/lit/ - Literature

I will coom to Korean models on December 1st, I don't care that they're more plastic than human.

OMG! Is the BlackPink? I fucking love their hit single "Me ruv you rong time"! "I eat dog" and "Fuckuh you yboy, I'm not squidgame" are close seconds (but oh, I just can't pick between them!). I'm an obsessive little psychotic teen girl btw!

Nietzschean last man here, AMA

>>21279522
The female sex consists of more than just goth/tomboy/mommy/flavor of the month e-girl whatever and then the rest being soulless automaton bitches. That's really the salient point here. It's a fantasy nurtured by isolation, idealization and resentment. They are, much like men, more alike and yet more varied than you seem to grasp.

>>21279527
>>21279535

I do not even know how to put it into words.

>>21279527
I’m thinking of taking the trip pill. A trip would make me put forth more effort, shitpost less and hold me more accountable. What are some good trip names? I’ll don one

I really hate kikes and minorities and wish for a society free of them.

>>21279573
Try

>>21279500
They really aren't. If they were, they would understand men way better. My experience with women is the exact opposite: all women know is that men like sex and pretty women. Often in relationships, it's not unheard of for a couple to not really know each other past surface level platitudes. If you're fine with that, that's cool. Stop being so insecure and convincing people that are more experienced in how the world works otherwise. You really just have to look at how men and women talk about the other sex to see how little both know so little past the very basics about the other. It's fundamentally why some dudes opt for more meaningful relationships with women that actually put in some effort to understand men by taking up male-dominated hobbies like tomboys and nerds. I think you are trying to psychgoanalyze a non-existant problem by pretending all people that like tomboys and nerdy girls are isolated from women. They often aren't. THey just don't like them past the very surface level details in their face, boobs and butt and wouldn't bother realistically because they have better things to do. I;m of that mentality and it's a good mentality to have in relationships: you should actually share values and interests with the person you might potentially share the rest of your life with. This shit right here is why modern relationships are so trash and why we live in a generation where dating apps are the means by which most relationships are propagated. This is less about tomboys and nerdy girls and more about normalfags trying to force their objectively shit opinions down people's thoats and declare it the law of the land.

>>21279603
Meant for >>21279553

>>21279527
Thinking of developing a massive superiority complex to cope with my total lack of life accomplishments.
I just need to delude myself harder into believing I am better than everyone else. That way I don't actually have to do anything to better myself. I just am better than you.

There is this song I heard on YouTube the other day called 'Poppy' by a kpop group STAYC. I think I have been hypnotized. I've watched it like 20 times in one day. I believe the government is conducting mind control experiments with these videos.

>>21279527
fat tits, fat ass and fat legs, fat bitch cheap hooker whores, moist pussy pussy pussy, semen hatefacefuck fat bitch

>>21279566
''Normalfag'' is a nebulous term tbf, but when we talk about normies in a broader sense we don't really tend to exclude girls who are goth or tomboyish do we? Otherwise I'd say that's setting the bar too low. And to be clear, I said regular/normal to contrast with these very specific aesthetics/subcultures. What type of boy are you? Gothboi, dark academia, prepschool, gymbro? Or are you just a normie?

I have a gf. She was kinda emo in her teens, now she's not. I'd call her anything but dull but she doesn't fit into these categories. She's a pro at doing her makeup and she'll wear heels and cleavage on occasion. She shaves her legs, paints her nails and uses perfume. Doesn't have any tattoos and doesn't do anything crazy with her hair.
>>21279603
Why do you keep pretending like I've said shared interests or values are of no import.

>>21279649
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkZvwVf7F9k

>>21279664
>''Normalfag'' is a nebulous term tbf,
It's not. Normalfags are people that are concerned with people's perception of them to an unhealthy degree.

>but when we talk about normies in a broader sense we don't really tend to exclude girls who are goth or tomboyish do we?
Hoenstly, I don't care about subcultures all that much since they died ever since the advent of social media. We can talk about goths and tomboys and nerdy girls all we want, but they aren't really the same as these archetypes from the '80s/, 90s or 2000s due to social media making it more of a fashion statement. I'm genuinely talking about girls that have interests that people would classify as nerdy, goth or tomboyish since that's a better heuristic to follow. These are the types of girls I'd rather hang out with and really bear my soul to since their interests and mine overlap a lot and I can see myself be true self to them. I don't care about makeup, or heels or shit like that. I appreciate it if a woman went out of her way to make herself look more attractive for me and I'd want to bear that out in my actions and thoughts, but I care more about the mental/spiritual connection I'd have with a woman more than that. Really, it has to do with genuine oneness of purpose in the relationship rather than gay labels in the relationship and with the average woman, past their physical looks, I can't connect with them as a person.


Basically, I don't care if a woman is in the most feminine dress ever wearing makeup and heels or wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I just want to be genuinely be her lover and her friend. Peopl that absolutely fixate on the physical side of things tend to be stupid as shit, whether they want a tomboy gf or your average woman. What really makes a woman special is whats in her heart. I mean, you might see this as me conceding the point to you, but it's more my genuine thought son the matter: I don't really care about labels, I just care about the person and most relationships I see are rather vapid and only based on the man's appreciation of the woman's looks and the woman's appreciation of the man's earning potential. Frankly, those should be factors in a relationship, but a relationship ought to be so much more: it should be a window into the personhood of the soul of the other and most people never see it this way, no matter what a person wants in a companion of the opposite sex.

>>21279582
Wow. Were do the racists fit in there? the "libertarian" party?
Fuck off back to your board

>>21279527
>>21279535
K-pop obsession doesn't even qualify as "yellow fever", it's something weirder than that. It's like the k-pop coomers are in love with how plastic the models are, not even with their Korean features.

Billions must die.

>>21279527
Every time I come here and poke my nose in this thread, I believe more and more it’s the same handful of anons dominating it in circlejerk fashion. Almost like a chat room. It’s like Groundhog Day; an endless loop

>>21279747
I got obsessed with Twice for awhile. Weird thing is I didn't even masturbate to them or anything. I just wanted to watch them...

>>21279762
>Almost like a chat room
no way... crazy

>>21279756
Start with yourself as an example

It's interesting that sex and sexuality are simultaneously thought of as some of the most sacred/spiritual elements in human culture (think of all the marital imagery even in an anti-sexual religion like christianity, or all the sex magic taoism/hinduism/buddhism has) but also some of the most profane (prostitution, porn, the general idea of sexuality being the most animalistic part of human nature besides the lust for violence and basic instincts like hunger and thirst). Like sexuality is simultaneously sacred and profane, spiritual and physical, divine and animalistic.

Very much a basic bitch thought I know, but I can't help but find these contradictory attitudes interesting.

Does anyone else remember when the term "rape culture" was everywhere in polite discourse? In the early 2010s, I think. Nowadays, even with MeToo still going on, I don't think I've heard the term in years.

I have completed my retranslation of Canterbury tales through the general prologue, part 1, and mostly trough part 2 of the knight's tale.

>>21279791
Cause it was stupid from the start and nobody but psychotic feminist hoes in academia with extreme daddy issues even buys it anymore.

>>21279549
How much semen of your wifes bull do you have to swallow before she gives you a half hearted handjob?

>>21279582
That's why I'm not a conservative and much more edgy than that. Fighting with limp wrists is not a good look.

>>21279739
>Normalfags are people that are concerned with people's perception of them to an unhealthy degree.
So basically everyone

>>21279784
You sound like you'd like Baitaille

>>21279843
Everyone that derives their value from shit like social media and their status within a group and not on their own achievements (or lack thereof, in some strange cases). I'm not some hyper-individualistic person that hates the concept of community. There is a value in community, but I've noticed that people tend to derive value from being in a group more than actually being a human being and having this one life to do what they truly need to do to make the world a better place and make themselves truly happy along the way. I believe in certain aspects of social etiquette and in natural law, but I also believe that there is an over-abundance of vestigial social norms that have caused more harm than good by our continual insistence on them to climb up the social ladder, like the seniority system in Japanese and even American businesses or trusting the government, thinking they have their best interests in mind (especially now). I think people need to be a bit more flexible in their thoughts on these matters. We live in an ever-changing world, let's not pretend that society is a constant that will remain static and give us any real input.

>>21279879
>not on their own achievements
Their own achievements are only perceived as achievements in relation to perceived group status. Even if you make a piece of art by yourself it would have little meaning without some person perceiving its meaning. Individual achievement is inherently about status seeking.

https://youtu.be/f7owTrlWacs

>>21279923
> Individual achievement is inherently about status seeking.
I wholeheartedly disagree. You determine what your achievements mean. if you want to make it about status seeking, that's ultimately your choice. However, many individuals dedicate their lives to achieving something for reasons that are outside the realm of the status seeking. Individuals like Dirac, Godel, Euler, Galileo, Newton, Hyugens, Feynman, Cauchy, Riemann and Gauss were working towards expanding our knowledge of mathematical beauty in this world and its dynamics in the physical world. That one guy that built an RPG for 20 years literally did it because he felt like it, even though when it came out in 2017, it was out of date to an absurd degree. He was on a list of people that were overtaken by a need to do something great. I'll go look for that right, but the point being people make their own lives drudgery by their slavery to their lesser passions instead of seeking higher ideals. This goes for religious and non-religious people alike: they both find reasons to be a slave to the rule of the mob rather than taking initiative and living their own lives.

>>21279527
I need to learn more humility in the face of the world. Only by accepting my station can any real progress be made. I also need to write more. It's been the only constant in my life. I don't care what career I end up in. At the end of the day its all labor, and I'm fine if I avoid the downright horrible jobs. I don't need much money; I just need enough to live relatively comfortably. I don't know where I'll end up living or if I'll ever live with another person. However, I've been writing since I can remember, and its the only activity that makes me feel as though I have something to live for. I hate wasting time, but I do it constantly.

>>21279947
Cleveland Blakemore who made the game Grimoire. Again, people allow themselves to be slaves of the mob rather than have any sort of self-initiative. This is why I don't like large groups, they naturally suppress the true genius of the individual and their true potential. I prefer smaller groups where I can balance the fact that I am an individual with my own hopes and dreams and self-actuation with my need to comport with other individuals who are like minded. It's why I appreciate the harder sciences so much: they allow for this mentality to take place and truly flourish rather than being dictated what to believe and what is true, like most people seem to be comfortable with.

>>21279973
How the fuck did I forget Terry Davis? That man was a blessing from God. RIP Terry

>>21279947
>expanding our knowledge
"Our" being the operative word there. None of your examples disprove my claim. Even if the guy who spent 20 yrs making a videogame never got famous, he still presumably hoped that some other people would enjoy his work.

>>21279555
I showed my wife that comic. Now she says 'what mean' all the time as a joke.

