/lit/ - Literature

How do you truly appreciate classical music? I can be moved by Rachmaninov's 2nd piano concerto but most things seem to go over my head and heart and all other senses. I want to "get" Schubert.

I’m aware I’m disorganized and I stumble about with my day not being my best self, but at the same time, why should I try to do better ? I honestly don’t know.

Is it even worth reading "hard" books if majority of it just flows over your head? It seems like a colossal waste of time just to say that I've read that book.

>>21254627
>just to say that I've read that book.
If you're ever doing this, stop.

>>21254641
Im not reading hard books to be a poser but rather trying to understand whenever my struggling is a worthwhile.

My ass is a swamp.

>>21254657
if the word hard pops into your mind I think you've already lost.

>>21254574
Im afraid of confrontation whenever its sexual, aggressive, discussion or introspection.

did varg ever start another twitter after he got banned?

>>21254657
If you're reading it to just say you read it, you should stop. That is being a poseur.

>>21254759
Im not reading it just to be poseur. I picked up a book and it was (still is) a difficult one. Hence my original question.

>>21254582
You shouldn't really have to try... The beauty and/or gravitas should be apparent. If not, then you're probably lacking in in the cerebral department. I would suggest training your attention span (it may only be this that is deficient) by reading, but ostensibly you already do read?

>>21254777
you aren't going to understand most difficult books the first time you read them, which is why reading them to say you've read them is, yes, a colossal waste of time
it doesn't matter if you've read critique of pure reason 5 years ago if you don't know a fucking thing and most of it flew over your head. it's also useless to read it unless you're already invested in the topic and have read on greek and scholastic philosophy
if you just want an idea of what it's about you're better off reading one of those 100p basic introduction to books

Haven't had sex with gf in months. We were at her parents' place and she didn't want to. I took to masturbating frequently to get by but it was a mistake. Started getting sexual again recently. She throated my dick and I didn't feel much of it, and it took me 10 minutes longer than it should have to cum. I hadn't expected it and had came earlier that day by my hand, so that's probably why. No more masturbating for me.

Nervous about condoms. Most of the time I've worn one it reduced me to half-mast. Hoping I can get used to it. Sex and I have an unbalanced relationship. Seems like things never go quite the way they should. Maybe lack of masturbating will fix things.

>>21254798
Maybe you should grow some bigger balls. You might be gay as well. Or lacking in testosterone.
Or maybe you just arent attracted to your gf anymore.

>>21254798
I wouldn't hang by a woman that refused to fuck me for any length of time

>>21254756
Morfydd Clarke is hot but damn is she insufferable.

None of my friends read and it kind of sucks.

>>21254798
>nouns doing things
Jesus anon.

>>21254903
same
instead of getting smarter over time my friends got a lot dumber and basically their lives come down to going to work, following a guy on twitch, and shitposting about marvel movies

>>21254574
I think I might just go to some island and enjoy the calm. I might even live there.

>>21254798
have you tried communicating with her about it? had a similar thing a while back and the situation has slightly improved

>>21254574
listening to ashra's new age of earth - i highly recommend getting into berling school fellow anons. its sunny outside so thats the other good thing about this afternoon. feeling very comfy today overall. cheers brothers

I want to ask a girl out and the anxiety is killing me bros.

Haven't felt like this in a while.

I don't want to scare her away.

She's wonderful, I'm turning into a romantic.

>>21255295
how do you feel about your looks exactly? also, did she show any interest in you?

>>21255286
very based. i personally love cluster and manuel gottsching a lot, wholly recommend their records if you haven't listened to them yet.

>>21255308
we met randomly at a bar, had a really nice conversation and parted ways,

now I want to ask for a follow up because we had topics that are left open, I have more to tell her and it's annoying me,

everything was positive, but still, anxiety is killing me to the bones, it's unreasonable to the nth degree,

it's not a self-esteem issue, it's retardation

>>21255270
Yeah we just came to the conclusion that our sex life will return to normal when we live together, which we are about to. Anything you can recommend or share from your experience?

>>21254574
like a fucking idiot l injured my back doing deadlifts and now im slowly beginning to panic imagining the rest of my life with this. Ive only just started lifting as well ahhhhhhhh the pain isnt too bad but l cant move as before, hopefully it will go away soon but l have a creeping doubt this is more serious ahhhhhhhhh fuckkkkkkkkk

>>21255265
I feel the same way except I don't feel like I have what it takes to survive. I am willing to try though. And if I fail I am willing to die there. Seems to me like a more honest way to go out anyway. One of my coworkers was shitting on that "into the wild" guy for being stupid the other day. I wanted to beat him to death in front of my boss right there.

>>21255295
Good for you anon. Living life.

Putting book quotes into stable diffusion
see if you can figure out the books

>>21255374
yeah, it is unreasonable, you gotta chill. just ask her, you have nothing to lose, really

>I want to ask for a follow up because we had topics that are left open, I have more to tell her and it's annoying me

i know im stating the obvious, but just don't overwhelm her with your more advanced thoughts or internal and/or external struggles, if you have them of course. speaking from experience. shit makes you real embarrased after its said and done

>>21254574
What does it mean when woman texts you at evening about how she wants to get railed?

I replied with a cat picture because I didn't know what to do

>>21255478
she's more lit than me, it's the other way around, I wish I mentioned more books,

I feel like someday I'll be completely surrounded by people who believe different than me, and I'll feel both lonely and bewildered by the obvious falsities being believed all around me. Like if suddenly everyone else became a flat Earther, or lost faith in basic human decency and were all assholes. One vs. the many. I already kind of feel this way but it's not quite everyone, yet, nor is it as profound.

>>21255487
damn, she sounds interesting. good luck anon, we'll all gona make it some dau

>>21255492
FE belief functionality doesn't differ in how Spherical Earth beliefs manifests in daily practice, esp. among normies like you and me so why care, end result same

>>21255458

I need a cabin in the woods with no internet connection so I can get some real writing done.

Boredom is mother to literature. It's part of human nature to do anything other than read and write if the option is presented.

>>21255507
blood meridian

>>21255523
Thats what I thought too but I got to do it this weekend and all I did was realize I have nothing interesting or novel to put on the page, went for walks, and slept.

>>21255553
I have that problem sometimes. Sometimes you need to be primed and ready. I view it as having "inspiration juice". The amount of juice in your tank waxes and wanes mysteriously .

>>21255561
But what if I really am just another boring cunt with no style? Its statistically probable isn't it? I think I'll just stick to writing when I feel like it and try not to give a shit about how it comes out. But its hard when you set aside a good chunk of time and even with that luxury you can't get anything going.

>>21255413
that's interesting, but good to hear anon. our problem was that we had lived together for a long time, so the opposite of yours i think. i don't really have specific advice, but the general platitudes about communicating openly and making an effort really seemed to work. when your life gets into a routine (especially one that involves taking care of yourself) it's easier to give up on sex, so just be intentional about things.

i will say, i wouldn't sweat the saying "no" at a parents' house. mine had a similar problem one time, so maybe it's a woman thing (my sense is that many guys just don't care). now that i think about it, one my big takeaways is don't sweat any particular "no" or time where it doesn't happen. what matters is the overall pattern, feeling, etc. good luck!

>>21255487
don't contact her like an autist saying "we have so much more to talk about" or whatever /lit/-tier references you want to make. just text her and ask if she wants to hang out sometime

>>21254574
Who’s to blame for /lit/ being in the gutter this year? Is it /pol/? Incels? Zoomers? Debatelords?

>>21255632
those things you listed are an overlapping circle venn diagram lol

>>21255576
>But what if I really am just another boring cunt with no style?
I don't have answers for that. You need to practice and learn and suffer through the tedium of getting better.
> I think I'll just stick to writing when I feel like it and try not to give a shit about how it comes out.
I do that too, but I also do much less writing when that's the approach because I'm an internet addict and it is destroying my mind.

>>21255666
Ok satan. Sorry for dumping. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Of course you are right, practice with intent is the only way I can find out the answer to that question anyway.

>>21255632
The same thing that ruins it every year. This site.

>>21255678
Idle hands are the devil's workshop.

I cannot tell what she thinks.

