/lit/ - Literature

>Terry Pratchett's Reaper Man

Undead nigress wizard.

That's all that needed saying, really.

I guess The Savage Detectives is about a group of sassy black women poets.

This book is now entirely unreadable.

Josef K.

>confederacy of dunces

less funny, but would still make me laugh

>>2040356
>Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms
Dear god...

Walden just got 100x more hilarious

This sassy black woman put her husband up to murdering his parents then she poisoned his grandparents... sassily.

Dune Messiah. Fucking lol.

I guess The Book Thief is now about a sassy black Grim Reaper and her encounters with a German girl whose family hides a Jew in their basement.

> "Only a woman with no heart would go swimming the day after her mother's funeral!"
> "Oh no you di-int! I loved my mama! You's just crazy, yuh hear?"

The Train Was On Time
Doesn't really make the book any better.

hmm..

Does that mean every PoV character in a Dance With Dragons is now a sassy brown woman?

>Great
>Expectations

PIP, NO!

A sassy half-black half-Jewish woman in 1920s Dublin Ireland goes throughout a day in a retelling of the myth of Odysseus while dealing with the emotional stress of being cuckolded by her lesbian Spanish wife and the various guilts of her past.

>yfw this turns Ulysses into the ultimate minority-baiting Oprah's Book Club book

>>2040396

Yes, PoV characters are all subject to this change.

>The Trial becomes a modern day social criticism about profiling

Oh dear. Sassy black woman lensman in power armor. This will not end well.

anyone else here think the US government is run entirely by sassy black women?

everyone who works in the government buildings in washington DC and the surrounding states is black and a woman

Apt Pupil (second story from Different Seasons by Stephen King).
For those that don't know it's about a smart kid that blackmailed a old nazi, who came to America illegally, to tell him all the stuff he did. Slowly the kid starts to go insane. Now thing of the kid as a sassy black woman just makes the story so much more crazy. Or even better the old nazi man as a sassy black woman.

>Stephen King's Needful Things

Just a typical day in the ghetto, really.

Oh, and non-fiction counts, too.

I don't care if there isn't a main character, you fucking tell that shit from Whoopi's perspective.

>>2040408
How is Needful Things? Besides the whole overly descriptive and not so great ending.

>>2040406
Government hiring is affirmative action on steroids.

>>2040373
>walden

oh god too much lol

>The Secret Garden

Oh lawdy

>Dance With Dragons

Daenerys eat Drogon, but suffered an absolute charring in the process. I don't know what else to come up with, heh.

>>2040412
Not that guy, and I don't read much King, but it is worth reading. I liked it quite a bit. The villain is really interesting, and there's a little bit of gore, a little bit of creepy, some good characters (the woman with the arthritis + the villain), a little bit of sex so you could put in an apathetic jerk while you're reading, and an interesting plot.

I would pay to own it.

>>2040366
That book made me so fucking sad at the end. Nothing sad happens, but it gives you an alternate perspective.

It's a good book and the author showed some promise, I think. Total bummer that he killed himself and it was published post-hum.

How are you liking it and where are you in the book?

Just re-read 1984

This could be interesting...

>>2040412

I enjoyed it. It's the first Stephen King novel I've ever read. The theme is what really got me, with this one. It was a very far reaching idea, with a very mean outcome. It wasn't too flashy or new, certainly not very scary, but that theme really stuck out for me. I like to imagine that I'd be able to withstand the shit that Gaunt was throwing at Castle Rock, but I know that I couldn't. That's what makes it meaningful, for me.

Not a great work of literature, to be sure, but King set out to do one thing in particular with this book. He succeeded, so I have to give him a bit of credit.

>>2040428

Quick, what's in Room 101?

>>2040406

There wouldn't be so much wasteful military spending if that was the case.