>>21279744
No party that you've heard of.

eliminating other persons is a comparable feat of genetic propagation as producing greater offspring (assuming you have one genetic heir)
in a hegemonic ecosystem where your species is only competing amongst itself a wise competitive strategy would be for the elders of a line to kill as many others of another line as possible before their death
thus is guarantees a ratio of 1:1 killing and propagation, any genetic line that follows this Couse of action to totality could logarithmically eliminate all other lines. meaning in a human time scale all other lines would be replaced within ~15 generations or half that assuming greater fatal ratios. Elders being the optimal strategy to decrease punitive and emotional consequences for the original line.
Obviously any intelligent government would have to remove this possibility with severe fiscal penalties for next of kin but assuming all loop holes are exhausted the government would have to preemptivley execute all elder populations.
If such a response as enacted another competitive strategy would be to designate every other offspring to be the executors. while this is a much more deleterious strategy it is virtually impossible to governmentally counter save for 1 child policies.
this of course is assuming unintelligent elimination strategies. intelligent elimination strategies usually rely on controlled actors who are not aware they are carrying out said actions. typically a fatal ratio for intelligent eliminatory actions is much greater with the risk being far lower.
Caught actors only receive the penalties for extreme negligence or are un-penalizable. Pragmatically over-reliance on such "sleeper" actors can cause the odd scenario of "mission amnesia" where entire genetic lines forget thier use of the intelligent elimination strategy. very few genetic lines consciously act on the intelligent elimination strategy as non-verbal communication and memory storing methods increase. As bicameral remembrance voices have disappeared the the human psyche as evidenced by shifts in ancient to modern narrative tradition one could say most if not all eliminatory agents are sleep walking. nevertheless eliminatory "crescendos" have shifted from mythological narratives to realities it seems some actors are subconsciously trying to end the game by "flipping the table" so to speak. Although eliminating every genetic line defeats the purpose of lineagecide it is suspected that these errors in sleepers are cuased by residual semiotic fatalisms which accumulate over history. makers and datums of defeated lineages might be re-ordering all amnesiac eliminators towards a sleeping suicide. if this is the ultimate conclusion of cellular propagated life ( and it is more impending as time goes on) then it is so suprise why no other intelligent actors outside Earth have been realized. the only victoriously propagated genetic lineage is the death actor.

>>21279991
>"Our" being the operative word there.
Yes. Mathematics and physics are collaborative and cumulative sciences. Everyone is standing on the backs of giants. No mathematician or physicist will say otherwise.

>None of your examples disprove my claim
Except they kind of do since it's not about social signalling but focused on actual truth. Sure, we name theorems after mathematicians,but this is always done after the fact. It's a sign that you aren't a serious mathematician if you do shit like that to a theorem you proved.

>Even if the guy who spent 20 yrs making a videogame never got famous, he still presumably hoped that some other people would enjoy his work.
That's not the same as social signalling though. He literally went out of his way to piss every one on RPGCodex off for 10+ years with claims that they thought were conspiratorial and false about Sir-Tech hiring pedophiles to make a Wiazardy game in Australia (which later turned out to have some validity to them,k but that's besides the point). If anything, that proves he did it to make a good product (which naturally means the game is good), not really for a social reason. Just because someone has standards for what they make doesn't mean they're doing it for social advancement.

>>21280015
I meant social climbing, but same difference. You might be doing things for social advancement, but that's not everyone's driving motive in life. Frankly, I think people that can't see this are incapable of true art. Yeah, sure social media has killed the human spirit, but there are still people that believe in and do things that aren't for social climbing. We're animals but we're rational animals at the end of the day. We choose what our life and what our actions are about.

I'm just stewing in regret. Have been very strongly all week and I suppose its been simmering for years. I had everything ready made for me but it all ended up as shit anyway. It just sucks.

>>21279549
How often do you blink?

>>21280015
>If anything, that proves he did it to make a good product (which naturally means the game is good), not really for a social reason.
Making a good product is inherently social. I'm also not sure why you keep posing this fake and gay dichotomy between genuinely wanting to create something good in itself & social signaling, when it's clearly both. I do not mean social signaling in some kind of cynical sense, but just an acknowledgement that art is a social product. If every single person was incinerated in an instant would Mona Lisa still have value without any observer there to interpret it?

There's a lady at work that I can speak with really easily. She understands what I mean when I talk. Most people have issues with how I say or explain things. I've never had someone understand me so easily.
But she's weird mentally. Like on the spectrum. Makes me feel worse about my communication skills desu.

>>21279603
>you should actually share values and interests with the person you might potentially share the rest of your life with
If your values and interests don't run any deeper than nerd shit, you are a shallow person

>>21280042
>Making a good product is inherently social.
It isn't necessarily. It can just as well be a reaffirming of one's of natural/learned talent. This example and that of Terry Davis are exemplary in that Grimoire and TempleOS went against the norms in the realm (Grimoire is a 90s style blobber RPG. Legends of Grimrock is a more modern one that frankly looks and plays a bit better and it shows. That's why Grimrock was excessively popular versus Grimoire. Same deal with TempleOS and othe roperating systems) and really were passion projects.

>I'm also not sure why you keep posing this fake and gay dichotomy between genuinely wanting to create something good in itself & social signaling, when it's clearly both.
If it fucking was social signalling, you would wonder why Cleveland went out of his way to actively antagonize the people that would buy his game for years and then continue doing it when they got very sick of him and made it excessively clear. I don't get why you can't understand why some people do things and why it's not always for social reasons. This is very basic to me: not everyone cares to engage with society past what they need to. That's why people left Europe to find their own happiness in America (and the Americas) during the 1800s. It's only now when mankind is over-socialized that people over invest in the value of the group and under invest in themselves.

> If every single person was incinerated in an instant would Mona Lisa still have value without any observer there to interpret it?
Literally just the artist determines the value of what they make. There's so many viewpoints in the world but only the person (or people) that makes the actual art can determine it. Sure, you can have you're own interpretation, but it
s basically meaningless past you and people you interact with. Some person form the North Setinal Islands may see it as a piece of trash to shit on. The value of the Mona Lisa comes from the energy and time put into perfecting it and bringing the idea into fruition. I don't get why this is so hard to understand.

>>21280075
No shit i t does faggot. Nerd shit though is a great tool to meet interesting people and discuss their values. I can't tell you how many great discussions I've had about religion, life. and my deep commitment to self-actualization and the pursuit of true happiness over fucking video games (most of them art type games like Muramasa the Demon Blade and Vagrant Story) and movies. They are great ice breakers if you let them be be more than a game in a sense. I can't say I haven't met a lot of idiots and boring people, but I have met people that truly are in love with life and that's why I like games.

Maybe you should e a bit more charitable when someone says something on the Internet. No shit the aren't going to give you 100% of the context.

>I can't tell you how many great discussions I've had about religion, life. and my deep commitment to self-actualization and the pursuit of true happiness over fucking video games

>21280119

>Expecting people to be insulted by your admission that you're a fucking retard
Go back to >>>/r/eddit with your basedjack image macros.

>>21279843
Is he wrong though? That kind of behavior is actually very fucking off putting generally speaking. I enjoy my solitude most of the time.

>>21279739
Fair enough but a nice set of breasts is good aesthetically I don't care who you are.

>>21279739
>being this gay for women
you should save it for your diary faggot

>>21280143
I can respect the honesty.

>>21280148
Some people are retarded FAS babies like you and actually like thinking about how they want their lives to be. Unironically kill yourself, you absolute twat. Where the fuck do you think we are? Stupid cunt.

>>21280102
>Maybe you should e a bit more charitable when someone says something on the Internet
You're the one who's like "faggot this faggot that, nobody understands me"

Kill myself die die die die die die die kill myself cut your wrists die die die die die

>>21280157
*aren't retarded FAS babies

>>21280160
I really do not give a shit if you understand me or not. I don't even know you, why would I care what you think about my opinons? I just don't want to hear you be a passive bitch and bother me for no reason. You can just ignore me like any rational person does when they are presented with shit they don't want to see. The hide button is on the side, you stupid faggot.

>>21279784
that's because you mix under the idea degenerate sex and sex where there is love and purpose to have children which are two vastly different things
there is no contradictory attitudes because the attitudes of which you speak of refer to subgroup of sex not the whole concept in general

>>21280170
"Be a bit more charitable when someone says something on the internet." Fucking retard.

>>21280174
Degenerate sex can be truly transcendent

>>21280179
Are you so retarded that you understand insinuation and me telling you to fuck off? Because that's what it was: I was telling you top shut the fuck up and fuck off. Now that I put it more blatantly, do so you, mentally invalid cretin.

>>21280183
I am going to continue replying because I want to

>>21280157
>get insanely defensive over muh heckin tomboys and goth girlerinos only to revert and say you don't care at all how a girl dresses
>start traumadumping about failed earlier relationships
>post 2D shit
>spill your heart in several walls of text about definitely not being a normie because you dream about finding a spiritual connection over vidya
this is why I said you're all fucking weirdos, please leave my board

>>21280184
Then stop complaining, you absolute mong. I don't even care if you want to reply to me, stop being a bitch on the Internet.

>>21280187
You're the one being an overwrought bitch

>>21280186
How about no faggot. You a stupid bitch that pretends he's ebin cool because he uses 4chan when you are just another oversocialized redditor that's ruined this site since 2016. You're no better than the pol election tourists from that era and actively stand against what made the Internet great. You should go back to whatever sub/r/reddit you come from and or start lurking like everyone here ought to have done if they are a newfag queer like you.

>>21280196
You're still replying to me and said you will keep replying to me, even though I told you to fuck off and ignore my posts. You're the stupid bitch here.

I was living in America for two months and got into a relationship with this girl. In those short two months I managed to fuck it up and even though it always had to end because I was always moving back home I still feel like shit for fucking it up. Weird hey. I still regret it even though it was never going to happen. But I suppose you think about how few people you are genuinely compatible with and when you lose that one you were compatible with it stings.

>>21279527
Im starting to really appreciate the eccentrics in my life. Those kinds of people are at least interesting, unique.

People say I look like Bender from Futurama.

>>21279542
I tried to listen to some blackpink songs and it just hurt my ears with americanophile cringe.

>>21280226
Eccentric how?

>>21280233
Yeah blackpink might as well be an American group. I miss second gen kpop which actually had a distinctly "Korean" sound. There are still some current gen groups with that more old school sound, but for the most part current day kpop is indistinguishable from American music.

>>21280102
>people over invest in the value of the group and under invest in themselves.
More fake and gay dichotomies.
These two things are not mutually exclusive. Investing in yourself has a social component of signaling your power level. For example, I might work out simply because it feels good, and I individually enjoy how it betters myself, but fitness is also a signal of value to others. Even if you dont intend it as a social signal, theres no separating out the individual desire from the social one. The social valuation that fit = attractive influences the desire to be fit. You don't see most people intentionally working to make themselves uglier & fatter. Even though the latter would certainly be going against the "group".
Now as for why someone would toil away on an obscure project that angers a lot of people. Both because they individially enjoy it but also because the devotion signals that he/she is an interesting or intelligent individual, which is also a social/power thing.

>>21280201
>just do what I tell you
No

>>21280242
Eccentric like Lizaveta Prokofyevna in 'The Idiot'. Reminds me of my aunt.

>>21280269
Then continue being a stupid developmentally and mentally retarded bitch. It's not really my problem at this point

>>21279527
I am everything I hate. I've seen videos of myself from years ago and I truly have worsened. Back then I could actually act like a decent human being reliably. Now I look autistic and people disrespect me to my face on a daily basis. I am a weak, crazy and unlovable idiot. I can't even decipher what caused the fall into becoming such a sour, despicable human being. I think I'm about to forget how to smile.

