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/lit/ - Literature


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19723561 No.19723561[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

What book has most benefited you in dating and romance

>> No.19723565

>>19723561
the comment section on pornhub.com

>> No.19723569

>>19723561
Sex and Character (Otto Weininger)

>> No.19723578

>>19723569
>>19723565
im serious

>> No.19723582

>>19723578
So am I

>> No.19723588

>>19723582
ok then explain why

>> No.19723590

Wuthering Heights

>> No.19723592
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19723592

>>19723561
picrel is hands down the best book for getting a girlfren

>> No.19723598

>>19723561
Gary Chapmans Love Languages books

>> No.19723626
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19723626

>>19723588
>had a long-term relationship
>got exploited, cucked, humiliated
>went to campus, depressed
>every, and I mean every girl there is a whore
>now depressed AND disgusted
>thinking something has to be wrong with me
>why am I such a cuck, why can't I stand these whores
>start reading sex realists like Weininger
>realize it's not just my cucked perspective
>w*men really are filthy whore-beasts
>go volcel, several years now
>dating and romance solved

>> No.19723644

>>19723626
isn't be a volcel lonely. I would like to learn to live totally alone but I cannot do it. I either get resentful or sad. Only way else I have to zone out and be a robot and just program all day or something like that

>> No.19723651

>>19723644
It hurt for a year or two at most, eventually you adapt to solitude and can't even imagine dealing with w*men anymore.

>> No.19723661

>>19723651
Until you find someone that you think is perfect for you. I was a volcel for about a decade, and had no problem until I knew she existed. Now I feel alone. All the time.

>> No.19723673

>>19723651
i find it hard to believe you still don't have a biological desire to have a relationship. Do you meditate or something? Don't see how else you would overcome it

i have always been very solitary but that is one thing i cannot overcome

>> No.19723751

>>19723661
Sorry to hear that Anon, hopefully it's just a matter of time again. What I do personally is avoid w*men completely because there's nearly 100% guarantee I'd fall for one eventually.
>>19723673
Meditation, lifting 6 days a week, nightwalking, learning how to craft short stories etc.
To be honest I also cheat and use kratom 20 days a month, it pretty much kills your sex drive
>always been very solitary but that is one thing i cannot overcome
Have you ever had any longer relationship? At least one first-hand experience where you take a peek behind the curtain and see all those tricks and manipulation is a requirement for going volcel, I think, otherwise there's always tendency to look for more.

>> No.19723762
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19723762

>>19723590
Unironically came in the mail today

>> No.19723772

>>19723762
Same, hope the mailman likes it

>> No.19723780

unbearable lightness of being
lady chatterly's lover
that ancient greek text about how to pick up women

>> No.19723808

>>19723561
I remember High Fidelity (book and movie) was the first thing to really teach me that love needs to develop into more than gut feelings. Not a rare lesson, but I think that was the first time I was exposed to it. I just finished David Copperfield which addresses this as well.

>> No.19723825

>>19723751
> any longer relationship
No, maybe thats why.
Those seem like good habits though so i should probably do some stuff like that

>> No.19723828

>>19723561

s-shut up

>> No.19723847

>>19723825
All the best, bro. Just don't expect anything good from w*men.

>> No.19723873
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19723873

Are there even any women left that are worth pursuing a relationship with?

>> No.19723884
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19723884

>>19723661
You should read Cesare Pavese's This Business of Living. Emotionally speaking I think Pavese is one of the few authors who knows, very keenly, exactly how bad things really are

He went volcel and managed a solid decade or so of a splendid writing career before falling in love again with another succubus and killing himself. I avoid women for similar reasons as yourself, and that book falling into my life was like receiving a direct warning from God that love - the way I do it - will literally kill me. It put me off a pursuit I had seriously begun to consider and saved me a world of trouble.

>> No.19723886

>>19723561
The Will to Power, it makes every girl super wet

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/52914/52914-h/52914-h.htm
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/52915/52915-h/52915-h.htm

If not this, then Kaufman's.

