/lit/ - Literature

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan 'Press On!' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
-Calvin Coolidge

Write about God and/or your religion in your best prose.

Editorchad here. Let me know if you have a piece you want me to fix. I have a LinkedIn and charge extremely too low for my services!

maat042@yahoo.com

Seems I caught the tail end of the old thread, so I wanted to get this in here early. As grateful as I am to the two anons that have left their opinions in the last thread, I'd like to get a few more critiques in before I move on to the next one.

https://drive.proton.me/urls/8WXQ028S0R#rdjF18jgjKUP

I have spent the last 2 or 3 hours just writing out a bestiary more or less, I've been thinking of ways to have the normal things like trolls and orcs and ogres but not have them be human but green, human but green and also dumb and either large or small, I am having a lot of fun and I think my formatting is getting better, I'm trying to write this from the view of someone in universe, tell me what you think about it.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oWt2eFhScRK_1OrWjSfnMYDohrRUuJkPOWOrpNeswrQ/edit?usp=sharing

Last time I posted here, I begged for people to read my stuff. At least two people did. Thank you for that.
Anyway, I wrote another light novel/novella/whatever. Here it is: https://just_paste.it/1svue
Just remove the underscore first.
This one has the same main character. Read it or don't. Thanks either way.

>>20674628
God is one. God is everything. God is the universe. God is all possible universes. God is all possible timelines. God is every galaxy, every star, every planet, every person, every animal, every bacterium, every rock, everything. God is everything simultaneously, and all separate existences simultaneously. God is one.
And if you think about it, if you’re asking about the nature of the God of creation, not the one that supposedly wrote books, but the real God…you realize that this is the only possible answer.
The reason this knowledge isn’t more widespread...is because no one can use it to coerce people to act a certain way, to give them money, to become their slaves. Within the context of everyday life, that knowledge has no practical use.

>Change a few things in the overarching plot
>Now the beginning makes no sense to yourself again
It's all so tiresome.

>ywn be a cat that writes his own detective novels

>>20674730
>decide the first half of the book doesn't match the second half
>make changes, think it works
>it doesn't, changes weren't big enough
I'm thinking I'm just too close to the work.

>>20674751
The dog is always the one that did it.

>>20674788
That about sums up my problem, the villain who emerges in the second half is supposed to make a declaration in the first half but the sentiments he expresses there doesn't work with what he's supposed to do in the second half.

>>20674803
lmao

>>20674628
So I'm waiting for the bus with my friend Greg and we're talking about coincidence and how that word has no actual explanatory power. He starts going on about synchronicity, but the bus arrived and interrupted him. So we get on and it turns out I've lost my bus pass. Drivers a total dick about it and says fnord no pass, no ride. So I get off and Greg follows me. What a load of horseshit. Walk home, find my bus pass, catch the next bus. We're like halfway to our destination when we pass the first bus, surrounded by cop cars, windows all shot up with bullet holes. Later, on the news, we learned some psycho shot the whole bus up, tons of people died. I'm like "Jesus, we were almost on that bus. We could have died." Greg just nodded and said "synchronicity." I'm not convinced he knows what that means, but fuck it, Hail Eris.

https://files.catbox.moe/0n4a91.pdf
Anyone with too much free time want to tell me when this gets boring or if, just maybe, it doesn't get boring?
>inb4 title page

>>20674893
I barely finished the first paragraph. Too much description of a bar.

It’s so bizarre I make any money from writing. People desire this garbage?
Going through the phase where I question if I’m worthy.

>>20674889
At a minimum, you should write a short story about that experience. I thought it was gripping!

>>20674962
What immediately squashes these feelings of unworthiness is looking at RC Waldun and realizing this guy earns money from his shit writing, and so can I.

>>20674969
It's been done before

>ctrl f " and "
>1083 results
I'm never gonna make it

>>20674973
Well, do it again! But from your own unique viewpoint.

>>20674628
I have to draft something like three or four times to get decent prose. My tenses and sentence structure prove to be absolutely wild at first. One side of my family has lots of people that never even got out of high school and for that I'm influenced by lots of ineloquent speakers—God bless them. I'm not very good making something sound nice without analyzing my scansion and deliberately using devices for my desired emphasis.
Here, have a Jesus instead.

>>20674962
You're experiencing something called Imposter Syndrome.

>>20674962
If you make any money from writing, then not only do I commend you, but you are obviously worthy.
More power to you!

>>20674970
Waldun is one of many examples of why platform (meaning the full scope of how you reach your audience) matters a lot when it comes to capitalizing on your writing. I would hope I could write something with lasting appeal as well, that brings in royalties for longer.

>>20675096
Meerkat anon, that you?

>>20675133
No. I feel that anons should be free to publish however and share however they want. I don't like the condescending tone meerkatter has in the same way I get frustrated with anons who think all writing must be perfect or it's shit.
>>20674980
Wrong. That is your first step in the editing process.
You are going to make it, my friend.

>>20674648
Guy who promised to read it later here. I have returned. Having read the second half I can say your general writing quality stays really solid at a line by line level. I'd make minor niggling suggestions (mostly trimming things/word economy related) and merging some of those short choppy sentences into larger ones for better flow to suit my preferences. Overall the specificity of much of the description was a huge strength. In pic related I have highlights on portions where I think you could consider using more targeted/flavorful words.

In fact my main complaint was that after the bar the pacing was going faster and faster, and the paragraphs became massive. Counterintuitively perhaps the the fast pace of events and long paragraphs made the pacing feel very bogged down to me.

I was completely hooked by the intro and wanted to experience the story of this formerly homeless guy, his brother, and the captain ('show' as some would say) - that is let me see the bar conversation, taste the beer, smell the ocean air - but instead was having a massive story explained to me at lightening speed. I think the entire story your trying to tell is the scope of a novel or something whereas the story of the guys arrival, grabbing beers, and finding of the boat is a short story with room to breath. So in essence I felt like it got weaker as it got faster as the story progressed. You have real skill so I hope you stick with it.

I submitted my first chapter to royal road, I still think its a little rough but I cleaned it up, gave the characters names, read over it to make sure it fits with what I've put in my world building ideas book, I've not read anything that I would say it actually awful on royal road so I am not sure how strict they are, maybe I should find the lowest rated stuff on there and start reading it to get a feeling for the quality floor.

>>20675229
How are you bringing an audience to your royal road page?

>>20675229
link your royalroad account

>>20675244
I am not right now, I am doing this as a hobby, I will look into trying to bring in an audience once I have been accepted, until then I will keep writing, if this is rejected then I see little point in doing anything but refining the story until its worth actually reading according to the site, figure thats a fine enough metric for.
>>20675249
https://www.royalroad.com/profile/283520
not sure what you're gonna get out of it but here you are.

I'm trying to not fall into the outline and worldbuilding trap, how much do you guys outline and plan something like a fantasy story if you're going heavy on foreshadowing and the story is very background-heavy?

>>20675229
>read over it to make sure it fits with what I've put in my world building ideas book
how far ahead have you drafted?

>>20674621
putting together a weekly phone friendly /lit/ magazine

issue02 comes out tomorrow. submissions still open for issue03

minimagsubmissions@gmail.com

>>20675323

>>20675327

>>20675328

>>20675331

>>20675334

>>20675318
drafted as in how many chapter written? just the one, I have ideas of where I want to take the story but I actually only started writing last night, today I just went an cleaned that up and thought more on the world I want it to be in, I am early enough that most things aren't really set in stone, but I want to avoid making something that requires me to start doing retcons and rewrites for it to make sense, I might write another chapter tonight since I have at least the first arc formed in my head and I just need to put it to text.

>>20675337

>>20675271
If you want I can put your RR link in the /wg/ pastebin so anons can read your stuff

>>20675341
if my submissions is accepted I will do that then.

>>20675340

>>20675344

>>20675348

>>20675352

>>20675355

>>20675358

>>20675361

How do you guys write with depression?