"You think I'm payin 66.7 billion fucking dollars for some fancy ass planes that are too expensive to break? Nah-uh whiteboy, that's some bullshit your pulling there. Original Suzie don't want no costly technological superiority shit, y'here...*starts mumbling*....66.7 billion dollars...lord baby jesus....I could buy a world's supply of Collard greens for that..."

>>2040431
People then to say his work is like Lovecraft. The idea of grinding people to the point of insanity. While his endings normally doesn't seem to fit right I'm normally happy with his stuff.

>>2040449
people tends to say*

Homage to Catalonia.

I'd still read it.

>>2040449

Yeah, I got that impression, too. Alan Pangborn was a nice twist on that. He was the only person in the whole of Castle Rock who was willing to see through Gaunt, who Gaunt feared. I don't know about you, but that scene where Gaunt's seized up in his shop, realizing that Alan has a chance of seeing him? Fucking inspiring. And why? Was it the overwhelming depression that allowed Alan to finally beat Gaunt, or the supernatural events he's witnessed in the past?

I've suffered from depression before. The idea that such a deep pit in my life could, later on, allow me to punch out a fucking demon? That's awesome.

>Don Quixote

A sassy black woman thinks she's a knight, and WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. Her confused squire wonders why the Inquisition hasn't caught this heretical Moor, but stays for the booty.

>>2040438
if you give sassy black women money then they usually will shut up

>>2040463
If you like that try IT. I feel it's his greatest work. The ending SUCKS but everything up to that is amazing.

>>2040468

Thanks! A lot of my friends have recommended that one, but I've been too shy to pick it up. The cpoy that we have is very old, very worn in. I pick it up and I feel like I'm fondling a old lady - the covers are coming off, the pages are dog eared, and it carries a washed out smell that worsens everytime I pick it up.

I'm not sure if that's just wear, or if the book's character is bleeding through. :(

>>2040472
I love old book smell. But I say try it out. I still think the movie scares me. Mostly because I saw it when I was 5.

>>2040467

That's because you've paid them to put a cock down her throat.

>Fahrenheit 451
In a world where books go unread, books remain unread.

I think that she will struggle with the long walk to Mordor.

Wow, Ann Rice became unreadable. Thank you for that! On the other hand, the Twilight Saga has improved by 200%.

"We're gonna need a bigger cross!"

Hesse - Steppenwolf.
LOL'ing so hard.

Mm-MM that little treatise ass pamphlet yall jus handed me best not be no gat-damn borjwa shit cuz I'm a steppin ass WOOF and I'm a innaPENNANT.

>A Game of thrones

NO GIRL YOU LET MY DIREWOLF ALONE HUN
OH SNAP YOU DID WHAT TO MY HOMEBOY NED?

>Bluest Eyes by Toni Morrison
Hmmm...

I read The Picture of Dorian Gray.
>Their motivation and character remain the same
I don't... Well... uh

Les Miserables.
Shit, I actually think it made it better.

Misery: Now with 100% more lesbian and slave-related undertones!

>>2040428


haha, just think about the Room 101 interrogation.

>A Clash of Kings

Oh fuck this is awesome.

>Einstein's Dreams

A sassy fat black woman muses about the nature of time.

I like it.

>>2040369
Oh shit, me too.

The last book I read was Gao Xingjian's Soul Mountain. It's now made completely unrealistic.

>Dark Tower
Oh my god.

Grendel is now a large sassy black woman who devours the frightened white men of the town below.

sounds about right.

>>2041681

"Who you callin' 'Soul Mountain', boy?"

>The Trial, by Franz Kafka

Since I've seen a black woman be hauled away by the police before, I can vouch that the book is at least ten times funnier.

>blindsight

For once in your life, sir keeton, UNDERSTAND!

Ah helll naw. Bitch i OBSERVE!

The Count of Monte Cristo is now the Countess of Monte Cristo.

Fredrick Seidel's Evening Man.

Oh shit.

...Lolita?


I'm still trying to process this.

