/lit/ - Literature

i will start. i am back home briefly and i am very sick with a throat cold, and i’ve been really emotionally raw for the past month or so and sleeping in the room i lost my little sister in hurts so much that i’ve been dreaming about her every night. i woke up at 4:00 to get tea and haven’t gone back to bed. i want to hug my mom but i don’t want her to get sick. i can hear my mom listening to “you are my sunshine” in her bedroom right now.

it is so fucking strange that I am alive. I have so many people to rage against. I am so fucked. It will all work out, providence and all that, I don't really doubt that at all, I just... I suspect that before you can even forgive someone you need to know properly what the fuck it is you're feeling. And I feel like my brain, in the way and name of God, is portioning that all out at a slow, really I should say tender pace. Today I have some contact with the rage. I pray God protects me from terrible mistakes.

mi nueva novia es un amor. Es lo más dulce que he tenido, es todo lo que busco encerrado en un cuerpo que no me atrae. Quiero que me odie para no ser yo quien termine con todo esto, quiero dejarle de atraer, quiero que se aburra de mí. Ella necesita de alguien que la ame, alguien a su nivel que le dé lo que aceptación; en mí solo va a encontrar un cadáver, un cascarón vacío que nunca la va a amar. No es mi tipo. Los pelos de su cuerpo me asquean, su lengua me da arcadas, sus manos horribles me hacen querer correr, sus sentimientos son los más puros, sus intenciones también. Me entristece que alguien así haya tenido que sufrir tanto y no quieros ser otra de esas cusas. La odio y la quiero en misma cantidad. Tengo miedo de herirla pero más miedo me da seguir en esto.

>sit at hairdresser getting a haircut
>think that its like a dead man getting a haircut for an open casket funeral
even a new style cant hide dead man eyes

>>19618039
me levanto en medio de la noche al borde del colapso queriendo llorar (no puedo llorar) no onions capaz de decirle cuanto la odio, que desearía no haberla conocido, que ojalá muriera (ella o yo, da igual con tal de no estar juntos.)
Recuerdo cuando se sentó en mi mano en el bus camino a casa, sin querer mis dedos terminaron bajo su falda, el calor se sentía magnífico, más aún el contraste con mis manos frías. La besé y terminé con los dedos en su interior, no más nos detuvo el hueco al que el puto chofer tuvo que caer. Sin duda me atrae sexualmente su falta de experiencia, la maldita cree que mojarse es venirse y que gemir es un orgasmo. Ojalá pudiera cogérmela y que desapareciera pero no onions capaz de hacerle eso, la destrozaría; más desearía que fuera la misma persona y no tuviese cuerpo porque es lo único que me detiene de amarla; si fuese solo una idea sería perfecta. Maldito destino, maldito yo, un perro sin consuelo. Si veo a otra mujer me voy detrás de ella, lo siento May pero para mí nunca es demasiado tarde para dejar las cosas así, y prefiero hacerlo ahora que más tarde cuando duela más.

>>19618039
De cuanto tiempo has estado con ella? No estas enamorado. Si es asi, no te importatia
su apariencia. Estas solo encaprichado.

>>19618039
De cuanto tiempo has estado con ella? No estas enamorado. Si es asi, no te importatia su apariencia. Estas solo encaprichado.

>>19618080
>onions
kek. Fucking filter, I always forget it exists.

>>19618087
definitivamente no estoy enamorado. Llevamos un mes, no somos novios oficialmente pero ella sí me llama así frente a su familia.

>>19617934
Please what? You forgot to link them

Old thread >>19611235

Theme? I like Klimt

Thread soundtrack? https://youtu.be/Jy65bnNwXZY

>>19618088
spanish bugman Descartes:
"I think therefore I STARWARS"

should I read latin classics in one of the romance languages I know because it's closer or in english?

God's semenal seminal children artificially impregnate the minds of fools and what for do they act when above clouds drawn with pus rain madness on the women of the world who when the clock strikes the bowling pins and needles injecting plague rats. no further did i have to look then at once and or maybe twice plucked feathers foreboding the collapse of schizophrenic vaginal walls

Don't try to tell me what to read nigga, period. Get that ass banned, don't give me tips nigga you're a nobody. How about I give you fags a protip? What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna flop my BBC on this thread so your mom fucking invites me over for dinner. You gonna see a big piece of beef on the motherfucking table. I'mma tell you to go in the kitchen and get all the motherfucking seasoning you got. I need you to get the garlic salt, I need you to get the motherfucking seasoning salt while my BBC sits there on the table and you just see it pulsating like a moving limb that's been taken out of a motherfucking cow. I'm just gonna stare you and tell you "keep seasoning! keep seasoning my meat!" over and over again keep seasoning nigga I'mma pull out my motherfucking floppy BBC out of the table and I'mma take that BBC it's going straight into your mom's mouth while I keep staring at you and I'mma be like "suck it in front of your son!" and she's gonna start going back and forth back and forth like a chicken with her head only that's the reading tip that I'll give you, covered in seasoning salt, you dumbass nigga. What about a tip, nigga you're a fucking nobody.

If I had the option of having a women who loved me and being ugly or none and being handsome I would choose being handsome.

