."

>>21281966
>in the genre you've written in

>>21281969
I know. I hate most modern lit and have been struggling through horrid book after horrid book.

Comp have to be no older than 3 years, so, nothing classic or good counts.

It's like a pyramid scheme. Want your book published? Make sure you buy my other authors' books first.

>>21281966
And what do you get, exactly, from having done their job FOR them?
They're just going to throw your book on Amazon, exactly as you would if you self-publish.
Sure, they'll put your book in bookstores...the 2 or 3 that are left after Amazon wiped the floor with them.

>>21279371
Good writers write their work. Bad writers talk about their work. I wonder which this thread is filled with.

>>21282023
The same kind that fill your mom's fat pussy every day after she drops you off for soccer practice

>>21282023
Hey I'm just taking a break (procrastinating) from finishing the very last chapters of my book. For the vast majority of it I simply wrote as the muse directed me - which was fun - but now I know exactly how its going to end and I just need to muscle those events onto the page - which is exhausting.

i want to write a story about a guy who thinks he's tyler durden, but every time he gives someone advice or tries to change their life, it always fails or backfires miserably. Anyone want to help me get a list together of about 40-70 odd ideas?

>>21281956
Tradpub has degenerated to a point where they expect you to do all the work for them and they barely provide any of the support you would typically expect. It's. A. Scam.

I was gonna link an image here, but >21282022 already did the exact one.

>>21282056
>he said, talking about his work

>>21282103
I reject the premise of your tautology

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbAhc0PQ_g

F Gardner’s taking questions for a Q&A. What should we ask him?

>>21282140
What is love?

>>21282140
why is this disgenic fuck wearing a kimono?
on the other hand from the thumbnail it looks like he lost weight, so good for him

>>21282176
F Gardner’s Buddhist. That’s probably why he has the kimono.

>>21282186
>buddhism
>kimono
uh...
you could have just said he's a weeb, that would make some sense

>>21279406
Do you read H.P Lovecraft by any chance?

>>21282176
Because F Gardner is Japanese.

>>21281712
not really, the same applies for proper journalism
also details exist in multiple layers of abstraction; it's important that the detail is correct, even if it's just mentioned for color
an academic paper needs sources for all its details, it's woven entirely from the strings of reality... while in literature you may include your humble self as an agent
>>21281655
well, everything is relevant to the story in some way!
maybe you wanted to say "relevant to at least two of the characters"?
the complex state finances of the fantasy kingdom may or may not be relevant to the concerned father and his coomer son: would he still be concerned if it was another state financial system? would the son still be a coomer if it was another state financial system? would their relationship be the same or different if it was another state financial system? not to mention all the mediating factors between the son and the father, mediating factors that can be moderated by the state financial system
but if the only relevance is that the father grew hungry when he was doing his taxes, and he spotted his son beating the weasel on the way to the kitchen... no detailing the complex state finances of the fantasy kingdom they live in is necessary

>>21282272
I've been meaning to read his stories or at least listen to them. I have a couple audio stories of his. But he does inspire me, if you must know. I always wanted to dabble in cosmic horror because to me that's one of the few ultimate horrors to apprehend.

>>21282381
Wayne June (the narrator from darkest dungeon) has a bunch of readings of lovecraft's works on yt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq5_iA_wF5o

>>21279392
poetic and gay. Lovely

>>21282394
Oh wow, thanks anon!

>>21282410
Writing is for faggots

>>21282425
if you're bad at it

>>21279392
>trying to shoehorn film-making conventions i.e. montage of variable shot lengths
no.

>16 years old
>83k words in 30 days
>3 published books
>penguin picked her up
>agented

How the fuck does she do it? How are people writing so well?

How does /wg/ go about planning out their writings or novels? Or are you the type to get straight into it?

>>21282508
First I think of three themes that can intersect. Then I create seven characters.
I figure out what they have. I figure out what they want. I create one grand scenario which forces them to decide how they will obtain what they want. This will create all the inner-conflict I need to propel the meta-conflict. Minor characters, world-building, etc.. All develop naturally as I write, as these things are tools to propel forward themes and people- not lock them into particular autistic sets of rules like Uilililia. If you're worried about plot holes or failed threads, that's cleaned up in editing. Manipulating your finished work is easy- making a finished work is harder because it requires the time. Weeks of outlining will not save you months of writing- it's merely delaying your writing.

>>21282458
An excerpt from her published book: https://pastebin.com/Wg3UGHAc

>>21282523
>Three themes, Seven characters
I appreciate the method, but why this number specifically?

