/lit/ - Literature

These greek photographs have officially influenced my work. I designed a town built into a mountain with narrow streets and houses built wherever there's room, just like Santorini

>>19841044
Glad to see you enjoyed them.

Spawned from Nature, much more so than history or even philosophy. as much postulated by even respectable minds. The nature of the American is one much more simple yet still elusive in its instinctive directness: they were merely born from the rebellious yell of a human desertion of the chains of an overly-civilized world for nature's arid embrace. Their philosophy much more a natural extension of their libidinal, downright pathological desires shot up their medulas like molten lead in their innermost animalistic genuine instincts, the desire for freedom and self-ownership, independence, the ultimate lack of control, where only each man can control his own destiny, in the self-discipline of mastering the world through the simplest of crafts, of hunting and building and rubbing sticks to make a fire. The enterprising spirit, the embrace of the immutable realities of life such as risk and danger and the looming presence of death all-around. It was the presence of the remnants of antiquated inhuman civilizations whose well-meaning structures of control attempt to provide safety for a people who seek emergency and instability, that caused most of its issues, from the mutual massacres with the natives and the puritan witch hunts, and in the contemporary age the military industrial complexes and the inflated powerful Estate that controls one's civil and economic liberties, all nothing but the growing tumors left behind after the bulk of the carcinogenic mass was removed by the pilgrimage stupor of the American desertion of Europe, in the discovery of Americas, in the throes of European-to-America migrations, in the war of liberation. And inside each American heart, lies dormant the fervent American genius, waiting for its day of liberation, to set right all that human civilization did wrong, to men, in the molestation of their most rightful desires.

Say I sell 1,000 copies of my first book. What percent carry over to my next book if I get good reviews (say 4.5/5 stars.
200? 300? 400?

I love to write in terrible prose that emphasizes tell techniques rather than show techniques. I also enjoy writing about nouns doing things, over use -ly adjectives, and have conversations between characters using only onomatopoeias. The improper use of semi-colons and overuse of commas can also be found in my writing, as I believe both punctuation marks make my writing stronger without any evidence whatsoever. The automatic thesaurus is a regularly used tool as well. I improperly use words simply because the computer's thesaurus recommends that word for me, and without any knowledge or context, I replace my word with the one suggested because clearly the use of unconventional words makes my writing stronger. Overly descriptive settings with constant overexplanations to ensure my readers have no imagination is part of my style as well. There is nothing that brings me more satisfaction and euphoria than knowing my readers quickly lose interest from the paragraphs that I write. My arrogance, inability to take criticism, and narcissism propels my writing to new heights that nobody else can reach. That is why you hate my writing, you simply are unable to comprehend my genius.

>>19841231
>counting chickens before they hatch
can't you meerkatting faggots just write a good book? get a fucking job and you wouldn't reduce literature to cheap grey hat attempts at scamming people.

>>19841202
We get it already Thomas Hobbes, the Natural State of Man is mean and shit. We get it. You don't have to resell your theories every 2 years. We all can still read Leviathan.

>>19841237
Post a sample.

>>19841240
>grey hat
You're not using that term correctly you fagmosexual.

>>19841240
>meerkatters
Man you’re chasing shadows.

Any tips for video game writing? Or would it be better to ask /tg/

>>19841273
Just use Dragon Quest like everyone else

>>19841249
>half of your "strategy" is follow for follow schemes on twitter and spamming social media
>half is paying for ads
yes, it is grey hat. you're not being completely honest. you just want to grab "sales". get a fucking job and you can make $1000 a week of honest money and not shovel shit into the mouths of unsuspecting retards who buy your steaming log you shat out in 2 weeks just to market

>>19841290
You literally don't know what grey hat means. Please google it and then hang yourself.

>>19841290
>>19841302
Why is he so mad at you. Did you fuck his mother or something?
I see this guy rage every thread at seeming innocuous advice.

>show, don't tell
but also
>Don't use twenty words to say what you could in ten
these feel like direct contradictions sometimes. Not all the time, but definitely sometimes

>>19841333
>>Don't use twenty words to say what you could in ten
Completely shit advice from midwits to morons. Be as verbose as you'd like, Herman Melville, Nabokov, sometimes Victor Hugo all beat off on the page for as long as they wanted, because they had the domain of language and poetic prose to pull it off. You only give shit advice like that to absolute chimpanzees who have at best a mediocre writing ability and who are trying to write straight-forward genre fiction, so they don't embarrass themselves trying to embellish their text. If you know what you're doing there is no reason you shouldn't embellish and ornate your text as much as the sculptor would add the most self-indulgent level of detailing and ornaments to his work, just for the sake of art.

>>19841240
>>19841249
>>19841302
>>19841352
Meds now

Lost
I entered the witch’s barrow,
With courage in my hand,
I forded every narrow,
I searched far and deep.

The cost was very steep,
I evaded every trap,
Although I took my keep,
In my mind she did roam.

She read from her ancient tome,
She said that you are lost,
She said you cannot go home,
So I struck her with my sword.

I stole from her great hoard,
I ran with what I could,
In her barrow I was stored,
In her lair I was caught.

Without a second thought,
I had sowed my own doom,
The exits that I sought,
Were blocked with rock and marrow.

>>19841333
If you read enough books you'll see it done well many many times.

I was going to sign up to twatter and meerkat today.
Instead i got to 60k words on the second bookerino.

>>19837812
>You’re right, I show up to my job, and don’t show my boss the 8 hours of value I put in.
If you actually put 8 hours of value in, those 8 hours are readily apparent. So no, I don't scurry around and peacock and spread my asshole for others' approval, and I'm just not going to compromise my values for commercial success. You can "show your boss" your pretty pink asshole all you want. I'm just not gonna do it! I'm not a whore to spread my asshole for personal gain. I'm not gonna stop calling you a whore for acting whorish, either.

>>19841333
You should know when to utilize it if you're a master of your craft

>any writing advice ever
>"don't do this... except if you're X authors! no one else in the world can pull it off, don't even try it at home."
>minutes later, bitch and moan about the quality of prose in the most modern of books
it's not the only factor, but i feel like appending "except if you're X" to nearly every single piece of advice only discourages experimentation and risk-taking in writing. "no rules, just tools" and all, but it's never immediately obvious -- only after you're neck deep in the craft waters that you realize you've been taught wrong.

>>19841753
The reason modern books are shit because the writers try to be author X but aren't.

>>19841790
yeah that's why i try to be myself

>>19841034
Is this Melos?

>>19841044
I found Santorini to be pretty unpleasant to visit, sadly. It is a bad a Venice; a place where people used to live turned in to a kind of Disneyland with attractions rather than houses and employees instead of citizens.

Go to one of the islands without an international airport instead.

>>19841796
Do you run like Melos, anon?

>>19841237
“Show, don’t tell” is terrible advice that is only ever used as a catch all by someone who needs to give criticism. Your second point about those here who can only write about “Nouns doing things” is probably a result of internalizing that shit at a young age.

>>19841937
It's good advice, but hardly anyone understands what it actually means.

>>19841937
>terrible advice that is only ever used as a catch all by someone who needs to give criticism
Detected the person who unironically doesn't understand what it means.

>>19841944
>>19841948
Yeah yeah, we all know you guys got yourselves educated on YouTube the day you decided you were going to be a writer. You watched some shit writer you've never read spend 9 minutes explaining to you that "Show, don't tell" actually means "Describe, don't explain". You then went on to write shit like this >>19833634 while patting yourself on the back.

>>19841934
Yeah, Melos is great.

>>19841961
>"Show, don't tell" actually means "Describe, don't explain"
You're so fucking aggressively retarded that I can't muster the willpower to actually correct you.

What does "show, don't tell" mean?

>>19841977
Oh did your favorite YouTuber tell it a different way hun?

Anyone could easily google what basic phrases mean in a matter of seconds, but it's far more pleasing for the ego to make up your own assumptions and battle the world defending them

>>19841982
it means that you should show instead of telling

All right /lit/. I've spent a few years reading muh isekai'd fantasy magic novels, and I'm ready to put myself out there and write my own terrible novel.

I wrote my first chapter, and I want your feedback. Here's the link:

https://www.wattpad.com/1185880728-hold-the-line-defending-my-dungeon-in-a-fantasy/page/2

The general outline of the story as I want it is that he gets uprooted from the tiny village he starts in and gets thrust to fight frontline in the military due to a shortage of military personnel following a massive defeat in the fight against the demon lord. He ends up being in a scouting unit, his unit gets ambushed, but he manages to get away, and he ends up chased to a cave that turns out to have a hidden magical resource point and qtpie nature spirit waifu and he turns it into a dungeon. Conflict is created by both the demon lord and humanity forces wanting to invade his dungeon for the resources, and he has to hold the line while playing both sides off of each other while he grows in strength.

In the first chapter, I tried to focus on the introduction of basic details about the world and region, the protagonist's circumstances, and his plans (which will be interrupted shortly). There's a lot of work to be done to expand on the world-building, but please let me know how it looks as a pilot chapter.

>>19841982
It's understood (by idiots) to mean that you should describe things more. In reality, and in its most mature form, it's about manipulating as necessary the space allowed for a reader's interpretation. Say it's really important to you that a reader thinks a certain thing is bad. "Showing" in its extreme form here would be just saying that it's bad. It could be a multifarious, ornately adorned version of bad, but it will still boil down to the author saying THIS IS BAD. You are, in essence, TELLING the reader how to feel, how to react, what to think, etc. Keep in mind that this would be for a pivotal part in the story rather than a universal "rule" to writing. The "showing" would be to write the scene such that the only possible interpretation is that Bad Thing is bad... while leaving it open to interpretation.

Everything is more powerful and effective when you discover it for yourself. The goal of a "show section" is to guide a reader towards a particular experience without getting caught doing it. Give your apocryphal reader all the tools to form the impression you want it to form, but find it within yourself to trust it to make the impression itself.

Abstraction is the heart of art. Any retard can pick up a pencil and write an on-the-nose, fictionalized version of their own personal beliefs. It's much more difficult and ultimately a more rewarding experience (if you're writing for not-idiots) to allow for some ambiguity — to SHOW your reader a scene, and let them tell themselves what to think about it.

