/lit/ - Literature

Im still sick.

>>21007838
God

ESE CUERPITO NO ES MIO PERO YO LE ONIONS FIEL

>>21007861
Psychotic’s path. Get off it

I am cryptoMuslim Squanto but I was raised to read ypipo books

Whoa Anglo!
You really expect me to read KJV Bible, The Complete Works of Shakespeare,
AND Paradise Lost?

Fuck this I'm reading German Idealists and Easterners

Does high art still exist? Or is any distinction between high and low forms of culture simply irrelevant nowadays?

I have recently begun to worry about how much reality I have experienced and if that measurement is enough to adequately write. Meaning that before I write seriously I need to consider taking steps to experience life. Not that I haven’t done so in my youth, but it has been quite some time since I went camping or walked in nature, did something hard outside on my own, or got stuck and had to rely on myself to solve a problem under high stakes.

I can read all I want, imagine all I want, but there wouldn’t be anything concrete grounding my creativity.

>>21007923
You're experiencing reality right now

>>21007838
So was Gurdjieff a Sufi?

>>21007923
There are only 3 prerequisites to fiction writing:
1. Having read
2. Having had sex
3. Imagination
You won’t learn and discover anything new by walking around or talking to NPCs. Sit down and write, everything you need is already scattered throughout your mind.

youtube.com/watch?v=TMvnwWC53f0

>>21007942
No, an Armenian

youtube.com/watch?v=xhg_FiFTXYM&list=PLTcpmeN-uTIVgMYRE8tK6hzVDivX1IQV9&index=1
youtube.com/watch?v=QnBU6lKZ4_g&list=PLTcpmeN-uTIXJnS4V5CD4MGQxBAk8zVWe&index=1

I love the greeks now

Funny and knowledgeable girl

Can you still learn a new skill past 25? Like, say a musical instrument. Not to be a pro or anything but to have a hobby.

>>21007999
>WHAT's UP GUYS!
>window closed
god youtube is such shit. if you want to learn about homer, watch a college class or read a fucking book.

This wizard brings back your happiness and destroys all the bad thoughts. Enjoy!

>>21008108
dude has sinister vibes tho

>>21007838
I think my brother married a woman with BPD or Bipolar and I dont know what to do.

I can see she is financially draining the family and spending extravagantly despite my brother being the only earner and her not putting in any effort to lighten the load and burden despite being a stay at home wife/mother. I can see my brother drowning and ever since covid it feels like he has lost complete control and things just went complete out of disorder. Its like he just gives in now because he has given up just to get some peace.

We always kind of knew she wasnt the smartest person around but we all thought it was just due to her being young at the time (shes my age), but they have kids now and its starting to become really apparent with the kids as they are getting older. Its like she never got that sense of urgency of having to get herself right and its like she lives in some fantasy world where she just has this 'aesthetic' of how being married and kids are supposed to be like without putting real effort into it.

Ive helped them over the years with money, I probably have given them nearly $50k, $4k of that being recently because she needed some surgery from damage left after her latest pregnancy. Ive never asked for the money back, and I never expected it back but since the surgery I have seem them spend shit on things like
-new branded clothes for the kids
-toys
-nintendo switch for one of their kids which is just forgotten about with the week since they can barely read
-couple of designer bags (one was a gift for my mother but Im sure she would have gotten one for herself too)

>>21008220
Just constant frivolous spending on stuff like that. Its absolutely insane. Then last week the kids when they came over were excited about 'getting a dog next week'. Apparently that week they decided to get a dog and just picked it up this week and when they came over today, they didnt even mention anything about it like theyre already over it. Just like I warned my brother when they first mentioned it and something he suppsoedly tried to explain to them and the kids, that its more than just buying a dog and there is a whole bunch of other things involved. NOW again the kids mentioned about overseas travel, (theyve already gotten their passports done this week so they must be going through with it). They are organising and overseas trip despite having just newly gotten a dog. How is this supposed to make me feel when they havent even paid back the $4k they borrowed which they supposedly so desperately needed. If they can somehow scrounge the money to pull this shit, why tf didnt they have enough money for the surgery? Its really beginning to annoy me.

Over the years despite having borrowed money off me, they have redone the floors in their home, bought a new SUV, and from what I heard today putting a wall up or fence in the back yard and putting fake grass. I dont think she even cooks proper food for the kids, just rice, pasta and snack type foods as the two younger kids dont seem to want to eat anything besides plain rice/pasta so they must not be used to it and their oven supposedly has been damaged for some time

I dont get it, its like every little thing she does, she needs to makes some sort of big purchase with it to get her ready for it. Recently she even started some course to become some teachers aid, and she just had to buy a new laptop to do it. Then they needed microsoft office, I showed them the Libre office alternative yet they got the Office 365 sub. Yet with the way theyve acting, im sure she has quit it already.

>>21008223
The saddest part is the kids, as they get older, I can see them being so under developed compared to my sisters kids who are roughly the same age. Its like my brothers wife puts not effort in with them that, besides the oldest one, the middle and youngest child are becoming very worrying and unlikable people. The daughter (middle) is especially starting to worry me and making me wonder if this is all behaviour she is learning from her mother. Its like she wants something, then within a second she forgets about it or already has moved onto the new want, all so quickly. I really dont understand it, and the youngest who is nearly 3 isnt even toilet trained, they have trouble controlling his temper and tantrums yet for some reason they wanted to add a dog into the mix to look after?

Like WTF? Why wouldnt you invest time in your kids and looks after them if you are that bored you wanted a dog. I dont even know what to say to my brother about it, I warned him saying dude, you havent even got the youngest toilet trained and cant handle his behaviour, why are you getting a dog. And I think out of stress he just gives in to get a little bit of peace. I even warned him, you cant just put a dog (its a staffie) in front of a phone/ipad. FFS she cant even go pick up the kids from school and the school is right in front of them

I dont understand how they dont have their priorities straight in all this and how they think buying frivolous shit somehow solves whatever issues they must be having. There was a period where my brother was staying with me and just going home for the weekends but I honeslty dont feel like his kids are safe with his wife.

What do you think? Is this a sign of BPD/Bipolar? I discovered in their house a box of serequel I think it was called. How serious can this get and what is my bro really dealing it behind closed doors? Should I jsut not give a af? Im just worried about the kids and my brothers health now, he seems like he is drowning

>>21007992
I know he was Armenian but was he a sufi?

>>21008232
Btw I'm the guy from the previous thread whose cousins and brother dabbled with divination and chicken sacrifice shit.

My brother has given so much up for this woman yet it's like it's not even being appreciated or considered at all, to some extent I feel like he is giving up his kids wellbeing (and safety) for her jsut to get this frivolous dog which is just time/effort/money taken away from their kids who already seem half neglected

>>21008244
It's so frustrating, he isn't on speaking terms with our sister over her. Then whats next? He is going to give me up if I criticise her or start pointing things out?
Our parents keep giving them money here and there and and buying random supplies for them and my parents aren't rich too yet it makes me wonder wtf its all used on.

I’m at lunch with my ex-girlfriend and I’m smiling and laughing while she tells me about how good her new guy fucks her. Should I pour some soup on her lap, growl ferociously, and leave? Help me bros

My father was to much dominant with me and my family and besides I have a fucking scar in my mouth that makes my smile kinda weird. So I grow up being a little insecure only at the stare from others(eyes). I'm normal at all but sometimes I can't kept the stare or smile without being insecure. It is involuntary and I hate fight with this stupid problem everyday. That's on my mind. Fuck you

>>21008286
Tell her that's cool, she is wrong not you.

What are the basic operations of studying? When I read something for the first time, I will write down a word and think about what it represents. After I finishing section, I elaborate on all of the words I have written. Then I correct it against the source material. Very elegant, very adaptable. But what about studying something I have already read? Do I type out these notes and make them formal? Do I simply repeat my process? Do I try to remember all the words I wrote in a discrete note, then correct it against the note, then repeat the process? How do I prioritize what notes to study? Its as if I have some learned autism, I'm too fixated to settle for anything that doesn't have a pleasing design. I need a heuristic, please provide one for me.

