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/lit/ - Literature

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1978205 No.1978205 [Reply] [Original]

Hey, /lit/,

Why are ENGLISH PEOPLE SUCH FUCKING FAGS?

I signed up for this "English Lit" course for a Humanities credit at my community college over the summer. The professor is this stuffy boarding school British fag and he acts fucking GAY. Like, he's always wearing these designer vests and shit, all like "oooohhh I lovveee Gucci my clothes are sooo sexyyy" right in front of the whole class. He carries this umbrella around, shellacks his hair to his head (probably with his own jizz) and wears fucking GOLD VESTS and PURPLE COATS with GREEN TIES. If that isn't fucking queer enough this fag turns the entire class into a queer little tea party. Like, every single fucking class he'll be making these gay hand gestures and bring in a kettle of tea. His favorite word for everything is "Delightful!" Not only that but he's always talking about "gay themes" that aren't even there in Christina Rosetti's story about the goblins or some poetry we have to "interpret" even though it makes no fucking sense. He just reads gay into everything and it fucking skeezes me out.
When I had his class over the summer this fuck kept putting his hands on my shoulders and calling me "dear boy," like he wants me to be his butt slave, and once he actually had me sent to the judicial office for slapping his hand off of me. The gay fuck kept on touching me even after I filed a report.


I've met a few other British people and they are all fucking fruits. They are gayer than Jude Law and Vin Deisel sucking off a clown. What is it about England that makes such a race of sick homosexuals? I feel like this creepy shit is exactly the shit we liberated ourselves from in the revolutionary war. Fucking FAGGOTS.

>> No.1978211

>implying you're not a 15 year old troll who has never even seen a community college, much less left his basement

>> No.1978219

>>1978211

I'm about to start my fifth semester, I know my community college like the back of my hand. Shut the fuck up, asshole.

>> No.1978227

0/10

try harder please

>> No.1978230

>>1978227

I'm not trolling, you fucking retard. I was sexually HARRASSED and I need to fucking VENT. Maybe you fag-enablers can't understand that.

>> No.1978244

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUexCjMJctQ

>> No.1978248

are you the same person who asked a couple months ago if you should enroll in the English Lit class?

because if you are: TOLD YA SO

>> No.1978253

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

IT BEING PUBLISHED IN THE 50'S MADE ME BELIEVE IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE 50'S, SO I HELD IT OFF. BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS WRITTEN THROUGHOUT THE 30'S AND 40'S (WHOLE SERIES), I JUMPED ON IT

>> No.1978260

Fucking faggots. That faggot queer needs to be fired.

>> No.1978267

>>1978253
OOPS, WRONG THREAD. SORRY GUYS.

>> No.1978275

>>1978230
You weren't sexually harassed dude. You're just a homophobic fucktard who thinks all English people are gay because this one teacher you had was homosexual. Grow the fuck up and stop acting like an immature little shit and get with the times. You're one of the reasons the world can't grow up culturally. Kindly fuck off.

>> No.1978283

>>1978275

>implying unwanted touching from a predatory homosexual isn't harrassment

I would have kicked that teacher's ass.

>> No.1978297

>>1978275

>You're just a homophobic fucktard who thinks all English people are gay

You mean they aren't?

>> No.1978305

>>1978275
When he laid his hands on him and called him "dear boy" he was asking to get his face beaten to a bloody pulp.

>> No.1978308
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1978308

>> No.1978321

ughh straight people are such prudes

>> No.1978559

>>1978321

No, you're just a fag.

>> No.1978574
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1978574

> gay professor touches my shoulder
> he wants my cock
> he wants to turn my gay
> this is sexual harassment

Jesus Christ . . .

>> No.1978590

Sounds like a gay guy simply touched you in a friendly and non-sexual way and you then vividly imagined having full-on buttsex with him. Which means the problem is with you.

>> No.1978611

> teaching my English lit class
> try to offer a unique interpretation of certain texts, based on my own difficult life experiences
> notice one student in particular
> seems like an intelligent chap; bit of an arrogant tosser
> extremely sullen and withdrawn
> notice he seems distraught and conflicted by my lecture
> I recognize the signs
> I innocently approach him, with the intention of asking him if he wants help unleashing his closeted homosexuality
> touch his shoulder
> he slaps it off, accuses me of wanting to make him my butt-slave, and files a report against me

I just don't understand /lit/.

It's so easy to teach . . . but so hard to REACH.around

>> No.1978615

This guy sounds like quite a character. I wish I had such interesting teachers.

>> No.1978631
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1978631

I am actually British. And I have actually sucked off a clown.

Where do we go from here, OP?

>> No.1978677
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1978677

>>1978631

Down?

>> No.1978684

>>1978677

No, fuck off.

>> No.1978686
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1978686

>>1978684

>> No.1978698
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1978698

Come at me, you silly, twisted boy.

>> No.1978703

> brit goes to USA
> brit does english lit
yep, you will be getting the gayest of the gay. don't send them back: we hate them too.

>> No.1978707

>>1978703

>implying you aren't gay

Don't lie, everyone in England is gay

>> No.1978710
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1978710

Oh you beast, OP, you've come all over my mohair!

>> No.1978712

>>1978707

Even Daniel Craig?

>> No.1978718
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1978718

Don't let's be beastly to one another, OP. Shall I be mother? Tea?

>> No.1978721

>>1978712

Yes.

>> No.1978782
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1978782

>>1978712

>> No.1979127

English people are fags and fags suck.

Death to fags!

>> No.1979276

I'm English, and he sounds like a prick. However it may well be that is he projecting what he feels to you is a comfortable stereotype of his identity because he is too insecure in a strange country to behave in a manner that is more suited to him.

Or maybe he's just a prick who plays up the English thing because he thinks that's what you retards want (it is) and it's probably what got him his charming English job.

Or maybe he just likes shitting up homophobic, nationalistic fucks by presenting a caricature of an Englishman whilst at the same time giving you a boner over the vast sweeping generalisations you can draw.

Fucking fucking fucker off, you fuckshit fucker. This thread means nothing. Get out.

>> No.1979311

>>1979276

>I'm English

fag.

>> No.1979326

>>1979311

Touché.

>> No.1979363

OP, I'm dying of laughter write now. A well written post, indeed.

>> No.1979389

>>1979363

>Dying of laughter write now

>write now

>criticising other peoples' writing

>> No.1979403
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1979403

>>1979389

>> No.1979722

Are all Americans this retarded?

>> No.1980353

>>1979389
It was a Nabokovian pun of sorts, you dense prole. And I'm not criticising his writing, I found the content funny.