>> No.19723890

>>19723561
Whatever book my ex and I would talk about. Don't remember don't care.

>> No.19723914

>>19723772
Lel

>> No.19723932
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19723932

Not a popular stance on /lit/ but what I found helpful was actually reading literature by women. I don't mean to be an essentialist, there are plenty of good books about romance by male authors (personally, I think Graham Greene's novels contain a lot of accurate depictions of love), but understanding what women are processing when they enter into relationships is key.

Essentially, you will never be enough. We enter into romantic relationships to try to recapture the love of the lost object (mother's affection/childhood bliss) and project all of our hopes and desires onto lovers. Ice by Anna Kavan is a wonderful depiction of this process of identification, object selection, and then eventual heartbreak. At one moment, we believe we've found the replacement for our lost love and in the next we find we are trapped in a toxic, hurtful cycle of domination and subjection.

Once we do this a couple of times and realize we won't be satiated, we develop defense mechanisms and try to be selective about our choice of partner. While this protects us, it leads us to have a distorted view of the others we're romantically vetting. Fake Accounts, Lauren Oyler's debut novel details an extreme case of this tendency, depicting a woman trying to escape heartbreak by pretending to be a different person on every date. The narcissistic narrator is ultimately revealed to be unreliable and while we get a decent understanding of her flaws and internal character, we leave the novel realizing we haven't really learned anything about who she actually dated. It gets at the heart of the egotism of dating and how these defense mechanisms we build up leave us talking past each other, precluding genuine intimacy and connection.

Ultimately, dating women will involve a fair amount of disappointment and narcissism, for both parties. I've found it is worth pushing through, there are people capable of supportive, loving relationships. But, we're by design set up to fail at the ideal of romance imposed on us by culture. Literature that grapples with this problem, particularly from a woman's perspective, helps immensely at getting how women approach dating.

>> No.19723939

>>19723762
As opposed to ironically coming in the mail today?

>> No.19723953

>>19723873
Yes, but i married her. All women, even ones who i have had pleasant, enjoyable relationships with, have been experiences i ultimately could have done without. If my wife were to leave me a widow, i wouldn't even bother with women again and would go the volcel route. They are truly a waste of good, precious time, I just somehow found one that has made the myth of a loving, enriching woman seem real.

>> No.19723972

>>19723561
Kierkegaard's Either/Or and Stages on Life's Way. The Seducer's diary and In Vino Veritas to be precise.

>> No.19724111

>>19723561
Henry James has a short story (I don’t remember the name) in which a young promising, author — who is in a relationship/engaged with a young woman — is mentored by an older author. The senior man tells him that he will be a good writer, but in order for him to be a great writer he must forsake marriage and women entirely. He follows the advice and breaks the relationship. He goes to publish his novel and be a successful writer. Later he finds out that the senior man cucked him and married his ex.
Lesson: women are indeed a waste of time (specially in the modern era) and you can only be great if you become a volcel.
Many who give this advice don’t follow it and are actually trying to cuck you.

>> No.19724194

>>19724111
>Many who give this advice don’t follow it and are actually trying to cuck you.
Actually what I should say is many men are willing to forego greatness for so much as a 4/10 and spend their best years if not their whole lives chasing them and this fact alone explains so much about the modern world that I’m not even going to begin to try.

>> No.19724200
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19724200

>>19723561
I was actually able to hear my partner and people in general rather than hurr durr barely hearing the points people are making because nobody fucking teaches this in school (how to communicate).

>> No.19724210
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19724210

>>19724200
I have a few though. This one helped me when I was single, it sounds like bs but it really is the "How to Win Friends" of flirting.

>> No.19724220

>>19723626
600! Jesus Christ.

>> No.19724232
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19724232

>>19724210
This helped me dating as well, mostly just to develop self-confidence.