>>21008244
Can't help you with the BPD sister in law. That's above my pay grade. But please, tell us about the chicken magic. Did they cook the chickens afterward? What deity were they worshiping? Are they drug users?

>>21008309
Apparenlty 2 of my cousin's knew "fortune teller" so him, his sister (my other cousin) and my brother used to consult this individual who told them that apparently they were cursed.

Over what? I have no idea as they would've been around 23 or 24 at the time. Yet I'm guessing cursed because their love lives werent working out. iirc at the time my brother and guy cousin got out of break ups and my girl cousin was always on/off with her bf (who she is now married to). Anyways the only way to lift the curse was that they had to do some chicken sacrifice.

I wasn't at home when it happened but my sister was (she didn't get involved) and said our mother even participated in it. When I ask my mother about it she gets really defensive over it but from when I got out of her my girl cousin had to wear white for the ritual. Don't really know much after. But my cousin's mother a year or so later became very unwell, as in we thought she was going to die at some stages. My brother met this woman who seems to be troubling his life who he isn't on speaking terms with my sister over. My mother has constant psoriasis and other health issues erupt since. But yeah it was all too weird

>>21008347
Hm, they must have done it wrong. Chicken magic can easily backfire.

>>21007927
Nobody who’s reality is scrolling through endless virtual memes can write anything of value

>>21007952
You are right, to some degree. While all of that info is in my mind, walking through reality absolutely helps recall tangible senses and thoughts that I would argue are critical to writing

>>21008395
>Nobody who’s reality is scrolling through endless virtual memes can write anything of value

People compose memes. Some are better at this than others, so necessarily memes have value.

Wind blows them from the windowsill
Thoughts I will never find
Will my heart to be still
So I hear what's on my mind

>>21008093
A college professor literally rec'd her

>judging based on 2 seconds
>cant stand someone being excited

Life must be agonizing for you

>>21008487
>thinks people shout "WHAT'S UP GUYS!" at the beginning of every youtube video because they're excited and not because some guide to increasing engagement on youtube recommends that
must be nice to be that naive

>>21008430
Stop making memes fat ass

>>21008430
>People compose memes. Some are better at this than others, so necessarily memes have value.
Try not to hurt yourself there anon, your reply *almost* made sense

This is the most retarded thread imaginable. It asks if (You) to write what’s in/on your mind when that literally happens no matter where or how you write.

Fucking. Autistic.ly. Retarded. Thread. For. Retards.

Every time I masturbated I'd immediately clean my bathroom because I didn't like the lethargic feeling post-nut, and now I'm compelled to clean my bathroom literally every time I masturbate.

>>21007838
Continuing to hyper analyze my spending from the past 4 year. Spent all of last night autisticlly breaking everything down in an excel sheet.
Not counting investments, total expenses were 28k.
20k of which are all unavoidable expenses like tuition/school and rent.
I've apparently spent about 8k on luxuries.
1k on amazon,
1k on an ebike,
700 from fast food,
600 on cell bills,
500 in clothing,
240 on videogames,
200 on alcohol,
and 60 on books.
Also a 2k ambulance bill + ticket for drinking underage 4 years ago. This one was especially painful to look at cause at the time it wiped my savings in half.
Feel like I've been spending too much & really need to buckle down. The next 4 years I will subsist on rice and coffee and try to live closer to my ideal Vietnamese peasant lifestyle.

Sometimes I look at twitch livestreams, I see all those numbers, signs, texts, while the man in the facecam stares at the screen, moving fast. It feels like I'm an alien or time traveller, undercover while in a foreign world full of peculiar organisms doing weird stuff. But this is so pseudointellectual because I'm still a human too. How far can I detach when it comes to a mode of being? It's probably the same emotional potential as being a foreigner 50.000BC ago and that's it

Consider this:

Well I did it again. I got wasted drunk til 3 am, and woke up at 1 pm. Wasted another weekend

>>21008902
I must warn you, although it may appear so, there is no mystery here for you to dispell. Your observation is psuedointellectual, because you believe there could exist some meaning behind the veil. In reality, the other side consists of competing manipulators. As your fellow man, I give you permission to neglect these questions. Let us affirm nobler ambitions than the fixation on simple things.

>>21007838
----- Solaria ----
204
(horns aplenty atop Mt. Tabula Rasa)

What none can caricature
As Iagos of state fluttering Casio napkins

Circuits like an inconceivable sum through shining lands
Into sonorous looks articulate as the highest

Feeling, ecstasy prolific by day as night, the strange preserve of lovable natures
And the their lovers' intelligence, a finesse invisible

Except to the kind, whose dish is impressively sweet as if the stars
Had conscience, generosity beyond account

To gods of any other kind, the benevolent despotism of jokers
Too peachy in contour, impression,

To prohibit anything pleasing to a faun's afternoon
As faces fit for sunny gardens,

As music archives to die for, as those without generally do
Before their time in hermit regimes.

Dawn or dusk, the sun of mood is both symbol and substance of the West,
Will visible.

Really starting to think that I have a drinking problem

>>21009075
What makes you think so? Anything in particular that you think has triggered it?

>>21009075
I was a high functioning alcoholic for two years (partied heavily prior to that, but didn't become a problem until I started drinking alone). What ended it for me was getting covid. I started getting nasty headaches (literally the worst pain I've ever been in) and I was on opiates so I was deathly afraid of dying like a loser on opiate and alcohol. On top of that, I was just too tired to drink for weeks. I lost a lot of weight so I started weight lifting. Somehow, I tend to get drunk really easily now. Funny, because the last time I was fiending, I was doing well, having not had a drink in over a week. I ended up NEEDING more, so I walked to the liquor store only to find they were closed early, and I ended up sobering up by walking for like 2 miles and talking to my girlfriend on the phone pretending not to be drunk. It hit me that I have been hiding this problem -- and it was a problem. I wanted to take the closed liquor store as an omen. The next day an old coworker hit me up and we ended up at a coffee shop at 10pm. I asked if he wanted to go to a bar and he said he was trying to quit drinking. I had no idea he was an alcoholic, too. He just seemed miserable. I wondered if he could tell the same with me. I had just hit the gym earlier that day and I was feeling good, so to talk about drinking on one of my best days yet was an eye opener. It was like seeing myself from the outside.

The reason I'm going on like this is because now I'm really into coffee.

>>21009165
When did you get covid?

>>21009154
Pee too much

>>21007923
>muh realism
Art is more defined by its relation to other art than its relation to everyday life. Any objection to this fact will out you as a pleb.

>>21009176
Around May. I was a medium dose of opiate for two months after that, and started lifting weights in July. Not feeling like shit is a huge priority for me now, as drinking seems to wipe me out no more than before.

>>21009266
Any lifting tips? I’ve had a hard time figuring out a good routine and high-protein meals are so expensive

>>21009278
Not really any advice. I haven't gained a whole lot. I've just been hodgepodging shit my coworkers tell me, mostly just starting strength and eating enough. I don't mind the cost because I basically live like Travis Bickle with a bunch of cash and nothing to do with it.

>>21009278
diary isnt expensive
meat could be depending on where you live
peanuts are cheap
just eat a lot of cottage cheese

>>21009154
Always had a disposition to it because my family raised me to think that drinking is a hobby. Covid is when it really started manifesting. Everything was shut down so I would drink alone on weekends. It was fun at first but now it consuming. I feel compelled to drink alone and when I start drinking I dont stop until I pass out. The driving factor is social isolation. Its so hard to not drink when I have nothing to do. Its kind of self reinforcing because my hangovers usually prevent me from meeting people

>>21007838
----- Solaria ----
205
(Tranquillity Base)

Two dozen neighbors know my name
Amnesiac as I am for theirs, and are happy

To see me as I am while arranging florid cascades
That have the deathless look mini Versailles are meant to.

