/lit/ - Literature

>>20469870
Why did you not break up with her first? If she broke up with you, the signs were obvious it was imminent

>>20469870
imagine your me
you did not break up
you dont feel that pain

Whatcha need is to not wallow and get back out there quick, fact is that’s five years down the drain, you don’t have time to waste, you need to find another woman, takes one to forget one as they say.

>>20469874
it came out of nowhere. genuinely. she’s been hanging out with this new lesbian, Uber-misandrist fat pig that I just know has been filling her head with all sorts of “you don’t need no man ! Come to gay bars with me every night ! It’s such a fun lifestyle!” Fucking fat bitch…whatever.

>>20469938
I’ll probably get some random pussy her and there but I’m done with women for the foreseeable future. I never wanted a girlfriend, she was my first one. She’s the one who pursued me.

She’s also taking our cat bros. It’s technically her cat since she had it before we got together, but only for like a month.
He’s like my best friend. I work from home and don’t go out (got sober 3 yrs ago) so I spend all day every day with him. :/

I need some lit for this feel

What was her reasoning for breaking up with you? I recommend reading Still the Mind by Alan Watts or listening to some of his lectures on YouTube.

>>20470013
she just said that she loves me, but that she’s not IN love with me anymore and that things have changed. We have been through a LOT together and are very different people than we were when we got together but I still love her and thought we were growing together, not apart.

>>20469949
My nigga you need to take the cat. When my last gf broke up with me I went nuclear. I fucked her car up and trashed her place. Then I sent her a video of me fucking some random thot, she may have been underaged who cares. But the best thing was taking the cat. She was always jealous of the cat because he favored me over her, it was her idea to get a cat, and I know that bitch was seething when I took that lil nigga with me.

GF of 10 years and I split a month ago.
>First, do exercise. 30 minutes of heavy lifting a day, pushups/situps/ running. Whatever. It will get your mind off things better than reading.
>Second, read Bucther's Crossing by John Williams, and then Read You Can't Win by Jack Black. Both very fun, very masculine novels without women. First is a western, akin to a less edgy Blood Meridian. Second is a hobo autobiography from the 1920's with his time on the rails, robbing places, and going in and out of jail.

Set and complete small tasks every day. You'll get through this bro.

>>20470073
>she just said that she loves me, but that she’s not IN love with me anymore
This is "woman-speak" for I think I can do better, and I might have probably already fucked the next guy I will be dating.

>>20469939
This is why you don't let wives/girlfriends have friends. Period.

>>20470108
Bruh. You should have seen that shit coming. Ten fucking years. Jesus you're lucky you don't live in a clown state because if she lived with you she would count as a common law wife and could fuck you over in court.

>>20470116
Women aren't logical that's why I avoid them these days and just keep to myself

>>20470116
Oh man not OP but that just cleared something up for me.

>>20470120
It's worse than you think. I'm a NEET, and she made all the money.

>>20470124
You're welcome. If you ever care to learn from my misfortune again, you know where I'll be.

>>20470121
>and just keep to myself
I do this as well, but I'd much rather find some peers I could socialize with. 4chan has made me far too niche with my hobbies, knowledge, and adopted autism. I'm like an alien among my peers. Where the fuck do people even meet other people in person nowadays? It's like young people don't go outside anymore.

>>20470116
This 100% accurate.

>>20470129
Having a big dick will only get you so far. I'm surprised she put up with you for so long. Must have broke her off proper.

>>20470151
>I'm surprised she put up with you for so long.
Would've kept me around if I didn't bring up the year in college I fucked her sister behind her back. There's more to it, but that's the short of it.

Most Murakami is about this kind of thing. It's also easy shallow reading so makes for a relaxing reading experience. Try Wind-Up Bird or Killing Commendatore.

>>20470144
wondering this too. I’m in college but it’s a very…unsocial school. Everyone is sitting 50 feet apart on the quad staring into their phone

>>20470206
i actually just applied for my passport a few weeks ago. Idk where to go. I don’t find brown Asians attractive desu. I’m thinking either getting a eurail pass and doing the hostel thing or Colombia.

>>20470202
I think that's a phenomenon on most campus's, unfortunately. Have you tried joining clubs? My biggest regret from college is not joining the clubs. It already segments the people you might get a long with and have something in common with.

As for me, who graduated 6 years ago, I'm looking into charity organizations, and churches for the 5 renaming women who aren't whores.

>>20470213
>Colombia
If you are white, and don't have the "instinct", don't.

