/lit/ - Literature

literally have sex

>>20284410
Stop swimming in guilt and self pity and read Bakker.

>>20284410

Life.in America.is a ruthless mudfight. Most people are giant chimpanzees. If you don't start playing the game now, the other chimps will rip you into fucking pieces. Because killing and castrating other men feels.good. And they will do it to you "socially"

>>20284410
Go to church more regularly.
Take an abstinence pledge

>>20284410
your attachment to the virtues of catholicism stem from your own ego and its aspiration for greater meaning and purpose. you can hold yourself to moral values without the institution. you can hold yourself to moral values without the arbitrarily imposed social code. sex is natural, to inhibit that part of yourself because you've attached some sense of meaning to abstinence merely because of its association with a human convention that is as amorphous as the tides is as equally damning as to engage in lust ravenously. find the balance.

read 'wisdom of the desert fathers' from merton. he was a catholic monk that struggled with the same issues.

>>20284426
I already go to church regularly, and I don’t honestly think an abstinence pledge is what I need. I don’t have a problem controlling my actions, just my desires

>>20284410
Read The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis, a prominent Christian apologetic.
Pay special attention to the chapter on Eros to remind you that sex has spiritual significance so it’s a sin to do it casually but there’s also more to marriage than sex.
>How am I supposed to cope with voluntarily watching my youth pass by like this, totally wasted? I’ll never get these years back, and it hurts so much.
How are you wasting your years? You’re doing better than most people and are investing in your future, you’ll have a much better life than most people.

>>20284434
Thanks anon. I’ve read some
Merton and really liked him, but haven’t gotten very deep into his corpus of work. I guess my question is whether it is really possible to escape from the sense of guilt and shame associated with actions, when these associations are so deeply ingrained in the self

>>20284452
Thanks for the rec. I guess what I mean by wasting my years is that I know that whatever physical beauty, fitness, and energy I have now are fleeting, tied directly to this period of my life. Traditionally, this would be the age when I’m building a family, but that just isn’t appealing (or particularly feasible) in modern am*rica, and like I said, I’m not motivated in that direction.

>>20284421
What did he mean by this?

>>20284421
>>20284475
It’s Satan trying to lead OP astray.
Tempting you to abandon your morals, this never ends good.

>>20284454
don't take this as condescending, i actually empathize with your position, but you have to really try and internalize that those ingrained associations are as fluid as any other mental, emotional, or psycho-spiritual force. imagine there are two paths stretching out before you, one in which you grit your teeth, pray hard enough and overcome these feelings of personal inadequacy, the other, you make the conscious decision to step away from the doctrinal constraints by which you live your current life, facing the guilt and shame that permeates a presumed 'failure' in hopes of a better life. both are tempting, both will be hard. you may consider the former more virtuous, overcoming the shadow of sin, but if you were set on that, the question and issue you have wouldn't exist.

i recommended merton specifically because it was his delving into taoist and buddhist thought that brought peace to his soul. it was true of the jesuit missionary matteo ricci in ancient China also, his comparative text 'The True Meaning of the Lord of Heaven' speaks to the abundance of spiritual weight one can find in the self rather than that of rote edicts. read the tao te ching, (merton's commentary and translation if it helps take the edge off) pray, but not simply to overcome your issue, pray and meditate on what lies beyond that. i say this all as one from a christian worldview myself. good luck

>>20284498
I’ll definitely read those books. I have done some reading in the Taoists and found it all very edifying. Of course, there is always the (perhaps neurotic, perhaps justified) doubt that anything which might compel me to deviate from my current direction is “satan”

>>20284553
trust in your idea of the divine, you may consider yourself devout, but those that founded the church would consider much of your life and morality as stemming from satan as is. the metaphysical nature of God and what Christ represents are ever-important, anything you come across that trips your 'heresy' alarm should be assessed logically, either it violates the fundamental axioms of your faith or it doesn't. as you go you'll realize a lot more doesn't than does, and your connection with God can only be bolstered from that. consider where you are now. it's a valley; any movement can only be up.

>>20284475

Women and normies will sadistically punish him more and more the longer he willingly delays or departs from the sexual mores of his own society. Sexuality is the only form of power most people ever experience, because they're poor, stupid, and thrust into bad circumstances. And they're not good at anything. And the.majority clusters together into a large mass with a single common type, and that singular resentment and single release valve. OP will have casual sex and serial relationships, according to normal social mores,.or they're going to eat him alive. 23 is almost too late

>>20284613
Honestly you might be right about it being too late (which would make my life easier). I don’t even know how these games are played

>>20284410
Books alone aren't enough to cure a case of literal christcucking. You need an entire perspective shift catalyzed by meditating on the origins of organized religion and agricultural society shifting behavior norms. The friction you feel is natural. It's your true self (animal nature) fighting against fragile human constructs of pure hubris.

Also the reason you are struggling particularly hard right this second to the point you made a thread about it is related to the time of the year. This is seasonally when humans feel an increase in sexual drive and exhibit increased sexual promiscuity and decreased inhibition. It's also when bipolar folk are most likely to flip into manic mode to facilitate getting knocked up/knocking others up. Obviously not everyone is bipolar, but we're all on the spectrum and feel it a bit.

>>20284613
>>20284647
None of this is true, begone Satan

>>20284410
>Sex is the only aspect of marriage that seems interesting to me, the only thing about marriage that is not equally attainable through non-romantic friendships, even though it is not legitimate to pursue it for its own sake.

I think you misunderstand the nature of sex within marriage. In the context of marriage, sex is a procreative and spiritual union which unifies man and woman at a cosmic level. This is what makes your partnership with your wife on an entirely different plane of existence than your other friendships. I mean, you are potentially creating life together with someone who has pledged their earthly existence to you. That shit is real.

>watching my youth pass by like this, totally wasted

Having sex doesn't suddenly imbue your life with meaning, especially since outside of marriage and faith it is base, messy, and over in a second. Are those around you really having more fun? The modern world is a degenerate cesspool of meaninglessness and mental health issues so I don't take notes.

Finally, while I'm not trying to say that you'll definitely change your mind about wanting to get married but in case you do: if you want a virgin Catholic wife, you better be a Catholic virgin yourself.