>>19841984
Fuck off, retard. Stop fucking shitposting.

>>19842018
Thank you for the response. I've been looking through some of the stuff in the OP, I haven't written anything that wasn't an academic paper or essay in a few years but I have a story stuck in my head that I want to try to get out. This is very helpful.

>>19842018
>"Showing" in its extreme form here would be just saying that it's bad.
Should have proofread. Showing -> telling. Replace in your head.

>>19842008
It reads like a plot summary you'd casually tell your friend, not a story.

>His 16th birthday was a week away. It was the most important day of your life in this world. Once you turned 16, your inner potential would be unlocked, and you would be able to sense the mana in the world around you.

I hope you can see the issues with a section like this.

Also, its weird you mention "90%" twice in just a few paragraphs.

>>19842098

I can live with your first point, it just boils down to my writing style and the type of exposition I like.

However, the second point is useful. In your opinion, do you think that instead of

>It was about a 90% full waxing crescent

it would be better written as:

>It was a mostly full waxing crescent

Or perhaps, something else? Please let me know.

>>19842110
If you want to claim it as a style, sure, but it reads like a 10th grader's first story and very amateur. I hope the target audience is young children.

Yes, that would be better. But I struggle to see why the moon being a waxing crescent is important to the story unless there's some lore reason for it to matter. You could leave it as "the moon was bright overhead" and you get the same effect.

I looked up some "writing communities" and shit, people are so retarded. How do I write women??? How do I write men???? How do I write LGBT fags non binary trans toasters??? How do I do this and that? Do you think this is good? proceeds to post ya. How do I write fights?? OH FUCK I FOUND AN ADJECTIVE FUHUUCK NOOOO I AM BURNING MY EYESSSS NOOOOO!!!

But it's good. At least I know my writing and mentality is better than 99% of other "writers". I'm going to make it bros.

>>19841982
It's a mostly empty critique that comes down to asking a writer to not just say what something is.
"Marie was still clearly upset when she answered the door" should be either replaced or propped up with some description of how her face was red or how she still had a handful of tissues. Awkwardly describing the environment around her would be another go to "Show, don't tell" staple for hack writing.
While the advice itself isn't the worst, the implementation of the advice is. Over the years it has warped from a simple guide to keep in mind to a golden rule that cannot be broken. Reminds me of back when I was in Uni and we were all told that we would have marks taken off for using the word "said" because "Said is dead!". It is totally acceptable to use the word "said" in the same way it is totally acceptable to tell in writing. Both of these golden rules only developed because telling and using the word "said" is a basic bitch crutch for those brand new to writing. It's fine advice for a newbie who needs to break a bad habit but as you develop you'll notice more and more places where telling is not only acceptable, but is actually preferable.
All of this would be well and good if we were only swatting down the occasional proud high school graduate that totally knows his stuff, unfortunately the YouTube writing advice grifters have fucked us yet again. Showing has become a HOT TIP TO IMROVE YOUR WRITING IN JUST 10 MINUTES and is something that every writetuber has tried to milk a 3 figure payday from. Retard teaching retards has led to people who don't even know what the term means. Some people, >>19842018 for example, seem to think "Show, don't tell" is some Kaufmanesque magic spell used by those who want to leave their writing open for interpretation.

When you were in grade school you were probably taught "I before E except after C", but as you got older you probably started to notice that this isn't as universal as you were taught. Now imagine a SEAnigger ESL calling you a retard for using the word "Glacier".
This is the "Show, don't tell" debate.

>>19842008
>pretty
>really
>a little bit
>to be honest
These words and fragments have no place in a third person POV. They give the narration the feel of anon's diary desu. This kind of colloquial language has a place in dialogue, and even in a first person narrative, where the narrator's voice has more leeway to come through. But because the disembodied, third person narrator-voice is using this overly informal language, it reads as if the author himself uses language poorly... because he does. It strikes me as a nervousness or insecurity at sounding "too formal," as if you're posting a hobbyist story on your blog. You're obviously a very new writer, which is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't, however, see an overabundance of natural talent by which a small few new writers can get by alright in their baby steps phase. For you, unless you want to get ground into the dust by brutally honest messages like this one to the point where you quit writing, it might be a good idea to just write without sharing. Read a lot, too. Read more outside of your favored genres. You will need to put the work in if you want to eventually write something people will read.

>>19842182
>Kaufmanesque magic spell used by those who want to leave their writing open for interpretation.
What a chickenshit response.

>>19842183

To be honest, I already know this is my biggest flaw with my writing style - it's too colloquial. I don't know why or how but over the past few years, it became really difficult for me to write in a polite/professional/technically-minded/impartial manner, and instead I became extremely colloquial.

Can you give me any examples of how you would re-word the sentences you take particular issue with to feel less colloquial but still fit in with the overall feel and flow?

>>19842182
>Some people, >>19842018 (You) # for example, seem to think "Show, don't tell" is some Kaufmanesque magic spell used by those who want to leave their writing open for interpretation.
Show me one other person who has this exact, specific idea as to what the maxim means. I'll be laughing at you as you try, because it's my own interpretation of it, born from the exact same dissatisfaction with how it's commonly implemented. The difference is that I found that there was actually some truth at the center of it, once you strip away all the consensus bullshit. I'm sure you'll just make another tangential reference to this post (if you reply at all, in any capacity) but I'm gonna make it anyway, just to let you know that I think you're a puffed-up retard who's completely trapped within the framework you hate. Everything you say is in a strictly reactionary capacity and is devoid of any evidence of independent thought.

>>19842223
>Can you give me any examples of how you would re-word the sentences you take particular issue with to feel less colloquial but still fit in with the overall feel and flow?
No. Try deleting those words, then reading it over again. If the sentences from which they were removed don't seem to stand on their own, make them. Stretch yourself and problem solve instead of asking a stranger to be your copyeditor.

>>19842228

Sorry anon, I'll let you get back to arguing over writing advice cliches like "show dont tell" for all eternity.

>>19842225
>if I make up my own term then I'm right! You're just bitter!
Jesus anon. I know you typed this out in a seethe fit but you could have at least read it back to yourself.

>>19842241
I stand by every word I wrote. Could I have been a little nicer to you? Absolutely. I didn't, though. I stand by that decision too.
>>19842240
Passive aggression!

>>19842254
>>19842183

Okay so, do you just disapprove of adverbs in general, or my particular usage of them?

>>19842329
It's Official Truth that adverbs should never be used.

Sorry if this is the wrong thread - I'm from another board. I just have a grammar question: is writing "Thought of you today." correct, as opposed to "I thought of you today." In which cases is it allowed to omit the pronoun like that? It's a really annoying thing to Google - can't find any results for my question.

>>19842329
I love adverbs, partly because of my oppositional nature, and partly because they're tools in the toolbox. If you're trying to coax from me some kind of axiomatic rule of writing wrt adverbs, you're not going to get one, unfortunately. Use your best judgment. If your judgment is leading you to write narrative passages peppered by ugly words like "really," "pretty," etc., then cultivate your taste. I am actively avoiding giving you some little nodule of advice to latch onto here, because even if I gave you something that works for me, I can’t give you all the nuance swirling around subliminally within my brain that'll sufficiently contextualize it such that it will become useful. This probably sounds like a cop-out, and you're welcome to that impression if you want. If so, hopefully your reaction will be something like, "What the fuck does this guy know? I'm just gonna go figure this shit out myself instead of just asking for another person's opinion."

Writing can't be taught. It can only be learned. Read more; write more. This is the only advice anyone can or should give you on these questions you're asking.

>>19842390
>>19842372

On looking back, I found I used "pretty" 4 times. I agree this was overdoing it, and in fact every instance where I used it the sentence stood better without the adverb.

I'm happy that you all don't seem to take any issues with my world-building, setting, descriptiveness, plot outline, sentence structure, spacing, pacing, or really anything except for writing style and word choice, so honestly, that's a huge relief to me. I can work on things like what words I use, but the other things would be giant issues.

Thanks for your help anons.

>>19842427
>the sentence stood better
Focus on this, in all aspects. Make sacrifices for it, and make sure that, at the cost of literally all else, the sentences stand well. A story is read. What it contains and relates is imparted through reading. The quality of your writing is your proficiency with the medium itself. All else has been demonstrated, over and over and over again, to be strictly secondary. At the most basic level, if your story is a joy to interact with in the fundamental act of reading, you can be successful.

The reason I didn't focus on any of that other stuff is because it frankly doesn't matter at all — at least, not until you've ironed out the writing itself.

Just to weigh in on this giant "show don't tell" sperg showdown: I agree it's a perhaps overly reductionist and a crude club to beat new writers over the head to stop writing 80% naval gazing stories. Once someone grasps the concept I would elaborate to say "Show in a larger proportion relative to Tell, but use your ability to Tell intentionally to control pacing/keep the story moving"

So I guess ultimately you guys persuaded me and I'll start being a try-hard who tells people to "Tell intentionally".

>>19841318
Because marketing has a bad name in this thread solely because one retard thought it meant Twitter follow scams and his brainlessness poisoned the well for anons who didn't actually go out and research marketing themselves.

>>19842376
The only difference is the first sounds more like an offhand comment whereas the second sounds more like a genuine expression. They're both fine. Omitting pronouns is almost always a dialogue function unless there's a specific feeling you're going for in prose, like hurried thoughts or anxiety.

>>19842566
>yes, trust the marketers to market their own services
Marketing in general is a social evil. Making use of it makes you evil or just a callow patsy.

>>19842636
>having their needs not be taken care of, this resilience of theirs...
>fiery basin
In what way, exactly, is a farm a basin?

>>19842649
I just thought it sounded cool, that's all.

>>19842656
Well, in the spirit of honest and open communication, I disagree. I think it's dumb

>>19841961
Show don't tell is simple, just don't over use either. The guy you cited overused tell making it boring. It's not bad but better suited for writing that needs to be told like non-fiction. Overusing show is bad too it leads up to confused readers and overly long paragraphs trying to set a mood.

There are times you need to put "Mary picked up her pen."

I just remembered I used to write about classical music in sci fi stories when I was 17... Cringe.