>>20675380
I am writing to take my mind off it, I need to be thinking about something otherwise I start spiraling.

>>20675380
You have to sharpen it first and then make sure the tip doesn't break off.

>>20675177
Invaluable information, thank you anon!

>>20674647
Fellow em dash enjoyer.

>>20675431
I'm not feelin this end to the chapter, I kinda wanted each chapter to be around 1500 words just because thats how long I wrote the first one, but I think I'll cut out this ending and shrink it down to 1200, or I could get rid of this whole part and write a longer chapter, its not like this is being written for any real reason, so longer or shorter doesn't really matter.

>>20675431
didn't mean to reply to you, whoops.

>>20675275
Expect to write the book twice anyways.

>>20675275
my outline was very bare bones, like less than a full page, just the big plot beats. foreshadowing was very easy. things your characters do influence or create what happens next, or have not as immediately obvious longer reaching effects down the road. it's simple.

>>20675673
No doubt about this one.

>>20675695
In my case, a slight change led to a previously important character feeling misplaced as a much more central and new character had now taken his primary role, which leads to this worry that I have to rein things in much more to prevent problems. A single-page outline for a start does work though because there's a definite beginning and end, and I can always make it longer if it makes sense.

How do you resist the urge to delete everything you're written so far and to give up on writing entirely?

>>20675721
>a slight change led to a previously important character feeling misplaced as a much more central and new character had now taken his primary role
is that really a problem?

>>20675733
It is to me at least, because having the other character taking a big part of his role means he has less meaning now and he's one of the major characters for the first part of the story.

Day 32 editing
Chapter 30 honed
I think i'm actually developing a distinctive voice
>This is the point where readers jump ship

>>20675275
I just plan it in my head. can't be arsed to write outlines

>>20675777
Can you post an example of your edited work?

>>20675799
i'll link it when its posted to a copyrightable sauce, which will be in about a month, give or take.

>>20675841

I'd like to take the time while on my break to properly respond to the two of you.

>>20674055
I took your suggestion and submitted it. Let's hope they have suggestions and input to let me, as you say, polish it up a bit before publishing. They seem kinda desperate in that thread.

I like the idea of writing for that magazine, it would hold me accountable for my writing goals. a monthly piece in this style recounting various experiences and events in my life.

>>20675177
>the filename
I'm aware, or at least have been told before, of how I speak in a choppy, disjointed, and scattered way. It's something I wanted to avoid, so knowing it comes across that way still is very useful. Pacing as well, I have had practice with it and am autistically bad at seeing myself fail. I kinda need to be told, thank you.

I think it seemed to go faster and faster when I realized I was already on X amount of pages and had so much more of the story to write. I'd really like this to be one part of a much larger whole, something like I said to the anon above. I have a lot more details I could put in to fill it out. I can talk about The Space, a musician's collective that claims full inclusive but gate-keeps like the worst of them, where I met a girl and let her dread my hair because she was cute. I can talk about how the first and only time I ever danced with someone was on The Galley's dance floor with that baker from the Southend General Store. A lot of the conversations I had and the stories and names of the sailors at that bar have been lost in the sea of memories that is my mind.

My brother asked me to write lyrics for his band's song, here's what I came up with. Thoughts?

You defied the king,
and the night you were out you were laughing

On the hill where you could touch the aurora,
you extended both arms and invited me

The beads that unraveled and scattered
"Isn't it pretty?" -- a present to the night sky

The clown, without showing his true face
disappeared one day, like a joke

The world seems to revolve easily today as well
At that speed, even tears dry, but...

Your dream coming true isn't due to someone's help
It picked a day with strong wind and came running

I wonder where you are and what you're doing nowadays
I want to meet your departing form that shined and floats in my eye

Your dream coming true isn't due to someone's help
It picked a day with strong wind and came running

Even though I can't fly I'm not uneasy,
because the ground continues
Let's go to the place we love
If it's you, I can do that

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eooCRB8TiQEmoDWqYle-4ls_zJ_CX8Kwsf-5VOepQ3g/edit
I think this is a good second chapter, since the main character is still a baby I am trying to set up the world using older characters who will later teach some of this stuff to the MC, as well as setting up his odd behavior for an infant, also I am wondering if these characters sound natural to you guys, I have 7 sisters and 4 nieces so I feel like I should be able to write female characters fine.
>>20675989
I think that sounds good, though maybe jester instead of clown? mostly a personal thing with me, I can't take clowns in any media seriously, especially with clussy fever running rampant in some people

>>20676051
>I think that sounds good, though maybe jester instead of clown? mostly a personal thing with me, I can't take clowns in any media seriously, especially with clussy fever running rampant in some people
Changed it. Much better now, thanks.

>have always said "so long as (something happens...)"
>write it in a story
>text editor flags it as incorrect
>google
>the proper form is "as long as"
>change it
>later read some books
>every single one has "so long as"
Fuck English

>>20676104
my spell checker tried to correct axe to ax just a bit ago, and it wants to hyphenate everything, not that you should throw out grammar rules all the time but english is so retarded that at times you should just do what sounds right, read it out, ask someone elses opinion on it, if enough people don't have any issues with it and you aren't doing something completely retarded then its probably fine.

>>20674962
Congratulations on your Royalroad success.
>>20675229
I read some Indians who was ESL book, he deleted it I believe. Here's the front page.

How's royalroad with censorship?

I was happy to wait until I could see Wish Mountain. I was curious but able to ignore my want to see it any time soon. That same day I walked in my sleep for the first time, doing the bad thing. In my dream I thought I was making my way through the forest near camp during the light of day, with lots of red robins flying all around me; I was chasing them and trying to catch one with my hands. In my dream I came to the end of the forest, to the start of the very big field, where the hill was.

I caught a red robin and it chirped happily in my hands because it wanted to be my friend, but then I blinked and the robin disappeared, and the sunny daytime was replaced by the late night sky full of stars.

Finding myself alone I was too afraid to try and make my way back to camp, so I stayed where I was looking across the field to far, far away.

That was when I saw Wish Mountain for the first time. I gasped and wondered how something could be so big. It was like those beams of wood that kept the mine tunnels from falling in, except Wish Mountain looked like it was holding up the entire sky. I couldn’t see what was at the top of Wish Mountain; because it was so big the clouds in the sky, big thick, unmoving white ones, hid what was above them, the way blood hides a bit of wood stuck inside a finger.

Somehow Amaryllis, Hress, Red, and me were above the clouds. I realised I hadn’t really looked all the way to my left. I looked again, my heart drumming in my chest. My gut clenched as I saw the blue forest to the left continue on and up…up…up…until I couldn’t look up anymore but there was still more forest and mountain to be seen.

“Hey, Chicory,” said Red, her hands patting my hips, “Are you okay?”

A feeling like breathing a lungful of air after being dunked beneath river water swept over me.

“Y-yeah,” I said, quietly.

Hress and Red came to a stop because we had reached the tower, seeing the dully smooth black stone up close made me hope more than ever that there really was comfort waiting inside.

People who show my writing to tell me it's like a high school essay written by a smart highschooler. What does that mean? How do I write like an adult?

Is posting your work on Royal Road worth it? How do people make money from Royal Road and is there a list of the top earners and how much they are making?

anyone else just use these threads to steal people's ideas and works and publish them in a short story collection

>>20676299
Donation link and patreon or whatever other subscription service. As for how much, depends on your schedule and whether people like what you write. One of the largest writers, that I remember hearing about a couple of years ago, made like 10k monthly, I think.

>>20676271
I think they have a % threshold for curses and obscenity so gory\lewd scenes will have to be rare.

>>20676412
Yeah, then I have no chance lol. Never mind.

>>20676271
There was an anon a couple weeks ago that had his story pulled because it was about a serial killer getting offers for streaming service deals and then the world was watching him murder random people. The premise was just too based, too in your face mockery of entertainment and media coverage of shootings, and RR pulled it. Some anons suggested he turn it into a story where he's a vigilante, but the entire bite to the story is that he was making money for killing innocent people. Hopefully some other platform or publisher realizes how relevant that story could be.

