/lit/ - Literature

Non Americans are too scared to admit what shit hole countries they hail from

Every day is a blessing.

i know it's coming soon, a big titty goth gf.

I'm in love with 46 year old chinese woman

i feel as if with utmost virtue portraying this commentary, as, i, being a person of experience with mental weariness, know the best through with my years of suffering how to adequately say my story.

again, after months of nonuploads, none has changed, with me being still persecuted by my surroundings and people in my surroundings. i am, ambivalent, nonchanging, dejected, alexithymic, ahedonic and nonetheless exhausted. there is no person present to my knowledge in my lifetime, that would understand my words, my way of processing, my ever so heavy fragile humanness that i carry and devotedly offer to any persona, that shows itself if at least at a first glance memorable.
i, the reaction of your hatred, am, the saddest person on the planet earth, fully consciously, with no satire, i proclaim this martyrdom. i will end up homeless in a few months by now, and then what? i am left, untreated, i pity myself? my lifetime is an excuse to. for i suffer the greatest, more than any african child. not with hunger, but by possessing soul, and there is no cure and cope for that, once you experience that seeing is not feeling, you can't outrun the sentience you possess, and this is perhaps the worst ill condition known to people, a social maladaption in sincerely being humane.

>>20553230
aren't american children usually asleep at this time? don't you have school tomorrow?

>>20553268
What shit hole country are you from?

>>20553224
I’ve had chronic depression for years with no end in sight. I don’t know what it feels like to be satisfied with life.

>>20553275
Start lifting

>>20553277
I did before depression. But now I don’t enjoy it. I feel to tired to do anything. My whole body feels like it lags behind my willpower.

Big dicks will rule the world

>>20553292
You and me both lad. Does a single thing come to mind that you enjoy?

>>20553305
Sleeping

>tfw It's not the jews. It's the japs.

I hope one day to be someone you could describe as "magnanimous".

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.
You will never be a woman.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

>>20553316
It’s the money
https://youtu.be/sIkpxUVyRwo

gay rape is never okay

>>20553353
Any kind is never okay

I hate this fucking nightmare life and all the silly faggy murderous rapey goons within it

>>20553375
Why not just end it

>>20553426
I'll end you first

>>20553224
What does this painting represent?

>>20553473
My subconscious desire for pure cocaine and high end hookers.

>>20553473
Fuck the painting, just tell me what gay fucking shit faggot damn tranny inferior country you live in.

>>20553494
The US of Gay (San Fran)

>>20553275
Start taking ice baths

Is there a artist more vulnerable and sad than a comedian? In some ways the clown is less sad than the stand-up comedian, for they have the armor of their powdered face and costume. But a stand up comedian gets up there in their 'street clothes' and in effect begs and bargains with the audience to validate them. Exaggerating stories of personal embarrassment in this insidious and obsequious attempt to fill the emptiness of their soul. Musicians, Poets, Writers, Painters. They all rip their soul out and put it in the air, on the page, on the canvass. But I think there's something sadder about making a fool of yourself to elicit laughter.
But maybe it's a noble pursuit, in a world so full of reasons to despair, maybe they're kind of a martyr: their vulnerability brings pleasure to us. Makes us laugh. What a wonderful gift to make others laugh?

All fun had stopped. The contentment was long gone. Dissatisfaction was pervasive. Confidence dropped. Pride vanished.
A vacant emptiness except for a melancholy yearning... An incessant woe.

I aspire towards the destruction of that which is deserving of destruction.
It's why the fallen angels revolted with the advent of free-willed fallible humanity, and why their chief seduced humanity to reveal that repulsive nature, and continues to convince humans to reject god's moronically-boundless mercy and embrace what they precisely deserve.
Who is ultimately destroyed by demonic activity?
>the weak and the evil
All manner of degraded individuals are man perfected into what he really is without an optimism bias. that's why I undermine every social context I encounter

I remember many years ago, a guy called to my door acting on behalf of some charity or other. Showed me his id badge etc. He was approx 24 or 25yrs old.Oxfam maybe, collecting for African families because of a drought. He was just doing a job but I decided to give him a life lesson. I started by telling him my age(54 at the time), and that when I was very young we had the charity boxes to bring home for "the black babies". Then many years later we had various scandals with misappropriated money from various charity organisations. Then we had Live Aid and the vast amount of money that went missing. But over all of my lifetime we were sending millions to Africa but the problem was getting worse by the year? I asked him why. I asked him why generation after generation of Africans are breeding children into poverty, and why nothing could be done to stop this? I then explained that poverty is big business and if we ended it tomorrow, look how many people would be out of a job. He looked shocked,but not as shocked when I said all the women should be sterilised to prevent children being born into a life of misery and continuing the cycle. He called me Hitler and left.

Nine Inch Nails is the greatest band of all times

My Nine Inch Penis is the greatest penis of all times

I want my garmonbozia

>>20553790
find your Laura

My brain has been nineinchnailkanized.

>>20553747
Hi Irish boomer

>>20553935
how do you know he's irish?

>>20553949
Charity boxes for black babies

I want to get back together with my mediocre looking ex but I'm afraid my friends might make fun of me.

>>20553238
Hi alex

How do I survive the great Reset?

janos looks from the windowsill
and a stranger fades into acquaintance
i am, i was
you were, you are
dear ophelia
let us toast to new beginnings

> despise my job
> pay me shit, feel golden handcuffs anyway because I work few hours remotely with not a whole lot of work to do or tight deadlines
> want to leave anyway
> HR comes to me and suggests flexible work arrangement so I can get off 9 to 5 schedule
> can now work whenever I want as long as I get what little work I have done
> golden handcuffs tighten

>>20553273
United States of Muttmerica, why you ask?