>>21282570
If I need to explain that to you, I'm sorry, but you're ngmi

>>21282541
Her prose is better than 99% of YA authors desu.

>>21282541
She's very good.

>>21282140
Ask Gardner to give /wg/ a shoutout.

>>21282541
>>21282458
took a glance and i can understand how she writes that much so fast
but now imagine how cool it would be if she actually had a soul!

>>21282665
But then she wouldn't have a book deal.

>>21282570
One theme dominates, one theme permeates, another theme is usually sacrificed mid-way. So long as you can intersect them at the conceptual stage, it doesn't matter which of the three is sacrificed- or if any of them need to be sacrificed at all- it's just good to work with three at the start so your work doesn't change tone half way through.
Seven characters- six characters in various stages of adhering to one moral/objective/side or the other. They will steer and inform the audience, and the seventh character, of the world and provide opportunities for the seventh character to take or not to take- which will drive forward the story.

Everything else in a work is an elaborate set up to make characters change. Character variety, stripped to its essence, is a character on the ascendant, a character who has ascended and is living their embodied virtues/morals/ethics, and the character who is on the descendant. How, when, or why these characters are at these stages are entirely up to you and are best solved organically as you write, and then proofed when complete.

>>21282665
It's good contemporary fiction where she basically writes about her life.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rA7vt3QF2O8

HAPPENING
This should be good.

>>21282774
The F Gardner YouTube saga has somehow become my favorite thing produced from this place.

>>21282774
If you've got so many YouTube subscribers/viewers, how come you still need to shill-spam here?
Is it because your subscribers/viewers are as fake as your book-reviews were?

>>21282742
>she basically writes about her life.
yeah that's my point... if we force semantics a bit and call what she is doing "life"
>>21282683
that's kind of okay, meaning that A.I. writers help persons like her get a soul (after they lose their livelihood)

>>21282774

>300 subscribers from a couple days

Not bad. I don’t know how F Gardner’s doing this so consistently especially if he’s still writing. But that man is good at pumping out a lot of schizo content.

>>21282774
only a week in and he's more entertaining than the Unreal guys

>>21282926
Don't let L.A see this. He's already not handling his post-transition issues well.

>>21282774
>>21282787
can't believe this guy is real
ever since i've seen the crocodile cover I thought it was a meme (/lit/ photoshop)
:|

>>21282774
boy I love writing generals where we talk about ytubers I’m such a fucking retard

>>21281573
Added to the pastebin.

My anthology is up to 275 pages and I’m still not close to being done. I wish I had more time to write with work and school going on but I’m still getting 1000-3000 words a week done

Holy fuucccck. F Gardner’s a youtuber now?

If Peter Pan meets Alice Liddel, what happens?

>>21283357
He knows the meaning of success

>>21281046
Alright. Do be aware that my knowledge of military life starts and ends with Hemingway's Farewell to Arms

>>21283803
I like it. Some very minor punctuation errors, (as an example, commas go inside "blah blah blah," said the man) but the stakes are clear and I'm interested in finding out what happens next.

just paid my editor to go through my entire book and remove all punctuation to be more like cormac

>>21279371
>RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS
>The Anatomy of Story, Truby
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q07y1JFeEE
Interviewer:
>What's the best script you've seen on screen shit year?
Truby:
>Hunger Games and Avengers

Absolute beginner here, I have a question:
I know that one of the best ways to expand your vocabulary and develop your style is to read a lot of books, but is there a better approach than just passively reading?
I already keep a list of all the passages that I particularly like, but I feel like it's not enough.

>>21284293
that is a very Chinese question

Please refrain from value judgements.

>>21284293
You can either learn another language, read the dictionary or study etymology.

>It's 11am
>Close /lit/
>Starting writing
>40 pages including editing
>7am

Why can't every night be like this?

>>21279640
Depends on if you're writing a series or not. If you are, then the first book is usually more about building up the relationships and sexual tension. I've read YA trilogies where the protagonist and love interest barely do anything more than kiss in the first book. If it's a standalone, things are expected to move faster.

Before you fall into the same trap I have, you're not writing a straight male MC, are you?

>>21284337
degenerate

>>21284331
Considering that I have grown to appreciate the East-Asian education system, you are not too far off.

>>21284388
Thank you for your suggestions.

>>21284399
I am writing a straight female MC.

>>21284398
>40 pages
>pages

>>21284293
Go full schitzo and start agrandising your inner monologue in the most pretentious way possible. Gives you a lot of inspiration for descriptive passages and emotive language.

>>21284337
I'd read this if it were formatted better. I'm not a professional anything, but having somewhere between 10-12 words per line in much easier to read.

