/lit/ - Literature

Letters from Underground

>>20429646
Whew! I thought I was gonna relate to Pic, but thank fuck, I actually don't.
Anyway, the Russians, probably.

>>20429646
>tfw 34
>dead end job
>spend every week waiting for weekend
>don't do anything on weekend except shitpost on 4chan and watch vtubers
>rinse and repeat
At least other people know this hell

>>20429665
>vtuber simp
You deserve it

This is relatable.

>>20429646
What would a story based on such a character need to do to be moving, riveting, illuminatory high art?

The main character going postal or committing suicide are not options.

>>20429646
>portrayed as the ultimate incarnation of the superfluous man, a symbolic character in 19th-century Russian literature. Oblomov is a young, generous nobleman who seems incapable of making important decisions or undertaking any significant actions. Throughout the novel he rarely leaves his room or bed. In the first 50 pages, he manages only to move from his bed to a chair
Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov.

>>20429665
Try something new tonight. Its the beginning of a new weekend.
Go to a gym. Or join a club this weekend.
The shit job isn't going to change over night, but you can stop wasting weekends right now.

Or just do this same as you did last week and wallow in your own self pity and misery.

>>20429665
>watch vtubers
first habit to replace IMMEDIATELY with literally anything else

>>20429646
>Siegfried is a being much like the youth in the fairy tale who goes out into the world that he may learn what fear is, which he quite fails to do, owing to his healthy natural instincts and his inability to see things otherwise than as they actually are.

>The development of the whole poem sets forth the necessity of recognising and yielding to the change, the many-sidedness, the multiplicity, the eternal renewing of reality and of life. Wotan rises to the tragic height of willing his own destruction. This is the lesson that we have to learn from the history of mankind: to will what necessity imposes, and ourselves to bring it about. The creative product of this supreme, self-destroying will, its victorious achievement, is a fearless human being, one who never ceases to love: Siegfried. That is the whole matter.

>I do not mean my hero to make the impression of a wholly unconscious creature: on the contrary, I have sought in Siegfried to represent my ideal of the perfect human being, whose highest consciousness manifests itself in the acknowledgment that all consciousness must find expression in present life and action.

>The enormous significance that I attach to this consciousness which can scarcely ever find adequate expression in mere words, will be quite clear to you in the scene between Siegfried and the Rhine-daughters. Here we see that infinite wisdom has come to Siegfried, for he has grasped the highest truth and knows that death is better than a life of fear

>>20429715
>moving, riveting, illuminatory high art?
You have to be at least 18 years old to post here.

>>20429646
Can't relate. Feels good having your shit together

>>20429665
in a less caustic and dismissive way, I agree with the other replies. the only way to change this situation is to start making small changes everyday to move yourself away from your current circumstances. everyone wants a sudden dramatic shift but it really is based on consistent, small changes. what would you want to be doing in your ideal world? also definitely stop watching vtubers, they are dopamine traps meant to ensnare people in your situation

>>20429758
Gym is a great option for getting positive reinforcement hormones pumping you full of happy juice

>>20429892
If only there was an IQ requirement of at least 110.

>>20429646
>>20429648
>>20429661
>>20429665
>>20429667
>>20429677
>>20429715
>>20429726
>>20429758
>>20429786
>>20429843
>>20429892
>>20429908
>>20430258
>>20430372
>>20430842
Remember. 4chan is a demoralization echo chamber. Lift weights, eat greens, and get out while you still can!

>>20429646
>tfw used to feel dread at the 20 something version of this image
>now this has become me
someone post the 40 year old version it said something like 'given up, low, and woefully empty'

>>20429726
>In the first 50 pages, he manages only to move from his bed to a chair
literally me

>>20429646
>developing health problems justify shitty lifestyle
Nah senpai, I develop health problems in hopes of dying. Hasn't happened yet, but it will one day, and that's the only thought that gives me happiness.

>>20429646
I'm not recommending you anything. this is your fault. stop attracting this shit here.

>>20430854
I'M A FUCKING SPERG YOU RETARDED MOTHERFUCKER!
THIS PLACE DIDN'T MAKE ME A DEMORALIZED RETARD, I FOUND IT BECAUSE I AM A DEMORALIZED RETARD!
>ugh just lift weights bro
AND THEN FUCKING WHAT?
WILL LIFTING WEIGHTS TEACH ME HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE?
WILL IT FUCKING MAKE ME NORMAL?
I HOPE YOU LIFT FAGS GET BRAIN CANCER!

