/lit/ - Literature

ok writer, super dreamy dude

most of the writers i really love seem like they'd prob be offputtingly smegmatic. even the ladies

I love Mario Vargas Llosa's books so badly... and he is for me a sort of WILF and MILF at the same time. To me, he is better than Gabriel García Márquez... at least he is not a CommunistFag

>>1972827
>>1972978
Sameyfag.

George Eliot & Elif Shafak

george eliot kind of reminds me of ke$ha in some pictures

I'm ready for some fatal strategies.

bring it bitches

Not exactly a fag dude, 'cause I'm a femanon :)

Ayn Rand

my waifu

Rowling

Well dang. I could have gone my whole life without thinking about this, but you forced me to wonder OP.

I have to say Isabel Allende, even though I haven't read anything of hers, and she is a bit old for me.

So without starting a new thread, what do any of you think of her work? I'll be reading up on a bit now...

hemingway would be so bad in bed. if you want to sleep with some goof from oak park who fancies himself the world's most macho poet then visit columbia college chicago, sit in on a creative writing seminar, and post a craigslist missed connection to the one straight guy in the class

Zadie Smith.

I don't read any women literature.. Ahh well i guess i'll fuck Anne Frank

Virginia Woolf.

I'd go gay for Mervyn Peake

>>1973091
Jesus, she looks like an insect. Look at that mantis head.

Oh Dostoevsky, my crotch is a demon that festers like an idiot for you. You are my double, my lover, my gambler of desires. I dug deeply into the darkness between your legs, and you showered my face with your notes from underground. I could see nothing but white nights. Oh ma bonne amie! Take my adolescence! We can share this crime and punishment together.

>>1973112
Looks like a cross between Jonathan Lethem and Mark from Parks and Recreation. Would Not Smash

Thanks green-oval for reminding me that I already unloaded my sex fantasy about a drawing of Margaret Atwood onto this place once before and should probably throw my laptop out the window and take religious vows.

>I always think that she looks kind of sexy in the 1994-vintage portraits of popular authors that line the walls of the Barnes & Noble by my mom's house. Terry MacMillan is the most aesthetically attractive to me but she is rendered with a passive, uninteresting expression that suggests the woman never had any groove to get back. Atwood is very compelling in a stately, confident, brassy older woman kind of way and if I'm being honest the runner-up in the B&N Fuckability Pageant is the portrait of Stephen King that shoots me fuck-me eyes as I walk to the restrooms

(no Sunhawko)

>>1973114
Mantis head?

Andrea Dworkin lololo

>>1972827
There are no sexy authors to choose from, even Stephanie Meyer is low-meh tier

No, no, Harold Bloom! Take that boneless hand off of my thigh!

Zelda Fitzgerald wrote a book,did ya know?i'm throwing her into the mix

>>1973183
of course she did!

>My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes or fling you down under me on that softy belly of yours and fuck you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse, glorying in the open shape of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair.

so fucking romantic nnghh

>>1974351

Hell yeah!

Isaac Asimov (before he contracted AIDS of course). I honestly adore everything about the man, for both his mind and appearance.

<3

<3

JKR was probably hot when younger

>>1973106
fuck you, she's mine

Mary Shelley; or, The Hottest Author

>>1974438
Excuse me, but I posted her first. She's mine. See:
>>1973089

>>1974442
Well, fuck you too. I always post VW in threads like this one, I have dibs on her ass.

ruediger safranski

very daddy-ish

another one of ruediger

wise eyes

John henry mackay

>>1974473
sexy daddybear-type
a few extra pounds

>>1974432
jkr is hot now

Rimbaud, and I'm a straight male.

>>1974763
know that feel mang

Dear Lord.

mah husbando <3

>>1974787
whoops

forgot images

>>1974442
You can both have her. Ahem.

>>1974767
Agreed. I bet she was wild under the sheets with all that depression shit

>>1974418
HIV. Stupid dirty blood transfusion. I hadn't known till now.

