/lit/ - Literature

>>20712086
>21

ah yes i remember when i was that young and still full of hopes and dreams. and none of them became reality. now i am in my mid 40s and i dont want to live anymore but i am also afraid of dying

and btw stop reading. its not worth it. no book is. its just mental masturbation you are doing.

I hate to break it to you but by 21 your youth is gone. You may not be a fully developed adult yet but you are an adult and have been for some time. Probably you don’t realize this because you’ve been a student this whole time and have spent the last 3 years in a debt-funded adult daycare.

This might be hard to accept but it’s good for you in the long run, because you can confront the realities of your life now while you’re young rather than having it creep up on you and pounce suddenly when you’re 30.

>>20712166
I’m reading infinite jest, should i stop and try to get girlfriend? My only relationship was with 26 year old girl who just got divorced and I didn’t even fuck her only made out couple times and then my schizo personality ruined the whole thing, only sex i had was with chinese prostitute and I couldn’t get it up. Its over man, i should probably kys.

>>20712163
I'm 20 and I don't have any hopes or dreams, what do?

>>20712173
stop reading and just start drinking and fucking prostitutes. if you are able to do it specialize on extreme fat ones or ones that only have one arm or one leg.

>>20712176
nothing.

>>20712166
same could be said about movies and music. reading is fun

>>20712198
>reading is fun

its not.

The Tartar steppe
Also dont just read, start doing shit instead.

>>20712086
>21
it's over. I'm 18 and I've already won a national poetry competition

>>20712086
you'll always be young if you keep your ambitions and curiosity alive.

>>20712166
>and btw stop reading. its not worth it.
actually no. Read if you feel like reading. Do what you like. Search for knowledge. If you eventually come to the realisation that books are useless, be it through your own experience, not the words of a total unknown through a chinese sea cocoon fetching forum

>>20712169
>I hate to break it to you but by 21 your youth is gone.
False. By 21 you're not an idiot teenager anymore, but you're still young. You're just starting to understand the adult world and its responsabilities and burdens.

>>20712173
>should i stop and try to get girlfriend?
the fact that you actually need to ask this question shows how weak your mental state is. Why not do both? If you feel getting a gf is what you need, then go for it. Don't ask permission on a korean bed-staining forum.
>Its over man
no it's not. You're living and making mistakes like everyone else. Learn from experience and do better next time.

If you want some advice. Stop listening to blackpilling cunts online. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life exactly since I don't know you, but by all means stop demoralizing yourself. That attitude wont take you anywhere.

>>20712212
i have fun reading. maybe your brain is broken

>>20712086
By 20 Arthur Rimbaud had already completed all his prose and poetry work and had given up his drug and alcohol fueled life style to get a real job and settle down.
I hope you already had your youthful experiences and left your mark on the world anon it's time to get a job and get old. Also maybe read some Rimbaud but I don't recommend it.

>>20712086
Lol nothing's gonna change faggot.
You're going to get fatter.
You're going to get balder.
You're not going to make new friends and you're going to lose the ones you already have.
You're not going to get a girlfriend.
You're not going to lose your virginity.
You're not going to leave your parents' house
You're not going to get a full-time job
You're not going to overcome your computer/internet addiction
And you're going to keep browsing 4chan

Admit you're a social defect and own it.

t. 28 year old loser

>>20712163
>ah yes i remember when i was that young and still full of hopes and dreams. and none of them became reality. now i am in my mid 40s and i dont want to live anymore but i am also afraid of dying
I'm in my twenties and have already felt like this for over a decade and a half. I don't really know why I'm writing this. It just feels futile knowing that it won't get even slightly better. Even in material terms my very low aims are infinitely outside of my reach. And what are my goals if I were to accomplish those? Suicide within my own home.

It's all such a fucking joke. Who the fuck would inaugurate this misery.

>>20712269
based

>>20712234
Young is just a relative descriptor. A middle aged man is young relative to a senior citizen. A 21 year old is young relative to most adults, but you’re still an adult. You’re no longer a youth or a juvenile and there’s no way around this. I think people make a huge mistake believing their adolescence extends to like 25 or 30. Don’t make that mistake. It’s all one long process of living and by 21 you’re an adult and you should approach your life as such.