>>20431139
It'll teach you to stick to something uncomfortable to improve yourself. You can replace it with learning a skill or w/e, gym is good because it's outwardly visible and helps with confidence. If you think you don't need this step then just go out and talk to people lol.
Also, give up hope of being "normal", you weren't socialized properly at a young age so that's not happening. That's not necessarily a super bad thing though, you attract more interesting people :)

>>20431158
>That's not necessarily a super bad thing though
>You can't interact normally with other people or create a genuine connection
>It's not a super bad thing bro
>Just live, laugh, love
>Just be yourself
I just want you to know that there's a special place in hell for people like you.

>>20431167
>cant interact normally with other people
Can you not buy groceries? Answer what time t is? Superficial interactions like this are the only time you should worry about being normal
>create a genuine connection
You will never create a genuine connection by trying to be something you're not.
You can embrace what's possible for you and find the positives in it, or be a defeatist faggot and kill yourself in your 30s I guess. And yes, unironically be yourself, it's just easier said than done.

>>20431195
>or be a defeatist faggot and kill yourself in your 30s I guess
That's the plan. I'm either opening up my veins or drinking myself to death.

>>20431206
.

>>20431206
Good luck with that. Just know there's a world beyond whatever preconceptions you have from being a loser in high school or whatever

>>20429646
im 18 and this is literally me and im not joking. i hate my self and my existence as a whole.
>>20430854
I tried working out and just got tired of it because i barely eat (poor) so there is no point

>>20429646
Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin.
/thread

>>20431206
If you do a deep introspective search you might realise that those suicidal feelings started long before you consciously considered it. Your thoughts are late in catching up with such inclinations. It is not as willful as you imagine it to be. So don't be rash.

>>20431269
it's literally the best you'll find, brah

>>20431206
based schizo

>>20431264
do calisthenics then, kid

>>20429843
where's that from?

>>20429646
I was literally like then this then I took this guy's program. God bless you if you're going through something this terrible. There is a way out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa-PhDMhEVQ

>>20431306
you mean pushups and all of that? that was what i was talking about

>>20431347
you don't need to eat in any specific way to progress with this way of training, you are not lifting heavy stuff, you are just doing natural movements, and eventually you'll reach a decent level of fitness, I always thought I could never do 10 pull ups, could barely do 2. Now I can do 15.

Just do it in your own pleasure, the mistake people make is working out without love. You want to always be in great shape. People literally think you have to struggle if you workout.

>>20429646
The Tatar Steppe

>>20431264
>there is no point

what point are you looking for

>>20430854

>>20431139
>WILL LIFTING WEIGHTS TEACH ME HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE?
Why dont you try, you may be surprised. Your current strategy doesnt seem to be working either way. Who knows, maybe if you just keep thinking about it and doing fuck all the solution will come to you.

>>20431139
Get a job in a market research callcenter as an interviewer if you want to get better at talking to people. Unironically, entry tier.

>>20431397
>market research callcenter as an interviewer
Don't mind me, I'm just being a cunt, had a pretty bad day today so I decided to whine on a Tunisian darbuka making forum. Which is extremely gay.

>>20431385
unironically should be mandatory in high school. some scary shit

>>20431491
the state doesn't want you to live your life, it wants you to be a good slavie

>knows it's not too late, but wishes it was
Holy shit that actually scares me... I'm 19 now and just got passed a whole phaze of realizing there's more to life than vidya and porn. If the next 10 years of my life amount to nothing I might aswell kms.

>>20432512
>I'm 19 now
I wish I were 19. You have no idea how bad it gets! Do it, Anon! Act, even if you have no idea what to do, for all of us whose time is about to reach the point of no return, and for those of us that have been long parted from it!

>>20432520
there is no point of no return. you have the same mindset as the person you're replying to.

>>20429646
This is every Frederick Barthelme protagonist, but he makes it comfy. Read Barthelme and you will feel good about being a passive coward

>>20432544
I vehemently disagree. At 19 you may still enjoy school time and your time spent in education well, but not 20 years later when you have no time for anything but work and sustaining yourself. That's just one such example, it's "never too late" for most things in life, but enjoyment greatly diminishes as you miss out doing so with your peers.

>>20431317
Letters to Roeckel.

I'm in my late 20's now. I used to have a lot of friends and interests but 6 years of chronic depression, social isolation, and shitty meaningless jobs have just killed any personality that I had and made me a boring, uninteresting person. I do stuff like lifting and exercising and talking to people at work but it doesn't seem to make any difference, I even find myself dull and boring, like I've retarded my own personality. How do you come back from that?

