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/lit/ - Literature

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20327458 No.20327458[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Is adulthood realizing that beneath any interaction that appears superficially "normal" or even friendly, there exists a hidden self-interested motivation? I have a very naive view of relationships, so as I age it's just bleak seeing how self-interest underpins so many relationships. Since I am now becoming "conscious" of these motivations, that must mean that certainty other people are conscious of them as well and I find that in adulthood this complementary realization drives a hidden wedge between two people who can never relate except in mutually utilitarian way with a don't ask don't tell policy. The only relationships that escape this predicament to some extent are close blood relatives (but it's still variable) and early childhood friends (again variable). This leads to an erosion of trust since it seems every adult relationship rests, and this is best case scenario, on mutually acknowledged respectful cease fire that is however largely determined by changing personal circumstances. In short, adult relationships are basically psychopathically utilitarian and once, through repeated exposure, pick up on this social undercurrent, it leads one into a detached cynical adulthood. Of course, I am not a doomer, but this is a peculiar situation, it really brings home the idea that the good in life are mostly just small moments and that there is nothing you can do except to be fair and good yourself while trying not to be naive at the same time and swallowing the injustices as something to be expected. All is vanity, and really, there is nothing new under the sun.

>> No.20327473

no that's not what adulthood is
that doesn't mean there aren't selfish adults though

>> No.20327481

Go and watch Neon Genesis Evangelion.
>b-but anime le bad
Just do it you cunt. You sound autistic so you'll love it.
I'm being hostile because I love you.

>> No.20327510

>>20327481
Not watching anime

>> No.20327512

>>20327458
You say you're not a doomer, but you are putting a negative spin on something which is really just a neutral fact.
Of course everyone is self-interested. But happiness isn't some fixed pie, so who cares? Me pursuing my self interest does not mean screwing over and exploiting everyone around me. In fact it's much more in my interest to build up the people around me and strengthen my coworkers, friends, and family.
You should read Stirner, both his main work and also his response to his critics. It will help you see egoism in a more positive light to balance out your inherent negativity.

>> No.20327536

>>20327512
>Me pursuing my self interest does not mean screwing over and exploiting everyone around me.
And you want us to be optimistic that everyone is like you? How did optimism work out for the bitch Candide?

>> No.20327542

>>20327536
You just need to screen the people you associate with to see if they have this mindset or if they're just trying to leech off you.
Nobody's saying you have to hang out with exploitive and toxic people, anymore than you have to hang out with black people.
We have free association

>> No.20327554

>>20327458
>The only relationships that escape this predicament to some extent are close blood relatives (but it's still variable) and early childhood friends (again variable)
Those are the ones that are most guilty of ulterior motives. You're maintaining their trust in the unconscious expectation that they will help you in a bad situation. The random conversations with strangers you will never see again are the pure ones.

>> No.20327559

>>20327458
This is neoliberalism’s fault.
Human relationships are no longer based on trust, obligation, familial duty or friendship.
They are transactional.
It’s not your fault bro, it’s the fault of the system.

>> No.20327600

Hedgehog's Dilemma.
Tldr, it might hurt but you should do it anyway. Stop running from pain.

>> No.20327603
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20327603

>>20327542
I agree. And may the odds be in your favor, to all who wish to prove to me, that you're worthy of me giving my blood/sweat/tears to you.

>> No.20327694
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20327694

>>20327458
Well put OP.

Seems to filter some people harder than others. This modern capitalistic market of social ritual, so to speak. It's getting hard to feel the same passion from my youth. Not sure what to do, there's probably no way out of this situation.

>> No.20327722

>>20327458
Yes, that's how relationships work, but friendship and mutual benefit are not exclusive. Relationships start out of a sense of necessity or interest, but by recognising in the other person that same motivation you leaen to respect him, seeing he is not a tool but an equal, then friendship starts.

>> No.20327740

>>20327458

Sex and violence is what underpins social behavior

>> No.20327741

>>20327694
Yet, it also seems like a natural progression in the way of behaviorism and evolution. I'm not sure one could blame capitalism entirely, but I'd still say recent societal processes intend to filter out individuals like us

>> No.20327843

>>20327458
exactly the veil you need to lift in order to get meaningful relationships

>> No.20327860

>>20327481
> coom series for shut-in teens
> "no it's totally made for adults because the characters tell the audience what they're supposed to feel"

>> No.20327873

>>20327458
No, that’s young adulthood.
Normal adulthood is knowing that a few pleasant words with a stranger on the street with no real objective beyond pleasantries is more precious than any physical object they could give you.

>> No.20327874

>>20327481
I know people on here will largely hate on this recommendation (both because anime and even within anime "It's a meme series!!!"), but I unironically agree. Any young adults here going through this realization about relationships/the world around them stands to benefit from at least watching all of the original episodes in that series. They helped me a ton in processing that when I was younger, at least.

>> No.20327875

>>20327554
This guy gets it.

>> No.20327883

I'm so fucking confused by what people think /lit/ the board is meant to be for

>> No.20327886

>>20327458
What's worse is the absolute glee, the unashamed unreserved enthusiasm, with which people will turn on you the moment you are down on your luck. The way that people will jump at a chance to rip into you the moment they smell blood. The millions of tiny, self indulgent cruelties inflicted, and the smug, self satisfied ways that they justify it to themselves. Good people exist, but they're few and far between.

Once you've lost those few good childhood friends idk if there ever is any return to innocence.

>> No.20327888

>unlikable sperg blames bad relationships on society
Many such cases.

>> No.20327930

>>20327873
This doesn't contradict OP's ideas in any way.

>> No.20327943

>>20327930
If it didn’t seem to I must not be expressing it properly.
Even the briefest relation between people is holy and an end in and of itself in a way that does not involve transactions.

>> No.20327951
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20327951

>>20327930
>>20327943
TL;DR to borrow from Frasier: how could we possibly use human interactions to get what we want? Human interaction IS what we want.

>> No.20327984
File: 22 KB, 385x363, 71OFCJJxbjL._AC_UX385_ (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20327984

>>20327883
Hero's Journey