>>21284398
Proud of you, Anon. Keep up the pace.

I did 1400 words today. I've discovered that a 5500 word short story is a pretty comfortably sized thing to do.

>>21284337
>many anons here [...] always describe
The "many" renders the "always" meaningless. Those don't go together.
>green text
I only ever see it spelled "greentext". Don't trust spellcheckers for niche vocabulary.
>many
>uniquely
>really
>finally
>seriously
>most
>of course
>quite
>totally
>to some extent
You overuse these intensifiers. A few here and there would be fine, but at this density they're distracting and flavorless.
Consider ripping them all out and only adding back in the ones that leave holes.

when do i get my phone call? i want my phone call with Travis

There is a man laying on the couch. Held between his two hands is a slate of illuminated glass. His thumbs quickly tap the glass with staccato rhythm. The man is writing some paragraph of some tortured prose. He recalls the lessons of dead white men, with all their rules, and rules broken. This paragraph is taking form, in present tense, and active voice, with pleasant pause in commas. Next are a proverbial belly, wherein the man’s neurosis is digested by the subconscious. Perhaps this sentence, he hopes, is enough to convey the fear of posting. Next are a trials of exposition and one he prefers in thirds. One, this man is writing to flex the biceps and triceps of a natural writer. Secondly, to pass the time, as prose is its own enjoyment. Lastly, and thirdly, to demonstrate what actual writing looks like; Beyond the CTRL + V of some unfinished fantasy thing from some text file. There, the man thinks, finally we reach the womb. The cunt of your mother, specifically, dear reader, whom the man reminds you was used, and ejaculated wherein, to make even you. The man rests for a moment, contemplative of your mother’s vagina, and continues tapping the glass. Here at the zenith of the paragraph, the man finds what he needs, a formed paragraph, and time spent, wasted of course on chan of all places, but better spent than idly scrolling, or masturbating, or sleeping, but worse than reading, or editing, or perhaps that walk he’s putting off. He looks down and sees the white cable hanging from the bottom of the glass slate. Of course, he cannot leave for the walk, until the glass is charged with electricity, so he continues tapping instead. Now he hopes for an apotheosis, to become a living god, but there is no absolution in shitposting. There is no god here except the torrents of children pleading their ego for validation. It dawns on the man, simply and equally quiet, he is now no different from the screechers he so disdains. When he hits the blue Post button, he will become one with the universe of anonymous and terrible writers. The man needs a rescue from without, but it will not come. There is no return through the threshold, except, perhaps, pressing the blue Post button. Then he may stop tapping, and find peace in this boilerplate. When you read these words, dear reader, the man on the couch has stopped tapping, and his world, and your world, temporarily become one. The man will have stood up and went for that walk.

>Decide to spend the day productively
>go to the Uni's library and sit in the quiet studing room
>first, read a book for two hours
>decide to start writing
>start feeling anxious, what if someone looks at my screen?
>look around, the girl behind me theoretically can see my screen if she looks at the right
>I know she doesn't care, she probably won't look for more than three seconds even if she notices I'm writing
>Feel anxious as fuck
>write 100 words at most
>get a headache, feel judged even though no one cares, out of 5 hours only 10 minutes was spent writing
>go home by a bus, write 300 words while on the way

Bros, I thought writing in a library would be easy. Instead I got anxious as fuck, literally can't cope with the thought people would be looking at my screen.

I will try again tomorrow, this time sitting at the last place so that no one sits behind me. Gotta cope, somehow. I will try to write in the evening, despite my headache.

>>21285503
Good

>>21285528
It's okay I laugh at my own writing in Starbucks. The baristas think I'm crazy

>>21285555
You’re very cringe and pathetic

>>21285528
>What if someone looks at my screen
This is exactly why I can't get any writing done in the places where I am most productive. If I could just not care about some gossipy girl looking at my shit I would be twice as productive.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-RWRmdpZk0M

Fucking kek.

>>21285575
>in a bathrobe
>hair unwashed
>sonic the hedgehog
guys, I think I figured it out. I think I know what's going on. F. Gardner's an autist. yeah, I know, mind blown.

>>21285558
It's okay at least I get my writing done.

>>21285575
>>21285597
Maybe he should marry CWC

>>21285722
maybe talking about ytubers means you’re a retard zoomer

This is the first act of my short story. How is the pacing? Is it entertaining? Is there tension? Does it make you want to keep reading? How can I improve it, especially the characterization?

Password is 1234

https://dickhicks.wordpress.com/2022/11/21/part-1/

>>21285068
Thanks! Great advice.