>> No.19724236

>>19723561

I still don't get why Pepe has a relationship with a gender bent Link

>> No.19724240

>>19723561
bringing capitalist realism to uni parties

>> No.19724273

>>19723939
What else could I oppose it to

>> No.19724284 [DELETED] 

>>19723626
Yet another dispatch from the incel fantasy world. Meanwhile in the real world: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/8gerk4/how_many_people_did_you_sleep_with_in_college/

It's like you want the real world to be a horrible place, I don't know why. I guess it's easier than dealing with the fact you had a horrible relationship and can't bring yourself to find someone new. Stop running away from your problems and pretending it's every else's fault

>> No.19724295

>>19723626
I feel sorry for western men. I can't even imagine.

>> No.19724298

>>19723626
Yet another dispatch from the incel fantasy world. Meanwhile in the real world: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/8gerk4/how_many_people_did_you_sleep_with_in_college/

It's like you want everyone around you to be horrible, I don't know why. I guess it's easier than dealing with the fact you just happened to have a bad relationship and now can't bring yourself to find someone new. Stop running away from your problems and pretending it's everyone else's fault, it won't help anything

>> No.19724305

>>19724200

You really need a book to tell you how not to be an asshole?

>> No.19724320

>>19724305
Many people do. If it makes them a better person, there's nothing wrong with that

>> No.19724345

>>19724295
why, they did this to themselves

>> No.19724359

>>19724305
Absolutely, this is unironically why Whitehead thought the Bible caught on. It depicted the kind of selflessness of Galilean peasant manners exemplified in Christ and gradually displaced the Roman mythos that grounded ideal interhuman conduct in a rigid, hierarchical system based on tradition.

The Good Samaritan basically psyop'd the world into a more kind disposition

>> No.19724360

>>19723561
Narcissus and Goldmund. There is a part in it where a female gets turned after she witnesses Goldmund kill a man.

>> No.19724370

>>19724305
you might not understand what nonviolent communication is, it's not "don't yell at your partner". this book taught me how to hear people for the first time properly and how to clearly articulate myself for the first time in my life. i spent decades listening/talking to people and this book still changed my life. i legitimately think it should be taught to kids through health classes or something.

>> No.19724397

>>19724370
Autists. They are among us

>> No.19724415

>>19723772
kek

>> No.19724418
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19724418

>>19723884
>>19723932
>>19723751
>>19723626
>>19723569
>>19723578
>>19724111
>>19724360
This

Women not only are easily able to betray and cheat you due to their insane dating market value (atleast 10x their male equivalents), but they have no qualms about doing so, because women only truly care about one thing, excitement: This is why they prefer sociopathic abusers over decent or good men, because the excitement and thrill of feeling in danger next to him makes her wet; This is why they cheat so much, because they get accustomed to you, interpret that as "boredom" and want someone new and exciting to make her wet again. This is why they are materialistic hedonists, because that is what gives them the biggest rides of excitement, consuming and fucking constantly

You can be an altruistic 6'3 handsome millionaire with a big dick, and you still risk getting cheated on with a sociopathic 6'7 handsome billionaire with a huge dick like Elon Musk and Bill Gates, just because they're hotter, meaner and richer than you; Even if you're a kinder, more virtuous person, even if you treat her better, even if you have closer interests to her... it doesn't matter because women want excitement and only excitement

There is literally no winning with women as a man, if you try and seriously engage with them you will always come out losing and being screwed over due to how immensely skewed social rules are in their favor. The only victory you can have is becoming celibate and not interacting with them outside professional situations; Then you will generally have the advantage over women, as your greater drive and creative intellect allow you to beat the vast, vast majority of them in competitive environments

Captcha: DHRM4

>> No.19724428

>>19724418
you're retarded, and i hope you read a book someday

>> No.19724437
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19724437

>>19724418
Excellent post

>> No.19724446

>>19724418
Cope. Women are perfectly nice (at least, as much as men are). You're just unattractive so you find it easier to live in a universe where you're persecuted and women are awful, because otherwise you'd have to admit there's something out there that you want but can't have. Do you know the fable of the fox and the grapes?