>>21255707
>she thinks.
What matters is what she feels. You're dealing with a woman

Im going to leave this site for some time
Instead of reading I just waste my precious hours shitposting and consooming garbage online
I will rip out the wifi module/buy a feature phone/sell my tablets/block internet access on every device
Enough is enough, being terminally online has fried my brain and my high neuroticism has turned me into an internet addict

Mark my words and remember this post, I will come back in the following months as a completely new person and will reference this post inside my weekly 30 minute shitpost timeframe

Do you want to live Forever?

>>21255732
no. what now huh

>>21255723
It's an autistic slav, do they feel

>>21254574
used to love women, praise their beauty, tenderness, but now I only have a solid, natural inner will to, I'm sorry, strangle them. It's not my personal desire, it's sort of a natural instinctive feeling, same as hunger, and I think most man feel the same, when they hit certain age. I used to be romantic, believed in love, care, kindness, honestly, etc., not any more, their eyes, lips, faces, thin necks, only raise a desire to do it, and when you realize what a nightmarish shark-teeth monster is hiding behind those pretty zoomer faces, this desire turns into a something bigger

>>21255728
>I will come back in the following months as a completely new person and will reference this post inside my weekly 30 minute shitpost timeframe
Trust me dude, that 30 minute shitpost window will expand until you find you're wasting hours here again

>>21255707
Why not just ask her?

>>21255765
>Trust me dude, that 30 minute shitpost window will expand until you find you're wasting hours here again
Pic related will take care of that, I will study it as autistically as a I can and isolated from any source of distraction at my unis library
It's a self help book that actually works (according to a colleague)

>>21255737
What are you waiting for?

>>21255723
this but unironicly.

How often do you reread books? Every 5 years? 10? I have been feeling like I should reread some of the classics I read in my early 20's now that I'm older.
I could probably just reread all the books I've already read for the rest of my life and be content.

>>21254574
Just talked way too much & ranted. Coffee always does that to me.
Now I'm feeling embarrassed at my lack of self control and consideration.

I know that I shouldnt buy alcohol but I'm still going to do that.

>>21254574
Had a chat with my mom. She thinks I'm autistic and implied it in the conversation without stating it outright. I could tell for awhile she had the suspicion due to something I had said.
I know I'm not and am a bit offended that she thinks so. It probably shouldn't bother me but it does. I dislike the implication and find it embarrassing. But even bothering to argue against it only makes me look more suspect. It's hard to argue against someone's suspicion.
I don't usually have much issue reading others feelings. When I was younger and still today to an extent I have a bit of a negativity bias in the way I read emotions, but I've never struggled with naturally picking up on social ques.
I've also known autistic people and can't relate to their desire for organization/routine in everything. Or their tendency to see things in a very literal way.
I think she got the idea from an offhand comment I made & due to my lack of social connections.
I've always been a loner and reclusive but never because I failed to intuit others emotions. Usually it's the opposite problem. I'm very sensitive to others and can naturally feel their emotions just walking into a room.
Kind of annoys me that I'm not allowed to just be a loner or eccentric. Instead there's all these assumptions about me just because I choose to live differently.

>>21255993
Don't do it. It's just temporary pleasure and you will feel terrible in the morning

>>21256063
I already did.
I'm sorry.

>>21256118
Have fun, make sure to drink lots of water. Pour a full glass and keep it by your bedside.

>>21256059
>Kind of annoys me that I'm not allowed to just be a loner or eccentric. Instead there's all these assumptions about me just because I choose to live differently.
This is my biggest problem with psychology. The mainstream view now is that you either have a normative psyche or a defective psyche. The normative psychology is proven by social conformity in the most shallow and formulaic way. Everyone who doesnt "fit in" is therby mentally ill and needs to take his meds, now!

>>21256126
Thanks anon but I let you down. A completely random person in the world whom I'll never meet. It still hurts.

>>21256161
There is still time to drink water anon! I believe in you

>>21256059
Same, same except that it’s an older sister and a co-writer with a deeply autistic son, making the guess/accusation.
I’ve just decided to let it go as some sort of psyops trend. This woke/IDpol training they’re pushing on everyone so that we accept that we’re all just stupid and should trust the handlers and not go out of bounds. I forgive them easily. I want to prove them wrong in some spectacular way though.

>>21255993
Then stop

>>21256146
Not a fan of contemporary psychology either, but trying to be charitable here I think the whole idea of redefining mental illnesses as a spectrum was meant to move away from that binary and the sort of paranoia it engenders.
The idea being that it's not either you are ill or you aren't, but that the intensity and amount of traits people have, for let's say autism, varies across the entire population. Meaning that there are a lot of people with a couple slightly autistic traits. A smaller porportion with medium and then a very few percentage with a high amount. Or something to that effect.
Unfortunately I don't think the average person really understands what that means.
At the end of the day though most of these labels are just messy generalizations made meant to group people by different traits.
I think people should put less stock in these labels. People treat them so seriously and I don't think it's healthy.
It often just creates a kind of paranoia directed towards anyone that is at all weird or eccentric. Now it is assumed I'm autistic because I choose solititude. Not pleasant to be labeled by people when they know little about your inner mental life.
Or among those that identify with the labels it creates self fulfilling prophecies.

>>21256187
That's the attitude I want to take. Just opt to ignore or choose not to care about this shallow horoscope bullshit they're pushing onto people.
Sometimes it's hard to not let it get to me when people make assumptions due to my lifestyle.

>>21256261
>>21256118

I wish I was a fucking normie and didn't have my fucking brain go brmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 90000000000000000000000 rpms and overthinking fucking everything

>>21256285
The problem with that line of thinking is that degree of illness is still an illness, so regardless of the intensity of your "illness" you are still "ill." This only serves to broaden the group of people who fall under the ill category to almost the entire population. You have just one eccentricity you are therefore a low grade sicko instead of just a healthy persob with a quirk. This has led to the pathologization of every behavior. Every awkwardness, every bad day, every non normie interest is then interpreted to be an illness.
You're not bored, you're dysthmatic. You arent nervous, you have clinical anxiety. You arent having a bad day, you're depressed. This is now normal people think about themselves and others. We can all be defined by our standing on tbe mental illness spectrum rather than just exist as well integrated and self aware individuals

>>21256460
not that anon but is melancholic character and depression not the same thing?

>>21254574
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEAgkSOs4S0
few things are more patrician than this

>>21256460
I agree. I was just trying to give my best possible defense of psychology.
At it's best, it wouldn't lead to obsessive pathologization but to individuals seeking the strategies that best enable them to live well, whatever that means.
But obviously no matter what if you're defining something in terms of illness, that will never not be a negative term

>>21256485
How are they different?
The only functional difference is that the one is just melancholic character that is perceived as disabling.

>>21256556
But why is it perceived as disabling?

>>21256460
>This has led to the pathologization of every behavior. Every awkwardness, every bad day, every non normie interest is then interpreted to be an illness.
Completely agree. The rhetoric 100% encourages people to fixate & question their own behavior in a way that's not helpful. It's designed to widen the net of potential customers by making everyone question and think of their behavior as pathological. My roommates girlfriend I remember started to question if she "had anxiety" because of how much she tended to question herself & struggle to focus on her work due to stress, a complete normal thing that everyone struggles with.
My annoyance at the conversation I just recently had is that I can't help but feel like I was being gaslit a little, though I don't think she was purposefully intending to do so.
She brought up how as a child I'd always ask her why she was angry, and said that this shows that I struggled to correctly read faces.
The thing is my mom really does have a very icy demeanor and resting face. Which she herself acknowledges.
I went along with her suggestion, but now that I think about it more I think my observations as a kid were actually correct.
I was actually more attuned to her facial expressions & was correctly observing them.

>>21256581
? Because the person perceives it as such. That's the only criterion psychology provides.

>>21256594
Doesnt diagnosis usually prevent the further introspection? I think most people just want to get diagnosis to be sure what they have rather than think for themselves. Also getting meds just improve their current situation.

>>21255427
I have some bad news since this sounds like a disc herniation. Get a MRI referral and go with the results to a good neurologist/neurosurgeon. Treat it with care and don't be an idiot like me, I have fucked up my spine permanently and now I suffer from constant paraesthesia (numbness/tingling) on my lower extremities

>>21256594
It sounds like your mom is picking up on something closer to an earlier theory of autism, where "cold" mothers were supposed to produce autistic sons. It's called the refrigerator mother theory.
That's sort of why a lot of disorders get blurred in childhood diagnosis. If you go to one doctor the kid might be autistic, but if you go to another the mother might have BPD, and yet another might think it's a neglect situation. Your mother has probably picked up on some relationship dynamic where you both play a part, and is assuming it's one sided, and you not her. It is technically gaslighting, but it's probably best not to get too hung up on that.
What she's trying to do is work out why she doesn't feel a connection which she thinks she should, or why she's dissatisfied in a relationship. She also might not want to know the actual answer to that, and you might not either.