>>19842704
What's cringe here? Sounds interesting.

>>19842736
I'd have to rewrite it to be interesting because it's literally so unreadable I won't even post it for the cringe of it.

I heard someone say that if you want to write a short story, you should think of a main character first. I heard someone else say that you should think of a plot first. Both were successful writers. I'm telling you, it does not matter if you start with the main character or the plot; what matters is to start with an idea that captures your interest, be it a character, a plot, a setting, an object, a conversation, or whatever else comes to your mind. This is the wisdom I transfer to you. Keep it and call it fool's gold.

Hit the magic number of rejections.

>>19842798
Novel?

>>19842760
You were a child. Why judge yourself so harshly?

>>19842830
Picking up the pen has consequences if it is not respected properly. I was writing in garbled English on purpose and sprinkling in random words from German and French.

>start writing thinking of theme first
>cannot for the life of me come up with a plot to express my ideas
>start with character or plot
>whatever I write isn't meaningful enough to motivate me to keep writing
What do

>>19842845
Oh no, das it non bien!

>>19842851
Eschew higher writing ideals. Return to basic emotions you want to convey and build on the story from there.

>>19842851
Are you writing a story or a thesis you want to open a discussion on?

If only I were as passionate about literature as Flaubert. The guy lived, breathed, ate, sweated, and shat it.

>>19841463
Interesting idea for a rhyme scheme: ABAC CDCE
But it hits very flat. If you’re thinking about the classic Robert Frost AABA BBCB, note that the ‘resolution’ of each stanza is on the initial rhyme. A1 starts the poem, A2 sets the expectation, B1 breaks that expectation (maybe B2 is coming…) but A3 brings it back home! Reminds me of how classical music dances around a particular theme/chord for a while before hitting it (I guess 4ch would call this ‘edging’)

Anyhow, in your case you set me up with A1 (barrow), then continue with B1 (hand)… so im thinking either ABAB or no rhyme…then A2 (narrow)…ABAB confirmed…then C1. Wtf. It’s a disappointment (maybe it’s intentional…but still not pleasant).

If you want to have a rhyme continue to the next stanza (while keeping the last beat satisfying) i’d recommend ABCB then DAEA [or ACDC or ADCD or DABA]

I reordered here and made s few [tweaks] to fix meter:

>I searched far and deep, [A]
>I forded every narrow. [B]
>With courage in my hand, [C]
>I [sought] the witch’s barrow. [B]

>In my mind she roamed, [D]
>The cost was very steep. [A]
>[evading] every trap, [E]
>[Yet still] I took my keep. [A]

Poetry is fun because it’s a puzzle, have fun getting nerdy with it…and try to make the schema match the feel you’re going for.

Or just ignore me…that’s also an option.

>>19842225
>Lol at (You) slipping into the greentext
Amateur hour on /lit/

>>19842704
Lemme guess, you got really into the Diva song in Fifth Element?

>>19842960
My favorite stories are those that might not be immediately gratifying, but linger and keep you thinking about them for days. I think that's why I gravitate towards starting with "theme"
As >>19842950 suggests, I guess I just need to let go of this ideal for a while until I get a decent grasp on the basics and start to find my voice

>>19843031
Honestly, I think that One Punch Man is a good example of such a story.
You watch it and enjoy the visuals, then think about characters, then think about what could be the inspiration for situations.
For example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzhf0m-HZ0c

>>19843041
There's also an idea that OPM's idea came from watching weekend news or whatever. One day they report about a huge crisis, be it a disaster or scandal, but the next time you watch, it's already solved or forgotten. As if those were giant monsters that got one shotted by someone unknown.

>>19843041
This guy understands

>>19841753
i feel this way about semicolons. fuck you, they're useful and build beautiful sentences. but every agent says 'nooooo you cant use more than 2 semicolons in an entire book nooooooooo'. like fuck you man. english has few enough punctuation marks and you want me to cvck myself out of the most useful one?
>>19842169
this. even forums for 'professionals' who are tradpub path are still full of 80% novices asking retarded questions they should have googled and people giving them asspats. /lit/ is the best literary board on the internet for both writing and reading.

>>19842376
the first is objectively wrong. you can use it in dialogue, where you're allowed to have improper grammar to show your character is an illiterate retard. do so wisely.
>>19842560
'show, dont tell' saved my draft. you guys are too arrogant

>>19843190
>'show, dont tell' saved my draft. you guys are too arrogant
I hope you improve enough as a writer to eventually look back on this comment in complete embarrassment. Imagine making a middle school mistake so often that you needed someone to force you to remove each and every example of telling in your work, now imagine using this tale as a teaching tool from a place of authority or experience.

>>19843219
I don't think you've really interacted with the concept enough.

>>19843031
I think if you start with what emotion you want to feel when writing, and what emotion you want the reader to feel as well, then the plot and themes and all the rest will come naturally. Then you just have to massage it until it's perfect. I had a hell of a time with the first half of my book in this way. After I got the main guts down, I rewrote the entire plot to better convey the theme that came out of it and I'm still not fully satisfied.
>>19843177
Semicolons and em dashes pepper my writing. They're phenomenal.

>>19843219
>seething this hard because someone said they gained value from a piece of advice
prep h will take care of your issue.

>>19843219
There are many things I look back on with embarrassment, but the most (by far) are times when I was being the arrogant one.

Never regret taking/trying advice, maybe it works for you, maybe it doesn’t…but either way you learn.

Be humble, put in the time, learn the craft of writing before you try to make an art of it.

I suck dick
Oh so quick
Just like papa taught
I’m not proud
When the gluck gluck’s so loud
Lets get it over with

>>19843190
>'show, dont tell' saved my draft. you guys are too arrogant
I posted a smug wojak to be cheeky but I don't think I'm being arrogant. My point is that "show don't tell" at its core is solid advice, but the words "don't tell" sounds like you're speaking in absolutes. In practice it is often appropriate to "tell" so I'm trying to find a better way of phrasing it.

That's why I'm brainstorming new operating for feedback, like saying yo "Tell" intentionally, or maybe "you're 'telling' too much here" rather than the old meme phrase.

>>19843306
just because you do something intentionally won't make it good.
there are times and places to 'tell', namely about shit that is cumbersome and unimportant to take time to show. otherwise stop playing with kitschy gimmicks and just write a good book
if people cant even take advice about line editing they will be deaf and asspained on constructive edits and ragequit. stop taking the deviantart mindset.
>>19843249
this

>>19843334
Anon, if you genuinely believe that "show, don't tell" is a constructive tip for line editing then you are a retard.
The entire point in this showing/telling clusterfuck is that not being aware of the fact you are telling too much is a middle school mistake, believing that telling is outright wrong or a "kitschy gimmick" is a is a high school mistake.
We're past that point, you're not. I'd rather not hear a lecture on arrogance from someone who hasn't found the YouTube video showing him the proper use of capitalization or punctuation.

>>19843466
sorry kiddo i dont do capitals off the clock

In need of cock
At work on the clock
When will my shift be over?
Hope mum don’t find the cum sock

Why does stream of consciousness always make it seem as if the narrator is wasted out of their fucking mind?

>>19843522
>Hope mum don’t find the cum sock
She knows, anon…she’s always known.

I’m the best
Suckling on breasts
Basking in the spoils it leaks
I am become god
King of the freaks

>>19841333
"Show don't tell" is screenwriter advice. I don't know why book people keep thinking it applies to them. You can't show in a novel. it's a textual medium. All telling no matter what you do.

>>19841982
It means that, when writing a movie, you should rely on visuals to provide narrative information to the viewer and not infodump through dialogue or monologue or text scrolls (unless you're doing it for styalistic reasons, like the first star wars)

>>19843694
Some forms of description are more vividly pictural than others.

>>19843577
It always feels like the author is on amphetamines. I associate drunkenness with slurred, incoherent vocabulary

>>19841796
that *is* a shame. If I ever visit Greece I'll keep your words in mind.
I sort of mashed the architectural style of an English Tudor village - timber-framed, wattle-and-daub homes - with the layout of Santorini, a town built on a mountain on an island.

>>19843725
You're still telling instead of showing

>>19844527
Yes and no. All descriptions are, of course, a form of telling, as was pointed out by another anon, but, since some descriptions are more pictural than others, which you will surely admit, and create in the mind of the reader an uncommonly vivid image, it can therefore be said that these descriptions are more than mere telling: they are show-telling, or, in short: showing. Right?

>>19844689
>All descriptions are, of course, a form of telling
thank you for admitting that you are wrong. I didn't read any further

>>19843694
buhh duuh mmmmnnngggg huuunnnnffff wuhuhuh
fucking retard

>>19843694
Show dont tell is a pacing like anon said. In lit, telling is like "he drove to the store." We tell because we want to quicken the pace of how the story is told. That is of course if you need to tell it at all as in medias res is a good device. Some very short telling sentences can still hit really hard.
Showing that scene would explore all the sensations, actions and thoughts involved. This slows things down so good for sequel format where you need time to reflect over a dilemma.

>>19844926
So you disagree with the phrase

>>19844730
glad to see that I was right

Two women
That’s too much
They just never
Fucking shut up

A lime and a pie
A crime you may die

A hat and a pocket
Let me fuck it

>>19845107
I see that civility is out of the question this thread.

>wfh
>finished 2 and a half hours early, nothing else to do today
>gonna write
>gonna get paid to write
fuck yeah!

>>19842566
>>19842628
>yeah guys, advertising books and having a launch strategy is evil!
>that’s why I’m going to hire a company to do it for me!
You act as though it’s okay to hire people to shoot others but not to shoot them yourself.
I’m just telling you you don’t need a middle man, but I guess it’s all flying over your head.

>>19845604
If people demystified the whole thing by doing actual research instead of believing Twitter shilling is the only outlet they have, meerkating wouldn't be a pejorative here; it shouldn't be in the first place, anyways.

>>19845639
Marketing a book can be done by
-email list
-previous book carry over
-social media following
-paid advertisement
Tell me why this fact pains you so much you have to reply in such a butt blasted way everytime?

