/lit/ - Literature

thread hymen yadda yadda sloppy seconds you know the drill

Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q10: The author decided to forego the query letter altogether and just went right into Chapter 1. The quality of the writing is exactly 1 million percent more valuable than a query letter could ever be...but you should still include one with your submission. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q9: Classic story retelling. There are already tons of classic story retellings out there, not sure what this one brings to to the table. Pass. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q8: Writing isn't there. One of the most common reasons I pass on a submission is that the writing isn't there. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q7: Military fiction. I really like MF...but unless the writing is spectacular and the story is unlike anything else I've read, it's just a really tough sell. Pass. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q6: Well-written query, great comp titles, author did her research and queried me because she read it's my kind of story. Few things will separate you from the pack like proving to an agent you did your homework and are querying that specific agent for a reason. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q5: I genuinely admire and appreciate persistence, a consistent willingness to improve, and taking your shot...but if you've queried me so many times with so many different projects that I immediately recognize your name in my inbox, we just might not be a good match. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q4: Spider-themed horror novel. I'll always be a sucker for spider stories, especially one that sounds like it offers a fresh twist on the usual fare. Will request. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q3: Opening pages are a long, incredibly accurate, fairly detailed medical report regarding a cause of death. Impressive...but a simple "The medical report revealed that he had been poisoned" would have gotten the point across and not bogged the story down. Pass. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q2: Opens with a fairly violent action scene. Opening with action is good, and violence can be a powerful tool when done well, but this just feels gratuitous and a bit unnecessary. Pass. #tenqueries


Alec Shane @alecdshane · 11 Jun 2021
Q1: Russian spy thriller. Maybe it's just me, but I still don't have any interest in Russian espionage and the strained US/Russian relationship. Pass. #tenqueries

https://mswishlist.com/queries/page450

>>20987816
Oh boy I'm going to try this guy. Post more agents

>>20987805
Here's my first page even though I posted excerpts of my story before.

Another hunt for another monster; protecting the world from those that dare to cause harm. Five in total moved together in a line. Dry branches snapped with every step as wild berries stained the armor of the knights navigating through the thicket. The moon illuminated their path. Mud caked the bottom of their boots, as droplets of water splashed around them. The team gently crossed the creek — silencing any splashes that may alert the enemy. The chirps of crickets stifled the clinks from their chainmail. Nature and movement blended together creating a sonata sung by Nature herself. Their leather gloves and steel armlets cover their hands and arms from the cold, defending them from the thorns. Packing a canteen of water, some small explosives, a map, and a memento reminding them of either their vows or a loved one, the knights left a majority of their belongings back at camp. They kept their hands close to their swords, ready to draw their blades at a moment's notice.
“Disgusting,” Adah muttered, brushing the cobwebs off her face.
“Little flower can’t handle some wee spiders eh?” Darius responded behind her.
“Shut it before I shove my fist down your throat,”
“Yes, we all know how much you love to shove things down your throat.”
“Hush,” Morath ordered, “we’re close."
Morath De’levieur, the leader of the group, crouched and raised his hand stopping his team. The group hid behind the row of fidgeberry bushes peeking through any openings available. The cover of night and the scent from the flora provided camouflage from the danger of detection. Clouds of breath gathered, as the group watched for signs of the ghastly remnant they were sent to destroy.
“There it is,” Morath said.
It was more than forty steps away, trudging along as faint blue streaks of magic lingered behind. The lich walked with a staff, helping it balance, as it crept around the fidgeberry bushes away from the group. The edges of the tattered cloak sparkled from the gold that remained. On the back of its cloak, a glowing insignia remained intact and whole. The knights did not recognize the symbol, but that did not matter. The ghostly figure reached out and plucked a berry from the flora, putting it inside an unseen pocket, oblivious to the situation it was in. The hunt was almost over.
“Adah, prepare your spell. Reeves and Cassandra ready the flank. Wait for my signal. Darius, with me,” Morath ordered, “we have a single opportunity to kill it.”
Spells never hurt the user, but can cause devastating effects against those that it is used against. Adah knelt as she laid her palm on the ground.

>>20987857
You forgot your Kim Wexler image.

>>20987885
Oh God please don't compare me to that idiot. He never posts his shitty work.

>>20987816
>writing isn't there

deep fear of mine. how do you know if your writing is there?

>>20987907
It’s all subjective. For me personally, the most common turn off is a fucked up flow.

>>20987857

>The team gently crossed the creek
Sounds funny, keeping in mind that it's a unit of armored knights. "meticulously" would fit better imo.

The fact that they started talking right after that was off-putting.

Liches in fantasy are usually bigshots, but that's just a nitpick of mine.

It's very RPG-y, if that was a goal, you succeed. If it was meant to be more grounded and realistic, something didn't click for me.

>Packing a canteen of water, some small explosives, a map, and a memento reminding them of either their vows or a loved one
qq, did every single one of them have all that stuff?

I did post my work no one reviewed it.

>>20987907
You just have to have faith. I'm in the same situation - querying a finished novel and getting no bites. But in a novel of 100k words I can flip to any single page and read what I wrote months ago with satisfaction. I guess the true test is if you revisit what you've written and cringe because it misses the mark so much.

All right, I've come to a decision. After reading through all the feedback you guys gave me yesterday, I've decided to scrap my NEET novel. It's regrettable, especially considering I was a third of the way through it, but it is what it is. Going through it again, I just don't think I can fix it. There's a chapter in there that I could probably salvage into a short story, so it wasn't a total loss. I've got another idea for another novel about a former boxer turned high school teacher. I'll be tinkering with the outline over the next couple weeks, and in the meantime, I'll be working on some short stories that I've been kicking around in my head for a while. I'll probably read another book or two on the craft while I'm at it. I'm not giving up yet, boys.

>>20987857
>>20987935
Also, describe the lich. What's a lich? I don't know. You have his cloak, but not how he looked. Did he still have some flesh rotting on his corpse, or was it just a spooky skelly in a blanket.

Also, how do they know if it's close?

I posted my work but no one replied...

>>20987964
post it again, anon

>>20987935
My idea was cop/knights. I can post the rest of the chapter later. I'm happy that the grammar works

some guy asked something to write about in his essay of WRT101 class to stand out and the thread was pruned.
>>20987879
serial killer prisoner Avery goes to prison for the most heinous crimes and on his first day unknowingly defends a lanky guy getting bullied. he's finally led to his cell where the same lanky guy, now named Hanviller, tells him an OG has been his cellmate before and they have both been preparing an escape plan for years. Hanviller spits and says that the OG was killed one day before they finished digging the tunnel and he has been waiting ever since for a replacement with enough balls to go through the plan with him because the force of two men is needed at the very last part. Hanviller was a corrupt white collar back in the days and says he knows some guys on the outside who can forge new identities for both of them. Avery refuses because he doesn't want to go back there but finds a journal under the sink. he reads it and realizes it belonged to the OG. Hanviller says the poor bastard was obsessed with the greeks and spent all the time he wasn't digging writing a fanfiction novella about prisoners-philosophers going back to Plato's time, waging war and listening to lectures, some shit like that. Avery picks it up and turns out somewhat obsessed with the intrigue of the story after sorting through a few pages. a week later some green light flashes across the prison buildings right into their cell and Avery asks what this is about. Hanviller says that he thought Avery would agree to go so he had asked for forged papers at his last family visit, but that it doesn't matter anymore because Avery refused anyways. Avery nods then grabs Hanviller and reopens the sink hole. Hanviller calls him a madman and says that if he wants to do it now, now is the very perfect time to go. they escape and after stabilizing their situation, they part ways. Hanviller gives Avery a car, papers and money and says they will be parting ways. Avery parks everyday in front of a community college to read what Plato is all about and one day, in search of meaning, decides to read back the OG's journal. somewhat entranced with the prose, he decides he will be going to a WRT101 class to write as well.

>>20987857
>>20987857
same things were immediately noticeable to me, so expect others to feel the same.
i'm not sure what tone you're going for, but it could have been tense and less chatty, regardless of if they were trying to be quiet or not.

>>20987936
prove it

>>20987933
Flow irritates me so much because Ive read so much on it, even analyzed poetry and emphasis of words and how it affects the sense of speed, even the varriation of syllable count and sentence complexity, yet I still produce some messed up stuff before an editor holds my hand through it. It's perhaps my biggest blindspot right now.

>>20987951
Oh I thought there were accepted visuals that cross all stories. Like a dragon. We all know it's some sort of giant lizard with wings. Or a unicorn. I didn't know writers should describe those things too.

>>20987995
That's just human blindness. You read this essay? It's a good one. Gets very technical and useful after the introductory biographical bit.

https://culture.org/the-sentence-is-a-lonely-place/

>>20988024
Doesn't it make your story bland?