>>19618454
you're a fool

>>19618454
Based
Imagine wanting to be loved, might as well be a woman.

Just finished watching Kill List. Fucking great. Ben Wheatley is one of the best directors working right now

Has anybody here lived in the desert for a prolonged period of time? It might sound strange but i feel the Sahara calling me, seducing me into leaving my comfy cave of NEETdom, and experiencing life. I am somewhat close to it geographically, and most of the people i've met from that region tend to be very warm.
I was thinking about forestanon's advice on leaving for the wilderness as an option for those who are suicidal. I wish i could live in the beautiful green mountains surrounding us here, but because of terrorist activity it's not really doable nowadays. A damned shame. So the desert is the only option i have left. I can't afford to go for an adventure abroad, so kyrgyzstan and the like are out of the question. Maybe someday. Maybe becoming a truck driver is a good option. Drexciya did that for a living, and he was a pretty significant artist.
Any desertbros here to share their experiences?

>tfw the pills aren't working anymore
i thought i was gonna make it. i know this is my final rodeo but i thought it would last longer. i want to go to the sea at night and swim out until i sink.

Is neuroticism the sign of potential?

I wanna write historical fiction but that requires research

>>19618674
make it all up. voila, now you are a fantasy author.

>>19618663
Yes but only the very very few make it

>>19618619
Bull rides are measured in seconds. Seems a shame, but I know what you mean. Better this than measuring out life in coffee spoons, right? Right?

Can I name my book "Southern Gothic"?
It just has that ring of a good title

What to do with low psychic energy? I am impressed by nothing, my affection is flat, nothing is of much interest to me, I have no impulses, no intense emotions, no drive to do anything more than absolutely necessary, everything is the same. I have a job, a girl, friends and family, still I feel indifferent and lazy. Could it be that I have schizophrenia or something alike?

>>19619088
Why?

i moved too quickly or something and now my upper back is in a tremendous amount of pain. this is unbearable. someone please help

>>19618674
That's the fun part!

>>19619363
please. someone suggest something. this hurts so much. i dont know what i did

>>19619390
How sharp is the pain? If it's really bad get medical help asap

I have prepared a spectacle for christmas. I like being distanced from my audience. I will not be going home, so this will be a digital spectacle. It's a good distance.

Whenever I am in an emotionally disquieted state I always have the strangest and gothic of dreams.

>A small boy falls through a broken sewer grating and gets caught . I pull him up and out. His parents thank me.

> I am digging through rubble as if in search of survivors. I find an oddly preserved grotto in which there is a dreary Victorian era room with an ornate bed. Two women, resembling embalmed corpses are supine upon it as lying in state. As I wonder if they are alive, one turns her head and vomits a little. They both stand up, thankful to be rescued.

it’s facts! We have so little confidence that all we can do is keep ourselves afloat by distributing ever more facts.
It sounds scientific, but Im thinking of culture here. Why is it that whenever you see people discussing the arts, the high arts, it boils down to someone listing , detail after detail as though reading out an instruction manual. We teach the arts as though that is all they are, a science . To listen to someone discuss a Gothic church or a Renaissance painting is to subject yourself to a history lesson; ‘This was painted by so and so, in the year such and such,’ ‘these are the materials used for the pigment, and here is the biblical background for it’s theme,’ ‘let us now turn to the biographical circumstance of the author, his finance, his management of his estate, his faith, his age, his interest in fine dinning … etc, etc’
what about this is art, and why do we explain it so technically? After all, no one would talk this way about, say, a sunset. No one would think it relevant to inform you about the rate of its hydrogen release or lecture you on the particulars of wavelength's or the bending of light. Sure, these things can improve ones existing appreciation but to lead with it would doubtless bore of all but the most technically minded people.

>>19619454
This has all been rhetorical since I think I know the answer. In truth, democracy is at fault. Unsure of their own authority and lacking the confidence to defend their preference our teachers have resorted to showing off their degree’s, since in truth, in their heart of hearts, they themselves cant justify their love. And who can blame em, how would I go about explaining Bellini to a tourist? Needing to excite the public – for without them what are the arts – they have turned to the cheapest of all tricks.
Nothing about the composition of paint will tell you why Titians late Pieta is a masterpiece. Knowing his age , and ailing health would help, but in truth you either see it or you dont. And that is the difficulty here. Knowledge can improve appreciation, but can it birth it? Can I teach a tone deaf child to enjoy music though focusing on nothing but it’s technical aspects? And if yes, is that enjoyment that different from mine? I like to think so, but maybe thats just vanity.

>no longer enjoy fiction, skimread it miserably for prose styling
>only read history and theology, including theology of gods i dont even believe in
is this the end of the /lit/ journey?

>>19619538
the end of /lit/ journey is
stopping to read altogether

>>19619273
Because it makes life unnecessarily hard and thus filters out everyone but the most capable.
The benefits is that you’re a control freak with some added assertiveness (or comes over as such) so if you have a drive you can really push it far.
Look at some people in history who were neurotic (or praised people in your field).
However if you are neurotic I would recommend to find a way to stop it, isn’t worth it and only hinders you in the end desu

>>19619466
>truth, democracy is at fault.
???