>>20676480
That sounds bretty gud. Did he upload it somewhere else? I kinda want to check it out.
Unfortunate how basically every publisher/platform doesn't seem to understand art.

"literally real life, might as well read the news instead" tier
>black vs black
muh deep conflicted antihero tier
>grey vs black
muddled gurmtrash tier
>grey vs grey
"I've read the 'elder god tier' meme" tier
>grey vs white
ontological kino tier
>white vs black
TRULY ASCENDED TIER
>white vs white

>>20676480
Can we find that anywhere? I really want to read that.

>>20676487
How do you write a story about a conflict between two objectively morally goods

>>20676499
It's difficult!

Why is the writing process so unbearably slow and boring? I've spent the last 2 years working on my stuff and it is no where close to being done. I try to write everyday and i try to write impulsively just writing whatever crap comes to mind and i just go totally blank for 3 or 4 hours before coming back and writing a little bit and even the bits i write arent very good. What am i supposed to do to speed it up?

>>20676499
Give the opposing sides different perspectives that are both morally good, but incompatible

>>20676512
Like the difference between in dnd terms lawful good and chaotic good or something more nuanced

>>20676520
Preferably more nuanced

>>20676536
Can you help me pay my debts

>>20676550
Only God can help you

>>20676295
Please respond

>>20676295
My guess is your writing is too inhibited and lacks confidence/conviction.
Teenage insecurity is holding you back from going deeper.
Since I haven't seen your writing and I'm not inside the heads of the people who told you that, I can only speculate.

>>20676295
>>20676560
>People who show my writing to tell me it's like a high school essay written by a smart highschooler. What does that mean? How do I write like an adult?

1. Don't put so much value on what bitches be saying about you.
2. Read more challenging books and shit.
3. Keep writing and improving.
4. quit being a little bitch.
5. Being a smart highschooler is probably better than being a dumbass adult.

>>20676578
What does inhibited writing look like vs going deeper? Should I put more fuck words in my prose?

>>20674654
I only read the first part. I thought the dialogue flowed well, and on my first reading the descriptions/narrations were a bit awkward for me. After reading it again it was easier, so I'm not sure what to make of it. I'll just quote what felt off the first time:
>At night, its real clientele come out. On a certain night, its clientele came out in force.
>As she spoke, the voice of the woman wearing sunglasses at night rose with excitement.

You also stopped indenting half-way, so that made it a bit jarring.

>>20676617
Not necessarily. What I mean is just don't inhibit the flow of ideas.
Basically
>don't try

>>20675730
Put it for critique, and if the revisions are more than you can afford, consider disappearing that shit.

>>20676295
Can you show us a sample, man? None of us are oracles, so what the hell are you expecting?

>>20676511
About how many words do you average a week? It is a slow grind in general, but you might need to change your process to have more or less outlining, different session writing time length or frequency, etc.

>>20676320
Someone said they stole my idea a few months ago :(

>>20676714
>>20676320
And this is another reason why I don't post anything unless I have no intentions of finishing it.

Tfw rejected for publication again

>>20676722
Just... Write better? Idiot.

>>20676732

>>20676760
I'm published, unlike you. Sorry. Its just a little series, don't know if you've heard of it.
*Ahem*
>pic rel

Some despairing monologue of one disillusioned with learning.

Placing one hand upon the altar, she laments "Why father? Why did you learn so much? Teach me so much? What was the point? What was it useful for? Not for these sorry men, and their sorry arts. Who are they anyways? They aren't even themselves. They who call themselves by schools of thought but never by their own name. Philosophers who would sooner become their antagonist than become themselves. Why? For what reason? Writers who would sooner become illiterate than become themselves. It's all the same. The same pettiness in all of them. None writing but always writers. None philosophizing but always philosophers. None being but always are. Why identify so much? Why so binary? I don't get it.

'Whom am I talking to right now? Yourself, or your book? Your idea of what an artist is? A writer? A mathematician? Why not just you?' I wish to say, but never do.

I'm feeling so lonely, father. I should have lived a simpler life. Back then so naive, and enjoying so much. Why did I stop? When did learning become so isolating? Normal conversation gets dull and tiring, and higher level ones are plagued with those who discuss only to debate, learn only to rule, fortify only to brittle, seek only to abandon. They never sought elevation of the mind, of the art or of the soul. It's a means to an end. Where are my kin? I can't be the only one."

>don't write for a week
>suddenly make a 3k word chapter in two sittings with little effort
It's like masturbating. You do it every day and only trickles come out, you abstain for a while and blow a big load. This is my wisdom.

>>20676722
Maybe you should get someone to proofread it (not editor gmail anon)

>>20676722
Todd McFarlane collected over 700 rejections before getting accepted.

>>20676788
>>20676790
How new?

>>20676806
I suppose you thought that was terribly clever.

>>20676812
Start with the archive. You’ve got a loooooot to learn.
https://archived.moe/lit/thread/8611580/#8611580

>>20676826
Okay but seriously though, you can still make it after 700 rejections so don't give up!

>>20676834
Name 50

>>20676834
Well, that’s good to hear. I didn’t know about him by name but I know Spawn. I’ve only tried Spawn the Impaler though, and the art was very weird… as in flat but with lifelike colouring… I’m sure Todd’s art is better. Why did he get rejected? Because he was doing pinups?

>>20676884
He got rejected because he sucked. He had no formal art training. He just kept drawing until he got good without a teacher, and now he's a millionaire.

laksdftvk
lion, a kangaroo, some donkeys fuck the vegetarian keeper.

smash your hand on your keyboard and then each of those letters is the start of a word

e.g.

lol
laugh out loud.

lets gooooooooooooooooooooo

Are there any programs that let you take pictures of handwriting and convert it into text? I have a bad case of dry eyes from staring at screens too much so I want to go back to handwriting for a while, but I still wan't to be able to have a upload and share it

>>20677007
Although I can't be bothered to search it for you I can say with confidence that yes, that does exist.

>>20676787
kek

>>20677007
it's called OCR and there are plenty of them, most pretty decent as long as your handwriting is legible

>>20676806
Been here a few years but on the site for 15 years. I forgot the context behind your submittable shitpost.

>>20676760
Didnt he actually publish two books?

is it possible to write sexy? have you ever done it?

>>20677166
Just flirt with the reader. Put tantalizing subtext to words and gestures, or show lust. A girl or guy passes by, describe how she or he walks, describe reactions of people who see.

>>20676760
There is so much that upsets me about this picture. The fat neckbeard is just the start of it. The globe in the background is sitting at an angle that makes no sense, he is apparently using a television for a computer monitor, his hands are in a position like he is typing but there is no keyboard, and there are three tins of altoids in front of a box of who knows what the fuck.

God this imagine just fucks with me I hate it.

>>20677176
thnx, its my first time.

>>20674893
I'd cut right to when the first character walks in, mix in the details of the bar itself and the pessimism of the bartender as you go. The opening paragraph feels like it sets up for something else, which might be what you're going for, but if you not then just axe it

>>20677179
>TV as monitor
How old are you? 2000s zoomie?

My main character worries me, I can get the narcissism down to perfection but I am apprehensive of their social nature, this should be an extrovert, someone so external that they lack anything inside but I don't think I can pull it off.
Any advice?

>>20676412
>a % threshold for curses and obscenity
This is just flat out not true. At roughly 300k words I have 185 permutations of the word fuck - which is less than I thought it was, although I've been making a habit of cutting out some of the swearing in editing. My book has explicit sex scenes, violence, coded racism, the whole nine yards. RR is totally fine with it.
Do I shout nigger nigger nigger on line 1 of the book? Of course not.

My writing project involves three surviviors of a plane crash stranded on n Island waiting for rescue. One is chad tier, one girl is Stacey the other is fairly advertised looking guy who is used as nothing more than a worker by Chad who plans on murdering Chad while making jt look like an an accident so he can win Stacey.