I'm watching my life go by from somewhere else. It's like a movie. The longer this goes on, the weaker my connection with my body and the world becomes. I wonder if it could be severed entirely one day, leaving a near-mindless shell of myself to live out my life, to meet others' expectations, while I sink into my dreams and fantasies forever?

>>21280289
It's not hard to be polite, have manners.

>>21280281
You're the retarded bitch

>>21280297
Keep on seething and coping. I've got bett things to do than to talk to an assblasted faggot like you. See you later.

>>21279527
I've been really weird lately. I feel like I'm just watching my life pass by. I'm not sad but I'm not really happy either. Things have basically just been flat for a little over a year now. It's not depression, more just like I'm not feeling anything anymore. I've been trying to quit smoking and it's really hard. The cravings completely take over my mind and it's like the only thing I think about is lighting up again. I'm really disgusted with myself. I feel like I've lost myself or who I really am, whatever that means. I socialize and talk to people. I'm charming and funny, but it all feels fake. It's like I'm playing a character and my true thoughts only exist in my private little world. I almost feel like a robot or something

>>21280299
*better

>>21279527
cant get past how weird asian faces look. 2uncannyvalley4me

>>21280304
I was the same with brown vaginas but you get used to it.

>>21279784
Stop thinking in this sacred/profane dichotomy. It's crap

Im tormented by a reoccurring feeling that what im perceiving or my life in general is not real, or im in a dream like state, and then i feel weak and frail and sometimes very faint

I cannot work a job like this. i cannot have friends like this. im afraid the end of the line is coming and i will either die or be forced into suicide by homelessness

>>21280304
Asian faces are the only normal looking faces. Every other race is grotesque.

>>21280301
That's life baby. I know exactly what you mean. But I've resigned myself to the fact that there's not much more else to it than this. Sure, you can chase something better, but no doubt you'll end up feeling dissatisfied anyway. Might as well just take the easy route.

>>21280299
>I've got bett things to do than to talk to an assblasted faggot like you
No you don't

>>21280332
Perfect for syrup

>>21280304
M to Fs have the biggest uncanny valley of any demographic and its not even close. Of course its taboo to point this out because of not just it being politically incorrect but on average they have body image issues in the first place. That's exactly why they transition.

>>21279625
Already ahead of you champ

>>21280233
Don't listen to early punk rock then

Would you be content with staying in your own old world? It is comfortable, after all. You have to take risks sometimes to attain something new. Is the risk worth it? Look into yourself and make fair judgment.

>>21280320
ah bloo bloo
Get over yourself and get a job

>>21280403
cant work when I feel like fainting all the time and cant talk to people properly

hope that clears the confusion caused by your massively low IQ which is the only possible explanation for your post

>>21280420
You're literally just lazy. You can post on the internet, you can work a job. Stop making excuses for your laziness

>>21280320
stop being passive and just do something

>>21280432
>if you can sit in a chair doing nothing then you can do 8 hours of labour and 2+ hours of commute every day for the rest of your life while constantly experiencing dissociative episodes, faintness and heart palpitations

wow you are extremely intelligent and not at all a literal retard and even more far gone mentally than me

Need a woman to spend my money on.

>>21280332
Really? those pan-faced, slant eyed, slit eyed, flat nosed, bug people?

>>21280450
You're so high IQ that you're going to be homeless. Congratulations

>>21280065
>She understands what I mean when I talk.
>But she's weird mentally. Like on the spectrum
You've almost figured it out. Come on, you can do it!

>>21280453
If you're broke or could easily go broke: don't. Please Wait.
You don't want to be in the position where you need money to spend on your woman.
Just imagine what it would feel like with a bitch in that position. She'll nag you to death! But O! having a good, loyal girl by your side in such a situation would only make you feel ten times worse (if you have any sense of self respect, shame, or manly duty)! I used to know how that felt before my gf became my wife (yeah, I got my happy ending) but I think most people should avoid putting themselves in that position if they can (unless they want to test which kind of girl they have, in which case they are masochists).

>>21280485
On the contrary, I am very well off. I also have some ascetic inclinations so I don't spend much money.

>>21280457
Yep, those exact ones

I'm trying to figure out how to grow up and age normally. I don't know if I should continue to indulge in the interests I had when I was younger. When I go back to those things I am filled with so much nostalgia it is almost painful. It is like looking at the sun, I can only manage for a brief moment. But it's not because I dislike those things. It is simply that it is a reminder of a younger time. Part of me wonders if nobody ever escapes the trauma of leaving your early 20s, that we all live in perpetual yearning for our youth - except maybe until you get so old you don't give a shit about anything whatsoever.

I guess I just don't know what I want.

I'm not sleeping very well

>>21280700
me either. i just woke up at 5am, and got out of bed at 5:30 because i clearly wasn't going to sleep again. now i just chugged an energy drink and will waste the day on the internet.

I don't get why people sneer at the idea of ruling others "for their own good." If what is good for someone is an objective matter, and if many people cannot be trusted to pursue what is good for them instead of acting self-destructively, then it follows it absolutely IS possible to be authoritarian against them in a way that is conductive to their welfare.

The only way out of that is to either argue that what is good for someone is subjective, or that people consistently follow what is good for them on their own.

>>21280502
Oh, I see...well then...knock yourself out!

Ah, it's a hard pill to swallow when you realize you are not friends, and never will be. You keep your secrets, then.

I've been drinking and smoking for three days straight and I feel like shit.

Kill everyone in this board

>>21280725
This is a sore subject for me

>>21280481
It means that by being off her entire life she has practiced her ability to communicate a lot?
Anyway that's not the point m8. It geel bad that the person I communicate so easily is off like that. It makes it seem like we have more in common than we do. Obviously I am not on the spectrum nor do I exhibit signs of being so. Many people just have a difficult time understanding what I mean.

>>21280606
That makes two of us.

i want to watch a Japanese anime.

I somewhat dislike the feature of myself where there is nothing spontaneous about me. For example, I have an entire five year plan for new people I meet scratched up on the first day. Before talking to them I go through the dialogue tree and possible choices about 50 different times or something, and I almost never (when talking) observe a path I didn't already think through, and the entire discussion is me clicking through the discussion like it's fucking Oblivion

In short, I think and I think a lot and overthink. I guess I'm also somewhat disappointed / tired / sad that nobody has ever managed to really surprise me. I can't remember last time anything surprised me

>>21280015
>it's not about social signalling but focused on actual truth
This is the biggest cope known to mankind honestly. At the end of the day, every goal we aspire toward is social and has social implications. Whether you're crunching numbers, working on some scientific breakthrough, or trying to create the next great piece of art, you unconsciously know the implications it will have on your social status and identity in the world

DESU I think artists who deny this haven't thought about it enough. After awhile you eventually get jaded and burnt out on creativity. There's no bootstrapping your way out of it either, saying "I do it for myself" won't suddenly help you make more progress either

>>21279527
Why do Asian women dye their hair? I like light hair on white women but if she's Asian part of the appeal is the jet-black hair.

>>21281077
To look more european. It's also why they are insanely into surgery over there. Slim face, tiny nose and big eyes are the ideal. Worst case scenario, dyeing their hair is their way to get back at their patriarchal societies. Women gonna women.

>>21279527
>>21279527

I'm working on this right now. I've never done models before, and never something this small. I'm having a great time. Anyone who feels useless all the time, or don't have any hobbies should start buying cheap little DIY kits. I buy all kinds of stuff, and it really makes me feel better about being a fucking NEET.

>>21281077
Blonde hair on an Asian girl is like the rainbow colors on an European girl, it's a warning sign animals use to indicate to others that they're poisonous, ie. vaginal area non-sanitary, do not touch.

>>21281099
WHAT DOES THE SWITCH DO??? Are there ones with big red buttons?

>>21281113
The switch turns the lights on. Also I have no idea what you mean by big red buttons, but I'm sure there are.

>>21281126
I want to have a button to push which blows up a microcosm. It my new hobby.

How to I get better reading comprehension? Just read more or something specific?

>>21279527

>>21281132
sounds sexy. build a mini terrarium and then hurl it at a wall.

https://youtu.be/CyY1FNNCVv0

>>21281150
Use different comprehension strategies based on what and why you're reading.

>>21281172
Another chart that might help, it's from a book on metacognition.

Are slavs capable of abstract, non-literal thinking, or was that just the Jews that happened to live there

>>21281222
Betteridge's law

I think I'm starting to get why everything is so wrong
In the past, during the times when I was stressed I always had something to offset that stress - something to calm me down, or something to look forward to. It alleviated the stress so it was not felt
now there is nothing. The stress just piles on and on and it never disperses. I'm going fucking insane

>https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33679668
hn is having a memorial thread for the sci-fi author greg bear who apparently just croaked. i thought well if all these rich tech bros from stanford dig him, he must be kinda good. i browse his author page on amazon... halo franchise books? lol who knows maybe they're good.

Tried speaking my thoughts this time rather than writing them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY4tMC0hHsU

>>21279527
>Write What's On Your Mind
Sex.

two or three days in a row I've been dreaming of inexistent beautiful women that I get along with

>>21281726
I really like this diary entry (I'm 17 minutes in right now). I think you're problem is that you haven't found something that really sets you on fire and motivates you to do your best. I'd advise just looking into other fields and possibly a major change, but whatever you do connect with your fellow classmates and start collaborating with them. I had that problem too in my undergrad and it's starting to resurface again and getting out of myself and befriending my fellow peers made me stop procrastinating out of anxiety and fear and made me proactive in what I want to do in life. I wish you the best anon.

Also, don't worry about when you graduate. Life is full of competition, but the most intense and meaningful ones are with yourself.

>>21281726
corona fucked me up too bro. I was in a good momentum, which was hard to achieved, and then I spent like a year doing nothing. Now I've been two years writing my final project and it's so hard to put myself into it. I'd work out of shame for some time and then return to do nothing for a month or two. I picture myself as a hobo most of the time. At least at one point I was reading a lot of books and felt better about myself because I had that, now I just spent my days sitting and doing nothing, until I manage to work. I had the luck though of finishing all my classes before this happened, so I don't have to worry about grades.

I dont have the will to live.

Real food that doesn't have sugar and caffeine as it's base ingredient is making me whole again. Now I can devote myself to the higher agonies of existence, like wishing I'd sexually harassed that silver fox, and wondering if African guy meant he owned the company or worked for it. I think I fucked up my knee again too.

I'm never discussing literature with a female ever again.
Their opinions come from goodreads or the synopsis on the back.

>>21282202
>I'm leaving /lit/ forever
Okay, Arabella, see you at the tacofest again tomorrow?

>>21282174
It's in your sock drawer.

>>21282236
Just checked.
Its empty.

>>21281154
This is too direct and simple. God is in the details. The button needs to be irresistibly pressable and the outcome unforseen and devastating.

>>21282255
It isn't.

>>21282259
I don't know, the wanton destruction of something you poured so much time and love into, the frenetic energy that percolates in your blood as you see it leave your fingers, and the inevitable, irretrievable outcome of your actions as the home of all those plants and little creatures is shattered, as the shards and dirt and ruin skitters across the ground-- the release of that energy would be catastrophic.

Actually anon, now I'm actually getting really into it. Just imagine the devastation you've caused, not just to what you made, but also to yourself. Imagine. You are a god, but you are a cruel and capricious god.