Sometimes I can't tell the difference
Between speedboat scenery and myself conjoined

To the mothership of a land yacht sweeping farmsteads so green
And orderly, I forget what it's like

To not delight in the pure hilarity of hawk moths in an eye exquisite as they are,
In the lusciousness of window images falling on carpet

Like geometry real as it can be.

>>21009266
The reason you got covid is because you use drugs and God doesn't like junkies

>>21009264
Art should only be judged on its own merits without externalities

I don’t understand why I can’t just let go and move on. I know that what I’m doing is only prolonging my emotional pain, but it’s like I can’t stop.

One of my friends is a gym bro and he's always trying to compare arms with me. I find myself making excuses not to so he doesnt see all the cutting scars. Get a feeling I'm gonna have to explain them one day all because he's super autistic about weight lifting

>>21009330
What are "its own merits"?

>>21007838
Have you ever thought about memories and knowledge? Where is it really? Is it in the neurons? Which part of the neuron? The dendrite? The axon? The nucleus? Is it the connections between the neurons? The electric chemical signals? Is it the chemicals? All the chemicals do is pass down the action of telling more neurons to fire up until they reach an end due to lack of potential energy. Does that mean information is stored in the neural networks? But how if the neurons themselves don't seem to hold anything? If the brain isn't 100% active at all times, how could memories be stored in an electrical or chemical form if the physical cell itself does not store the memory either? Just what is a brain once the person is dead? Reduced to useless tissue? Where do all of those petabytes of memories and thoughts go? How could something as simple as an electrical signal be enough to keep that flow of information constant until the end of a human's life? Why can we not retrieve information from the brain itself? Where does any of this really lie?

i should have been the president

>>21009373
I think that Mind is a hologram which is being read (by a similar hologram or itself). The physical brain is a projector. I don't know what that means because it's clear to me that this hologrammatic mind reaches into an extra dimension of which we know nothing else but Mind.

Like, where the fuck IS a dream? I believe it's likely that dreams are the sideroads on this extra dimension being populated by the images that Mind is feeding it. That fact that dreams are intelligible and often startlingly coherent shows that the this extra dimension is operable by laws similar to the physical universe.

When my little brother was ten he told me had a dream that he was flying in space and found a crystal ball which when destroying "killed" everywhere. I also had a dream when I was sixteen that deep underground there was a "congress" of swirling orbs that were the "collective unconscious". My mother was a Jungian and I had just heard that term, so throughout my life I always easily pictured this kind of thing to be real.

>>21009419
But you're Canadian

>>21008787
ESL bait

i found an ancient city in minecraft and i wont tell anyone where it is

>>21009435
president of the world

>>21009075
Confession: I'm almost 60, retired early to the country, and the poster of the Solaria series, and write those while drinking heavily form time to time while listening to soaring music through HD600s--brutal as recovery from some binges happen to be. As for what constitutes a problem, that depends on what your survival mode, aptitude, and goals happen to be: I'm a fortunate little fucker particularly in that I can't stand depressing or sleazy circumstances of my own or anyone else's making. That is to say that I never drink unless everything is prepared carefully as holidays are. I never drink for relief, but only for fun, and stop always when the fun ends. i've no appetite for misery. Have you?

>>21009373
Neurological research is at a pretty nascent stage. We don't even have the paradigms, let alone the tools to peer into the brain and figure out the minutae of how it all works.

>>21009499
>solaria spammer is some 60 year old dude
lmao i always figured it was some zoomer chick

>>21009512
Better and better, especially to those inclined, or not, to such neologisms.

>>21009525
idk never actually read any of them whenever i see them i just think there she goes again and scroll past

>>21009532
Good. Here's another.

----- Solaria ----
206
She intoned "the toooooads" in her nightgown
From behind sliding glass doors while I held one up to my face

In memory, the fools' gold of its irises
Better than an Alcina aria.

Sometimes I wonder

>>21009752
Masturbation in moderation is good for you.

>>21009774
I made that post last thread and I made the post you are replying to. Don't twist my words and try to tempt me. Perhaps masturbation may be good for you in moderation. Yet after the initial pleasure it feels horrible. A flood of negative emotions - shame, guilt, depression - it all sets in, and it's sobering. I sit there, in the dark, cleaning my ejaculate up with a tissue, and feel at my lowest. Der coomer is the embodiment of how I feel when I masturbate. I would rather die of prostate cancer at 30 years old than face the shame of masturbation again. I may look at lewd girls, but I will never touch myself. I want my testosterone high to be endless. To lose myself in the delusional feelings of invincible masculinity. Sobriety is suffering.

>>21009774
some guy spent an hour drawing that and he couldnt have been jerking off the whole time. he drew that when he wasnt even particularly horny

dude..
https://youtu.be/izVH1CENIDs

>>21009813
I doubt the ancient Greeks were horny when they made all those statues of Venus.

>>21009760
Wonder about what?

>>21009859
stuff

What's the best lolicore album?

>>21009859
All the undiscovered plants, animals and tribes that are possibly located in Papa New Guinea. The country isn't fully documented. There could be some really crazy shit happening there.

>>21009880
please elaborate

>>21009798
The shame felt is artificial and a terrible social anchor put on you.
It is best to have sex with a partner, but there ought to be no shame in masturbation. There IS however a problem with excessive masturbation. Make no mistake.

Lullabies and music boxes for children make me cry without fail for some reason. I haven't the slightest idea why, it's been this way for more than a decade.

>>21009955
triple dubs
https://youtu.be/-LyEvuULDFs

The steel scaffold outside plays an otherwordly tune in the wind.

>>21009913
No need to. What I wonder about doesn't matter. What does matter is the fact that I wonder.

>>21009932
>The shame felt is artificial and a terrible social anchor put on you.
Really? I'm surrounded by people who tell me that masturbation is normal and healthy. If there's any social anchor put on me, it the fact that not masturbating makes me more of an outcast. The shame I feel is very real, and it's the shame that comes with being reminded that I am a loser. Onanism is an inherently degrading and indignant act. It is something that one only partakes in because they cannot find a mate. They are relegated to pleasure themselves, alone, and in the dark, only using their imagination or the imagery of others to trick themselves into experiencing what could be. I'm going to bridge the is-ought gap here and say that because animals to not masturbate in the wild, masturbation is unnatural. It is a cope made up by the domesticated man. If I was a wild animal I would not have to worry about not being a suitable mate, because if I wasn't I would be dead. Instead I exist in a limbo, my socially-incapable form propped up yet also restrained by modernity. Uncivilized and free, I could simply rape any woman whenever the urge comes, assuming she isn't already protected by another male. To coom is to accept defeat, it is to admit that you are a neutered modern man or that you are not good enough for a woman in this hypergamous society. Just as warriors of antiquity would rather die in battle than know the shame of defeat, I too would rather live life in my incel rage than relegate myself to the position of a loser, cuck, or beta.

>havent been with a girl in two years
>6.5/10 mexican zoomer girl shows interest in me
>she calls herself a homebody but says she wants to go out more
>says she has a fake id "so we should go out sometime lolz"
>looks like she cuts her own hair, and doesnt wear make up
>overheard her talking about taking the bus
>my galaxy brain deduces that shes poor
>assume that because shes mexican her dad and or uncle probably molested her
>stop texting her back because i dont wanted mentally ill mexicans knowing where i live
am i the crazy one?

>>21010062
>>my galaxy brain deduces that shes poor
>>assume that because shes mexican her dad and or uncle probably molested her
>>stop texting her back because i dont wanted mentally ill mexicans knowing where i live
too based

I have one foot in one world, the other in another. It's not as if I stand on the border, either. Each foot is at the far end of each world. I can't relate to the people in the North, nor can I fully relate to those in the South - or even those who stand in between.
Fuck, I'm lonely.

----- Solaria ----
207
(witchcraft silliness)

Generally I prefer the coolness of Borromini
Thinking through altocumulus to Bernini's all too literal duplicate--

As if the sun could be sent up by any means,
As if he could be nice

As reflection male as it goes,
The builder of built

Environments, spontaneously articulate
About dreams, instant sights,

Scenery pleasing to women as he is, being what he is, incomparable to all of them,

Firefly spectacles, musique concrete of it.