>>19845728
not him. because you come here spamming about shady twitter schemes as if your bot followers who dont give a fuck about you will mean sales and you can become a billionaire pushing crap-tastic poorly edited schlock out to the unsuspecting masses. your APPROACH and attitude are shady. marketing has a time and place, but you are the seedy pawn shop of marketing. we dont need that shit here.

>>19841034
Any tips on writing by hand faster? I want to write around 20 pages per day.

>>19845743
>not him
Lol, I wasn’t born yesterday
>insult ability to write
Guess we’ll see.
So why are you butt blasted by the fact that there’s basically 4 ways of marketing a book, short of going to try and sell it in person.

>>19845830
I too found writing by hand to be slow. Over time, i tried to fond ways to write faster; I avoided straight lines (opting for more natural curves), I lifted my pen less between letters, I allowed my writing to take on a slant to better fit the reach of my hand.

I think I’ve hit on a truly remarkable discovery, anon! If anyone thought of this before me, at least, I’m sure they’d be teaching it in every school…yet I’ve seen nothing of the sort. What should I call it?

>>19845871
Are you a fucking retard, dude? I'm advocating FOR marketing in all of my posts.

>>19845871
look you retarded attention whoring faggot, go waste your own time and money, i dont give a fuck. stop spamming us with your twitter schemes. this is /write general/ not /marketing general/. Fuck off to /biz/

>>19845937
I’m the tiktok anon. You guys keep confusing me with this twitter guy I haven’t even seen before.
I honestly think one of you has made up some alternate personality to hate.

>>19841034
/jp/ here, this is form my Touhou dojinshi. It's form Reimu chan's pow.
please bully me!

"Alright, I'll bring them all to you'r-" Aunn stops mid sentence and glares somewhere behind me. I turn around and see a dumb polka dot hat in the bushes. I already know who's wearing it so I throw a yin-yan orb at her.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Clownpiece yalls "WHATS THE BIG IDEA THROWING SHIT AT ME?!" She's wearing her usual garish red, white and blue dress and maching leggings.
"What are you doing Clownpiece?" I say as I approach her. She is a literal fiery form Hell so I know she is always up to no good. I first met her on the moon and she was a headache to deal with and the worst part was she flowed me home and now lives under my shrine.
"NOT A GOOD DAME THING!" she says louder then necessary. I know she's lying. She loves ruining whatever gatherings and festivals I host.
"Rally?" I ask her as I take out my Exorcism Rod "you're not going to wait for people to gather and run in meddle of a crowd, flash your torch and watch everyone fight?" That's what she did at my last flower viewing. Marisa and I spent most of the day braking up drunken fights wile she sat on my roof eating snacks.
"I- I'm an American!" Clownpiece says "That means I have rights wich means I have freedom and can do what ever the FUCK I want!" Clownpice folds her arms in front of her chest and gives me a defiant look as if belonging to some made up "Hell on Earth" means something. I think she's confused with a clan form Europe that left their flag on the moon. I've been to moon twice and haven't seen it so she may have made that up too.
I grab her by the caller of her dress and glare down at her eye to eye and tell her "whatever you where planing, don't."
"This Is Shrine Maiden Brutality!" Clownpiece says as she struggles to get me to let go of her "1776 will happen again if you-" she stops mid sentence and looks up at something. I look up and find nothing but before I can look away, I see her torch.

It's such a beautiful day, what I'm I doing wasting it arguing with a fiery? Actually, who was I talking to? Must have been my imagination. I sit back down next to my beloved Donation Box and look up at the clouds. I'm so jealous of clouds, thay can flout across the sky all day and no one asks them to do anything. I wish I was A cloud. Maybe if I meditate hard enough I'll become a cloud goddess and people will come to worship me. Then someone else can be MY shrine maiden. That's a great idea. First I need to make sure no one disturbs me.

Eye opening.
Proof is in their sales.

>>19846058
you know, i give up, i'm quitting /lit/ until my draft is finished. bye

>>19846058
jeez what happened to her

I wish to write an urban fantasy story.
How much of a relation should my magic system, if I want one, have with the magic of mythology? Am I overthinking it? There's definitely various incompatibilities with myths but I don't know how to address it.

>>19846172
Solid choice.
Hope to see you return when you’ve written something…this place needs a hero.

Any ideas for how to truly capture the pic of pre societal collapse, even reading about the roman empire doesn't teach me enough. Not baiting, just writing sci fi.

>>19846778
You’re living in it. Look around you.
You think this country will last?

>>19846817
I'm not American but point taken, I could research, I'm just missing the subtle things.

>>19846442
We have a pastebin of heroes though bro
>>19846821
Race relations, political divide, dogmatic extremism are a few I'd think of off the bat.

i'm going to advertise my book by starting a youtube channel reading the first chapter of books by independent self published authors. Then secretly slide my book in shilling it when I get at least a few thousand subscribers.

>>19846821
When issues of individualism and identity become more pervasive above those of collectivism and society; when the atomization of societal bonds can be observed, not just methodically under a microscope, but by the layman; it is apparent society has doomed itself.

>>19846778
1. Roman Empire
2. French Revolution
3. Reformation and Inquisition
4. Fall of Constinople
5. Fall of the Ming Dynasty
6. Fall of the Qing Dynasty
7. Russian Revolution

Those 7 should be pretty good to find themes and commonality.

>>19846848
don't forget jews and their offshoot christianity. and now islam in europe. abrahamism is pretty much the deathknell

How do I write about the effects of hard drugs like heroin if I never took heroin? how do I ask a junkie?

What's the difference between a light novel and a novella?

>>19846995
Light novels tend to use simpler language, a novella is just a short novel. A lot of novellas also take place over a very short period of time (sometimes having no time gaps at all) but that's not a hard rule.

Anyone care to give a quick critique of a potential prologue? I'd appreciate some honest feedback before I decide to flesh anything out.

>>19847013
>prologue
Don't do it. Just write chapter 1.

>>19847013
That's really good. I'll probably have the 3rd paragraph be the second one though.

>>19847032
Really good observation, thank you.

>>19846986
you buy btc & take some... it's easier than talking to a junkie

I know this thread is mostly fiction but I just started a book blog and published my very first post: 26reads.com/blog/the-gambler
>Having lost everything at roulette , Dostoevsky made one final wager: he bet a predatory publisher that he could deliver a novel within a strict deadline or he would forfeit the publishing rights and income to all past and future works. This is the story of how Dostoevsky wrote The Gambler in just 26 days.
thank you for reading!

>>19847004
Do light novels sell well?

>>19847053
Kek. Reminds me of a journalist who got addicted to meth so he would write about it. He ended up praising meth and saying it wasnt as bad as people say... I heard him on a radio show and after 5 minutes the radio hosts kicked him off the air.

>>19841034
Where do non-fiction writers fit in? Also, post what you're listening to as you write.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-Xm7s9eGxU

>>19847714
We have a few non-fiction guys around here. It's pretty rare to see them, though. This is my current muse song; it's been very effective for planning an impossible romance I experienced in college. Turns out when you write what you know it can get pretty emotionally charged.
https://youtu.be/677ke_iQhOk
Captcha 4j0kr

How often do anons use semi-colons in fiction writing? I love using them, but is it wise? Will readers be turned off by the usage of semi-colons because they're unorthodox? What about using them in dialogue?

Maybe I'm overthinking it

>>19847760
Readers wont even notice them most of the time. Just like they do with other punctuation, except for full stops.

>>19847760
>punctuation
>unorthodox
? what are you on about

>>19847803
Most people don't use semicolons, I was just worried that the average person doesn't know what they mean

>>19847760
>unorthodox
This is like the exact opposite of most people's objection to their use. They're seen as OVERLY orthodox.

I made my first submission ever to a literary journal a month ago. On submittable, they changed the status from "submitted" to "in-progress" two days ago. The journal was a pretty perfect fit for this piece so it's the only one I submitted it to. Wish me luck, bros. Do you guys think it's a good sign that they haven't just immediately rejected it? I know it's silly to speculate but this is the first time for me so I'm kind of just going through the process right now.

I do not understand how fundamentally to tell a story.

Why am I like this? I'm not a total brainlet, but for some reason I just can't get narrative out the other end (if you know what I mean). It's like I have a mental block when trying to imagine a complete story. Is this a problem unique to me or does everyone have to learn such basic human concepts?

please help

>>19847834
Check out some of the books in the OP

>>19847810
I think most literate adults can parse a sentence which contains a semi-colon. They don't create difficulty if used correctly, and should make reading easier, in fact. Though they are the only symbol which one needs to learn how to use, in comparison to other punctuation

>>19847834
Story is overrated. I went through something similar when I first started writing. I eventually realized that it wasn't that I was unable to Write The Story, but that I just didn't value it. All my favorite books are extremely light on plot, story, etc. I decided to just... not pay that much attention to it. If plot and story happen to circumstantially appear within my writing, fine. I'm not going to bend over backwards to shoehorn it in though. I don't care about story or plot when I read, and since I believe strongly in the "write what you want to read" deal, that's that.

There's only one story anyway: the author's process of writing. Literally everything ever written is prefaced invisibly by, "so, I sat down to write, and then...." Why not just cut out the middleman and the dumb traditionalist constraints and really just write what you want to? Write it well, but write what you want to. Fuck the rest.

>>19847875
>Why not just cut out the middleman and the dumb traditionalist constraints and really just write what you want to?
If you want your books to sell, you better stick to traditional constraints – after all, they are traditional because they're commercially viable. You can write whatever you want, of course.

>>19847875
What if Mozart hadn't been taught how to compose in a setting or whatever, but had just been told
>lol! harmony is totes cringe. just play, like, whatever you want, man - its all about your spirit or something...!!!

i want to learn how to write narrative, not how to write a blogpost/diary entry

how do u personally outline your novels? i need a starting point...

>>19847894
>If you want your books to sell, you better stick to traditional constraints
Better grow your presence on Twitter too! Consider a YouTube channel haha!
>>19847897
Okay, if you're really attached to the idea that you're a brainlet and just Can't Write The Story (Dang!), feel free to continue believing that. For the record, the reason you can't write narrative is because you're a retard.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

>>19847949
Figure out your ending point first.