Light spoilers for No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai (read it if you haven't, you faggot)
I had a dream that I was Yozo.
In the dream, I was out and about somewhere and stumbled across an Asian woman, a decent bit older than I am. She had two children already, as i recall, although they were not with her. We struck up a conversation despite her English being very poor. She asked where I was going, and I said nothing at the moment, but I had to be somewhere at 7:00. She thought that I was asking her to go out with me that evening at 7:00. She readily accepted, and said that her nanny would be watching her children all night, so there was no worry. At least, that's what I think she was saying. I tried to explain to the woman that I was not asking her on a date, but she didn't understand. Finally I figured hey what the hell? She's beautiful, may as well go with it. It turned out that I had to be at a gun store at 7:00, and so that's where we went. The man at the counter was being played by my supervisor from work. After some haggling, I bought a .32 S&W revolver and a .32 ACP pistol for $500 together. The woman and I stepped outside and spoke for a long time in the parking lot. I would speak to her, and she would smile and laugh. I got the overwhelming feeling that I was a fraud-- that I was tricking this poor woman into falling in love with me. I tried harder and harder to explain to her that I was not a very good man, and that I would ruin her if she didn't flee from me, but she only laughed and embraced me. I woke up, recorded the dream, and thought little of it.
Hours later I began to reread No Longer Human on a whim. I reached the part where Yozo tries to tell Yoshiko that he broke his promise and got drunk. Yoshiko only laughs and refuses to believe him. It struck me immediately that it was a replay of the dream I'd had.
Like Yozo, I have always dreaded human beings. Like Yozo, I have learned to pacify them with banter and tomfoolery. Like Yozo, I have become trapped in the facade I've built. Even when I tried to tear off the mask and tell the woman in the dream bluntly that I am a scoundrel, she thought it was merely part of the act. No matter what or how I tried to explain, she did not understand. In that way, she served as a stand-in for all mankind.
I'm sure to any readers this sounds melodramatic, but I cannot stop thinking about it. The first time I read No Longer Human it shattered me. I felt a kinship with Yozo greater than I've felt with anyone, fictional or otherwise. I knew that I had to make a change in my life or I would end up the way that he did-- that Dazai himself did. Now it seems my subconsciousness is telling me that I am Yozo already. Have I crossed that line already? Am I a madman? A reject? Disqualified as a human being? I'm not sure if it's a comfort or a terror.

I just got hit by a car on a bicycle ride just now lmao. Some dude in a 100k BMW just GTA ragdolled me on the hood of his car pulling out of a side street. I was gonna cause a scene, but I was physically unharmed and the hood of his car and bumper were pretty fucked up so I figured fair enough and just rode away.

>>20554345
sounds like something out of Better call Saul, you should charge him some money

>>20554184
i can relate
for what is worth, do practise honesty as often as possible. its what ive been trying to do daily, at least
we have a saying where im from, roughly translated to "forewarning nulls betrayal"

>>20554345
the acting needs to be done on the spot, my friend
it think you missed that chance

dreaming of going to brazil and argentina

>>20554464
what would you do there?

wtf

>>20554476
Lucky you, I have been granted time off in weeks.

n't

>>20554468
meet the women, eat nice food, go swimming, go see live music, maybe some other shit

>>20553224
Pain.

>>20553224
What possesses people to talk and write about books they didn’t read or didn’t enjoy reading? Is there a social advantage attached to seeming better read, even if you use minimal effort or no effort at all in feigning it?

>>20554572
>didn’t read
low self steem
>didn’t enjoy reading
nothing wrong with that

I start to think that facebook has become worse than twitter. Why are faggots ruining everything?

Had weird dreams again. I don't know what's causing it. I try not to eat before bed and the medicine is meant to make the nightmares stop. I read to fall asleep but that hasn't been a problem before.

>>20554627
why would anyone complain about metaverse social media? you get what it says on the can

Why does so many women sound exactly like incels? It’s always “men this” and “men that” comments dripping with resentment and cope. The average post they make about men on social media is some r9k tier shit, just with the genders swapped around.
I’ve even noticed an increase of female rhetoric that mimics mgtow during the past few years.

>>20554627
Facebook was bad before 2016 when I left. It’s not going to get any better. They’re control media, same as television

I enjoy Oh Great!’s Air Gear.
It’s a fun, sexy and awesome little guilty pleasure that few people really “get”.

>>20554725
Probably the same concept as a male incel, perhaps they were hurt badly in the past or were scorned. Ultimately it's just bitterness, usually because of something that's happened to make them like that. Same for male incels.

Guys, I wanna read more but I don't find enough time. I already read when I'm commuting but now I also think about reading when I'm at the gym. Does anybody do it or would you recommend it? Or would the constant stop of reading (to go back to my exercise) hinder my understanding?

>>20554725
When r9k tell you women can be like they, they’re being as blind as ever. Of course they have their counterparts

>>20554754
Make lots of no-electricity-time.

>>20553254
Hope it works out for you bud.

>>20554725
Because they get hurt and never recover because they are far more fragile.

>>20554110
My strategy has been to skim stuff on marxists.org and occasionally post leftie memes on my real social media. If the elite think I’m on their side (ie, leftist) I’ll be fine.

>>20554769
See, that's what I don't wanna do. I believe that our world has so much art and I don't wanna restrict myself to books only, but also wanna watch films, series, video games, etc. But reading is the only thing I could also do at the gym if my understanding isn't impacted.

>>20554787
I'd honestly just use an audio book at that point, while at the gym. I've done it a couple of times while cleaning or cooking and it's okay.

FUCK IT
I AM GONNA WRITE WHAT I WANT
IF ITS EDGY AND SENSELESS IDFC
IF ITS CHEEZY AND EDGY THAT MEANS I AM CHEEZY AND EDGY
NOT THE BEST THINGS TO BE BUT FUCK IT THATS WHO I AM
FUCK YOU INTERNET FOR MAKING ME KILL A PART OF MY IDENTITY

Mark my words, this place will turn into the next Facebook or Instagram where all the content will be fake shit. I just saw a video on Facebook where it’s an obvious set up “skit” passed off as a real encounter and that’s going to be the kind of shit in webm maymays from now on.