>That's a dragon, like every other dragon prior

If you want to make your world have something of it's own, try to imagine what a lich is in your imagination and describe it.

Otherwise, just hop-on d&d or something, and write strictly in an already prepped universe

>>20987995
When I say that I'm not giving an ultimatum on perfect flow. I just don't want to read some honorary ESL talking down to me about American politics.

>>20988037
I have no clue. I thought if you call something a dragon but describe a bear, you'll get bashed by fantasy readers for subverting too much.

>>20988051

That's quite an extreme example.

In one book I have read (can't find the English title) dragons were described catlike in nature. That made them stand out for me a bit.

In the Witcher, Three Jackdaws Borch was a shapeshifting dragon who did things for shits and giggles basically.

>>20988055
Okay I think I got you mean. I'll just toss a mask on him like a ninja.

Thoughts on the new OP?

>>20987859
I was diagnosed myself earlier this year. I am in my thirties. I had always wanted to write good stories, poems. I have my own taste in literature--I know what I like to read--and I have accumulated certain things in my life that I have always wanted to put to some sort of work. I never did anything, of course. But the last four weeks have been the most productive of my life. Now I write every day, even on the days that I do not want to and wake up feeling hopeless. Often those days are the most productive. Yesterday I finished the first work I have ever done of any decent length, a short novella/novelette of 19k words or so. It took about six days to write, which I find to be miraculous after thirty years of never trying, in earnest, to be the writer I wanted to be. I take 20mg of methylphenidate, 3 times a day, or how I feel like it. It helps very much, though I am not immune to distraction and still examine each day and see so much time wasted that could have been better used (4chan remains a distraction. I have rewritten this post to you a few times instead of working. I will get to my work once I have this out of my system though). But it is good because I am moving forward now at last, doing the things I want to be, being the person I want to be, in the small ways I can accomplish things.

>>20988059
And a nice pair of socks.

For example, they could have been on his trail because plants wither as he passes. Or he is only vulnerable during this specific time of day

>>20988060
anything that isnt old op

>>20988072
Similar age, same drug, but 30mg daily for now. As mentioned, I think about increasing the dosage.
Send over what you have written, I'll gladly go through it.

Post a prompt.

>>20988104
Equinestration.

>>20988109
I don't know what this means but I'm vetoing this prompt. I'm the only one allowed to write about horses.

>>20988148
write about the life of a therapy horse

>>20987764
I just had a revelation.
I always see people complaining and marking down anything that contains swearing or coarse language.
This is regardless of any other content the work contains.
Now to balance the scales, if something has people under life threatening or stressful situations but does not contain expletives?
Half a star it is.

>>20988060
terrible, put all the old links back they were there for a reason

>>20988104
from 3am epiphany

"Write a first-person story in which you use the first person pronoun (I or me or my) only two times--but keep the I somehow important to the narrative you're constructing. The point of this exercise is to imagine a narrator who is less interested in himself than in what he is observing."

Then he explains:

"The people we tend to like most are those who are much more interested in other people than themselves, selfless and caring, whose conversation is not a stream of self-involved remarks (like the guy who, after speaking about himself to a woman at a party for half an hour says, 'Enough about me, what do you think about me?'). I'm not trying to legislate only likeable characters or narrators. I use the example of successful social selves above to give an idea of what is needed in successful fiction. Another lesson you might learn from this exercise is how important it is to let things and events speak for themselves beyond the ego of the narration."

>>20988171
>people complaining about swearing
those fucking snowflakes

>>20988060
Love it, exactly what is needed with all the crap/FAQ dumped into a pastebin.

Thanks for taking the initiative to fix it

>>20988184
>can't open a link

>>20988203
why is everything in a pastebin no one is going to look at

>>20988191
The problem with swearing is it doesn't lend itself to literary flow.
"What a big dumb bear."
"Fucking shit man, yea big bear alright."
"That damned mother fucker should have thought twice."
"For real bitch ass box nood mother fucker nigga."

Pointless dialogue

>>20988197
>>20988184
>>20988060
I would add back the author's pastebin at the very least. Just so we can slowly grow out shitty library. May help an anon get a sale

>>20988212
Agree.

Most of the time, characters swear to have them look "tough". Teenage fantasy novel tough

“The elves in the green hill are happy now that the sun has gone down,” said Thora.

“Oh—are they?”

“Don’t you know that elves love darkness?”

Mogens smiled.

“You don’t believe in elves, but you should. It is beautiful to believe in all that, in gnomes and elves. I believe in mermaids too, and elder-women, but goblins! What can one do with goblins and three-legged horses? Old Mary gets angry when I tell her this; for to believe what I believe, she says is not God-fearing. Such things have nothing to do with people, but warnings and spirits are in the gospel, too. What do you say?”

“I, oh, I don’t know—what do you really mean?”

“You surely don’t love nature?”

“But, quite the contrary.”

“I don’t mean nature, as you see it from benches placed where there is a fine view on hills up which they have built steps; where it is like a set scene, but nature every day, always.”

“Just so! I can take joy in every leaf, every twig, every beam of light, every shadow. There isn’t a hill so barren, nor a turf-pit so square, nor a road so monotonous, that I cannot for a moment fall in love with it.”
What do you guys think of this? Is this what you would read? I personally love it. The talk about nature and beauty and the vitality of it all. I don't relate much to Thora's view of nature, but her love of it really resonates with me. And so does Mogens'. The beams of light flowing softly through leaves on a summer day—some seeping through a maze of apertures between twigs and branch—fall so steadily upon the summer floor. There's really movement in it all. In the leaves, in the reflections, in the stillness.

>>20988212
>"Dude, have you seen that dumb ass zom,bie bear? Walked right into the fucking trap, Could hear it snap from five miles away!"
>"Wanna check it out, dude? We got like until sun down. Get 'im the bullet?"
>"Ah shit, why not, not like it is gonna run anywhere."
>They walked along the beaten track, their boots leaving deep marks in the mud.
>"Shit dude," Sneed hissed between his teeth, pointing at the trap, "oh, shit."
>"Fuck man," Thuck pressed his gun against his chest looking around in panic.
>"Fuck, fuck, we gotta go back, like right now, dude!"
>The woods grew darker around them and through the bushes they could hear a feral growl. They were alone, the zombie bears' leg still stuck in the trap, but the rest of him nowhere to be seen.

>>20988148
It means televised lethal injection by horse.

>>20988209
Why should everyone have to scroll past the same generic 2,000 characters describing pros and cons of self pub and links for anime writing that don't apply to them EVERY SINGLE THREAD. The people who care enough to try will still read it in a paste in and the retards that spam their first 500 words of unproofread anime drek weren't reading it regardless of format.

>>20988215
I'm cool with this too. Also I think adding Pullum on Passives could be good since there isn't as much space constraint: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kcbHKbvwCnU

>>20988243
With some context, it's a good dialogue.
If the entire book was written like this, I'd smash my face into a wall.

>>20988209
If people ignore the pastebin why wouldn't they with a heap of links?
>>20988197
I should've done it sooner
>>20988215
alright

>>20988276
>Why should e-everyone have to BOOHOO
cry more retard. stop changing things no one in the thread agreed to. doesnt matter if someone is anime writing, writing porn or a manifesto its still writing all the same and we will try to mold anons here into writing good regardless of what topics and subjects.

>>20988243
Would read. What do I read to start writing dialogue like this? Already got through last of the mohicans, though in the beginning it really intimidated me

>>20988288
its for accessibility. if the answer isnt immediately in their face then the less likely an anon would go and read the pastebin.

>>20987946
>But in a novel of 100k words I can flip to any single page and read what I wrote months ago with satisfaction
That's how you know it's trash. You're not getting that published.

>>20988295
The Anime Writer is immunized against all insults: one may call him amatuer, fan-fiction tier, a Royal Road pay-pig pleaser, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him an Anime Writer and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: "I've been found out." Of course the Anime Writer is a writer too. None of us has ever doubted it. But a flea is also an animal. But not a very pleasant one. Since a flea is not a pleasant animal, we have no duty to protect and defend it, to take care of it so that it can bite and torment and torture us. Rather, we make it harmless. It is the same with the Anime Writer.

>>20988311
By that logic, nothing short of giving every advisory book and video to these people on an automated projector will save them. I'm all for accessibility—it's why I set the image to "Writing General" in-black-on-yellow—one extra click isn't a hurdle for people ready to write.

Make sure you describe those columns properly!

>>20988184
nice argument you fucking idiot

>>20988410
make sure to describe fucking pillars in the opening scene to save me some time

>>20987816
What?