>>21285722
God that would be so hot. Prisoners are allowed sexual visitations if the Bundy docs are to be believed.

>>21285503

I see what you did there.

>>21285575
Holy shit

Masturbation

In chilly rains
of November's front,
the fronds all swoop to sway.
They peek in through
the window to see -
I'm passing by the day.
In sweet silence
I journey in thought,
lost on my own command.
They'll sadly see
just the worst of me:
my penis in my hand.

>>21286134
That’s awfully prudish and puritanical. Bet you’re white.

>>21286134
On this seat
I beat my meat
While foolish, fetid
Self-hating morons seethe

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WErCPysLGMY

No fucking way. He’s actually doing a q&a now and going full fucking retard

>>21286237
i can't say i approve of the existence of this fellow

>/wg/ will never see any more works in progress
>This is a Gardner, shit posting and crabbing general

>>21286319
>25 minutes in
ok, maybe i can't say i don't approve... but he should seriously start talking 20 minutes before recording (to warm up and whatnot)

>>21286387
this lol
I have WIPs but no way in hell am I posting them here when it's all fucking Gardnerposting

>>21286237
Frank, stop posting this shit here man.

>>21286520
my work is so shit I don't even know why I haven't dropped it yet.

Sure. This is just smack in the middle of my 1000 word a day quota.

Herny and Saoirse pressed inside city hall for debriefing. Saoirse was surprised to find most of the real estate effectively handed over—or perhaps commandeered—by influencers and corporate interests, and Henry grumbled in passing. The expo showcased gunsmiths, armorers, alcohol distillers, streamers, screamers, laughers, used car salesman, and an alleged scientist who claimed to develop a revolutionary [either jet fuel or synthetic lubricant that heightens pleasure by a hyper-specific integer, several decimal places]. Also present were the delegates of the sex shop, Fuckingham Palace, a pig-masked gypsy girl taking donations to renovate the Pacer’s Athletics Club, hairdressers from the Girlfriend Hooked Me Up Salon, Santarpio’s Pizza, and their adversary, Pizza Come. Lastly, a large cordoned unit was devoted entirely to Disney Searchlight, the financiers of Bonzai Bonanza, and their newest range of excellent products you cherish organically. Uncle Remus 2, Disney on Ice, a pornographic zoophile version of Beauty and the Beast called Beast in the Beauty, and two unique renditions of that animated classic, Alladin. The first was entirely cast with negroes and non-whites (including one east Asian) and minorities, sexual or otherwise. They changed the setting from Agrabah to Wakanda and renamed it Black Alladin is King. In the second remake, everyone was caucasoid, except for the single Asian, again reprising his or her same role from Black Alladin. Other characters had their names changed reflexively, like Alladin to Adam, Jasmine to Jessica, and so forth. They affectionately billed this rendition as Orignal Alladin.

Saoirse wasn’t interested in these things but couldn’t help but gawk at ephebophile auctioneering as three teenaged streamers took bids on their virginity. Two pussies, and one boy pussy, respectively, to the elderly statesmen of Disney Searchlight and other investors. Jew. One streamer claimed to be a deepthroat specialist, and the boy insisted he could snap a carrot deposited into his back end, and this roused some cursory interest. This is what we enjoy here; it’s what we live for. The treatment of the sale? Well, routine, as the occasional pervert folded their bid on the provided cards and slipped it into the slotted box.

Past that and all the wares was one meager room devoted to security where a dozen hardened men and womenfolk inspected logistical data, monitors, camera feeds, and prepared weaponry. Saoirse recognized a few professionally, but she and Henry were the only former Brookliners, and relief overcame her. A few tendered judgmental looks, motivated by the cargo of her uterus or her former associates, but they said nothing. Perhaps terrified of the functional giant at her side.

>>21286761
the fuck I just read?

is it believable if I say that a ship travelled a week from Niigata, Japan to Sokcho, South Korea?

>>21286938
Ask google maps ya fuck

>>21286939
There are no travel routes that I can find that don't go to Fukuoka-Busan. I'll just give a blind estimate since it's fiction anyway.

>>21286761
Looks like a libertarian/neo-liberal paradise.

>>21286761
Some of it is a little sloppy, but great for a first draft. For example:
>One streamer claimed to be a deepthroat specialist, and the boy insisted he could snap a carrot deposited into his back end, and this roused some cursory interest.
you could clean this up by removing nebulous things like claims. we can also remove some filtering words. I'm guessing you're thinking about your prose enough where you're very aware of the clinical style, but you could probably shave it down a little
>One streamer was a deepthroat specialist, and the boy could snap a carrot deposited into his back end, and this roused interest.