>> No.19724695

>>19723561
I don’t date and I have less than no interest in romance.

>> No.19724729

>>19724111
>>19723873
>>19723626
>>19723561

You are all obligated to reproduce because high functioning neurotics have better genes than brown orcs and normgroids. We need more thoughtful people in the world

>> No.19724754

>>19724418

Elon Musk & Bill Gates are both unironically autistic. It's funny that normgroids dominate the shitter trench but all the super high elo chads are at least slightly autistic or schizo

>> No.19724820
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19724820

>>19723561

>> No.19724879

>>19724194
>Actually what I should say is many men are willing to forego greatness for so much as a 4/10 and spend their best years if not their whole lives chasing them
Accurate. And it's even worse when the 4/10 rejects you. This makes a man wanna play the blues.

>> No.19724896

>>19724879
Yep, the balance of power is so much in there favor today where even a 4/10 can act like a stuck up bitch that doesn't even want to give you the time of day.

>> No.19724939

>>19723561
Models by Mark Manson is the best and only book you need to get hot clit.

>> No.19724945

>>19724896
>even a 4/10 can act like a stuck up bitch that doesn't even want to give you the time of day.
She said she's not in this moment in her life. She said she just wanna be by herself and she's not interested in relationships.
She said she just wanna study and focus on her carrer, she said "let's just be friends".
She was quite gentle though, even in her dismissal. She was so polite and sweet.
She wished me luck. I didn't feel any bitterness from her part. She seems like a pretty decent person actually.
I think this time I really fucked up talking dirty bullshit, bros.

>> No.19724948

I don’t know why you guys gotta be so bitter about everything.

>> No.19724966

>>19724945
If you're thinking I hit on women, or approach them with pick up lines, you're a retard. I'm dead serious whenever I say I've approached women no different than a man to ask them about something that humans talk about in society, and they were snobbish and standoffish as if they've had men hit on them time after time, and they didn't look like the type of woman that would have experienced that.

>> No.19724974

>>19724948
It does seem to be a bit of a contradiction. If the type of behavior alluded to in this thread is natural to women, as many say it is, being angry about it is like being angry at a dog for chasing its tail. If they aren't inherently like this, then hope remains and many could be good people.

>> No.19725054

>>19724948
It's hard not to be bitter

>> No.19725056
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19725056

>>19724418

allow me to respond to glib offhand notions of redpill constructs. Hopefully the last post I'll ever make about the subject. Because I know there are those who will shrug off the post after reading the numbers themselves, I will not post them, however maybe those just refuse to accept it. I am very tall and have a very large penis. I am still a virgin, you want to know why? Because these measurements don't mean anything. I'm not ugly but not attractive or obese either.
Although there is some truth to there being an "ideal seductive character", I find it seriously evasive to the pressing issue at hand. I'm a virgin approaching my 30s because I am mentally violent, essentially schizophrenic and although I am perfectly able to make small talk in public, I simply cannot access whatever is the neccessary feat to go forward or be recepted. This pressing issue, which I bring to light in the feint hopes that anons give up le stoic man parade and focus their real attention to is the fact that there are no "night-life" places where I wouldn't be a stranger, in this case you adapt or die. It is not about women, who frankly will adapt to the zeitgeist so long as it remains the strongest. The pressing issue, I am attracted to women. Hating them would be counter-intuitive. I am attracted to bookish women. I cannot find them anywhere outside of university gone by. Whenever I talk to these women they vanish. The question isn't "what/why are women", it's "where are women". (disclaimer: I do not consider Tinder women to be women) If you were 7ft tall and had a 10ft cock, you'd be walking around all the same, going "where are the women?"

>> No.19725068

>>19723561
How to be alone forever by anon

>> No.19725156

>>19723561
Berserk