>>21007838
I tried ending things with my fwb again because she doesn't feel the same way I do but she brushed it off again saying I'm not allowed. Then she told me that I'm the first guy she has had sex with no condom and only guy who has nutted in her an that she allowed this because she knew she was going to be my first and that I was "clean"

What should I do? I feel more in love with her than ever. We plan on doing mushrooms together again soon and I know it's going to intensify everything I feel for her

Dude imagine if I was like a busker/street performer but instead of playing and instrument or something I just sit there and smoke weed and people give me money and stuff. Would be pretty cool.

>>21010158
You see, this is why christian god or any god for that matter doesn't exist. If he did he would've struck these heretics with lightning and plague. But he does nothing like the non-existant limpdick that he is while the world falls into post modernist dystopia where his moral laws no longer apply

>>21010062
My mind and brain and soul and thoughts all say no you aren't crazy and yes you are based, but my DICK SAYS I WANT FAT MEXICAN GIRL ASS ON MY FACE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>21010185
rent free

4 out of 7 of my 10/10 albums are from 2019.

>>21009816
Karajan generally bores or irritates me. Here's an exception.
Haydn, late in life, could do things Mozart never had the wisdom for. It's better than anyone could do justice to--though this is the best it's gotten so far. Also recommended anything with Stephen Hough or Trevor Piinnock at the keyboard.,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk8F0iFjL7o

>>21010224
That's odd.
Whatever could they be?

>be me
>in my thirties
>hardly have any friends
>okay job
>make "friends" and then never hang out with them again except the odd text
>friend i havent seen in almost a year texts me and says he wants to hang out because he's in my area
>literally sit and listen to him vent about his shitty job
>he keeps checking his phone because he apparently cant ignore his wifes texts
>less than an hour later he has to go because his wife says theyre leaving now
>cant even finish a fucking sentence before he gets up and leaves
>anyone my age thats still "fun" is an alcoholic loser
its over

>>21010239
ive never really gotten into classical music aside from a few songs. satie is pretty cool tho
https://youtu.be/u8A3TQsnLZ8

>>21010285
you're supposed to have a wife and then people with similar intellectual interests

>>21010285
when i saw those old boomer bikers in sturgis triggering the libs by having a biker rally in the middle of covid made me think maybe being there will be another chance to have fun when i'm old

all u trad naturebois, what's your take on this shiz?

>>21010336
Nature is a modernist human construct

>>21010340
modernism is retro tho

>>21008083
Of course you can

>>21010311
>you're supposed to have a wife
Cuck shit. Schizoid parasite gang

>>21010305
Check out The Chopin Project by Olafur Arnalds.
Similar vibe to Satie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDC0KPM0384

>>21008093
>heeeeeeyyy hOws it GoiNg yOu guuuysss
>shut the fuck up fucking whore bitch dog fucking cunt disgusting vile cunt

>>21010305
I'm attached to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDnihwnyf6Y
Few things tickle me much as it. His rendition of the Handel Op 3 concerti Grossi is also close to my heart.

>>21008371
what's chicken magic

>>21010305
bruh i have just the thing check this out. ur some lil zoomershit but maybe u heard the album supermodified by amon tobin? there was basically on good song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjDtm_tUIvI
ok the way the chords resolve right, check out this shit by debussy. tobin had to have listened to this shit, or whoever he sampled for that shit did. after this, i can't get into dudes who spam notes all over the place, debussy so economical, every one hits just right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDicZxLP2R4

>>21010384
ok
>>21010416
too crazy for my taste but super impressive. harpsichords are so comfy
>>21010421
yes bruh. amon tobin good
https://youtu.be/ELrjHQRfEJo

I keep having these jarring experiences with a girl where in a group setting she'll outright ignore me or my replies. it's very bad when the group consists of many her own friends since she's the center of gravity and anything I say gets ignored completely but if it's a mix of people I'm still involved in the conversations. Also every time I'd try to break off from the group and ask her a direct question, she'd respond in an annoyed, hushed voice like she was being questioned by a parent. the experience is jarring because I can feel the flow of the attention being directed away from me actively and my control wavering when she decides to not even look at me when I'm speaking. She's clearly doing it on purpose to lessen the effect or interest people have in me.

She knows I'm obsessed with her and I can't tell if this is some shit test where she wants me to call her out and react aggressively but that is a very dangerous game especially in public.

For your approval
https://youtu.be/XDzF0i-FFQg

>>21010448
Crazier still is Hough with the ECO playing Hummell. I used to drive around listening to this while cumulonimbus towers in the far distance did their thing, No matter how many times I listen to it, I can't believe how good it is after about the 3rd minute.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIl0lovboEQ

If I was made dictator of the USA, one thing I would do is ban all discussion of race. I would ban identifying with a race, events/writings about race, etc. I sincerely believe race is not real in any material sense, and yet it has become a mania taking over the mind of the country. The only solution is to outright destroy the concept of race itself. In that way, much if not most of America's internal tensions will fade away.

I am both physically and mentally capable of killing another human being.

>>21010544
You would resolve America's internal tensions on account of the fact that people who recognize race from all sides of the political spectrum would unite to overthrow you, either because they believe you are preserving the institution of white supremacy by ignoring the plight of poor marginalized BIPOC, or because they believe you are hastening the extinction of the white race by censoring anything that could make white people racially conscious. The only people who would side with you are neocon boomers and milquetoast neoliberals who share your sentiment that race has no material basis. In a sense, you have succeeded at your goal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4140zySR4ZY

>>21010570
What're you, nine?
Get off the board, kid.

>>21010544
>race is not real in any material sense
lol what thats one thing you can clearly say it is without even thinking what do you even mean

>>21010595
No one older than 16 uses "kid" as a diminutive.

>>21010544
>race is not real in any material sense
Genes are matter

>>21010544
genetics are real you fucking imbecile
how fucking simple can you be to still be trapped in this thought maze
you are a victim and propagator of the very mania you are complaining about
just what we need, a massive elephant in the room everybody is terrified of talking about

>>21010544
Might want to study a little before you make any decisions

>>21010599
Typical sub-zoomer

>>21010612
I'm going to use my physical and mental murderous capabilities to kill you, cheeky cunt.

I am feeling it, that, THAT, thing again, mind not good. I will be okay each word difficult to type. I want to sleep. Should go to sleep.

i now call people having a good life NPCs getting rewarded for being good NPCs
good as in material wealth lot of soulless but expensive sick shit
fuck wish i had those things sometimes
>cyphereatingsteak.jpg

>>21009373
Holy shit you people are stupid

Go read about it, neuroscience is not half as complicated as you think

>>21010544
I'd cut the military budget 25%. An unusual move for a dictator, but one that would solve a good deal of America's problems. Though it would get me JFK'd faster than you can say military-industrial complex

>>21008284
Honestly it sounds like your brother is just as much to blame. If he keeps enabling her, it's just going to get worse. Also, as the earner and head of the family, he is largely in charge of finances. HE should be prioritizing paying you back. Not talking to your sister anymore is HIS fault. You definitely should talk to him, he's the only one who can change his wife. Just be clear you're coming from a place of concern, not judgement. And don't give up on them, I've seen couples turn their lives around from total disasters to living the dream.

>>21008291
I'm sure people aren't staring as much as you think. Plus, it sounds like it could be a cool/endearing feature if you just owned it. Sorry about your father though, that's rough.

>>21009774
>>21009798
>Not masturbating gives you prostate cancer
This is absolutely false and disproven. it's essentially made up research to encourage degeneracy which will plunge you further into other self-destructive habits and depression in general.

>>21010317
Based. Anti-covid rallies and activity in general restored a modicum of my faith in humanity

>>21010744
It clearly says "moderation"
You going to say doing it at all leads to cancer?
>Degeneracy
Don't whack off to sicko fetishes

>>21009813
>an hour
>he couldnt have been jerking off the whole time
pfft, amateur

>>21010586
Anyone who reads this quote and identifies as a national socialist as opposed to a conservative is a moron. To get rich is glorious. Even the communists understood that.