Shiey's philosophy of age:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOC55RNd5gk

Set clear, attainable goals and do what you can right now to try and achieve them. It will only get harder to reach them when you're are working full time, and nearly impossible to do it if you ever have kids.

>>20712361
He's right but also a retarded contrarian faggot.

>>20712086
Kek, great bait, the oldfags are about to kts

>>20712234
>you'll always be young if you keep your ambitions and curiosity alive.
This is true and the big hump to make sure you survive spiritually/mentally is 30-40

If you can still feel like a real human being after 30, and still feel like your life has meaning and purpose and you aren't just a pathetic faded version of the hedonist child you were at 25 and 20, you have succeeded in life. The Romans thought life only meaningfully began in your mid 30s, when you began to be eligible to hold public offices. Until then you were a babby.

I noticed that all my more well-adjusted normie peers who were so happy and confident in their 20s basically accepted a form of early death in the 30s. It's like the trade-off that unambitious people accept in life is, you will get to live like a king in your 20s, but then you become a ghost that still has to feed itself and take shits for several more decades.

The only way out for normies is having families and children. The ideal is obviously to have both a family and to be ambitious, but if you can't have one you absolutely need to have the other.

>>20712086
touch grass instead of getting high on your own misery

>>20712354
>Don’t make that mistake
I didn't read my post again. I'm literally pointing out the different between being young and being an idiot teen

>>20712399
ultra-giga-based post

>>20712086
Whole life is a fall, brother. They say life is a journey....Yes it is a journey, but a journey towards death not even towards death but every second you're dying and everything else which is within time is also dying. There's nothing much to be gained from life and you will face disappointments at every turn. You will meet people which look to you people with strong personality/ambitions/achievements but behind the mask they're just as much of scared shitless as anybody else, they will be just good at pretending otherwise. This life is a one giant larp for significance and immortality to cope with fear of death.

Fear no one my friend, not even God for he is an old hag. Now go concur Rome in all of it's glory.

>>20712428
Then why did you take issue with my reply retard? Just clarified what was obvious.

>>20712471
I may have misunderstood you then, sorry. English isn't my first language so shit happens sometimes

>>20712086
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5sdNYu1DD0

I am 25 and my main problem is that there isn't really anything I enjoy more than browsing the internet in my free time. I don't necessarily regret the last couple years, because I have made good strides career wise, but I don't want browsing the internet to be the rest of my life. I have friends I really enjoy hanging out with, but they are in a different state now, and they only ever felt like getting together on rare occasions anyway. I have thought about joining a bowling league or trying to participate in my church more, but I just don't really have the drive to do those things even if I would enjoy it somewhat. I feel like I am distancing myself spiritually from others and that its going to make the rest of my life colder and less enjoyable. Despite being an introvert, I do enjoy genuine connections, but I have problems making those connections. I think I have issues with that probably due to me staying in my shell in social interactions until I become more comfortable talking with that person, and this is probably an effect of being bullied when I was younger for having the nerve to be an unassuming and jolly kid.

>>20712163
>>20712166
>>20712086
>>20712169
>>20712173
>>20712176
>>20712194
>>20712198
>>20712212
>>20712218
>>20712234
>>20712219
>>20712234
>>20712241
>>20712269
>>20712347
>>20712374
What can we youngfags do to get our dreams to come true?

>>20712703
>>20712682
>>20712621
>>20712498
>>20712471
>>20712464
>>20712428
>>20712408
>>20712399
>>20712390
>>20712386
>>20712374
>>20712361
>>20712354
>>20712350
>>20712347
help

>>20712682
This is likely your last chance to fix it. The time between 25 and 30 feels about the same length as the time between 23 and 25. You will wake up one day and go "holy fuck I didn't do anything."

Limit your internet use now, and it may be the single greatest thing you ever do. It's okay to use it for companionship and small things, but fucking around with no real aim is on the same level as acquiring a drug habit that eats all your time and money. By the time you realize you have to change, you'll already be burned out and feel like you've wasted too much time. "Browsing the internet" is the worst thing that has happened to humanity since TV, boomers used to just sit and watch commercials for 30% of their life and reruns for the other 70%.