>>20431306
What are easy callisthenic exercises

>>20432742
Same situation. I am actually mostly successful, have a very lucrative job and basically made myself out of nothing - but I don't feel happy. I feel barely anything and have nothing to say to people. I have to act out emotions at work to seem normal. Tried a dozen different things over my 20s and saw a shrink for 6 years or so. Nothing.

>>20429646
LLLETER FORM Y UNDER GROUND WERE WHEW WERE CLASE BUT THAT GOD THAT SISNT ME RUSSIAN NIGGERS ORIBLALY, TFE 33, NEW JOB ORDER, TISEN EVEY DEAY AND EOYOGM EVERY NIGHT, SHITOST MY THOUHGTSO N SOMDE CHAMBER WHICH MY WORDS WILL ENVER REACH ANYTHING BUT MEEEEEEEEEEE, RISE CHOAM UYUUBER SIMPS SHOULD GHET KILLED KILELD RAPEDE PRAPED DESIREVE IT ER THIS IS RELATEBELE VERY BASED CHARACTER MOCING HIGHT ART COMMIY SUSUICE AND YOULL BE IN A NOVEL YOURSLEF, ICAN GOBLIVOB FIRST RAVBVIT IMMEDITELLT LITERALLY EVERYTIHN SOMRYHING SEIGHFRIEND BEING ASYOUTH FAIRY WHO GOES OUT TO TEH WORLD WHERE HE LEARN TIO FEAR TEH WORLD EVEER MORE, FAILES TO OWN HIS HEALTH NATUARAL INABILITY TO SEE THINGS THAT HEUY ARE E FOOLOW THE RABTTITS ANF GHUT IT STOMACH IPEN OIOJNO LIKE A GPPIG, HERO CREATURE WITAN RISEN TRAGIC HEIGHT TO LESSEN LEARN ME HISTORY WILL IMPOSE S BRING CREATIVE MANKIND TO WILL PRODUCT, I MEAN MY HETO IMPRESSION IS WHOLLE AND FOLLLIOW, REPSENT MY IDEAL AND PEFECT HUMAN , KILL ALL, YOUN EED TO BE IOVER, CANT RELATTE CAHOSTIC FUCK YOURSLEF IN INREASUCTION, SMALL CHANGES TO MY CIRCUMSTANCES OF CUM THORNE, FERMATIC SHITS BBASED BASED IN MU IDEAL WORLD, THIS IW M,Y WORLD A TRAP T O TRAP MYSELF, ENSARE MY EPOPLE, IQ IQ IQ LOWER THAN 80, HAPPY JUICE DRINK TI EVER MORE IDONT CARE LEIGHT EAT GREEN GET OUT GET OUT GET OUTGEOTOUT MY HEAD WHILE YOU STILL CAN CAN CAN, OOOPS TOO LATE FOR ME, SOME PEOST 40YEARS OLF VERSION GIVEN UP ILL NEVER GIVE UP IVE ALREADY GIVEN UP IM STILL ALIVE AND WELL, HAOPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY, SENAPY HELTH PROBLEMS FUCKING WWEABS HAPPINESS WHERE COULDI ECVER BE, SPEGS RETARDED MOTHERFUCKER HEIO S MAKE ME DOMRARLIZED FOUND IT RETARDED RARTRAD, LIGHT LIGHT MY COCK AND BALLS, TALK TALK WTO HO I AM TALKING TO OYOU OO UNDERSTAND UDNERSTAND MY TOHUHTS NOWWWWWWWWWW!!!! NORMAL MOPRAM WE ARE, FUCKING BRAION FAG CANCERS, IMPROVE IMPVE OF HWAT CONFICEDNCE LOLOLOLOLOL NROMAL SOCIALITY DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME YOU DUMB FUCKING FAGGOT REATRDERD HOMO REATRDED RETARDDDDDD GO FUCK YOURSLERF, SKUIP SJUP SJUP SUPER BAD LAUIGHT AND LOCVE HHEHEH HLOVE ME HELLLL, BUT BUT BUYB UBYUY SIUPERFICLAIL WORRT ABOUT ORNAL FAGGOT IM NOT GIVEN UP IM STILL AALIVE FRINK OT DEATH BLOOOOOOOD, OYSH /THREAD /SAGE /OPISAFAGGOTASUSUAL /YOUSHOULDKILLYOURSLEF ALECANDER DEEP SEATCH UUOI RELIZE SUICAL FEELING LONG BEFORE YOU EVEN STARTED TALLKKING BUT STILL FUCKING KILL YOURSLEF YOU DUM BF UCKIN REATRD DONT EER REPLY TO ME VER AGIN, WHATS THAT HWT GUTY GRTOMEB GODS BLESS MY GIG HEART OF GOLD ILLEND YOUR ALL UDERRING, SUFFERING SUFFERING, PSUHUP AND ALL ALMAO LMAO TRAION HAVY STRUFF, THE TATAR, YOURE HERE FOREVER TO BE SUFEFERING, IKNOW KNOW NKNWO HWEH VBUT IM STILL NOT GONNA SUFFER I KNOWWWW UGHHHHHHH...... IM SORRTY BUT IM JSTY NOT GONNAS UFFER XDDDD, SUPRED TOO LATE ANONS HEHEEE IM NOT VEEN THAT OLD!! XDDDDDDD DISFREE TO DISGRTEE FRINDS CHORNIC DEPREASSSION SHOUDL KIL UYOUSLEF IM NOT INTRESTING PERSON I DONT HAVE ANTY INTREST, IM BOOOOOORING YAWNNNNNN