Am I autistic if I’m constantly in existential thought. I can never be “in the moment”, I’m constantly thinking about what I’m doing. I’m on 4channel so I’m thinking I might be. But people think i’m easy to talk to and girls like me?

>>21010799

>>21010800
yes this is just the human condition we never truly live in the moment unless we are trained to do so through mindfulness meditation.

>>21010810
致富光荣, Deng Xiaoping either said it himself or allowed it to be attributed to him

Bros...

>>21010799
I'd rather be a poor man in a white ethnostate than a rich man in Somalia.

>>21007838
"Good faith" and "Bad faith" are fantastic concepts, so many people especially online are very obnoxiously disingenous.

>>21010800
Thought is an illusion. You're always "in the moment". To believe otherwise is snake oil.

>>21010726
100% he is to blame too. I just don't get why he can't say no or what she has over him. Or if there are threats and whatnot going on behind closed doors.

Like if she really does have some sort of mental health issue, he should be spending that money on therapy or coupels counseling or somehting instead of frivolous junk.

It's just so pitiful seeing how he lives. I went over there to mind the kids and saw the "study" where he works from home and in the corner is his desk and screen and the rest of the room is just clothes or bags of clothes and other junk they accumulated over the years. And his PS4, which he originally bought for his son but he plays now (he got me to play with him as I honestly think it's his only escape) after not ever knowing him to play videogames since highschool. It's was extremely depressing and made me wonder how bad things really are.

Many people don't even try.
Schopenhauer didn't really try. He just concluded that life is suffering because we will always want more. He thought it's fruitless to even try, and we should simply stop wanting.
But has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Has anyone even tried to reach the apex of existence? To reach a point where they can claim, "I am fully satisfied"? It is certainly not something that any man can do. Only a man with both ambition and appreciation can both reach that state and know it.
I want to experience that. The ultimate release, the ultimate catharsis. A moment where I can say, "everything in my life has led up to this moment", and I will be able to die with absolutely no regrets. There are issues - I already have so many regrets, and my criteria for reaching such state of fulfillment can not likely be accomplished within a single lifetime. And what Schopenhauer is right, and as I get closer to my goal, I only want more, and I set another goal? Do I just keep pushing until I reach it? My regrets may fade with time if I chase after my goals, but then my goals may only grow. If I ignore my goals, then my regrets will only build more and more. Then again, who knows what life has in store for me, or anyone. Maybe, just by living, I will come across that moment I am looking for, and experience a slice of heaven.

>>21010880
I wait eagerly in anticipation for what awaits.

>>21010871
Sounds like they’re both damaged people in a toxic relationship

>>21010917
But will you really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

I don’t even know what we’d say to each other after everything that’s happened. It’s all gotten convoluted and strange. Maybe that’s my fault.

The fucking ball smell is inescapable. The musk. Once you get enough T your balls just smell like that by default, no matter how much you try to clean them. It's like the cum and pheromones themselves are seeping through the scrotum. I hope some girl smells my musk and likes it. I would fuck her senseless and refuse to respect her dignity or boundaries.

>>21010880
yeah there have been time emperors and conquerors big time druggies and hedonists and they all realize that even the biggest conquest and hardest cooom will leave you empty inside

>>21010880
>But has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
>>21010920
>But will you really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
wtf is that sentence

what exactly is a split personality

>>21010966
Schizophrenics manifesting their delusions into a separate personality

>>21010973
how do you check for it because i feel like i have some conflicting beliefs

The year is 2050. From being the most populous language at ~200k words, English has now degraded to about 3. There's only three words left in the language, and your only options of communication are repeating them over and over with different inflections while gesturing wildly.

How did this start?

This started with you refusing to use "he" and "she". And "it". Don't forget that one.

“The ignorant man is not free, because what confronts him is an alien world, something outside him and in the offing, on which he depends, without his having made this foreign world for himself and therefore without being at home in it by himself as in something his own. The impulse of curiosity, the pressure for knowledge, from the lowest level up to the highest rung of philosophical insight arises only from the struggle to cancel this situation of unfreedom and to make the world one's own in one's ideas and thought.”
― Hegel, G. W. H.
Where Hegel is wrong here and Nietzche is right is that to know the world is to conform the mind to it, not vice versa. Knowledge is a kind of equilibrium between what is and thought. To dominate the world via the will to power, which is what I wanna do, is to conform the world to your mind. To hell with "knowledge is power", power is knowledge. For if what I want to be becomes what is, I already know it. I have mastered it.

Played college ball ya know

>>21010880
“What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?
Or what fond beggar, but to touch the crown,
Would with the sceptre straight be strucken down?”
― William Shakespeare, The Rape of Lucrece

>>21011066
Never had the makings of a varsity athlete

>>21011044
This shit again. Retards it's not some conspiracy to not use the gender.
I still use he or she but sometimes "they" just sounds natural in a sentence.
Stop being a hysterical faggot.

>>21011066
>Armstrong
>has strong arms
Truly genius method of naming characters.

>>21011288
>it's not some conspiracy
Nobody said it is. It's just an increasingly common error.
>"they" just sounds natural in a sentence
It sure does. When it's used for plurality. Otherwise it doesn't. I suggest you stop coping.

>>21007838
I really need to stop scroooling and start reading. I keep getting off track even though my book is right in front of me

Im having a dilemma on whenever stay in my small town for 2-3 months and then move in the bigger city or just move in the bigger city right now.

>>21011400
You just can't resist the vibin' hustle of big city, can you

>>21011407
heh, its a deadend here.

Thoughts on these books?

>>21011437
All you need is a church and a good woman

>>21011463
>good woman
you're a funny guy, I'll give you that.

Bros...im boring

>>21010544
ah yes the french solution

Why are people so afraid of being alone

>>21011543
It depends on the situation and what one means by the term. It's one thing to revel in wintry spectacles from a car parked in view of a nature preserve, quite another to suffer privation from what all of that implies. Solitude is heaven, loneliness is hell. I've suffered little of the latter, yet fear it from time to time.

I just realized the reason men are into manic bpd pixie dreamgirls is because they are unpredictable, which makes them interesting. All other girls have such dull fucking personalities but bpd hoes have the air of the unconquerable, they are an invitation to your Faustian spirit and a call to adventure. I love bpd hoes bros

>>21010544
Just poke everyones eyes out

>>21011586
But why
Why is it so scary to be alone
Not for a little bit but for a long time
Why are people scared of dying alone
You'll be dead it won't matter and if you care so much about your last words you have the whole rest of your life to write them down

>>21011679
People are scared of pain, they are scared they will fall and not be able to get up, and without anyone around they will die a slow and agonizing death.They just want someone to hold their hand and tell them it will all be all right.

>>21008560
Take your meds
Touch grass
Have sex

>muh dualism
>muh monism
There are actually three realities: subjective reality, material reality, spiritual reality.

Many years ago a man did an art performance where he did nothing but walk around the city completely naked.
Couple of years ago a woman, inspired by this man, did an art performance where she stood on the roof of an art museum completely naked.
Yesterday another man did the exact same performance as the first man.
This isn't art, this is narcissists using the fact art is very loosely defined to indulge in their exhibitionism. And no one will say it out loud because they will be immediately labeled as ignorant and too stupid to appreciate art.
If a child yelled out emperor is naked, the only ting that would happen is that its mother would be accused of raising it poorly.

>>21011778
>This isn't art, this is narcissists
Yes, that's leftism. You can see left and right as a spectrum between narcissism and serving others (nation/God)

As I get older I have more and more intrusive thoughts. I think it's supposed to be the other way around and that scares me...

>>21011652
Dont opposites attract? Like autistic men and bpd women?

>>21011783
There's plenty of good quality artists that don't serve nation/God (and work under hard conditions), and there is also a lot of people that are (seemingly) serving nation/God but are narcissists, so you can't really blame leftism for everything.