>>20712086
That's funny, tomorrow I'm turning 20

>>20712176
I don't know. At least you'll never be disappointed.

>>20712712
I have every intention of doing that. I am just trying to figure out what to do that I enjoy so I don't relapse.

>>20712703
It’s hard to answer such a question. I don’t know you, your life or what you want to do, but if you want some advice, I’d say trying to figure out what you’re passionate about can be a good starter. Then, just get on your way to it step by step. Your dreams don’t need to be great things like being a billionaire or shit like that. They may be about understanding yourself, spiritual questions, art… The key is that they motivate you enough to keep moving and learning, no matter how big the outcome or if you’ll ever get to it. It’s about finding a reason to keep living.

>>20712781
I am already working towards reaching some of my goals:
Going from ottermode to actually big;
Becoming a millionaire before 35 (22 yo currently);
Becoming well read in philosophy and literature;
Learning French as my third language.

Recently, I started thinking about writing lyrics/poems to songs and selling them to artists I like, but I don't know how to get good at it - and I am sure I have no talent, kek. If anyone has any tips, I would appreciate it.

>>20712712
The second and third sentence is definitely true. I don’t know about the first.

>>20712807
You’re falling into the trap most young men fall into, which is thinking the goal is to become some sort of thing or obtain some sort of thing, when the reality you will realize eventually, whether you achieve your goals or not, is that life is fundamentally measured in moments, not dollars, not lays, not size, and not anything else. It is all one long process of DOING. You are being pulled towards an end, whether you want to or not. What you really should look for is responsibility or vocation, something worth working at or for. Because life is work, it will always be work, you will always be doing.

>>20712807
My only tip is some combination of the 80/20 rule and Hesiod's "if you just put a little on a little, it will become big" advice from Works and Days. Always remember to be putting your money where your mouth is every day, don't spend 3 years planning the perfect philosophy reading routine or another 6 months procrastinating learning French until you get motivated to find the "right" book. Every day make sure you are doing things.

It's almost (almost) always better, and less time wasted in the long run, to read the same philosophy book three times throughout your life because you barely knew what you were doing the other times and didn't really get it, than it is to wait 20 years to read it, until you're "sure" you'll get it.

Anything you don't DO, EVERY DAY, and make part of you (in a way that it isn't some future plan or goal, but a daily practice thing), you will wake up one day and realize it's too late. If you vaguely plan to learn guitar, get the guitar and start fiddling with it every day at the very least. Just put the fucking thing in your hands, do something, anything. Anything is better than having a dust-collecting guitar in your corner that your unmusical ass walks by and goes "oh yeah I remember being 23 and having dreams haha"

Other advice is always learn soft skills consciously and intentionally, whether it's at college or a shit job. Absorb as much as you can so you can put it on your resume later or build other skills from it. Master things early on and develop them, so that even in a shit economy you can always say, I'm the one guy who knows how to fix this thing everybody needs, and I know how to fix/maintain/work a dozen other things too from having worked odd jobs involving those things over the years

Random advice for any young people, if you're in college, and you're a perfectionist and you skip readings or don't engage with them because you want to do the course "right," you're overthinking. Do the course wrong and learn what you can, master the content later. Stop trying to be perfect as a 20 year old, you're going to miss concrete opportunities for vague intentions.

>>20712086
Doesn't matter, lad. All that matters is to enjoy life and have a jolly good time :D

>>20712086
lol, you're still a little baby

>>20712874
>>20712901
Thank you both! These a great advices and I will put them even more into practice. Long term goals only exist so that we can be motivated to do things right here and now, and that's what I will do. Indeed, it's not about being big in 5 years from now, it's about going to the gym today - this is valid for every single goal.

>>20712703
have a lot of small dreams

>>20712775
Walk. That's my plan. I'm just going to walk and keep walking until I lose my mind. Beats losing your mind bathing in electrons in front of the TV until you pass out like my boomer parents.

>>20712086
>>20712269
I hate that I've spent so much time on 4chan after high school and bought in to your cynicism.

