/lit/ - Literature

>>19905425
>Simone Veil
>not a muslim

>>19905425
>pliny the elder
>died in his 50s

>Romanovs
>from somewhere thousands of miles from Rome

>>19905425
>George Orwell
>Books have nothing to do with popcorn

>>19905425
>fitzgerald
>couldn't even get the tip into Gerald's ass

>>19905425
>Aleksandr Pushkin
>Killed with pistol

>Hannah Arendt
>actually is

>>19905425
>Philip K. Dick
>actually a schizophrenic

>>19905425
>Ursula K. LeGuin
>not a squid but is in fact a real human bean

>>19905505
lmao

>>19905505
Kekd

>>19905505
i speak german and spent several minutes trying to figure out a multilingual pun here. stupid joke.

>>19905500
jej only slavbros will get this

>>19905479
Third Rome

>>19905425
>Chekhov
>Is not Czech at all

>>19905425
>kunstmuseum
>Does not contain L'Origine du Monde

>Lomonosov
>Is not breaking noses

>>19905425
>Thomas Mann
>fled the nazis like a pussy

>Frodo
>doesn't trick people

>>19905425
>JK Huysmans
>is actually very serious

>>19905425
>rene guenon
>isnt a monkey

>>19906081
Türkiye

>>19905425

— William Blake
— Didn't have seven followers

— Robert Browing
— Was neither a shotgun nor an iconic 9mm semi-automatic pistol

— Thomas Hardy
— Often caught cold

— Ezra Pound
— Wasn't worth more than 85p at most

— Robert Graves
— Didn't dig up dead people to steal their jewelry

>>19908086
kek

>Jan Assmann, actually prefers breasts

>>19906794
nah the last roman emperor was a serb and the turks themselves called serbs romans

>Fromm, Erich
>Is actually from Germany

>J.R.R. Tolkien
>Father's name wasn't S.R.R. Tolkien

>>19908170
Good one.

>Ayn Rand
>from Russia not South Africa.

>>19905425

— Jonathan Swift
— Didn't nest in the roof, eat insects or fly south for the winter.

— Bram Stoker
— Never worked on a steam train

— Alexander Pope
— Wasn't even a Catholic

— Jack London
— Lived in America

— Laurence Sterne
— Was quite easy-going

— Oscar Wilde
— Was, if anything, effete.

— Laura Ingalls Wilder
— Was a girl.

>Melville
>somehow ends up being named Herman

>Kant
>Or won't

>>19908376
>— Alexander Pope
>— Wasn't even a Catholic
ummm dude what? he was definitely a Catholic.

>Pepin The Short
>His name is Pepin The Short

>>19909192
So he was. How about
>— Alexander Pope
>— Wasn't even a Cardinal

>Walter Scott
>actually a Scot

>Anatole France
>actually a France

>>19909227
Yeah ok that works

>>19906123
How would you know that?

>>19905967
>german
>no sense of humor
Like pottery

>Ernest Hemingway
>Wasn't even that earnest.

>Fernando Pessoa
>Wasn't even a pest.

>GK Chesteron
>Actually has a ton of belly, not of chest.

>>19905425

— Ford Maddox Ford
— Wasn't even a single sensibly-priced American car, much less two.

— Henry James
— Wasn't even one English king, much less two.

— Hunter S. Thompson
— Didn't invent a popular sub-machinegun, and didn't hunt people with it. (Actually he might have done.)

>>19905973
help!

>Shakespeare
Never shook a spear
>William Tell
Didn't tell
>John Milton
Was not the type of man to mill tonnes of corn
>Byron
Never stood beside Ron
>Marx
Didn't mark the spot
>Frank Herbert
Wasn't known by a woman as Bert and certainly wasn't hers
>Albert Einstein
Weighed more than a stone.
>Sarah Silverman
Not a man
>HM Elizabeth Windsor
Winds or what?
>Mohammed
Didn't take his meds
>Martin Luther King
Not actually a king
>Whoopi Goldberg
Not currently sitting on a mountain of gold
>Rene Descarte
Isn't known for his letters
>George Washington
Wasn't the son of a maid
>Satan
Never tells me to "Say tan", doesn't saying thing really, thank God
>Plato
Not a fan of synthetic clay
>Ada Lovelace
Never married
>Winston Churchill
One of the most unholy men that lived
>JK Rowling
I've never seen her roll
>Julius Caesar
Didn't cease her

>>19905425
>Emily Dickinson
>Never had no dick in son.

>EE Cummings
>
>Well you got me there how did his parents decide tho?

>Samuel Pepys
>not made of marshmallow

>Thomas Bernhard
>Isn't even that flammable
>>19909192
>>19909227
How about:
>Alexander Pope
>Failed Sunday School
>>19909170
kek

>>19911317
im my language a pistol is called a puška im assuming it means pistol in russian

>>19908086
>Robert Browning
>was white

>>19909170
>Kant
>implies oughtn't

>James Baldwin
>had hair

>Ernst Junger
>wasn't earnestly Hungry

>>19912867
Only a Chicano would get this.

>Hemmingway
>He do not ming the way

>marguerite yourcenar
>is not my dinner

>>19906759
lmao, got me

>e.e. cummings
>didn't make me cum while screaming "ee"

>>19905474
That was like 90 back then.

>>19911317
Пyшкa (pushka) means cannon in Russian

>Theodor Adorno
>Didn't wear anything extraordinary