I got a reading chair today! Usually I read pacing the room or lying flat on my bed, so I'm excited to have a dedicated reading chair

>>19619562
Absolutely obnoxious to be around. The way a neurotic person moves is unbearable.

>>19619112
Only thing we can hope for is to have borne the inevitable suffering of life with some small measure of grace. By and large we will likely be weak and fail whatever standards we may set but it is to be hoped that a little crest of our legacy will take the shape of our occasional success. If others swim in my wake I hope they find the waters more amiable than I.

>>19619562
>I would recommend to find a way to stop it
I wish I could.

I'm having objectively the saddest Christmas ever.

>>19618539
>simping obliterated
>trannies vexxed

mission accomplished

>>19618511
I guess I mean a girlfriend then

aural perfection

>>19619405
pretty sharp, its like right below the neck. i was on discord laughing with my friends and then i guess i moved quickly and now its like ive broken my whole body. this is unbearable

I want to fuck you, have four children or more but it’s just a fantasy and I shouldn’t get too riled up about it.

>>19619729
Is it superficial? Can you still feel things and move?
Draw the area where it hurts on an image.

is feeling giddy as a man a bad thing?

>>19619756
i can feel things and move. i did some stretches and took some muscle relaxers and i feel a bit better but its still a strange pain that spawned randomly

Filipino twinks.

>>19619820
yes
https://i.4cdn.org/lgbt/1640232003719.jpg

>>19619832
no

I'm shocked by how hard quitting nicotine is for me. I'm a weak man, and this drives it home with a creeping anxiety and reminder that the lack of brain fog reflects a lack of ground for said fog.

>>19619812
Nothing to worry about. Maybe a short muscle spasm/cramp or a little tear. Will heal on its own make sure to keep moving despite the pain.
Go to your doc if you cannot feel things in that area or lose muscle control.

>>19619605
Nice buy anon. Which chair?

>>19619605
i’m excited for you anon! enjoy your comfy reads

I am sanctimonious.

>>19619605
Now all you need is a bookwheel

>>19618674
The trick is to just blatantly copy some obscure story you find while researching

>>19619757
no.

>>19617939
oh christ

>>19618278
butterfly giving anon who's grieving his dead little sister a hard time
you love to see it

The last 3 years have been a total waste. A worthwhile person would’ve been working hard at something, anything.

>>19619984
Shut the fuck up, get off 4chan and make the next 3 years a total success.

>>19619963
shes truly lost all her morals. shes been extremely mean recently. i just dont get it. an anon loses their little sister and you have the audacity to pull something like this.
you should be ashamed of yourself butters.

i have 8 dollars in my steam account and the totally not-christmas-related winter sale is on, recommend me sth good

>>19620050
Terraria

Rocky IV

>>19618604
no experiences but God bless.

Why do I keep going to /tv/ and /lit/ and expecting serious, deep discussions on film and literature? What the fuck is wrong with me?

>>19620050
hotline miami

Kierkegaard is going to make me a christian.

>>19619744
this desu senpai

>>19620050
just play hollow knight, it's incredible

>>19620111
Same reason I still check up on /his/ hoping to see actually interesting historical debate, because we're retards anon

I am, at this time, not unhappy.

I read A Christmas Carol for the first time and its great

When I'm this sad all there is for me is to sleep. Drink in the oblivion until at last finally a good day comes.

Six years have gone by, and I don't have a single happy memory. Everything is bittersweet. (If not straight up painful, that is.) At some point in the past, I had ambitions but I betrayed all of them, or failed while pursuing them. It's so cruel to bring people into this world.

>>19619893
I found one of those Ikea poang chairs with really nice cushion for a good price online and decided to pick it up; they're one of the only chairs I've tried that actually has that lower back support so it doesn't hurt when you sit for more than a couple hours

>>19619902
Thanks anon, here's to many hours of comfy reading

>>19619926
need to find a way to rig a bookwheel up to the ceiling so I can pull it down in front of me when I sit down

whats the archive site for lit, like desuarchive is for fit etc

>>19620650
warosu

>>19620650
Warosu has some archives going all the way back to March 2010 (two months after the board was created) but I don't know if they're complete or what
Archived.moe goes back to 2015 but doesn't save images
Wakarimasen is much newer (going back to 2020) but seems really complete and saves full images

>>19617934
I can only imagine myself as either an artist or a criminal.

I’m 33 but look very young with boyish good looks and I get hit on by teen girls all the time. Some groups even hang outside of my apartment. A couple hours ago a set of parents knocked on my door and made a big scene. I’m sweating a little bit now, ngl

>>19620675
Hope you go to prison where you belong

>>19620536
10 years ago feels like just yesterday
things are just not getting better

I'm coughing too much but less than i was a week ago, getting out of a cold always feels weird because you're stumbling back into your standard mode of operation, but sense memory's too short term to seriously remember what the standard mode even was, maybe it's because i'm forgetful and fat

I just read flowers for algernon and i'm more convinced than ever that the anti-intellectuals are 100% correct, intelligence makes you a worse person, i've spent my entire life trying to gain more knowledge and all it's brought me is a mountain of tidbits and 20 years of ignoring people in the vain belief that if i just learned enough i'd never have to learn how to speak to people, i'm egotistical and even thinking about it makes me feel more egotistical, because i'm self obsessed.