In 2019 before I started going on 4chan too much I would go bowling once a week and I was asked out for a three way and then went I went to McDonalds the drive through girl told me how her shift was about to end and asked if I wanted to hang.

Then I started going on 4chan too much and I've been stuck in anxiety about my hair potentially going or how because I'm thin (and fit) girls wouldn't like me because I'm not "big"

I've seen two girls from high school this year and both invited me to hang out (it turns out one of them is going to Italy at the same time as me in August and wanted to meet up there too).

4chan is POISON!

>>20712703
Do the next thing that has to be done.

>>20712703
Nothing. Unless you were born into substantial wealth and real privilege, you won't do anything meaningful with your life. You may try, but ultimately, you're not in control. Eventually, you realize this and just let go. If all you want is sex and maybe marriage, anyone can achieve this, even the autists here. You can have kids and use them as a proxy, vainly hoping that they succeed where you failed, only to have the cycle repeat ad infinitum. Or, you suck and fuck through life, dying young with your expiring potential intact. Either way, you accomplish nothing of any real merit, prolonging a pointless existence.

>>20713381
The final blackpill

>>20713381
Bitchmade mentality. Even if existence is pointless (it’s not), wouldn’t it be still be worthwhile to pursue your ambitions? Perhaps they won’t make you a lot of money or get you women (unless that is your true ambition), but they will lead to a happy life. I owe all of my growth, experiences, friendships, and romances to the fact that I’ve chosen to pursue my honest passions. I honestly hope you (and other anons) can find your calling and stop using your disgusting self pity to jerk off your dysfunctional mentality

>>20712163
>>20712166
At least have the self respect to kill yourself.

>>20713342
How handsome are you tho?

>>20713774
>tfw i have always been treated like a ghost

>>20713342
You're here forever newfriend

Its over

>>20712086
I am old enough to be your father. Thankfully, neither of my kids are frogs.

>>20713774
I am an average looking white guy (5' 10'') with pretty eyes and am not fat. I also had an 8/10 personality before I regressed from internet use.

The only problem is that many girls in my area are "activists" which is an annoying type of personality to interact with. I'm also chaste and am saving my virgnity for marriage.

>>20714534
>5' 10''
There was never a chance.

>>20712163
>i am in my mid 40s
hilarious

Sometimes the answer lies not in books. This answer is within.

>>20714760
it'll be even funnier when you get there

>>20712086
the older I get the more I want to beat the shit out of children lamenting their lost youth

>>20712086
I have good news for you, anon: you don't become who you are until 28, which means you have five-ish years to start making good habits, being outgoing, growing a social circle, passionate interests, and being productive before you settle into your ways.
I envy the young. But that's the way it goes: you don't know what you've got until it's gone, and so it goes with youth, time, friends, health, etc. Enjoy it, anon. You'll be envying someone just like you some day if you don't start living.

just dont get fat and everything will be ok

>>20712086
Youth as a social concept is overrated. It's great for physical health, but being an independent adult MAN is a million times better than being a boy. Manhood is what every kid yearns for as he grows up, and thus far I have loved it despite all the difficulties that come with it.

>>20714534
>I'm also chaste and am saving my virgnity for marriage.
This doesn't count if you're a coomer btw, which if you're here..

>>20712086
Ecclesiastes

>>20714918
pfft, I'll never get there

>>20715403
Based homie finna off hisself in his 30's

>>20712086
Moon Tiger by Penelope Lively

>>20712086
Stupid frogposter.

>>20712086
>WAAAAH, I'S TURNIN' TWENTY-ONEERINOS!!!!
Jesus fucking Christ. Come back and talk to me when you're thirty one you detestable little pussy.

You've got a little under a decade left, shut the fuck up.

>>20712086
this website is wasting your life. leave it and never come back

>>20715017
This quite honestly, I'm finally morbidly obese at 31 and I KNOW I'll never get rid of the shit. Exercise is excruciating torture at this point.