>>20432761
im not reading all that but good for you i guess
or sorry that happened

>>20432803
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... SOOOOO ZAMN ZZASEDDDDDDDDDD, I HAVE NO KNEE BUT I MUST KNEEEEL.... M SORRY BUT IM GONNA KNEEL, I KNOW.. HAHHA IHEHAHHAHA IM JUST GONNA.

>>20429646
Molloy trilogy by Samuel Beckett and Double or Nothing

>>20429648
fpbp

>>20429665
1) Read the Quran.com

2) Start praying like Abraham, Moses, David, and Jesus all prayed (In prostration)

3) Go to the mosque

Life will be worth living

>>20429646
Fuck, man. This is me, turning 30 soon. I desperately want to feel alive again, yet I can't bring myself to follow through with anything, like I'm in some kind of limbo. More and more, recently I've found myself genuinely not giving a shit. There are moments I think about Zarathustra talking about needing chaos to give birth to a dancing star. I'm worried I'm going to lose all traces of that chaos, and end up completely dead inside and end up passively committing suicide in one form or another. Yet at the same time, I wonder if chaos can be kindled from an external spark at any time, though that may be a naive thought.
I'm just going to keep waging until I have enough to fuck off to Mexico for as long as I can, and have a stash of precious metals set aside in the States for when I come back. At least I'll end up fluent in another language through immersion, and have time to read what I want. I know it sounds like a romanticized delusion, which it very well may be. For once in my life, I'd like to experience a somewhat longer plan I've made to the end.
Thanks for reading my blogpost, senpai. Just needed to type this out and release it.

>>20432909, read >>20432874

>>20432973
Stop trying to recruit vulnerable individuals into your backward cult. It's disgusting.

>>20432980
I'm the guy he replied to. Don't worry, anon. I may be vulnerable at the moment, but I'm nowhere near being hopeless enough to become proselytized.

>>20429646
DSM-5, ADHD section

>>20433000
>>20432980
Just read, it's the most memorized book in the world after all.

Quran.com

>>20433028
Wasn't trying to be too rude, it's just that I don't think I can pick a single religion to follow. I have a copy on my e-reader along with other religious texts, do you have any recommendations within the Quran to read?

>>20429665
>watch vtubers
And with that any shred of sympathy for you has left my body

>>20429646
If your like this then I suggest you either make a change now or kill yourself.

>>20429646
worst thing is that it is possible to live completely different life, one thatcan be defined as more "normal", by realizing that you literally need to delude yourself into living such a life like you are deluding yourself to life life of inaction

there is no inherent meaning to stuff we tell ourselves nor proofs, just material results

people will call you CHAD if you produce material result no matter how delusional you actually can be

so if you have to be delusional by set of empirically unprovable abstractions, at least chose positive ones

Don't read Kokoro.

>>20433084
>>20430258
>>20429786
Not the anon and I can't assume I watch the same streamers as him, but personally I think your knee-jerk reaction is robbing you of one of the last bastions of the feeling of the golden age of the internet. I like the ones I watch because they're completely removed from the brainrot that has seeped across the internet and all forms of entertainment since 2013. But who knows anon could be referring to one of the literal whores.

>>20433204
>Don't read Kokoro.
why?

Robert Walser

but more joy than self loathing

my diary desu

>>20429646
A Man Asleep by Georges Perec

>>20429646
World as Will and Representation

>>20431139
>AND THEN FUCKING WHAT?
Be a spergy tard but with the strength to match it.

>>20431386
As I said, I eat very little (twice a day, once at work and once after work) I don't have food for breakfast nor the time. And to get fit, I'd have to eat a lot and eat the right stuff.