>>20677242
Write in 3rd person.

>>20677369
The threshold is 15%, as I remember.

>>20677393
15% is an absurdly high percentage. like, you'd need to have a swear in every other sentence. the only thing a policy like that would keep off the site would be erotica, where half of every chapter would dedicated to describing Dick Savage ravaging Petunia Flowers quivering quim.

>>20677393
They will remove my story if 15% of the text is profanity? I would consider it an achievement if someone wrote anything coherent at 15% or greater.

>>20677393
What if you use the big bad no-no nigger word?

I literally can't write unless my mental health is in order

>>20677473
I use it in my Chinaman story. It fits. Don't use chink that much, they didn't call the Chinese that back then. So getting the correct wording was difficult

I can't write for shit, I am stupidly visual and I can picture everything and if I could draw I'd draw it instead but I can't.

>"To think one would care so much about this, never saw the value"- the man snorted his thoughts aloud- "it's all busywork, it's useless."
>"It's history" - the elderly man replied abruptly - "no need to be brutish about it"
>I was not in the mood for arguing or hearing someone else have at it, abrupt cut to waking life still had me confused. The nature of our expedition, permits still in mind, scheduling, preparation, shipping, hiring and vetting process, eventually came back to my mind. Bureaucracy ocean to get here, months spent waiting for the operation to be looked at after that revised, two couldn't wait to be home again. Mere minutes back into this and I was already pissed off.
>Helicopter blades droning in and out, almost arrhythmical past the cabin. City's a cacophony today, has been for my whole stay.

>Time to cut my silence - "ETA?" - all I want to say, there's this particular headache beating down on me, the sweating was another demon entirely, parboiled in this cabin high above the ground, 5 degrees away from the brazen bull sure enough. Tallest building on this city could barely be seen, dizzying to think about but was never one for the fear of heights, claustrophobia too, never appealed to me in particular.
>"ETA?" - the worker next to me replies automatically, I get that impression from his tone of voice but I might have ignored one or two replies already, I'm yet to feel my brain active again, the altitude or sleep, one of those two has me confused and idiotic. Either that or he doesn't speak my language, there was something funny about his pronunciation, not stilted but didn't strike me as a natural.

""Writer's block""

>>20677423
>>20677433
It's not just words themselves, there's some algorithm that checks for scenes that cross the line.

>>20677236
No bitch, I'm 30. Never saw a black one.
It still pisses me off.

>>20677369
>>20677393
>>20677423
>>20677433
>>20677488
someone post it

>>20677481
Try writing the consequences of the actions instead of describing scenery and the stream of consciousness of PoV.

>>20677500
>stream of consciousness of PoV
But I actually really like this!
Like reading it, like trying to write it.

Anyways how shit am I so far?

>stream of consciousness

>>20677516
What? Come on, give me feedback and advice please!?

>>20677506
Reads like you are reading it from a stage, sometimes taking a pause to narrate the character's thoughts or scenery. Kinda like watching the first Dune movie..

>>20677531
>Kinda like watching the first Dune movie..
That bad huh?
Yeah I get it now, I see it clearly, it's like one line and sudden vomit of thoughts, that ETA is egregious. I'm so embarrassed now, sorry.
Ok, I can still be a good writer, what should I do, I need more advice, what books should I read for this? Like, if I told you my main writing inspiration you wouldn't get it from how shit I am, fuck.

>>20677481
>>20677560
It's pretty fucking bad bro.
Read a Brandon Sanderson novel and try to emulate his style, you'll have better luck. You are not skilled enough to pull off whatever the fuck you are trying to do.

>>20677585
>>20677585
I give up, lol.
I'll learn to draw and make a graphic novel instead, thanks for your time.

>>20677560
You'll get better as you write more and read what you like more. The books that teach how to build a story with the acts and archetypes and structures are mostly for scripts where time is limited.

When I was starting to write the, now half finished, novel, I took a couple of character archetypes and they eventually grew into characters as I wrote. Their lives and motivations also developed from the simple direction of two characters with knowledge of the future, one wants to enforce it for known result, another takes what others want into account.

So, if you put in effort, you'll get better.

>>20677595
Learning to draw is a hundred times harder

>>20677488
Again, I literally have a book full of swears and violence and explicit erotic scenes, some of which contain questionable consent, that I am about 10 chapters away from finishing on RR right now. Their standards are fairly lax.

>>20677595
I didn't mean give up. Just simplify your style, get back to the basics.
You can do it.

Actually, if you give up that easy you didn't care enough in the first place. You're going to give up on art too when you realize that's hard.

>>20677497

>choosing planet names by just google translating words
>trying to name a second moon that orbits the first which is really just a meteor a god flung up there to prevent it hitting the planet
>most languages have the word meteor but with an extra letter or some accents on the word
I'm gonna freak, and by that I mean I think thats sorta neat to me, I guess meteor is a more modern word and so it spread around and was only minimally changed by local accents, like how in Dutch, German, and Afrikaans the word for earth is Aarde or Erde, said nearly the same way.

>>20677595
And you'll give up on that too, you little bitchmade nigger. You're fucking pathetic, and you'll never amount to anything. I spit on you like I shit on streets, faggot.

>>20677604
>>20677625
>>20677636
>>20677602
Not really, I saw more results in one month of drawing opposed to the shit you saw above, I'm a shit writer, I'll never be a good writer, I'll NEVER be a good writer, I give up, there's nothing to say, nothing to do, not enough time to learn, I could spend forever writing, not an inch closer to finishing a good novel, people have a delusion, that they have something good in them, waiting to come out. The more delusional ones believe it will come out with no effort, as natural as biomechanical precision. The more rational ones know it's a matter of effort but there's another face to this, it will simply take too long, maybe everyone DOES have a good novel, it will simply take too long to matter, I could have a good novel, one, it would take longer than my lifespan to do it.
I will write my novel, a good one, a story, in a million years, I'll be dust and have been dust for eternity before the scheduled time comes true.

>>20677635
>each and every little thing needs a proper name
nope

>>20677642
Make a visual novel then.

>>20677642
Well, on the bright side, your letter of capitulation is pretty well written.

>>20677646
I don't think I'll ever name every planet, but I figure the moon and the planet the story takes place on at least need a name.

>felt calm, happy, and fulfilled when working on ms, wrote every day, dedicated 100% to it
>finished last project
>been about 3 weeks with nothing to work on
>brink of depression fueled mental breakdown, feel wretched, lazy, brainfogged, falling apart, miserable, and anxious

If I don't write I will literally die.

>>20677479
My mental health isn't in order unless I write.

>>20677656
Are they going offplanet? Are they visitors to this planet? Even if they are, what's wrong with calling the moon a moon and not even referring to the planet, or when you doing merely saying, 'this planet'

>>20677595
>write 1 thing for the first time
>it's bad
>give up
Does /wg/ really? You'd have to be a supergenius for your first attempt to be anywhere near good.

>>20677674
I had thought of just calling it this planet as if the people living there never questioned it, and maybe its best to just call a moon a moon.

>>20677647
>>20677636
I'll eventually give up on that too, I always do. I'll give up, it's in my nature, my animal nature to die and give up and roll over and crawl into nothingness, because I am glad, glad to not spend more time on this shitty fucking world, I am not great enough to compete, artistically dormant, any art that might come out of my mouth hands or eyes is a lobotomized copy of someone else, I am not great, I am not good, I am not decent, I am not even alright, no, I am shit. Mundane genes create mundane thoughts, I am not the type of man to step up to this, give up and die, accept it, why is it so hard and why crave it anyways? It's all over, die die die die.
FUCK
I am not good enough, I am mundane and delusional, I am shit, I am human, below, sell it to me, writing courses, writing souvenirs, more and more lies, nothing I'll ever do is good enough.

>>20677690
Anon hits "Post".