>>1974760
Meh. As authors go, I guess so. I guess because she's a blonde.
Still prefer Allende.
First saw her on The Late Late Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbb0yTjxsMY
Old, but just darling.

>>1974763
I'd be surprised if any of these posters ITT were straight females

I'd like to get a hold of John Milton when he was still in that early chastity obsessed phase, pin him down and fuck the poetic beauty out of him.

Pamela Des Barres.
Completely perfect.

I just want to fuck her brains out and keep them in a jar.

>>1974807
I'm a straight female.

That being said...Oh Pamela, why can't we be girls together outrageously.

>>1974849

You could even do some "Comus"-themed roleplay.

Imagine my surprise when no one on /lit/ can find a good looking female author. These girls are all fives and six

>>1974797
You can do this trick for almost everyone posted here. Ahem.

>>1974912
Miss Pamela is a goddess.

Donna Tartt is everything I find sexy in a woman.

>>1974912
Go back to /fit/ asshole.

>>1974888
I don't believe it!
No girls on the internet! ;_;
...Yowza for Pamela.

>>1974912
zadie smith is a babia majora mang

they can't all be dime pieces like mervyn peake

A threesome with her and Brett Easton Ellis is like my dream.

>>1974946
So you like porking fat guys with no talent. Are you Sarah Silverman?

>>1973075
I'd show her my fountainhead if you get what I mean.
Wink wink nudge nudge.

>>1974940
How facetious of you.

>>1974946
god, even when he was young bret easton ellis was unfuckable. he looked like a skinny, mean john candy

the only writer approaching female any of you c/lit/s could fuck is poppy brite, and anyone who hasn't can leave the room

>>1974953
So I looked this de Darres woman up, and she's not an author.

>>1974798
another image

>>1974977
But she's certainly a writer.
Wether or not there's a palpable difference depends on how padantic you want to be.

>>1974996
>padantic
nice

>>1974996

Stop posting the groupie bitch.

>>1974996
who wants to fuck des barres? she been serviced more than my 1993 dodge neon. i'd prefer not to get std's thanks.

>>1974996
Not all that pedantic. I never take this stuff that seriously. So which male writer interests you Ms straightwoman?

>>1974967
What kind of sentence is that?

>>1974977
Berres, de Berres.
...Damn dyslexia

>>1975022

>>1975004
My motor learning skills really are awful.

>>1975005
Why? this board's for discussion, If I stop offering mine then that particular dynamic ceases- what a shame.

I'd much rather be berated than silenced. I enjoy a good back and forth as much as the next e/lit/ist, like yourself.

>>1975030
Well, Wilde was lovely but quite obviously unobtainable (sigh).

Lovecraft maybe. I think I'd have liked to have known him as a child - I was never sickly but certainly very poorly socialised. Not a hugely passionate kinship, something closer to a pacified version of young Cathy and Heathcliff.

Oh, and I'd hate-fuck Ritchard Dawkins.

>>1975081

Lord Byron. He'd be kinky as hell too.

>>1975110
Seconded.

Colette. Nuff said.

Salinger. I'd set up the perfect day for his bananafish any-day, and I'd be ready to catch his rye the moment he yelled "Uggghh, phoonnyyy!".

Don't tell me you haven't thought about it.

FOURSOME WITH THE BRONTE SISTERS

Mikhail Bulgakov, all day, every day. Or Jonathan Safran Foer.

>>1975488
so attainable~

i'm feeling randy

>scroll down
>no Kerouac

Oh wow /lit/. You sure have failed.
Dibs.

>>1975593
kind of hott to think of a pretty lil thing like gore vidal shtupping a rugged meathead like kerouac

>>1975593

Kerouac, but no Ginsberg? G's a legit queermo.

>>1975626
But he also looks like David Cross

She wrote a book guys

I'd also do Emily even though I don't like her work as much.