>>21011802
>There's plenty of good quality artists
Narcissists can be good artists; see Picasso
> there is also a lot of people that are (seemingly) serving nation/God but are narcissists
>seemingly
There's your issue
> so you can't really blame leftism for everything.
I didn't do that, learn to read.

>>21007907
Does high art exist for you?

F for queen

>>21011778
>This isn't art, this is narcissists using the fact art is very loosely defined to indulge in their exhibitionism
That's most art even if the artist is fully clothed and asexual, anon.

>>21011811
>I didn't do that, learn to read.
Your first line is literally "it's leftism". And then you proceed to call all leftists narcissists by virtue of being leftist, when narcissism is a condition not limited to political alignment.
Picasso had talent for great works, but what he did looked like he was mocking art, rebelling against it.

>>21008831
>The next 4 years I will subsist on rice and coffee and try to live closer to my ideal Vietnamese peasant lifestyle

why?

I am 100% more pleasent of a human being and more efficent in day to day activities, when I just enjoy life

>>21011827
>Your first line is literally "it's leftism". And then you proceed to call all leftists narcissists by virtue of being leftist
Correct, but what did I blame them for? I didn't say narcissism => bad art. I just said they're narcissist, which they are and is intrinsic to leftism. Some narcissists can do good even if accidentally, and, in terms of talent, it seems to be well distributed across the spectrum. You're the one complaining about things, not me.

>>21008990
Just start the week when you wake up, you dumb cunt

>>21011827
Not him but reducing Picasso to a joker poking fun suggests that he didn't like art. He is mocking art, but he's doing it in a way that you can only do if you love art. The best analogy I can think of is like how criminal enterprise bosses see themselves as more efficient businessmen; Picasso saw himself as a kind of hyperartist, where he was taking everything to its logical if ridiculous ends and getting there faster.

You can do what you want to do, in living color

>>21008083
absolutely not by that point you've ran out of neuro plastics and you'll need to inject dopamine from syringes and everytime you masturbate a good portion of your 'essence' is permanently depleted

>>21011852
Kek who's making these abstract reaction images? Someone generating them with an AI?

>>21011835
You know what's funny, neither I nor you have any idea what the political alignment of people from my initial post is, for all we know they could be voting christian conservatives. My problem with them is that they are the face of my country's art scene, and it's just naked person without much effort, no composition, no play with light. Nothing really to set them apart from women having naked pictures taken so men could masturbate to them.

>>21011868
>christian conservatives.
>demonic rituals
Ok anon

>>21011703
More than that is the safety of numbers. Of course there's a balance to that. Life in an Indian city is dystopian by any objective measure, for the same reason that life in a wealthy exurb is the nearest thing to utopia ever attained.

>>21008083
yes, you can
I have no idea why so many anons here think you can't, maybe it's a way to cope with being lazy

>>21010521
you already lost, if you are thinking about her that often and with this detail, YOU HAVE ALREADY lost.

you need to stop caring at what she does and rather focus on having interesting conversations, cracking a couple of jokes, and just enjoy yourself.

she should work for your attention and not the other way around, from now on everytime you think of her do 10 push-ups and never stop until you stop thinking of her in your free time.

read a book
work out
eat and sleep good

women will come on their own

>>21010645
Did you already wake up?

>>21011875
>not being naked before God
>>21011868
To be fair most of these performances are done where they're expected to get a reaction for minimal effort. Any shock art from piss Christ to Muslim scripture on a naked lady plays on the social imagination for near rent free. It's not the kind of pornography you're making it out to be, because part of exhibitionism is the unwillingness of the audience, which is what makes it shock art not erotica where the viewer consents to the titillating effect.

>>21010800
everything you do is "in the moment" if you remeber something you are doing it "in the moment" and the "past" also just exists "in the moment" and the "future" also just exists "in the moment"

>>21010826
...yeah?

Trying to be a nicer person.

I really do wonder what my mother did or did not do to me.

>>21010954
newfag
lurk moar

had a really scary but cool dream last night
it was a recurring dream but this time it had a different, yet still unsatisfactory, ending

I'm a lazy loser

>>21011994

>>21012000
What happened in the dream, please elaborate

>>21012055
Knowing is the first step for changing.

>>21012091
If you don't regret it, it won't move any further though

Crawling out of my NEET basement turned out to be a terrible mistake.
My job is easy and low responsibility (data entry, nepotism) but I despise the office environment and everyone in there. Every hour spent there is suicide fuel.
My girl"friend" is a boring, vapid pig. There's no attraction after few months of honeymoon period and I hate living with her. She's like an annoying sister who demands things, plus it's becoming apparent she has much more colorful sexual past than she admitted initially.
I don't want any of this anymore. Where are the days of shitposting, working out and reading?

>>21012252
break up with gf and begin looking for other job opportunities?

>>21011768
where can I read about this anon

>>21012272
No energy for a restart, I can barely keep up this routine I got myself into. After years of smug superiority over "normies", I finally understand why people just shut down after work and watch Netflix with women they don´t even like.

>>21012287
surely there must be a way out of the hole. Have you tried meditating? It might help you feel better after a long day

>>21012304
Gonna look into it, but I dread the prospect of distractionless introspection in my current situaton desu.

>>21012350
It's not about introspection anon, it's about sitting down and clearing your mind or focusing on something. It can be your fucked-up situation, or a cool pebble you just found. Speaking of, gonna go do it after dinner, I have a nice rock

>>21012103
But from which perspective does this make you a lazy loser?

If you have achieved everything you want and don't want anything more, why would one consider you a lazy loser?

Like even from an outside perspective, if someone were to ask you, what are your goals, and you were to answer that you reached them all, why would they call you lazy?

>>21007838
I can't do this life, I'll have to kill myself eventually

Im super stoked that jannis deleted that abandon ship shit thread. life truly does imitate art sometimes. keks all around

Why so many sad boys in these threads?
>Boo hoo. I'm sad. My life is meaningless and I should kill myself.
Yes, you really should. Everyone has heard the same sad boy schtick a million times already. You get nothing out of being a sad boy. Do sad boys know that the relentlessness of the sad boy to be a sad boy only makes people hate them? Do they continue to be a sad boy just for the sole purpose of reaffirming their existence as a sad boy? Such behavior will only lead to suicide or a pitiful death. If that's the case, why not just cut to the chase and kill themselves? Why do they have to irritate others with their sad boy bullshit?
It's never anything refreshing either. Sad boys always post the most bland, basic-bitch depressive stuff. It's like they don't even have a real understanding of what it is to be in a genuinely dark place, and just put up the most surface-level imitation of depression. Nothing about these sad boys seems to come from any real sense of despair, they seem to do nothing to stop being sad or to help them get through their sadness. Maybe my prior theory was wrong. Maybe sad boys lack the self-awareness to see that being a sad boy just annoys everyone else. It's not some deliberate self-sabotage, they are just completely retarded. Maybe sad boys are just imitating other sad boys, in a perpetual echo chamber. They see other people being sad, and think that they should be sad also, out of the unconscious human desire to fit in.
Oh, woe is you!

>>21012583
emoji poster destroys sad boys with facts and logic?! now this is epic!

>>21012583
I live so you can never be satisfied.

>>21012583
I refrain from being a sad boy in front of people irl precisely because of this attitude, so i come here to vent. This has been very bad because it's kind of split my personality. I feel so fake around my peers and the sad boy in me festers. Been thinking about calling up a friend and just confessing how much of a fuck up my mind really is. He and everyone else thinks I'm a super stoic, easy going, happy go lucky kind of person when in reality I'm a high functioning alcoholic who frequently self harms

Im too pesimisstic to the point that I dont want to do anything.

>>21007838
any crossposters from /g/ here? I need some help with my paperwhite. So out of pure, petty spite, kindle strips the covers from side-loaded books. I've spent dozens of hours trying to find a solution that isn't calibre (I can't download the newest ver. so it's not an option).