He looks up at the ceiling as he sits back down with his cup of coffee. He stares at the cracks in the plaster as they spread out from his head. He takes another sip and lets the caffeine wash over him. "What did I just say?"

After masturbating to a Korean woman playing Metallica's Master of Puppets with drums I have achieved temporary enlightenment. Using this newfound clarity I have formulated the perfect crime, or rather a series of such, one that will undo my enemies and leave me with moderate wealth and nothing to connect me to the illegal activities required.
I wrote all my plans in a notebook, knowing my clarity was only temporary. Alas, before being able to realize my MASTER PLAN, the notebook was stolen by a dog. This criminal canine threatened to devour my notebook unless I assisted him in delivering a dire warning to mankind, that an alien invasion was imminent.
How can I possibly undertake such a task?

>>20677652
>>20677604
>>20677602
>>20677647
Read, effort, visual novel, write.
2 of those ignore reality, 1 is insulting, clear and cut, the other one assumes far too much.
Read and Write, as if I can get better, as if I could ever. No, I deny it, I reject it, it's necessary to assume I'll be bad forever, keep it up, the sheer Effort it would take for me to be good, like it was a cheap trick everyone can be taught, bullshit, fuck you all. I am shit, I posted shit, and I was expecting to get better, just a joke, I give up on self improvement, on standards, I hate reading now, it's my enemy and you're also my enemy, why keep filling my head with words I am never going to even come close to, it's all beautiful and pretty and important until you're left out, I shit and piss on literature.
How long? You saw my shit, how long would it take me to be a good writer? Even if I make a visual novel, do you think I have what it takes, you know what they will call me, videogame writing, proving another stereotype right.
I can't compare, I'll never be Disco Elysium, never, I'll never be Arcanum, Deus Ex, never, no, I am at best, shitty Bioshock, I am just a suicide in the making, I should do it, I should fucking do it, end the mediocrity, blow my fucking brains out.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

>tfw I am not good with words
>tfw I love filmmaker and want to write s screenplay
>tfw I really want to make a film
>tfw I keep remembering the words of Gaddis that most people just want to larp as artist but they don't have it
>mfw I feel like a larper

What do bros? I sat on my table for one hour and only wrote few lines of meaningless convoluted gibberish.

>>20677736
>Drama [Legendary: Failure]

>>20677736
fuck you bioshock is great

>>20677677
>>20677625
>>20677602
yOU SAW MY SHIT, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE ME TO BE GOOD? HOW LONG? 1 YEAR? 2 YEARS? 3 YEARS? 4 YEARS? 5 YEARS? 10? 15? 20? 40? 80? 320? 900?
I have a good estimate on the amount, I'll write my first good novel once I HAVE BEEN FUCKING DEAD AND GONE FOR 1045 YEARS, THATS JUST THE FIRST ONE, STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT ONE,
1045 YEARS YOU SAY ?
Yes, the sooner I kill myself the sooner I get it, let's get it on.

>post joyce and pass it off as my own
>/wg/ tears it to shreds
kek

>Logic
>The truth is that no, you have no writing talent, you have no way of ever hoping to be good at it. What you lack is common sense, understanding of words, proper guidance and time. Characters? Cheap. Dynamics? Nonexistent, smoke. Concepts? Everyone has those.
There is nothing unique about you, stop the ego tantrum, no story needs to be told by someone like you, nothing gained.

>>20677759
fUCK YOU ASSHOLE
YOU CALLED ME SHIT, I AM SHIT BUT FUCK YOU

>>20677595
>>20677585
>>20677642
>>20677690
>>20677736
>>20677775
You will make it if you keep trying.
What does it matter if it takes you 10 years, 20 years, 100 or 1000 years? Even Hokusai lamented on his deathbed that if he had just 5 more years of living, he could have become a great painter.
So what if you didn't write the greatest thing in history the first time you tried? Dust yourself off and try again. Perseverance is the surest way to make it.
You ask, how long will it take for you to be good? The answer is, as long as it takes.
Feel fury, anguish, and hopelessness. Tear your pride to shreds if you must. But when you're done, the page will still be waiting for you.
Sit down and get to work.
You WILL be a writer.
You WILL make it.

Well played.
But despite his reputation James Joyce is objectively shit.

>>20677822
/wg/ doesn't know jack shit

>>20677759
What the devil?
Who hacked my trip?
Son of a-

>>20677847
based

>>20677859
I didn't want to feed the troll or anything, but if anyone is wondering

>>20677855
>>20677759
>>20677714
>>20677652
>>20677625

These are my posts. This is my old tripcode I used back in like 2018

>>20677859
>>20677855
>>20677853
>>20677759
>>20677714
>>20677870

I'm writing a Hotel California themed short story. Here's my first crack at it. Repost*

We come to town late and stop at the first bar. Devil's Hole it reads. Apt, I say, hell of a drive. She's unamused and goes ahead. Need to use the toilet. I lock the car and stretch for the first time in hours. There's deep pain in my shoulders, feels like it's in the bone. Ow. The muscles stack one by one, going back where they should be. The door throws light on the gravel drive. As I cross the threshold faces turn. Quiet, no music. Whats a bar without music? A box of drunks? Two beers. Please, I add. The barman pours without meeting my eyes and sets the drinks on the counter. I find a corner far away: a dusty booth, faded cushions. Still not back from the loo. I taste the beer, watery but cold. Well, I'll take what I can get. Crooked motions as barflies sip. The barman poised, looking down. Globes hanging like full moons. What a pit. She slots in across from me, going for her drink. And no music? Not a jukebox? I'm too tired to argue. I drink. She drinks. Gradually we relax, smile. She holds my hand across the table, small beacon of warmth in the gloom. Water circlets on the table. She draws a smiley-face. Another round? I go, return. She hums a tune. Silence isn't so bad, you know? At least we can hear each other. You have a wrinkle. She smooths out my forehead. I laugh, long day. What's the name of this town? Didn't see a sign. We drink in the Devil's Hole in a town with no name. Outside the window is void-black, no lights on, not even a star. There might be fog. It must be late. I check my watch – it's stopped. I tap the damn thing. Bummer. What luck. She returns with another armful of beer. The barman clears the table without word, wipes away the water, smile, leaving us a fresh canvas. We start drinking anew. Cheers. The quiet swallows the clink. No really, it's bad. She smooths again my brow, thumb pressing the thin skin. I look into her eyes. Hung, tired. More than tired – old. Sallow, sunken cheeks, inward-drawn flesh. After all, it's been so long. And her clothes: dusty, moth-eaten like the pillows. I check my wallet: no cash. The barman places two fresh pints. I try to explain but he stops me. First and last words: it's on the house. We sit and drink and he refills. We've long since moved to the bar, sitting with the regulars perched on stools. The watch never starts. The window never brightens. The song never ends.

please respond :(

>Empathy
>You tried, there's comfort in knowing that, you shouldn't have.
>It's better not to attempt.
>It's always this, the whiplash from reality but there's no need to ever try, there are many stories in this world, what's one less? It's only meant for you anyways, no need to write it, or think about it, nothing that hurts can ever be good.

>>20677870
Oh yeah I remember that.
How'd you get my actual trip though? Password is 4 lowercase letters so maybe that's where I fucked up.

>>20677884
Whoever you are, stop.

This is going to be my new trip from now on, fucking asshole.

>>20677892
Bitch, I don't talk like that.
If you are going to impersonate me do it right faggot.

>>20677896
Try to guess my new trip, faggot.

testing something

Alright, main trip is newp then other one where I fucked with a capitol letter was Newp.

Guess sange is done. Have fun bitches.

>>20677906
Test how quick you'll catch fire after bathing in gasoline, faggot

>Conceptualization [Impossible:Failure]
>Your mind's eye betrayal couldn't be more dramatic, that paragraph contains mistake after mistake, literary abortion. What were you thinking? Carve it in your forehead and make people agree with you, "SHIT WRITER", let it get infected while you're at it, fitting punishment.

