/lit/ - Literature

>>20518637
Beowulf, easy mode.

>>20518637
Odysseus, it wouldn't be harder than any of the other heroic deeds he did

>>20518637
Jake from 11/22/63.
He has a gun and knowledge of the future, so has a 70% chance I would say.

>>20518637
He gives him an elaborate description of his Nausea

Peter Kien from Canetti's Blendung
He would probably completely missunderstand what "kill" means, keep overthinking things, then burst out some random construct of his missunderstanding and thus make Goliath either laugh or very confused.
Then Goliath would kill him.

Noah

>guy from Hunger
He'd lie to Goliath for an hour, confuse the giant to the point where the fight would be forgotten, then give a ten kroner bill to David without explanation and walk away

>>20518637
Last book I read was Oblomov, so he doesn’t kill him, but also doesn’t die as he simply doesn’t go.

last read faust, mephistoles would kill goliath for him easily but find some subtle way of fucking it up.

>The Castle
K. never gets to his battle with Goliath, wasting his time running errands for the Israelites who keep finding faults with everything he does

>>20518637
Trimalchio clears

>>20518637
Caligula. It's not a sure thing, but at least it'll be entertaining.

>>20518659
FUGGIN' EPIC!

Good luck, Holden Caulfield

stephen daedalus. RIP.

>>20518637
Doug Stanhope autobiography. I'm not confident.

>Shylock
He'll be fine

Harry Potter.
He would do just fine.

>>20518637
Rei Fukai. If he has his plane or some gun it's easy win, if not he's fucked.

Depressed multiverse travelling young woman? Oh, she’s gonna die.

>>20518659
who painted this?

>Pavel Ivanovich Chichikov
Very not well

>>20518637
Achilles, ez git gud

>>20518637
Arthur Dent doesn't stand a chance :(

>>20518637
Conan the Barbarian, so pretty fuckin easy.

>>20518637
First of all, great thread. Secondly, Dante; he would get fucking demolished OR heavenly Beatrice would intervene on his behalf.

>>20518637
>Hellstrom's Hive
I guess Hellstrom is the protagonist, or closest to one?
Probably not that well unless he had a stun wand.

>>20518637
Beowulf, easy mode.

Rip Usbek

>>20518637
>diary of a wimpy kid
gonna love watching this ridiculous matchup

Ernst Junger. It’s going to be an interesting fight for sure.

>Call of the Crocodile

I am fucked

>>20518637
Yeah the entire Greco-Roman world's economy would probably be able to defeat Goliath

>>20518637
Yeah the entire Greco-Roman world's economy would probably be able to defeat Goliath

>>20518637
I was reading God: A Biography by Jack Miles, so I think God could kill Goliath.

>protagonist of any book I read
>she
I feel insulted

I just finished Titus Groan, I suppose the closest character to a protagonist is Steerpike, so I'm fucked

>>20520445
Based Stanhope enjoyer

>>20523017
It was just on the off chance you happened to read Anna Karenina.

>>20518637
Not great, but at least Ignatius will make a funny story out of it.

>>20518637
I think he'll be okay.

>>20518637
>He'll be incoherent by the time I'm through with him alright

>>20518637
Freidrich Gerstacker, he would just shoot him.

>>20518637
Threads like this make me question this board. This is more of a forum timewaster thread than something in a literature group. Then again this is a lesser evil among many bad threads in this board.
Sadly, I lack self-control and still keep accessing this board, despite it lacking any reason for my being here.

>>20518637
>Lolita
I hope Goliath wins desu

>Brothers Karamazov
I guess Dmitri could do it if he thought Goliath was after his Gruchenka, or else Ivan would implicitly let ((someone else)) do his dirty job for him, even if he despised Goliath but didn't consciously mean to actually kill him

>>20518637
>dominates Goliath's mind then has him commit suicide just for fun

>>20518637
the kid from bm. i think he can do it

>>20518637
Well shit, either he's fucked or Goliath will turn out to be imaginary

>>20518637
F.A. Hayek
>Goliath gets schooled by the Austrian boss.

>>20518637
The narrator from my year of rest and relaxation.... best she could do is throw coffee on him

>>20518637
Sydney Carton ... he might make it like David did

>the crocodile from call of the crocodile
Easy

>"oh! I read a book about you onc-*splat*"

>>20518637
If comic books count, then Wee Hughie shoots him or punches a hole through his chest.

If comic books don't count, then Adam Smith revolutionizes the Bronze Age Levant by inventing mercantile capitalist economics millennia early, if he can avoid being speared to death.

>>20518637
Alyosha sizes goliath's hearty stature and, trembling, eyes flashing, he jumped up from his seat, threw his hands into the air and ...

>>20518637
Bilbo Baggins.

Questions: 1) is there prep time?
2) Can Bilbo use the ring?

>>20527091
1) About 5 minutes at most
2)On the condition that there are ring wraiths within 5 minutes gallop distance

>>20527115
Sheeeit so he has five minutes to kill Goliath?

Assuming Bilbo has his knife, I think he has about a 30% chance of winning. Even if he turns invisible and climbs on Goliath, the giant can just swat him away and its lights out. I would like to see this play out, though

>>20518659
Who?

>>20518637
jude from a little life
has strong character so he could be up for the job, but im afraid he mutilated himself too much and already ded. So yes/no case.