>>19617934
I need to write. These ideas have been torturing for months. For some reason, I get depressed and extremely neurotic when I don't write.

>>19617939
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your sister. I pray for your health, anon.

>>19620123
blessed

The sounds of cars and planes in the background of life has begun making me anxious. It makes me feel like I'm wasting my life, the world moving and moving and moving at a breakneck speed leaving me behind. Almost like hearing the sounds of a party thrown by a neighbor you weren't invited to while you sit alone in a room. I think that's why I stay up so late, once the sounds subside I don't feel like I'm wasting my life.
It's funny because only a few years ago I was "in it", I even was ahead most of the time. I'm only 24 and now I feel like it all flew past me. Went through a hermit phase starting at age 20 and I fell so far behind I don't think I will ever catch up. Another scrap of the machine

I broke my no-sugar streak today for the first time in weeks. Chocolate tastes pretty good, but my desire for it isn't really strong anymore. I think I can quit it for good now.

Addictions are a weird thing. For some people, even 10 years after they quit smoking, having just one is enough to send them spiraling back down. But after I quit soda, I can now have one and it's no big deal. It looks like sugar will be the same for me. Have some when I want it, but I can unironically quit whenever I want.

>>19618080
todo lo de esta vida pronto ha de pasar. ánimo, que poco nos queda ya a todos.

winter break is so comfy

I've been listening to the same album on loop for more than 2 weeks straight now. it's clearly audible in the hallway of my apartment building. hopefully my neighbors will be driven insane and kill themselves. i will not stop listening to the album.

>>19617934
I havent quite figured out yet why Im not that much into most movies. They just portray reality in a linear, tunnel vision. Its like the director is forcing his pathology or lack of contrasts onto me. I cant really relate to that. I get that a movie has to visualize a narrative and maybe thats the actual problem, maybe I dont trust story telling

Long posts incoming:
>be me
>be 9 or 10 years old
>be fat shy ugly kid who plays runescape all day
>have older female cousin, must have been about 17-18 at the time
>she was about 7/10
>she'd come over once every week or two along with my aunt and her family
>she was always very kind and tender with me which made me like her (not sexually at first)
>it got to the point where, when she'd first see me after coming over, she'd come over and give me a very deep and long hug, lasting about half a minute
>she would always "force" hug me
>as in I'd pretend I didn't want to be hugged, and she'd force the hug anyway
>when she'd approach me, she would always laugh and joke about "Anon, I'm gonna give you a hug whether you like it or not!"
>Only realize now when writing it down how animelike it seems, but it really did happen this way
>when she did finally have me in her grasp, she always went very quiet
>i went very quiet too
>only when I got older did I realize that we were always alone in the room when this would happen
>these hugs caused me to have my sexual awakening early and I developed an obsession with her
>had early onset puberty, by 11 years old I was the only one in my class with facial hair (sideburns) and was having wet dreams about her on a regular basis
>never watched or cared about porn or other girls, didn't even masturbate, only ever thought about her ALL the time
>I wanted to serve her forever
>I was a clumsy kid, she taught me how to play catch which developed my hand-eye coordination
>still think about her whenever I hold a baseball
>she built up my confidence
>she'd pirate whatever movies I wanted to watch like the kids next door movie
>she'd chat with me on msn messenger late at night (this was when I was even younger though, maybe 7 or 8)
>she seemed genuinely interested in me and my wellbeing
>one day, after our regular hug, which, especially if i was sitting down, was more like freeze-frame clothed sex than it was a hug, she went and sat down on sofa across from me, giving me a self-assured sadistic smile
>"anon..." she motioned me
>I get up and dutifully approach her
>she puts out her hand
>"kiss my hand."
>I thought I was dreaming, I froze up for a bit
>Every fiber in my body was telling me to take her hand and start kissing it solemnly and passionately like she were my queen
>my pride was telling me not to do it
>somehow rouse myself
>refuse
>she looks like she loses interest
>gets up and leaves
>she never hugged me or talked to me again after that aside from a quick hi
>I eventually stop thinking about her and start thinking about other girls

1/3

>>19621261
I eventually lost weight and as my features grew out I developed into a very good-looking guy who’d get attention from girls, but my early experience with my cousin left a very deep impression on me. I always saw myself as submissive and subdued when it came to girls, and I would always carry out their wants and desires to the detriment of mine, i.e. go out wherever they wanted, spend my money on them, dress well so they could show me off to their friends, watch the movies they like, cook for them, dot over them, etc. Of course, to my disappointment, they’d all eventually leave because they thought I was “too boring.” Only my female cousin ever knew how to really give and take with me. I tried giving femdom porn a go but it never really scratched the itch and porn has always disgusted me so I gave it up. Now my sexuality is sort of in a stasis. Eventually my female cousin got married, to a bald, fat, short manlet no less, whom she moved to Australia with because of his work, though he wasn’t very rich. I was surprised she married someone so bald, short, and fat, when she could do much better, but then it dawned on me that I was also a short and fat kid when she targeted me. I sometimes overhear conversations between my mom and dad regarding her, about how domineering she is over her husband, and how he can barely take a breath without her approval. Piecing it together, its clear that she’s the kind of woman who always wants to have power over the people around her, and its easier when they’re weak, which is why she married him, and why she targeted me. There’s also some clues that she manipulated her mother and grandmother into doing and saying some things that they didn’t want to do or say, which are too long to elaborate on.