Just throwing a section of my rough draft out here that I'm cutting due to revealing something about the word I decided to build up to revealing much later. It's unedited, and, again, very rough. I think I'll miss the descriptions of the combat the most, but I've plenty more anyway and I'm still keeping this in my "cut content" folder.
Still, even though I'm not keeping it, input could be good to hear. I'll dole out some input in another post.

https://pastebin.com/8c8Q0K39

>>21282458
They're not writing well, they're trending on booktok with YA Queer Rep Etc bullshit. The publishing industry is in a degenerative state similar to that of TV and film and media in general - it doesn't need to be good, just fill up hashtags and make instant sales.

>>21282774
The F in F. Gardner is Fuckengoat

>>21287203
This is so true it hurts. Can't think of a worse time to be a genuine creative who isn't trying to churn out tend followers or memes. And I'm not saying genuine creative to sound elitist, just that 5 out of 10 fantasy stories are copy paste, shitty and unoriginal Tolkien-esque ones, 4 of them are really, really bad science fiction, and one of them might actually be something relatively original. None of that even touches on themes and styles either. It's just a shitty time to wanna write.

>>21282541
I really don't like female prose. Every little action is described and in the most over the top way, so I end up imagining every character as some flaming theater kid throwing a 24/7 tantrum.

>>21287022
>One streamer claimed to be a deepthroat specialist, and the boy insisted he could snap a carrot deposited into his back end, and this roused some cursory interest.

One streamer claimed to be a deep-throat specialist, capable of snapping a carrot in his rectum, which roused some cursory interest.

>>21282140
This is somehow the most entertaining YouTube channel I’ve seen in a long time. Possibly years.

anyone wanna read the first chapter of my ancient fantasy novel? It's meant to be alienating and weird because it starts off with the main character at home in his psycho cult - some of my test-readers immediately spotted what was actually going on with regard to the worldbuilding, some didn't.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQOduKsiK9Fj4Qa8LmWWZsFq-W2Ak9wvQQQancElblRcU0F0-ZQC1jg6bMRwp67mDbLjmfiOIHdzGT2/pub

>>21281956
Publishers these days actually expect most authors to do their own marketing, hence the rise of booktok/social media/buzzword descriptions. Their "marketing departments" (which are a fucking joke) only work for well-established big-name authors. Barnes and Noble even have a new deal going wherein they won't even stock debut novels unless they're the top 1 or 2 selling from each publisher - the industry is really in a shambles right now.
t. i don't personally work in publishing but i have a few friends who do - most of whom have since quit their jobs or left the industry, and some writer friends who have sold short stories in the past.

Meanwhile, the Reylo Fanfiction Author who made bank off her name-swapped fanfiction despite the fact that no editor actually bothered to fact-check the very first scene in her story, which was completely based on an unrealistic factual error that even me, a normie without a STEM degree, knew would never happen. the book was praised by booktokers for "a realistic depiction of STEM academia" when the oncology lab was pouring research solvents down the drain into the municipal water supply. Check out Lightlark if you want to see an even more demoralizing example of shit writing getting big bucks.

>>21284398
>It's 11am
>7am
You wrote 20 hours? hardcore man

>>21287306

Sour grapes, incel?

What is the point of writing when everyone is a low IQ feminized hedonistic nigger with the attention span of a goldfish? Do you faggots write porno?

>>21287568
yes
i dont liek de prose becaus no boosy :(

>>21287573
Try to imagine this

Just for a moment

Like, dude, what if

just what if

as a play of thought

what if you wrote because you LIKE it?

Unbelievable, right?

Guys, I wrote a short story and I'd like to receive critique from online strangers. What's the best way and place to do this (pastebin raw text, link to epub, webstie, etc)? I'll admit, I've lurked a bit but haven't noticed what the preferred method is

>>21279403
>so I'm a freshman in college and I decide... so I decide...
jesus

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q7kILRhmzy8

New F Gardner Kino

>>21287478
the oncology lab does WHAT

>>21287694
Based.

>>21279389
>At the very least, the gays are far more agreeable to pander to than any "serious" bullshit subhumans. People who are "serious about shit" always demand the most childlike and dysfunctional arguments be championed just so their basal and childlike ignorance, delusion, and ego can be pandered to without being damaged. Unless your words are no more hard hitting than a gentle blowjob on the cock of a mentally retarded child, then you're going to be hard pressed to find anyone who is willing to read your works.

this resonates. people just want 'he/she is literally me!' but what is literally them is terribly vacuous and uninteresting. childlike and dysfunctional as you say. though i feel children have a far more open sense towards the grotesque than 'serious' types. they want shit to read like their minimalist rental apartments

>>21287466
>Publishers these days actually expect most authors to do their own marketing, hence the rise of booktok/social media/buzzword descriptions.
If that's the case why not just self publish? I would use booktok, but I'm already on Instagram, Twitter Facebook, substack, and all waste of time . Most interaction I've gotten was Instagram, so I'll be focused using that

>>21287314
The way it's worded, it's two different subjects.

