/lit/ - Literature

>>20466445
Just go outside and talk to people.

>>20466486
fpbp

>>20466486
Fpbp
Since this is /lit/, you can go to your local bookstore and hang out, talk with people of similar interests.

>>20466486
>>20467303
>>20467552
BRO JUST TALK TO PEOPLE LMAO
doesn't happen in real life

>>20467552
If you talk to me at bookstore, I will heem you

>>20466445
>improving your social skills
>by hiding in your room and reading more books
yeah ok

>>20467819
>be me
>clueless at socializing
>social attempts go nowhere, because clueless
>read book
>get ideas
>try it out
>see what works and what doesn't
>rinse and repeat until I get the gist
what's the problem?

>>20466445
what kind of moron wants to improve their "social skills"?

>>20467841
>>try it out
We both know that isn't going to happen.

The Big Book of Reddit

>>20466486
>>20467303
>>20467552
So you guys just randomly go up to people and start talking to them? Even if that probably bothers them? Even if that might lead to you getting your ass beat or accused of harassment? I think most people, when they go out, are just there to do their errands unless they're at a place made to socialize. This is probably a situation of the blind leading the blind. Some guys with absolutely zero social awareness think he's a charismatic chad because he has no idea how much he is actually bothering people.

>>20467958
It’s easy to read body language and generally people who don’t want to be bothered keep their responses short. If that’s the case, move on. Don’t worry about bothering someone for 5-10 seconds of their day. They can handle it

>>20467965
The last time I tried to make small talk like that with a stranger he pushed me down the stairs. I was polite and realized I was bothering him but when I moved to give him some space he pushed me down the stairs anyways.

The book of real life.
The book of bartending.
The book of joining a DBT group.

>>20467958
Every friend was once a stranger. You're never gonna make friends, get gf if you don't talk to people.

>>20466445
I found that I overshare alot. I'm not social but I noticed that when people ask mundane questions I give extremely specific overlong answers. Like yesterday a friend asked how is work I went on detailing everything I've done in work today. Any books that teach how to become more reserved?

Also, could this be a symptom of ADHD or OCD? I feel I have both or either one of them

>>20466445
The Underground Man. I basically turned myself into the exact opposite of the narrator and now I am happily married with 3 kids.

>>20467969
There are two sides to every story

>>20468003
You mean Notes from the Underground anon?

>>20468002
No, you’re just lonely so you want to use every second someone finally listens to you to tell them about your life in the hopes of finding connection.

It’s a giving and taking though. Find connection to trying to understand where the other person is coming from and getting to know them.

>>20466445
How to win friends and influence people

What every body is saying

I unironically put the main lessons of the first one into Anki (flashcard program) and practiced them until I knew them by heart. Then just applied them while also applying the ones at the back of the second book.

I have very high verbal IQ and am young, tall, and handsome so results may differ but I’m also a turbo autist so it might work.

>>20467969
>/lit/ autist tries to talk to someone
>spergs out and invades their personal space
>gets pushed down the stairs

>>20467969
You get what you fucking deserve

>>20466445
Talking to people will improve your social skills. Doesn't matter how you do it, go on meet up or some shit, buy a dog

>>20468054
>>20468070
He’s probably some unkempt autist who ran up to a man in a deserted station, schizobabbled, and is shocked that the man felt threatened and pushed him down to run.

>>20466445
Anon, sorry that everyone has been mocking you for asking about books on the book board of a polynesian raft building forum, but I have the actual secret sauce. The real way to hone your social skills, especially as an autist, is to emulate social interactions from movies and other media and reverse engineer your approach from there. Add some trial-and-error, psychology research, charisma on command youtube videos and romance novels for women and youre set

>>20468150
Not him but, to be fair, I've noticed that normies now classify anything beyond subject-object-verb single clause sentences as "schizobabbling"

I can almost see their fucking mind's eye "resetting" as I watch their physical eyes glaze over when I say something more complex than
>I want that one.

They are also very sensitive to talking "too fast," especially in combination with too much information. But by too fast I mean what would have been a normal pace among white people ten years ago, and by too much information I mean one additional explanatory or concessive clause in a sentence.