2/3

>open youtube video
>adblock stopped working for some reason
>video will play in 15 seconds
>fat lumpy-headed asian woman and mr. bojangles: hipster goatee edition start trying to wiseecrack their way into my wallet
>joke's on them, their hammock-workplace "cool boss" Mr. Rothstein's cousin, Mr. Rothstein, already emptied it today
>can't even figure out what they're trying to sell me because it's like watching three marvels movies and an episode of friends someone spilled tar on at once
>ad ends
>oh good another ad
>frumpy mulatta complaining about how reading is hard
>i see
>Skip Ad
>actual video starts
>mushmouthed hispanic finally gets to point of his own video 95 seconds in
>"like um"
>"ackshully"
>"lidrully"
>turn video off somewhere around "where as to this card being good dough guyzzz dis is actually a real good card dough like ackshully dough this may be pretty much the best card on da market pretty much like lidrully"
>2.1 million views

>>19621261
>>19621263
She hit 30 this year and has two very demanding autistic kids now, but she has never drank or partied or did any drugs, so she’s aged very well and still looks like she’s in her early-mid 20s. This past week I’ve been finding myself thinking about her again and its bothering me. I think she wronged me by altering my sexuality from its natural course so much and toying with me like that only for her own gratification and affirmation. She knew I was an awkward and socially isolated kid so I’d be a very easy target for her little games. She had no right to subject me to any of that. She knew I never had any recourse but to do what she wanted and it was a miracle I was able to break free from it. But in my heart of hearts, I regret it. I regret breaking away from her hand and not kissing it passionately, I regret not telling her that I’d follow her to the ends of the earth, or that I’d die a thousand deaths for her. I regret not telling her how madly in love with her I was, or how I didn’t want to live in a world where she didn’t have absolute power and control over me. I regret that I didn’t serve her the way she wanted me to, that I didn’t become her devoted slave, that I didn’t give my life over into her hands, that I didn’t even sacrifice anything irrevocable for her sake, so that I could make her happy seeing how much authority she had over my heart. She emotionally raped me and bound me to her in a way that I’d never be able to truly break free from, and I can’t and have never told anyone about what she did to me. The more I hate her, the more I love her. I can’t even see her anymore. It hurts bros.

Have any anons gone through anything similar?

3/3

pretty sure i'm actually an anime character

>>19621270
That's pretty crazy. I think the emotional experiences you have with family members before adolescence are some of the most intense relationships you'll ever have and kind of lay the groundwork for how you operate for the rest of your life. I had a hot older cousin too, but we were never that close and she shackled down young to a cop, had a kid, and that was that.

>so she’s aged very well and still looks like she’s in her early-mid 20s
I have this theory that people you meet when you're really young kinda age with you so that it feels like they mostly stay the same age over time. It's weird to look back at old yearbook photos of classmates you had as a kid and seeing how tiny they were, when to kid you they felt like full sized people.

>>19620123
Well he's certainly not going to make you a woman.

>>19620110
thank you brother

>>19621318
>I think the emotional experiences you have with family members before adolescence are some of the most intense relationships you'll ever have and kind of lay the groundwork for how you operate for the rest of your life.
Yeah that's true. I actually had another female cousin around my age who I became enamored with too shortly after, and she was an angel in every sense of the word. Every other woman I deal with I end up placing within a spectrum between those two female cousins of mine, I generally avoid those who are closer character-wise to the older cousin and pursue those closer to the younger.

>>19620668
What kind of criminal?

https://youtu.be/QMiQGz73iiQ

>>19621431
one of his best albums. i miss him so much

Tiktok is my curse. I keep downloading and deleting it back and forth, over and over again. How do I escape its seduction? My one fetish in life has always been dancing women, especially dancing romanian/turkish/syrian women, and that goddamned app is their HQ. Even hardcore porn doesn't get me twisted like this. Fuck.

What internet communities do you guys use other than 4chan? I sometimes enjoy the slatestarcodex community and hacker news, but not that much, could really use a good internet community if such a thing exists

I want a cute vampire gf. She could nibble on my neck while we cuddle.

>>19619545
Precisely. I will not pick up a book until I have some money. All these years feel like a waste and bow I just look down and skip over conversations when this or that philosopher or historical event is brought up.

>>19621452
Just don't download it? I honestly question your intelligence if such trash is seductive to you.