>>20518637
pre or post amputation?

>>20518637
The beautiful Germania as a personification of my brains language center...

>>20518637
Malekith would eat him for breakfast.

>>20527115
Will the wraiths attack goliath if Bilbo gifts the rig to him?

>>20518637
Police detective. He has a gun. I think he'll be fine.

>>20523317
Image source?

>>20518637
>Drusas Achamian
Goliath is fucked

>>20526036
Crocodiles aren't that impressive dude, I hate to tell you this but it's true.

>>20518637
17 year old Ernst Jünger during his stint in the french foreign legion. I'd say he has a good chance.

>>20518637
He fares poorly. His leg is broken in the first few moments and he falls miserably to the ground crying out that God has forsaken him. In the middle of this lament his lung is punctured by the spear head and he recoils in pain as it is removed though his back, scraping his ribs.

RIP Cyril of Alexandria.

>>20529329
Nephilim could definitely survive a gunshot, and would also stomp you after you shot.

>>20518637
Would George get Lennie or would he have to fight alone?

>>20518637
Will Goku lose?

>>20531489
Yes and then Ulysses and Sherlock Holmes will have to collect all the dragon balls.

>>20518637
>The Guermantes Way
How effective are descriptions of French fashionable society against armor?

>Van Veen
I mean he got btfo in his gun duel and I don’t think he can handle Goliath no matter how good he is at boxing. So probably not very well. If he lives he’ll probably find a way to fuck Goliath’s sister though.

>>20527129
Gash the heels, it’s the midge way.

>>20518637
Aegon the Conqueror would end Goliath

(Fuck you he IS the protagonist)

>>20529353
It's from a cover of The Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe. It is Severian, the main character.

>>20518637
im reading beasts, men, and gods by ferdinand ossendowski. he himself is the protagonist and he would shoot goliath with his rifle, simple as.

>>20531403
Goliath couldn't survive a rock to the face. How could he survive a bullet to the face?

Literally finishing up 1 Samuel so he did pretty good

>>20518637
Robert Langdon will outsmart Goliath.

>>20518637
Protagonist changes from chapter to chapter. Johnny, Paulie and Carloe dies i guess. Others outsmart him or shoot him.

>>20531403
Goliath wasn't a real Nephilim, but a Rephaim. Rephaim were entirely human, often they were just big. Most likely, they had a genetic form of gigantism that carried a myriad of health problems in addition to being fuckin yuuuuge. Bullets would work just fine.

>M. Meursault
well, he had a revolver at some point

>>20518637
Aeneas, quite easy then

My Snoovatar from my GPT-3 Reddit cuck porn. He will lose the fight and face humiliation and death.

>>20518637

T.E. Lawrence

He'd probably blow him to smithereens with a theateically-placed landmine.

>>20518637
Poorly. Christian Ford from Alexander Theroux's An Adultery

>>20518637
Clytemnestra?
I suppose she could have Aegisthus fight him for her. He might stand a pretty good chance.

>>20518637
Randolph Carter
I think he can manage to come up with something, definitely not the worst he has seen.

>>20518676
Based Roquentin bores him to death

>>20518637
Beowulf

Rips the fucker's arm off

>>20518637
After bonding with Goliath and fostering mutual respect, Hamelt would throw his rapier at Goliath's head Branagh style.

>>20518637
>The Sicilian
Turi just blows Goliath's brains out with his lupara, giving cause for a long and bloody vendetta against the Philistines.

>>20518637
De Quincy would be too fucked up on heroin to fight anyone.

>>20518637
>Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

>>20518655
Greek characters are OP

Here Comes Everbody will be alright. I think.

Circe. He would die because he's a toxic man and she a stronk woman.

>>20541068
That's because most of them are literally descended from Gods.

>>20540465
lol im reading coleridge rn, hes fucked.

>>20518637
>just finished rereading I Am Legend
How much prep time does Neville get?

>>20541325
Plenty. Goliath is a boastful asshole.

>>20541387
Id wager approximately 3 years then, but only if at the end Neville realizes the true goliath was the friends we murdered along the way.

I think Hadrian could do it easier at the end of books 2 or 3 though.

>>20518637
Last book i read that had a protagonist was Siddhartha, but the last book i read was about Higgs boson so i dont know how to proceed

>>20518637
Goku solos
>But he isn-
Goku solos

>>20518637
>Lolita
I hope Goliath wins desu

>>20519549
>never fought a battle
>no evidence he was ever trained for combat
>only ever tortured and killed his own citizens who had no way to defend themselves
>got butchered the moment he was cornered by actual soldiers because of all the shit he pulled
Caligula wasn't impressive in the slightest. Even his "laconic" wit wasn't that great.

>>20518637
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyUOhij0pCk

>>20518637
With the amount of times the man survived injury, I'd believe he could.

>>20518637
>carl jung’s bitch ass trying to step up to the goliath BVLL

>>20518637

Don Quixote. Somehow, I think he'll pull it off, at least as long as there's a humorous enough means for his victory.

>>20544346
Jung was probably taller than Goliath irl.

>>20518637
Charles Marlow
How bad is it?

It'd be a one sided beat down

>>20524404
Goliath is pretty much guaranteed to win, It's like an average /tv/ user fighting him