What I have discovered is that apparently it has something to do with the metadata of the image used. So, what I'm trying to figure out is a)what metadata needs to be changed to what and b)where I can go to access the metadata of an image

>>21011652
I agree but I don't want to suffer anymore. The best thing that has come out of this has been that it totally forced me to drop my pride and though it has lowered me in her eyes, it's removed the scales from MY eyes. I remember some vague comment about NPD/BPD attracting due to this dynamic where the unstable nature of the BPD women disintegrates the narcissist's illusion and this is unconsciously sought after. I think the phenomenon is beyond these terms but it is precisely this sort of 'death' that is brought upon by growing attached to these women. In my time with this women I had a number of these experiences all because her hot/cold attitude started to shake the foundations of my pride and my beliefs would go up into flames.

>>21011906
yeah man I don't need money twitter spacing/advice. you can only live so long in that state of monkish content before you get hit with an arrow that brings down the whole structure. it took some months of reinforcement but after a while the same focused, strict, obsessional qualities that allowed me to form good habits were slowly transferred over to thinking about her. I aware it needs to end because I agree I've long lost this dumb game but circumstances have her constantly in my life.

>>21012812
same

also id say bpd women know that they are unstable and are trying to attach themselves to your projected strength. they know that the things they do hurt the people around them and are looking to find a partner that they will be "safe" around(meaning someone who will not retaliate). I heard "I could never say anything to hurt you" and "when this is all over you'll be just fine right?" many, many times. In the end ironically she was more fucked up by everything than me and I realized I needed psychotherapy.

>>21011778

>>21011652
Interesting thoughts

>>21011652
Pretty much

Also to most men, average men, women are all dour and bitchy and "ugh why haven't you impressed me yet" so a woman being just genuinely effusive and nice is a crazy switch-up. Women underestimate how love starved most men are, I'm amazed normies never got the memo that the rising incel tide is seriously a fucking ticking time bomb. Men need reasons to check into society or they check out by default. It's dangerous.

Booked a room in a resort to celebrate my birthday with my gf. We broke up two weeks ago and now I have to find someone to go with me. any tips?

Today I saw two women lay down a picnic towel in the grass area of a supermarket parking lot.
It was very endearing but also very sad for some reason. Reminded me of Calvino's Marcovaldo.
Now I want to write something based on this event.

job interview in 20mins but im eating perogies in a bathrobe
i already received an offer from another company so im not very concerned

I'm looking through my Kindle deciding what to read next and there's a little thing with dots that roughly indicates the size of the books, and I suddenly noticed that The Name of the Wind was nearly as big as the book that contains the entire Malazan series. Can anyone confirm if that's true, is The Name of the Wind really that fucking long and it's only the first entry in its series? And don't worry, I don't intend to actually read it. I downloaded it years ago to see why it's so heavily mocked around here and was instantly put off by the writing within the first few pages. I only just now noticed it's still on my Kindle.

>>21013265
you saw two people enjoying themselves and it made you sad?

>>21013346
yes, a little
they were in a parking lot of a very commercial/industrial area, is it weird that I find it sad?
it was also inspiring, but sad nonetheless

>>21008083
I recently learned how to send and listen to Morse code with OK proficiency. I am 38.

>>21013346
>>21013357
Very burgerpunk

>>21013270
update: i fucking nailed it

>>21013346
>>21013357
>>21013400
Actually, sadness is not the right word.
It's more of a mix of nostalgia and second hand embarassment (but not embarassment) and maybe pity?
For instance, when you see a poor person enjoy a small thing that you take for granted, or someone couting coins to buy a small treat at the supermarket register.
Is there a word for this?
Is this a common feeling at all, or am I just being patronizing/condescending? I was raised poor so feeling this way is something that happens quite often.

>>21013448
for what

>>21013457
some web dev job, they're going to set up a 2nd round interview for me now.
i have an offer for some software job but im way more interested in this web one.
whatever, im going to take off my suit now and go back into my robe

>>21013471
oh, nice. welcome to the club.

>>21013490
yeah, I was apart of the club this summer but unfortunately suffered a corporate layoff after only a few months.
feels nice to be lining up offers and interviews as a junior though

>>21012929
written like a true cuck. stop coping faggot and start working out and eating good.

>>21013455
Anon learns what the word relative really means

>>21007838
I'm getting my dick licked right now.

>>21013568
Anon that's animal abuse

>>21013568
post picture

My grandmother on my mother's side went through a brief but severe illness recently, and it got me thinking about her side of my family.
Most of what I'm going to write here comes from what my dad learned from my mom, some of it what I could gather, and a tiny fraction from what my mom and her relatives told me.
The only thing I know about my grandma's dad is that he was an alcoholic who hanged himself in a way that made sure his daughter would be the one to discover his body when she came home from school. I know nothing about her mother.
My grandpa's dad, too, was an alcoholic. I know this sounds like the beginning of some misery porn novel, but that's just how things were in post-war Hungary. He was a schoolteacher and some type of church functionary, and he also had a habit of viciously beating his kids. The one and only time grandpa ever opened up about this was during a family gathering where he out of nowhere stated that he never really felt like his parents ever loved him.
So I guess it's no wonder that both my grandparents had some psychological baggage to deal with. They married out of necessity because grandma had gotten pregnant with my uncle. This forced grandpa to abandon a higher education to support the family. My dad theorizes that this caused him to resent my uncle. I've no idea if this is true, but the resentment is definitely there. I've never heard him speak even a kind word to his own son. In his eyes, it's like he can't ever do anything right. He pushed him to his absolute limits in sports, right to the cusp of becoming the European Champion in his discipline, but even that wasn't enough. Grandma, on the other hand, only ever cared about my uncle, her first born child, just as she only cares about me, her first born grandson. Mom could just as well have been air. She's got pictures of my uncle and us grandkids in her wallet, but none of my mom. Anything of value she owns, she intends to leave to my uncle.
1/2)

this part of the procession moved me strangely

>>21007838
how do i improve my retention/memory

>>21013622
I can't imagine how damaging it must have been to grow up in such an environment, and it never ceases to surprise me that both my mom and my uncle grew up to be, in almost every regard, great people. Kind, smart, loyal, etc, etc.
Sure, they both inherited grandpa's short fuse and grandma's insatiable need for social interaction, but only as slight personality quirks that serve to make them even more endearing.
I can't believe how lucky I got.

I can tell by the way a person looks whether or not I'll like their literature.

>>21013658
You can learn the good from the bad and the bad from the good

>>21013748
what do you think about her literature?

>>21013561
what do you mean?
and yea I'm ESL

>>21012252

>>21013759
Her eyes have this dipshit look to them. There's a 95% chance I would hate her literature. Plus, I usually don't read female authors.

>>21013768
what about him?

>>21013761
This people enjoy this "little" things in life like they are "big" things because from their point of view the thing is actually huge:relative to what they have

>>21013778
Seems to have a jovial countenance. Overweight, not a good sign. There's a 50% chance I would hate his literature.

>>21013795
Oh ok, now I get what you're saying

Yea that's true, that's why it makes me sad I guess
Because I see myself in those people and those types of things might've happened to me in the past, but now I'm doing better so I see it from a different perspective

>>21009422
I think the brain is a very complex input output system (I'm oversimplifying heavily, I know), the mind is the 'switchboard' (think ladies connecting different cables to different households in 'ye olden telephone days) that turns on different parts of the brain depending on things, and that the consciousness is a process that is aware of all of this. Like a cognitive retina on which all the sensations that take place in the brain fall.

>>21010054
>animals do not masturbate in the wild

I doubt that sincerely. I think animals would play with their genitals given the chance. Hell, even babies rub their genitals because it feels good. Babies and infantile children are basically animals.

>>21013797
Last one

Could you also provide maybe 3 authors that you like and dislike?

in the 2 months i've went out probably 5 or 6 times. i wasn't really trying but on 3 times i could've pulled. but in each case i a) went back to hers and left when she started kissing be b) said no when she asked for my number and c) left her to go meet my dealer
not sure what's up with me.

>>21013875
*in the last 2 months

>>21013875
what kind of drugs are you taking?