>>19844926
Could you give an example of how "he drove to the store." could be translated into show?

>>19847953
>Better grow your presence on Twitter too! Consider a YouTube channel haha!
Write what you want, but you can't deny that most readers like traditional storytelling. That's not a daring assumption. And since most writers want to be read and to be liked and, in the best case, want to earn a living with their work - another assumption that is not too bold, I'd say - your advice to break with the "traditional constraints" seems to be rather counterproductive.

>>19847992
The black man heaved his fat ass into the car seat nutshell of his Porsche 911, put the gear shift into light speed overdrive and kicked the see-you-later-pedal hard. Woosh! Slinging across the sandcastled playground, he zoomed along the well populated sidewalk...

>>19847995
I prefer to give people benefit of the doubt. I don't want immediately to jump to the assumption that every person I interact with is your average Joe Retard writing for his fellow, average retards, asking questions that can be answered by Google searches, or on r*ddit, or in stuffy On Writing books by people who can barely write. I like to assume that someone who comes to this specific corner of the internet doesn't just want the standard, staid bullshit which pollutes every other place on the internet. I figure sometimes that maybe on 4chan I could address people from a different set of baseline assumptions.

I see that, in this circumstance, I was mistaken!

>>19848050
You sound very aggressive and I don't understand why you are so upset. Maybe you're enjoying your hypercritical attitude. But in the long run, you won't make any friends with it and won't get much enjoyment from it. That seems, atleast, to be the case for most people who behave the way you do. It is very difficult to live alone. You seem to want to remain elitist, a free spirit. I respect that and I hope that your mindset won't ruin you.

>>19848071
Was Nabokov "upset" in his criticisms of other writers? Did he actually, genuinely feel anger and spite towards the writers he denigrated? Or was it just an exceptional ability to evoke a particular spirit or feeling such that his words and writings were indistinguishable from anger?

I'm no Nabokov, but what I really hate—in others, and especially when I catch a whiff of it on my own breath—is an acceptance of mediocrity. Am I using strong, forceful language? Abso-fucking-lutely I am. I want this general to foster a spirit of ambition, of experimentation, and of the pursuit of excellence. I recognize that what I want is strictly equal to what any other anonymous poster here wants, but that means I am also justified in trying to shape the discourse here. I want us all to be excellent. I want us to be MY version of excellence, granted, but I'll permit myself that small conceit.

>>19848106
Ah, I see. With that, I can do no more than praise your ferosity and turn to other anons who behave more charitably. Best of luck.

I have three developed characters, a setting, message and theme.
Now what?

>>19848260
Now you start collecting twitter followers, maybe open a youtube channel that does reaction videos.

>>19848260
Now you insert your pieces into an engaging and believable plot.

>>19848260
Think about all the objects and places within your setting that can be metaphors for aspects of your theme, then use those metaphorical objects and places as ways of frustrating or producing conflict between or with your characters, since they are developed they should have certain psychological compositions and it should be very easy to elicit conflict, those conflicts with the metaphors should all daisy chain together in a manner that causes rising tension - this will be your plot which is a dramatization of your theme. Once you have determined your plot, you can begin writing the prose.
Then rewrite it. And rewrite it again until you have no idea how to improve it. Then get a few other people to read it and give feedback, and rewrite accordingly.

>>19848340
Thank you. Sounds like great advice. I will give it a go.

>>19847760
Hot take. Semicolons, em dashes, and commas are all just ways to put a pause in a sentence and are nearly interchangeable.

>>19845069
Yes I do disagree with it, people misunderstand it. I also disagree with outlawing adverbs because sometimes saying something in less words is better than explaining it with sensory detail. However adverbs pack more punch later in a story as you can build connotation and a single word that would otherwise be weak takes you back to the most poignant scenes where you had lots of sensation. Adverbs can absolutely do heavy lifting but if you wrecklessly tack them on they cant describe as much as a more showing sentence would.

>>19848260
A conflict to drive the story forward and fetishes to insert subtly

>>19847949
All of my books have started with me daydreaming somewhere about a specific scene and building the rest of the book(s) around it. My current book for instance started with me wondering about two men who start out as enemies, then become friends, then brothers, then rivals, then enemies again. It seemed like a classic base I could really work with from experience and take it in any direction. The story just evolved from there.

>>19847949
I just start writing. Then I think about what I've already written, think about where I can go with it. Then I write more, and I keep thinking about the now-diminished places I can go with it. I rinse and repeat until I'm at the very end of that narrowing hallway and all that's left to do is keep going.

>>19847949
There's no one right way to do it but I start from an idea that keeps me up and try to imagine events, characters, settings or ideas that portray them. I come up with a few major beats to get that across then ask what happens between giving attention to multiple threads. I mix up the dominant emotions and pace of scenes though I tune pacing more in other drafts. I want to avoid specific structure in the future but I used 5 act tragedy structure this time and I found it easy to snap in where scenes belonged.
I write with an outline up on another screen that reminds me of my place in the story, conflict, disaster etc (scene sequel format) but I will still surprise myself writing because a fleshed out a character may do something different than you first imagine. So use an outline but dont take it as gospel, writing is a labor but also reflective. You will learn more about your story as you write it.

>>19848415
Don’t forget ellipses!

When I’m texting/posting here I tend to overuse ellipses…
When I’m composing an email I tend toward parenthesis (finding ways to convert or remove what would have been ellipses)
When writing a piece, I prefer dashes - though I may still need an occasional parenthetical.

Semicolons and colons are a whole different thing, though.

>want to use the word mischievity
>has red line under it
>google it
>apparently this word doesn't exist
>say fuck it and use it anyway
Now this is the true sigma male grindset

>>19841034
Can I get a critique?

The consequences of a rapidly evolving world with little oversight and on purpose sabotage for monetary gain was growing more and more evident with each generation of the Modern Man. No longer was Man able to afford a house and supplement a lifestyle worthy of a single job. Increasingly, Man found himself disconnecting with the world outside for the superficial morality and set of values was starting to become apparent; Coupled with the demoralization brought on by the media's constant filling the nation with stodgy stories of sky rocketing crime, it was no surprise at all that Man had started to lose his once proud identity in believing to aspire than more just his self.

To Darby, there was a simmering rage beneath the thin veneer of a civilized Man that was palpable even to him. So it was no surprise when a world wide EMP was unleashed by a rogue faction of government, that the rage had finally found an outlet to be unleashed upon. It engulfed and completely consumed even the meek. Streets ran crimson with the blood of the fallen and the air was filled with the cacophony of those losing their souls to the dark pleasure of a world with no more restraints.

To Darby, it was no surprise at all that the tensions had finally come to an explosive tipping point and he had prepared for it as best as he could as he wondered through the now made real necropolis of his fever dreams. Seeing the stark brutality of the new world with his own eyes, did not make him wish for the old world. He could not surmise a valid reason that would make sense why but to Darby, it was a chance that when this dark age would be over Man would have learned from his folley and not repeat a generational mistake and let it grow like a cancer again.

His faith in that was secure and immovable like a force of nature, even as he took part in the necessary evil to live. It was only that. Necessary. And only a suicidal fool would dare deny that, only a fool stuck in the decay of the old ways.

As Darby made his way to the highest point in the city, he mused in his battered mind that at least today there was a partial silence, enough to hear his own thought. He climbed the fifty flights of stair with ease, having done so a myriad of times. It only gets easier for him as he built the stamina and muscle. He likened it to Jacob's Ladder. When he finally reached the top, he went to the railing and let the cool wind caress his sweat soaked face like a gentle lover and gazed out at the necropolis. When he was satisfied, he closed his eyes and simply whispered "kyrie eleison," before opening his eyes again and touching the orthodox cross he planted on the railing. Letting God see the world as it is.

And letting God know that Man still believed in more than just His self

>>19849159
A modern Shakespeare.

>>19849166
I think, if you delete everything but the second to last paragraph, it's quite okay. Your comparisons lack punch and shimmer.

Critique pls:

Groans escaped from both her ends as air pockets caught between the turds and her rectum walls released with a bassy roll of wet pops. From where the young man leaned over her could see the ring of light brown wrinkles spread open, and the dark face of the first serpent peek into creation. The body that followed was so much larger than it's nose made it seem. Her circlet clung to it as it passed, as if desperately trying to apprehend the newborn before it could escape, and a projecting sphincter interrupted the once smooth valley between the oracle's spread butt cheeks. She gasped and shuddered against the young man's legs. Though at first the procession was snailishly slow, the ropey length gathered speed until its tail finally threw itself onto the grass behind her, tangling into the rest of its coiled body. Her anus began settling back into place, as dough might, but stopped to shudder at a machine gun burst of flatulence, whose depressive pitch made it sound embarrassed to be there. Without delay, another girthy line of brown paste followed like custard from a machine. Somewhere along it's middle, she contracted her nethers, severing the soft turd in half and squeezing feces into the cleft of her bottom. What had already escaped fell limp beside it's older kin, and in a moment it was joined by the rest of itself with a moist thud. Bitter steam billowed from her leavings. The young man crinkled his nose, while she began catching her breath.
"Are you finished?" the young man said.
"Yes," she said, in her low, scratchy voice.
"Then face the tree and turn your butt towards me."
Still squatting, she rotated until she could rest her cuffed hands against the birch. The young man, kneeling now, found himself staring into the dilations of a reeking black star. He ripped off a sheet of toilet paper, bunched it between his fingers and drew it across the filthy corona, stretching her sphincter and gathering brown sludge beneath the tissue. Thoroughly used, the paper was thrown in with the rest of the refuse and another, clean piece was torn from the roll.
She looked over her shoulder at him, grinning, "have you ever wondered how it tastes?"
"Be quiet," he said, and began wiping again.
"You could just lean in and have a lick and no one would know. I certainly wouldn't tell anybody."
"I said shut up."
"Look, here," she said, "I'll make you something fresh."
She tensed up and began to groan again. He was wiping the inside of her butt cheeks when he saw her rim bunch and erupt with one small, dark turd, right next to his foreknuckles. It slid out, barely missing the young man who had kicked himself up and away from the squatting priestess and now watched as her gift slapped against the ground where he had just been kneeling.
"You're disgusting!"
She laughed and raised her swaying hindquarters at him.
"What are you waiting for imperial?" she called to him, "clean it up!"