>>20467622
It does happen. Escalating it to like a friendship or other activities is weird though.

>>20469592
I do this a lot. Just copy answer/questions from movies. I watch a fuckload of movies that are out of normie territory so they will never know.

>>20469609
My brother is like this and I am afraid. “It’s not that deep bro”. I am gazing into the abyss that is the mind of those weened from birth on the crack hit of the algorithm.

I have the social skills, i just have absolutely NOTHING to say to anyone. I sometimes gather with friends i know for many years and i have nothing to say to them, i make some questions pretending i care about the answers and then i'm done unless i can weave comments or jokes about things they told me. I think i only made friends because the groups were bigger when were younger, so i had more things to comment on and throw zingers about. disguising my absolute lack of personality.

How in the fuck do i get things to say?

>>20470323
Just be charming. Works for me. Smile, ask people about themselves, give compliments in a non creepy way. It's easy

None of them

>>20470323
You don't really have social skills

>>20470323
Get a dog and walk it and chat with other dog owners. It's like a cheat code for getting your social skills up to speed

>>20470323
I felt this way for a very long time but eventually I realized that it wasn't a lack of things to say, it was a lack of things that I was sure they would find interesting or entertaining. So there are a couple ways you can go, you can be completely fake and creepy and have prepared jokes/stories/etc. (you can steal these things from wherever, if you're gonna be fake you might as well go all out) that you can use on anyone you're talking to, or you can just ask them questions and try to be a decent person and take a real interest, or you can stop being a pussy and tell them what you're actually thinking.

But it seems like the bigger issue is that you're spending time with people for the wrong reasons, and you would probably be happier if you weren't wasting energy trying to impress people you don't care about.

>>20466445
Not going to happen. "Books to help me with <real-life situation that can't be improved by reading books>?" should be considered non literature related, it's just a slightly more sophisticated version of "Books for this feel?". That being said, there are probably plenty of actual books for that feel. Idk of any though beyond the usual meme stuff like Book of Disquiet and Notes from Underground. The stuff I've seen from Lovecraft's correspondence makes him seem like a major autist so you could try that (the correspondence I mean, I don't think his stories have anything to do with it). Now that I think about it it's a bit odd how rarely I've seen this subject come up directly in books, there's plenty of stuff about different sorts of alienation and loneliness but not so much about the actual lack of skills. Maybe people are just ashamed to write about it, or maybe pre-internet people couldn't remain in that state because they didn't have the alternative of engaging in parasocial activity. Just watch Welcome to the NHK or something I guess.

>>20466445
If you are having trouble being social then it might not really be about your social skills. Your social skills can be the best in the world but if you are feeling like shit and your character is subpar you wont get any results whatsoever.

Maybe you should read books on how to feel better more often. Exercise, diet, supplements, sleep. The usual.

Also you despite what the popular advice is. You shouldn't really BE yourself. Instead you should be a sort of caricature of yourself. A character in a story. There should be a storyline coded in you. And you should remember the last interaction you had with people. If you want to take this a step further you could prepare a story about something that has happened to you recently and for it to be engaging you should make it quasi-revealing, not really revealing only faggots do that and you only talk about revealing things with people you trust. People love talking when it gives them power and they gain power when they get information on you or if you talk with them about other people who you have information on(crushes, family, crisis ,money, behavior).

"I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face." Franz Kafka

also just try a lot, people are retarded and unless you dress like a complete faggot or touch them inappropriately there really isn't anything that you could say to them that would get you in any sort of trouble unless you threaten them obviously. Also people have evolved in an environment with small stable social groups where everybody knew everybody else so when your brain thinks of social risks it's thinking in those terms. But today's world is different so you should ignore your social anxiety when it stops you from doing things.

>>20467969
Should've raped him.

>>20467965
>It’s easy to read body language

No its fucking not

>>20466445
I wait outside nightclubs, normally clubs with mostly foreign (english speaking) clientele, and chat up drunks, the more shitfaced they are, the easier they are to please, just ask for a cigarette and make small talk. I pretend to be someone else and make up facts about me as I go along, it's amazing how far you can bullshit someone before they realise. Anyways, it's easy mode because they are drunk, helps you get practice and you know you will never see them again so there's no reason to be anxious.