>>21256624
>Doesnt diagnosis usually prevent the further introspection? I think most people just want to get diagnosis to be sure what they have rather than think for themselves.
Yes I think searching for a label rather just looking and trying to change your own patterns/tendencies does prevent introspection.
By "question their own behavior" I just meant that the person becomes paranoid that certain aspects of their own behavior proves that they are "X - e.g have anxiety, are autistic,". They start searching for proof to fit the label, and the label provides a false comfort, that they have found the source of their problem

>>21254574
Why’s /lit/ so confrontational and obsessed with intellectual dick sizing?

>>21256634
>They start searching for proof to fit the label, and the label provides a false comfort, that they have found the source of their problem
This is a big problem, especially with suicide being linked with depression. If you suggest to patients that suicidality is an expected symptom, most of them present with it. The same thing happens with other symptoms and other disorders, but the obvious risk of suggesting their diagnosis will be confirmed by attempting suicide is really lethal, especially as it's often combined with drug therapies which could increase suggestibility or suicidal ideation or could decrease impulse control.

wow
quads

>>21256634
That's true but I still dont understand why people wear their diagnosis as a medal of honor.

>>21256633
>yet another might think it's a neglect situation. Your mother has probably picked up on some relationship dynamic where you both play a part, and is assuming it's one sided, and you not her. It is technically gaslighting, but it's probably best not to get too hung up on that.
>What she's trying to do is work out why she doesn't feel a connection which she thinks she should, or why she's dissatisfied in a relationship. She also might not want to know the actual answer to that, and you might not either.
Idk though the weird thing about my relationship with my mom is that it's simultaneously too close & yet distant at the same time. It's hard too explain. It's weird.
Like the relationship feels too close to me, like there ought to be more distance & she'll share things with me that I don't think are appropriate for a mother to share with a son. Which makes me very uncomfortable. And growing up she would read to me in bed for a very long time up until I was 14. I was never able to form a separate identity from my parents.
At the same time despite being so close we have a kind of impersonal relationship. I don't really have a personal life, so I don't have anything to share, but generally there is very little expression of feeling between us. This was something my mom was always bad at. She hated direct expressions of feeling and always felt it was best left to be indirectly expressed.
She's not neglectful really. She's just very withdrawn and a bit misanthropic. Is how I would describe her.
The other odd thing is that my brother turned out very different from me. He is a total socialite.

My unclegrandpa died and now my family from my mother's side is basically over. There is only me, my mom and my grandma.
My grandma moved here because she can't be left alone. I'm struggling.

I've had severe depression and loneliness for years, my mind has been in a weakened state for as far as I can remember and now my grandma is here. I feel obligated to spend time with her but it is really hard since she only talks about death and illness. I can't take this much longer.

>>21256680
While my mother is very withdrawn, I also wouldn't describe her as autistic.
She understands others emotions, she's just bad at openly expressing them herself. I'm the same way

>>21254574
Boulevard of Broken Dreams in Classical Latin

>>21256680
Though now that I think about it. My brother despite being very socially successful, seems to have his own problems. Which may or may not be related to my mother.
One thing both of us share, my brother at times seems a bit sociopathic. (Fittingly he works in marketing). He even has talked about how girls he's friends with, describe him as sociopathic.
The more I think about my family, the more I realize how fucking weird we are.
I don't like to think about it. I usually distract myself with intellectual pursuits and ignore my family lol
My other brother the oldest, sits inside all day playing video games. We don't talk about him.....

>little sister is reading a book
>ask her what it's about
>she doesn't want to say
>I ask her now and then and she refuses to elaborate
>the time is yesterday
>tell her about a romance book I read (wasn't really romance)
>she decides to tell me what she's reading
>it's an erotic reverse harem book for children
>its age listing on amazon is children <12
>ask her who recommended it to her
>her literature teacher
Tell me why the west doesn't deserve to burn

>>21256680
Some of these things have therapy terms which link them to narcissistic parenting (parentification for example where the parent treats the child as a parent or peer and overshares because they can't understand the kid isn't an adult and has different needs; not being able to express your own emotions and not wanting other people to express theirs either; not allowing kids to form their own identities). I don't know if that really helps however, because parents who do those things are fragile and doing those things because they're not equipped to deal with being called out about it, and so it's not like raising the issue with the parent benefits anyone usually.
I'd suggest learning about yourself independent of your family like you should have done as a teenager. If you're still a teenager then you might be doing this anyway. A very big part of that is establishing your own boundaries. That's hard for children but necessary as an adult. You might get a more adult relationship with your mother then and she won't feel the need to call you autistic. But if you want her to back off in some ways, and get closer on others, you need to be the one to make those boundaries for yourself. Letting someone else set them for you is not just disempowering for you but also probably means she can't see you as a real independent person because there isn't a boundary between you and her because neither of you have established one.
Daily reminder and disclaimer 4chan is not your therapist and you should treat all advice from here as from 4chan.

And M.E. I eat dust
We're all so run down
I'd call it my death
But I'll only fade away
And I hate to fade alone
Now there's only M.E.

We were so sure
We were so wrong
But there's no one left to see
And there's no one left to die
There's only M.E.

Why should I care?
Why should I try?
Oh no, oh no
I turned off the pain
Like I turned off you all
Now there's only M.E.

>>21256752
You need to march into the district office and get that motherfucker fired right now

I find myself entangled in the consequences of the past.

Hey /lit.
You solve everything.
Do you share the data?

>>21256752
I found hardcore furry porn in the children's section once. I knew it was furry porn because my adult friend had told me she was pissed off this series she had started reading had begun as simple fantasy and devolved into interspecies orgies by the second book, and she had ordered the second and third together. The book in the children's section was the fourth book and when I told her about it being in the children's section she told me that one was a mix of furry porn and vore. We decided whoever stocked it must have only read the first one, but this led me to believe the author was doing this knowing children love series and the first book was to get them hooked. We should burn it all.

>>21254574
>Write What’s On Your Minds
Are there fantasy books where MC actively practices dark arts, blood rituals, human sacrifice, and other forms of evil occultism?

>>21256763
Not really interested in therapy. Went through my suicidal wild phase from 18-20. I got it mostly out of my system. (22 now).
I don't know if I'd go as for as calling my mom narcissistic.
She was never neglectful and my parents have always been very supportive. She's just withdrawn into herself and has some bitterness inside she can't express, which she instead expresses through an obsession with politics and trying to perfect her, never finished, book.
I'd describe her more as a socially anxious perfectionist.

>>21256796
That's the case with the series my little sister read. The first book is an innocuous romance, the subsequent ones are extremely degenerate reverse harems. I have an unproven conviction that groomer authors and teachers are doing this intentionally to skirt past censors.

>>21256752
kill that nigga

>>21256816
>I'd suggest learning about yourself independent of your family like you should have done as a teenager
This is something I struggle with. I've never felt like I know myself.
It's a theme I find myself returning to again and again. I'm attracted to images of faces without faces. Like pic rel ("Truth is the realization that I realize nothing")
I do feel like I've missed some kind of development everyone else went through as a teen.
I was always so held back, restrained, and mute. I'd hardly say a word, or I'd say way too much.

>>21256847

I do not understand this life. I know that I have a finite time left but I just do not do anything with it as it feels like I'm just killing it till the death.

>>21256816
Narcissistic parenting isn't the same thing as narcissistic personality disorder. Most people who do it wouldn't be considered NPD/BPD at a level that is diagnosable, though some are. It just means the parent has some traits that stop them from understanding their child's perspective, so they can project feelings or needs onto the child which are more about their own issues than the kid's needs. It isn't necessarily abusive or neglectful, though it can be, but it is about a disconnection between what the kid actually wants and needs and what the parent thinks is right. For example, a mother who grew up without swimming lessons might force her kids to take them though the kids don't really like swimming, but the mother is trying to not make them feel deprivation she felt even when they are insisting they would not feel deprived at all by dropping it. The disconnection doesn't have to be abusive to be present. Most narcissistic parenting happens because the parent thinks they are doing the right thing and they would feel unsafe if they did otherwise.