>>19849245
The second half works better than the first. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but you seem to be better at describing a series of different actions than you are at breaking down an action into a series of moments. The first half feels very mechanical, distant, impersonal. What do you think about the first half? Does it turn you on?

>>19849295
I wrote it and posted it as a joke (haha) but looking over now I have to agree. The first half is really unalive. I was trying to be distasteful but ended up tasteless

>>19849159
There’s an animated series on YouTube called Interface, one of the main characters is a clown that once described himself as a gleedian. I cannot find reference to that word anywhere else but I really love it and I know I’m going to find a place for it in my current story.

>>19849245
Based scatbro

>>19842992
Yeah it's a bit clunky, I sort of speed-wrote it. Your suggestions are interesting, I've been playing around with these sort of recursive rhyming themes.

>>19842169
The answer should always be just write and see where it takes you.

>>19847013
I quite liked it anon, I thought the comparison between being home to yard time was especially interesting. It was a little difficult for me to understand at time, though.
I also think you should try and establish the cockney voice a little sooner. I didn't realize the tone until the middle part of the first paragraph. It also seems a little strange to have a blue collar worker refer to "epitaphs," but that might be intentional.

>>19843177
>>19843236
Vonnegut called semicolons transvestites; I'm starting to think he was the transvestite.

>>19850779
He was kidding when he said that, but I feel contempt anyways for anyone who actually took that advice at face value.

What's this board's opinion on Haiku?

>>19850946
A poetic form that only makes sense when writing with chinese/japanese characters.
The version we see most often in the US (using 5-7-5 english syllables) is such an awkward frankenstein it should not be called haiku.

There are spoken languages out there who don’t emphasize syllables…do you think they run around trying to shoehorn iambic pentameter into their poetry?

>>19847013
It feels fake, the vernacular doesn't fit anywhere I can imagine.So it feels completely fake.

Scenery also feels fake, no real detail, just generalizations.

Various cliche things like tombs and sarcophagus, sucking the life from them, etc.

But keep going, anon, keep editing. You've got potential

5 books, $2,000 a month each.
Retire.
Doable?

>>19851853
Selling 5 books a month for $2,000 each sounds fairly ambitious.

>>19851853
If you sell them at 20 bucks, that means 100 copies sold monthly. Sounds humble enough

>>19847949
I start with an idea and slowly add to it. It takes a while before I have enough information to actually form an outline.

>>19852009
Different platforms take chunks of your revenue though, and then there's shipping and tax.

>>19847834
Write in first person as though you're literally telling the story to a person from the perspective of your character. Imagine you are sitting in a room saying all of it out loud.

>>19849965
Thanks for the critique, anon.

>>19851607
>Scenery also feels fake, no real detail, just generalizations.
I'm not really interested in fleshing out everything within the first few paragraphs, you know? I'd rather expound on everything later on, kind of 'revisit' things. Doting on the details at the very beginning ruins the pace for me.

>Various cliche things like tombs and sarcophagus, sucking the life from them, etc.
I agree, completely.

>It feels fake, the vernacular doesn't fit anywhere I can imagine.So it feels completely fake.
Considering I wrote it like how I normally think, just with more affected verbosity and character, this criticism hurts the worst lmao. Thanks for the honest feedback, really do appreciate it, though. I'll keep trying

HOW THE FUCK do I make elven races interesting without deviating from a Black and White thematic? I often find myself delineating into contemporary Gray-on-Gray moral faggotry whenever I add nuance or context. I don't want a tolkien-esque depiction, but there are few inspirations for elves that still manage to capture a sense of nobility without being debased in purity.

>>19847834
What did you do today anon? As in literally what did you do today?
Start with learning to relate events without trying to invent plot.
Then try to reframe those events in such a way that it is 'interesting' by emphasizing conflict between objectives, then introducing tension and suspense.
If you've learned anything from satire and parody, it should be that within reason even the most mundane events can be converted into thrilling stories (The Batrachomyomachia anyone? Or the Backdoor Sluts 9 episode of South Park?)
>>19849166
My first question is, why did Darby survive the EMP? Also I feel like rather than stating the cliched notions of how bad the media and consumerism is, why not reframe ironically: that it's been mythologized through rose colored (crimson coloured?) glasses

>>19852690
If you don't want your elves to be black and white, you should make them blue!

>>19852690
Going to the nordic roots of elves, they're demigodly beings that exist as an ideal for humans to strive for. Making elves as humanity's older brother gives them dibs on the high-end of the magic and technology in your world. Their longer existence could also grant them insight into the world that fuels their way of life, perhaps alien to other races, but sound nonetheless

>>19852690
Why even have elves as a race, then? Why not just curate the reader towards something wholly original; maybe it has certain characterizations of elves that you want to see, but add different qualities, backdrops, genesis stories etc. that cultivate a race that's elven in essence, but ultimately its own thing.

Does anyone use Grammarly to help them write?

Can you just write a stand-alone monologue and it be good?
Has anyone here ever attempted to write a monologue for stage?
I already have the character in mind the only thing is I can't figure out what the hell his profession is (other than he's a wheeler-dealer, but what's his specialty? Antiques? Vintage Cars? Real-Estate? Gibson Guitars?). As lame as it sounds I want to do the whole Method Actor thing, I want to write a few scenes or monologues of a character and do an assload of research to get inside the worldview of a character who is so different to me. Maybe even do some sense memory exercises.
I think it'd be fun to write, because it'll force me to change my vocabulary and prosody even in writing to get down the speaking patterns (and thus the mentality and values) of this character.
How do you write a monologue without a surrounding dramatic premise? Do I just make one up?

>>19852739
I knew a troon who used it when erping but at least for me, proofreading it once or twice is enough. Just google any words you're unsure about

>>19841937
>“Nouns doing things”
What does this mean? Aren't Nouns supposed to do things?

>>19852739
I don't need yet another tool yelling at me for "using passive voice" because university memelords decided that every sentence in every novel must be dumbed down for ESL faggots who can't comprehend verb tenses. Half the time the existing tools flag dialogue anyway, making their advice worthless even if I was trying to remove passive voice for the narration.

I am looking at a big black cock. Like a giant turd sticking out of a even larger one. It pulsated and throbbed as valleys formed between its hot bumpy disgusting veins. It was a spectacular sight if not for the smell. The odor was unbearable for even the most hardened man. The stench grew closer as I curled back in disgust. All my senses heightened as the giant black shadow moved closer to my body. Everything kept saying no, but I had to do it. Money and attention is what I needed. It will only be for a few minutes, and the green that soon arrives will wipe any shame I feel now. It will be okay. One day, someone will put a ring on my finger and I will no longer need to place these giant stinky turds inside my white nubile body.

566 words tonight after being busy all evening. I think I was transitioning too fast from party to assassination attempt, so I'm going to add maybe 2000 words of filler to see if I can trick the reader into thinking enough time has passed that an assassination attempt doesn't feel too sudden.

>>19841034
HOW THE FUCK do I make elven races interesting without deviating from a Black and White thematic? I often find myself delineating into contemporary Gray-on-Gray moral faggotry whenever I add nuance or context. I don't want a tolkien-esque depiction, but there are few inspirations for elves that still manage to capture a sense of nobility without being debased in purity.

>>19852802
woops nigger jannies moved this shit and i didnt see my b

>>19852739
I use it as second stage editing, then I edit it in google docs since it tends to miss stuff and vice versa.

>>19852816
Google docs, word, libre office. Which works best?

>>19852854
No idea. Like I said, I use Grammarly and Gdocs at the same time after finishing one I put it through the other.

>>19852690
>>19852802
Why'd you post this twice?

>>19852811
see>>19852864

>>19847949
I have an outline, but I find my story always strays far from what was intended

no writing today, I spent it troubleshooting my grandma's modem and ending a toxic friendship

>>19852904
I wrote, but I got destroyed so badly by writing forums I don't know if I can continue making this my hobby

>>19852910
where and why?

>>19852802
I have an elf race that partakes in what appears to be sick activities upon first glance but despite the depravity, strike awe in the hearts of outlanders due to being steeped in high tradition and noble ritual. An example is Ylomr Haquar, or "Blood of my Blood", whereby the familial Egdracul (the Hearth Tree) is fed the flesh of the ninth daughter of a ninth daughter on the half-moon festival Quarayn. The daughter is given anaesthetic herbs and, awake, carved into pieces using her birth tattoos as guiding lines for the knives. A group of Gulymrana (the Leaf-singers) chant a spell to keep her alive despite being separated, and the pieces are placed into the maw of the Egdracul. There, they nourish the tree for another 500 years. Before dawn, the spirit of Egdracul finds an elven maiden and impregnates her with the seed of the ninth daughter. In a few hours, the maiden is already having contractions and heads to the river to be anointed with holy waters by the Gulymrana, in order to bless the reincarnation of the ninth daughter.

>>19852690
Let me just say: fuck elves.
With that out of the way, there's all sorts of the pointy eared bastards. High and dark elves like you said. Sylvan elves, Savage (moreso than Sylvan) elves, Moon elves (fuckin' moon elves, man), Aquatic elves, Snow niggers I mean elves.
Man. Fuck elves.

>>19852802
>delineating

How do I write experimental fiction in the style of Krasznahorkai, DFW, or Bolano?

>>19853425
I don't know. Try experimenting a little.

>>19850946
Words from far Nippon.
Exotic yet not really.
Entry level poem.

>He was angry.
Telling
>He scowled.
Showing
...
Any questions?