Would you pick a day? An hour? A minute? Or would you pass it every day, waiting surreptitiously for that one, single strike of want, completely at random.

Would you cry? Would you try to save what you can? Would you feel guilt at all?

Do you have any Russian friends?

Can you ask if they can find a torrent of this movie with English subtitles? It was a popular movie in Japan too:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116794/

Russia has a lot of interesting wholesome art that the Anglosphere never hears about.

I think if I talk about my interests to people I will sound too pretentious so I maintain most interests private, except videogames and all the easily accessible stuff

>>21282307
Sand mandalas are going to blow your motherfucking mind, anon, let alone Dada.

>>21282345
I like rangoli. But sand just isn't the same.

>>21282337
I do this, but it's not because people think you're pretentious. If you let the enthusiastic autism flow, people get scared and change the subject, and they don't think you're pretentious if you're really interested: they just think you're potentially disabled.

>>21282306
Who are you?

>>21282353
Nah, it's more like there's a threshold of information they can receive, but once you pass that threshold (which is very hard not to once you get started talking about a subject) they can't keep up and get distracted and bored.

Is it really too much to ask for to find a woman, which hasn't been used, for a potential lifelong partner?

>>21282389
I get people either being scared or asking me for more. Maybe you are not being comprehensive enough because people who ask me for more are often disappointed I said all the things I knew.

>>21282335
It might be easier to find Japanese enthusiasts who know English subbers on this website, anon

i made an attempt to get back into /lit/ since the catalog wasn't full of obviously stupid shit, but nope, it still sucks.

>>21282401
Who, not which, anon. Which is for use with things.

>>21282401
If you're not a virgin can you really expect a potential partner to have been chaste her entire life?

>>21282401
You missed teenage courtship rituals, anon?
So sorry. Now stop thinking you deserve a 8/10 or higher and find your "virgin". She's probably a 5/10 fixer-upper, but will love you IF you love her back.

>>21282427
I actually typed 'who' first but it sounded weird so i changed it. I assumed since i'am using the general word 'woman' and not refering to a perticular person i can use 'which'.

>>21282437
Still who

>>21282433
I'am a virgin, i heavily dislike being a hypocrite and will never ask from someone else something that i myself am not capable of.
>>21282434
I just never cared at that time honestly, even if one presented herself i don't think i would have gone for it, but now at 27 i do feel a desire for a relationship. And i would happily take an average or below looking girl if we were compatible.
>>21282438
I will remember.

>>21282437
I bet you feel pretty silly now, don't you? Imagine making a grammatical error on 4channel.org/lit/

>>21279527
I don't want to have to have a career or to network and develop my resume.
I don't want to do it.
I need someone to simply give me $$$ for being smart and doing nothing. Is that too much to ask?

>>21282454
Don't bully Wishbone; he just promised me he'd remember.

>>21282446
I would rather forgive a girl for having a past than be alone for the rest of my life. If you are religious and part of a church it might not be that hard to find what you're looking for. My friend is an evangelical Christian and he has a pretty wife who is from the same religion. I can only assume that they both followed the rules before getting married, but I can't be certain. It's not my business anyway. In all honesty, some of the sweetest girls I know have been "used", either by choice or by necessity.

>>21282446
>would happily take an average or below looking girl if we were compatible
But accept that she's had a couple of boyfriends too.
Hey, sorry if I came out a little harsh. But take it easy on the girls. Nobody's perfect. Good luck.

>>21282531
Meh anon wants a virgin so I doubt the problem is having boyfriends before, and it's probably whether they slept with a boyfriend before. He doesn't sound deep end religious where even officially courting means you're ruined if you don't follow through with a marriage.

>>21282457
Reading about medieval mystics and feeling jealous of the simplicity of their lives. Those motherfuckers never had to write a cover letfer.
Like you just go off and fight in a war and then after settle down into a monastic order where you just drink beer all day. And then eventually die to dysentery.
A man can dream.

>>21279527
---- Solaria ----
414
(Adam In The Large Glass)

To describe an antithesis is fine
If not sublime as the sense for atmosphere

Made of contrasts too rarely seen or felt to reproduce exactly,
Or to adjust a valve to some degree

Customary only for instruments to measure

Despite that its design is lame enough to
To make a ninety percent change in meaningful difference

With a turn of three percent.

To conceive or arrange any scene that looks impossibly beautiful
Using common materials, readily at hand.

Ancien regime feelingly seen from the perspective of
Some extreme in modern luxury--

Constantly considerate of impressions
As the point of idea:

The strange perfection of personae
That monumental oeurves

Recommend as a general direction.

Close as they came

It wasn't Monet or Degas or Matisse who had the original of living in a museum
So much to one's own taste

There's nothing chaste about it or its creator,
The perspective of sybaritic eloi

Gardening in a surfeit of artificial light,
Chance harvest of the natural poet or genius of inflection,

Company that is without wishing
Or will, absolutely reasonable in its acceptance of experience

If a little domineering when it comes to sound,
More than usually susceptible to

The swoon of erotic scent, starry spectacle,
Floral pattern that all the world's silken snow beguiles.

>>21282497
>>21282531
I doubt i can do that. I mean the remifications of having someone else before you are so big, not being her first love is having to be locked out of a very special place in her mind. For one it means i will always be compared to someone else if she would never admit it. A failed relationship, as the way i see it any relationship that doesn't have the end goal being a lifelong mate, brings so many problems as well, when i say 'used' it has a double meaning, one in simply the act of sex but also the fact that the ralationship didn't last it means to me that she was either used by someone, being lusted over, with no intentions of a deeper relationship . Or she used someone else with not respect or love, and both of those scenarios, to me, signal a ruinous omen for a lifelong relationship. Sex without love is debasing, being in a relationship with someone else having neither the love or respect for them, which i see modern dating as, is also debasing. Which speaks to me of either sociopathy or a lack of love for oneself, and if one doesn't love themselves they cannot love another. It's hard but i honenstly don't see how i ever get over this and accept a non-vigin, they way i see it i would rather be miserable alone that with someone else, and i would feel awful to ruin someone else's experience in, what i would feel like is, both mine and her debasement. These are the feelings i have from thinking about it as i'am not religious even in the slighest.

I'm being too much. They are gonna find me in distaste sooner or later. I need to stop pushing to spend time with them. I need to let them touch me, instead of trying to touch them. I need to work through my self confidence issues so I don't pine after their approval. I need to convince myself we are in the same league. FUCK bros FUCK. I like them bros but I can't I CANT HELP but try too hard.

>>21279527
---- Solaria ----
415
(Legacy Population)

Not sure how it got in
But I let a field mouse commute
Between my floor and attic for three weeks.

Not sure how the little pricks do it it, but I followed
This one by sound with some amusement
Until I saw it one day

Skidding from my feet among the fluorescent towers on my kitchen floor.

I suppose building codes elsewhere permit
Plastic pipe and conduit
And as such

Are meant to be razed by fire and such every fifty years on average
As if people can can live in places frail as sight

That comes without archives.

>>21282457
>>21282553
Looks like somebody put that idea in your head and you just ate it all. You can just learn a trade and live a slow, peaceful life in some small town. Just find someone there and marry her.

Last night (or rather this morning) I had a dream where I went to prison and my cellmate was a hot redhead girl and there was a funny fat black nigga in the cell next to me.

Do you like yourself and your life?

>>21282852
I like myself, I don't like my life, but I am trying to change that.

>>21279527
I've had somebody for five years. Now I'm all alone. Time has passed. I don't feel so cold anymore.
Time continues to pass. I meet some girl. She's not the prettiest I know but she's extremely funny, kind and smart. I think I can love her back. I invite her to watch some movie at home and she kisses me back. We're together.
Time passes. She's getting more and more prettier, is it love? She says she's a bonafide atheist. I think about the future– I don't want her to make the same mistakes as me– I say we should break up. She doesn't want to. I say she has no choice and that I will never make someone know what it's like to lose five years of their life. We can't be together. She cries. I cry. She leaves.
I'm alone again.
Time passes.
I'm alone again.

Time passes.
I'm alone again.
I think about my exes. My heart is in shambles. I cry in my bed at night.

Time passes.
I'm alone again.

Time passes.
I notice my hands are shaking.

Time passes.
I'm still alone.
I'm becoming incontinent.

Time passes.
Alone again. This time, it's not as painful as the other times.

Time passes.
The shaking and incontinence are worsening. I think I might have a neurological disorder.
I'm still alone. I wonder if I should see a doctor or tell anyone. I think about what I should look forward to next, should I live for decades more. I can't find anything worthwhile.

Time passes. It passes once more. It's going to pass again. I guess I'll find out then.

>>21279527
---- Solaria ----
416
(Netherlands)

Completely relaxed into a sunny lowland

In the ultimate July
I measured the difference
Between my ears by a field of brown

Mantises singing around sixteen kilohertz,
A song too fabulous for fables in its heady effect,
Yet, with stealth beyond them all, found one of them

Via the form that endurance hunters take
And must be some analogy
To intellect.

Demure little thing, how miraculous its efficiency seems!

>>21282874
You have to understand that the natural state of woman is to be atheist, whether or not they say they are atheist, Christian, Muslim, whatever. It doesn't matter, deep down they are just possessed by sense objects, they even objectify God into a sensual entity.

I think I saw you when I was walking down the street but I don’t know if it was you because I only see you naked at night. It made me sad that I cannot recognize you even though we want nothing more.

Welp. Today I found out that eggplants are berries, and that basically sums up how I feel about everything that's happened over the past 8 or so years. Time really flies, doesn't it.

I distinctly remember fawning over alternative "cool girls" with neon hair and manic energy and lots of spunk and moxie and attitude. We would play games together and she would be bad but that's okay because she was hot and the emotional depth of our relationship would be the equivalent of graphene. Alternative heckin' e-girls! Yes! She likes comics AND pizza? London?

When I was a kid I used to violently grip play-doh and other malleable things like mud and clay and silly putty because I liked the feeling of absolute dominance over something else. Feeling the elastic substance run to shelter beneath the gaps of my stubby sticky toddler fingers was my sympathy for Pontius Pilate and his ordaining of the death of Jesus.

They say every man experiences a crushing defeat in life. It's necessary to lose everything in order to have ones cranium filled with the right things. Too bad no one knows what those right things are. I feel destined to roam about wistfully, like an emaciated Griffith trapped in the perfume department of a local shopping mall, vaguely making out the runes and topographical structure of a half-eaten mcdonald's double cheeseburger through the cracks of mesh waste-basket revealed to me in the brief openings and closings of the women's bathroom. God, I wish I had a bigger dick.

I'm a failure, my life is a shame, I'm a joke, a pathetic joke like a real Costanza
I'll never improve, my fate is to make things worse and suffer until I get the courage to do it. God only made me to laugh at me.

>>21279527
I'm getting filtered so hard by data structures, 2nd time taking this class, final exam after 5 hours
>>21281152
>>21280119
gem

I am a man of simple rules.
I think once a man picks those rules he ought to follow through, even when it's hard. Still, I never thought it could get so hard.
My simple rule is this: I call everyone who walks through my home door a hard R nigger. Oh, it's caused trouble over the years. First, with my mother. Later my neighbors.
But now, my lovely African American wife has tearfully asked me to stop. Especially after the incident with my in-laws. She's concerned, especially with how my behavior will affect our infant son.
Some people just don't understand these things that make you a man. If you say you will do it, you follow through. Why can't people understand, anons?