>>20677914
Take a long time with no lighter or anything. With a lighter or a match, pretty fucking fast.

>>20677878
Pretty cool. I think the stream of consciousness works well in this little window, but if you're aiming to make it a short story, you're going to need multiple segments of different POVs. That may hinder its overall effectiveness.
What I think is missing is personality from the MC. We get the stream of consciousness and the point of view, but I never feel like I'm in the head of unique character. He notices the jukebox and he can taste the beer, but I don't feel like he's three dimensional yet. Something you can work on.

>>20676650
Yeah, I'm not really sure what caused my indents to disappear. I think that website is just crap.
I would have used pastebin, but pastebin thought I was writing extremist literature because I used the word 'terrorist' as part of the story.

>>20677926
Thanks buddy

>>20677934
>extremist literature
We call those incel manifestos

>>20677847
I don't think so.
Dude, videogame writing is way better, Disco Elysium is the standard now.
I can never compare to Disco Elysium, this will contribute to my eventual suicide.

How much effort do you think it takes to make and maintain a site like Royal Road? I was thinking of making one that is more for horror and edgier stories. I know some developers that might do it on the side for cheap.

>>20677736
Get your piss out of your cereal and grow the fuck up. Sit down, write like your life depends on it. The only obstacle is (you)

>>20677950
That would be incredible. If you make it like 4chan where everything goes it would be a godsend.
Don't know what it would cost or how much effort it would be, though.

>>20677951
Read this.
>>20677949
And the event that made it happen
>>20677585
>>20677481
If I told you who was my inspiration, you'd laugh at me for eternity.
I'm not going to be good/

>>20677949
>Dude, videogame writing is way better, Disco Elysium is the standard now.
>the standard
You keep bringing up this game for how well written it is. Let me tell you something, if it is so well written, it is not the standard. Not even close. Just because some extremely well written games like Baldur's Gate or that exist dorsn't mean that everything is on that level. Here's the reality too, its serviceably written - which does mean that it's written well.\, don't get me wrong. It may not be brilliant, but for a video game it may as well be.

sup

>>20677982
Hey man

How do you stay interested?

>>20677981
disco elysium is very good, it's more that the word "written" isn't appropriate to describe its achievement in craftsmanship

>>20678001
a lot of the time, writing is just work

>>20677981
I'll never compare either way, I give up.
Someone who writes this shit >>20677481 would never be able to make something like DE. The comparison is only made because someone told me to write a VN, the best VN so far is Disco Elysium, then in games there's Arcanum, Baldur's Gate, Deus Ex, Planescape.
I'll never make something like that, and that's Visual Novels or videogames.
I wanted to be a writer, a good one, my inspirations would kill me if they read that, I know for a fact one of my writing heroes would blow my brains out if I showed him that, he's dead now, thankfully.
I give up, maybe I can hope to be a visual artist, I am not smart or talented enough for writing, I am a dumb stupid simple animal whore who can only think in visuals and cameras, and even then I am shit, I have nothing, I am larping as an artist but I have no artist genes, I should do myself a favor and kill myself but I don't because I am a stupid simple dumb animal whore thinking in animal terms.
>>20678026
Do you agree with me? I am going to blow my brains out shortly, months, I'd say. I am going to grab a gun, a revolver, press it against my temple and pull the trigger.

Reminder to filter the tripfag or just anonymize everyone.

>>20678034
>Do you agree with me?
no, get help
only children are embarrassed about not being good at something the first few times they've tried it

>>20678061
Tell me the truth now, to end it, 1 MONTH WRITING, think I will eventually be good, I will be dead and buried, for a thousand years, long decayed before a single sentence that can compare to the greats comes out of me. Even the worms that will shit all over my corpse will be on their billionth generation by the time, no, trillionth. I have the chance to stop a future hack by blowing my brain's out, for the sake of artistic integrity, I should start picking the caliber.

does this read well? I am a little worried that its kinda rambly and I don't like such a large block of text but I think most of the wording itself is fine.

>>20678079
BETTER THAN ME THATS FOR SURE
YUORE A WAY BETTER WRITER THAN ME, NOW AND FOREVER

>>20678079
Feels like a run on sentence in the beginning.

>>20678092
>>20678073
>>20678034
>>20677949

>>20678092
thanks anon, but I really just started writing, not 2 days ago I could barely write anything that wasn't long winded, rambly, and with awful formatting, 2 years ago I hardly used punctuation and only actually learned because a friend said I was incomprehensible at time, I believe if you keep trying you can do it, maybe stop writing for a little while and just read what you like and then try and emulate that.
>>20678097
I've been told that about other posts of mine that weren't stories, I will try to work on that more.

Thinking about doing overemployment (2 remote jobs at once) but I already read and write while at "work" (I get my job done. Now i get rewarded for my efficiency.) Technically I'm already doing OE? still waiting to sell (get pubbed) though. just a weird specific feel.

i went from not having energy to write at all with an in-office to having tons of time and energy with remote.

>Add a pre chapter note that I'm changing my release schedule soon
>Drop a follow if you dont want to miss the new time
>My follower count drops
I really played myself there, didn't I?

>>20678103
2 DAYS, 2 DAYS AND YOURE WAY BETTER THAN ME!?
Thats it, I cant write.

>>20678105
>>20678139
>>20678103
Yeah, I'm going to kill myself out of being bad at writing and anything.

>>20678127
ive accepted that my writing will only get famous after i die of heart failure

>>20677775
Sanderson and his friends on his podcast had said a few times they see writers improve dramatically after 3-5 years of consistent, deliberate effort. Sometines, in Dan Wells' case it took him 8 years. And that's not good as Shakespeare, but good enough. Just start and when you learn new aspects of writing improve on that too. It wont come easy but if you care you can do it. Be intentional.

>>20678151
Nah, too much I'll kys before, I will make a highly visual game instead, thanks and fuck you, I shit on literature.

>>20678139
>>20678142
nah, 2 years is more like it, the 2 days was just to fix formatting, 2 years ago I think that anything I wrote would've been actually unreadable to anyone, I would know since I wrote a script for a game review I never ended up doing and I was told as much, keep on it, don't give up, if it stresses you out take a break to decompress, take a hot bath and eat some comfort food, I am writing a 1500~ word chapter across a 20 hour day since my sleep is fucked, I can't just keep writing all the time.

>>20677775
>>20678151
Why you bitches trying to pep-talk this faggot?
He obviously can't do it.

>>20678151
>>20678163
I wasted one month writing, why waste more time? I don't know, I don't have natural talent, ROBERT KURVITZ IS A GOD.

>>20678155
Okay well do a flip for me.

Writing good fiction is too much work for too little reward.

>>20678168
Thanks to you and making me see reality, I will post every single day, I sleep 3 hours or 5, I have time, I will fuck you.

>>20678168
fuck off tripnigger, I hope that anon either finds the confidence to write or he finds a new hobby to help him calm down.

>>20678168
Again, this isn't me.

I am going to post here and whine and complain and stew in my own hatred for writing thanks to you SANGE.

>>20678191
annoying a tripfag is a good a calling as any.

Even if you did write a book, nobody is going to read it

What inspired me to write?
Philip K Dick, Hunter, Pynchon, Gibson, Strugatsky, I just don't have talent.
No, Robert Kurvitz has talent, I am a maggot.
>>20678195
Reason I wanted to make a VN/CYOA game, but I can't be a good writer and even Kojima runs circles around me, I will kill myself.

>>20678195
Furthermore, what the majority of your writings would not even be considered considered literature today. Most of you write pseudo intellectual slop that couldn't even be found in the bottom shelf of a local library shelves between George Martin and Stephanie Meyer. That's your problem. You write what is sellable today, then make it into a great story. Too many of you try to write a great story then sell it. Take what's popular then write a good story using those tropes. That's how you make it you fantasy chuds. Right now a dark Isekai power progression fantasy starring a strong woman is in. Write that. Not your thinly veiled sex fetishes.