>>20987907
am working on my first book. i like the plot and the characters, but i'm sure "the writing isn't there" quite yet.
am thinking about, after i'm done with the first draft, rewriting the entire book just for practice.

Faith

O may I be a madman,
weathering a tempest atop a cliff,
Only grasping a stick stuck barely in the ground.
For the winds pull the grass,
Rips clothes, cocoons my very person,
And armies of grey whales forbode overhead.
And yes the thunder sounds
And yes the thunder does sound

Behold the voice of god,
It sounds, by Jove how it sounds
In the “bangs” “gotchas” and hurrying, running feet
For the lads took the hill
Took positions and made shouts, directive.
So wind would then howl, and the leaves gently fall
And they stuck stick guns in the ground, one and all.

>>20988543
Do you want an editor? I'm an editor. I just finished another novel for someone, actually. I'm mostly good at dialogue, though

tfw doing a 4 month intensive workshop and the published author leader just told everyone to do trigger warnings and content warnings and to be careful with period pieces as they can be racist and sexist

>>20988614
It's shit. I'd say try again but that's not going to fix anything.

>>20988660
Hope it was free.

>>20988677
university

>>20987816
>all the queries passed because genre unclear
but then how to experiment...?

>>20988665
What’s shit about it

>>20988660
Oh... There goes my Chinaman story

>>20988307
Probably through immersion, and copying down phrases you enjoy and are inspired by. But perhaps actually being as such. Also, that isn't my writing. It's from "Mogens and Other Stories"; it's one of my favorite books.

>>20988705
There's a lot.

>>20988874
We’ll please give some details so I can improve

>>20988873
>Also, that isn't my writing.
gathered as much from your saying you love it
>It's from "Mogens and Other Stories"; it's one of my favorite books.
thanks for the rec, I'll check it out

>>20988646
free?
the only way i'd take on a 4chan editor is if i didn't have to pay

>>20988962
no i'm like an editor editor as a job if you need a guy

should you get an editor for your first book, even if you plan to throw it in the trash?

>>20989088
I shouldn't, maybe you should though.

>>20988614
My question would be are you purposely emulating old style poetry and if so why?

>>20989120
I don’t know. I’m trying to find my style and write what I think is good. Most of the poetry I like is old shit like Keats, yeats, wordsworth and others so yeah I’m going to try to emulate them a bit, but I don’t want to just copy what they did. If my poetry is bad, it’s bad, but I do want to improve as I don’t think It’s all completely devoid of potential

>>20989032
lmao

>>20989134
i also do this with my poetry, and i think it's a fine way to improve. there's nothing wrong with emulation; a lot of the dialogue in moby dick is obviously emulating shakespeare

Rude

A group of lovely people
Young and virulent, old and feeble
Not a word exchanged
Even though all was arranged

An glance away from the glowing screen
It took more than shouts to intervene
A shout to one would be rude
Ignoring each other, the model of rectitude

>>20988614
Not bad

>>20989169
Damnit two shouts. It's all ruined toss that garbage of a poem in the trash

>>20989177
unironically though. poetry fags need to fuck off to their own general.

>>20987764
posting idea here because the writing general is schizoshit

>HAW(Human Assault Weapon)-000, prototype bioweapon with unbelievable regenerative abilities, resistant to low-caliber rounds, and beyond peak human strength with the ability to lift things several times his weight
>Product of Prometheus Pharmaceuticals
>Goes rogue very first test mission to dismantle the company as to hide his existence from the world
>Destroys other, more refined experiments than him from subsidiaries
>Ending is him meeting the CEO: a former mercenary turned investor who striked it big when traditional money went under in favor of crypto
>is actually HAW-000's human genetic baseline, making him for all intents and purposes his father, which is why people think he looks vaguely familiar
>have a civil chat about the nature of humanity, existence, and instincts before mr. prototype kills him
i really liked the thing-thing games

>>20989207
This IS the writing general, schizo.

>>20987857
Stagnant writing. Sentences don't read into each other.

>as wild berries
>as droplets of water

Don't do this. Irritating writing


The beginning is like you are trying to construct something told by a town crier to a crowd of expectant listeners. It is boisterous, but relies too much on a lyricism and inflection you have in your head, and can't get on to page.

>>20989207
Also, that's basically a plot for Ruiner...

because i am hopelessly in love with this famous girl, i was disdraught and sad. so I wrote a second person one shot in 2000 words from a chance meeting to a proposal. now i feel spent, but i want to write it better, to make it more real. or write a huge book just so that i can read it and live in it. do you guys understand me or am i just a shizo

lads I have an idea for my new novel... I've sent a query to my agent and he said he can't wait for me to write it... what do you think?

>HAW(Human Assault Weapon)-000, prototype bioweapon with unbelievable regenerative abilities, resistant to low-caliber rounds, and beyond peak human strength with the ability to lift things several times his weight
>Product of Prometheus Pharmaceuticals
>Goes rogue very first test mission to dismantle the company as to hide his existence from the world
>Destroys other, more refined experiments than him from subsidiaries
>Ending is him meeting the CEO: a former mercenary turned investor who striked it big when traditional money went under in favor of crypto
>is actually HAW-000's human genetic baseline, making him for all intents and purposes his father, which is why people think he looks vaguely familiar
>have a civil chat about the nature of humanity, existence, and instincts before mr. prototype kills him

>>20989255
This basically what Fitzgerald did in all his stories.

>>20989255
Yeah I can relate but I'm not very good.

>>20989255
No anon we all have waifu fantasies. I once wrote three novellas of waifu fantasy horror in my younger days.

>>20987964
90% percent of the internet is repetition, anon. Do your part!


>>20988243

Why have the second character? All they are is a vessle for the first to spout shit, and spout shit themselves. They aren't conversing it is like a person assuming schizophrenia as a way to be interesting, to force some inner conflict, but they are in complete inner agreement and alignment

Rewrite it as a monologue, give yourself a challenge. Rewrite it as a letter to someone.

>>20988614
Kind of nice. Bombastic. I like the armies of whales overhead as a way of looking at the clouds.

The stanzas are very loosely connected and it took a while for me to get them together, but not through a process I found satisfactory. I had to force a lot of interconnection that wasn't given, and made the poem fail within me. Mainly it was the transition from the first to the second stanza that were too separated

>>20989169
>Even though all was arranged
what was? A shared train trip is all arranged but people aren't rude for not talking

>An glance
Ayyyyyyyyyy

Without the context of the arrangement this has no guts. Last line is too forced

>I used to see 1000 word stories as impossible to write
>Then this barrier went up to 2000
>Then 3000
>Then 5000
>Then 15000
>Now every story is painfully long
I've been told my novels are well-written but boring. How do I write more like Grisham and Koontz? I don't want to be a fag lit professor who writes 1000 page novels about victorian toiletry merchants, what do I do?

>>20989302
Introduce stakes earlier. Give your characters a time limit. Make them have one clear goal

I want writing to make me happy and fulfilled.
but when I write sometimes i only put my energy on the page and when im done all i see is wasted time
sometimes i put my feelings into the page but the words are bad
sometimes i put hard work, and plot out, and then write, then edit, and it is good, but my mind is bored and there is no magic
but sometimes i sprint out hundreds of words in a burst of creativity, often the writing is not very good.
i wish i were one of those that write, and feel the same as when they are reading, a fullfillment and joy from the heart.
all i feel is more misery and pain and anxiousness and i want to burn it, and write it again so that i can burn it in the fire again
then i drink and i smoke, and i fall into my bed at 5am at night
wake up 9 to go to work, and the misery continues
sometimes i wonder if my yearning to write is a blessing or a terrible curse,.

>>20989302
Get a good editor

>>20989219
I see what you mean. I'll rewrite the beginning and make it more direct, maybe that'll help. But I'm always afraid of the show don't tell advice I get as well.

I looked on a gravestone worn and weathered -
No epitaph inscribed the mildewed rock.
It laid on untamed patch of sun-kissed grass
Beside a diffident and gentle flock.
Sombre sheep in meadow bowed their heads low
When suddenly I heard a caw – the coming of a crow.

It perched upon a gargoyle’s snout
Whose granite gaze once mocked the feeble stone
And it let out a magnificent cry –
A touching eulogy to him unknown.
Seaton Morris: an operative, perhaps?
Or lonesome hunter, specialised in traps?

Impossible to say; preposterous to know:
How did Seaton go through life without leaving scent?
But in this question, I found an answer well.
If life was truly lived, what cared he how death was spent?
The graveyard’s potted tulips long withered away
But on Seaton’s bare tomb this thought forever stay.

>>20989302
I can do it. What's your email address?

>>20989361
Do what?

I'm going to keep writing shit, post it on here, rewrite it, post it on here until it stops being shit!