>>21256908
I see what you mean. Yes, my mom grew up in a large family, and I think she paid me so much attention because she always talks about how she was always more ignored as the youngest in such a large family (I am also the youngest of my siblings)
>disconnection between what the kid actually wants and needs and what the parent thinks is right. For example, a mother who grew up without swimming lessons might force her kids to take them though the kids don't really like swimming,
I feel like this, though, is just describing all parenting. Pretty sure every parent does this to an extent, tries to make up for what they lacked in their own childhood with their own kids. It's only natural

>>21256937
The thing that makes it narcissistic is not being able to take the feedback from the kid if it doesn't fit the script they have pre-written from their own issues. Most parents can take the feedback and change the script. Narcissistic parents cannot and will use everything from guilt to ignoring to outright abuse to make the kid fit a role. For example, kids who do everything their narcissistic parent wants because that is how their parent is happy might seem perfect from the outside, but inside they're constantly bearing the burden of keeping mom or dad happy, and guilty about anything they might do to upset that happiness. The consequence of fucking up might be as simple as mom or dad sulking for a little while, but from the child's perspective it's their fault their parent is unhappy and they have failed their parent. That shouldn't be the kid's role but the parent has vested so much of their self esteem in the kid that the kid has picked up on their deep seated need for a kid that doesn't disappoint their expectations and doesn't have their own independent expectations. It's basically teaching the kid the parent's boundaries are more important.

>social status is judged by emotional expression
>angry, proud emotions = high status
>sad, guilty emotions = low status
I knew we never had any free will

>>21256825
Anon, really, go to the district office, call the principal, go to local media, pta meetings, school board meeting. Make a huge spastic fit. Get that teacher fired and publicly shamed

>>21257016
What an absolutely abhorrent take.

Ages 17 to 20 were really miserable for me. I keep looking back at all tbe environments and circumstances I was in and how everything just seemed to go wrong. I keep thinking about years worth of choices I made and years of loneliness and alienation. I also have this funny feeling that those specific ages were supposed to be a very important and exciting time for me and how I can never relive it and do it all right. It's this massive burden of regret and resentment that just aches all the time. I hate it. I feel so helpless against it.

>>21257055
In front of a group/large crowd, you get crucified for your performance. Regardless of what your original intention was. This is unironically why mobs form and persuasive sociopaths come to power

>>21256989
That does sound like my parents a lot. They're very sensitive. Usually it's not high expectations, but no explicit expectations at all (or so they say...). They want to take care of everything always. And growing up I remember them disapproving of other parents that were at all strict. Which is not to say my parents are hippies, far from it they're religious and very very political (it is all they ever talk about)
With my older brother this has basically led to a parasitic relationship. He's 25 has basically zero job/life experience and has had them basically take care of him all his life. My mom would make him lunch even when he was 16 years old. I had to tell her to stop doing it. He's basically hikimori. My dad doesn't seem to know what to do about him. I just think it's ridiculous and they need to give him some tough love.
I'm somewhat more independent. have had several jobs and am in college. They've come to expect that I'm more independent, though I'm still living at home.
My dad very much does not like it when I try to pay my own tuition. He describes it as me trying to do everything by myself.
It's funny that you bring this up. I remember my dad bringing up an article talking about children breaking with their parents claiming they were abusive. He directed it at me, and I could tell held some worry that I was going to abandon him.
He's just a worrier and needs to control. He doesn't know any other way to express love except by taking care of everything himself. I had to push a lot to get the autonomy I currently have, though he seems to see it, in his anxious way, as me being distant

>>21254574
never

>>21256989
How do you know if your parents are actually narcissistic though, given the pathologizing of mental illness lately? Seems like everyone has bad parents now, any dissatisfaction you express just ends up as "suck it up" or "find a support group"

It's like an inversion of what "gaslighting" originally meant because now the term is meaningless

Is there any way to have sex without going out (clubbing or parties)? I don't have any friends so going out isn't an option, and I'm 19 so dating apps and asking women out "on a date" aren't things people my age do (or at least not in my country).

>>21257130
>go to /x/
>summon a succubus
>???
>profit
Nah I don't know. Get a hooker

>>21257130
There were 14 year old girls using Tinder (they lied about their age to use the app) in my school. If you think you're "too young" to find sex through a certain method then you're not gonna make it.

>>21257130
What country are you in?

>>21257140
The UK. I made a typo, I'm 18 not 19

>>21257142
I must add, I am in the UK but I just got here from France, so maybe things are different here

>>21257087
That's why a lot of kids have trouble establishing their own boundaries when they have parents who are overinvested in them. In extreme cases they can find it hard to know what they are feeling, but have zero difficulty knowing what their parents are feeling because it's drilled into them that their parents needs and boundaries are more important. Setting your own boundaries and expectation for yourself and making them important enough to you that you don't need to collapse them for someone else is much harder if your parents have that style of parenting.

>>21257118
>How do you know if your parents are actually narcissistic though, given the pathologizing of mental illness lately? Seems like everyone has bad parents now,
This is kind of what I'm wondering as the other anon.
Like how many parents actually do manage to strike this balance of respecting their kids boundaries/independence while still caring for them? Cause that's a pretty hard balance to strike.
Seems like a lot of the traits described as narcissistic could describe just about every family.
Like the charactersitics are just vague enough that just about anyone when given the rundown of traits could potentially think "wow that sounds just like my parents!"
Like holding your kids to very high expectations, not respecting your kids boundaries, etc.. Kinda just sounds like the avg family...

>>21254574
I’m trying to find some peace in life, something to believe in that is more than what is tangible here on earth but so far Christianity doesn’t feel right and most other religions seem very centric to the country of origin (Hinduism in India, Taoism in China, etc)
I just feel lost but I need to keep searching

>>21257118
Most kids with narcissistic parents find out their parents are weird growing up. Sometimes it's through exposure to the outside world, and sometimes it's because they sense their parent should not be doing certain things because it's uncomfortable for most humans to have someone have an empathy breakdown near them. Most of the kids have a long time of thinking several things are strange until it adds up to a pattern. It's pretty rare for kids of narcissistic parents to think their parent is a very bad parent, even when the parent is beating them. It's more common for the kid to think they did something wrong or they misunderstood something, because the default in the relationship is the parent is not to blame for anything.

>>21257149
are you ldn?

>>21257153
>because it's drilled into them that their parents needs and boundaries are more important
Kinda wondering how do you know that this is unhealthy?
Cause i do genuinely care for my parents and enjoy helping out.
Like I get pleasure cleaning up the kitchen and contributing and just generally helping out.
I also feel like with my parents it's the opposite. My brother is entirely clueless to how my parents feel. Like with my brother they're entirely supporting him, he does nothing, and has basically no independence.
With me I'm more independent, and I do care for them a lot and work hard to clean the kitchen but that's because I feel like I ought to give back to them.
I'm the same way at jobs. I'm a workaholic and like to take everything on myself. Kind of like my Dad does

>>21257188
Not every single piece of the relationship has to be disordered. Even the parents who really physically harm their children also have days where they take them out for ice cream or priase them for something, just like physically abusive adult romantic relationships don't start out with a punch to the face and don't go on without a lot of apologies.
Parents not allowing kids to set their own boundaries can result in a lot of different outcomes, and some kids get lucky, but most kids wind up feeling they cannot make choices for themselves or should not if they might disappoint their parents in any way by doing so. There are different roles which can develop in families which have this pattern where one child turns out "good" and one child turns out "bad" so the parent has proof for themselves that the bad child is not bad because of them, and the good child is good because of them. As a parenting style it tends to encourage sibling rivalry, because competing to fulfill the parent's expectations to the detriment of the sibling relationship doesn't matter to the parent. They like that their children both are desperate to fulfill their role for the parent, and they cannot understand that damaging the children's relationships which each other is something the kids are going to have to live with. This can also extend to damaging the children's chances at friendship where their choice to associate with someone who doesn't fit the image they have for the child can affect their social exposure, where the kids friends are curated for the parent's needs and not the children's social needs.
I'm purposefully trying to use examples that won't apply to your situation itt because, again, 4chan is not your family therapist. The style of parenting you're describing would tick a lot of these boxes and more I haven't pointed out if you went to therapy, but you don't want therapy. I would really suggest not assuming I know your family because I don't, and I get the feeling you're hoping I do despite this thread dealing with overpathologizing. I'm just telling you where a therapist would likely pathologize you if they don't assume you are personality disordered. And that's a big if because therapists are more likely to pathologize you first and then use a pathologized family background as support for how you adopted traits from your parents.