>>2041702
Jungle fever.

>>2041659
Hey, same here. But which protagonist? Are they all sassy black women now?

>>2041702
God save us all!

The last book I read was Blankets. So now... it makes a lot less sense. Though I guess it takes on a new lesbian tone, so... interesting. That part would actually still sort of work.

>>2041702
I would've loved to have hear his spin on a sassy black females stream of conciousness.

>>2041717
>Sassy black women
>Modernist stream of consciousness story
Sounds like a good book

Down and Out in Paris and London... Oh fucking Lol

NIGGAAAAAAAAAA ME SO HUNGRY YO.

>Robinson Crusoe

>Robiniqua "Teezy" Cruzzle

>>2041738

that just made my day

Book before the last book I read: Ubu Roi by Alfred Jarry.

Pretty sure having King Ubu played by a sassy black woman would work perfectly.

Sassy black timetravelling robot

The last book I read was The Help, so...yeah...

>>2040433
A sassy black woman, duh

>big
>beautiful
>barf

In the dessert you can't remember your weight gain! lol

Queen Latifah is....ANDREI TARKOVSKY!

This ruins the "Lolita, Lolita Lolita Lolita Lolita Lolita [typesetters instructions, fill page]" chapter.

>John Dies at the End

"And I was all, 'shit John! Don't you go in there! Don't you- Aww, hell no! He just went in there! Mmm MM! I am gon' kick that boy's ass once we killed that evil motherfucker all up in there!' and then some ugly jellyfish thang was gettin' down wit a chandelier and I was all, 'Heeeeeeyull naw, jellyfish! That ain't no lady jellyfish!' and then John, crazy mofo, shot the fuggin' thang and it flew right out the window! Oh lawdy, what a week."

>>2042900
There aren't many books which wouldn't be improved by finishing with the line 'Oh lawdy, what a week.'

In fact, oh shit, change one word and Ulysses is 10,000 times better.

>first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes... oh lawdy, what a day.'

>>2042894
Sha. Ni. Qua. unfortunately i don't know enough about places of articulation to continue

...And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of forever. Oh lawdy, what a week.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Holy fuck!

'Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. ... And one fine morning ---- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. Oh lawdy, what a week.'

>Sherlock Holmes

MFW

"Bitch did NOT just get a reservation at Dorsia @8. Girl, hold my earrings (Tiffany's, $1,849)."

first i was like "oh lawd what did my dumbass brother do again there" but then i was like "hell policeofficer stay out of this, this is our business". in the end everything was just too retarded, ya know?!

Artemis Fowl.
I think I could actually like Artemis.

The Priest from Graham Greene's "The Power and the Glory"

OHMYGOD sassy black female alcoholic Catholic priest being pursued by atheist extremists in 1930s Mexico... this is by far the greatest thing of all time. OF ALL TIME.

Sword in the Stone. Marlin as a sassy black woman. My mind can't handle the awesomeness.

UH-UH, suh, yo sho as shit ain't wearing no motherfucking pink tie to the fink-nottle's cocktail party, nuh-uh, oh no you cain't.

>>2042998
Jeeves be on the DOWNLOW.

The Secret History

--Oh no you di-int, Francis.

>For Whom the Bell Tolls

And he was all "Robiniqua Jordan, you best be blowin' up that bridge." And I was all "Nigga, please."

So these bitches be all like "God is like amazing and powerful and shit" and I'm like 'nigga please' and they all 'Sho is' and I'm like 'nuh-uh the world be old as shit, not all that 4000 year rebop'.

>>2043029
*imagine Richard Dawkins as a sassy black woman*
Ok I think no one can truly top that.

dere wuz me, dat iz Shaniqua, an' muh motha fuckin three girlfriends, dat iz Anndee, Jemisha an' Kaydon, an' we's sat in da cluuub trying ta get our grind on and what ta do wif da evening peep this shit

>Rereading books from my childhood
>The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray
>Steampunk alternate universe
>Cthulu Mythos
>Sassy black monster hunter

This book is now ten times better.