>>20989423
That's the spirit anon, keep it up

My main villain's central philosophy when it comes to life is hard to put into words. It's only really explainable if I put it through the context of a series of events.
Basically, there was a species of highly advanced lifeforms who possessed all manner of varied and wonderous abilities. With these powers and a lot of intelligence they built a perfect society. And he single-handedly killed them all because he absolutely found them disgusting for a simple reason: They didn't use their strength to it's fullest extent. He considered them wastes of skin and nothing but unneeded waste on the planet for not using their incredible combative skills due to being a society of borderline pacifists.
Can someone help me word this philosophy?

Mosstreader once had a sister. She had the zigzag teeth of a wildcat and was a savage on the harpsichord. And what else. The night she fell in the lake and he hauled her out all slithery while she gurgled up water like laughter. Her dress was a soggy translucent skin, and for Mosstreader it was agony to look and it was agony not to look.

Mosstreader knows that the fathers in the town have narrow rooms full of dead sisters on the upper floors of their handsome timber homes. They keep the rooms secured with big iron chains and clever locks. Sometimes he can see a dead sister's leg crammed up against a high window, or a curtain drawn to conspicuously conceal dead, rigid sisters stacked up to the rafters.

And Mosstreader's problems don't end when he leaves the town's outer walls. He crosses the streams and walks along the wooded ridges -- way down below, the roofs of the churches and trading halls look like reddish kindling -- but unfortunately he's never alone.

For example, there will be the man named Hunkel leaning on his cane. Hunkel is in the service of von Ollener, but here on the ridge he's at his leisure. He picks a spot of soil, clears the leaves with his boot, and jabs his cane into the ground with a grunt of strain and pleasure. Mosstreader's seen him do it many times. Then he leans, but he is never satisfied with his spot, he despairs at the inadequacy of his spot, and he soon goes off searching again.

Or the widow Veldetter, whose dried-out black dress catches at the thorns and the twiggy nests of rodents. A man visiting town once told Mosstreader a despicable lie about her, which the man found so funny that his face became swollen with blood, and when he lifted the mug of beer to his lips there was a glazed clay face on the mug laughing too.

It was growing late. Mosstreader wasn't following Veldetter; they were only walking the same way. When Veldetter turned to walk down the ridge, Mosstreader decided he wanted to go down. When she took the bend through the nettles he hadn't noticed before, he figured he'd see where it led. For a time he couldn't see her through the dead wood, then she appeared small and black descending into a hollow ahead of him.

It was like a great earthen bowl. Pieces of pillar, sickly with lichen, showed where there used to be a wall. Veldetter, sitting on a stone, took a notebook from her bag and laid it open on her lap. On each left-hand page was a list of dead sisters, and on each right-hand page was a list of corresponding tortures that Veldetter would instruct the fathers to inflict on them. She began to write.

Mosstreader had been called many names over the last few long years, but he knew he was not a coward. And when a town festers with injustice, down to its invisible roots, a man must act. He felt in his pocket and his hand found the pocket knife he had carried since he was a boy. Veldetter heard the rustle and looked up from her poetry.

>>20989423
You'll die of old age first.

>>20989453
Juvenile. Scrap it now.

>>20989453
That's Pillarmen from JoJo

>>20989453
>Can someone help me word this philosophy?
No it's stupid.

>>20989454
>Mosstreader
ffs anon

>>20989494
I only wrote this because I had the sound of 'mosstreader' stuck in my head.

>>20989518
Well I'd like you to apologize.

>>20989454
I honestly have no idea what was going on in the first paragraph

>>20989494
How is it stupid?
>>20989483
How is it juvenile?
>>20989482
Jojo?

>>20989571
His sister fell in the lake and despite being rescued by her brother she died from water in her lungs. He wanted to look at the bare dead body of his sister and at the same time he didn't.

I appreciate the feedback. I'm trying to be less needlessly obscure.

>>20989388
edit the book

>>20989590
If you can't see why it's juvenile then I can't help you.

If I want to write a story set in the early 2000s/y2k, what should I research to give the most accurate feel for it? One of the characters I envisioned was a mall goth, because they don't make 'em like they used to.

>>20989608
No, really. Explain why this philosophy is juvenile.
It's one thing to not push your limits, it's another to not even come close to doing it in the first place.
Basically, if you're a borderline god and don't do anything with that power, you're a fucking waste and don't deserve to live.

>>20989619
Watch Malcolm in the Middle and King of the Hill

>>20989629
"why aren't people needlessly violent? why would they choose to have a harmonious society?"

>>20989650
It's more about how they're all super powerful and can do all kinds of cool shit, but they don't use it for much. Which is part of why he waged a one-man war on them. To force them to actually use their skills.

>>20989650
Stop, there's no hope for this retard.

>>20989662
>>20989650
>>20989608
It's just a guy writing a sci-fi story. Don't take it so personally.

>be in workshop class
>professor asks me (as we all sit in a circle going turn by turn) what commentary my novel is making
>I shrug and say I'm just writing a story and that all the commentary can be ascribed by the readers
>he is obviously displeased and rants about how "entertainment novels" are a plague and that we should strive for more than being basic cunts
do people really create characters thinking "this one is going to support X social movement!!!"?

Damn my images for my covers are not enough DPI for print.

>>20989667
A novel should definitely have a purpose of some sort, but what that is won't always be conducive to synopsis; sorry about your professor.

>>20989629
Because it's just Shadow the Hedgehog tier evil-for-evil's-sake dogshit. The character wants to undo utopia because its inhabitants are supposed to use their powers in a different way? A way that isn't creating and maintaining a perfect society?
Go play Final Fantasy XIV, unironically. I know that sounds like a joke but they tackle a similar motivation in a mature way.

>>20989703
>A novel should definitely have a purpose of some sort
I disagree. That's like saying a relationship has to have a purpose. You don't enter into a relationship for a purpose external to the relationship. The relationship draws you in, and you are compelled to see it through. Same with a novel: something's there, the author don't know what it is, but they know they have to work hard to hold onto it and to let it unfold, wherever it takes them.

What the fuck is a light novel and how does that differ from a Novella?

>>20989257
It is derivative of movies we’ve already seen. The man-made thing meeting it’s creator. Blade runner, Prometheus... I’m sure there are more.

The super bioweapon thing is a tired trope as well whether it takes the form of a robocop or a marvel superhero.

>>20989772
A novella is about 40-60 pages a light novel is about 60-70 a novel is about 70-1400

>>20989772
Light novels are a type of japanese YA fiction. The reading level is very low, they tend to be short, and they have lots of anime pictures.

>>20989134
Problem is that old style poetry will never get published. You have to be contemporary. If you don’t like contemporary you have to read more and learn to like it.

>>20989301
>>20987967
It was the Sans Soleil ripoff posted on the last thread

>>20989788
I’m fine with some of it not being published but yes maybe I should try writing some contemporary stuff because yeah it might atleast make some money. I’m still very much a beginner poet obviously so I’m hesitant to publish just yet. And for the record I do like some more contemporary stuff but it’s just not my favorite

>>20989301
You know it's an excerpt from a book, right? I didnt write that; I'm just sharing it.

>>20989735
Yes. If you have all kinds of clearly combat-based abilities and refuse to use them out of pacifism, you don't deserve to exist to begin with because it makes you an oxymoron

>>20989828
You're fucking retarded mate. Stick to watching your animes, you will never be a writer.

>>20989828
Write your anime shit and keep it to yourself.

>>20989847
Don't be rude anon, come on. You can feel his spark, I love it.
>>20989453
Ok, center yourself. I agree with the crit but just give it some thought. Where does this philosophy come from? I don't think a person reacts like that.
What is it that you WANT to keep?

>>20989847
>>20989854
How is it stupid? If every single member of your species possesses unique and incredibly powerful skills but doesn't use them and instead uses the minimum effort to build a utopia, you've wasted your potential.
Like, just one of them has the ability to generate limitless electricity and they don't even use it for anything.

>>20989862
BORING.

Guy writing story about the mysterious eggs here's what direction I'm thinking of taking the short story:
>MC finds a bunch of mysterious eggs
>They hatch and finds it's a weird race of humanoid like people who can build civilizations really, really fast
>Half the story is pretty much MC torturing the species while trying to discover more about them with what limited knowledge he has of them
>Eventually tells his anthropologist friend about the creatures, the creatures decide they like the anthropologist better since she tried to save and start building temples and effigies dedicated to her which pisses off the MC
>MC decides to murder anthropologist out of jealously
>Creatures get their revenge for doctor by swarming the MC and killing him from the inside out by climbing into his mouth firing all sorts of weapons inside him

I feel like there's been a few short stories like this before I could be wrong not saying it's original can anyone post any similar examples?

>>20989889
This is like 80% Sandkings.