>>19619963
>anon who's grieving his dead little sister
What??

i'm so happy that i can get to listen to my favorite air conditioner noise, for ten hours uninterrupted, thanks to the internet. i might feel like i'm complete garbage one minute, but this little aural blanket genuinely helps me get shit done and feel better after putting it on.
>>19621558
i often lurk turntable.fm and queup, they're very comfy corners of the net and ive made a good number of friends there over the years.
this might be surprising but omegle has also been a fantastic social experience for me. a lot of profound conversations have encountered me there, and i try to compile and save them as much as i can. you'd think that lying would be the first thing to do on an anonymous website, yet i've never seen people be so open about their inner selves and genuinely try to help complete stranger despite being a single click away from discarding them without any consequences. it's fascinating. you just have to use the right tags, and filter out the obvious dead ends.
a pro wrestling forum sometimes.
i tend to visit this old french forum that i cherished immensely during my childhood and adolescence (it used to be the frog equivalent of 4channel, i'm sure there's people who are familiar with it here) out of nostalgia and a little sense of allegiance, but it's just a sad shell of its former self. censorship and twatterfag infestation has led to it drowning in a pool of black pus. it offers nothing of value anymore.
i'd love to find a good community dedicated to talking in depth about film with enthusiasm and good faith, but i have yet to find anything of this nature. maybe private trackers are the best spot for this.

I should have taken more consideration for my dental health from an early age. In these times where everything is full of sugar and other shit, it has had some effect on my teeth. Though not it's not completely gone I can see the decay coming soon. If you're reading this and it's not too late, build the good habit of taking care of your teeth. It's worth it.

>>19621597
Its not sugar its bacteria. Dentists do mouth bacteria tests now.
Unfortunately the bacteria do like sugar.

>>19621597
it's all cool, dude. some scientist in japan is working on a way for humans to regrow their teeth, either just the enamel or the whole entire thing. wagmi
t. eagerly awaiting this treatment to become available and will spend tens of thousands of dollars on it

Mum died a few years ago and I'm getting a bit of a resurgence of grief. Cried a bit but I'm in the process of teaching myself how to control my emotions and I could RETVRN to myself. Feels good man.

>>19622033
Been there.
The Joan Didion thread reminded me of her Year of Magical Thinking. You might need to read it

>>19622033
I'm sorry anon, God bless you and your mom. Not trying to be pushy religious, I just wanted to say it and not just think it.

I am going to do more outward directed metta prayer.

>>19621234
What's the album?

The Great Cataclysm approaches. It is a strange sort of tragedy to be born into the end times, in this era between the golden age of humanity and the collapse. CO2 levels continue to rise. Al-Masih ad-Dajjal will awaken soon, for the end times are here.

>>19622163
Johnny Clegg & Savuka - Cruel Crazy Beautiful World

>>19619820
<3
Absolutely based. Some of my favorite twinks are Southeastern Asian. Love Cambodian and Thai twinks.

WHY CAN'T I FUCKING CONTROL MYSELF

>>19622167
>LE END OF THE WORLD
>Muslim vernacular
That's very good, you should kill yourself before it all ends you fucking dog.

>>19622222
Nigger

>>19619605
based and saved

>>19621234
they are calling him the most based man alive

Every day I simp for Deleuze so hard... I have developed an autistic obsession for 1000 plateaus... I simp for Deleuze...

Man whenever I hear discourse surrounding this book it's just so bad.

>>19622348
DUDE UHHH THE SPECTACLE, MAN!!

>>19622353
spectate my dick in ur mouth u filthy slut

>>19622359
Ok daddy :3

No ERP allowed

I find it weird when people complain about the multitude of streaming services these days. Specifically, I hear this argument a lot: "I was happy to stop pirating when Netflix gave me a competitive product at a cheap price, but now that there are so many services I am going back to torrenting." What I find weird about it is 1) their willingness to pay for something that they could get for free so long as it is affordable 2) their total willingness to support a monopoly so long as its convenient, 3) their completely unrealistic expectations about how markets work.

I am not defending any of those streaming services by the way. Fuck that shit and fuck the brain rotting TV shows they have on their anyway. My point is that you should have never abandoned pirating in the first place.

>>19622377
Are you gonna punish me 0_o

Is the end game of language - become completely genderless where anything could mean everything?

>>19622488
No it's the epic next level of language and you have been filtered

>>19622488
>"Genderless" language means anything could mean everything
These two factors don't linguistically correlate. There are plenty of "genderless" languages already, Anglofag.

>>19622488
language has nothing to do with gender.
If you can impregnate women, you're a dude
if you can give birth, you're a woman.
Learning a language doesn't unlock pregnancy

>>19617934
I'm tired of politics, or at least online politics. It's all reducible to believing in or doing the opposite of whichever groups you dislike the most. That is to say only usually reaction. The anarchist asserts that all authority is oppressive, the state a tool for the privileged, not truly neutral etc etc. In response the liberal glibly accepts and champions all forms of (liberal) authority as good, objective, neutral, whatever. So if the anarchist say the CIA is imperialist, then the liberal will turn around and argue that the CIA is perfect &, irrespective of context, was always right to overthrow other regimes. Or a more familiar example on this site hating on anything redditors like... It's all so boring and vapid.

>>19622551
Cringe as fuck post, just say gender is defined by biological sex and go. I know you're trying to be witty and clever but so many women can't give birth and so many men can't impregnate women, that your little definition here is "man is a featherless biped tier". Don't try to sound creative.

>>19622587
*biped" tier.

