/lit/ - Literature

>>20140474
Is this from Joseph Anderson?

You have to give away your soul or become a zoanthrope
This shit made me physically recoil to read. So robotic, so void of any artistry. Most sentences begin with "i saw". Abysmal lack of commas. Non-existent semicolons. Just about zero variation in sentence structure. Not to even mention that the entire passage presented basically a single idea. LE MAGIC FLAEM. Let me mention how NEAT it is over and over again
Fuck earth and fuck bugmen

>>20140474
write 2 to 3 lab reports every week for a decade

>>20140495
yes

>>20140576
It's so bland it becomes memorable.
>nodded my answer
Like, come on bro. Channel your gaming autism and give it some detail for fucks sake.

>>20140474
Lot of people missing the clear references to Moses and the burning bush. "The Man". Note how his name is not revealed yet he possesses the Divine Fire.
Our main character is afraid and bashful, this too recalls Moses, and more interestingly, Jerubaal.
The most emotionally affecting passage concludes with The Man leaving our hero alone, but with just a little of His light. Though he is afraid, he still falls asleep. It is enough to make a man weep.
Clearly this is the work of a man who has cultivated a strong and personal relationship with the LORD.

>>20140679
Thanks, Joseph. Don't you have people to grift on a stream? Better hop to, those three kids aren't gonna not watch themselves while your mentally ill wife gets stoned.

>>20140474
This is even funnier if you imagine it being read in monotone by a dude who’s balls haven’t dropped yet

for me the best part is how it abruptly ends
>I fell asleep

>>20140474
filter words make everything look like it was written by an ai.

>>20140679
based symbolism understander, prose is for plebs

>>20140679
>>20141610
cope joseph

>>20140532
But... Dude! It's Magic!

> *an* NPC

>>20140474
Somehow, I don't hate this. It's repetitive and boring in a way that reminds me of being gently rocked to sleep. I could never stomach a whole book of it, but I admire how it doesn't even try to be interesting.

I woke up. The small flame was still flickering. In the doorway, I could hear door opening sounds. Someone came into my bedchamber and paused next to my bed, where I was pretending to sleep. I was feeling a mixture of curiosity and fear.
"Are you awake?" said the man.
I did not respond. Gently, he nudged me in the ribs. I thought if I pretended to be asleep, he would go away. Instead, I felt him nudge me harder. And then he wiggled my foot.
Something not unlike a sausage slapped against my cheek. It slapped me three times, and on the third time, it felt really stiff. Like an erect penis. And then I heard the man hike up the bottom part of his robe. The bed creaked as he climbed up and straddled my face.

>>20140733

>>20140474
Why would you want to do that?

>>20140474
>My summaries fall short and sound hollow, even as I read them back.

>>20140474
Start with What the Buddha Taught and the Heart Sutra

>>20143871
go on...

>>20140532
The semicolon simply has no purpose. I roll my eyes whenever I see one.

>The semicolon simply has no purpose. I roll my eyes whenever I see one.

>>20144844
fucking retard, it is a biiiiiig coma

Rewrite this /lit/. Ill start:
>Ohhhhh how cold the winds of darkness were on my drained day's life, ahhhhh how this man of the aether towered with his twisted channels of wrinkles. His face a liquid sown field, convulsing like a horror with each word, his spitting phlegm locked in an elemental battle with the flame of ancient wizardry locked between his skeletal fingers, the glow of civilization between us.
"Ahh yes ahhh fire. Oooo candle." His three dying teeth presented themselves, dancing to his laughter. The finger snap so furious and my vision painted by tears, the wax tower came alight - NO - it was not this madmans fiery finger demon it took, it was my sensory consciousness and oooooooo how glad I was to be taken to the void, my mind in the candle.