Atlas Shrugged.

To Kill A Mockingbird...I dont even

>>2043220
Uh-uh, Jem Finch. Don't you be being all moody n shit justacause you be going through you puberty. You keep that attitude offa me n Dill, cause we ain't studyin' it, Jem Finch. Don' make me get Atticus to whip cho ass.

The Invisible Man is now The Invisible Black Woman.

>>2043226
In year ten english, my teacher, whom I love dearly and is one of those amazing teachers you remember forever, did all the voices of the characters, including very stereotypical black voices. Fuck it was funny.

Infinite Jest

>Ledasha Incandenzizzle

"Momma, I ate this. And it was daaaaaaamn tasty, you know what I'm saying?"

Shanigua is Eddard Stark
>Oh no she dihent, dat white blond cracka ho gon' get popped. Littlefinger, baby, hol ma phon!

>Fight Club
I am Jack's skinny white boy ass, mm mmm!

Oh lawdy, what a week.

The Colour Purple

SHUG X SHUG

Watchmen

Nevah settle gurl. Not even when the end tahms be all up in yo grillz.. That's always been why I stylin' on you, Daniel

>Arsene Lupin

>ARSENE LUPIN

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

A stoic black empress.
I pity the horse.

Shaniqua Dedalus. Portrait of the Artist finally makes sense

>>2043292
I can imagine the whole scene where the priest describes hell being done in a black people church with a gospel choir.

Also, KFC at the christmas dinner.

>>2040462
Don't you be shootin mah neck

>Oedipus

What'yo mean I killed my daddy and married my mother? Teiresias, I will slap your skinny blind ass if you keep talking shit like that!

(I always imagine the chorus to have one sassy black woman in anyway)

My grand daddys and great grand daddys don't mean shit!
Whenever niggers be happy, they aint happy! That shit ain't real!
Check out this nigger Oedipus, he be what I'm talkin about!
He gone capped that bitch ass Sphinx like a motherfuckin OG!
He was a fuckin' pimp!
Erryone round here was all like "Yeah! Oedipus the shit!"
I ain't seen nuttin this fucked up before, not even on my gurl Oprah have I seen shit this fucked up!
Oedipus, you stupid mo'fucka.
You been getting freaky with the same shawty yo daddy been getting freaky with!
Now it's gone caught up with you
I wish I never seen you nigger!
Yesterday I was all "that boy's legit!"
Now I'm all "He ain't shit!"

All the Pretty Horses.

I don't... I just... it doesn't register in my mind...

Dune.
I don't know Frank Herbert would allow that but it would be funny as hell.

>J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan
Oh dear god this is hilarious

>>2043320
There's a joke to be made about Wendy from Peter Pan and Wendy the fried chicken place, but it's beneath me

>>2043324
>on 4Chan
>a joke beneath you
Keep telling yourself that.

>black woman
>beautiful

pick one

A-A Clockwork Orange?

>It is I, Vandelicia and Oh my sisters no one tells THIS girl wat 2 do!!

Monstruous regiment, by Terry Pratchett

I can see it working just fine.

>>2040356
Northanger Abbey

book becomes a million times better

>Aliyah's Adventures in Wonderland
Magical watermelon, talking animals, and nonsensical raps, all another day on the cotton farm.

Something tells me Nikolai Stavrogin won't be taken quite as seriously anymore

I think I have a winner, Streetcar Named Desire.

Blanche ain't taking none Stanley's shit.

>>2043326
Fine, the truth is I can't be bothered

Also:
>Elia Petrovich called for assistance. People ran in from various directions. Raskolnikoff repeated his confession. "Oh lawdy, what a week..."

>>2042979
When you say "Merlin", just draw it out and it sounds like a sassy black woman's name or a sassy black woman saying "Marylin".