>>20678223
Nobody cares faggot. Even if you had all the gifts in the world your reddit like attitude will cause you to never finish a piece.

>>20678193
I don't understand why people don't just filter more.

>>20678249
I just haven't gotten around to it, haven't been here long.

>>20678232
I don't give a shit if you call me reddit, there has never been a writer like me, an artist like me, blood, country, language, nothing like it. I am shit from birth, I am using a trip, if I ever make it I will share this post, I will remember it, I am shit, pure fucking shit, nothing more than shit, no talent, this is a warning, if I ever make it I remember this post I will share it and I pity anyone who has ever enjoyed something I might make, I don't think I will make anything but if I do I will SHARE THIS POST, I SWEAR
I AM SHIT
YOU ENJOY SHIT
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
WORTHLESS SHIT
THATS ALL I AM

>>20678223
Kojima is actually awful at subtlety, he robs the audience of it by over explaining most details. Maybe try actually writing to understand how something can get complicated. Stories and dialogue are often smarter than the writers because they are drafted multiple times. The genius wasnt first try. You have to learn a method, they work at it and you do too. Inspiration is only 10% of it. Eventually it becomes more unconscious but youre frustrated now because you dont write. Just write.

>>20678179
Bitch, the sooner he gives up on his dreams and finds a normal job the sooner he can get his life on track. Maybe he can have a nice family with kids and a dog and shit, but no, you bitches are trying to convince him to be a writer and ruin it for him!

>>20678189
Listen bitch, I'm not abandoning my trip because that will mean you won and I never fucking lose.

>>20678274
>I never fucking lose
>born in India

>>20678274
You can keep posting as me, it's actually kinda funny. Spread my shitposting seed everywhere.

>>20678289
You don't even sound like me faggot, like I said if you are going to do it do it right.

>>20678289
>>20678298
?
It's the same trip, homie. It's literally impossible for this to be two people, unless your trip is compromised.

>>20678274
All I care about is art, I have drawings, drawings, shit drawings that hold ideas but I should just burn them, I am nothing, embrace that nothing. True depression is frustration at not being able to do anything, at your current body shaped prison, a bullet will free my brain.
That tripfag told me I am the worst writer here, I agree, I am and will be, no change at all.
>>20678269
I am way worse than him, I am a hack in the making, rather spare dignity and end it.
What method? I have been trying to learn for one month, reading the books I love, I will never make it.

>>20678308
>>20677913

>>20678298
>you don't even sound like me

This is funny, it's like how trannies pretend to be women based off what they think a woman is.

Sange-imposter reddit tranny?

>>20678274
All I care about is art, I have drawings, drawings, shit drawings that hold ideas but I should just burn them, I am nothing, embrace that nothing. True depression is frustration at not being able to do anything, at your current body shaped prison, a bullet will free my brain.
That tripfag told me I am the worst writer here, I agree, I am and will be, no change at all.
>>20678269
I am way worse than him, I am a hack in the making, rather spare dignity and end it.
What method? I have been trying to learn for one month, reading the books I love, I will never make it.
>>20678325
>>20678289
>>20678298
Read why I posted, the shit text, what makes me shit other than the Dune thing, how can I be so bad? So terrible?

>>20678325
>>20678298
>>20678289
>>20678274
please close your browser

>>20678330
>been trying for one month
bro, you have barely started
For starters learn Scene Sequel format. Learn the MICE quotient. Learn grammar, rhetoric and literary devices . Just a little at a time. Learn how your genre works. Do writing exercises, listen to writer podcasts or essays every once in a while. Basically dont be scared of writing bad. Write and learn about writing, read and notice what the authors are doing.
Just today I was reading East of Eden and something happens in chapter 17 that fucking shocked me despite the scene before it hinting exactly at the possibility. You know why I got surprised? Because 3 times in the chapters leading to the event the character says she would do something different. It's all smoke and mirrors, friend. You can do the same techniques the greats did. Hell, McCarthy does the same thing in Blood Meridian like 3 times and he admits Steinbeck was an influence.

>Work is me I'll never be a dancer
>Please tell me I'll be a ballet wueen

>>20678420
>>20678429
I don't have talent, you saw my attempt, I am burning my project notes now.

>>20678325
Nope, still not doing it right. There is more to Sange than being obnoxious and offensive.
My charm can not be emulated, bitch.

>>20678437
I think you should circleback. When you edit, you can only change a few things at a time. It wont feel that good until you do more work. Both Clive Barker and Mary Robinette Kowal get depressed during drafts too, for similar reasons thinking they have no talent then they may stop writing for a spell. Yet they still write great stories and their struggled to learn too. You are gonna have to get over yourself and realize writing takes work, not a single flash of genius. Once you realize that it's never over you can continue. Like Kierkegaard wrote in F&T, it's not in accomplishing something that a man is made a hero but rather in that he began.

>>20678478
>talks in third person

>>20678325
Listen bitch, it's like this.
If you want to be me you have to BE me, not just be me.
Get it?

>someone made a nice comment on my story
I didn't expect anyone to read anything I put out for quite some time, makes me glad that I decided to do something instead of spending all day listening to music, reading, and playing video games.

>>20678499
It wasn't worth it.

20678515
totally was, and unless you've written anything worth reading I don't care, actually, even if you have written anything good I still don't care, go back to your designated shitting street.

>recently got really good at drawing
>just looking at a piece of art now gives me a ton of insight into the artist's process and mindset
>allows me to effortlessly analyze good techniques, what works and what doesn't, how to use them in my work without copying etc
>realize I'm not even 1/100 of the way there for such insight into writing and that I'm comparatively stumbling in the dark

Fuck, what can I do to learn more efficiently that's not just writing because lack of ideas was the main thing impeding my art gains as well, read more is an obvious one but there's really not many good works in the style of what I'm trying to write

>>20678499
>doesn't even capitalize
>somehow still gets positive comment
Are people on royalroad retarded?

>>20678550
yes?

What are some good websites to put pieces on and post them here for critique?

>>20678550
everything being free leads to low standards

>>20677642
Maybe you should work on your run-on sentences for a start.

>>20678748
Be more specific, what am I doing wrong?

>>20678876
If you need to ask, I suggest you learn what a run-on sentence is first

>>20678916
I'm not fucking stupid. I know I read like shit.
I'm well aware but I was asking for more information. What went wrong earlier? You think your little tripcode over there is something? Piss me off and you'll have me posting here on the daily. Making this place unbereable. I will fuck you to death.
When I ask you something I want it done.

/wg/ is when you take all your vulnerability and dreams then put it on a public space where thousands of lurkers will see it or posters will shit on it like open defecation in the streets… yep, that’s a-writing meat-a-ball!

I just want to reiterate this is my new tripcode.

>>20678876
Too many clauses that are barely related without stopping. Learn about sentence flow. Simple, Compound and Complex sentences of various types. Parentheses to de-emphasize, commas and colons for neutral pauses, em-dashes for emphatic pauses, etc.
You don't always have to change the order that you present your ideas, but the way you logically relate them and pace how you say them affects the mood of your writing.
I am not the most eloquent on these effects yet, but it is like breathing or singing, there is a cadence. I like to give the example of Faulkner. In the short story "The Brooch" he starts with a simple sentence, then follows with a very complex one to end the first paragraph. What this does is first start with an urgent action that occurs fast, then follows with a "leisurely" droning on of mundane yet dark events. However, it's the context of the sentence that determines how that all feels. For Faulkner's voice, it often comes off as something stark with his short sentences, and with his huge run-on paragraphs as almost a persistent torture. Imagine if all of them were single sentences.