>>20989862
Anime shit.

A historian and a mercenary band venture into the great old cities, what to keep? what to discard? what's history really about?

I post anything and I am ignored
Fuck all of you

>>20989940
Being ignored isn't always a bad thing. Most good things posted here don't get asspats. If you post shit you are an easy target.

>>20989883
I want you to find a flaw in his philosophy.

>>20989947
Not in my case, we know that's not the reason.

I'm the faggot writing romantic fanfiction, 3 chapters in and it already feels like a chore to keep going.
I want to go back and change a lot of shit, I'm struggling with getting into "phase two" of the romance and the prospect of getting to brass tacks and developing romance feels dreadfully boring, I keep getting ideas for other stories.

When your writing begins feeling absurd, pointless and doomed, do you just quit or do you see it through?

>>20989947
>>20989940
Ignore this idiot ass, he's a faggot that never actually post anything.

wg is sort of weird right now. i appreciate this

>>20989958
you’ve never posted your work

>>20990096
>>20989958
actually, not true. i recall you posting planescape torment fanfic

>>20990093
>>20990096
>>20990104
In almost every thread I make one anon post with nothing but writing. Not a single reply.

>>20989988
>When your writing begins feeling absurd, pointless and doomed, do you just quit or do you see it through?
It's the only thing in my life that rarely feels absurd, pointless, or doomed, even if I know when I'm writing it that it's nothing but crap, I still know I can fix it and make it amazing no matter the cost, because it means that much to me. Now if I'm on a project I know I'm losing steam on, I try to evaluate where the project is and can go, and if I think it's not worth it, I shelve it. Sometimes I come back a few years later and realize I was right to leave it to die. Other times I realize I was wrong and try to restart it.

Rank
#1782

The climb continues.

>>20990096
Stop replying to the spammer retard.

Anons, I need Help, I made a setting as a sort of Escapist Hobby in Maps and Pictures, But I can't really explore it without writing.
My idea is to just find generic prompts to make little dramatic novels which take place in the setting I'm trying to expound upon, but I've never written much of anything before outside of college papers.
What do?

>>20989947
Hmm not sure

I only give feedback when there’s hope. If it’s really bad there’s no point and I ignore it.

>>20989667
He doesn’t mean social movements. He means not entertainment. Was gatsby about a social movement? Was light in August or hamlet?

If you can’t write literature though he shouldn’t hold it against you. Most people are only interested in writing entertainment and teachers should respect that.

>>20989454
You are using the guys name too much instead of writing through his POV

>>20989330
This is based.

>>20990530
So you think my writing is hopeless?

>>20990613
At least you have writing

How are you supposed to workshop outside of academia? In college it was easy, but now living in a different town (for work) it seems fucking impossible to find anyone to workshop their stories (I'm fine with even non fiction pieces at this point).

is "enough" one syllable or two

>>20990657
are you black?

>>20990662
I should say: can I get away with pretending it's only one syllable

>>20990667
‘nuff? sure. otherwise no

How do you describe body horror?

>>20990653
>muh hypersocialization
writing's not for you bud

>>20990653
what the fuck are you saying-- it's called a 'writing group', did you seriously not know this? fuckin' retahd
try using your newfound keyword in google.

>>20989454
You keep switching tenses.

>>20990611
thanks anon

>>20989862
Humans have the unique ability to commit suicide. If you don't do it, you're wasting your potential.

>>20990914
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_suicide

>>20989858
i caught you harassing /v/ the other day. truly a menace to society

https://losetouchcompletely.blogspot.com/

some new posts on my blog, would appreciate any feedback

>>20990975
Verbal diarrhea. You should be ashamed of yourself and for asking that anyone waste a single moment of their fleeting life on this absolute liquified shit.

Wew, this video is dated.
The answer is "I saw them too". Am I right, 'singular they' bros?

how do we compete with ai? it's over, isn't it?

>>20991130
Just act like anyone that uses AI is a skilless hack and that only humans can produce "real" art.

>>20991130
is there a good ai novel generator?

>>20991217
NovelAI if you want decent and affordable, Sudowrite if you want amazing but expensive.

>>20988614
>>20989169
WHERE is the rhythm

>>20989330
>laid
lay*
very nice anon

>>20989948
>build an utopia
>waste potential
Chose one anon

Also, as mentioned that's literally the second arc of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Your main villain is a knock-off Kars. Or even edgier version of Lobo (DC Comics).

If you want to salvage it and make it less teenage angst, unironically read Jojo

>>20990749
Check Clive Barker

>>20990975
Sort of this >>20990989

There is no narrative structure. No rhythmic structure. You have not attempted to find any new ways of observing anything. You are not writing for a reader. Essentially you are filling the internet with more shit.

Was there any point to what you wrote? Did it need a public forum? Why did you think it was worth while bringing to people's attention? Treat these questions as rhetoric

>>20990749
In great detail.

There, on the high canvas,
A single sky away,
Toying with the sunlight
And wreathing the half-moon,
The curling mountains pass.
Colossi painted stray
As sentries everchanging of a secret, endless play.

Unvanquished in their might,
The lords of the monsoon,
Who tamed the winds above,
Whose rumble shakes the soul,
Whose tones are men's delight,
'Neath golden plenilune.
Aloof, undawdling wights bestride the hillock and the dune.

The plumage-twins of doves,
Of chaffinches and crows,
Who creep through morning vales,
And evening crags becloak.
Their cotton water-gloves
Slip playf'lly o'er those
Who, never gifted flight, still grasp the blue from far below.

Look up! Upon the gale
Those man-o'-wars, blood-soaked,
Embrace the dying Sol.
Behemoths clad in silk,
One instant great and pale,
Then passing skyline's yoke,
Hued rose and lilac, sailing far beyond the artist's stroke,

Who sits beneath, his hair besqualled, and swirls his brush in sweet cloud-milk.

>>20987764
How do I write like Bradbury?

>>20991300
Read Bradbury

>>20991130
Easily. But you need a good imagination. In terms of competing against AI on its terms, that battle was fought with the television, and we lost. Get ready for even deeper personality conflict.

>>20991300
Write Bradbury.

>>20991300
Tell an AI to write like bradbury.

>>20991130
>how do we compete with ai? it's over, isn't it?
this is why i ask/am depressed,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsfzS4T8mf0
while this isn't writing, these same ai are being taught to do so.
and when you consider the popularity of things like YA romance and litRPG.. and why. things are looking bleak.

Getting my covers done lads, things are moving slowly along. For the full cover paperback spread you need your page count though and I'm having to reformat my entire 315k word manuscript into 6x9" but then also trying to figure out what I need for bleed for a few full page images which is a pain in the ass. Will be worth it to have it done right though.

cuckshit and roastieshit are not good writing

>>20991516
what the fuck are you on about?

>>20990505
>>20990505
Read novels set in a range of geographic places. You can also watch Kino's Journey, a light anime that focuses more on the setting than anything else.

>>20991793
>>20990505
Around the World in Eighty Days by Verne?

Have you improved this year? My output has increased a lot, I'm definitely finishing the novel's final draft before November. Plus I have actually been writing short stories once a week now. So far the shorts are mostly bad, but it feels way better to navigate other ideas instead of feeling trapped in the solitary novel cage, if you know that feeling.

WRITING PROMPT PLEASE, ANYONE?
>>20991811
Only started ~6 weeks ago, but all I've been doing is learning/writing. I've been BUSY.

>>20991825
Equinestration.

>>20991825
French noble during 1789 revolution

>>20991825
Rene Decartes meets Thomas Aquainis

>>20991825
skeletons in the streets

>>20991825
From a previous &amp thread idea, write a Power-tool/blue collar/hardware store themed dystopia. The genre is called PowerPunk.

>>20991811
Yes. I am not writing basic YA/RPG garbage anymore

>>20991861
Same. I had been writing scifi/horror originally because thats how it started in my head. But my passion is in litfic so I had to alter a lot. My last 4 chapters were going to be a nightmare sequence, but now I think I may go for something more Gothic. Still painful but not over the top surrealism. At least not driving the narrative. A short nightmare in the narrative could be fine.

>>20991861
I am writing a fantasy YA book!

>>20991837
>>20991838
>>20991827
i will see what i can do..