>>20715412
if you still think we're ever reaching 2040 yngmi

>>20715477
how does that even happen? I've never been over 24 bmi even back when I was unfit so I'm genuinely intrigued

At 15, you think of your 20
at 20 you think of your 25
at 25, you think of your 30
at 30, well this one is big, you think of your 35 and 40
at 35, you think of your 40 and 45
at 40, you think of your 50
at 45 you think of you 55 and 60

until 25 you think about your pleasures ahead

at 25, you wonder whether hedonism or suicide is all there is to life, but you fail to find an escape, especially to find a solution on your own. So why not do what everybody else does, after all, it cannot be so bad if so many people do it?
But of course, you know that you are too scared to pull off suicide and even worse, you hear that ''suicide is for pussies'', plus you tell yourself that it would make your mom cry. So you stick to hedonism and try to make your life full of ''good moments''

you clearly despise to be alone
(this applies to men only, since women cannot be alone naturally)

at 30 you still have not seen anything outside hedonism, so you stick to it and strive for it.
You know that junk food and beer take their toll and you hit the gym but you notice that 25 yo men have been already to the gym for a few years already while claiming that ''they do not do it for girls, they swear''


Somehow you manage to be picked up by a girl to be her official provider during her daily life. Your reward is listening to her meaningless daily problems, especially at her meaningless bureaucratic work, and working to give her free shit.

at 35 you fully know that trying to keep being a normie is draining and requires means that you do not have, even worse, means that other people have, more or less for free or without much effort, but not you [typically for girls and housing, where the babyboomers have the power on the estate market]

at 40 you begin to think that being a normie is worth it, especially if you think that 30 something year old gf is not cucking you or is bearing ''your'' child


at 45, you wonder, just like your gf approaching 40 (but you do not know it), whether breaking up is not an option and you want to ''offer the best to your kids'', you go fantasizing about being a fullon libertarian with a light touch of leftism, so that you can justify sticking to hedonism and helping your kids, but clearly, and you are even proud of this, you stick to playing by the rules of the game of the baby boomers so that perhaps, one day, you would have all their riches

at 50, you just want to retire and see your daughter avoid marrying (whatever you put behind) ''the pleb'' but you are happy that some guy chooses to provide for her (just like you did at his age) or rather you build a sweet certitude that your daughter will do well without too much work on your side... You want your children to find a job instead of costing you money, especially the boy since boys end up too many times back to their room (for a few years). Daughters will alays manage to find a cuck providing shelters to them, free of charge.

>>20715536

at 55, After some of your acquaintances have died or been ill, You fear cancer more and more and you think that, all those years, your wife was right to be a ball breaker about pesticides on apples and salads and that she sticks to organic products.

your 60 yo wife drags you to some ''meditation learning course'' where you are taught that ''the capitalist society is wrong in making people consume more and more and happiness is just being nice to people and letting go'' and you must learn to ''follow your breath'' while crossing your legs 15 minutes a day. It hurts your knees too much to do it, so you do not do it.

You are also at peace with cucking. You even think that it is expected and that ''everybody is a cuck anyway''.

Before dying, you tell your children that it is worth it to be a normie.

>>20715536
>>20715542
Are you speaking from experience here? If not then how are you any different?

>>20715511
Fuck you

>>20715542
>>>You are also at peace with cucking. You even think that it is expected and that ''everybody is a cuck anyway''.

Subversive non-white possibly Jewish hands typed this post.

>>20715511
>how does that even happen?
Probably spends all his time on 4chan.

>>20715477
Losing weight is 90% about diet, exercise is a meme.
Intermittent fasting + no sugar and you're good to go.
>t. lost 150 pounds by walking a bit and eating less

>>20712712
Tfw spent 23-25 (prime male years for shagging about) in the scamdemic lockdown

I wish only a painful death for all the boomers. And since the vaccines thankfully have an effective utility for 6 months I know it will come

>>20712086
21 is still very young. Chances are you have barely started a trade or you are still in college. While I do recommend figuring out what you are good at and how to make a living with it if possible, try to remember that unless you are genetically cursed you haven't even hit a third of your expected lifespan yet.
>t. 30 year old

>>20712703
There are no more dreams. It's over. It was over from the start. You'll understand eventually.

>>20712086
My greatest mistake was not going to the army two years ago when I had nothing to loose. 21 is already too old. Everyone knows this.