>>2043441
"Now Arther, You gonna take that there sword. And then gonna be king of this here place. Oh lawdy, what a week."

Alan Moore's run of Swamp Thing.
One day Alexiuanduh Holland's meth lab erupted into a fire. After she was left dead in the nearby swamp, she was reborn as The Swamp Thang.

The Master and Margarita

I...I don't ...

Ellie Arroway as a sassy black woman?

Oh Lawdy!

>The Help

A sassy black woman helps sassy black women be black and sassy

I'm not sure if Ender still can be considered the main character, but it'd be amusing if he were a fat black woman, I guess.

>>2043550

Yall stupid alien crackas tryin' to make a tree out a me? Aw hell naw!

Who here votes that this is the greatest thread on /lit/

>>2043563
Oh lawdy what a thread

Against Nature by J.K. Huysmans.
A sassy black woman moves into her summer home on Long Island to indulge in reruns of Tyler Perry's House of Payne and jewel-encrusted KFC buckets.

>Corwin of Amber...

Bloody hell, just bloody hell.

>>2043771
Not to mention a rambling essay on the smells of synthetic watermelon and Eddie Murphy's leather catsuits

>Giovanni Giacomo de Casanova

Well... a big, black, lesbian, libertine, mason woman?

Hesusa Rodriguez would be so proud.

>>2043519
Flavor of Love Girls Charm School: A Novel

>Towers of Midnight - BS/RJ

A sassy black woman travels all over the place trying to right the wrongs she caused in the last 12 books among which are single handedly killing over 100,000 trollocs and intimidating the aes sedai.

Brave New World

John The Savage is now a sassy black woman.

Dear god.jpg

Confessions of a Mask just wouldn't be the same.

The Metamorphosis
"Oh hell no I didn't just turned into a insect. Oh heads will roll. Oh lawdy, what a week."

The last book I read was PRECIOUS by Sapphire.

If she were a sassy black woman, I think she'd say:

"Yo, Oprah, I just learned to read, and I read this book you recommended called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.....it seems to suggest that me getting raped by my stepdad twice, giving birth to a retarded baby, contracting HIV, and stealing a bucket of fried chicken was all apparently due to the "law of attraction"? This book thinks I was asking for it? Oprah, do you really think I worked harder than Koko to learn to read so that I could pick up books like this? That's some shameful shit, sista."

>>2045093

Sorry, forgot the book's called PUSH. The movie version is called Precious.

But the paperback has the whole "precious based on the novel PUSH by Sapphire."

>>2045063
hahahaha

Kafka on the Shore

Kafka gets discriminated against for being black and loud.

Less realistically, he's a little more straightforward and has a bit of a don't-give-a-fuck attitude when people ask him what he's doing.

>>2045063

Had I been in Gregor's situation I would've risen up and enslaved the human race.

lolol. this completely changes the feel of raymond chandler books.

Katniss from Hunger Games
>runs to get bow
>girl throws knife to try to kill her
>Katniss: Now hold up, you did not just try to kill me
>Girl: What?
>Katniss: Damn, did you not just hear what I said?
>girl looks at her oddly
>Katniss: MMMHMMM
>girl gets impaled with a mace
Wow

Sassy Black woman journalist moves to San Juan to make some cash, ends up getting intoxicated by the place and starts making arangments to stay. Falls in love with crazy mans woman.

I thin you have either ruined The Rum Diary or made it infinitley better.

nietzsche is a black woman?
i like

Now that I think about it Baron Harkonnen is pretty close to a sassy black woman.

> Catcher in the Rye

She didn't write the paper for Stradlater.

She seduced Ackley.

She didn't walk from Pencey prep to the train station because it was too damned far and cold and she doesn't do the walking thing, so she took a cab the next day.

She doesn't wear the hunting hat because she'll be damned if she's going to let some dumb hat fuck with her hair.