Charlotte I'd fucking bitchslap for the shit she pulled when it came to the republication of her own sister's work.

>>1975656
But she also looks like Snooki

>>1975664
>huge tits
>well endowed in the back as well as the rack
>cute face
>trashy

Problem?

>>1975658

yeah, I'd do that except, you know, it's the Bronte sisters so if anything they wrote had been withheld from the public, it would have been a real blessing

>>1975692
you forgot syphilis and the hiv, two moderate problems. not saying I wouldn't fuck it just saying double wrap it.

>>1975692
Being small does not make one cute, and no, she did not write a book

Meghan McCain wrote a book
Sarah Palin did not write a book.

>>1975704
If Snooki had an STD MTV would exploit the shit out of it and ruin her life for the ratings. She's clean and I'd go in raw dog, make her squeal like a piggy little slut and spank her with the awful book she presumably had someone else write.

Then I'd give her someone else's number and live happily with the memory for the rest of my days.

>>1975713

>implying Meghan McCain wrote a book
>BUT SHE'S LIKE A REAL INTELLEKSHUAL GUISE

>>1975713
>implying I even mentioned her height in that post

Hey man if tits and ass aren't your thing I'm sure you could join the rest of the /lit/erati and pick some wrinkled, crotchety male author to bone.

>>1975720

Reading this makes me hard. Every woman who "writes" should have this done to her.

Sasha Grey wrote a book.

>>1975720
wait till they need a cliffhanger of a season finale, then the blood test will be published

>>1975722
Just in comparison to the other two. She probably had a ghost writer too

>>1975729
I mentioned her height. No implications. Its her face that offends. What, can't you read?

>>1975741
>Being small does not make one cute

You asserted that in your response to me as if I made a claim to the contrary. I specifically mentioned her face and only now are you addressing this with your disagreeal.

But again I find it interesting that you bypass the plethora of choices involving elderly men and instead take objection to my choice of a young, well-endowed woman. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

>>1975757
Son, its a guido.

This thread is now about Snooki's butt.

>>1975775
NO!
Nicki Manaj's butt

>>1975793

Really any cheap, trashy celebrity slut who you'd like to make squeal like a piggy.

>>1975768
All the more reason to treat a lusty, amoral slut the way she deserves. I don't need some sexually repressed high-end intellectual to get my rocks off.

>>1975775
Deal

>>1975811
You're just on the wrong board.

>>1975800
ok

he's even a "writer"!

>>1975850

That's fine, whatever, but post ass.

>>1975811
That's cool dude, but one day you will realize that this type of woman is not one you want to spend time with outside of pounding the cunt.

You then will notice that only having sex with this type of woman, without spending time with them, is not a very fulfilling activity when undertaken endlessly.

You will learn its best to find one that you like to actually talk to/spend time with that you also find attractive sexually.

Or maybe not, I truthfully haven't completed this 3rd step yet.

>>1975890

>one day

>>1975896
Excuse me, but are you implying that you would want to spend time with Snooki outside of having sex with her?

>>1975939

Of course not! Are you fucking high? That one would be a total fuck 'n' dump. I'd kick that bitch out of the room and lock the door before she could get her panties back on. "Thanks, slut!"

Hey there are a lot of bad posts in this thread

>>1975959

>butthurt man feminist with no penis confirmed

>>1975983
You're right, I've shamed my whole family. Far be it from me to stop alpha dogs from writing Snooki fanfic on 4chan dot org

>>1976010

I bet you take it in the ass while dressed in pink panties don't you, faggot

>>1976012

>/lit/ at its best

>>1975948
Ok, so you are past step 1.

You will engage in step 2 for a while and at some point you will ask yourself: Could there be more than this?

The question will start very small within the back of your mind but it will grow, and you will find yourself despising the Snooki sluts because you will begin to know that there is SOMETHING out there better than her cunt.

You will probably still engage in this activity but this only incites your desire for a fulfilling relationship more intensely.