>>20469870
CLAIM YOUR FUCKING CAT

>>20470206
I don't find them particularly attractive either, but Thailand has plenty to do/see outside of mongering plus it's cheap and tourist-friendly. A backpacking trip across Europe sounds great too. I've only done short trips but I'd love to spend a few weeks travelling around. Colombia (and SA in general) just feels sketchier to me, but I've never really looked into going.

>>20470236
what instinct?
I’m pretty street smart if that’s what you mean. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and was a drug user/dealer while I was a teenager/young adult. I know how to keep my head on a swivel

>>20470291
Whites are open season in other countries, especially if you are slumming it outside the tourists areas. You seem alright, but I can't rightly say without knowing you. South America is a shit hole if you don't have money.

>>20470291
seen any of Vagrant Holiday's vids?

>>20470144
Same anon but I'm almost 40. Most of my old friends have moved on and I'm the token single guy who is more of a drag to hang around than my old friends (except one, John, who shares a name with my best friend and roommate, he's without a personality and is completely spineless, whereas my roommate is simultaneously under a rock and cynical) and the rest have wives and/or girlfriends. No use being a third wheel.

>>20469949
Take the cat, fag.

>>20469949
If the new guy she starts fucking doesn't like cats, it will go to the pound.
So don't say someone didn't tell you.

I personally think cat's are a woman's pet, but if it were my pet; I wouldn't allow a woman to have it.

>>20470236
This, people think it's all fun and games until you see someone killed in front of you and all the locals act blase about some dude getting shot to pieces in broad daylight.

>>20470291
>what instinct?
The killer variety.

>>20469870
Walden

>>20469870
What's it like having a girlfriend? I always hear about guys being devastated after a breakup, but why? What's so magical and special about it? I've never even been close to having a relationship like that so I have no frame of reference

>>20470454
The only right answer

>>20470555
Salty coins and big bags of sand etc

>>20469870
Don Quixote or 3 men in a boat

I had to put my dog down a month ago and I'm still breaking down in tears in the middle of the day and unable to get out of bed in the morning.

There is no book that will help. It is only time that will help.

>>20470013
>>20469938
>>20469888
>>20470108
>>20470454
All of this is cope.
Reading, exercising, going to fucking Thailand, are all just cope.
You don't run away from your feelings. Allow yourself to be as sad as you want to be.
Just don't be miserable. Don't eat junk food, smoking weed, playing video games in your room all day.
Be sad but still keep your self respect.
After a while, it'll pass.
Running away from feeling sad will just prolong your suffering.

>>20470658
Be sad but just don't be sad bro!

>>20470658
>You don't run away from your feelings. Allow yourself to be as sad as you want to be.
How is this not cope?

>>20470671
Cope is temporary. You forget about your problems while you're lifting or going to Thailand or fucking some other girl. But the true feeling of sadness is still there in the back of your mind.
And it won't go away until you acknowledge it and feel it.
That is the complete opposite of cope.
>>20470664
That's right pea brain.
Be sad but eat well. Take care of your self. Give yourself the strength to go through this phase and know you'll come out stronger.

>>20469870
The Lord of the Rings

>>20469870
I got married right before our third anniversary, you faggots are too slow.

>>20470695
>Cope is temporary.
And so is your solution, because you said it will pass. Therefore they are all cope.

>>20470695
>Be sad but eat well. Take care of your self.
That's exactly what the other anons were recommending, pea brain. Be sad but don't ruminate, lift, eat well, go on a holiday. You've said literally nothing new.

>>20470776
It will pass because it will have been dealt with completely.
It is the complete opposite of dealing with it by distracting yourself with frivolous activities.
>>20470792
No no they are completely different.
You lot recommend lifting and going on sex holiday as a distraction.
I recommend dealing with the sadness straight on, by feeling it as much as he can.
Show me one other post in this thread telling him to just be sad.
All I see are lists of bullshit activities.
There is 0 similarity between my advice and yours.

>>20469949
Two different women I've dated have kept pets after the breakup. In both instances, the women contacted me months later to tell me they could not take care of them. One had neglected the cat so bad it became underweight, and the other had already taken the cat to the pound and let me know as an afterthought.

Both cats are safe now, but I would never trust another ex with a pet again.

>>20470555
We spent almost every waking moment together, aside from work and school. Going on trips, seeing and experiencing new things with each other, being there for each other’s triumphs and for each other’s defeats. Consoling them through grief. Laughing together, crying together. The inside jokes that no one else would understand. Holding her in your arms as you fall asleep. Having favorite TV shows and movies that you watch together. Knowing all of each other’s secrets and quirks, knowing the little things she does that no one else sees, like how she rubbed her hands together when she was nervous….
You share your life with a person for so long that they become a part of you. It’s like having your heart ripped out, exposed, still beating on the concrete. You don’t know how you’ll ever get by because how can you live without your heart?