>>21283032
>a hard R
I don't know when the Americans came up with this new fad but it is hilarious watching their national psy ops in the same way that watching Turkmenistan's renaming of things is hilarious.

>>21282827
Sure I could do that but there's a certain expectation coming from an upper middle class family that you actually do something with your life.
Also even simple jobs now like beimg a teacher now require you to do shit like write a cover letter amomg other credentials

>>21283045
>new fad

What a year. The day I became a wizard, my dog died of cancer. Not even a month later I met an engaged woman who love bombed the shit out of me until I started crushing on her, only for me to be stupid, ask her out, and get rejected. All these traumatic feelings from childhood resurfaced on account of it and I've been lost in several books on psychology for the past couple of months. But now I've got other girls texting me, without me doing a damn thing, which is something I've never experienced before. I feel like I was just initiated into the next phase of my life or something and it's finally going to involve women, and it's going to be both amazing and horrible.

Since the /film/ general on /tv/ is not up right now I'll ask here.
Have you watched any good film with a good commentary track? I feel like listening to someone talk about a good film lol. Hopefully about some film related to spirituality like a Bresson or a Bergman. Could be any good film really. I've seen Persona, Pickpocket, Belle de Jour and Late Spring with commentary tracks and they were all wonderful and very insightful, want to watch something similar now.
I also remember watching Taxi Driver with Scorsese commentary but he just kept talking about how they filmed a scene and another scene which is not what I'm looking for right this moment.

Warzone 2 is out and I'm getting FOMO

I have an addictive personality and video games fuck me up. I was about to go buy an Xbox Series S, monitor, and headset just to play some warzone.

I'm not even gud, just average. The FOMO hurts and i can't cope. I know it's a waste of time...

I need help

>>21283171
Forgot to mention:

>How addicted are you
I will play 12-hours a day.

>>21283171
Dude, who cares. Go play and have fun. This life is for the fucking birds anyway.

i want to pinch some east asian girl cheeks

I engender naught a crud for the dud whom resides with me. His namesake's Me, anonymously, and his scent's urine. What am I to undertake to rid this feces from the bowels of Earth he was given delivery. Regardless, one day he'll bespatter and pass and go to heaven, which I peer yonder way to go and be stoic with He alike.

>>21283135
I start with persons abnormal in their charm. Danny Devito and Tom Baker are, for some reason, among the least boring of them when it comes to commentary tracks, and in interviews Peter O'Toole and Kevin Klein are the most intelligent I've come across, despite their obvious difference in temperament. I can remember no director who wasn't a crashing bore, at least verbally.

>>21283214
*Werner Herzog excepted. As film directors go, he's uniquely eloquent.

Can cats have salami?

>>21283280
Why not? The salt may need rather a lot of water as supplement, but I've seen feral ones get by just fine on far less rich fare.

>>21282373
He's the iceman

can post again, feels good man, missed you guys, will get a 4chan pass

>>21283184
I want to amputate their hair and remind them of what a bra is meant to hold. That would please me almost as much as the sight of Gookmoot prostrate before a dozen investigative reporters, and another dozen paparazzi.

>>21279527
These chicks look like phosphorescent squid striped in face semblance. Dear God for some cleavage or a black muscle T.

>>21279527
The first erotic dream that I remember is the dream of princesses eating cake and fattening up until they can shit it all out.
Princess Peach was the first. She was on the treadmill, holding her skirt up so she could maintain pace with its belt. In front of her was a slice of cake, and she was eating it while she ran. As she ate, her stomach started to bloat up. It got bigger and rounder, inflating until something needed to break. The burst came from her bowels, tarnishing her white bloomers with a sickly brown, its yellowish tint coming from the dairy products in the pastry. Her shit spilled out over the floor behind her. When her splatter batter hit the treadmill it propelled it further away, beyond two meters and smearing on the ground. An intense relief washed over her as she expelled her delicacies, she had fully worked off her sweat and achieved full catharsis through her shitting.

Princess Daisy was relaxing in the bathtub. She was already relaxing her muscles, tired from a engaging day of sports she sank deeper into the bubbly waters of her bath. She had some of her cake, which was made from the same recipe as the other princess'. It was sweet, but not overwhelming, smooth and creamy, fulfilling and bright. It was truly a dessert suited for royalty. It always called for Daisy to have another bite, and it never seemed to deplete, even if she ate it whole. With every bite her belly got larger, until it rose out of the water like a brown turtle's shell. As it reached its zenith in the tub, she couldn't take anymore. When she released her shit it was smooth and watery. It didn't make any noise when coming out, instead it rapidly darkened the color of of the tub. From the clear and bubbly white of the Mushroom Kingdom's clouds to a dark brown, beyond the brown of her skin, coffee, or chocolate, the tub turned a thorough turd brown. Afterwards, Daisy was as relaxed as Peach. She stewed in her shit tub and let the turdwater soak her skin, relieved that she let out her stress.

>>21283171
I got Warzone and Killzone mixed up for a second

Some days I hate who I am, and who I've been.

>>21282989
he made you to be a cautionary tale for the rest of us

>>21279527
Awhile back it dawned on me the average Eurosceptic hardliner and Jews aren't much different in the objective 'telos' they want to eventually achieve.

>>21283547
National Socialism is just Zionism for Aryans.

>>21283045
>You can't say le the magic word!!! If you say le magic word the nice people will make a violence!

I begun to read at 24. The words deflect off of my mind like a raincoat and the image composed by writers is only flickering and transient. I don't feel connected to the words, it quickly becomes a dull amorphous experience. My sober imagination seems inanimate. Is this something that is practiced? I can't stand music, televison, or any other medium anymore. Books are my last chance.

I am going to subtly run my hands down the MILF's waist at the next dance class and see her reaction. She owes me a drink as it is. I think she is dtf because of how she lingered that one time and how we got a drink the next. But she left before I could ask her again last week and so now I'm a man who paid for a woman's drink with nothing to show for it.

>>21283552
Duly noted. I know Moses Hess and Theodor Herzl but this is just petty nitpicking at this point. that would make all nationalism Zionist which lends itself to putting Jews on a pedestal when they're really not that remarkable of a people except they really know how to get banned a lot. It says something about their character.

>>21283604
Hard to say, anon. Usually in school you start off easy and move on to harder and harder material. Perhaps you ought to try that?

>>21283576
Kind of reminds me of how I related this concept in a piece I did regarding the medieval (mostly) practice of "cursed words". No I'm not talking about "fuck" "shit" etc but words that brought about bad luck to either the person who wielded it or whom it was wielded upon, if you catch my drift. I don't think it was the main point of the article but I did mention it in passing.

>>21281914
>I really like this diary entry
Thanks dude
>I think you're problem is that you haven't found something that really sets you on fire and motivates you to do your best. I'd advise just looking into other fields and possibly a major change, but whatever you do connect with your fellow classmates and start collaborating with them
My coworker tonight recommended that I switch from computer engineering to computer science, it would suck wasting some credits but I think he has a point. Engineering is seriously a bad discipline for most people, if you don't have that "engineering brain" it will be 4 years of pain. The kind of thing where the way the professor goes through the material, mental connections that take you 10 seconds to understand in your brain are just things that naturally connects to him. My natural strong suit was always literature and creative stuff, so I suck ass at engineering. Like if it were a philosophy or literature degree, or a foreign language degree? That would be awesome. But none of those are profitable. Math might be the only field I don't hate which you can potentially turn a profit in. But even that's tough. Ahh, all fields are tough honestly. This is just the job market now.
>I had that problem too in my undergrad and it's starting to resurface again and getting out of myself and befriending my fellow peers made me stop procrastinating out of anxiety and fear and made me proactive in what I want to do in life. I wish you the best anon.
"Proactive in what I want to do in life" is a good phrase. If you don't chase opportunities and be passive then your dreams will slowly fade away. Thanks dude
>>21282047
What's weird is I ran into a lot of people who said corona was amazing for them since they loved online classes and it was easy to skirt by with easy work. Even though I can understand why he had that experience mine was just the reverse - corona fucked up everything I had going. Good luck on your project anyway man, I hope it succeeds.

>>21283648
>Like if it were a philosophy or literature degree, or a foreign language degree? That would be awesome. But none of those are profitable
Grass is always greener. I'm finishing up my lit degree and I completely regret it. I've no clue what I'm doing with my life.

Why do I find everything ugly? I can’t stop seeing everything this way.

I trample the peons.

>>21279527
I am insufficient

>>21281726
>>21283648
Just watched this, you and I are very similar. I'm 22, first started Uni in 2018, I should've graduated by now but instead I'm a freshman or sophomore credit-wise. Only did 3 semesters, 1 of which is no longer on record (withdrawal), 1 of which I ended up failing from not finishing the work (Spring 2020, COVID fucked me up).
I preface with this because you might find it reassuring. I dunno, I always feel very alone in my position, no one I know has fucked up their academic career like I have. For the record, I was also a good achiever in HS, A's and salutatorian and shit.
I just don't care. I experienced a similar thing to you at the grocery store -- for me, it was a Staples -- and I deathly do not want to end up a Staples guy. But even still, I simply do not care, even after spending a semester wageslaving when I was supposed to learn my lesson.
I'm broken by the occasional bout of motivation, manic energy expenditure. But like you always end up not doing the classwork after a month, it always dissipates.
This year I enrolled in a CC to get credits to transfer back to Uni. I have withdrawn from the same class 3 times over the past year because I just can't be arsed -- I've even actually gotten credit for it already, but it doesn't count for my particular university because it wasn't at a state CC.
The fact that I just can't learn my lesson is where the biggest source of hopelessness comes in. I mean, all this shit and I'm still acting so retarded? I'm just stupid, incompetent at this point. What's the excuse?
When I was on a better streak I realized a big part of it is how I spend my time. I run away from things I have to do by scrolling the internet or playing video games. Honestly it's mostly internet, I don't consider using the internet an "actual activity" so it doesn't even register. There's also some science that shows that using the internet basically shuts down your sense of time, I can link the vid I watched. You're on this site, maybe you have this problem too.
I was helped when I realized I actually wanted to do some things. Mostly related to learning hobby skills and going on an overseas adventure. But it always "do the ez schoolwork then you can start working those goals this semester!" And I wouldn't do the fucking schoolwork and so I wouldn't do the hobbies but damn do I have a nice hoard of internet memes and reaction images now.

I feel so much better wearing shoes 1 size too small. It boosts my confidence and I feel like I look great. But I’m going to damage my feet in the long run. Wearing my true size, i feel ugly. I’m having a mental breakdown over this.

>>21279527
As of today I've lost 34 lbs, down from 292 in August. I've at least 80 more pounds to go until I can consider myself human.
I wish you all luck in your own journeys to become human, however that might look like for you.