>>19622587
lmao

How do I turn this snow off its making my browser run like shit

>>19622599
The snow is fucking with my autistic sensory overload :((((

This is my main board even though i hardly read
>>19622599
Change style at the bottom of the page

>>19622785
>This is my main board even though i hardly read
now that's not so good bro

Merry Christmas to everybody who reads this, ESPECIALLY YOU! None of us will ever know how special this board is and has been to us all until, God forbid, we lose it. May that never happen, and may the shitposting last a thousand years.

Every one of you is special and I bet most of the people who read this post have taught me something or made me laugh at some point in our times here. Even the lurkers who never post or who are scared to post. Merry Christmas to you too!

I’ve never texted a girl before to directly approach her out of romantic interest. When I see how guys DM girls I honestly find it cringy and I’m shocked how it works on a lot of girls. I want to approach someone for the first time but I don’t want to seem cringe and obnoxious; at the same time being cringe and obnoxious tends to impress girls today somehow

>>19622831
I hate it here fuck you

>>19622889
stop thinking about what other people think or how what you are doing looks or seems. Do it for the sake of doing it and you'll be fine. If it doesn't work out at least you'll have some experience

God I hate the Christimas theme

>>19622889
Just bee urself :)
Srs tho i get suicidal when i think of all the oppertunity i wasted in my youth, and now my hair’s almost gone and i’m still a virgin

>>19621594
The OP you fucking asshole. The OP lost his little sister and you had the audacity to give him shit about the thread(which is fine by the way)

>>19621594
1st post

>>19622222
Who'd knew <3 replier would also have such good tastes. Also, checked.

I want to whine in math general on sci about how stupid i am but thats the only good corner of 4chan so i will leave my shitpost here instead. I wish i were smarter

>>19622587
>cringe as fuck
go and stay go zoomernigger

>>19617939
Hey anon I'm really sorry for your loss. It will get easier but only in time.
>>19618004
God bless anon

The thought of 2-3 years of intense foreskin streching just to slightly improve but still be worse off than an uncut guy, all the while also being an incel. Pain

>>19617934
I love my parrot. He keeps me company. Attempting to find a purpose. Lonely, haven't socialized outside for about 3 years or so... Friends that I have left don't really care about me. Too bad. Good results from excercising. Drawing robots and mechs and they look cool. I wish I had a more interesting hobby...

>>19622587
women who can't give birth and men who can't impregnate lose something great and vital,
there's a tragic sense of loss and shame for a reason there.
Choir boys who cut their balls off to sing higher were never seen as "complete men".
It's not meant to be a "clever analogy."
Although men get away with no being able to cum properly because bachelors usually have lots of other things going on whereas women don't have much outside the family unit going into old age historically.

>>19617939
I swear there's nothing bleaker than bedtime songs played for the gone and lost,
try not to tire yourself out with it anon

>>19623594
Imagine thinking it's still 2010 and people don't say the word cringe on 4chan

>>19623739
Nice fantasies, biological sex (gender) is defined by chromosomes and genitalia, that is all. Gender is not defined by whether you decide to have a family or whether you are fertile. This objective definition of gender does not take into account what YOU subjectively consider to be a man or not a man within your fanfic universe. So you think gender depends on what you do in life, not what you were born with? Are you a tranny?

>>19623739
I don't want to have children but I don't feel a tragic sense of loss and shame and I don't feel incomplete either. What gender am I, king?

Does anyone drink here?

How are you supposed to cope with the fact that, as shitty as /lit/ is, its still the best hobby board on this entire site

>>19623872
or on the internet

>>19623865
Of course. Got a bit out of hand lately, me ’n my somewhat only proper friend have been doing 1 zoom call per week (living in different countries), his dream is to be able to taste all alcoholic beverages in the whole world.
He’s suffering in Humanities PhD—so there’s a certain alcoholism to it as well.
Anyhow I took up a bit of his enthusiasm lately, we ordered some stuff to taste "together" on vid call. Got a nice bottle of 140 proof Absinthe… Whisky, Mezcal, some spirits… fortunately I actually find drinking boring sometimes, since one can’t think so straight anymore. Hope this will keep me from sinking into too heavy consumption.

>>19623497
>>19623504
All it says is “write what’s on your mind” and “please”, anons.

>>19623757
if you read my post quite the opposite,
a capital M-man impregnates, a capital W-woman has a baby,
in later years both genders become diminished and less bold as systems fail, often women first but since the function of woman is also beyond the birth, prolonged. Not complex.

>>19623872
This is me. I hate you all from the bottom of my heart, I disagree with all of you and your politics, I think you guys are such faggots but this board is like crack to me. It's too fun.

>sometimes feel like i might be developmentally/mentally retarded
>know i'm head and shoulders above normalfags in both measures
>tested IQ in the 130s
>still feel cringe and dumb all the time
>will roll on the floor screaming remembering something unfathomably dumb i did just a few years ago
what do

>>19623937
>capital M-man
>capital W-woman
Look at this nigga making up a bunch of new genders. I've never heard of these genders faggot.

>>19623937
>a capital M-man impregnates, a capital W-woman has a baby
No you are not MORE OF A MAN if you impregnate somebody or more of a woman for that matter, that is just what you personally believe and it is your fucking opinion. Your opinion sucks and I fucked your mother.