>>20145006
needs more semicolon

"I use magic. Only candlelight is allowed here. Do you want candlelight instead of darkness?"
I nodded despite the darkness. Fire emerged from his fingers. My village's wizard could not make fire like this.
He said: "This tower has good things and bad things."
He moved the fire near the candle on the table, paused, smiled, laughed, and lit the candle.
He said: "This candle and its flame are very good things! The candle doesn't melt and the flame stays until you blow it out. Understand?"
I said: "Yes." The fire turned blue and then yellow.
He said: "Sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."
He left and closed the door. I lay on the bed, looked at the candle, got under the furs, warmed the bed, and slept.

>>20143929
Jesus why is this so funny just both of the final responses are hilarious

>>20140474
This honestly doesn't seem that bad.

>>20145006
>>20145102
>The wizard snapped his fingers and a flame lighted the alley.
>"Oh cool"; I say; looking at his burning hand. "You can do mag..."
>"Niggers could be here"; says the wizard; his eyes darting around;; "I've never been in this part of the castle."
>"What are nig..."
>"Let me tell you about the jews."

>>20146090
shit/10

Was this a joke?

>>20140679
Deep

>>20140532
rip gene wolfe

>>20140679
Came here to post this

>>20143929
top kek

>>20140474
(1/2)

My fair reader might ask how it came about that I found myself in a dark room with no recollection of past events, with the smell of garlic invading my nostrils, and a huffing and puffing stranger breathing into my face.
In truth, there were plenty of questions I myself wished to answer.
As a terrible snorer, the sudden cessation of my rumblings and the stirring of bed sheets beneath my bottom thereafter must have alerted my companion that I was awake. I felt bad for him, he could have woken me.
'You've seen that I can use magic.' He began.
Some clarification graced me; it was the old man who lay beside me in the warm bosom of the bed. But this did not explain why he resisted the urge to light a candle.

>>20147890
(2/2)

'Unfortunately, it's not possible to leave a light in here with you unless I light a candle.'
It was an astute observation.
'That means a little fire.' he continued, how exciting. 'Are you okay with that instead of being left in the dark?' He asked. It was passed my bed time but I agreed to the codger, he made such an effort to get into bed with me.
Thereafter he clicked his fingers so to produce a flame between us. But I gathered the effect did not match his expectations, for as the light graced our faces near to each other, my blank expression of complete disinterest made the excitement drain from his sagged eyes and smile.
We were soon enveloped in darkness again.
Unfortunately, the flame – being fire – burnt his fingers and he shook his fingers to snuff them.
After some vocal complaints of my companion and the rustling of the bedside table, I heard the spark of match before a candle illuminated me and my partner again. It seemed to me that my friend took such pride in his parlour trick that he sincerely wished that it would impress me. And so, being an accommodating fellow, I decided to support his one-man act as patron saint.
He held the candle closer to my face and said, ‘This tower is full of magic and secrets.
Some of them are dangerous,’ my friend explained. ‘Others are helpful.’
I nodded in keenly, and pulled the bedsheets up to my chin.
‘This candle is the helpful kind of magic.’ He paused for a moment, I suppose he realised that the candle was not lit by magic, but my friend did not relent.
‘As long as it stays in the tower it will never melt or run out.’ He seemed so excited about his melt-less candle. ‘The fire will stay lit as long as you don’t blow it out. Do you understand?’
A simple concept so I nodded again with eagerness.
‘Good, sleep as long as you need. We’ll talk in the morning.’ He concluded before setting the candle on the bedside table and wandering over the floorboards towards the door. Unfortunately, he smacked his head on the cupboard. The poor codgers eye sight was not what it used to be.
Having thereafter made it to the door with his hands stretched out for support, he exited my chambers. I had hoped he would blow me a goodnight kiss. Dissatisfied but not disheartened, I blew out the candle and quickly lulled myself to sleep. He was a friendly man, I considered.

>>20143871
>In the doorway, I could hear door opening sounds

>>20140474
Read a lot of Reddit and Twitter.
>I mean, to be fair, this view is a big heckin yikes.

>>20147890
>>20147895
I like this, reminds me of robert louis stevenson

>>20148465
thanks anon!