>>21287704
he's right

>>21286761
This is the type of schizoshit I hope for on /wg/ but we seldom get. It needs a pass, but it's good.

>>21288103
The only reason to self publish is to apply for national artist welfare. Lots of countries have grants for writers, but you can't get them if you're unpublished.

>>21288169
God fuck I have to be living in the USA...

>>21288169
My country has artistbucks but it's gotta be in the native language and targeted at local release so fuck that lmao

Tell me the secret technique to good prose NOW.

>>21288298
I haven't figured that out yet.

>>21287364
I just read first few paragraphs but clarity wasn't there for me:

>A familiar cry rang out in the Holy City.
Familiar to who? What kind of cry? I can't visualize (audioize?) such a vague idea, and it also doesn't shed light on any characters.

>The blackwater looked up. A flat coral sun hung low in the haze; a circle of vultures hissed above its head. It rose from its labor, flicking maggots from its fingers,
This was my main issue. Blackwater is not capitalized or described separately so I assumed it was literally a black river/lake being described along with the sunset - which then made me confused ans think the sun was flicking maggots. Took a reread to understand.

>dusty circle of children waited
A circle of dusty children. It is not a circle that is dusty.

>>21288298
You just have to feel it

>>21288298
You write your text, then you read it back, you notice it kind of sucks, you stare very hard to determine which parts bother you the most, you try out improvements. Rinse and repeat.
Taste leads practice.

>>21288298
What I do is copy down bits of prose I like and then try to play adlibs. It usually results in nonsense but it's fun and I can feel it starting to creep into my work.

>>21288298
Just write good

>>21288298
Prose is subjective and means very little. Even Gardner's prose has fans

This is the first act of my short story. How is the pacing? Is it entertaining? Is there tension? Does it make you want to keep reading? How can I improve it, especially the characterization?

Password is 1234

https://dickhicks.wordpress.com/2022/11/21/part-1/

How do I get my shit criticized without the fear of someone stealing it?

>>21288317
It's familiar to the blackwater - the blackwater holds a very specific role and performs a certain duty in the cult, which isn't fully explained until a few pages later and isn't capitalized for the same reason the character uses "it" as a pronoun and describes itself as "your blackwater" in speech.

>>21288481
I think a priority right now should be better prose, some of these sentences are awkward or confusing to read.
>Dom watched her cook as he impatiently fiddled with his fork and empty plate.
"her cook" could be a noun, "her personal cook". Or it could be watching someone cook. Which is it?
More importantly, I don't know who "her" refers to yet, so I can't understand this sentence. I actually had to read it a couple of times to get it!
>Inside his sharp jaw salivated his mouth
Inside what? Or what is the thing that salivates?
>He had a long oval face and wore even rounder spectacles
Rounder than what? You didn't call his face round.
And it's not that interesting for glasses to be perfectly round, so it's wasted emphasis.
>He was not by all means an overweight man
by any means
>the rich and flavourful odours
"Flavourful" is a little weird and already implied by the fact these are rich food scents, just "rich" would work well enough I think.
>the mountains of work he had been sordidly given by his coworkers
Can you really give something in a sordid way? The word has connotations of dirt and grime, I think it doesn't quite fit.

>>21288494
What are you worried people will steal? Your idea? The text itself?
Ideas aren't very valuable without execution, and even most things worth doing have already been done by someone somewhere.

>>21287963
>people just want 'literally me'
hi! so you're actually hitting on a very important, antique concept, known as 'archetypy!'
before video games, people would actually project themselves into a story, similar to how you see something from your point of view in a first person shooter! millions of dollars have been spent researching the most lucrative of these archetypes to portray in narrative Hollywood films!

>>21279371
Bros :'(

>>21288605
FLACCID

>>21288535
Novels are not Hollywood films. They don't even have close to the budget. A character can be extremely different from the reader, yet be written human enough for the reader to find sympathy with them. Because people actually read to expand their horizons and learn about other people, shocking I know.

>>21288627
I've gone limp. I got to the end of what I had outlined and can't figure out where to go next. I've had like three false starts that I've deleted. No idea how pantsers do it.