>>21257181
Yes

I really don't want to get with a girl that has had other men before me ;(

I'm evil.

>>21257378
Jealous, small dick anon with poor stroke game spotted

>>21257263
>4chan is not your family therapist
4chan is whatever I want it to be cunt. If faggot idiots like yourself will give me advice for free online im certainly not goimg to pay some irl fag. I didn't assume shit. I was writing about my family situation and you voluntarily chimed in & gave your opinion & kept doing so. So I kept giving more info. Don't give your opinion if u don't want people making assumptions faggot.
Anyways you're clearly a snake trying to plant ideas & spread division like most of you types.

>>21257388
No, retard. If you settle for a non-virgin you’re a pathetic cuck.

>>21257436
Everyone has sex except incels and violently ugly women

>>21257445
>everyone has sex except for people who don't
Very interesting take

>>21257452
And people who don’t are low quality. Simple as

>>21257462
or because they have religious convictions or are autistic/socially awkward. some people are celibate by choice, not all are ugly

>>21257188
I think this reveals a problem with terms like “narcissism.” Today, people are using them to describe how their relationship with someone else has seemed, from their own perspective. Saying “so-and-so is a narcissist” tends to mean “so-and-so did narcissism at me. So-and-so made me personally feel victimized.” And that can be true, but that doesn’t mean they are a narcissist. The word is intended to be used as a clinical term, focused on a person’s internal state and patterns of behavior. You can have a dynamic with someone in which you’re always the one serving them and they aren’t very attentive to your feelings, but that doesn’t make them a narcissist unless they’re treating you that way due to an internal inferiority complex (and tend to treat everyone that way). It’s not really a useful word for talking about one’s own abuse/neglect. Unless you’re actively speculating about their mental state, just say “I was abused/neglected/treated in X bad way.” Adding that the person is a narcissist does nothing except imply that they were too mentally ill to NOT be abusive/neglectful/shitty, which will either lead people to treat them as a monster who can never get better or dismiss them as blameless victims of their own brain chemicals.

I like your way of talking better, anon. You have a dynamic with your parents. So does your brother. You describe both of those dynamics and we can talk about how they’re good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, instead of whether someone is the bogeyman.

>>21257468
Just a cope for being low quality

I enjoy reading DeLillo more than McCarthy, and McCarthy's latest book reaffirms this.

>>21254574
I will not succumb. I will not be used as a tool. They will not break me and they cannot because I am FREE.

>>21257471
I also just feel like the description of letting kids set their own boundraries as the norm is outdated. Today helicopter parenting is the norm due to the fact that parents are having less kids which means they "overinvest" in the few they have.
I don't feel in any way I've been abused or neglected. My parents are incredibly supportive. Today's parenting is an abundance of attention (which can cause it's own problems, but i wouldnt label as narcissism) . My parents often worried about whether they were doing a good job & giving us enough attention.
They support all of us at a cost to themselves. And they've tried their best which is all anyone could give. I don't think any child should hold their parents to a higher standard. Be grateful for what they have given you. This therapistard seems focused on accentuating imagined grievance pointlessly. I wanted why.

>>21254574
College group projects and people who aren't able to do anything with their own two hands but preen can go to hell. I'm tired of having to deal with 24-year something plonkers all day and fixing their mistakes at the cost of my sleep schedule. It's like the laziest youth somehow find their way to me so that I can save their year, every time. It's my second time complaining and the school year just started.

>>21257515
*wander why

>>21254574
Shit i shouldn't have shared all this shit online. Now im getting paranoid. Shouldn't have started down this line, now im questioning and am uncertain.

>>21257754
What did you share anon?

Today starts the Nativity Fast, 40 days until the 24th of December. I'll stay away from both porn and 4chan, I'll wake up early, I'll procrastinate less, I'll be less lazy, I'll pray more, I'll pay attention to my thoughts,, I'll keep away from temptations, I'll write, I'll be better. Please God please help me I'm so weak and at the end of my strengths, I need your help, please help me change over these 40 days, make me good again, don't abandon me in this abyss it's so lonley and painful.

I encourage any other anon to join and God bless everyone.

>>21254574
Why are there so many incel threads today? Raid by /r9k/?

>>21257833
I was thinking the same thing

>>21257754
Dont worry about it, no one you know browses here and no one here cares enough to pursue you

>>21257798
Here’s a piece of my heart anon, I don’t have a good family life or any personal relationships in good conditions, I’ve been in a fist fight with my own father. But I have one good memory that’s always made me hold on.

When I was 9 or 10 my mom dropped me off at church and wanted me to stay for Sunday school after. I went down to the basement and realized Sunday school was canceled, it was empty, I was a sensitive kid so I started to cry. Maybe 5 minutes later the nun came down and saw me crying in the corner hiding my face, she tried to get me to stop crying and brought me to father J, my mom knew father J well so he could remember my moms number for me. The nun was frustrated at me for my crying and left. Alone with father J I have never since experienced such deep nonverbal communication, I quickly stopped crying in his presence. We walked around the church for a bit, the stragglers still waiting to talk to J, he didn’t say much. It’s hard to type what it was but if the Holy Spirit exists in mankind then father J was the embodiment I’ll never forget his unspoken kindness and understanding.

Maybe 3 or so years later he died at the age of 90.

>>21257833
Permanent creep. The weeds have been growing for years. Pretty worthless site on the whole

i don't know how to meet a partner. i moved to a new city last year. the few friends I've made aren't particularly close to me or move around a lot. I've gotten interest on dating apps, but most of the people on there are normie retards and i don't want to talk to them. i met one person i was interested in months ago, but it didn't go anywhere/they moved.

i think if i start going to shows/readings regularly i'd meet someone i like, but i don't want to go alone. what do i do? i don't even know how to make friends to rope into these events with me. i'm a post-college adult and wfh. does anyone have advice?

>>21257877
Yeah. /pol/cels running the show here. I don’t know why I keep coming back every few weeks. The board has been a corpse for a year

>>21257363
i'm goldsmiths
et vous?

thinking about death in your day to day life and thinking about it when actually seriously facing it are much different experiences

>>21254582
listen the most accessible stuff like Mozart's requiem, Beethoven's 9th and 3rd, Brahms 4th and 3rd, etc. Eventually you'll get a taste for it.

I just downloaded twitter after talking to a girl who uses it semi-frequently, and I hate it. Words words words. Politics politics politics politics. Hot takes, theories, intelligent people, prose. I can’t describe why using twitter is so nauseating to me. Maybe I’m just dumb, but the amount of seemingly ‘intelligent’ discourse and random philosophers and political commentators is dizzying and sickening. All these words and rhetoric and all this random shit. I cant describe it, but it isn’t like here. It’s poison, in some way.

I remember when I was in middle school my grade had a fantasy football tournament to try to get kids interested in math. This was in 90% white suburban USA before the mass pozzing, so most kids and their parents were already interested in some form of sportsball or another. I played soccer, baseball, basketball, and tennis myself throughout my school years, but mostly in the peewee leagues or just for athletic credit. Since I wasn't interested in football, my parents just filled out my team's roster with their favorite players, mostly from the Dallas Cowboys. I imagine most other kids and their parents filled out their roster in a similar manner. In this majority white suburban school district you would expect the most typical suburban American football fan family to win. That's not at all what happened. Some Chinese midget that just immigrated to our town a few years ago was the winner. They were also good at math. I don't know why this story came to my mind, I guess it's just funny to think that an event planned by the school to get white suburban kids into math was beaten by some chink who had math drilled into their heads since they were even more of a midge. The prize for winning was something sportsball-related, I don't recall exactly what it was but the little chinese kid was not thrilled to win the award. Literally anyone else in the school would've loved whatever football thingy was given out except for them. It's such a bizarre, just completely expected turn of events. Sixth grade was also the year before my mom started getting really abusive towards me, hitting me and threatening to kick me out of the house over minor things, and before my dad wasn't completely distant with me.

>>21257754
If they wanted to kill you, they would have done it already. If they wanted to track you down, they could just knock at your door and detain you

I have so many failures and regrets.

I hate being mixed race. I wish I was entirely white.