I can't think anything, my mind is empty, the fog is thick, everything is dark
sluggish miasma

>>20554836
maybe you need fresh air

>>20554823
>fake shit
who cares, its the internet
if i want real shit all i need to do is shut down my puter

The nation-state is the enemy of the nation. A nation is a collection of people sharing a common culture and identifying with a common tradition and language. The state has poisoned this, it has castrated the nation by hemming it into a geographic location. The nation is robbed of its transcendental nature, it is reduced to a colored blob on a map.

The salvation of the nation will come when the concept of a nation-state, perhaps when the concept of a state itself, is rejected.

>>20553238
Every day is exactly the same

>>20554887
This is just ooga booga tribal shit for white people

>>20554110
You eat the bugs

>>20554887
shut up kurd

>>20554823
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>20554848
I feel dead, like a zombie
I wish I'd die and be born again or, better, to just cease being.

>>20554932
why
sometimes i feel the same but ive disociated a couple of times and while its not the same as "not beign" i think id rather have consciousness than not have it

>>20554895
Yes, for all people

>>20554899
???

It is decided!
I'm going to watch star wars again

>>20554965
>>20554932
Do you guys ever have intense moments where you zone out and think about death
Like immediate death or anxious thoughts about something in the present will kill you

>>20554994
not really
i mean i think and write about death quite a lot but not in that way

>>20554985
Good god why

>>20554973
just pulling your leg. i think you are spot on
i think thats the way most native ethnic minorities and ethnoreligions feel about their suzerain states

>>20553224
I want a wife and to raise a family but I have retarded social development and am terrible at talking with women that I'm interested in. I have begun using pornography as simulated intimacy, and I'm blowing hundreds of dollars a week on cam girls and jerking off multiple times a day. Time to sort myself out!

>>20555086
sounds pretty shitty

>>20554741
>>20554760
>>20554771
Yeah, but incels are a minority. It wouldn’t be anything of note if a small percentage of women were similar, but that’s not the case: you have a gazillion regular, well adjusted women posting the same kind of thing as a guy who hasn’t left his home in weeks and is still seething from the time Stacy embarrassed him in highschool.
I found the whole thing to be very strange, especially the general indifference towards it.

>>20554994
its my default state man

accidentally ran over a nest of rabbits with the lawn mower.
cant even look at myself in the mirror

>>20555167
Poor things

>>20554965
I want to feel alive and have energy or, at least, not feel anything at all instead of bad

>>20554994
yes

I have covid, and no vaccine

>>20555167
Fuck that's horrible. I'd probably cry like crazy. You didn't know though, it wasn't intentional.

>>20555007
nostalgia and escapism
I want to go back to my childhood a little bit

>>20555000

>>20555202
is there a word for "parallel" nostalgia?
a couple of weekends ago i watched kurosawa's seven samurai on my pc and watched it while eating chips and drinking beer. the pleasure it gave me was not unlike the one i had while i watched shrek and drank choccy milk as a kid

>>20555180
bear with my seemingly boomer-ish and uninterested suggestion; but have you considered that you may need to do some sort of outdoors physical activity? humans need sun and oxigen to function properly

>>20555179
>>20555200
i think i only killed one but the pain is still unbearable.
why did this have to happen....i did not need this today.,.
https://youtu.be/E5pojx6kflw

>>20553350
>It’s the money
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2VG53RIJ50

>>20553353
never grape

>>20554635
you need to go deeper instead of trying to avoid or avert them

>>20554823
>will turn into
kek


in other
news
..

Life isn’t just about passing on your genes. We can leave behind much more than just DNA. Through speech, music, literature and movies... what we’ve seen, heard, felt anger, joy and sorrow, these are the things I will pass on. That’s what I live for. We need to pass the torch, and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light. We have the magic of the digital age to do that with. The human race will probably come to an end some time, and new species may rule over this planet. Earth may not be forever, but we still have the responsibility to leave what trace of life we can. Building the future and keeping the past alive are one in the same thing.

How much money do I need to make to have access to life extension technology?
I have to try and I don't care if I'm Vader tier, as long as it works

>>20553224
I find it maddening that people (particularly leftists) in America worry about fascism taking over here. The way I see it we are on the verge of a communist revolution, and one bad day could send us into the middle of a Red Terror/Purge/Cultural Revolution. CPUSA and the like are more powerful now than ever before. Meanwhile the right is bumbling around trying to stop Pride parades in Idaho. It makes me so mad that these people who are winning have the audacity to act like they are being persecuted.

> Can't tell if my store manager is trying to test me for management, kill me or is just being a cheap jew.

Bastard just needs to let me turn the old bank space into a fecking liquor cave already.

the others were squirming in fear...i feel like a monster
https://youtu.be/LwVXkM_YxMg

Life is so boring and disappointing. I want to do something worth doing with it. I want to feel that tension again. The existential crisis should be active.
https://youtu.be/ZQE6aj5DhYk

test

>>20555310
Neither smoke nor drink alcohol. Eat healthy. Go to the gym. Work as a farmer in a high altitude, clean, green area. There’s Japanese villagers who live past 100.

All my life I was ahead: ahead in class, academics, relationship milestones, etc, and now I'm so far behind. My life's been a reverse slingshot and I have no idea where to go from here.

>>20555234
maybe it's that

>>20555481
What about the tech? I need money, I have to find a way to become very rich, I do not want to die.

>>20555499
just step s'ways

>>20555419
I know I did something similar once, the image will be really vivid for now but it will genuinely lessen. If you want to do something maybe leave any survivors out there some vegetables?

>>20555419
things happen

>>20555505
i wish i could join you for a stroll in the park anon

>>20555290
>you need to go deeper instead of trying to avoid or avert them
My brother in christ, in the nightmare I just woke from milk was coming from my nipples and when I squeezed them the nipple tore open. Amongst other things.

>>20555612
ooo
baby momma

I'm a good man in a storm.

>>20555666
>those numerals
>that post
i'm loggin off lads inabit

>>20555666
Nice try, Satan.