>>20470867
Obviously she doesn't feel the same way

>>20470896
Obviously, but at one time, she did. I’m talking about my perspective anyways.

>>20470916
Perhaps the relationship wasn't as fulfilling for her as it was for you

>>20469870
Well, >>20470658 is very right, as with all threads like this, reading a book will not solve your problems, which is why nobody actually recommends books. I will quixotically attempt to keep this on topic though: Evelyn Waugh's Sword of Honor series is one I read recently that deals with this type of situation, although it's not exactly the main plot. Tibullus' Elegies have some nice seething after his gf left him for a rich guy, Vollmann's Whores for Gloria is a very interesting treatment of the scenario (that one is pretty depressing though but the weirdness of it might cancel it out). More straightforwardly depressing choices would be generic stuff like Wuthering Heights or Werther. But maybe more depressing means more cathartic, idk. Mayakovsky has some good ones too if I remember correctly, and I think there's probably a decent amount of material on this theme in Renaissance courtly poetry? Relationship dynamics were different back in the day though so pre-modern stuff might not do much for you.

Slightly more unconventional recommendation would be the Divine Comedy, not because of Beatrice, but because coping with exile is probably psychologically pretty similar to coping with a breakup. Pushkin would work on the same principle though I'm less familiar with him in general.

>>20470867
One million percent spot on. I'm going through the same thing, I broke up with my girl late last year. We were only together a little over a year so I can't imagine what you're going through bro.

She had mental issues that she was working on, but I just couldn't take it anymore. She would get batshit crazy angry sometimes. She would work on not getting angry at X, but then she'd get furious at Y. Then she'd work on Y and it would be Z. Go through the whole alphabet.

I initiated the breakup, but I still sometimes wonder if it was the right move. My problem is I'm different. I don't connect with most people, I'm antisocial at heart, and I only force myself to be social in the hopes of making a friendship or attracting a likeminded girlfriend. I just don't feel like I fit in with most people.

She was kind of the same way thanks to her issue. Most people kinda didn't like her at all because of her temper and her speaking her mind and sticking up for herself or what she thought was right.

I'm afraid I'm not going to connect with anyone as well as I connected with her. She was the first girl I dated I could see myself marrying and having kids and living the rest of my life with... if not for the insane anger issues that I know in my heart would've been dangerous had we gotten married or worse yet had kids. But it still hurts. It's still scary.

And yeah I've fucked a couple girls since then (not trying to make myself seem like a ladies man because I'm not) but it's not the same at all. It just helps hold me over and make me not feel totally worthless, but deep down I'd trade it all for what I had before. Just not with her unfortunately.

The other problem is it's so hard for me to meet people. Once you're out of school it's insane how it changes

Read a porn mag (hard to find nowadays so ask your dad for one...or if you're black, ask your cellmate) and jack off. Problem solved.

>>20471015
t. never had an actual girlfriend

Sex is a key part of having a girlfriend (I refuse to date a girl who won't have sex at the very least very soon after becoming official), but a girlfriend fulfills wayyyyyy more than sexual needs, it's not even #1 on the list lol, and I'm someone who likes to fuck every goddamn day if I can

>>20469870
>>20469939
You dated an overweight woman.
You had affection and feeling for her.
You are effeminate, weak, and a disgrace to be on this board to feel the least bit of loss or remorse. You are coping because it sounds like you're otherwise a loser and failure and rather than address your own problems you're looking for another body to be a bandaid. You're not going to make it and deserve to suffer in this life and the next. Hell is justifiable and people like you belong there.

>>20471030
Based

>>20470658

This is the best advice here anon. Avoiding feelings rather than processing them is destructive. You can not insulate yourself from the grief. The grief is a normal and correct reaction which you should allow yourself to feel without wallowing in it. You will be sad. This is correct and normal. The goal is not to allow it to stop you completely. Reconnect with friends, or make new ones. Work on youself is a terrible millenial cliche but it is true. Without the love of another as a proxy, you need to love yourself for a while.

>>20471030

Holy cope. This anon has never felt the touch of another.

Anyone have experience with mail order brides?

>>20471030
So what's the verdict, with respect to eternal suffering, for illiterate people who make aggressively posturing posts on the internet, the premise of said posts being based entirely on their inability to read? You think they can make the cut for purgatory or do they go straight to getting analed with hot pokers?