>>21283747
>I was helped when I realized I actually wanted to do some things. Mostly related to learning hobby skills and going on an overseas adventure. But it always "do the ez schoolwork then you can start working those goals this semester!" And I wouldn't do the fucking schoolwork and so I wouldn't do the hobbies but damn do I have a nice hoard of internet memes and reaction images now.
Heavily relate to this. I get that feeling a lot, like I'm procrastinating my life away. For me I just always have this deep seated fear that I will never measure up, and so then I get into this all or nothing mindset. I also become enslaved to this feeling of constantly needing stimulus, and of rechecking online and the passing short term thrill of getting a response.
It reminds me of this quote I read here:
"This all leads to a form of neurosis which H.G. Baynes has described as the "provisional life," that is, the strange attitude and feeling that one is not yet in real life [1]. For the time being one is doing this or that, but whether it is a woman or a job, it is not yet what is really wanted, and there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about. If this attitude is prolonged, it means a constant inner refusal to commit oneself to the moment. With this there is often, to a smaller or greater extent, a savior complex, or a Messiah complex, with the secret thought that one day one will be able to save the world; the last word in philosophy, or religion, or politics, or art, or something else, will be found. This can go so far as to be a typical pathological megalomania, or there may be minor traces of it in the idea that one's time "has not yet come." The one thing dreaded throughout by such a type of man is to be bound to anything whatever"

What's the english/language/grammer version of accounting?
>inb4 teaching english

I the Preacher was king over Israel in Jerusalem. And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit. That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered. I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge. And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

>>21279527
I just remembered as a middle school kid/high school freshman/sophomore I had a weird view about gays that you had be an insanely rich yuppie to be homosexual and that working class people were strict heterosexuals. I chalked it up to never being busy and having too much free time so you'd get bored and start having intrusive thoughts about weiners

>>21283749
Are you a woman? I've only seen women wish their feet were smaller.

>>21283827
Some men try to wear shoes to big for them, I think because it might make them taller or they want to signal they have a big dick because they have big feet.

>>21283827
I’m not a woman. But having a smaller shoe size would make my outfits look much better. Wearing my true size, it’s clearly worse to me. And this makes me really depressed.

>>21281726
While I've never worked in a grocery store, I have worked various shit jobs over my college career and am struck with the same terror at the thought of ending up like one those guys stuck in a shit job. And like you I've found myself heading down a bad path.
I don't have academic problems really, but I've used my time incredibly poorly. My social skills are poor and I've become even more reclusive since covid. I just can't break out of my shell. It feel like my life lacks direction and every option before me just looks like shit.
I know the placid type you see in those kind of jobs. In my first college job we had a word for them. We called them "lifers". One girl there referred to me as a "lifer", which sort of enraged me.
I've also seen people in incredibly crappy jobs who seem totally cool with it. At my last job the two janitors who there were incredibly positive.
It's because they don't know anything better.
After enough time working in these jobs, though, it feels disgusting like you feel like an actual piece of trash having to associate with people living in poverty, and the thought of falling down to their level. Maybe that sounds harsh but after a time the humiliation of working these jobs gets to you.
For me the fear is the idea of turning into a real life version of the character Charlie from It's Always Sunny.
Like that character is funny in a t.v show, but would be pathetic irl
I've met a person at one of these jobs who was legitimately like Charlie from IASP and seemed totally unaware of shitty his life would seem to others.

>>21283749
>>21283839
ayo this nigga a fuckin clown, he wears big shoes n shiet lmao fr
I bet everyone that sees you instantly thinks you look like a clown lol

>>21283827
I'm a man and I'm not a fan of big duck feet on women. it looks masculine as hell.

>>21283834
I thought the whole thing was about big hands actually?

>>21283843
I wish I could feel bad for you but you went to university so good luck.

>>21283846
They should. If they don’t, they’re retarded. But most people don’t have feet that match their body well.

>>21283752
Nice job anon

>>21283850
Going to university isn't a guarantee of anything if you don't use the opportunity wisely.
Pretty much everyone goes to uni these days.
It means nothing. Anyone with a pulse can get a degree in something.
I'm not fishing for pity. I openly admit that I was a retard who wasted his opportunities.

feel kinda gay. sodomy disgusts me but i could see myself entering an emotionally romantic relationship with another man

>>21283868
>Pretty much everyone goes to uni these days
Golly gee wilikers thats fascinating. Unlike you, I could never afford it. Must be grand to have piece of paper where you can look down on Cletus in bumfuck nowhere and analyze his problematic whiteness and laugh as his wife sluts around him while he gets hooked on oxys. Pol Pot didn't go far enough.

>>21283883
Not my problem don't care. Cry harder.
I don't know what is with you poorfag retards with assuming that everyone who goes to college is a progressive.
But yes I don't care about Cletus and his white trash problems.

>>21283874
sounds like you need a friend

>>21283889
>everyone who goes to college is a progressive
yes, you are to the left of everyone else, despite your insistence otherwise
>I don't care about Cletus and his problems
of course you don't. you lack solidarity with your own kind. you're like a jew in almost all ways except for appearances

>>21283889
maybe it’s because higher education used to be intimately related to the spiritual and moral betterment of an individual, such that university graduates were expected to be instilled with the three greek virtues of temperance, bravery and justice, and the three christian virtues of faith, hope and charity. Now, it’s just ‘fuck you got mine-ism’, aye ?

>>21283902
>yes, you are to the left of everyone else, despite your insistence otherwise
The hyper political progressive shit is mostly just in humanities, but yes on average people tend to be more liberal at universities.
In any case I think I know my own beliefs better than random retard anon.
>of course you don't. you lack solidarity with your own kind.
No, it's cause Cletus isn't my "own kind". Culturally, socially, and in every other conceivable way I am likely to have nothing in common with the sort of person named Cletus.
They are from a different class and culture than me.

>>21283907
Come to think of it he just confirmed my suspicions in the original post

>>21283907
>maybe it’s because higher education used to be intimately related to the spiritual and moral betterment of an individual,
This never existed.

>>21283909
>I know my beliefs better you
Are you sure about that?
>Cletus isn't my own kind
That's nice. So are you a poo, a chang, a sambo, female? I bet you're enjoying that sweet affirmative action.

should one let their gf get a boobjob?

>>21283919
My friend told me its a raw deal. Implants burst. There have been many cases of women dying from exploding implants. Use caution or just forget about it.

>>21283919
with your money?

>>21283883
>Unlike you, I could never afford it.
Nigger I was poor as shit growing up, public universities give out a shitton of financial aid if you're poor
You're just coping because you never figured out the system or your grades were too poor to get in anywhere

>>21283918
You're so brainwashed it's actually hilarious. Disconnect your mind from /pol/ for two seconds. You're actually incapable of independent thought. You see the world through caricatures because the only education you have ever received is from 4chan.
>That's nice. So are you a poo, a chang, a sambo, female? I bet you're enjoying that sweet affirmative action.
I'm white from the midwest. Cletus is not my own kind because I've never known someone by that kind of name. It sounds like the type of name that a Southern redneck would have.
A southern redneck is not my own kind.
In any case you're sounding like the progressive one here, as you're making the case that me a more well off White should for some reason care about poor Whites from an entirely different background than my own.
Why should I care about this person?

>>21283926
Modern American Values™, brought to you by <insert anon’s alma mater>

>>21283765
That quote sums it up profoundly. Have you read more of that material? Does it offer any solutions to the attitude?
You should update your youtube account with a business email, I might email you with more dialogue about this outlook.
>and of rechecking online and the passing short term thrill of getting a response.
Glad it's not just me, I feel pathetic when I realize I'm doing it

>>21283923
thats strange because the tuition fees were extremely high around here I tried to apply to YSU and they told me that I needed to have more than summer employment to cover the costs. I wasn't making bad money but some of that money had to go to rent

>>21283926
>4chan
I've only been here a little bit. I knew of this site almost twenty years ago but didn't really dawn on me to come here.
>Cletus
it was a metaphor. of course it seems like its more of a class issue than a race issue with you. also I don't post on /pol/. not enough discussion about concepts over there. I've seen the board once and it was a trash heap. I like to shitpost as much as the next guy but when it comes to brass tacks, I actually like deep discussion about things.

anyways, good for you. I hope you're enjoying your success.

>>21283946
You applied to one state school?
Google says average cost after aid is $12k, same as my public uni and I had little problem getting that down to $1.5-2k. One sem was even full ride but I lost the scholarship because I'm retarded

>>21283945
No I wish I knew were the quote came from. I actually saw it on here.
I'm not the anon that uploaded the video but if you want to email me feel free. I don't want to give out my personal email, but
feel free to shoot me one at
buttsmith3@gmail.com

>>21283922
her money, she's always felt bad about her mosquito bites

>>21283918
NTA but for all you dumb fuck white solidarity types, Cletus sure does make it hard for most other whites to sympathize
I'm a second gen immigrant from fucking Europe, my neighbors all my life have been a family of hicks and I assure you, Cletus is not my own kind either, as much as I sympathize with how much elites hate him

>>21282401
No it isn't. Infact that should be standard. And any system that doesn't lead to that outcome should be disavowed

>>21283960
>from Europe
>isn't from here
Opinion discarded

>>21283946
>it seems like its more of a class issue than a race issue with you.
Maybe a bit, but I think it's also cultural. My family is by no means rich. We're about standard middle class. All the same I don't think anyone white from where I'm from would think of someone like Cletus as their own kind.

>>21283914
what did you think Plato’s academy even was ? Aristotle’s nichomachean ethics ? The trivium, quadrivium, and induction into the sacred truths reflected through geometric order and grammar ? Why do you think reputable universities in Europe all required papal bulls ? utter, utter dolt.

>>21283959
genetically inferior and so insecure about it to the point where injecting plastic into her body to gimmick her betters seems like a good option
she ain't the one

>>21283958
As to where this outlook comes from.
I think I've always had a very addictive personality. When I'm into something that is providing me with positive stimilus I will continuously seek it out in a burst of energy, and then the rest of the time be completely disinterested in everything.
Me right now writing this is the product of one of those little bursts of energy.
The issue is that often those bursts get diverted into completely pointless things.
I'm not sure if there's a fix. Maybe for people like us we just have to completely quit from using the internet if we ever hope to accomplish anything. The issue though with that is that so much of everything today requires the internet, but its like a crack addict having crack continually hovering under their noses.
I wish there was some way to harness the good aspects of the internet while jettisoning the addictive nature of it.

>>21283967
>what did you think Plato’s academy even was
A fan-boi group centered around sucking Plato's dick
>Aristotle’s nichomachean ethics
A loose collection of lecture notes
>Why do you think reputable universities in Europe all required papal bulls
Because the Catholic church was the most powerful institution up and through the middle ages.

>>21283980
it’s like communicating with grug

>>21283964
Yes exactly, I'm trying to get you to understand that advocating for me (whiter than you and Cletus) to be in solidarity with retarded redneck #688990 isn't the logical step you think it is.
I was born here and lived my whole life as a white American but this is not enough for you. You correctly identify me and Cletus and yourself, since you seem to posture as an old stock hick, to be "not of the same kind," just like the other anon did.
We are in agreement: he and I have no reason to care about Cletus in particular.

>>21283965
For the record, we're probably similar, middle class, Midwesterner, I think the reason was my family worshipped the middle child so much (im the oldest, a guy. The middle child is a girl) and its just resentment. Nothing about my sister is redeemable. She's a conceited, sarcastic, frigid woman who since adolescence has treated me like a mix of a charity case and a literal tumor (I have assburgers) and stunted my view of the opposite sex to the point where I think women are only good for pumping out kids (granted, I've had a decent share of girlfriends, but they all ended up being the town bicycle or were literal backstabbers, a few got wrecked because I misunderstood their body language) I probably have late onset abandonment issues and I'm living in a duplex in a generally lower class neighborhood.