Here's another more tedious example from Hemingway:
>Nick was happy as he crawled inside the tent.
>He had not been unhappy all day.
>This was different though.
>Now things were done.
>There had been this to do.
>Now it was done.
>It had been a hard trip.
>He was very tired.
>That was done.
>He had made his camp.
>He was settled.
>Nothing could touch him.
>It was a good place to camp.
>He was there, in the good place.
>He was in his home where he had made it.
>Now he was hungry
No complex sentences here, but look at the number of syllables and words in the sentences, you can even see as the successive sentences contract and expand. Imagine if all the sentences were 6 syllables, it would have no feeling of change to it at all. At the start, Nick is happy and the sentences are a bit longer, then he grows tense with exhaustion and all the sentences get shorter. Then he relaxes again for two brief sentences until he realizes he's hungry, his call to action, and has to get back out of the tent. While Hemingway uses far more simple sentences than other writers, you can still see him adjusting his flow logically with the feeling of what he wants to say.
Good flow comes with the variation of sentence structures. You can only be monotonous for so long, and complex sentences get harder to understand as you go on. Anon is saying your run on sentence is tough to comprehend. Sometimes lack of clarity or exhaustion is exactly the point, but for general writing you want to avoid too many clauses in a sentence.

>>20678079

No it does not read well. Your issue is that you are using commas in place of periods!

Use periods and it would probably read fine, but hard to tell until you make the change.

>>20678924
No.

>>20679005
>>20679008
>>20679007
FUCK YOU WHY AM I SHIT? WHY? WHY AM I SHIT? WHY AM I SHIT? WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?
LOBOTOMY WOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF THIS
I WOULD RATHER NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN AT ALL
I AM STILL IN TIME TO PERFORM ONE
LOAD .45 INTO THE GUN, FOREHEAD
END IT, RECTUM

>>20677878

I would drop the last three sentences.

Is this the whole story though? If so, I would end it with "it's on the house," and drop everything after that.

Otherwise, it's mostly okay except for the "wall of text" thing, making it difficult to read. Maybe break it down into more than one paragraph.

>>20679016
It lacks flavor.
Maybe it's because it's an excerpt, so it lacks context, but I don't know why I'm supposed to care about any of it.

>>20679033
>>>/vg/391930515
>>>/vg/391929804
>>>/vg/391928380
I lack talent, comes down to that.

>>20679049
Embrace your inner David Bowie doing chink eyes.
I believe in you.

>>20679007
is this better? I feel I should say I am an idiot who has forgotten almost everything about proper sentence structuring and punctuation, due to a multi-year depressive state and just being a lazy shit and not doing my schoolwork. I am relying on a sentence checker as well as how I think something sounds when read aloud to try and correct my mistakes.
>>20679033
that isn't me your replying too, and about it being out of context, I maybe should've just posted the entire chapter here to pursue with that as just a section to draw people in. the context is that the person telling the story is the uncle of the main character who is a soldier, he only comes over when he has leave and he came early and stayed longer due to a promotion, the story was also told to make his nieces quiet down since he brings them gifts whenever he visits.
out of universe I wrote it to explain some of what the soldiers on the frontier are dealing with and the magical creatures of the world. and then to also go into a small outburst where he is clearly upset over the things he has seen as well as the main character (who is still a child) showing great interest in monsters.
I don't know if that helps with your connection to the story or not, I am a very new writer and I am probably going to write my story regardless of who reads it but I am also trying not to put out something that is unreadable due to poor formatting.
run on sentences is the biggest issue since I just overuse commas without thinking enough about it.

i dont even fucking write lmfao

What the hell happened?

>>20679089
this is a general, schizos and tripfag attention whores are common place.

>>20679089
i'VE COME TO terms with me being the worst writer out there
ill nev er make my game nor the book
>>20679084

>>20676480
Hopefully he took it to ScribbleHub or WattPad or DeviantArt or something.

>>20678178
Try telling that to Andy Weir.

>>20678195
Nobody need your demotivational pseuding.
Go seethe.

>>20679216
He is extremely far and away the most incredible outlier you could possibly imagine.

>>20679096
You'll never be the worst writer.
(How's THAT for reverse demotivation? LOL)

>>20679242
My current plan is to get a plug and overdose on meth.

>>20679223
Yeah...by pure chance, he spent several decades writing and honing his craft, and then out of nowhere, he writes a book people like and want to read.
Real outlier there. Can't imagine how he got so lucky.

>>20679247
Oh, quit your whining.
You're a drama queen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dawR-dPdkY

>>20679254
Read my shit, I'll never make something like Disco Elysium.

>>20679257
Not without a lot more practice, you won't.

>>20679067
>no one was hurt yet
no one had gotten hurt yet
>but the cows kept disappearing
but cows kept disappearing
>into thin air
redundant, remove
>It wasn't until we got... and glowing is pretty noticeable.
this whole sentence is a mess, like 3 different sentences squashed together and out of order.
>took a couple fingers though
Mechanically this seems strange after being shoved out of the way to lose fingers. Maybe he lost a hand instead? How about the captain was never shoved out of the way, he used his hand to try and stop the Hati from biting him, and his hand was bitten as a result.
>it probably realized he was an archer and wanted to be able to flee if needed
remove. pure speculation, retarded speculation, at that
>so I quickly regrew his fingers
huh
>I never did it before
oh boy
This seems like a perfect place for show, not tell. Maybe go through the motions of showing the guy magically regrow the captain's fingers. Because as it is it's super glossed over and weird because of that.
>he loosed an arrow at it
So the placement of all these figures is off. The thing is close enough to cut off his fingers, but now it's in bow range. Figure out where everything is.
>we cleaned up the wargs and got back to town
Like, this is another great place for show not tell. This paragraph could be an entire chapter by itself. I assume hati is a warg?
>The last sentence, like, you would be so much better served with people talking to each other with like dialogue instead of this surface level retelling.

New thread >>20679279
Maybe there'll be less cringe...

>>20679257
Disco Elysium is an extremely high bar, anon. That's like getting pissed you'll never make the olympics before you even set foot in a gym to train. Even if you don't make it, the journey of improvement is worth at least a college try.

>>20679287
Then why try? Why shouldn't I just accept that I'm mediocre? Mediocre genes that make me inferior at writing and art and end it.
You either do something or not, all the way or not. You're useful or not, what justifies my existence? If I can't make something good over and over, ever, then my existence has no justification, I have to end it.
2nd place is useless.
I have a good concept, not idea, but concept, I know which ideas and philosophies references, I've built the mandala, but I can't write it.

>>20679276
typed out like that I see that yes posting anything out of context none of it makes sense, I will rewrite that and try to stop writing things at 2AM when I'm not thinking straight, its a fantasy story, hence regrowing fingers, I maybe I should just say that he actually lost his hand and a couple inches past the wrist, with the fingers being a cover up of the gory details for his nieces.
a hati is a magical wolf, in this world as things grow older they get stronger and more importantly they grow smarter, hence it targeting the archer, what a hati is is explained just after that.
I should've thought of it more from the point of view of someone who doesn't know these things
since much of this is stuff I made up, though also I am trying to explain it during the chapter.
as for why things are skimmed over, in part the character explaining this is telling this to people who are fairly young as well as his sister who he is trying not to pile extra worries on.
Now I think I should write out what actually happened in an interlude before the chapter or just add it into the chapter, I am still learning and looking for advice, so I appreciate your post.

>>20679308

>>20679096
Oh, dear God, you're spazzing over here too... >>20678375
"Drama queen" is too kind of a term to describe you.

>>20679248
You are so fucking retarded. I can't even spend time explaining to you how stupid you are because it won't do a lick of good.

>>20679649
That's OK.I wouldn't accept your pseud explanation anyway.

>>20679276
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oumbgWwNlroF1vLg6UneSxp4G4gyOKWnW_97aME9u0A/edit?usp=sharing
if you have any interest in it I decided to write what the actual story of the warg hunt is.
I had a great time writing this and I am very glad you posted that which lead to this being made.
I was already thinking about maybe making interludes since I feel I've grown closer to these characters, but this seals the deal for me.
and I do hope my formatting and punctuation is at least passable now, but tell me if I am deluding myself.

If Lord of the Rings was posted on Royal Road and somehow nobody knew about it, how do you think it would fair with a chapter a week schedule.