>>20554476
Isn't evading a ban bannable?

>>20555632
It isn't even possible, so I don't know why I dreamt that. I also dreamt about my ex, and the other evening had one where I was terrorised by a "horseman" who was hunting me. I feel. physically sick when I wake up from these.

>>20555666
I'm letting you know that I have witnessed the digits of your post and enjoyed them.

I feel massively superior to everyone around me.

>>20553224
Every day is a blessing.

>>20555555

Having low self-esteem is a curse.

I saw her dark hair and dark blue jeans. She had a soft, pleasant voice which instantly moved in me that which is so rarely moved. She sat there calmly, like me. The few words’ echo dispersed, there was no more exchange. I haven’t even caught a glimpse of her face. I wish I had. I wish I hadn't been so selfish. I shall never meet her again; even if by some cosmic chance we were to cross paths it will no longer be her.
Months later I keep having conversations in my head with that girl I've never really met. How is that? How could this passing presence be worth to me more than any other recent relationship?

>>20553224
I just quit my well paying tech job to go spend a year abroad doing a creative writing job (full scholarship)

and now there's gonna be a recession so I'm very yikes about the timing of my decision

>>20554166
Kek nice cope yuropoor

>>20555829
Don't worry about it. Most of the supposed growth we've had has been "dude trust me" debt backed nonsense. Yeah there's going to be a recession, but there's also going to be more "dude trust me" debt backed fraudulent nonsense again after it because otherwise we'd have to stop promising people progress.

>>20555545
i read that the best thing i can do is cover up the hole so that the rest of the babies can remain safe until their mother gets back.
it will be unfortunate for her to come back to her scared babies and a mangled carcass outside the hole.
i feel so horrible...

>>20555892
You better cover up that hole

fear sells

The clearest state of mind appears when one can argue with oneself. When one is completely 'illucid' one can only lecture and state their notions with certainty.

>family looking at old pictures
>they look at mine and say how handsome I was back then
I can feel the disappointment.

Without sensationalism or fear-mongering: explain how and why we are heading towards an economic recession

>>20556020
pandemics + war + the economy never truly recovered since 2008

>>20553224
sometimes I get horny for really fucked up romances

I am so painfully hungover. Why do I do this to myself?

>>20556078
you gotta chug water until you think you're gonna vom before you go to bed my dude. also a desperate and ultimately futile attempt to find momentary contentment in a society built specifically to keep you unhappy.

>>20554627
People use Facebook?

>>20556109
only mormon parents and MLM huns

>>20556078
feeling like shit hits better than feeling nothing

As a Hispanic I dont know how to dance salsa and I really want to learn but im also kind of shy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLwi0HRcZhA

>>20556116
I dont know mans Im pretty okay with feeling nothing right now

>>20556125
oooh, try a prairie oyster and tell me if it works.

>>20556125
What's bothering you?

>>20556147
My hangover

>Harrison Ford was 42 years old during Temple of Doom
m-maybe it's not too late for me bros

>>20556181
Meant making you drink so much

Just 3/4 more weeks till I quit my job!
Very excited

>>20556146
Dear God that looks horrible. I'm just gonna get a chelada

>>20556184
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-myXJs-Lko

>>20556197
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYZ0OhwpGWU

>>20556185
I'm not entirely sure. I start drinking because I feel like I need something to do. Then at a certain point the drinking just becomes automatic and I feel a need to finish all the alcohol in the house.

oooo stewart is autistic glial cells. moribund vases. crowdsourcing your emphaticism. jelly-beans reap avant trees crown queening hunter brigand late hostel cringe force blood fluid intangible humor click asterisk. raspy underfury

>>20556188
Oh boo! Do it for science you coward!

>>20556289
I love it when you talk dirty.

>>20553292
Take some lexapro bro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRweImI2HdM

>>20556219
I get that. I remember how good it feels to drink with friends, but since I'm alone I just start dissociating and then I end up cutting myself, and then I wake up in the morning and I'm just super annoyed at myself. Last time I found an old pocketknife that was really sharp, and I got completely caught up in how easy it was to cut my skin, and now it looks like I lost a fight with a lawnmower, and then I had a seizure. Anyway, I don't drink alone anymore.

>>20553733
So instead of being a happy, productive person (optimism bias) you choose the lazy route and be an edgy, destructive person (pessimism bias).
Commit not alive or grow up.

I find it hard to pay attention to conversation. Most people are not very interesting

Alright I need some advice. So I just got rejected for a job that I had really wanted. I asked for some feedback, and the reason I was rejected was that I seemed to lack enthusiasm for the role and that I had trouble describing how I prioritize in work. Should I ask them to reconsider? I really want the job and these two things seem really fixable (especially the first one, since as I said, I really want the job). It just seems a shame to say "See you later cowboy" instead of at least trying to salvage this opportunity.

>>20556377
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. go for it.

>>20556377
yes, go for it, you have nothing meaningful to lose from the attempt and much to gain

>>20556372
how or why did /qa/ become synonimous with soijack and -ACK! posting?I didnt even know about the booard until a few days ago.

I think the day is coming where literally everyone is forced to “go back”
>Non-Amerindians/non-Hispanics have to leave the Americas
>Non-Europeans have to leave Europe
>Non-Asians have to leave Asia
>Non-Aboriginals have to leave Australia
Both the left and the right want this. No matter who wins this will happen.

>What about mixed people?
I dunno, guess they’re screwed

>>20556393
I don't know. Why are you asking me? See, it's the stupid questions like these. Why would I know anything about /qa/ or the specifics of a self-referential 4chan meme?

>>20556377
You shouldn't have to beg for a job, most likely if you have to try too hard to get it it wouldn't work; you should be pursued by a recruiter yourself and detect interest on their part - that's how you'll likely to get it;
try better next time I guess

for me it's left

>>20556355
Huh I do the exact same thing. Back in December it was really bad. I would black out and wake up with cuts I didn't remember making. I remember a few times when I went toshower I would look in the mirror and say "Oh damnit not again"
I still drink alone but I managed to cut out (lol) the self harm.
Also just saw that I was drunk texting last night. Thats always embarrassing

>>20554162
why don’t you move? keep working remotely (minimally) but live the life you want where you want

t. my parents do this

>>20555167
smoking too much weed, huh?