>>19853566
No, but I want to say additionally that the reason for a rule is more important than the rule itself. It's not enough to just know in abstract what the rules are. That doesn't help you know when to break or follow the rules. These kinds of reductionist takes lose so much precision that they become next to meaningless. "Show, don't tell" is less a rule than an invitation to examine more fundamental aspects of writing. The irony in your post is that there are questions that should be asked, and that I don't think you're in any position to answer them.

im shit at grammar and writing things poetically
but im confident in my ability to make an intriguing story.
is there any hope for me or will i only ever be seen as an armature no matter the formatting and editing?

i dont know what makes good writing, i dont look at books for what the grammar, format, or whatever formal presentation it takes, ive only enjoyed things from what the meaning of the words are and what they made me think or feel after. and ultimately that is the point of the book, and the only thing you will really remember when things are done. i just cant see myself saying these things as seriously in writing without feeling pretentious for writing something so seriously, its like im feeling cringe over something i dont even know the quality of.

i dont feel like someone can read the words i write and think good of them, like the first thought in their head would be "i could do this better" and my efforts go to waste as they think more on that than any narrative i tried to build. i have no right to think the consumer would be any dumber than me, or any less arrogant either.

what makes this even more confusing is that i can look at things critically and imagine how i could write a line better, but only feel it wouldnt make any difference since i enjoy it as a whole and not line by line. but it just feels like every single line is flawed. it feels contrived to go out of my way to describe something other than the verb it is, painting a picture only for it to be judged for its quality once made. if they cant point and say "they didnt explain the action at all" nothing could stop them from saying "the way they described this action is stupid"

>>19853566
>He made his anger with Floyd known in the most unambiguous manner
Telling
>He tore at Floyd's collar while showering him with insults, threats, and spittle
Showing

Would anyone mind telling me if I'm using too many commas? This is a paragraph I threw together, though it's pretty standard for me. I like using semicolons and commas, though part of me is afraid I'm using them too much. I'm not the best writer but I'm trying to get better and any thoughts are appreciated. I'm particularly interested if the description is vivid enough; I want to go into more detail but I'm not sure how much is too much.
>Elendra's staff glowed and the flames dispersed, though not a moment later and she wished her magic had failed her. Where she hoped to find Draedon stood only despair on black wings; her heart sank as the beasts' overgrown claws tightened around a soldier's throat. They barely had time to scream before a shower of blood coated the monster and its head turned, one massive eye piercing Elendra's soul. The beasts' lips stretched wide as a mass of writhing teeth forced their way out of its mouth. It was drenched in the victims' blood as well as its own, tooth and bone covered in viscera jutting from under its - Draedons - robes. A set of horrible claws, sizes too large for the frame they came from, tossed the spent toy aside and scraped the cobblestone as it moved toward the next target. Worst of all were the draconic wings - an abyss, framing this eater of hope perfectly; They swallowed all light around them. All she could see as it approached was one horrible eye.
>The mouth opened wide, and a single word snapped her to her senses:
>"... Disgusting."

>>19853891
You're not using too many commas.

You are a guide for the blind. Your clients are mostly young women and men. You are paid to take them by the hand, follow a target with them, and describe what that target is doing –– a kind of writing

>>19853983
>Your clients are mostly young women
Do I get to touch their butts? Imagine a blind girl, bros. You could touch her butt whenever you want and she'd never know it was you. If you're in public, you could even make a grab at her udders and pretend it was some passerby. She's blind. She's defenseless. What's she gonna do, jiu jitsu you into a submission hold and choke you out with her thick, meaty thighs? Until you smell that salty and savory cheesestink wafting down from her feet? Maybe you cum then? Or maybe you just cum later with the memory of your skin upon her breasts or butt or your neck between her kung-fu thighs as she choked you into unconsciousness, maybe into an involuntarily fart or two, a shit? maybe even a nice cum.

She's blind. What can she do, except make you cum?

>>19854061
She can think, she can reason, she can read.

>>19854078
Yes, I see. Interesting. Ok but what if I gradually replace her books with books I've written, which are normal books except for the fact that they concern themselves with the existence of Butt Touching Gremlins and she begins to believe that the gremlins are real so that when I touch her butt she thinks it was the Gremlins and then I can touch her butt all I want to while pretending I'm defending her from the Butt Touches of these Gremlins?

Potato. Potato. Tomato. Alfredo. Tomato.

Green eggs and ham, I'll have an extra large McGreenybutts. Thanks, the woman said, then died.

>>19846903
>Society is identity-oriented rather than collective-oriented now and was collective-oriented rather than identity-oriented before
Society is intrinsically tied to identity, one derives form the other and they cannot be separated. Identity arises from society and vice versa. You think you are anti-individualistic, but your hurt sense of individuality is what expresses itself through your post. What you view as an age of doom and individualism is simply a form of society you personally don't adhere to, in fact the political movements you so dread, like wokeism, are collectivist and in nature and community-oriented, just not your community. You are fooling yourself.

>>19846903
>Society is identity-oriented rather than collective-oriented now and was collective-oriented rather than identity-oriented before
Society is intrinsically tied to identity, one derives form the other and they cannot be separated. Identity arises from society and vice versa. You think you are anti-individualistic, but your hurt sense of individuality is what expresses itself through your post. What you view as an age of doom and individualism is simply a form of society you personally don't adhere to, in fact the political movements you so dread, like wokeism, are collectivist in nature and community-oriented, just not your community. You are fooling yourself.

>>19852854
Word > Libre > Docs

>mutual on twitter, 8300 followers, publishes book, 2nd day and has an amazon BSR of 3700
Yep, powerful.

>>19854463
What does he write?

>>19854465
erp inspired novels

>>19854465
History books, but honestly the book is so new my copy hasn’t gotten to me yet.
He didn’t even pin the release tweet.
I’m not even sure if he did preorders.

Guys, it literally this simple.
>account of 5-10k+ followers
>preorder
>release
>buy some ads
Rince and repeat for a total of 3-5 books and retire with an income of 10k+ a month.

>>19854513
This has nothing to do with writing. Try going to the advertising general.

>>19854519
You write fan fiction. I write books that will be remembered.
Go out there with a plan if you’re going to put time into ANYTHING.

>>19854513
Marketing degree rape anon here again.
Both of the strats you have there are only useful to kick start word of mouth. If you write something that isn't worth talking about then you are just wasting time and money.
Focus on your writing instead of pinning every single hope you have on marketing strats. If you feel like you already have that down then please post an excerpt for all of us to enjoy.

>>19854533
>I write books that will be remembered
Your mom doesn't count.
>Go out there with a plan if you’re going to put time into ANYTHING.
Okay there, Rigid Structure Man. Me? I'm not much for planning. Kind of kills the joy of the whole thing, you know? My plan is to write to the best of my ability and let the rest shake out as it's going to, meanwhile avoiding actions that'll compromise my integrity. I happen to think that the current, hypercapitalized state of the """"art market"""" isn't worth pandering to. I'm just not gonna do it! You know? I'm just not!

>busy writing first book
>short story prompts stacking up
>historical fiction outline sitting around
>autism speculative fiction source material bursting at the seems from last 15 years of bullshit Ive saved and now I have DEATH sentences and its 800 pages to riff on
I need to finish this book already

>>19854556
>Kind of kills the joy of the whole thing, you know? My plan is to write to the best of my ability and let the rest shake out as it's going to, meanwhile avoiding actions that'll compromise my integrity. I happen to think that the current, hypercapitalized state of the """"art market"""" isn't worth pandering to. I'm just not gonna do it! You know? I'm just not!
cope

You don’t plan because you want an excuse when you eventually fail.

Well anons, I’ve outgrown this community.
To those who listened silently, good luck.
To those who strike at everyone different than themselves, you’ll need more than good luck, because of the gap.

>>19854582
>fail
At what? Producing the best work I possibly can? I don't need to cope with that, I can actively work against it! That's the best coping strategy, ultimately. It's actually hard to even call that coping, because that generally implies an inability to exert agency. I can choose to write and practice writing as much as I want! Do I need to cope with failing to maintain my integrity? No, I don't think so. I don't plan on parting with that. Be more specific, please. It's starting to sound like you're just shitposting!

>>19854597
What a whiny, passive exit. Nobody really cares enough to think deeply about what you're vaguely dancing around, so you might as well just say it.

>>19854577
>>busy writing first book
>>short story prompts stacking up
I have the same problem. I'm overdue for my next book publication and the best I can write is flash fictions on the weekend.
>>historical fiction outline sitting around
This but comedic fantasy from 3.5 years ago that is good in spirit but so far sloppy and mediocre in execution.
>>autism speculative fiction source material bursting at the seems from last 15 years of bullshit Ive saved and now I have DEATH sentences and its 800 pages to riff on
Sounds based. I had an experimental work I was doing on paper in college I think might get folded into another work.
>I need to finish this book already
Godspeed anon. Year of hope.

How do I make money if I'm only good at coming up with ideas. I literally have a list of ideas but my writing is mediocre and I don't enjoy the craft.

>>19854843
>another idea guy
Disgusting.

>>19854843
>literally have a list of ideas
For every 30 ideas you have, 10 will be memorable, 5 will be writable, and 1 or 2 will become books
>my writing is mediocre
That can be improved with time and dedication
>I don't enjoy the craft.
Why are you here if you don't enjoy writing

>>19854857
>Why are you here if you don't enjoy writing
This. There is hope though: Try to find something about writing that you enjoy. You don't have to enjoy the whole thing, but you should enjoy some of it. Maybe the construction of tight plots?

>>19854857
I want to express myself

>>19853605
>only ever be seen as an armature
I'm sorry bro, you're always gonna be an armature in my eyes.

On a serious note: write it like you would enjoy reading it. If it's for the plot and characters, write it just as you wanna depict it. Skip the boring details, don't write more purple prose than you appreciate reading.
There are a million styles of writing, and no one style is readable for everyone. If you really have good plots, maybe someone'll see that and an editor will help you with whatever you're having difficulties with.
Question is: do you even write? Well do ya, punk? I mean, well do ya, armature?

>AID suuuuuucks
>F-list suuuuuuuuuucks

but what about

Any of you got any recs regarding movie scripts?
I tried asking /tv/ but got nothing

>>19855160
Chinatown is considered the greatest script of all time. Other than that, not sure what you want. You can google a fillm's script and read it lo

>>19855196
I have Chinatown at home. Is a study night what I'm going to do with my evening?