>>20991921
And there is nothing wrong about it. I am just sick of chosen ones / orphans becoming assassins / world ending villains / ancient evil bullshit. I die inside everytime MC gets "an upgrade". Like in Eragon, Name of the Wind, all those other books.
I want the world to feel grounded, even with magical fuckery, and a main character that has to use his wits, instead of macguffins.
>Here's the sword of shizzle dizzle, go and bizzle the dizzle.
>MC is a total wimp, bada bim bada boom, he's a jedi with a talking sword-girl (Words of Radiance)
>MC can't learn a single spell, bingo bango bongo, he gets a fucking dragon tattoo and becomes a magical school girl
>MC is a cripple because his mother drank some snakejuice, boom, stick this fucking magical crystal to your forehead and do a temple run

>>20989330
First half is very nice (aside maybe from the mocking of the feeble stone which reminds a bit cliched of Ozymandias but that is a quibble)

I leave for sleep
To count the sheep
Which in my mind are dancing
While little Bo-Peep
By castle keep
Sees all the knights a-lancing
And of those courtly figures
One stands above the rest
With sure and tightly held
A fiddle near his breast

O’ figure o’ so courtly
O’ figure of my mind
Do string thy nightly fiddle
And pacify mankind

O’ figure o’ so courtly
O’ figure in my mind
Pray the knight
Withdraw his fight
Thy kingdom be resigned

And then with sprightly fiddle
Let dancing sheep commence
To waltz amongst Boo-Peep and co
And jig amongst the tent

>>20990653
a lot of people join "online" writing groups

>>20990653
Workshops are shit, you need a partner whose opinion you respect. Best way? Like it or not, volunteer to read people's stuff. You're not reading it for them (though do help them) you're reading them like auditions to be your partner.

>>20991837
>>20991838
>>20991827

"Félicitations, Thomas— Pardon, Master Thomas Aquainis." Said Decartes, as he struggled to catch up to Thomas, who was hurredly making his way up the cobblestone street.
"'Master Equines' will do, thank you." said Thomas
A brief pause from Descartes, before continuing his hurried walk “And none too soon, given the building unrest. Say, this street is strangely quiet—"
“Yes, yes, they had called for beheadings. Have you witnessed their ghastly devices?" Said Thomas. "Savages.”
Descartes while trying to keep pace “Precisely, and for this I fear we don't have much time.”
“We? I have duties expected of me, especially now more than ever. But I do intend to put a stop to it."
“Yes, of course. What all does this new role of yours entail?"— just as Descartes asks, they round the corner to an intersection, and are alerted to the sound of a mob. “Oh, dear. We must—"
“Come along now” Said Thomas.
Looking to where Thomas was leading him, Descartes showed some relief “Ah, the mounted guards. They ride such magnificent beasts."
“Don't they!” Thomas swings to face Descartes, eyes wide in excitement.
Descartes, taken aback “Y-yes.” Shooting a glance back towards the mob that was now closing in. “We really must get going."
“Indeed.” Thomas gently puts his hand on Descartes back and steers him ahead and towards his guards.
The guards grabbed Descartes to assist, just as the mob formed a half circle around them.
“Now now,” Said Thomas, facing the crowd “As a man of the church, I want nothing but to appease my people. But we can not go around, lopping off noble's heads. No—" Making a signal to the guards.
“We put Descartes before the horse."

>>20991811
My project management is coming to a hedge in the form of publishing out a novel I'd worked on on and off for about four years I suppose at this point. I finished the raw manuscript last October and since have been editing and getting readers on it and now finishing up covers and stuff. I've already started the next projects related to it cause I figure I might as well get it all out before moving onto all the other stuff in My Documents.

>>20992036
Heh.

>>20991987
I like this a lot

>>20991962
>he gets a fucking dragon tattoo and becomes a magical school girl
>he- magical school girl
well, that sounds actually interesting, world with magical sex change, by getting a full body dragon tattoo

>>20992036
This is rather odd to read. Not because it's bad or anything, but because I'm pretty sure Descartes was a convalescent for most of his life? Right?

>>20992087
Interesting, hadn’t heard

>>20991962
>>20992036
Theyre not even talking about their philosophies and huge fuckeries.

How do you plan out plot, events and characters? What's the best way?
Can't be "and then x happened and Y and Z" or "X character biography and notes"

>>20992124
https://philipp.truebiger.com/three-act-structure/

>need to convert docx to pdf and maintain formatting somehow

sum1 pls help

>>20992134
What always makes me sad about modern books on writing is that they resort to using popular movies as their examples—even when they're talking about writing books. I get that it's a mark of the times, but even being reminded of that is depressing.

Hello /wg/, Hell-Anon checking in. I've been making massive progress with solving the latter portion of my story. I hope everyone is doing well.

>>20992147
pop the file to google docs, and download as pdf

>>20992147
You can literally save as pdf in word.

>>20991962
If you stray way from power fantasy, readers.of that genre will critique it's boring

>>20992167
I'm using Libre.

>>20992161
Will give'er a go.

>>20992087
>>20992116
Lol! It was a stupid joke
>>20992048
Anon gets it. I appreciate u

>>20992171
I don't know anon. For me, power fantasy is straight out boring.
When I read Tales from the Meekhan frontier. North. I was enticed by the idea of soldiers led by a smart commander fighting with mages and other magical inbreds. It was fun to watch them go against tough odds and come out on top. Then in the second part of the book, South, there were sword-dancers, desert devils, and world ending bullshitery with magical girls popping out of nowhere... I dropped the book on the spot.

>>20987857
I like this. Could use a better opening though. Post more of the first chapter. I want to know what they did with the lich.

>>20992161
>>20992178
Actually weirdly hitting "Download as PDF" in Google Docs doesn't nothing. Huh. Wonder what's fucking up on their end.

>>20992225
It instantly starts the download. You do not chose the file destination. Check your folders if it's already there.
Else, maybe your browser blocks the popup

>>20992238
Nah, just googled it and found out that Google Docs only allows up to a certain file size to be downloaded as PDF. However, weirdly enough, if you go to Print then you can fuck around in print options and get it saved as a PDF.

Now I get to see how KDP's upload process and formatting fucks up the PDF.

>>20992268
>fucks up the pdf
I uploaded a script in DOCX format, which messed up the print-copy, I changed it from DOCX to PDF, and it showed up alright in the preview
you also have to consider that if the print has issues, it could be the print shop's fault

For those of you trying to get traditionally published, how do you go about reducing your novel's word count? My urban fantasy book's 115,000 words, but I hear a lot of agents are outright ignoring debuts over 100,000. I've been working on cutting it down, though I keep finding things I want to expand on, instead.

>>20988060
Please have atleast some links and resources, christ. It definitely needed some tidying before but you've thrown everything to the wayside. I liked the lectures and the book recommendations on Craft. The Self-publish versus traditional publishing bit was unnecessary imho.

>>20992349
please excuse my autism, I hadn't noticed the pastebin link.

>>20992316
Surprisingly it didn't, however the real nightmare is that when I had to copy without formatting to get the thing into a .DOCX with proper 6x9 layout (that was another hour of troubleshooting), I forgot that would also undo every instance of italics in the entire document. So now I get to sort through hundreds upon hundreds of pages comparing to the source document, trying to find every time a sound effect word is used, every time a character's thoughts are represented in italics, etc, and italicize them again.

Oh well, gives me something to do.

>>20992343
Break it up into multiple books. Fuck'em. They'll be happy to sell more books.

Let me know if this is shit.

The echo of musket fire rang through the small St Lucian village. The stench of gunpowder was rife and one's senses were deadened by the war cries of both friendly and foe. All of the wooden shutters through the town were pulled closed and doors reinforced shut, except for a single dwelling in the centre of the fatal scuffle. “Where is he? He should’ve been back by now.” An elderly woman, whose blood had been on the island for many generations, stood peeking out of a small slit in her window frame. A chaos she had seen before. “That boy is going to get himself killed out there.”
“He could be held down somewhere ‘til the fighting stops.” Spoke a scrawny child from the darkness of the home.
“Daniel I told you to stay in your room.” The elderly woman said as sternly as one could in a whisper. “It’s not safe here.”
“I’d go out and get him if I could.” Daniel said with confidence. “He’d do the same for us.”
“You won’t be going anywhere.” The old woman stood in front of the tall wooden door with a pistol firmly gripped by her calloused and bony fingers. Daniel went back into his room and reluctantly positioned himself beneath his bed like he had been instructed to do in cases such as these. The old woman paced the floor while the skirmish outside raged on.
Not too far down the lane stood a church with a large steeple. It was built of stone and was the second strongest building on the island, behind the fortress which overlooked the village. It was barred shut like everywhere else. The people had seen this same struggle unfold many times. The rightful governorship of the resource rich island had been disputed once or twice a year for ages, but rarely did the fighting make it past the bay and onto dry land. Within the bell room of the church sat a young orphan of about twelve or thirteen years old with a sack of silver coins and a loaded flintlock pistol. There were others with him as they had failed to find refuge before the combat broke out. Women were praying with children tightly clenched to their sides and the priest, Father Mason, stood in the dusty room delivering quietly a homily of hope.
“Even Christ himself spent a day in hell. Encountering all evils of man. Enduring through great-”

A banging at the door of the church alerted everyone who had been held up in the bell room. Children who had been temporarily consoled began to cry again while their mother attempted to hush them.