>>21283992
To be frank, I only care about the opinion of founding stock Americans. I don't give two shit about the opinions of pollacks, potato niggers, wops or whatever other dreck washed up on Ellis Island after the turn of the 20th century. I hope you understand.

you two are so gay you should have gay sex togheter (penis goes inside guys butthole instead of girl vagina)

>>21283991
Universities have always been to an extent about "got mine".
You reference Plato's Academy, but while I'm not an expert on classical greece, I'm doubtful this was anything close to the modern equivalent of a university.
He also lived in a slave society and was on the top of the top, so talk about "got-mine"....
Universities back then were probably more like a small fan-boi club consisting of the relatively elite.

>>21284001
Preschool

>>21284006
your rather rudimentary understanding of Nietzsche is in no way developed enough to be making readings of ancient athenian society. Metaphysics and ethics were, up until Kant, considered inexorably intwined, it’s really that simple.

>>21284000
Yes absolutely, and I hope you understand other whites' warranted disdain of you. Perhaps after that you can figure out how your own country's university system works.

>>21283958
>>21283975
>I wish there was some way to harness the good aspects of the internet while jettisoning the addictive nature of it.
Real shit
emailed

>>21284037
I don't care to understand their gripes or even dwell on it. Not my fucking problem. I'm not gonna sit and listen to your patronizing tone that sounds suspiciously similar give or take any blue or neon green haired yuppie from Williamsburg. Get a trip so I can filter you and this exchange is over.

>>21284062
Ironic, those yuppies are mostly your old stock kin lmao

>>21284068
Probably, but I'm no way shape or form in their class bracket anymore.

the thing that frightens me the most about marriage is not divorce, is not the dead bedroom, but the woman degenerating into a nagging cunt who sucks all joy out of life

>>21284086
The dead bedroom frightens me the most. Its like sharing a bed with someone who you're supposed to be passionate with only she's always miserable, tired, probably fat at this point from pregnancies and everything becomes extremely routine and when she's asleep you stare at the ceiling wondering "did I make the right decision". You stay together for the children but its almost like your sharing a bed with someone you don't even know

Greatest.
Feminazi.
Ever.

Wish I was a forest spirit

How come I can read for hours all these shitposts, yet I can't read a book for 6 hours? After all it's still reading, there are barely any images and no sounds.

As soon as I start browsing the internet I lose track of time and any resemblance of self control goes out the window. I once managed to stay away from the internet for 7 days, and I actually started to feel a lot better during that time, yet there was always this nagging voice inside my head that told me to just have a quick peek at my favourite sites, and in the end I just gave in.

I need to stop being terminally online

I wish we could be heroes

I am trapped in flesh.

I am completed, up to Part 2 of the Knight's Tale, with my annotated retranslation of Canterbury Tales. I'm thinking of releasing it free onto the internet in stages, or maybe through here, since monetizing it would be impossible.

>>21280102
>If it fucking was social signalling
>buy his game for years
Why then was his game even for sale if there was no social elements involved?

>>21284418
One of those 2 things involves mental effort.

The fact that literally everyone in genre-related hobbies is hooked on porn like a crack addict and obsessed with porn and won't give a single shit about any entertainment that isn't porn, won't talk about anything except sex and fetishes or what they have between his legs and what he likes to do with it is driving me insane. Ironically this is one of the best places to be because at least you can hate sex-obsessed "sex positive" faggots and other alphabet people and women who seem to be even worse than men in this regard.
I always had resentment for people but seeing them regress into mindless apes by the day is genuinely driving me insane.

>>21284605
>literally everyone is X
This is always a sign that you're dealing with projection, anon

>>21284608
>go out in the street
>everyone litters
>do my best not to litter
>literally see people throwing litter on the ground
>complete indifference by everyone
>dog takes shit on sidewalk, owner takes a shit too
>eventually you tell someone "man why do you litter like that"
>"fuck do u want u faggot Im gon kill ya"
>open 4chan on the phone
>"I really don't like that everyone litters"
>"UR PROJECTING"
>look at my hand
>am throwing trash out in the street like Santa on Christmas Eve
>it was me all along

>>21284605
Does this include music?

>>21284630
A. Not what projection means
B. Not everyone litters.
"A lot of people litter, or watch porn" yes. But your perception of that behavior as a universal is classic projection. You are projecting an unhappiness with society borne out of some internal, psychological affect (which may really have nothing to do with littering, or pornography, etc.).
I don't point this out to silence you, but in hopes you will turn your perception inward and address the root of the projection.

>>21284640
By genre-related I meant fantasy, sci-fi and all that escapist shit
>escapism is immature, what do you expect
yes I know, it's my fault
In any case I don't care about music, I don't listen to music as a habit.

Thoughts on attending graduate school at 30? It's not ideal, but is it that much worse than starting at 25?

>>21284646
shut the fuck up you stupid nigger
you know exactly what I meant and what I was talking about
stop trying to anger me by acting like a retarded faggot.

>>21284648
Best time to plant an oak was 20 years ago. Second best time is today.
> t. Beginning University at 26

I have a buddy I used to visit a lot, I think he's a zoom zoom and I'm an early millenial and the other day he talked to me online and told me a bunch of shit that was going on with him psychologically and I looked up the symptoms and it appears he has flat affect and responds very inert to strong emotions. This worries me as it might cause problems with whatever chick he ends up dating. Just a hunch.

>>21284649
>continues projecting

>>21284647
That's fine. I love the shit and played two or three instruments for a long time. My tastes are mostly rock, punk and metal but I like jazz, folk and classical music too and even some whacked experimental and industrial music. To each their I own I guess.

>>21284650
>>21284650
Undergraduate? I think it's different for undergraduates.

My life is fucked, I missed my chance. I can't wait for my parents to die so I can jump off the bridge 5 minutes from my house.

>>21284672
Oliver Cromwell was a nobody until he was middle-aged.

>>21284673
>person from wealthy family in the past where individuals had much more leverage than today was a "nobody" until middle-aged
not him but I'm so glad that you said that, this literally changes everything
I can't wait to uhhhhhhhhh start my own TikTok?

>>21284658
I used to play as well and listened to a ton of different music. I got sick of it years ago. I'm just tired of mindlessly consooming a bunch of noise. All that is left for me to enjoy is storytelling but objectively speaking nobody is interested in storytelling anymore, most people believe that all stories have been told in one form or the other, so everyone's just concerned with getting a bunch of base level stimuli. That's why art these days all boils down to a flavor of pornography or outrage porn or something else to get a raw base level reaction out of you. Like characters are killed to elicit a reaction from people, not because of the story. It's grotesque and horrible and everyone's like this. Everyone's just some kind of cow in a farm eating slop with its mind drifting and getting milked nonstop. I am so fucking annoyed that I try to escape this shithole of a website after too many years it's no longer welcome in my life and the first, literally the first thing I see in any other community is an even more debauched mindset, I don't know it's even gayer and more pornographic than the shit that gets posted here, at least people are self-aware about it in this garbage dump of a site. It's like everywhere else on the internet people have half the brain that the shithead monkeys here have. It's maddening, maddening. The stupidity and grotesque inhumanity of normalfags is horrific

>>21284718
He was born into the gentry which was a sort of landed middle class. It was like the aristocracy but not the aristocracy. They were the upper middle class of their time. But his father left him practically nothing. He was impoverished and responsible to house, feed, clothe, and pay the dowries for his sisters. He was practically broke and nearly fell out of the gentry altogether and lived as a pauper. He had both physical and mental health problems. The only things he had going for him were that he was a convinced Christian and believed that God had a purpose for his life. Eventually, he started to make some money and entered Parliament.

All of this could've been discovered had you done the research, but you wanted to whine instead.

>>21283747
That's really rough man, but I guess we're in the same position. The crazy part is at the beginning of college I was doing so well I got onto the Dean's List one semester. And then... something fucked up in my head, and no one was around to save me so I just kinda fell apart. Maybe you can relate.

>The fact that I just can't learn my lesson is where the biggest source of hopelessness comes in. I mean, all this shit and I'm still acting so retarded?
I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. All those successful people who graduate in 4 years also often have good support systems, decent-size friend groups, no mental issues, and money is not a problem. The only answer I can think of for you now is honestly just change to a subject you enjoy. As long as it's not a useless degree (lots of careers just require -any- degree also), it'll help you out so long as you graduate. Otherwise if you think college just can't work out at all, maybe get your IT certs like the A+ and Network+ and look for part-time gigs, if you enjoy it then say to hell with it and drop out. Best of luck

>>21284779
Anon there were like 10 people back then. Just look at the biographies of other "middle class" people at the time, they had obvious access to people who were influential. Unless you were a complete peasant you had quite a lot of social mobility in the past, and because there were far fewer people you had far more weight as an individual. There's absolutely no comparison to being a "middle class" shitter here whose meaning of "middle class" means he doesn't have to buy his groceries at the discount supermarket. Even being "in debt" back then was entirely different than that it means today.

>>21284789
I agree. If you do focus on the irrelevant details and comparisons, that does undermine the basic fact of what happened, namely, that Cromwell was suffering and on the downturn until his religious conversion at nearly 40 years old.

Just think about the fact that influential artists, people who were almost regarded as simple craftsmen back then, could make rather important enemies or piss off the Pope in some way and keep working and getting paid. Now that artists are regarded as demigods they will get into major shit if they slip a minor statement against the wrong people. Everything today is bolted down so hard it's practically impossible to become anything or have any weight unless you are part of a select 1% who can actually pull strings. You have no power of your own, absolutely nothing you will do, nothing, will change anything. You could go out in the streets in a crowded place and make a groundbreaking speech or set yourself on fire or explode yourself killing 1000 people and things will keep going according to the program the next day. It's like trying to do this to an ant colony, you can do whatever you want, they'll keep doing their ant stuff. As a species we are practically insects now, there is no purpose in "art" because there is nothing to change, all that "art" is for is a distraction or literally a way to mechanically vent stress for tired ants who want to relax. There's absolutely no soul left in humanity, no fighting spirit, nothing. People could look at some dumb human who's exahusted and wants to set himself on figure and all they'd see is something entertaining to watch or interact with like you'd interact in a game, nothing but a pastime they'll forget about a minute later.

>>21283843
Yeah exactly. And if they seem truly happy, good for them you know? But imagine yourself at 40 or 50 years old working as a bagger or sandwich maker at a grocery store, wearing some stupid vest, pushing carts through a dirty parking lot. Doesn't it make you want to die? Wouldn't you rather not bother? Yeah it's not as bad as working in Korea and delivering packages from 9 AM to 12 AM, or living in China working 996, but you're trading your lifespan to make some CEO rich while they pay you barely livable wage.
>>21283945
I put my email in the channel if you wanna send something.
Thanks to the guys who subbed by the way, if you like that sort of audio blog type stuff I can upload more. I definitely have more stuff to talk about

>>21283101
>being this young
>not remembering when the hip thing for Americans was calling it an n-bomb and making every other country talking English to them online concerned about the nukes again
Bitch pls, I remember when China wasn't relevant

>>21284825
Shut up, non-American

Haven't been able to get off Twitter this past week. It's so entertaining to watch the leftists seethe now that some of their power has been taken away. They spent so long denying that there was any internal bias to the way the website was being operated and now are endlessly whining when this is being exposed as false.

