/lit/ - Literature

>>20220011
This sort of free verse crap with its stranglehold on modern poetry really had me convinced I hated poetry. I had to go back and read romantic era poems to even see the point of poetry as an art form. I wonder how many other people have been turned off of poetry because of this

>>20220011
It's a good poem you cuck. An ancient spiritual idea (connection / analogy between femininity and the moon) conveyed with an effective image of the two being side by the side. The form suggests something of the slenderness of a woman; the lack of capital letters does the same. The short lines suggest the immediacy of sensation, as distinct from thought.
'Wanders' is the perfect verb; it fits the softness of the moon, it has ideas of exploration and beauty, and it conveys something of woman's liberation and freedom to explore different lifestyles (this poem seems to be liberal feminist, celebrating femininity). 'Wanders' fits into the immediacy mentioned before; she's taking life as it comes, with no fixed destination- the lack of a full stop at the conclusion also conveys this lack of finality.

>>20221094
Shut up, discord tranny.

>>20221094
>Wanders' fits into the immediacy mentioned before

Wanders does NOT evoke immediacy you terminal brainlet

>>20220925
>I wonder how many other people have been turned off of poetry because of this
damn near me
had to read some bukowski and beat-era shit before I had any respect for free-verse
could never get into the romantics though
seemed like they cared too much about what other people thought

>>20221094
A good and even-handed take.

>>20221114
t. retard
Someone who is 'going' a place has no immediacy. They have a destination and that is where their thoughts are. Someone who is 'wandering' is experiencing the immediacy of the moment and that is where their thoughts are.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, playfully watching me
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical
There are times when all the world's asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
Please tell me who I am

>>20221127
more like AMAB-handed

>>20221133
Wandering is analogous to meandering. It invokes no sense of immediacy.

>>20221117
>Bukowski

Shit taste. If you like contemporary free verse, read Simic, Strand, Wright, Heaney, HD and if you want something highbrow, Eliot and Pound. Bukowski is not a good poet.

>>20221137
>assigned male at birth
Yes, I assumed that poster was a man, you fucking retard.

>>20221094

>>20221117
Bukowski is genuinely way worse than Rupi Kaur & derivatives. He is solely responsible for that style of poetry, anyway.

>>20221169
>He is solely responsible for that style of poetry, anyway.
Yes.
>Bukowski is genuinely way worse than Rupi Kaur & derivatives.
No.

>>20221094
in other words its a poem for sluts
got it

>>20221094
This had better be bait.

>>20221148
>it invokes no sense of immediacy
I believe you're taking immediacy to mean energy, urgency, etc. when I've already made it clear that this not how I'm using it. I'm using 'immediacy' to describe a direct / instantaneous mode of being rather than one that looks to the future.
The poem clearly implies that this is a feminine way of being, and indeed, 'females are less patient than males' according to science.

>>20221209
>I'm using 'immediacy' to describe a direct / instantaneous mode of being rather than one that looks to the future.
What you're doing is reaching to prop up your idiotic post. No one, on first, second, or fifteenth thought, thinks this.

>>20221148
>>20221214
Youre an actual npc.

>>20221228
She's not gonna sleep with you bro, please stop simping

>>20221228
Two people (at least) think you’re stupid btw

>>20221214
Honestly you just lack verbal IQ. Anyone with a high verbal IQ would be able to grasp how 'wandering' was being linked to immediacy, especially with how much context you had.

>>20221094
Hey anon I really respect this bait. It's well argued and I can't disagree with you, but I will humbly assert that the poem is still low effort dog shit

>>20221233
>>20221240
Seriously if you dont think wandering has any immediacy then you are an npc. Go watch some more netflix with nigger speech kek.

>>20220925
same

Ahem. Fuck free verse and fuck women

>>20220011
Alright anons, let's see you reformat it.
>with the mo
>on by her
>side
>she wan
>ders
>through the night

>>20223316
Seriously. Everytime some broad says she's working on her poetry it's free verse femoid nonsense.

>>20221209
>wandering has a different connotation based on the gender of the wanderer

Ok, I was being trolled, lol carry on

>>20221094
It's more like grafiti then a poem. The focus is on the visual, rather than auditory - line breaks don't serve to divide the text into recitative units, but to give a visual aesthetic. 'with the' 'by her' 'side she', these breaks are prosodically meaningless. The text is so short it is a grasped as a whole unit: 'with the moon by her side, she wanders through the night.' This is a single line, a fragment. The moon being a travelling companion is a nice image, but nothing breathtaking. Any poet worth his salt, like the mentioned Romantics, would string and develop this theme by a multitude of lines of similarly evocative imagery, while having a more musical metre, satisfying rhymes with the end result being a rich reading experience of growing intensity and complex yet universal and relatable meaning. This is not a poem, let alone a good poem, this is in best case something that is a start of a poem. This is social media fodder

>>20221094
Nice bait.

Antares, star of memory,
Her name I whisper unto thee;
Be thou tonight my messenger
And featly bear my love to her,
When she, as I, with like desire,
Gazes upon my sanguine fire,
Dreaming of all thou sawest of old,
Things not to be forgot or told,
And borne beyond all others' knowing
By tongueless Lethe in its flowing:
Till, gazing thus, in one same thought
Our hearts shall be together brought,
And each insuperable mile
Forfeit its triumph, for awhile.

>>20224866
>desire
>fire

>>20221094
I know this is bait, but you should be ashamed of defending the line “with the” as an acceptable poetic unit.

Fuck you
Retarded
Fisher-
Man with no-
Thing but bait
In this
Shitty thread

>>20220011
It's shit. There's no meter.

>>20221117
>bukowski and beat-era shit