>>21254582
you dont have to "get" it just listen to what you enjoy. Mozart's requiem mass is really good, the dies irae and lacrimosa specifically are very enjoyable. I personally am obsessed with chopins ballade no 1 so I recommend that. Music is not about "getting" it; just listen to what you like. If you dont "get" it then that probably just means that it isnt for your tastes; similar to how food is.

>>21258202
pathetic. imagine letting online internet meme ideologies impact your self worth. no one respects a traitor, not even your enemies

Last night I had a dream where I got a job so I could spend a bunch of money on vidya. I don't think vidya is worth the wagie slog, especially since I'm taking the most amount of classes my college allows me to next semester.

>>21258217
>imagine letting online internet meme ideologies impact your self worth
This isn't just online. Race has a very real effect on how people perceive you in the real world. If I didn't have Asiatic genes I would be taller and objectively more handsome.
>no one respects a traitor
You're exactly right. I don't respect my dad for being a race traitor.

>>21254574
I was talking to some classmates that I am sorta friendly with and they started talking about their first kisses. One of them simply could not fathom that I had never kissed anyone; when I said I had never kissed a girl they then asked if I had kissed a guy as they could not fathom that I had never kissed anyone ever. They seemed so shallow, that question and questions of that sort was all that they could ask. In fact they said how they didnt know me so in order to get to know me they asked about my nonexistent relationships. And yet they did not possess the attention span to listen to my response because they would just ask someone else another question before I responded to the question they just asked me. That subject was all that they thought of, it didnt seem like they had ever really had any deeper thoughts than that. What I have been wondering about though is how they would ask me who I was attracted to and I did not have an answer as I had never been attracted to anybody really. attraction is not something that I consider at all, when I consider a girl it is not about attraction it is simply about how likely it is. How I feel about her is not something that I think about, in fact one of them has a pretty terrible personality and is not attractive at all; and yet I consider her simply because of how close in proximity I am, how well our schedules line up. I am not sure what I hope to gain out of this but the thread asked to write what was on my mind and so I did.
>tldr I am yet another lonely virgin on this website

BROS I TALKED TO THAT GIRL AFTER CLASS. IT WENT WELL. BROS THIS IS GREAT, I HAVENT SPOKEN TO A WOMAN IN 5 YEARS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>21258229
Its all in your head. I know a few happas and theyre all cool people. You're literally the eurasian master race. I know this gorgeous happa girl i plan on breeding with one day, but if that doesnt work I have some nice full chinese girls I'll happily make happas with.

I want Krystal Ball to throw me to the floor and pin me down

>>21258176
Twitter is literally designed to make you insane. Stay off it for your own good.

>>21258398
Your children will turn out like pic rel and I. Is this "eurasian master race" worth your kids suffering from an inability to fit in with any racial groups along with the inevitable realization that they only exist because daddy had yellow fever? Some hapas being "cool people" doesn't make up for the fact that we are all neurotic and your sons will forever wish they were pure white because white men are simply more desirable.

>>21254574
I really like that picture, thanks for posting it.

/lit/ is really bad right now. Think I’m out

>>21258411
Yeah nah man you're just a beta and it's not because you're a happa

Natives are based

>>21258494
>15% Native American

>>21258494
This guy probably 1/64th Cherokee at most, like most other people who claim to be "native American".

>>21258494
Inspiring. I hope to do something with myself, as I've been struggling to accomplish anything, especially creative endeavors.

>>21254574
Posted in a different thread but it may be more accurate here. I want to write a book. I had an idea to write an epic sci-fi satire of erotic novels that spans from the Sengoku period to a bizarre, transhumanist future. I haven't ever done any creative writing, so I just drafted up a sample of prose that I'd like someone to critique.

Something drips from the metallic superhighway into the darkness below the grates, where all things flow to the sea, where the fiends seeking refuge whisper to each other in disbelief and awe. The sun sets on pools of blood, dotted with small islands of flesh and offal, and a red haze chokes out the neon advertisements blinking furiously on chaotic megastructures. The streets of London are a bloodbath. A putrid odor lingers inside the bloody mist, binding the particles by intangible strings. There are faces, and parts of faces, looking up from the ground, mostly obscured by a tar which is more of drug metabolites than blood. Their eyes are dead, already glassy and reminiscent of fish at a ghetto market, something which ought to have been sold yesterday, but there is still a light flickering in them, a reflection of the blinking, probing, intrusive disorder of the city. The acrid stench of hemoglobin oxidizing, household cleaning chemicals, and faint undertones of red Kool-Aid fill AK's nostrils.

"What the fuck is this?" He nudged what he believes is a spleen, though he isn't sure. It looks like a spleen, although covered in an even less determinate liquid. The thing is spongy and small like a spleen, but it could be a kidney. The Chrome Dome can't identify it without him taking a sample. He thought to himself, but decided satisfying his morbid curiosity isn't worth putting that shit in his mouth.

"Hey man, let's get the fuck out of here. We got work to do"

"Sure."

AK, Jackson, and MC trudged through the shit and debris. Mr. Creme's headquarters is perched atop the Steel Cadbury Egg, jutting out like a minaret, menacingly looming in the distance. Hideous architecture, housing the most vile and occult secrets. Mr. Creme, that ancient alchemist, savant of the darkest darkness, now CEO of the largest chocolate and pharmaceutical corporation in the Nu-World, is watching and waiting.

"I can't wait to finally kill that fuck."

>>21258411
bro you’re honestly beta as fuck

>>21258401
It’s just demonic. I can’t even describe how. The political discourse can be similar to here and there’s some genuinely intelligent people but it makes me question my beliefs way more fast than other platforms, it’s really weird. It is literally ground zero of psyops

>>21258503
>>21258512
Seethe

I've had severe depersonalization and derealization for around 7 years. Is there a cure for this besides buying a rope and a chair?

>>21258516
Your descriotion of the setting wasnt really coherent. I couldn't form any real image.

I feel like I have nothing and no one to work hard for.

>>21258650
You can work hard for me :3

I keep stalking instagram profiles of cute girls in my area. I feel like a creep every time but can't stop doing it since I feel so lonely and doing so allows me to fantasize about having a gf.

The more time I spend alone, the more I become disconnected from reality.

What's your future plans anon?

It’s been a whole year since I texted you that night— pathetic that I actually remember that. I’d spent days agonizing over what to say. Of course I didn’t actually just want to be friends, although I’d convinced myself that I’d be willing to settle for that. But it never would’ve worked, anyway. How could I have sat there with you, making small talk, worrying all the while that you could somehow read my mind, trying to suppress thoughts about all of the times that I’d fantasized about you? A recipe for disaster.

I pretty much expected that you wouldn’t respond. I don’t know why I did it, anyway. Should’ve known better. Being ignored is far less painful than being told to fuck off. And really I did this to myself. The wound is self-inflicted and I keep compulsively gouging it deeper and deeper.

Do I convince myself that these things I come across have significance because I don’t want to give up, and because I desperately want an excuse to think about you that seems real? The idea that you would actually say the things that I long to hear the most, the idea that you’ve thought about the same things that I have… but I don’t know what to believe. I question everything.

Maybe you just did it to mock me. But, more than anything, I wish you really meant it.

There's a stack of unread mail on my night stand. Next to it are a potted plant, a bowl of change, and a small plaster statue I made. There's a heap of various paint tubes, solvents, unwashed brushes and filthy rags. My lounge chair has a stack of books by Freud, Jung, and Philip K. Dick. My wardrobe is filled with two bags of dirty laundry. My closet is filled with unfinished paintings. My phone is filled with unread messages. Under my bed there's even more mail, even more unfinished paintings, even more unread books, and an unopened package I received from my father on my birthday.

>>21254574
>Write What’s On Your Minds

Stay stone cold brothers, and I mean holy FUCK

Someone gave me an award for the best deja vu joke.

You wanna know what it was? Well I don’t know, I haven’t told it yet

I have a science degree and I can't find a job. I'm 23. I feel like a sick dog and I don't want to get up in the morning. If I were to get a job in my field, I would despise it. My grandfather was a woodcutter and he had 8 kids and a homestead.