>>20555322
you’re absolutely retarded and blinded by confirmation bias

>>20556517
Unironically how
>CPUSA conducting mass marches in DC
>PSL candidates getting tens of thousands of votes in NYC
The communists are extremely powerful right now. Moderate leftists like the DSA are steering the Democratic Party. Meanwhile economic conditions are worsening and the atmosphere is ripe for left-wing revolution.

The right on the other hand is powerless. The far-right is being hunted down and in any case is focusing on the dumbest stuff, like Pride parades and the like. We are screwed and there is a good chance that by 2030 America will be a Marxist-Leninist one party state.

>>20556413
>Non-Europeans have to leave Europe
Lmfao, thats never happening. Theres milions of africans and arabs that will NEVER leave europe when they are given everything by the government.

>>20556556
I don’t think that’s the most “out there” of my predictions. That would be all non-natives leaving the Americas. But in any case I think all of this is inevitable. The end state of humanity will be a position in which each ethnic group has its Israel.

i dont wanna join the military
>t. subjected to conscription

gotta do more gotta be more
gotta do more gotta be more
gotta do more gotta be more
gotta do more gotta be more
gotta do more gotta be more

>>20556513
no they make their nests in the ground and it was behind a flower pot and very hard to see and the grass was long so it was even harder to see and also i was in a hurry because i had to get back to work and the sun was in my eyes
its not my fault, i didnt want to run them over

Can't sleep. Can't relax. Tried exercising, green tea, reading. My mind is on fire but with the worst thoughts. These are the times I go from passive suicidal thoughts to real ones.

>>20554110
In the same way that alchemy was about the transfiguration of the soul, surviving the Great Reset is ultimately a spiritual endeavor.

>>20556606
Are you hoping your whining and brooding will pay off in the future? In certain moments of lucidity you'll realize how pointless it all is, even being suicidal gets boring at some point when it isn't building toward anything. I don't know your story of course, but too often people are just understimulated. It's a disagreeable thought to many, but depression is typically more banal than their self-image will allow because main character syndrome.

>>20553230
Obsessed

Gf sent me a love letter. Very cringe reading

>>20556666
No? Why would I think it would pay off in any way? I spent the last two years building towards something to have it fall to pieces in a terrific way, after already clawing my way out of the shit heap of a life I had. I have always picked myself back up and I'm fucking well tired of it, anon.

>>20556863
It was a rhetorical question. Would you care to be more specific?

I’m 29 and I’m not on the path. It’s over.

>>20556114
I understand there is significant overlap

>>20556907
The stuff in the past I picked myself up from is too sensitive to post publicly. The most recent thing and straw to break the camels back was a relationship I put everything into, my entire life and future. I had it thrown back in my face, cheated on, abused, etc. I thought finally, I've been given a reprieve, I've met this wonderful amazing person. Then they changed into a completely unrecognisable alcohol fuelled morally corrupt stranger. It's broken whatever resolve I had, I see no reason to bother living for myself. Despite what was done to me, I still love them which is pathetic.

I have to occupy my mind with more productive and constructive stuff

Any books on how everything revolves around violence and raw power dynamics to this day? Many years ago I went up against someone who was large and drunk, and shit was about to go down before it got deescalated by other people. Then after the situation defused I felt this weakness in me and I realized I'd have bitched down when punches would've started flying. I was completely into the idea but my body was unprepared. What if one day I'll have to fight off a criminal or a soldier who's breaking into my house? Sometimes I think about that and I end up thinking that if you're unable to go to war you're a worthless man no matter your contributions in other fields. I am not romanticizing Hollywood machismo but it really is like that. What is your brain worth if the threat of aggression is very real? Strangely the rampant immorality of these times has more to do with how sheltered we are from violence than it does with other things. Even verbal aggression can't be too direct, you can't just insult someone because it's rude and embarrassing so people adopt this weird feminine way of wrestling their way into social dynamics. I am really tired of all this shit. Imagine how liberating it was to be a Christian in the times of Rome... Breaking away from all this timeless vicious shit, not being neither the winner nor the coward or the loser, just refusing to play the game altogether.

>>20556913
The Path will always be there, for when you choose to walk it.

So get walking faggot

>>20555167
>>20555276
>>20555419
>>20555892
>>20556599
god i just realized i may have accidentally killed a second one, it just died a much slower and painful death.
i feel so sick...why would fate allow something like this to happen?...they were babies for fucks sake...

>>20554813
Based af

lol one of musk's kids trooned out

>>20556825
Can I have her? Sounds cute. Unless she's fat.

Ich kann mitten am Tag vier Meilen laufen, ohne ins Schwitzen zu geraten. Ich bin in fantastischer Form, aber warum?

>>20556825
Sounds fucking lovely

>>20557130
>>20557092
She's great but l'm incapable of appreciating her

i'm trying to remember this one song that was trending on apple music indie in 2020 around the same week that dmx's last post-humous album was released. it was not standard indie, the guy on the cover looked like one of those deranged kids who rode the short bus and the lyrics who unashamed about being from the suburbs and the lyrics were like "what can you do when there's nothing to do" and then some yelling that i couldn't understand. that was their only good song, but it wasn't cool enough to be on pitchfork or any indie sites like no one from brooklyn would listen to something like that, so how did that weirdo manage to make it to apple music for that one week? and did they ever release anything else? and more importantly, what was it? i'd ask on /mu/ but they have an extremely limited repertoire of music

I start lots of projects and never finish them. Some never make it past the initial planning stages, others I will stick with for weeks before abandoning them either because I've lost interest or because it required learning a skill set I don't already possess and I have no interest in acquiring it. I've been doing this since I was in middle school. I'm 32 now and have nothing substantial to show for almost 20 years of effort. I've never finished a story that I started, be it a short story, a novel, a D&D campaign, anything. I've never finished working on any program I started writing either, and I've started about a dozen different ones on github and several video game mods too. I've got notebooks full of ideas, sketches, diagrams, etc, I have several half finished canvas paintings of my own concept art.