>>20429646
>age
>schizo
>find girls that resemble girls I knew to be more attractive
>live with parents
>megalomaniac
if you cast a big enough net, you'll catch some fish

>>20431139
stop being a pussy and get over yourself

>>20434310
great advice bro, and then you just take a shower, get a haircut and be yourself!

>>20434426
yes. you are not special.

>>20429646
This was more relatable back when I was a normie. It's impossible to have passion when you have a social life.

>>20429646
Many of these problems can be solved by two simple techniques: the first is to stop valuing what is commonly valued by society and make yourself your own arbitrator of worthwhile and worthless, the second is rectify your internal voice so it stops remorselessly insulting yourself. "Just act" is both stupid advice to give you and also to give yourself. Maybe the truth is to find out that there is no need to act, and that action should only come when necessary. Perhaps some people need more action than others. In any case there is no doubt it will be hard to get out of that rut if you are really as bad as the picture.

>>20434439
that is kind of the whole point of meaninglessness?

some people don't see coping by engaging material matrix as desirable

>>20429646
This wojak just needs to stop being a lazy pussy, it's that simple. I know because I used to be like that. I'm still kind of like that but I'm a lot better than I was.

>>20429646
The Book of Disquiet. Most "literally me" thing I've ever read.

>>20434832
Excellent book, currently rereading it.

>>20429646
Pic also related, welcome to cluster A personality disorder, faggot

>>20429646
The Pigeon by Patrick Suskind.

>>20432544
There is absolutely a point of no return for doing certain things with your life. I wanted to go try and be an Army Ranger like my brother was. I always said I would wait for when I was ready. I spent years doing nothing telling myself I was "preparing," unfortunately while I was waiting, I lost my hearing when a drunk driver swerved into oncoming traffic and hit me head-on. If I had gone for the Rangers like I said I was going to, I might still have my hearing today and be somewhere else, being the person I wanted to be.

>>20429646
Anyone caught in this cycle should try subpsychedelic doses of things like psilocybin or LSD. In my own experience it's actually helping me break out of this trap.

>>20433042
“Lo! man was created anxious”
Quran 70:19

OP pic is very relatable. I read A Confederacy of Dunces this week an loved it so so much, recommend me something pls pls.

Meanwhile in the world of Islam

>>20435017
you people should start to understand that youre great acid experience its like people who said "you should red the bible, it really help me".
you are basically a retard giving retarded
advices like a religious freak.

>>20431283
>It is not as willful as you imagine it to be.
you can say this of anything. this talk more about you that about suicide ideation. suicidal thoughts are real, its a real feeling and a real thought, at least as real as happyness, comfort, hard-working willfullness or whatever thought-feeling you think is really real. its just some kind of stupid bias of too many disney channel and celebrity culture.
suicide exist and is real, deal with it like you can but with honesty at least.
i want to say this to so many people but you are just a random anonette.

>>20429646
That pic hit hard, I've been like this sinceI was 14-15.

>>20435112
They didn't say to have a ''great acid experience''. They said to have ''subpsychedelic doses'', which by that they were more than likely referring to sub-perceptual doses of psychedelics. Look up the definition of that.
''You should read the bible, it really help me'' is no different than sharing any other advice someone has personally benefited from. In this case, a closer analogy would be ''you should take Vitamin D supplements a few times a week, it really helped me.''
If you're going to post on a literature board you should work on your reading comprehension, anon.

>>20435212
>literature board
>dont know what a hiperbole is

>>20429646
Telling freaks to become normal is (not only like telling people with AIDS to lie about it) ironic in two ways. First, we know that when our good society wishes to help others, really, it wishes to use other beings as weight to hypertrophy it's own helping hand. Behind that intention, the truth lay as a still life: decadence in reverse. it's precisely this reason why our society is fucked. Not because we have an increasing amount of losers because of collective sympathy, no, because our most exemplary are arrogant, hivemind, one track bourgeoisie who believe hard work can fix bad blood. The worst thing for them would be to see their closest living ancestor: the total fucking loser: die alone. Their mirror would be broken... as normies have it, the ship goes down with the band playing, not because they love dancing, but because they can't bear to hear everyone drowning. For the good of the world, voluntary starvation. For a future of memetic lepers: work ethic. Because of this, because of the failure or refusal to recognize the real problem, our civilization is going to wind up with higher and higher percentages of these kinds of men. When it isn't just one, but ten losers in a twenty person party, squished into the corner like the meme, compression takes action, and in a moment of jouissance, in statistic suffocation, a diamond is born.

>>20435305
what is "a diamond is born" in this context?. a sudden wrath or violence?. deep sanctified introspection?. what exactly is?, or nothing is exact but poetic?.