>>21258637
i find it helps to go out and do things, anything, as often as you can. go browse thriftshops or bookstores, stop in a pub to have a pint, find somewhere to go and read and walk around, or hell, just go for a walk around the neighborhood if thats all you can do, just do anything to get you out into the world and ground you and remind you that you are alive. after that you will have to begin increasing your social interactions with other people if possible.


i would suggest is EXERCISE in general. i cant lift much due to injury but if you can, it will be a godsend. when you lift enough that you start seeing results ior at least feeling better. and you really get into it, it gives you a certain level of what i can only describe as "physical confidence" which goes a long way in helping you focus on reality and stay grounded

chances are, if you're someone who smokes weed, you will almost certainly have to stop that, though I find a hoot can be ok on an occasion when you are countering the effects with some alcohol to relax you and you arent putting yourself under the pressure of being around other people. if you dont smoke weed then definitely dont start though

something that really snapped me back was doing the above, going walking around my neighborhood, specifically after getting a little bit drunk. this might be unique to me because of my past experiences and memories, but the combination of walking around and being out in the world, being physically active. combined with the effects of some alcohol, produced in me a certain sense of clarity and physical grounding with an almost nostalgic character that reminded me of my younger days when I wasn't such a schitzo. this event, which started as me simply walking to the store drunk to get a pack of smokes, is something that really kickstarted my attempts at getting better which has certainly seen at least some success
good luck my friend. hope this helps. if it makes you feel better, you arent alone.

>Had $14.16 in my bank account, really want a copy of a book I found out on here called The Discovery and Conquest of Mexico which is a first hand account of one of Cortez' conquistadors
>it's $33+ FUCK
>find out there's an older translation from Penguin called The Conquest of New Spain
>it's $13.96 with FREE shipping & for some reason no tax (???) for a used copy
>fuck YES
Also I'm listening to Dying Fetus rn and currently feeling very pleased with myself.

>>21258728
I have absolutely zero idea. It frightens me.

>>21258728
my future plans are to start taking babysteps towards being a functional adult at 28 years old by having future plans. if im really lucky i wont end up a mentally ill homeless. thats about all i can ask for at this point. starting with small easy to accomplish short term goals at the moment

I spent around 2 hours debating ~15 or so retards.
I countered all their arguments, they countered few of mine, none of them key to my argument. I provided sources, they accused me of arguing "dishonestly." They accused me of being a fed on a psyop, when they were the group of people that came out of nowhere all at once to aggressively push a narrative.
I effectively countered and disproved a gaggle of retards for multiple hours, but in the end none of them changed their minds, and when I left the thread they instead started infighting and going at each other's throats.
I felt good at first since I was so effectively defending my points, but honestly what's the point of effectively defending your points if it's in the face of such overwhelming wilful ignorance, projection, and deception? If those you're arguing refuse to acknowledge reality whatsoever, then any feeling of accomplishment starts to fade and a nihilistic feeling of futilely swimming against a retard current takes it's place.

>>21259108
>he still believes in truth
>he still believes in the law of non-contradiction
>he still believes in good and evil
>he still believes in ignorance and knowledge

Bad luck is contagious, I fully believe this.

>>21259108
Typically an argument is not to change the mind of the person you're arguing with, but the spectators. In this case, however, you did not have even close to a numerical advantage so they likely used the power of peer pressure to convince spectators and lurkers.

How do I get into reading? I suppose I was put off literature due to the classes in my school of the same name, since the education system in my country is fucked. I can read a few pages of a book, but then I just drift off it and forget about it. What do I do, /lit/?

>>21259220
Read few pages at the time and increase it little by little. Books with short chapters also help.

>>21259220
Find something you're interested in. Take breaks and think about what you read. If you have a severe case of zoomer-brain you may have to start with manga and then move to light novels based on the kind of manga you'd like.
Just don't force yourself to read because it's Le Intellectual Pursuit

I'm off my game. After a decent couple of months I have crashed and feel like shit. But it's ok to feel like shit for a bit. Just don't let it go on too long. I think my body needs to rest and I should listen to my body. I don't want to become stagnant though. Even when I am 'relaxing' my mind is anxious. Stupid.

DUDE, 'nigger' is a bad word.
I agree. Let's change that. We'll defang it and take control, using it with positive connotation. First between us, then soon between others, my nigger, let us begin right here and now.
Mooooo, the word... the word, so bad! Woe!
Are you aware that you exist? Don't speak to me ever again.

>>21257515
>Kids are turning out normal today
Yes that's why trannies are getting so infrequent kekek

>>21258728
In the immediate short term, indulge my interest in reading until I get sick of it. I learned what a 'millstone sin' was and I definitely feel subjected to a lot of those. I'm not capable of providing myself with what I need. Maybe if I wait long enough I'll be faced with a different set of circumstances, so trying to solve problems that could go away on their own just seems like a waste of time.

>>21257754
"That's how they get you" is how they get you. There's maybe less than 10,000 real people on the internet and half of them are in the US military.

Met an amazing woman, way the fuck above whatever the fuck league I am in, so it is time to distance myself and ignore her.

>>21259843
but why?

>>21259850
I only mate above my social class if it is through VIOLENCE or RAYP, for consent-based mating in this case would be DYSGENIC.

I won't be the one caging such birds, let 'em fly.

>>21259108
Most arguments online are made by people looking to confirm their own beliefs under the pretext of dialogue. It's easy to get caught up in those threads and feel like you're accomplishing something; try to focus on people who are open to hearing your POV next time.

>>21259843
did the same recently. why the fuck i am like this?

>>21254574
My twin nieces are 4 in April

For Christmas i got one of them Alice in Wonderland and the other one the Madeline collection (pic related)

This they will enjoy these or it's age appropriate?

>>21260074
Forgot pic. These are the ones I got them

>>21260079
Madeline is perfect, Alice in Wonderland is a bit advanced for a 4yo. I’d suggest exchanging that for something else.

>>21260079
I'm glad you bought something that will do good for their brains. I hope they'll like it.

>>21260074
Why not get something like Dr.Seuss?

>>21260091
What would you recommend? I might get them it for their bday

>>21260103
I think they have them already

>>21260093
Hope so. I know my sister and her husband read to their kids. I got their older 6 year old brother the Narnia set

I want to get my brother's kids some books but not sure (I made a thread about if Matilda was a good choice)

I tried to make carbonara.
Everything went wrong.
Such is non-italian life.

And if her light never falls on me
I'm content just to feel the lack

>>21259219
Man, it just sucks that strength in numbers still applies in debate. You'd think it wouldn't extend past the physical/brawn aspect.

>>21259963
Thank you for the advice, I genuinely appreciate it.

>>21256777
Nice get and post.

>>21260008
This was some kind of an actual, real, aristocrat that I spent time with, I only found about it later this week after few months, she really needs to be dancing ballet on big stages instead, on the long run I have nothing to offer her to let her truly shine like she needs to.

Now, the ugly part, preconfiguring myself pre-emptively emotionally dead.

I'm so insanely bored. It's been years since I had real work to do.

>>21260332
I'm so enormously unhappy that I stumbled into this soft and easy life. I was supposed to adventure, suffer, and struggle while I was young.

I dont want to finish this book im reading because im going to be sad when its OVER, but i want to read it.

>>21260338
>>21260332
The largest war since World War II is happening right now, both sides recruit foreigners actively, and Putin has most definitely become the next historical person after Hitler.

History is moving and you can just ship to fight for either side for $

>>21260353
>largest war since World War II
The Korean War and Iran-Iraq War were significantly larger.
Largest war in EUROPE since World War II? Sure.

>>21260499
I'd say Ukraine - Russia are larger since its two actual real states instead of gooks in mountains looking at yanks getting stuck with armor, or gooks in jungles looking at yanks getting stuck with arrmor,,

>>21254574
You may be cute but I will never betray my best friend. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to throw the world over you? Fuck you

>>21260074
Madeline is great. Alice is for maybe double their age. Maybe go for one of the Winnie the Pooh compendiums?

Books about overcoming regrets with lifelong ramifications?

>>21260583
I dont think that any book is capable of doing that kind of job.

>>21260583
This is just the count of monte cristo

Why are japs so obsessed with food? Their tv and literature always has so much focus on food.
It's because they ate nothing but rice for centuries? Books about this?

>>21260658
Only food from the "popular Asian food countries" is literally Vietnamese or Chink stuff anyway.

Jap food is the most tasteless shit unless you cover that shit in sauces and alcohol, fish literally has no natural taste

>>21260680
Only good food*

I think I lost my sense of humor.
Nothing makes me laugh anymore, comedies, stand-up, memes, jokes, etc.
Has this happened to anyone else? I'm only 24.

wonder what xi is up to

everything is pointless

I do wonder what it feels like to be desired

>>21260775
Girls used to desire me when I was on school.