>>21013891
just coke

>>21013856
Looks to be an average White Man™ in all respects, even down to his style of hair and clothing. I probably wouldn't find anything very objectionable, nor very interesting, about his writing. There is, however, a 37% I would hate his literature, depending on what normie viewpoint is thematically present.

Authors I like:
Arthur Clarke
Giovanni Boccaccio
Tolkien

Authors I hate:
Ray Bradbury
Maya Angelou
Any modern leftist

>>21013926
how much you are currently paying?

>>21013947
£220 for an eight ball

It's strange that the friends and acquaintances of mine have distinct personalities which distinguishes them from one another, but I cannot figure out the personality of mine. I am like water that takes the shape of the vessel it is in, or I am just afraid to be myself truly -- it's normal for me to adopt the interests of the person I'm chatting with, or at least imitate the interest -- it is hardly genuine.

>>21013945
The pictures of the three people were created by an ai

I dont know why I could just from the first post guess how you would respond to each post? people on the left and right are so programmed that both of your sides behave like NPCs with the same talking points and view like everyone else.

Tell me why you hate these authors and what you have read from them? Did you actually engage with the literature at hand?

Politics has made you blind to the cruel realtiy of control that is being enacted on all of you. The left is your boogie man of choice, the faggot to your right will tell you its the alt-right that will destroy the world. Why are you all the same bots with you bot behavior?

>>21013967
but isnt an eight ball a mixture between herion and coke? or is it just 8g of coke for 220?

did the death of the queen increase coke prices?

>>21013981
an eight ball is 1/8oz (3.5g).
coke is usually 70 a gram.

>>21013553
nigger i do. i'm just being honest and you're speaking to me in a typed alpha language like a braindead bot thinking i haven't been on the internet/ read books for the past 10 yrs absorbing the same shit. take a second and view the world outside of the grinding competitive left brain lense and maybe we can speak until then fuck you and your whores.

>>21013972
>The pictures of the three people were created by an ai
Yes, and? I knew they weren't real authors because there were no image search results for any of them.

>people on the left and right are so programmed
What makes you think I'm either? The left wing is more highly charged today, and I'm more commonly confronted with their literature, so I hate them more. A century ago, I might have felt the same way towards conservatives. I'm apolitical by nature.

>Tell me why you hate these authors
Ray Bradbury is peak midwit, Maya Angelous is a retarded black cunt (which is only relevant because it summarizes her writing), and I already explained why I hate 'any modern leftist'.

>The left is your boogie man
Psychopaths and talentless social climbers are my boogie men. Those people are currently drawn towards the left. Again, a century ago I would have had different feelings.

>>21013213
>I'm amazed normies never got the memo that the rising incel tide is seriously a fucking ticking time bomb
To acknowledge that the establishment would have to acknowledge the failure of progressive ideology. To remedy it, the establishment would have to dismantle the progressive power structure. We're way too far gone as a society that to state as fact these politically incorrect points and then work to enforce the politically incorrect points would be seen as the work of theocratic fascism. Just look at the response to Roe v Wade being overturned. Even here on /lit/ we had a few retards proclaiming that Chrtisto-Fascism has taken over the Judiciary.
In short, young men will continue to be alienated until the tipping point is reached

>>21013239
I'll go with you.

>>21013972
I thought they were stock images, tbqh pham. I still played along. I think you're the one on a political witch hunt, my niggard.

>>21013999
bro I love you

>>21013992
and how long can you go with just that amount?

>>21014064
what are you taking a survey

>>21014064
an 8 ball? one night for two people
(i'm a different Anon)

>>21014064
>>21013981
>>21013947
>>21013891

>>21014090

>>21014090
You're paranoid. Stop doing so much coke.

I have stopped browsing all my main hobby boards (/v/ /a/ /tv/ and /co/) because they are totally infested by coomers.
I have totally stopped browsing pointless boards like /b/ and /r9k/ because of the same and because reading that shit all day is doing a number to my brain.
All that keeps me coming back is /g/ /lit/ and /sci/, or rather, the hope that I will find something interesting and new amongst the bait and opinionated people.
I skim through posts ignoring nearly everything I read. What's the use in arguing with people here if you value your time? Why should I occupy my mind debating the thoughts and ideas of some literally who on the internet?

The moment I open any of the hobby boards I go back to coom mode and it could last for days.
The moment I engage with an opinionated/retarded poster my day might as well be consumed by F5'ing the same thread until either of us gets BTFO'd.

That's all there's been to 4chan for me for the last 10 years. Constant porn and constant debates over the pettiest shit.

I feel like I'm about to escape the grip of this place. I see a lot of good things on 4chan and I don't see a reason to "quit forever" or whatever, but I'm finally struggling to find a reason to come here everyday beyond fear.

Thank you for reading my diarydesu

>>21014083
never really got the appeal of coke. tried it a couple of times (tho I never really knew if it was really coke, but I assume that it was) and it never had a serious effect. it just cleared the fog of the alcohol or weed and made me more alert and gave me an insane appetit for more coke.

I can imagine fucking on it must be rather awesome

>>21014101
You keep coming back because you occasionally find novel information. If you had an IRL replacement, you wouldn't need 4chan. Good luck finding it, though.

>>21014101
I browse literally two generals, this being one. I feel the same way. I might break free from 4channel for good

>>21014101
I mean in a sense you are right. I am torn between fucking random chicks in rl to validate my small fucking ego and shit posting on /lit/ while on my other monitor i browse thorugh /gif/.

The coping get more easy if you get the standard normie "I made it things". Money, decent job with status associated, women and other materlistic shit. But in the end I find my self returning to this site over and over again.

>>21014105
don't be fooled the black line at the top shows its the fake shit.

>>21014105
I've only done coke a few times. It was instant euphoria for me, but not as good as MDMA. I'm more of a hallucinogen guy.

>>21014083
jesus christ, the few times ive done coke ive split less than a gram with 3-4 people and always had a good time without really needing or wanting more.
some of you guys really have some bad habits. a few keys are good enough for me.

drugs hahaha

>>21014131
but at a party that starts at 4pm and ends at 11am the next day, a few keys just isn't enough

>>21014121
currently I am a stupid daily stoner (pretty up for a joint right now), but I took 250 of LSD in the summer and it blew my mind. the ego death was quite interesting and the melting of personal reality was one of the most eye opening experiences. weed in comparison is childsplay and I would say the same for coke and alcohol.

>>21014136

last time i did blow my friend and i were looking for a frozen burrito we had dropped in the street. it was 7am. people were walking their dogs and going to work. we did not look ok. strong reality check.
i havent done coke since. id do it again. but i dont want to be like that again.

>>21014152
I agree. It's an experience you can't explain to the uninitiated, and you usually sound stupid when you try, as >>21014136 pointed out.

>>21014131
rock up to a soho loft with a 50 doing keys

>>21014166
can't understand how people eat on gak.

the ____________ of cocaine snorting

>>21014198
worst trollsona. i miss butterfly

>>21013239
where is it? ill show up

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvTUvCRs6JE
oh shit new bronze 56k

>>21014202
i am butters
>>21014216
not aesthetic
https://youtu.be/f5WiJVz7pFY

>>21014198
queen elizabeth

>>21013768
You have this great expressive writing style. Really shows the girth of your dipshitery

>>21014230
Are you now?

Next thread
>>21014390
>>21014390
>>21014390

I've decided to write a non-fiction book, but am undecided about the topic.

Pain. Suffering, even. Agony, if you will. Torture, if you're so inclined.

>>21011924
>Did you already wake up?
yeahaa ^^

>>21014550
Why?

the internet is

I would like to rewind my life 3 to 5 years.

I'm really miserable in this job.

I hate women because I love them

>>21015267
whirrrrrrrrdwdwdrwrdrwrdwrdrwrwrcrrrrrn
done
go for it

>>21015662
oh, shit. I did everything the same.
once more?

>>21015691
nrrrrrcrwrwrdrwdrwrdrwrdwdwdrrrrrrrrihw
fuckkk i fast forwarded 5 years

>>21015469
Why waste time hating them in their entirety?
Who is blameless?
Because you “love them”? A broken kind of love