>>20435017
Nah just megadose shrooms in a dark room to gain the mindset, for the energy you'll need to abuse amphetamine until you reach your goals.

>>20429665
The solution is simple, and comes with two options: either become a disgusting vtuber yourself or go outside.

>>20429648
>letters
huh?

>>20435305
i hate how the "good times makes weak men weak men make hard times" meme keeps ending up being true.

>>20432756
Answering to you but also to anyone who might be interested in this.
Stick to basics. Pushups and pullups is your shit (there are tens if not more of other "basic" or "easy" exersises, make your research, but start from the two mentioned before, whether it's full body workout or not, they should be in your routine). Get decent at those before moving to le cool skills.
Since you can't just add a plate to have more resistance (well, weighted cali is also a thing, but not for a beginner I think), you will need to do any of the following (or a combination) to compensate for that:
-increase range of motion
-increase sets, reps
-decrease rest time
-add complexity (tired of the normal pushups, you did thousands of them? Take off one hand, do them one arm instead)
If some basic shit is still kinda hard, you can always start with easier progressions. Nothing to be ashamed of. Nobody expects you to go there and do 50 perfect form pushpus, most people in fact won't be able to do something like that, yet they have a perfectly normal life. Do what you can, it takes time to improve, just know why you are doing that. It looks kinda like this:
>Can do pushups?
Cool, if you want some variety and complexety try archers/diamonds. Keep going.
>Can't do a proper pushup?
Start on your knees. Work till you feel like you can do normal pushups. Keep going.
>Knee pushpus too hard?
Go as low as you can, then go up, increase range of motion each workout until you do it properly. Keep going.
>Not even that?
Unless it's a trauma of some sort, man just stop eating junk food, you won't be shreded from that alone, but you will for sure improve your health and fitness. Do them on the wall instead (yeah, standing in front of the wall, again, you are there to improve, and if this is the first step then just cope with that and move on). Keep going.
For more info: http://www.startbodyweight.com/
It's a decent guide and has everything you need to start cali, also compiled in a handy pdf for reference.

>>20429646


You are averse to adversity —id est: to the X factor of flux—, therefore you lack the incentive to exercise decisions by comparing pressures, and preparing measures —id est: via the Z factor of actualization.

>>20430854
Thanks for the reminder anon, luv u

>>20437397
the happier times of my life were always when I would thrust myself head first into things that scared me and I'd never done before, such as new jobs, clubs, starting conversations and inviting people into my life. My latest depressive episode was caused by something I was responsible and caused a lot of torn relationships, and the pain from that event has caused me to become incredibly cautious and adverse to new relationships. I know what I need to do now.

>>20437397
ok so let's say you spent half your life like that

wat do?

>>20437444
you probably wouldn't be asking question like you are now because you'd be having such a damn good time.

>>20429665
Sounds fine, there's no tangible difference between wasting your time like this and the alternatives.

What books would you recommend the Self-Loathing Man of Inaction to snap him out of it?

>>20429646
This is the protagonist in Crime and Punishment, before and after he kills the old woman

>>20429726
>In the first 50 pages, he manages only to move from his bed to a chair
Fucking kek

>>20429646
Me but early 20's :(

>>20430854
Eat meat. Greens are a meme.

>>20429648
Notes from underground, fren

>>20429665
Most important thing is ditching the vtuber stuff. Try to live life as though some normie whose opinion of you you care about is watching over your shoulder all the time. It'd be embarrassing for it to be vtube, right? I mean video games are fine, but. "But anon, isn't this encouraging shame." Yeah maybe, but a little shame is good. Like... I clean up around my place because people might do a surprise visit. Positive shame.

>>20432512
You need to heal your trauma that's subconsciously keeping you this way. If you don't you will never truly change. Youu'll just be fighting against yourself forever and waste precious years of your life struggling.

I'm 29. I've been there. I've been 19 years old thinking to myself, "Damn I really need to make sure my life amounts to something." Listen to me: nothing, and I mean NOTHING is going to work unless you get to the cause of why you're fucking up in the first place. Until that day, you will never TRULY change yourself. True change is within.

For the love of God watch this video so you can have a happy youth. I'm happy now, but to be young and happy is a true gift. Now accept it.
https://youtu.be/4uZw-7bTBEI

>>20429646
the reason for this living is the internet. And it's irreparable. In the past, non-normies would seek another out in the world, but everyone else is perfectly fine online even though it clearly doesn't work. People are lifting and improoving but the real world doesn't matter anymore, it's all online. Like on dating apps, being successful financially doesn't translate anymore, you have to have 4 pictures of you looking handsome with friends. It's a really bad situation.
Women are still a complete let down.
Zoomers have no idea how good life used to be and Millenials were the sacrificial lamb by Boomers who invested in tech.
You can't do anything anyway in the real world, it's probably illegal.