>>21288634
I don't even think you read a word I wrote you little autistic fuck

>>21288605
>People are itching to write 1k a day
Why??? You should be fighting for paragraphs.

>>21285503
>apotheosis
stopped reading right there because idk what that word means..

>>21288695
means becoming chad but spiritually

>>21288521
thank you. Damn I need a beta reader for everything i write dont i

>>21288695
that is the behaviour of a 12 year old

>>21288680
Seems like your process requires of a thorough pre planning phase. You should pause the writing and do some outlining

Is this entertaining? How would you improve it?

Dom felt a twitch in his pants. He placed his hand on his crotch as he watched Priya walk back to the kitchen.
I want so desperately to fuck that huge ass.
Then she turned all of a sudden.
“I’ve burnt it!” Her shocked voice was loud and crisp, and both men rushed in.
But Dom, who was much taller than either of them, saw the red mark on the woman’s hand and felt his previous training as a doctor overtake him. He pushed aside Rishi and took hold of Priya’s slender forearm. He pulled her closer to his hard muscled body so that her big bosom was squished against his beating chest.
Before she could react, Dom bent her over the sink and turned on the cold tap. She slumped as the water sank into her hurt flesh. Her back was arched and her clothed ass hung in the air between the two men as she moaned with the same relief of an itch being satisfied.
“Let me help,” Rishi asked weakly. His small hands reached out to grab hold of his wife’s shoulder, but Dom pulled her body away from him.
“No need. Go back to doing your homework.” Dom snickered. “You’re wife will be alright with me.”
Priya glanced over her shoulder, “It’s okay, baby, Dom here is a trained medic. He knows what he is doing.”
“That’s right,” Dom’s fierce eyes tore themselves away from Priya’s round bottom to the good husband. “You’re distracting me. Please, I need all the space possible to do the procedure.”
“What procedure?” Rishi asked bewildered. “It’s just a slight burn.”
“It hurts! It’s just medical terminology, Rishi. ” Priya shrieked. “Please leave the kitchen Rishi!”
“Okay,” Rishi said. The words seemed to have been dragged out from him, as if the black man’s big hand had dug itself into his vocal chord and pulled out each utterance. He knew best than to argue with his wife over such a trivial matter. His shoulders sagged.
Dom watched Rishi leave the kitchen without protest and return to his work. He then turned his attention back to the gorgeous married woman bent in front of him and studied her intently. He slowed down his breath and soaked in the view of the unassuming wife.
“I think your plan is working.” Priya said. She went to stand up but she felt Dom’s hand against her back like an iron bar.
“What are you doing?” Priya asked worriedly.
Dom grinned like a Cheshire cat, his big palm pressing on Priya’s spine.
She’s as timid as a squirrel, he thought.
“Does it feel good?” he asked.
“Yes it does; now, Dom, if you would just let me stand up…”
“I can’t let you do that right now.” Dom said coldly.

>>21288634
>hi! so you're actually hitting on a very important, antique concept, known as 'archetypy!'
>before video games, people would actually project themselves into a story, similar to how you see something from your point of view in a first person shooter! millions of dollars have been spent researching the most lucrative of these archetypes to portray in narrative Hollywood films!

Really? You didn't even spell "archetype" right. I bet you're one of those fucks who reads books written for screenwriters to learn how to write prose and contributing to the death of the novel as an art-form. Join BookTok; I bet you'll love some YA romance you can comfortably project into. The adults are talking, zoomer.

>>21288695
fucking google

>>21288746
I get that you're writing erotica, so I won't comment on what I assume is meant to get the reader hard, but >then she turned all of a sudden isn't needed.
>"I've burnt it!"
sounds like she burnt the food, not herself. This isn't a normal human reaction to burning yourself - she might cry "Shit!" and that's how you implement the shock. So the men rush in, and she's like "I burned myself!"

>>21288879
ohh it means google..

snake eating its own tail

>>21279371
I post in these threads because honestly, I get banned from every other online writing group. Not because I’m an asshole, though I am, but because I am naturally talented and quite gifted in the craft of writing. My notes are always astute, and correct, with the appropriate language of sentence structure, spelling, grammar, etc. Once I edited a piece of 16,000 words, on some forum, and the author just… Didn’t space after a period. So I highlighted each first letter of each sentence of the gargantuan garbage, to highlight this mistake, and I was later banned. Here I can’t be banned, which I appreciate, but in its stead I’m left with actual morons. Retards and children. Posting smash bros fan fiction and smut and ESL trash. Why is this the filter of reality? Why is this where my stubborn refusal to play nice lays me? Hemingway didn’t play nice, nor Atwood, when deconstructing other’s work. In real life writing groups, with real people, it becomes awkward to explain WHY you just can’t change between a present and passive tense when editing another’s work. Then they become quiet and say you’re not welcome next week.