Posted chapter 27.
https://www.scribblehub.com/read/436962-a-hero-among-monsters/chapter/547766/

>>20992343
I underwrite so avoid this. Normally I have to fill in details, but you might have tighten up words or be more economic on what your scenes accomplish.

>>20992343
>trying to get traditionally published
Traditional publishing at this point is going through two levels of middlemen just to have your book put right up on Amazon.com in the end. The more I see industry insiders talking about it now the less reason I see to bother with them.

>>20992457
Most books that are published traditionally are scarcely more read than indie anyways. I think the real benefit is being able to secure advances and not having to worry so much about the backend marketing etc, you just write.

>>20992412
Where is this story even going? 100+k words and no end in sight.

>>20992472
That's about right.

Pros:
>you probably get about $10k up front (minus literary agent fee of 15%)
>you don't have to dick around with formatting and shit for publishing
>you don't have to worry about getting your book into bookstores and libraries
>you don't have to worry about advertising

On the flip side, you can do all of those things yourself, it'll just take some of your spare time to set up your ISBN to go through library providers and book stores and shit, and some of your proceed go back into running ads.

>>20990613
Not sure which anon you are. Why don’t you post another excerpt?

>>20992515
brother, these web series go 500~1m+ words.

>>20992515
There’s about ten more chapters (still revising, will likely be able to kill a chapter in the process.) the finale could be accused of coming out of nowhere, but it’s been lampshaded throughout the book.

>>20992155
it's just because millions see movies while hudreds, maybe thousands read books.

>>20992619
>tfw getting into a dying medium hoping for success

How would you name a land office (a position similar to castellan or royal huntsman) in a medieval European setting, which specializes in hunting down rouge mages, sorcerers, etc.
The office would be completely separate the church (that's why i'm completely skipping on the idea of inquisition) and would answer directly to the crown.
Europe has awesome titles for offices in those times:
sword-bearer, castellan, grand royal huntsman.
Even in latin they sound amazing:
iudex terrestris; incisor; aedilis

>>20992673
A Witcher?

>>20992664
You can always write a movie script

>>20992680
Sapkowski already took that one. And they were made mostly for hunting monsters

>>20992689
Could just call it a Royal Inquisitor, honestly, it doesn't have to be tied to the church to inquisit.

>>20992673
Sounds better than my story of a person trying to solve a mystery of missing coworkers

5 months in and I'm almost at 40k words. The story just reached its final arc. 250, 500 words per day is better than no word at all.

>>20992708
Sounds too pompous for my liking, plus has clear connotations.

>>20992664
>>20992619
>>20992155
The reason they use movie analogies is because every burgeoning writer is just writing a pre-screenplay in the form of a manuscript. Every single "author" is just writing their novel as an advertisement for the movie possibilities based on the novel. No one writes just to be read anymore, it's all to get that sweet sweet movie option.

>>20992711
>Your text might contain writing issues
It's ogre.

>>20992728
>Directly in service of the king but the title is too pompous

>>20992710
I'm sure your story is great anon! Mine is also a mystery/criminal-esque.
I'm basing it partially on the myth of Elizabeth Bathory, while keeping in mind that it was bullshit told by Habsburgs who wanted to fuck-over her cousin

>>20992735
This may be some authors motives but I fail to see the appeal outside of wealth. Most times, your art is shat all over by directors and scriptwriters for the sake of "making it work" for screen. Anyone who reads a book before they watch the film is usually thoroughly disappointed.

>>20992741
Mine is ya fantasy

>>20992740
Yeah, you had titles like:
>cup-bearer
>equerry
>pantler
>clicker

>Your Highness, a royal clicker has returned.

>>20992765
YA fantasy story about searching for missing coworkers? What's MCs profession?

I have been hitting my 1,500 daily word target for the last 10 days. I will finish a novel, no matter how shitty it is. Here is what I wrote today. What do you guys think?

It was usually inevitable, muggy afternoons and hot city busses always made Paul nauseous. As they lurched forward after ever red light, and green wooden bench. Today, however, he felt rejuvenated. He looked at his feet, what else could he do but laugh? It was almost comical, he thought. Over three years later, he had been promised his biggest payday, enough to buy a small shop, an initial investment to begin his real life, and instead - clear plastic garbage bags.
When Paul walked out of the prison, and to the bus station, he took one last look. It was strikingly similar in its architecture style to the school he had attended, and the office where he met his social worker each month as a teenager. He had stopped visiter her when his mother passed away, the same time he stopped going to school. His friends had a job for him, on a construction site, and without his mother to persuade him to finish his education, the choice was made for him.
He was grinning, as he left the prison, with his bags slung over his shoulder, carrying the few books, journals, and flannel jacket he had, in the transparent plastic garbage bags, awarded to him on his way out of the prison. Freedom, was enough to blunt the irony of his luggage. He had no plans for the next day, or the day after that, no obligations and no bills. Every few minutes the happiness and buoyancy he felt was punctured by the reminder that he did indeed need to make a living.
The thick grey sky hung low, as he stepped off the bus. He was in the Saint-Michel neighbourhood. He had no clue why, he had no better ideas, and for lack of a better idea he had decided that he would pay a visit to the restaurant that Penelope had worked at.

>>20992403
>The echo of musket fire rang through the small St Lucian village.
Redundant "Musket fire echoed through..."
>doors reinforced shut
awkward. nailed shut. boarded up. battened down. etc.
>fatal scuffle
Scuffles are personal fights, rarely fatal.
>The OLD woman stood in front of the TALL WOODEN door with a pistol FIRMLY gripped by her CALLOUSED and BONY fingers.
Pick one of these modifiers to keep and delete the rest.
>Women were praying with children tightly clenched to their sides and the priest
Garden path sentence
>“Even Christ himself spent a day in hell.
Three days
>Daniel went back into his room and reluctantly positioned himself beneath his bed like he had been instructed to do in cases such as these.
Generally, there are too many words. Pare down your sentences.

Also try to avoid using 'stood' and 'sat' as verbs. It's a bad habit to fall into, and one I have myself.

>>20992815

Holy shit, I read it over before posting, but I immediately see a bunch of errors.

Dont you give up. Im gonna have an entire bookshelf of books by /lit/ one day even if has to be all by me.

>>20992673
Witchfinder General

>>20992815
>>20992825

It was usually inevitable, muggy afternoons and hot city busses always made Paul nauseous. As they lurched forward after ever red light, and green wooden bench. Today, however, he felt rejuvenated. He looked at his feet, what else could he do but laugh? It was almost comical, he thought. Over three years later, he had been promised his biggest payday, enough to buy a small shop, an initial investment to begin his real life, and instead - clear plastic garbage bags.
When Paul walked out of the prison, and to the bus station, he took one last look. It was strikingly similar in its architecture style to the school he had attended, and the office where he met his social worker each month as a teenager. He had stopped visiting her when his mother passed away, the same time he stopped going to school. His friends had a job for him, on a construction site, and without his mother to persuade him to finish his education, the choice was made for him.
He was grinning as he left the prison, his bags were slung over his shoulder. He carried the few books, journals, and flannel jacket he had in the transparent plastic garbage bags, awarded to him on his way out of the prison. Freedom, was enough to blunt the irony of his luggage. He had no plans for the next day, or the day after that. He had no obligations and no bills. Every few minutes the happiness and buoyancy he felt was punctured by the reminder that he did indeed need to make a living.
The thick grey sky hung low, as he stepped off the bus. He was in the Saint-Michel neighbourhood. He had no clue why, he had no better ideas, and for lack of a better idea he had decided that he would pay a visit to the restaurant that Penelope had worked at.

>>20992673
>The inquisition*
>*not actually affiliated with the church

>>20992825
Sometimes I can check a word several times and only see something really obvious after I've posted. I noticed today, also, that I use filler words like 'really', 'just', 'certain' etc. all the time, and it does nothing for me. Grammarly helped me see some of the redundancy in my writing.

>>20992806
She's a Cop. Cops in my world are called Knights and they're more attuned to magic. Someone is kidnapping them and turning them into monsters. The MC is now on an investigation to find out who's doing these things.

My problem is trying to figure out a good motivation for the villain. Right now I have a world conquering theme going on, but that's been overdone. Revenge is boring. The only other thing I can think of is rebellion using monsters to do so.

>>20992874
not thinking about the strongest motivation of all:
Just being an asshole and ruining someone's life because you hate them; like Black Manta

>>20992859
Inquisition directly translates into detective, which would work great in context. That's a great sounding name, but I feel like the name has been used so many times, that it has lost its charm completely in modern times

>>20992826
You can buy like 20 of them today. Gardner himself takes up an entire shelf.