>>19855237
Yes, don't get distracted

>>19854638
>year of hope
Considering my vast improvement in discipline for daily reading I do have hope. I admit Ive dragged my feet since 2016, for 2 years it was just raving daydreams. Then early 2019 it was an actual document after realizing that literature was the appropriate outlet. Since then it's been outlining here, reading, podcasts and writing exercises there and the ever present waging. There's this certain type of scene dominating the second half and I'm trying to nail the irrationality aspect so it's going to need a lot of scrutiny on my part.

What's the key to writing a good slice of life story? Seems hard to establish good tension/stakes in a down to earth style of storytelling.

Recommend me some good books for studying prose.
I've recently realized that my own prose was poor, due to the garbage literary education provided by my school back when I was a student. I was a straight "A" literary student who scored 100s on all of my essays, even though my prose was choked full of comma splices and sentences that went on for too long (I would have 3-7 clause sentences with multiple complete thoughts.) It's only recently, while here, that I've realized my prose is subpar and needs much work.
As a kid, I really only read fanfiction, so that's probably where a lot og my bad habits stem from.
I was looking at Nabokov's works to study his prose, but he seems like a poor act to follow because he makes the stylistic choice to deliberately use comma splices and run on sentences. And while a master like him can do that because he's already mastered the english language, I cannot, because I'm nowhere near his level

Isn't it funny that both Tony and Eric are called Blair?

>>19855456
And while a master like him can do that because he's already mastered the english language, I cannot, because I'm nowhere near his level
And while a master like him can do that, I cannot.

>>19855513
Yeah, I know. My sentences tend to drag on for too long. It's a habit I'm trying to stamp out, but it's hard because I've been writing like that for over a decade.
Hence why I'm trying to find some authors with good, traditional prose that I can study

>>19855528
You can try some H. G. Wells. I've always seen his prose as straightforward without being threadbare.

>>19855528
If you know what you're doing wrong, then why bother looking to other writers? You're not stupid: Write as well as you can. Then edit your work. Otherwise, you'll just get yourself confused.

I've been experimenting with free writing but what I produce, session to session, is just too random and disconnected to be off much use. I'm thinking that if I persevere and then edit it heavily, I might produce something quite beautiful and unique though, it's difficult to say. I've even been hiding what I've written with a black font and black highlight.

>>19855555
>HG Wells
Funny how in multiple novels he saves the second last page to drop the gamer word (When the Sleeper Wakes and Mr. Polly both did that) and scholars try to defend it as meaning something different in late 19th century England when the protag is slaughtering black mercenaries.
Also witnessed.

>>19855528
You'll never be a writer. Give up

>>19853891
You're using too many commas.

3.6k words. A3. Feedback appreciated

>>19856738
Cool? I guess? Congrats?

>>19856738
Forgot file:
https://mega.nz/file/MdQBjSZR#hcv5eaBSKZAQfym9W7vAUSsPDypmtOXKH3YR559ZMXo

>>19856747
Just kinda skimmed through it, nothing major jumped out at me, just remember to add dialogue tags is all.

>>19856778
Dialog tags? Also what do you mean by major. As in bad or good or forgetful?

>>19853566
Those are both telling

>>19856802
No, the second one is showing. Don't you understand what "showing" and "telling" signify in this context?

>>19854843
ideas, unfortunately, are free so you can't make money off them

>>19856800
"blah blah," Bob said.
"I agree," Jane said. Bob adjusted his glasses.
"By the way, same time next time?" Bob muses. Jane nods and proceeds to fuck off.

Like that. There's a lot of full stop dialogue sentences without any indicator of who's talking. It can get kinda easy to forget who's talking if you do it a lot.

> As in bad or good or forgetful?
There wasn't anything bad to point out. I admit it was more of a gloss so the only thing that I noticed right off the bat was the lack of dialogue tags. First beginning paragraph seemed a bit long though, but ther than that it's better than what's usually posted here.

>>19856802
both sentences have the same meaning. the first sentence directly tells you what the meaning is. the second describes a character's actions and trusts the audience to figure it out on their own.

>>19856830
It was a stupid question anyway. A quick search told me what you were were talkin about. There's only two characters interacting that why I can dismiss dialog tags.

>>19856863
>that why I can dismiss dialog tags.
Don't. Always assume your readers are retarded.

>>19856809
That example is show vs tell in only a descriptive sense that gives the more effort without adding more words, but that doesnt capture the pacing meaning it had from the silverscreen where the term originated. People would abuse cards that say "and then they robbed the bank" "and then he died" when itd have been better if the movie showed an entire scene exploring the significance of the event to raise the action. There are times when you can use understatement effectively, but generally speaking you want to show more of an important thing even if it's just a paragraph (or equivalent of a brief shot in a movie).

>>19853891
You're not using too many or too few commas, you're using precisely the amount you meant to.

Actually I think it's fine though the paragraph/sentence length dissipates some of the tension for the type of scene it is. Could try breaking it up differently and you could try replacing "horrible" with "oversized" claws to reduce sentence length.

Where's a good website to upload a novel length story with multiple chapters in a readable format? Ideally places I wouldn't be embarrassed to be associated with because of pornographic fetish literature, so that excludes places like AO3 and Fanfiction.net

>>19856865
Sure but read what I wrote first no ^^.

>>19856738
>https://mega.nz/file/MdQBjSZR#hcv5eaBSKZAQfym9W7vAUSsPDypmtOXKH3YR559ZMXo
Filtered by modern audiences

>>19856881
Royalroad.
Make sure to write a lit-rpg so you can actually make money on the side on your patreon.

>>19856881
>Royalroad
>Spacebattles
>Scribblehub? May not fit your criteria however.
>Reddits if you truly hate yourself; r/HYF, r/redditserials
Don't do wattpad or Webnovel. Just don't. There is also Tapas but I've had no experience with it. There's inkitt too but same thing. Quotev is still around but deader than Wattpad. AO3 seems to be OK with OC but no idea how it works.

>>19856901
>>19856904
I don't necessarily intend to make money off of it, I'm just doing it for my own amusement and satisfaction, but it's not exactly easy to share an ugly MSword document with friends for feedback when you could just link them a story on a webpage.

>>19856881
>Ideally places I wouldn't be embarrassed to be associated with because of pornographic fetish literature
Where do you think we are?
Half of us are writing about rape, the other half don't write.

>>19857233
I've been posting mine on those sites with zero intention of making even a penny off them. I see where you're coming from though. Not to sound pessimistic but i doubt they'll even read it anyway.

>>19856881
kindle vella

>>19857423
Wouldn't recommend this. Amazon is out of touch with how webnovels actually work and from what I remember it has overwhelmingly scuffed page width so text is super bunched up and squished.

"The only thing that keeps him from looking truly regal is his small and sunken eyes. They give the king a devious look, more like a swindler than a king. I have never liked looking into the king's eyes, even back when he was just the prince consort. I bow and wait for the king to acknowledge me before speaking.

"Your Majesty I regret to inform you that your daughter, Princess Mericel, did not survive the casting of the spell."

King Raden says "Never mind that what were the results?"

I can't believe my ears. How can the king care more about the summons than his own daughter? It's not like Princess Amercy who was the daughter of the previous Prince Regent, this is his own flesh and blood that just died. Am I just seeing things or does he appear happy about it?

"Ahem...we successfully summoned all fifty available summons, Your Majesty. Although twenty-two of the forty-nine were non-combat classes such as crafters and farmers leaving only twenty-seven combat types."

King Raden says "That's fine, as long as the other nations can't summon anyone next year during the normal summoning time everything will go according to plan. Teach the non-combat summons enough about the nation to get by. Then send the crafters to the appropriate guilds and give the farmers each a parcel of empty land."

'Yes we summoned all of them and it only cost your daughter's life! I wish I dared say that to his face. The more time that passes since the queen died the more I find myself wondering what I'm even doing here.'

"As you command My King!"

Knight Commander Tarrik says "Your Majesty, why bother with the non-combat summons? Just throw them all in the pit."

As usual Tarrik doesn't think or understand anything. He is a complete idiot and so out of shape he has to have his armor enchanted to support its own weight because he can barely move himself around. I understand the king needed to bribe his family into supporting the crown but to put such a buffoon as Knight Commander of the army is just ridiculous!"
>grammar like this can get trending and 24 paetrons on royalroad
it's over

The bread. Bake it.

5 more minutes

>>19841034
The recruitment office was cold, just like every other place in the city at this time of the year. Men were standing in a long widing line that trailed to the back of the office where the little bell that hung above the door was. A man of about thirty years stood waiting with the rest of his fellows. His hair was short and somewhat balding and he had stubble on his face. His eyes were bleary and drooping, presently the man yawned. In front of him in the line was a younger person, perhaps even a teenager, shaking slightly. The older man grabbed his shoulder.
“Hey, what’s wrong, you cold kid?”
The man turned around and the older one could see his eyes were a stark grey. Despite his assumption the boy was grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Oh no! I’m fine, very excited is all.”
The older man raised his eyebrow, appraising his younger friend. “Really, what the hell you excited about being in this place?”
The boy laughed. “Well, I’ve been wanting to join the military since I was a boy, I turned of age last week.”
“Mmm since you were a boy eh?” The man looked off wistfully, reminiscing over his own childhood. “Lots of kids wanna be a man in uniform but most don’t ever really follow through, especially nowadays, with… ya know, the sybils.”
The grin on the younger man’s face dimmed. “Yes, Yes, of course the sybils.”
The boy’s eyes trailed off and out of the office, watching the pedestrians walk about their daily business.

“You know my mother wouldn’t let me hear the end about them and their prophecies.” He tried to muster a laugh but it fell short.

His companion shrugged. “Still got time kid.” He said. “Can walk right out the door and they won’t put you in front of a firing squad yet.”

The boy scratched the back of his head. “I’m not having second thoughts but I’m sure I’ll miss my family. I’m sure that’s a part of growing up, dealing with unpleasant things.”

The balding man laughed. “Amen to that kid, you got a light?” Pulling a pack of cigarettes from his old dirty coat.

>>19858039
Stopped reading at the comma splice.

>>19858039
>The balding man laughed. “Amen to that kid, you got a light?” Pulling a pack of cigarettes from his old dirty coat.
Filtered.

>>19857677
>5 more minutes
>nearly 2 hours later and still no bread
lel

>>19858164
It's over...

New thread
>>19858182