To whichever anons are reading this and are willing to accept it: you might feel like you’re fundamentally broken, that there’s no way out, and that you’re fundamentally undeserving of love. But everyone can change for the better. Even you, even if you don’t believe it right now.

No matter how bad things are, or how rotten you feel, I genuinely hope that each and every one of you finds peace and happiness.

>>20438482
>But everyone can change for the better.
Your wishes are found anon, still isn't it equally soul-deadening to become LikeablePerson34023840 rather than at peace. At what point do you become the Theseus ship of your own soul and replace everything you care about for the sake of others, and what do they do?
So what if Love exists, but exists in a vacuum.
It is my experience that some need love taught to them before they can even recognise it in themselves. pretend I wrote something misogynistic to write off this post

>>20429758
Ask me how o know your life is trash

This is me. This is too fucking relatable
My neuroses is killing me

>>20438506
Why do you think that to become someone capable of being loved, it means you have to change yourself only to suit other people desires? You will achieve the opposite. No one can fall into romantic love with someone that does not acknowledge their own desires and needs. You are right that changing purely to suit other people's wishes will not give you peace.

Every step you take on this path to betterment should make yourself better according to YOUR standards and what YOU want. When you change yourself for other's sake, it is because you love them and value their happiness and are grateful for the joy they bring to your life. But you make these changes in consideration of how it affects yourself, and if it is too much, then it becomes a deal-breaker and the relationship ends. Because no one should have to completely change everything about themselves for the sake of someone else.
You can see this happen when a couple breaks up because one of them wants kids and the other wants to pursue their career. Their love for each other exists, but it does not mean they will end everything they hold dear for the other. It is an incompatibility. If you loved someone, would you want them to throw away everything they hold dear and change everything about themselves just to be able to stay with you? If you had any compassion you would say no.

>>20438615
Thanks for your effortpost anon, I appreciate the words.
My conundrum is such, anons may relate. The genuine self here is that of an autist who over time has gradually become less trusting of others and more bridled with entertaining themselves with lack of others. Untempered this becomes a difficult spiral, not being so able to readily fit into the zeitgeist. So the confident you is now the confident clown. At the end of the day social catharsis becomes via operant conditioning, a total loss and so social desires end. People aren't often loners by choice, it just happens. Love can exist but the sacrifice you make, becoming comfortable with who you are in a way, creates this indescribable void, where all people, things worlds become irrelevant. At some level you need 'skin' or 'touch' to bring you back and if you're a man, especially an odd man, the effort it takes just to have feet on the ground is ridiculous, Sisyphean.
tl;dr normies have a tribe, love is accessible, for others, it's potluck

>>20431139
SPERGS TOGETHER STRONG

>>20429646
I'm reading La coscienza di Zeno and the protagonist have some similarities with it.

Oblomov

What are you even supposed to do if you don't enjoy spending time with other people at all or only very rarely?
Almost every time I've gone to parties or other social stuff I immediately regretted it and ended up just being bored for a couple hours.

>>20438468
And the internet has caused a destruction of our attention span so we can't concentrate on doing worthwhile activities or we do them for a while then pick up the phone.

Alot of these problems are also down to the comparison to others, also exacerbated by the internet. The amount of people now scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and then feeling inadequate and eventually suicidal. And it's most people in society (including myself). People make purchases based on what other people think. I'm pretty sure some people have children or get married for this reason. Societal pressure has always been there, but the internet has put it on nitrous.

Most conversations we have are based around what we have, are going to have, what we've done, are going to do, where we've been or where we're going, who we've seen, who we were with. It's all a competition.

>>20431139
based and gympilled.
Lots of people start lifting because they think it will make them more approachable, but the truth is, everyone is on their phones looking at American news stories all day, and a whole generation and a half of people doing this has made making conversation with strangers on average, annihiliatingly excruciating.
Unless you are going to the gym for the total meme of being stronger for no reason, let the truth set you free from cope.

>>20434439
you're proving his point trying to own him you microbrain

Life is shit for the average man?
GOOD.

>>20429646
Litrally me

>>20438400
Holy shit this is how people unironically think and make decisions

>>20429665
I actually hate weekends because I know I will feel like I wasted them.