Both the the photos I have posted are of Turkish author Elif Shafak.

>>1976078

Oh, I don't doubt that you're wrong. Some sluts aren't really people and are just good for fucking and dumping in awkward places without panties (or, if you can get away with it, any pants at all!) and some women are decent and interesting. I just haven't met many of the latter.

>>1976102

I meant, I don't doubt that you're right. Brainfart, sorry.

this thread contains the only interesting conversation on all of /lit/

Words cannot begin to describe...

>>1976151

Faggot confirmed.

There is no contest. Bettany Hughes. Historian and author. Have been madly in love with her since like high school.

>>1976155

Explain.

>>1976151
she kind of looks like dave foley in drag, but dave foley made a hot woman

>>1976191

Um, right. Really don't see it.

>>1975890
So I left this thread a while ago, but you must be some kind of cocksucker.

The whole nature of this thread is purely temporary lust. It's writers you'd like to fuck, not independant women you'd like to get to know better after having several deep conversations with about the state of an existential universe and the benefits of spirituality. That'd be a really shitty acronym too.

Basically what I'm trying to convey is that you're a dildo and anyone who would try to give love advice on 4chan is trying to suck a fart out of a dick. I would rail Snooki any chance I got. Who gives a bull's dick what her personality is like in the bedroom?

I hate her writing, but I would fuck Diablo Cody's talentless brains out.

>>1976272
Have fun in your fantasy land, faggot.
Also,
>snooki
>author
pick one.

Snooki. Hahaha. Y'all are some dumbfucks.

>>1976386
This whole thread is about fantasy love affairs, I don't expect to have sex with Snooki anymore than anyone expects to fuck whoever they listed as their WILF

>youdensemotherfucker.jpg

Also, she has a book.

>>1976389
Again, this speaks volumes as to how daft you faggots are. People list authors who are either old men or 4/10 girls. The second I post a young, well-endowed slutty woman /lit/ busts a nut. You fags have to get your priorities straights unless wrinkly old man asshole is your idea of an ideal fuck.

>>1976447
So you picked a dumb shit of a woman who just so happens to have had a ghostwriter. Get over it, man. This thread is dildoes, but I'd rather fuck someone with talent, truth be told.

>some fag gets called out for having shit taste in women
>fag gets mad
>fag tries to insult other posters

cool thread, bros

>>1976447
>4/10 girls.

All I was saying was Snooki is a -4/10 girl

this guy, easily

>People list authors who are either old men or 4/10 girls.

Some of us prefer brains over looks. If they can think up fucked up shit then they must be a devil in the sack.

Why so homolust, /lit/?

Didn't you know? Reading books makes you gay. It's a scientific fact.

>>1976574
I am so jelly of him :(

>>1977089
Does this work on women?

WHY HAS NO ONE SAID EZRA POUND?

Ezra fucking Pound. And Aldous Huxley, damn.

>>1973146

Hi. My name is Eliette Abbecassis, and I think you would probably like to have sex with me...

Sylvia Plath. She's hot, and those mental women tend to be exciting in bed.

>>1977121

I want to populate planets with you!

>>1977099
people scoff at the "bisexual until graduation" phenomenon but you can't help the natural consequences of reading a lot

Marguerite Duras when she was young and before she became an actual troll.

>>1977139
Seriously, what the fuck is this?

>>1977072
agreed

>>1973124
Ok this is by far the best post in the thread.

>>1976324

You have got to be joking.

Diablo Cody has a face like a tamandua, and presumably in bed she speaks the same excruciatingly arch dialogue that she puts on the page.

"Oh my Gizzle, keep batter-dipping that frank in my honeypot, Nathan! You are totes gonna be knock-knock-knocking on the door of my Cervix Entrance in a mo!"

I want to rape Ayn Rand. She probably wants it anyway.

>>1977124
so so agreed. how can you say no to the knowing expression of hers in >>1974767