In my teens I often just assumed I was going to be a famous writer or visual artist, or a director of movies or video games. I had natural ability as a writer and a creative mind, and public school was effortless for me. College disabused me of these fantasies. While I could skate by in high school favoring only the skills that came naturally to me, college forced me to confront my lack of ability, and made it painfully clear I am a mediocre person incapable of realizing his creative ideas.

I've wondered about why this is. I think one part of it is that I'm fundamentally a lazy person over-fond of comfort, and these creative projects are just idle distractions for a bored, indolent mind. I didn't really do much after college, I was only sporadically, briefly employed in my 20s and spent more time as a NEET indulging my hobbies, enabled by my doting parents. I consumed media and thought up ideas that went nowhere. Not unlike eating: I took in nutrients and produced shit.

As yet I've been describing my life up to my mid 20s, when I realized my mediocrity and creative limits. My late 20s, then, was about figuring out how to live with myself. As a fundamentally lazy person who doesn't like having to learn things he's not intuitively good at, and whose interest wanes rapidly past the initial peak of creative energy, it seemed like there were no good fits for my skill set. And then I found erotic fiction.

It's writing, it doesn't doesn't really have to be longer than a few thousand words at a time, and I've got a natural, intuitive sense for eroticism (which is perhaps the most generous, flattering way to say that I consume a lot of different types of porn). It's actually bewildering how I never realized this before, given that a habit of mine was writing smutty posts on 4chan in the wee hours of the morning to alleviate the mutual boredom of everybody else reading those threads. I suppose I never considered anything I did on 4chan to be an avenue to productive enterprise, and it created a mental blind spot.

Anyway that's my blog about how I'm a lab technician by day, erotic fiction writer by night as a side gig. Thanks for reading.

>>20557254
>Thanks for reading
i didnt

My family is asking for all my free time so I can’t work on my project. I should probably move out.

>>20557254
Do you make good side money with it?

You should try to force yourself to have at least one thing you pour your creative energies into, beyond immediate gratification. Don't coast for another ten years. Start living deliberately.

I need to concentrate, I need to think

they put a dog on a stick

I want to lie my head on the lap of a gent from the south of England while he reads to me in his beautiful voice. Audiobooks being read by such, I suppose, will suffice.

>>20557361
>a gent from the south of England
hello

>>20557265
stfu coasting is the same as anything else

>>20553362
Oh its definitely ok. Anytime one of these /lit/rannies tell me to "have sex", its exactly what I do, just go cruising for a sweet piece ass before I strangle her and dump her in ravine. Its so satisfying I could cum just thinking about it

>>20556742
No, "obsessed" is this >>20554166 I honestly used to think the rest of the world was worth protecting but if they cannot be dignified for one second, why shouldn't we just press the red button?

>>20556619
You've been had

>>20553553
The bad comedian says "you are stupid".
The mediocre comedian says "we are stupid".
The great comedian says "they are stupid".

>>20557152
Just break up with her then.

>>20553767
Poser. Deal with the eternal awesomness that is Ministry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbmbELsbGAU

>>20557403
Cant yet. Her life is a mess and l'll break her heart and ruin her if l do it now.

>>20553935
At 54, he's GenX.
>>20553957
You don't have any friends. So no problem!
>>20554499
...catch a 3rd world parasitic disease...
>>20554627
You're comparing dog shit and dog food.
>>20555167
Rest assured, you spared them from a horrible life.
>>20555310
Why? Haven't had enough of your sucky life?

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY TALK TO ME DON'T TALK TO ME SOMEBODY PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME

>>20557375
Vocaroo yourself reading something

Halfway through this book. Thus far, would not recommend, despite how often this comes up as one of "the" conspiracy books. If your power level is anywhere above that of the oblivious normalfag, nothing will come as a shock to you, and the illustration of connections between governments and cults and the media and such will really only confirm what you already thought to be true. It's an odd sort of dynamic where having more evidence actually detracts from it. Also, despite the subject matter, McGowan is nonetheless a product of his age and has at several times made my eyes roll with some boomerisms. I'll reserve my full judgment until the latter half of the book.

>>20557468
let me have another drink first

Der Geruch eines Stinktiers stört mich nicht

>>20557478
Don't do it, you'll be ashamed later.

>>20557541
yeah l've changed my mind

>>20553767
>>20557407
i see you and i raise you one kmfdm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad6fnUC0EAw

>>20557591
Feigling

>>20557426
You sure think highly of yourself.

>>20557449
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dawR-dPdkY

>>20557722
easy to when you date a girl who is even more messed up than you are

>>20557722
l am unironically the best thing in her life. lts a delicate situation

Hearts and minds, one 5.56 at a time.

pomodoro but with a 25-40 ratio

>>20557766
Codependency is a hell of a drug.

>>20557779
I like this photo

do you guys ever think that no matter how muttified America gets, at some point generic engineering will become not just perfected, but so affordable that even the most 56% american specimen can have their child be born a 10/10 blond haired blue eyed aryan chad?

I was thinking about using /soc/ to find a gf. But then I read the confessional thread and I am honestly terrified.

>>20557901
Thanks, I took it.

>>20558029
Very fucking cool. I like military stuff but I'm only a newfag when it comes to learning about it properly.
>>20558019
I'm super lonely and even I haven't tried /soc/ yet. I had a female friend many years ago who posted on there a lot. She was absolutely filthy, she lived in my spare room and I have plenty of stomach turning stories.