>>20440014
Stop watching anime then

>>20435177
Feelings come from nothing and tend to dissipate when you look at the root or source. But yes, they're real of course.

Different circumstances generate different thoughts, change your circumstances and you'll change your thinking too.
t not as suicidal anymore, took couple years of conscious work, in progress.

This whole charade is an emotional discharge perpetuated by though loops and lack of experience caused by inhibition.

Why is it so fucking hard to just let go?!?? WHY DO WE ACCEPT THAT LIVING HELL AS OUR PERSONALITY?!?!?

What is a vtuber? I'm feeling old.

>>20432742
>>20432757

Meds, journaling, outdoors? A good partner? Disciplined hobby that encourages physical movement?

I recommend meds if you are truly lost, I'm just like you from personal experience. I was on meds 2 years ago and felt like a different person. Slept well, wanted to carry on, laughed. Life was enough.

Now I'm off them again bc I can't write on meds. But I think I can find happiness eventually (I think a pro tip here is to find what happiness really means, and it doesn't mean sustained dopamine).

Don't give up--I think the whole point for people like us is to struggle deeply until we hammer out what the opposite of that is. That might be the best possible reward for us. I don't personally envy normies who get up smiling. I see so much more than they do, and I'm sure you do too.

I was gonna make a thread but I feel like this is pretty related.
Anyone know any good books on understanding habits and willpower?

>>20433196
>you literally need to delude yourself into living such a life
based and romantic pilled

>>20441489
this was a pretty good mindset shift for me. I hated when people would say stuff about themselves like "I'm a painter" or something and actively avoided that myself because I thought it was stupid to make an idealized version of myself and I thought people who did that were just lying to themselves. I never realized that I was avoiding creating a personality or identity for myself with that thought process and that's probably one of the bigger ways I've been self-sabotaging myself for a few years.
One of the things he talks about is that part of the system of building good habits is striving towards an ideal version of yourself, and if you never think of yourself as a painter then you'll never actually become a painter.
some of the stuff he talked about I sort of knew implicitly but was good to read in a more comprehensive way.
like willpower. it's good to have lots of willpower, but it's better to design your habits and environment to minimize the amount of willpower you actually need to make the right choices. I understood this in the sense that it's easier to just not have beer in the house and only buy it when I drink with friends than to have it on hand and resist drinking it until I'm hanging out with friends.
It's a good read I think. The only part of the book that I think is a bit weak is the advanced methods section, but otherwise it's great.

>>20433196
>so if you have to be delusional by set of empirically unprovable abstractions, at least chose positive ones

>>20433196
most based post on this board right now.
Take the placebopill

>>20429726
incredible book

People who manage to stay like this for years instead of either growing out of it or killing themselves amaze me.

>>20433204
>they're completely removed from the brainrot that has seeped across the internet and all forms of entertainment since 2013.
In terms of not being SJW/"woke" bullshit, sure.
But the internet, and most forms of entertainment, including streamers and vtubers, are brainrot in and of themselves. I'm not pretending to be any better since I'm here posting on a forum for Bengalese beetle fighting fraternities. But you've gotta recognize at the very least that vtuber garbage, and internet garbage as a whole, is utterly trash and meaningless. Then again, what actually does have meaning? I'm content with just watching birds somehow.

>>20441489
> understanding habits
Literally the first few books of the Nicomachean Ethics, Book III and VII in particular, it distinguishes between Voluntary, Involuntary, and non-willing acts. This is an important distinction, about how choices lead to actions, and the choices you make consistently lead to habits that fundamentally change your character. You'd think it's just a book about "why is this behaviour good" but so much of it is proto-cognitive-science about how behaviors, good or bad, actually manifest in people.
You might also get something out of that trashy Scott Adams book about failing, because he makes an interesting distinction between 'goals' which are finite objectives, and 'systems'. I've heard this described in a number of ways, you have that PARA system which itself seems ripping off GTD which has 'areas of responsibility' against 'projects'. The former are systems, the latter are goals. I mean, frankly,l don't bother with that shit, just read the Greeks.
>and willpower?
The aptly named Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney talks a lot about how willpower is connected to blood glucose levels. And therefore often the problem people have isn't a lack of willpower, but they're just spending their glucose levels foolishly. It also goes into stuff like how people on diets, once they break their diet, will justify binging and stuff like that. Notes here:
https://sive.rs/book/Willpower

>>20432761

>>20433196
Unfathomably based

my schizo housemate is like this
he set the fire alarm off earlier burning food in the oven (again)
rather than do something about it he justs started pacing back and forth, shoulders and head hunched up looking down, muttering he forgot the timer
while the alarm is going and going and going