>>20712086
>21
ahhh what it was like to be young.

>>20712703
work towards them, and step by step you'll get closer to them; you might not reach them 100% but it's the best you can do
here's a couple of examples
>I dream of being a rich banker
study business in uni, apply for jobs in the field, if you can't get them start with lower responsibilities jobs in the same field and then go up, always learn from others around you and keep pressing on
>I dream of getting out of my dirt poor country and give a better future to my children
work until you have just enough money to move and then just move to wherever else, find any job there that gives you the opportunity to sustain yourself and then keep looking for a new job in your field as you learn the language and customs and you make friends in that new strange place
>I want to become a writer
write as if your life depended on it, get some feedback from anywhere, rinse and repeat
go to literary events and meet people who are interested in the same stuff as you, read books about how to write, and write some more

>>20716709
I dream of being happy

>on Tuesday I turn 28
Feels good man, love birthdays

>>20716666
being int he army in democratic republics just means you are controlled by atheist public servants. It's a huge huge mistake.

>>20712703
33 y/o anon here. Was still quite immature in my late 20s but after studying literature working a dead-end factory job as a college drop-out I returned, got a degree and 5 years later I have a house, a car, working the job that I had wanted. I don't have to play video games anymore and I feel satisfied reading and writing, meeting new people.
While I hesitate to be overly optimistic (I think time and chance is still a big part of where we end up), I say you need to be better at identifying and challenging your beliefs. You have to right your ship. Some of these beliefs you hold because you are immature or lack experience and perspective. Be patient and work towards understanding your feelings, read more books and relate to others. I recommend bare minimum one short story a day but also try a novel a week, maybe even a poem or two a day.
You want to take charge of your dreams then you need to decide whether your goals are really what you want. Then draw a map the best you can of mid-term and short-term goals of how to get there. There's something you can work at every day. The biggest challenge people have getting their dreams is because they try to jump too high too soon and despair when they cannot do it. Do not go for the magic bullet because even if you succeed the high risk behavior will burn you in the end.

>>20717097
Do you get women?

>>20712086
I'm in HS and I've accomplished nothing yet. It was over for me before it even started...

>>20717542
LONDON

Youth has virtually no value for men. As long as you haven't destroyed your health by being a nuclear fatass you're going to be much happier as a gainfully employed/in education adult male.
Worshipping infantilization is a cope for women, whose lives collapse after like 28.

>>20717687
>19

>>20717694
?

>>20717702
He's accusing you of having 19 love affairs with beautiful young women and thus invalidating your points by the depravities of your monstrously licentious (yet impressive) libido. Shame!

>>20716666
Sinister digits

>>20717542
This but unironically, i finished highschool in online school due to the coof and spent those years on 4chan while letting the class play in the background. Now i dont know how to make new friends

>>20718522
What made you think I was being ironic? I am serious.
>spent those years on 4chan while letting the class play in the background
It was just one year for me, but I can relate

>>20712726
and now I am 20

>>20718630
RIP

>>20717542
You are delusional. Most get out of highschool without any accomplishments. Stop with this "it's over" bullshit, it's just another excuse to not even try; if you continue following this logic until the end of your days, then, yeah, it's over.

>>20718630
Happy birthday, I love you!

>>20718625
Ohh, i feel you then

>>20717285
I have had maybe 3 girlfriends in the past 4 years and a bunch of dates that went nowhere. Longest relationship was a year with a former volleyball player who was taller than me so I at least had that going. So you can count that against me if you must but life is always a work in progress so I'm not gonna mope about it.

>>20718797
That is definitely not bad

>>20715403
Based tranny.

>>20712086
Postmodernism by Jameson and iGen

By the time you are 50 years old, we will have a cure for aging and your body will become young again like when you were a 20 year old. You will be able to live for over a thousand years.

>>20712703
Simple, read Neville Goddard and apply his (Biblical) teachings. Awaken from the self-imposed sleep, anon. Every desire is ours to expel unto the outer world.