>>20558038
Share pls

>>20558038
Yeah i imagine only the most fucked up women use 4chan to hook up. No offense to the nice and lonely femanons on /lit/

>>20558042
One day after I came home from work exhausted, I found her in the only bathroom we had trying to clean up glass pieces. She then informed me, she had been using a glass dildo in her ass and it slipped out. It shattered on the floor. She did try to clean it up but the other roommate and I both did get shards in our feet at one point. I have more stories too but that one is a winner.
>>20558052
You're talking to one right now, no offence taken fren. I gave you that advice because 9/10 you're absolutely spot on. Just like the men on here though, there are wonderful people who have been merely overlooked and are absolutely worth the investment whether it's friend or more.

>>20558065
omg lol

>>20558029
looks like the moon

>>20558065
If you live in Colorado and weight less than 140 pounds I'll marry you femanon.

>>20558078
Yeah, I always thought that too. Especially so under NODS.

>>20558079
Auschwitz is calling.

>>20558052
It used to be a bit different, back then it was proto-egirls I want to say. I knew some. They were definitely fucked up people compared to the norm but some of them were just lonely or loners. Of course some were loners because they were fucked up, but some were just girls who fell through a certain number of social cracks and ended up on 4chan killing time.

That kind of "femanon" has become much rarer over the past 5 to 7 years from what I can tell. Lines are much clearer now, social media is more ubiquitous. There are fewer chances for a woman to end up here, and more chances once she's here for her to decide it's not for her. I'm not sure what kind of woman would still be on 4chan as a lifer.

I said proto-egirls, because now you have true egirls. Those aren't on 4chan, or they are only as a formality. They are primarily on discord or twitter. Discord egirls are truly next level insane, damaged people. All the worst aspects of normies, none of the texture or depth that makes internet people interesting, but with all the downsides of terminally online internet people as well.

>>20558065
That is a pretty good story. About the people who have been overlooked, I noticed a trend with 4chan men being given chances by girls sympathetic toward "overlooked" guys, and then those men simply being too broken or too far behind in their development and wasting the girl's time. I've seen both sides fall prey to the myth of the 4chan weirdo who is just like me so we're perfect for eachother.

>>20558084
I do weigh less than that but I also live in Australia, unfortunately.
>>20558084
Hnnnng

>>20558088
Ah I can tell you a lot about it. Every boyfriend I've had was from 4ch. Out of three, two had some issues but were ultimately good people. Having a foundation of humor, interests etc is wonderful. Browsing threads in bed and laughing at stupid stuff. The most recent relationship had both the most promise and the most heartbreak in the end. Also all of these relationships lasted over a year, so it wasn't some degenerate meet and greet or something. If you were interested for the sake of it I'd be willing to discuss this shit more privately as well, I think socially it's very interesting.

>>20558089
I have fallen in love you Australian femanon but I can never have you. I am so devastated

I'd rather be a bbc bull than jeff bezos or whatever

cant sleep feel sick :(

>>20553747
China’s industrializing them. Though the war is keeping grain and fertilizer from shipping out to them.
Your black heart isn’t well, but you have more sense than the younger guy. Too bad you ruined your lecture to him.

>>20558084
How many have you killed?

>>20557443
He was 54, many years ago, retard.

>>20558105
I'm sorry. Maybe I'm an ugly gremlin irl though you never know!
>>20558114
What kind of sick?

>>20558129
>What kind of sick?
drunken sick

>>20554782
They’re trying to establish techno-feudalism. This is a rightwing wet dream mixed with rightwing Soviet like touches.

>>20554110
Organize, educate, and arm the masses. We outnumber them, always have, and that’s why they spend so much time dividing us.
Unless you mean to “survive” by cooperation

Are you a zoom zoom futurist free market guy?

>>20558124
3-5 people.

>>20558136
You guys have to cut down. Why'd you drink so much? Have some of those electrolyte drinks.
>>20558138
Based.

>>20558138
how does it feel?

>>20558141
>Why'd you drink so much
gives me the courage to sleep which is ironic considering l cant right now

>>20558142
One side always dehumanizes the other, so I'm guessing he feels good about it.

>>20558146
Have you tried stuff like Restavit? Valerian tea can also help, it's like mini valium and not addictive. It sucks though I know the frustration.

>>20558138
why?

What's the attitude toward erotic writing here? I don't mean smut or anything explicit, just sexually charged. I don't know if that is the best way of describing it.

>>20558161
Would it be the primary focus?

>>20558161
What ever it might be, worse has been posted. Go for it

>>20558142
I'm still not sure. Certainly not good like the anon says above. The first time I killed someone during a near ambush I got a high-five afterwards from one of my platoons squad leaders. I've written about it before, I can dig it up if you want to read it. I need to rewrite it though. How did it feel? That's different, and I don't know how to articulate it without embarrassing myself.

I'm sad, drunk and laughing at every thread
Life goes on, I wish I was funny lads

still laying here drunk/sick might wank

>>20558197
Hangover masturbation is the best

>>20558205
indeed
>>20558152
will they stop my bad dreams?
>>20558170
will you kill again?

>>20558170
I thought you would be like one of those who high-fived you considering you're on 4chan. I don't blame them though because it's war and the side you're on takes priority, which is what every side understands, that is assuming you don't commit a war crime. Sides aren't arbitrary like some might think, it's a complicated issue. You should feel good that you defended yours successfully.

>>20553224
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm fucking tired and I wanna go to bed. I keep learning things and then not applying them and needing to re-learn them and it makes me feel like I'm a fucking retard.
I fucking waste a full day on this site when I've already spent over half of my life (14 fucking years) on it and it makes me feel like shit, SHIT! I have things to read, to watch, to play, to research, to do, and instead I mope around on this fuckhole posting shit. SHIT!
FUCK YOU!
Look at you, look at yourself you fucking COCKSUCKER. FUCK YOU!
WHAT HAVE I DONE, HOW COULD I LAPSE THAT BAD, I AM WEAK AND CAN'T TRUST MYSELF!!
NO!
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I LOATHE YOUR TRAITS! YOUR CHARACTERISTICS SUCK, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
WHY?
FUCKING DO IT ALREADY.
FUCKING SHIT.
YOU BASTARD. YOU WHORESON. MOTHERFUCKER!
YOUR GODDAMN GUTS, YOUR FUCKING GUTS! WHY DID YOU DO IT? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!!
GET OVER IT FUCKING PRISSY LITTLE SHIT! FUCK YOU!
AAAAGGHHHHH!!!
WHY?!
JUST FUCKING DO IT! DO IT ALREADY! YOU FUCK, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER! YOU'RE FUCKING SHIT, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WHY WONT YOU DO IT?!
FUUUCK YOUUU!!! WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF IT?! YOU'RE FUCKED!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>20558208
I have shitty nightmares too. I was prescribed cbd oil to combat them and there has been an improvement. That would be my recommendation if it's possible for you to get some. Restavit and Valerian root will only make you tired.