>>21289104
What does it mean?

Field report!

Managed to sit at the farrest station in the library's quiet room today, so no more anxiety than someone can watch my screen (there's still a glass wall behind me, but it's a small corridor basicaly no one goes through, so I am safe from any random judgemental eyes).

Unfortunately, I procrastinated by reading books for my thesis, so I wrote next to nothing. I actually wrote more in the morning before classes.
Overall, 470 words. I intend to write at least 500 more today. I would feel worse about it if not for the fact I spent entire day productively.


------------------

Can I get some criticism of my writing? I am an absolute beginner and writing my first longer story, I intend for it to be a small novel, unlikely to ever be published, written just for improvement. All feedback appreciated. i'm especially unsure of how I start sentenced, too many instances when they start with a pronoun, or a connective like 'then.'

>“This isn’t a good day, Erik, I–,” he started, but the gangster quickly cut him off.
>“Maybe. But you know how I’ve felt these last few days? Those weren’t good days either. You did it to me, Rin.” Erik’s fingers gripped his shoulder even tighter, causing pain. “I know you are a clever guy, Rino. A wise guy would know better than to make problems for others, right?”
>Erik slowly looked around and his minions slowly nodded their heads in agreement. Then Erik’s friendly, amicable face slowly morphed into a sad, sorrowful one. “I don’t like doing these things, Rin. But a man should know his place when living among others. He should think about the community, his fellow men.”
>The leader leaned towards Rino and gazed deep into his eyes. They stood like that for a moment, neither speaking a word. Abruptly, Erik stopped gripping his shoulder, leaned back and sighed tiredly.
>“You really should listen more to the priests, Rin. A man alone is a Prey, men together are Hunters. This is how the world works.” Then Erik sucker punched him, quicker than a blink.
>Rino bent in half, gasping, but just before he could react someone kicked his leg from behind. At once people started to kick him. Through the myriad limbs Rino saw Erik, just standing there, not joining the others in the punishment. Looking at him without a hint of emotions in his eyes as his goons kicked the shit out of him.
>Then the pain was too much to bear and Rino closed his eyes, curling his knees to his chest as tight as he could, arms protectively shielding the head. He didn’t They didn’t take long, nor did they intend to cause any real damage, only pain, but it didn’t make it any better. After a minute or two, no way to know, Erik ordered them to stop.

>>21289115
ouroboros..

>>21287306
That's what I like about it, man. I feel like only women are really good at writing men. I consider yaoi to be one of the highest forms of art for this reason, they seem to be able to reach for parts of men's souls they themselves cannot go..

>>21289223
>it’s called hentai and it’s art

>>21289216
That's its name, not its meaning

>>21289235
to live is to die. To die, you must live. This isn’t deep or profound, it simply is, just like the snake

>busy for like a day and a half
>come back to 23 comments from the same guy as he's read through my story
Th-thanks...?

>>21289106
Being an asshole never does you any favors.
If you're literal Hemingway people will hold their noses and put up with it, and perhaps some midwits will even believe your assholery and skill are connected.
You are not literal Hemingway. You just have an eye for prose. Most people don't have that, but plenty do. You are replaceable. If you're more trouble than you're worth—off you go.
This is where your stubborn refusal to play nice lands you. Change that. Make an effort to be nice. It's hard but it's possible. I'm nicer than I used to be.

>>21289305
once on le plebbit I wrote a critique of another’s work because they asked if they felt if their story felt unfinished, and it was, so drew out an entire Monomythic story circle and explained why their story ended right at the atonement, and needed to continue into an apotheosis, rescue, etc. and this is why it felt unfinished. I was banned for that

Another time someone critiqued my work, on some forum, because I wrote a story about a cat, and not liking a certain colour of cat toy. The critiquer was factually incorrect about the colour blindness of cats. I was banned when I linked le google source

maybe you’re right. Or maybe there’s writers, and there’s people who want to be writers, and the wanna bees vastly outnumber the other

>>21289394
post your work nigga

>>21289416
already have

Why are agents so lazy and dramatic. "Queries closed until whenever idk, if you send an email it's getting trashed, lmao. Also I will never update my website, you'll have to check my twitter and consult an oracle as to whether I have decided to open submissions again." They're such little kings with no sense of professionalism or work ethic.

>>21289234
this but unironically

>>21289439
>>21289439
Supply and demand

>>21289263
He's doing it to increase your metrics. It's why people spam tftc