>>20992874
The villain should do it so he can have sex with the MC.

>>20992881
Witch-detective = detec-titch, Witch-ective, >Detect-a-witch: If we can't find your witch in 30 minutes the pizza is free

>>20992874
She is turning people into monsters because once she had a vision of a man from another dimension that would love her for who she was. She's not making monsters. She's searching for the face of a lover from another world. She just happens to be making monsters in the process, and not really giving a fuck.

>>20992850
Witchfinder is kinda cool. Witchtracker?

It's gotta be Royal something though. No one in service to the King would accept not being referred to as Royal, just like someone in service to the church would accept not being referred to as Holy.

>>20992891
>call now to get your free hex-in-a-box and a bag of frosty o'cauldrons

>>20992711
Congrats, I started around the same time and have a similar mentality (you've probably seen me post about shooting for a chapter a week). So many people fall for word count maximalism which I think burns them out or hurts their writing quality, but it works for some - just have to find your system and stick with it.

>>20992673
>Witch-hunter
>court censor
>magister magus

>>20992155
I agree but part of it is a function of how divided our society is now, and how particular book tastes arw. Movies are also far shorter. It's safe to assume 90% of adults watched all of Star Wars whereas how many people ACTUALLY read even Harry Potter from cover to cover, or Fahrenheit 451 and other supposedly required school reading? Probably less than half the population.

>>20992822
Thanks for the critiques. I'll tighten up my prose and try to be more succinct. I've got much more of the story written at this point but the beginning I knew had some flaws that needed to be ironed out.

>>20992849
Very disjointed in time and space. You start with riding a city bus as a habitual act, and then tell us that he's walking out of prison to a bus stop. (A bus he would not have ridden for years prior). Then you bring up his school, his mother's office, a construction site.Then he's leaving prison and getting off the bus.

You have to set a scene. Have him leave the prison. Describe the physical reality around him. Then have him get on a bus and stare out a window or something. At that point he can drift off into his memories about the past and abstract thoughts.

>>20992913
Ooh, I like Censor.

You stop spellcasters by silencing them, but also by -silencing- them,

>>20992913
Don't mistake word count maximalism for maximizing your output. I write 2000 words a day, because if I write more I get burnout. 2k a day is fine though.

WRITING PROMPT, PLEASE

>>20992874
world conquering is boring. maybe someone is turning them into monsters, to show the nobles/general population, that magic attuned cops are in fact dangerous and should be disbanded/inprisioned. and as there was a vaccum left by them, an external force would be brough into the country/kingdom, which would lead to more trouble.
Read into Teutonic Knights vs Poland

>>20992936
Equinestration.

>>20992885
Are you going to write a more serious stand alone novel with pro editing? Seriously, please tell me that's why you were reading Egyptian history. I dont like Call of Horror but as a fellow mentally unstable individual with idiosyncratic views I do want to see you do something better.

>>20992936
A capricious god gives a mortal an ironic punishment they don't actually deserve.

>>20992358
No worries. I'll put the descriptor in all-caps so it's harder to miss.

>>20992941
>>20992949
..am i really going to keep doing this?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/-graphy

>>20992936
you are in trenches during ww1 and waiting for sergant to command the charge

>>20992941
>decide to try out YT's clip thing last month
>10th video is a girl trying to help a horse get into the receptacle
>

>>20992941
>>20992949
>>20992963
There you have it. Make a horseshoer get fucked to death by the last horse they shoed.

>>20992937
I like this, but I don't think I have the skills to pull this off.

>>20992673
go the chad route and make it Hunter but in akkadian - Bā'iru/Bêru
go the ascended route and make it Man who Hunts Witches but in sumerian - Lusibsibshega

>>20992936
A scientist analyzes a synthetic material by Scanning Electron Microscopy. He must coat his sample in gold first. What the scan reveals he cannot believe.

>>20992913
The whole "not everyone reads but everyone watches movies" argument is irrelevant when you're writing a book for FUCKING WRITERS.

I wrote this poem today about an owl that was hooting by my window last night. How can I improve it?

Fly Athena from your verdant perch.
Show Aegis, your bronze coat unfolds.
That empyrean invention of
Pinion engineering hammered in
Hephaestus’ forge during your creation.
Tu-Whit Tu-Whoo!
Virginal mother of the Gorgons holds
Spear in your left hand, piercing the silence
Fervent Nike flutters from your right hand
She who propels all musicians to sing
With words that call out momentarily
Then disappear beneath the cloak of Erebus.

When are we going to see the next /wg/ book to be sold on Amazon?

>>20992929
Glad you like, term also has roots in the Roman office, and the there is the catholic censer to burn incense which could be some imagery to fit the office.

>>20992934
I'm not, I hit 2k words per day sometimes (I also burnout/lose quality if go over it) but my point is not to set such a high word count goal unless you're really experienced. Also a "day" could be 50 minutes of writing or 5 hours depending on the person's lifestyle and commitments which is why many noobies get misled and lose sight of the prize by favoring speed over quality/learning.

Writing a lot of words isn't the problem, people pressuring themselves to write a lot of words when they aren't ready to is the problem.

>>20993009
I'm not saying "not everyone reads but everyone watches movies". I'm saying that among readers that completion rate for books is lower due to the time commitment and what we do finish are often books the others never heard of because we don't really have contemporary cultural touchstone books that we all get the memo to read like we did 50 years ago. Probably the closest I can think of were Harry Potter and The Road.

>>20993022
Next spring, or summer if there are delays trad publishing. I dont know exactly how to shelve it but it's Southern anon's paranormal story. I know Nesmer was closing in on his next book so if he indie publishes that could be soon.

>>20993020
>How can I improve it?
Ctrl + A + Del

>>20992919
good point, I actually rearranged this scene, and it clearly made it more confusing

>>20993006
You can be 100% certain I'm going to use - Bêru for something, has a nice ring to it.

>>20992984
You can do it anon, I believe in you

>>20993037
Censor is great, I have to dive deeper into their background

>>20992919

He was grinning as he left the prison, his bags were slung over his shoulder. He carried the few books, journals, and flannel jacket he had in the transparent plastic garbage bags, awarded to him on his way out of the prison. Freedom, was enough to blunt the irony of his luggage. He had no plans for the next day, or the day after that. He had no obligations and no bills. Every few minutes the happiness and buoyancy he felt was punctured by the reminder that he did indeed need to make a living.
He headed toward the cul-de-sac, where relatives and loved ones came to pick up released inmates. In the absence of any, the city bus started its route there at 5 minutes past the hour, every hour. Paul climbed onto the idling bus and he stared patiently at the institution he had just been released from. One of hundreds of grey, cheaply constructed, two-story public buildings that dotted the country. He took one last look as the city bus moved forward.
It was strikingly similar in its architecture style to the school he had attended, and the office where he met his social worker each month as a teenager. She was nice-enough but Paul had stopped visiting her after his mother passed away. It was around the same time that he stopped going to school. His friends had a job for him, on a construction site, and without his mother to persuade him to finish his education, the choice was made for him.
Paul watched through the window as the warehouses turned into three-story apartments and the bus travelled further into the city. It was usually inevitable, muggy afternoons and hot city busses always made Paul nauseous, as they lurched forward after ever red light, and green wooden bench. Today, however, he felt rejuvenated. He looked at his feet, what else could he do but laugh? It was almost comical, he thought. Over three years later, he had been promised his biggest payday, enough to buy a small shop, an initial investment to begin his real life, and instead - clear plastic garbage bags on an empty city bus.

What do you think of it like this

>>20990850
>>20990583
But what did you think of it?

>>20993152
It's pretty bad.

>>20993152
Not that anon but better than the first one you posted.

>>20993190

ima need some constructive criticism from you

>>20993209
Sorry can't help you D'Quarius.

>>20993152
Not >>20993190
But, he was, he left, his bags, his shoulder, he carried, he had, to him, his way. And those are the first two sentences. Come on anon, you can do better than that.
One sentence after He had, he had. He felt. He headed. He had. He attended.
He-he-he-he-he.

Check out - https://www.scribophile.com/academy/an-introduction-to-filtering

>>20991962
upvoted

>>20992171
>>20992199
upvoted

>>20993272
ok this is what i needed. Fuck, its gunna be hassle to go through all my work and update it like this, but its so simple and makes it more impactful

>>20993272
>>20993323
Glad to see that link I posted is propagating.

New Bread: >>20993372
New Bread: >>20993372
New Bread: >>20993372

>>20992561
Wexler

>>20992849
I like the writing style. The narrative flow is a bit confusing though