>>21260775
Go out and be someone’s reason to smile.

> knowing what you should've done after it's too late

I started falling in love with someone I barely know, realised it, stopped myself and then after a few months got right back at it. I know it’s just daydreaming, but it feels good to imagine what could be. Since I’m being honest, there’s a big part of me that believes we have a chance together, even if that’s baseless hope. Then again, isn’t hope at its core simply a question of belief?

>>21260341
Which book?

>>21260985
Why not try to get to know her better, if you want her so badly?

>>21258728
a Russian missile just killed 2 in NATO member Poland

>>21260775
doesn't feel like anything

>>21261197
are you a sociopath or sthn? its the best feeling in the world

>>21261219
When it happens to you as much as it has to me it quickly becomes hollow. If you're not used to being validated by other people it must feel really nice but what's really important is being able to validate yourself. The only real advantage I got from it is getting a better choice of wife or having to work less hard to get a better choice.

I want to writefaggot for some anons but I dont know which general would be the best. Anyone have any idea where the most fanfiction is being produced?

>>21261219
i'm not a sociopath it's just not a feeling at all

gay rights

>>21261190
again?

>>21261190
Good, I hope all the eastern european swines kill each other

Are there any Catholics in here?
I need help

At various points in life I've been visited by an intense feeling of purpose that necessitates action of some kind towards doing or building something. Presently I realise that these were just manic episodes and now I have nothing. After a few decades of striving and seeking I have no more understanding of my purpose than I did as a child and no more understanding of my place in the world. I've allowed myself to reside permanently in patient status. Managing life according to the whims of certain symptoms.

>>21261271
>where the most fanfiction is being produced?
in the very bowels of hell

>>21260985
When did you start falling in love with her?

im so desperate holy shit

Just had a lengthy conversation with my direction-brain cousin. He's some fucking politics obsessed terminally online ideologue bottom feeder like you people, despite shitting on 4channel constantly. Internet culture truly is brainrot

>>21254574
Im wasting my time but its pointless to do anything.

>>21255815
I already learned how to live when I was a baby. By being dependent on others.

I feel like its my time to go
I felt my spirit almost wanting to leave my body, i felt that im to sensitive for this world. At one moment i felt i saw the stars of the universe around me, as if i was in space
I just wanna go in my sleep, that's all I wish for. Doesnt matter when. If there is no use for me here anymore, so be it

>>21261465
whats up

>>21260775
Me too, my brother

I have a ton of stuff to do and here I am shitposting

>>21261757
I wouldn't worry about it.

nipple sex

I'll be 30 and still not have found a vocation. I'm as lost as ever.

I'm so unhappy with how things have turned out. I want a do-over.

>>21261197

But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

>>21261848
unfathomably based

>>21261848
This is the meek's favourite line from that bullshitter rag.
Figures a stupid frog poster would blurt it out here.
The meek need to grow up or they're not getting shit.

>>21261866
cope and seethe toilet cleaner
I'm not getting drafted for your shithole of a country

KIMI NO KOTOBA
MUNE NI RIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABU

>>21261874
I'm not seething, I'm pointing out that you people blurt this lie out to cope because you're seething.
You are not getting shit
Do avoid drafts, yes.

>>21261848
but til that time, it's on

i have accepted that i will never be smart or intellectual and have stopped bothering with "difficult" books. it's nothing but genre trash from now on.

Everything is created.
Therefore God exits.
It’s that simple.

>>21260506
China and the United States were at war in Korea... along with a dozen other UN member states such as the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Turkey, the Philippines, Ethiopia, Greece, France, Columbia, etc., and with direct Soviet Air Force involvement and frequent dogfights between American and Soviet pilots.

Ukraine doesn't even begin to compare to the scope and scale of Korea, both with the nations directly involved and the size of them; direct fighting between the United States and China+the USSR cannot and should not be understated.

>>21254574
I feel like I am addicted to music.

I can make my morning coffee which listening to music as I wake up then suddenly lose my whole morning just listening to music. I would just be playing certain songs and fantasize/daydream scenarios. Then I will have similar incidents like this throughout the day when I end up just listening to music for and hour or two and nothing else. Not even listening to it as background music. Just creating my fantasies and thoughts or remembering things that I associate with the music

It's pretty bad I feel. Should I cut out music from my life and jsut limit it to the raido when driving ? Or cut out certain types of music like modern music or music with lyrics?

Think the fact im using wireless headphones is creating this effect on me where not having a wire is keeping me distracted due to how freely I can move and get lost where there is no limitations of the physical wire to keep me it the "real world"

>>21262147
>Kojimaplier

>>21254574
Got a phone interview tomorrow

Should I take it seriously or just use the interview as a chance to pretend I'm talking to a qt (barely talked to anyone outside my family for months lmao)

I mean I wouldn't mind a job again and it's WFH, but on the other hand it's $23/hr and I get $683/fn in gibs. $683/$23 is roughly 29-30 hours worth of work for the same pay I get for doing nothing. So full time is 76 hours per fortnight. So the "extra" money I get for working FT would be $1065 ($1748/fortnight, before getting taxed btw), but when you divide that by 76hrs it's like working for $14/hr. Even less once it's taxed.

I originally got fired over no vax and now I cbf working, like why should I if people had absolutely no issues with me losing my job over it at the start of the year. In fact most gleefully rejoiced in the unvaxxed losing their jobs. But really, what was their end game plan? Seeing that I was never the type how would've ended up dead or in hospital over it

And it's been great and made me rediscover /lit/ after not having touched a book in nearly a decade

>>21256460
This. I had a roommate previously who, after a particularly bad day for me, tried to sympathize with me by saying "yeah, it was just my depression I guess' in response to a comment on how he used to spend his evenings with his girlfriend alone doing homework. Most normalfags could never even have an inkling of what actual mental illness is like.

The last 3 years have gone terribly for me.

>>21256460
It's used to control people. Behaviorism is the way out of this, most people gain negative habits and depressive mood from being negatively reinforced so many times (either by bad family or friends, or such as the way a person is raised)

Free will, for the most part, doesn't actually exist and you could argue people have less free will now because we label them with "mental illness" rather than notice their emotions and behaviors as transient, momentary states of being

>>21262178
... yeah i think a lot of people are in that boat to be honest mate

Yesterday I bought 8 small books, today got delivered another 2 books I bought 2 weeks ago, and there's another one coming soon.
And yet I just wanna go back to Monster Hunter now that the new patch is coming.

>>21262193
Why do you say so?

>>21262275
there was an international pandemic & some knock-on effects

>>21261413
maybe look at nato article 5 & some member states

>>21260775
I don't, though there are quite a few I've desired so much I can still taste it now. It's one thing to be cute, quite another to be hot.

I LOVE GOING TO BED BY 8 PM
I LOVE SLEEPING AT LEAST 8 HOURS A NIGHT

feeling existentially unstable. might do some margin trading to check if I'm still alive

Who is this dude?

Yesterday was the day before today and today is the day before tomorrow and tomorrow is the yesterday after the day after tomorrow and the day after tomorrow is the day after the day after tomorrow and after today is tomorrow and the yesterday of the day after tomorrow

>>21262714
We're fucked

Dude we're so fucked

>>21261257
I can validate myself easily, but I've never been validated via actual desire, let alone desire by someone I liked (that must be intense).

Okay. Here's some guy's new thread. He doesn't know how to do it

>>21262779
>>21262779
>>21262779

>>21262176
>Most normalfags could never even have an inkling of what actual mental illness is like.
I disagree. It's just a feeling and one most people experience sometimes. The "mental illness" is just that same feeling of despair accentuated. They might not be able to relate to the extent of a depressed person's despair or emptiness, but everyone has bad periods.
When my family got a new cat, our older cat became depressed and wouldnt come inside or eat. Im willing to bet everyone over the course of life experiences depression, though usually hopefully not chronically.
The people that insist no one else can possibly relate are taking pleasure out of their depressed state, at imagining they are more unique or fundamentally different than everyone else.

>>21262174
How does one get these magical gibs i hear so much about?

I think I’m falling in love with my friend

>>21254574
Don't send your kids to public school guys.

My brother's kids are in public school and my sisters kid is in Catholic school.

We went to Catholic school and I always thought it wouldn't have mattered much, especially in primary school but fuck. Shit is night and day

>>21263553
there was a bit of an idea when i was in school that the people who went to the RC school were deformed weirdos