She got into loud fights with numerous bartenders who wouldn't serve her drinks because she's underaged.

She didn't tip the cab drivers and she didn't give a fuck where the ducks were.

She beat the living shit out of Maurice and Sunny.

She still did a lot of spotting of phonies but her digressions turned more to their "trifling bullshit" than their phoniness.

Mr. Antolini gets slapped down for creeping up on her in her sleep.

Because she loves Phoebe she decides to stay.

In the end it turns out that she got pregnant when she seduced Ackley and now she has essentially become Precious.

Sherlock Holmes

....
I think everything changed.

Captcha: nismbi project

Tropic of Cancer
Let's take a moment to think about this, eh?

All of Infinite Jest is now about Wardine.

>>2049154
wardine be cry
    ;_;    

>>2042907

>There aren't many books which wouldn't be improved by finishing with the line 'Oh lawdy, what a week.'

I believe it none the less because that nook is in a Church, and she was weak and erring. Oh lawdy, what a week.

But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union. Oh lawdy, what a week.

Now what the hell ya suppose is eatin' them two guys? Oh lawdy, what a week.

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. Oh lawdy, what a revolution.

He loved Big Brother. Oh lawdy, what a dystopia.

The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway
leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky—
seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness Oh lawdy, what a continent.

‘I shall feel proud and satisfied to have been the first author to enjoy the full
fruit of his writings, as I desired, because my only desire has been to make men
hate those false, absurd histories in books of chivalry, which thanks to the exploits
of my real Don Quixote are even now tottering, and without any doubt will soon
tumble to the ground. Farewell Oh lawdy, what a knight.

>>2041702
Imagine if Queen Latifah liked em young.

>Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson

There is no end to the hilarity of that idea.

Well...Michael from "A Pastoral Poem" just became an 80 year old sassy black women who cares for her son.

>>2049321
Women are gross. I am a woman and I relate to these posts and don't mind them at all. Manly grossness does not bother me either. Pussies.

>The Gospel According to Mark - Borges

I
I don't even

alternatively,

>The Awakening

now it's about a downhome girl gettin' some in-duh-pen-dence for once, big black beauties, and interracial relationships.

Also the first ocean scene involves a whole lot more splashing and screaming.

Daenerys Targaryen is now a big black woman with a big black dragon. Jorah Mormont continues informing on her for money and she hasn't found out. The Storm Crows never join her ranks. The Dornish Prince challenges Hizdahr to a duel for her hand in marriage and wins, losing her Mereen. The last seen is her, Jorah, and Frog riding off to Westeros on their respective dragons.

>>2049421
>seen
>scene

>>2049409
Thanks for reminding me what the title of that story was. First Borges story I ever... well, I didn't read it I listened to it, but still.

The Broom of the System by DFW

>mfw

So first I was all in my bathroom and some cracker-ass mufucker from da gubmint want to pull down my house, then some big green sonofabiyatch comes and blows my goddamned planet. I'm all "Oh no Vogon, oh no you di'int" and they're all "talk to the hand, sista" and I mad, mmmm-mmmm I mad. So there I is, in my negleejay and my slippers, and some flyboy cracker with two heads ups and takes me on his ship, no word of a no-nevermind, and there I is, with some dumb-ass book and a gang of freaks, and Artiqua Dent don't do the readin' thang. That's fo bustas and narcs.

Great Expectations

Wat

>>2049428
I really can't picture Lenore as a sassy black women.

>Rinshaquina the Wizzizard in Tyler Perry's the Brown Colours of Magic

>Pnin by Nabokov

I can't make it work.

>>2041598
Shiiiiiit! I don't know how to read them books anyhow. Let's get that 4th wall of TV up in here!

>MANY YEARS LATER as she faced the firing squad,
>the sassy black woman was to remember that distant afternoon
>when her father took her to discover ice.
>At that time Macondo was a village of twenty adobe houses,
>built on the bank of a river of clear water that ran along
>a bed of polished stones, which were white and enormous,
>like prehistoric eggs

Doesn't fit.