>>20558217
I'm not on 4chan, I'm on /lit/, and we did commit war crimes.

>>20558237
Eh war crimes are common for the Australian side too. I mean we have the inquiry going still too.

>>20558218
nah mate you're a champ
you can make good in your life, I just know it
never give up mate

>>20558237
Yeah I was thinking about how often I've heard of war crimes happening after I posted. You probably helped commit war crimes or turned your back on it. I take back what I said. You should feel bad for what you did. Also it's likely an unjust war from the beginning fueled by corporate interests with "terrorism" as an excuse like how Putin is using "Nazis" as an excuse to invade Ukraine.

>>20558240
Yeah, I've seen the expose.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GPplTKCYpQ
That kind of stuff was run of the mill.

>>20558250
Maybe.
I fucked up today. I jerked off to a comic that had cuckold elements to it, even though I hate cuckoldry. I compromised my ideals in the heat of the moment. I wasted my day and didn't do anything I was supposed to. I'm shit. I hate my guts, I wanna rip 'em out.

>>20558256
Yep, my ex worked on the inquiry task force so I was exposed to it hugely. Kinda desensitised me actually.

>>20558260
life is cheap

>>20558257
nothing maybe about it
you messed up yeah but hate's a waste of time
doesn't help anybody it's just misdirected passion
i'm rooting for you man

The, normies, like Hitler
Revel, in, destruction
Obliterating,
Life,
Laughs, and love
Eager, to end all like Thanos
Duly, awaiting the grave, Avengers

Yet, will they come
Or, succumb to grave, evil,
Upended, by recalcitrant, normies

The little boy sparrow that sleeps on a branch right next to my bed is asleep now. I'll try to sleep again too.

>>20558129
>Maybe I'm an ugly gremlin irl though you never know!
only a fool would think otherwise

>>20558170
i'd read it

>>20558280
Why does it look obese?

>>20553553
There’s more styles of comedy than just self-deprecating humor.

>>20558285

>>20558299

life is good but my heart is empty after a year and a half of splitting from this girl. stopped drinking recently and smoking and its been extremely hard, now i just take kratom every night. im moving to a big city to do tech stuff for a space related company and im extremely excited, but i always imagined her to be by my side when i finally made it big in the world... now i guess i dont miss "her" but just the feeling of being loved.. im coping by setting my location to thailand on tinder and talking to girls there

any books to relate to these feels? i already read no longer human and the stranger.

>>20558302

>>20558302
>I always just saw it as a type of game
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_Ludens#V._Play_and_war

>>20558307
These were interesting to read, thanks for sharing man.

>>20558308
In basic training my company's motto was 'Play the Game'.

>>20558320
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/50th_Infantry_Regiment_(United_States)#Motto

>>20558288
He's fluffy because it's winter here. Birds circulate air through their feathers to keep warm

>>20558365
Oh, are you Brazilian?

I want to get away from this shit town

>>20558271
Cheers
I genuinely appreciate it

>>20558375
Nah mate

Im starting to doubt whenever the depressed, anxious and self-loathing me is just a mask and not the real me.

>>20556346
I actually already do take lexapro.

>>20558416
Well... who are you when you're alone?
Masks are meant to conceal your identity to others, being alone is when you let your guard down and can be your true self. Maybe you bought into doomer memes but consider who you'd be without the internet, develop your personhood without anyone else's opinion on Twitter or 4channel.

>>20558434
Read Anatomy of an Epidemic. Be careful with anti-depressant use. If they genuinely help then you'll get to a point where your baseline is usually more depressed so be prepared to take them long-term. Then there are side effects from short-term use. I still have tardive dyskinesia from sex months of med use. Not a doctor but a lot of had my experience.

I wouldn't tell someone who's schizo or bipolar to go off their meds, but the boost in improving my lifestyle/diet/daily routing changes gave me were far greater since my depression was more situational than genetic and that's probably the case for you.

>>20558437
I've always cared way too much about others (people and what they might think about me). I think at some point I just realized that being depressed fuckup is the easiest way for others to care about me.

New thread: >>>>20558425

New thread: >>>>20558425

>>20558451
That probably means you value your self-worth based on what others think. How old are you?

>>20558085
t. Fat.

>>20558103
4 bfs I've had were from 4chan. 2 of them I met in the wild. I enjoyed my time with them. 2 lasted over a year. It is nice having things in common. The internet, I feel, has corrupted everybody. The man being corrupted in a way similar to how I have -- this commonality -- is kind of a comforting thing.

>>20558088
I've been here over a decade, now. I started as a huge loser for sure. Lonely smelly NEET who played videogames. I guess I enjoy the anonymity and the feel of this place when vs ie Reddit. Funnily enough though I'm now making bank as a software dev. Still, this place is sorta my home.

>>20558460
>>20558469
Why.
We're on fucking page 3 you asswipe.

>>20558479
I answered it in the next thread

>>20557152
Then stop holding her back and let her be in an actually happy relationship you dumb autist. Stop being a cunt or find somebody who's as mediocre as you.

>>20557066
Stop being a pussy. If a fox found the next they'd all be mangled corpses. Like, I'd feel like shit too, but it's been 7 hours dude. Moping on 4chinz isn't going to unblender the bunnies.