>>21284821
Not him but I'm 3X and after trying various routes I've decided to NEET up with my savings and then when I'll have to wageslave to survive I'll just kill myself via exit bag. I wanted to wait till my loved ones were dead but I'll probably have to do it earlier. I think I've lived an unenjoyable life full of misery and I've had really bad episodes I never managed to forget and this loathing for people's true nature has prevented me from becoming an obedient little cuck who at this point in time would be working for a shitty anti-human company active on making life on Earth worse in every way, and married an adulterous woman and had a bunch of tranny kids. There is very little that kept me around for the past decade or so except a vague sense of commitment and responsibility toward my family.
I'm not a person who enjoys doing nothing, I actually love to work on something but I have become so demoralized by my experiences when I tried to get into some productive venue, seeing the kind of humanity I had to serve and the level of prostitution of the people involved and how pointless it is to do any of the work you're requested to do, I can't take working anymore. It's like no matter what you can do the world only wants you to bag sandwiches or make a shitty advertisement or some other soul destroying shit that is vile and disgusting and makes everything worse. Everything you learn will be devoted to destroying the thing you put your effort into learning. You learn about nature, your jobs will be about destroying nature because that's all that people have a use for. You learn art, it's put to use toward pornography and propaganda. You learn languages and humanities, they're put to use into making people less human and mangling language and communication further. Everything you are tasked to do is poison for yourself and others.
I genuinely hate people and society so I don't care anymore if they think I'm a loser but I really wish things were different and I lived in a place where I was a little more valuable, doing more valuable things.
I have stopped applying for jobs long ago. I have stopped trying to date. I don't watch the news, I have stopped doing the things I was passionate about because I don't see a point just autistically wasting my time on things that don't mean anything to anyone but me. I have tried believing in God but I could never believe it exists. I'm pretty much just waiting until the day. I do nothing but think about when I'll do it and if I should do it now instead because I'm so tired. It's not like anybody gives a fuck. My family only gives a fuck because I'm related to them, if I were a stranger they'd cheer like everyone else does when someone implodes under the pressure and off himself. Everyone's secretly thinking that you've freed some room for others to breathe. Leftists actually cheer that white straight men are killing themselves. They genuinely say good riddance. I don't think there's a way to win this game.

>>21284921
I don't like billionaires much but Elon is definitely one of the best of them

>>21284821
It's really not about the wage as much as it's about dignity imo. There are plenty of occupations which are and have been historically not well paid but which are basically dignified nonetheless. It's hard to find the dignity in being a bagger or sandwich maker.

>>21284930
I don't think it has to end like that man. If you hate the direction the world is headed in, try to change it. If you are unable to change it, do what Jacques Ellul did and diagnose the problem so maybe future generations can. At least leave your mark somehow, somewhere.

>>21284939
For sure. It's a combo of "your job is so easy a robot could do it" + manager who will ride your ass any time you slip up + customers who will ride your ass any time you slip up + doing THE SAME THING every day + total lack of autonomy or personal freedom. The only good part of my job is I slice meat and cheese for sandwiches so I can just slice myself infinite free "samples" of $20/lb meat and cruise through the shift

>>21284942
>At least leave your mark somehow, somewhere.
My point is exactly that there's nothing to leave a mark on. You could do literally anything, you could be a terrorist, you could be a saint, you could write the greatest thing, you could get into politics. None of these venues allow for anything true to happen and people themselves are completely airtight. It's almost impossible to touch anyone in any way. People are attached to what gives them the raw dopamine stimuli or whatever the fuck. They're in love with their favorite drug and that's all they care about. You can't talk anything into them, and that's impossible in the first place because nobody looks up at head level, they only look up at one of the higher layers of cred and other bullshit and you only get there if you're a certified servant of the system. Everything is completely airtight and bolted down into place. All my efforts were completely fruitless because I didn't understand this and I was deluded that you could actually do something that mattered. This is actually how they convince you that you will eventually escape and have some weight in the world, but an insect's always an insect, you can dress it up in any way, he's still an insect in an insect colony. I'm just really fucking tired of feeling so alienated, having surface level conversations, having to talk to employers, having to talk to women who ask me what kind of carrot I imagine myself as because there's a paper that says a certain answer means I'm a desirable employee. I'm tired of everything being gay, loud and fake, I'm tired of the grey shithole I live in, I hate cars, I hate people, I hate supermarkets, I hate this gross vulgar music, it's like people enjoy things that I find torturous and unbearable.

>>21284930
Just from a factual perspective, there is a large gulf between being a total NEET who does nothing and having to hold down a steady full-time job. There's part-time, there's freelance, there's commissions, there's odd-jobs. Jumping right to "if I can't just NEET and do nothing then I will kill myself" seems a bit hasty. You may as well spend some time trying to do that middle stuff. Death is coming for you eventually either way.

Fuck the American.
The American is a spiritual void.
The American wants to write a novel.
The American writes about work.
The American loves to work.
The American cannot conceive of any kind of activity that does not further or facilitate work.
The American would suck cock for a million hours a day if it meant he could get the chance to work.
If there is something likeable about the American it is only serving the function for him of facilitating his ability to work.
The American is a good boy who works.
He will work for 60 years to pay his debts and suffer a mental breakdown when he no longer works.
He mocks the black for working less than he does and resents the jew for working smarter, and he doesn't care whatsoever about the Asian because he still thinks he work for him.
The American is terrified of having his little green lawn taken away from him at any moment along with his moderately-sized shitbox, because it's his.
No one will take away from him his right to work for 60 years for his moderately-sized shitbox.
No one will take away from him his right to work for a slightly larger sized shitbox than the European or the Asian, who is assigned their shitbox.
The American would let his mother or father suck a thousand cocks to avoid paying their health insurance.
The American is terrified of aging.
The American resents the fact that his parents must age.
The American takes an idea and his first instinct is to make money out of it.
The American has no inner spiritual or intellectual life.
The gay man who fights for the right to work unmolested for twelve hours a day, and enjoy unmolested a servile relationship with a man who earns 40k more than he does and ensures his economic freedom, is the essence of the American.
The American thinks that liberation is freedom to work.
The American woman thinks that sexual liberation is freedom to make money out of your genitalia.
The American black thinks that racial liberation is freedom to make money out of your skin color.
Fuck the American.
May he work, and work, and work, and work.

>>21284960
It's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is. I've been pretty fortunate in that I landed in a big bureaucratic organization right after I graduated from college and most days, they pay me to do nothing. It's not a lot, but it's livable and really, there is a very small amount of work to do, many weeks no work at all. Still, I despise it. Why exactly do I despise it? It's hard to put into words. It's the computer, the meetings, the phone calls, the personalities, to talking about these things that I don't really care about and basically think nobody should care about, serving an organization that I don't really believe does anyone good, it's the waste of time, it's the insignificance, it's hard to say exactly what it is besides just saying this all rolls up into something not particularly dignified and certainly not remarkable. So in that sense, I can sympathize with your meat slicing even though I've never had that job and my current job is really very different and more luxurious.

>>21284963
I think Ernst Junger is a writer you could get a lot of value from. You should read his books, but I'll say that you would have to really penetrate his oeuvre pretty deeply to see the value.

>>21284965
>There's part-time, there's freelance, there's commissions, there's odd-jobs.
I'm tired of soul crushing shit. I said it.
To tie it all together I always have to remind myself that there's a good chance that the people I'm talking to here might be GP-3 bots. It's almost funny.

>>21284982
Not everything is soul-crushing though. You're on a literature forum, so surely, you don't find literature soul-crushing.

>>21284981
I know a bit about Junger. What does "value" even mean? It won't change my situation or my chances at changing anything. Between me and continuing to live there is an employer who doesn't give a shit.

>>21284975
Sounds kinda like my internship this summer lol
Having such a job would be kind of nice to me. Maybe try something more physically demanding
>>21284963
Do you think if you lived somewhere else you could become happier?

>>21285004
>Do you think if you lived somewhere else you could become happier?
I am not sure. Of course I imagine that a lot. It's easy to fantasize about living somewhere else where things are hypothetically different.

Reading through Caroline Ellison's tumblr made me realize that I've been following the discussion/direction of the 'smartest' cultural commentators of today while being in the wrong class. I'm 25 and work as a busboy.

>>21285011
It's normal to be upset at a society like ours in the modern day (especially if you're American). However (not sure if you find this pessimistic or not), pretty much all of it was written into fate in my opinion. The moment humans invented animal husbandry and traded their freedom for stability, the course of mankind was writ into stone. Agriculture means larger societies. Larger societies means competition. Competition means innovation. Innovation means technology. And well, technology? You know where that's taken us. So when I find myself upset at the state of the world, my mind just thinks "It was all kind of fated to happen anyway". Like no matter what you believe politically, stuff like outsourced labor and manufacturing was always going to happen. Brain drain and resource drain were always going to happen. The human mind with its infinite adaptability accepts all of this in passing, and says "As things are in my lifetime, it is the natural state", never really questioning how quickly it's all changing or what it even means.

But if you are such a pessimist, we have good reason to believe the human race actually will annihilate itself at some point. Why not? We all secretly believe it can't happen - "Oh, no one will ever -really- use those nukes." Well, show me the proof or law that says they won't. We almost did it in the 60s.

Anyway this is getting pretty bleak. If you think humans are fundamentally bad, put your hopes in gene editing. We've already got it mapped out after all.

>>21284974
>normal things but spun with bad connotations!

>>21284963
you leave your mark on other people clownie

>>21285048
I'm not American and I don't care about the future of humanity. This species can go to Hell for all I care. I only wish I didn't build my whole life on lies my whole generation was fed to keep the "economy" go 'round. I wish I wasn't born to inevitably live as a slave in a hive. They're going to start euthanizing people like me who are sane and able but cannot "function" soon. They already euthanize the homeless in Canada, after brainwashing them into consenting of course. You're like the chick who was born male in an egg factory, you go straight into the grinder.

>>21285070
bullshit

The lib. mind is crazy.

Entire twitter filled with publicly open, praised, loved snuff videos about Russians getting killed (when they can't even tell them apart from the Ukrainians without a description of the video in text),

but then you suggest what if you kill a nigger, as a prank, and all hell breaks loose and you get deleted from Twitter

I was probably born in the wrong time.

Incoherent drivel edition up

>>21285212
>>21285212
>>21285212

>>21285207
People are evil. Social norms are just a pretense that you give a shit about certain categories. As soon as you mention the "other" people say the most grotesque shit

>>21284020
Not sure where you got Nietzsche in my post. It's simply my opinion from having some knowledge of history.
Plato may talk a lot about "the good", but his conception of the good is radically different from my own and most modern people. I highly doubt anon's complaint about me having a "got mine attitude" because I don't care all that much about southern white trash would make much sense to someone living in such a different society; one where actual slavery was normal.
That complaint is rooted in modern democratic and egalitarian notions derived from the enlightenment.

>>21282874
Damn anon this made me tear up a bit