>James Clavell's Shogun
First, the book is not +1000 pages long because one of the angry samurai kills the protagonist because she's sassy, i.e. lacking manners. If she survives, the sassy black lady will be walking around with two swords and at one point fighting ninjas... I can't this decide if this is awesome or just weird...

>Modelland by TYRA BANKS, GRL.
Absolutely nothing except now she's fat, too.

>O Pioneers
Makes perfect sense.
In fact, I think it would be a major improvement. Alexandra would probably be more likable with an attitude.

>Matthew Mark Luke John

O lawdy what a passover week.

>>2049836

>Sassy black woman
>Fighting ninjas

Oh lawdy what a Queen Latifah video.

Uh-uh, I just KNOW you didn't throw that shuriken at me bee-yatch. Yeah? You wanna throw hands, cos I can throw hands.

"Oh Hell no, ain't no white man gon push niggas around like that. Hold my drank, bitches, I'mma go inside and have a word with they bitch asses."

But when she stepped into the bar she was merely brushed aside by an officer, and she had not the moral fortitude to protest...

Dasein is a fat black woman?

One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a sassy black woman

>Fight Club

"Hit me!"
"Girl, hold my earings so I can bust this nigga up!"

Something tells me the people of Sark (anyone know the demonym?) would have liked Mr Pye a lot less if he had been sassy and black.

>>2049936
Oh lawdy, what a week

A-A Clockwork Orange...?

>it is I, vandelicia, and oh my sisters no one tells THIS GURL wat 2 do!! thumbs up if thou agree

>>2040356
Dresden Files book 4....

Oblomov is now a lesbian. Stoltz, still being his friend of german descent is even more upset with oblomov.

>>2050277
Instead of nadsat it'd be written in ebonics and I am surprisingly okay with this

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode
she sed "bbz wil u luv me 4evr"
he said "NO.."
da gurl cryed N ran accross da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.
boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whsipered 2 her corpse
"I ment 2 sey I will luv u FIVE-ever......" (dat mean he luv her moar dan 4evr....)
lik this if u crai evrytaim

"The Prelude; or, Growth of a Sista's Mind"

Ohohoh, /lit/, I think we've got a masterpiece on our hands.

Sassy black female Sherlock Holmes and/or John Watson?
Hell fucking yes.

>Child of Fire.
>Pic related.

Fuck...

Well, I think Annalise would kill Ray before the first chapter's up, considering her "take no shit" attitude...

Invisible Cities will never be the same again

Kafka Tamura? im not even sure what a sassy black women is since im not american. is it a a womun 'wit attitude'?

>>2050957

R.P McMurphy? Not whole lot would change.

Eye of the World

"MUTHAFUNKEN FADE ALL UP IN MY VILLAGE WIT DEM TROLLACS!"

>>2051734
Most of the female characters are already pretty sassy. The difference is frankly negligible.

Welding Principles and Applications, 6th edition:

"Usin the CO2 straight don't cost shit and gesisself into the metal a whole lot more deep. But don't say I didn't warn you when you come complaining to me thatchyo new hair you spent two-hundred gettin weaved up stink now because the smoke it make is jus outta control."

>>2051835
Of course this is why I love going to a southern vocational school anyways.

Carl Sagan just got a whole lot wacky.

Invisible Man

suddenly this book is less boring

We

I can't...how would that even...?

"We gotta be careful gurl, that funny snake-lookin' mutha fucka could be watchin' us."

Three orphaned sassy black women go to live with their new guardians whilst the dastardly Count Olaf pursues them and connives to steal their family fortune.

>>2051881
I think the main character, and therefore the sassy black woman, would be Count Olaf. Or the narrator

Bump.

Last book I read was this.

dammit. my protagonist is ALREADY a sassy black woman.