Is it weird to watch porn with the bros?
I got invited to a friends house for a small party after our shift was done and we were drinking and playing with his new vr thing then he just all of a sudden insists that we (me and the other 2 guys there) need to experience for porn.
It was pretty funny, I had a good time, but I genuinely have no idea wether this is a normal thing or if it’s extremely weird.

>>20470802
>>20471841
I can’t reeeeeeed

>>20467622
Yea, pretty much.

>>20469609
Brown people from places like Italy and Spain like to talk fast; but White people from places lie England and Germany generally don't.

>>20471841
Interesting.

>>20470553
I don't even know how to ask people about their lives without sounding like stilted autist or even compliment people anymore. Don't even know what to ask. Hell, people get offended by even simple questions about family, so I think twice before asking. What the fuck do people want to hear? I have no idea.

I need to get my head sorted out.

bump

>>20466445
get a book you really like and read it in public

It really is just exposure to social situations. I've lost count of how often I've fluctuated between being a complete shut in to being social and outgoing, and what I've learned is that it's definitely a skill that you have to keep using or you'll lose it. If you're alone in your room all day or your job is antisocial, it's inevitable that you're going to be shit at talking to people.

If you go from complete shut-in to working in a bar or something radically people orientated, you'll sure as shit be rusty and awkward for the first few weeks or so, but your social skills will rapidly improve. I've been through this cycle many times and although you retain a little bit of social muscle memory, you'll lose most of your ability to competently speak to people if you're no longer in a position where you're frequently exposed to social situations. I don't know what your circumstances are op, but even just working once or twice a week in a bar or a retail environment will give you big social gainz. I'd recommend taking this route because you're obligated to interact with the people in your environment, and they with you

>>20467996
>I just realized that in order to get a gf I'm going to have to talk to women.
It's over for me.

a hero of our time

>>20470323
you have to find a legitimate thing about them you find interesting no matter how small, also you have to be willing to make yourself vulnerable with how much you share about yourself

>>20474425
most literate /lit/ poster

>>20466445
>>20480011
And more importantly this way is the most fun and productive! Shit might actually change in your life!

>>20478822
It’s over for you

>>20469763
>It’s not that deep bro
Irony poisoned

>>20479673
Nobody has ever started a conversation with me because of the book I've read, and I read in public very often (cafés, library and public transport). It never happens.

Maybe cause I live in the most antisocial countries though, Sweden. It's pretty funny actually how uncomfortable swedes are in starting convos with strangers, it never happens. And the immigrants that are more social don't read so they wouldn't start a convo based on a book anyway

I have accepted that the only way I will communicate with others is through art

>>20466486
You realize people don't have conversations right? What do you expect me to go to a grocery store and talk to some girl about how high the prices for something are? You don't understand human interaction.

>>20478822
Lol

>>20478822
>stilted
In psychiatry, stilted speech or pedantic speech is communication characterized by situationally-inappropriate formality
>phew.png
>This formality can be expressed both through abnormal prosody
>whats this
>prosody is the patterns of stress and intonation in a language
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>20467636
For sure I disagree my man

Tips for someone with terrible social skills but who is incredibly beautiful? The latter can only take me so far

>>20482095
Create and you will be a god

All posters above my post are faggots

>>20482252
Fucking glad I'm underneath you then.

>>20482285
I don’t know, that also sounds pretty gay.

>>20481726
>>20482003
>>20482036
don't just laugh at me dickheads, help me!

bump

bump

>>20467969
Did you get revenge?

>>20468045
LARP: the post

>>20466445
I’m 5’5, swarthy Indian with a deformed face and I still fuck more than every nordcuck lanklet on this board comvined

>>20481995
"Hi, I wanted to meet you!" You lose next to nothing for trying.

Yes or no?

Models by Mark Manson saved me just trust me on this

>>20466486
Who is this by?

>>20482539
you will never get the help you need, filthy hylic