Fuck this thread is depressing.
Anons, from the innermost chambers of my heart, be well and do the shit that will allow you to live your life awake.
The ONE AND ONLY cure that ever existed is to start doing shit NOW. Start planning out the first step NOW. Know the first step? Start executing it NOW. Left something you enjoyed doing? Get back to it NOW. This, I believe, is the only cure there can be to the passing of time. If "now" is about time you go to sleep, do that *thing* just before you go to sleep. You want be good at playing guitar? Strum a few strings and go to sleep. Want to draw? Draw a fucked up circle or a 10 second sketch and go to sleep. Want to write a novel? Write down ANY opening line.
"This story I'm about to tell you..."
Tomorrow you'll pick it up where you left off.
It is in your power to direct your thought at some thing and start doing it NOW.
And if it ever gets too hard, practice killing your self and treating your body and thoughts as that of the machine that perform action simply because they were programmed into it. You autists allow your consciousness to become too vivid about most petty things. Leave that to the time where you have a skill developed enough it is done without a second thought, until then be a machine that does shit NOW.
You were born a man. If you need to cry, then break down and cry. If you need to scream, pick up a pillow and scream into it. And then get up, straighten your thoughts in a direction that will yield you most benefit and walk that walk.
If you direct yourself fully to some one desired thing without allowing yourself to be distracted, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you will regret embarking onto this path one year from know. Fuck you won't believe the amount of shit you can learn in a month of a focused study. Work interferes with your study? Something does not allow you to pursue your interest? BECOME A MACHINE that was only programmed for some one specific purpose until you can allow yourself to indulge in your conscious pondering world.

>>20712781
Adding to this.
In my experience happiness is relative to what your values are and whether your life is aligned with them, and also stuff like whether you're exercising regularly/avoiding drugs, and spending time with other people. Goals based in external physical things will always disappoint you when you achieve them if you make them your purpose in life, and will torture you if you feel unable to get anywhere near them. The key is in the fact that you feel happiest while you are in the process of achieving the goal. It's in the doing, at least far more than it is having x amount of money or cars. Look at elon musk. He's super rich, but also very petty, spiteful and edgy like a 14-year old. I.e. he is a miserable fuck. If you base your goals in how you live as opposed to what you have, then you will never have to worry about your happiness being out of your control. Don't make your goal be to win, make it be to do your best and have fun. Makes losing less bad too, and you'll probably do better in the end than the win obsessed people.
It's not some big philosophical adventure. You're an animal. You have needs to be happy, but big corpos all took classes in manipulating human nature in order to blind you to what healthy human living is and have you on a treadmill to pursue the CEO grindset because happy people don't work their asses off to buy useless shit.
Remember to have fun. Suffering is a fact of life, but that's just how it is. No reason to get all mopey about it. Don't lie to yourself. Get a therapist, because fending off all of this psyche manipulating social software by yourself is incredibly difficult.

21 is fookin' young. But seriously think about what you want to do and having money. You'll be 30 before you know it and might be regretting even more.

>>20718655
Thanks anon! Love you too

>>20717542
Its ok anon. I just got to HS and accomplished nothing in all of grade school. I should just give up now.

I don't fit in anywhere. I hate everyone around me, it's all so grating. I'll never amount to anything or get a girlfriend I really love. Why does society have to suck so bad? I hate parties and all social gatherings. It all feels disengenuine. I don't want to die.

>>20713381
Only true post in this entire thread.

>>20712163
ok, boomer, whatever you say, boomer
ok, boomer (yeah, boomer), whatever you say, boomer
your dusty mood don't vibe with me
you are old and I must say ten-four dinosaur

>>20712218
this

>>20712218
do what?

>>20712086
>about to turn 29
>stopped being a bitch long ago
When I was your age, I was 18 months into a serious heroin addiction, God it was a good time and God am I happy I'm no longer there.

>21
>have few ambitions
>never disappointed
Life isn't so bad

>>20721582
Based

>>20712086
>21
Bro you're basically still a sperm, relax.

I finished HS at 28.

>>20722653
>>20722502
It's not so much about the formal achievements, but about living a life. I'd rather be a heroin addict or be a high school dropout rather than living a listless life where nothing happens. Doesn't matter matter what side of the Bell curve I'm on as long as I'm not in the middle, where nothing meaningful happens.