>>20471077
Shut the fuck up nerd

>>20471077
They go to heaven for speaking the truth.

>>20469870

How about you stop being a faggot, eschew women and go for men instead?

>>20471109
Ok anon, you sure showed that person who you imagined to be saying something that displayed weakness. Everyone is incredibly impressed that you are stronger than that person who you made up. They're also impressed that you chose the literature discussion forum on a website for abject failures as the place to go to assert your manly power. Your privileging of said assertion of power over all questions of intellectual standards, reality, etc. is quite thrillingly subversive to the crowd of captivated onlookers; they all agree that you have adopted a truly novel persona, the likes of which have never been seen here before. Basically what I mean to say is that everyone is clapping and cheering for you and telling you that you are valid.

>>20471184

>>20470081
You are a nigger and you and everyone like you should end themselves and make the world slightly better

>>20470167
go back to her sis lmao

>>20471030
*tips fedora*

>>20469870
Remember, Be Here Now by Ram Dass

Also was in your same situation months ago, don't worry it'll pass and you'll be happy once again
t. very emotional person who (almost) didn't think was gonna make it through

>>20470129
Brings to mind this bukowski poem:

burned

the kid went back to New York City to live with a woman
he met in a kibbutz.
he left his mother at the age of
32, a well-kept fellow, sense of humor and never
wore the same pair of shorts
more than one day. there he was
in the Puerto Rican section, she had a
job. he wanted iron bars on the windows and
ate too much fried chicken at 10 a.m.
in the morning after she went to
work. he had some money saved out of the
years and he fucked but he was really
afraid of
pussy.

I was sitting with Eileen in Hollywood
and I said:
I ought to warn the kid
so that when she turns on him
he'll be
ready.

no, she said, let him be happy.
I let him be
happy.
now he's back living with his
mother, he weighs three hundred and ten pounds
and eats all the time
and laughs all the time
but you ought to see his
eyes ...
the eyes are sitting in the center of all that
flesh ...
he bites into a chicken leg:
I loved her, he says to me,
I loved her.

>>20471223
He did the right thing you faggot.

>>20470454
Waldun.

>>20469870

Why does it matter that she broke up with you

>>20471030
Dangerously based

>>20469870
Get drunk and read Neuromancer. Guaranteed time of your life

Do you retards love or hate women? Make up your minds, holy shit. This is pathetic.

>>20470116
Can confirm, happened to me, saw it happen to dozen others. Women always test a new dick before breaking up with their long-term partner. It broke me at the time because I had no experience, but that's just what women do.

>>20471473
I love women desu. Greatest thing in existence, even if I'm literally wired to think so.

>>20469939
>she’s been hanging out with this new lesbian, Uber-misandrist fat pig
Should've kept your gf in check

>>20469939
>Come to gay bars with me every night ! It’s such a fun lifestyle!
she's right though

>>20471502
good place to get aids

>>20471473
I see them as vessels and nothing more.

>>20471030
thats ok because "cope" is fictional

>>20471504
Everyone's on prep. Get with the times grandpa.

>>20469870
This will change "your" life if it is comprehended. Can't believe I don't see this sage talked about more on here.

https://selfdefinition.org/ramana/Maharshi's-Gospel.pdf

Don't get me wrong, what the sage suggests is not simple repression. Rather it is transcendence. Let the ignorant say what they will, the realised one is ever at peace.

>>20471515
You'll still get monkeypox. There are still plenty of gays not on prep.

>>20471030
The lesbian she was hanging out with was the fat bitch… right?

>>20469870
Danm, bro. But I kinda understand how you feel, I have a girlfriend of three years and I can't imagine my life without her. Btw it's time to change her diapers.

>>20470658
you’re retarded bro

>>20471030
having a normal one I see

>>20472567
I'm not your bro bitch. You aught to call me daddy as I'm the one fucking your mother.
When I get to fucking your sister then you can call me bro.

>>20470658
this advice literally paralyzes the brain of the average 4chan incel autist. at least you tried, mate

>>20469870
A close comparative study of Mein Kampf with My Sick Twisted World.

>>20470776
you literally do not understand what cope means
never post on this board again you fat, incorrigible fucking retard

>>20470835
working out is the best thing one can do for themselves. It's not a "plus", it's a required NEED of our body. You are designed to move around and have athletic abilities

>>20472769
Go back to fit. Then go tell a writer, or composer, or scientist, that he needs to go pump iron because it's a "required need" and see them laugh in your face.
>You are designed to
Go back to your Bible thread. I design my own body and it's designed to do 0 exercise.

>>20472802
Incredibly based if not a little unhealthy