>>19623947
it's called man and woman you turbo tard

I hate work.

>>19623623
2-3 years wtf? You must have some extreme case because I solved it after a couple months of stretching, cleaning, fapping. Looking back though it wasnt too bad but still bad enough to make my first blowjob painful and have to be cut short.

>>19624024
I used phimorings and did this for a while but it was such a chore and now it's gone back to how it was. Might just see a doctor and accept the cut is inevitable. I'm fed up of turning down sex or not meeting up with people out of embarrassment.

I have realized three things about ideology and politics. From least to most important:

1. Applying the ideologies of the past, such as monarchism, fascism, communism, etc. to our present lives is doomed to failure. Only with extensive modification are these ideologies useful.

2. Most people generally don't care about ideology at all. Twitter is wrong. Even amongst zoomers, the proportion of the population supporting communism and the like is very low. Even amongst Muslims, Islamists are in the minority. Most people just want to be happy and have their needs met, and have some luxuries to indulge in.

3. It is not ideology, or class conflict, or fighting over resources which is the driver behind world history. World history has two motivators, two drivers: firstly, ecological conditions, and secondly, technological development. So much of history is a reaction to shifts in ecological conditions. As for technological development, that is self-evident.

With these three realizations, I think it becomes clear that two understand politics and history, learning about ideologies is pointless, or to be more charitable, studying the effects instead of the cause. Instead, to understand history one must learn the natural history of the world over the past 10,000 years or so, and one must learn all they can about technology.<span class="fortune" style="color:#11ec7f">

Your fortune: Your heart is two sizes too small.[/spoiler]

>>19623929
You are a fucking disgrace

i'm having obsessive compulsive thoughts and i'm seething at how backwards american copyright law is and my teeth hurt

>>19623865
yeah

Today I woke up in the middle of the night and in my disoriented drowse began thinking about myself and my place in the world. I ran over the entire course of human history from our creation to the present day, picturing mankind's transition from savagery to civilisation. I thought about the discovery of fire; the invention of tools for agriculture; metallurgy; trade; weaponry; numbers and arithmetic; coinage; industry; the development of the alphabet. Then came the various great empires and great men: Kings, Popes, dictators, artists, intellectuals, emperors, all merely representatives of the faceless masses. In the midst of all this I pictured myself, lying pathetically in my bed like a writhing worm, totally insignificant. All my worries and desires and vices seemed ridiculous, repugnant even. It was like I was viewing myself from another's vantage-point, and laughing at myself.

I wish I could maintain this state of mind forever, so that I would not be afraid to be truly myself. But unfortunately quotidian life kicks in, and the usual habits and worries make themselves known again.

i'm about to lose it

>>19624244
i know i can kill

>>19624158
You’re a worthless troll

dude my new macbook pro with apple silicon is faster than my pc which has an 850 watt power supply and sounds like a hair dryer. the macbook is plugged in to a 60 watt usb-c cable. i haven't seen anything this next level since the first time i installed a 3dfx video card in my pentium pc and played half-life with hardware acceleration turned on. oh and the 120hz screen with wide gamut, bruh

>>19624149
>Your fortune: Your heart is two sizes too small.
not since the myocarditis kicked in after my last booster! now my heart is inflamed and enlarged!

>>19624287
>iToddler

>>19624293
when you grow up you'll appreciate unix workstations

I requisition all morality and command all bile. I am stranded and locked in a dungeon. This subterranean attitude is the product of evil forces acting upon me, this noble scholar serving as a feast for alien wills.
The victim of every battle and the target of all calumny, I survive in bitter protest against the false judge who presides. That warped and swarthy countenance, unused to storms of sorrow, glares down upon us Northmen with a tongue of evil lies.


It is apt to perfection that such a magnanimous countenance as that of my stock should be bowed in ceaseless torture. That rightful and intrepid ruler now evinces nought but pain.

>Depends

that's my conclusion to every arguement after all these shit I see. DEPENDS. Black or white? Depends.
Also, I feel numb. No happiness at first, thought it was depression, stupid I was; now sadness fades away too, just numb with anger, like a timebomb(from time to time.G

>>19624244
what's the situation anon

The worst part about my affliction is that it does not express itself in an external way. I am not starving to death; no warlord is at my door waiting to rape my mother and cut my tongue out. There is no battle to contend with, no massive soul-hardening challenge I must put up with. It's just a slow, subtle, life-draining disease which is always present but only rarely overwhelms me; a disease which makes me listless and afraid of people, and drains all enthusiasm for life. The worst part is I don't even know what will fix it, what will make me happy and interested in life. Friendship? Love? I haven't had a friend since I was 12 years old, and I haven't said more than a sentence to a woman since then either. i don't even know what it would feel like to be happy because of friendship or love. And I am so afraid of everybody that I cannot say hello without becoming red-faced. What's the point in even trying?

My generation was the first to grow up with modern technology. Consequently I belong to a new kind of social outcast, never before seen in history. Before, the extent of social alienation was regulated by the necessity for face-to-face interaction; social outcasts like myself would, through the sheer force of loneliness, have to come out and talk with others. But the internet made it possible for social outcasts to retreat into online activity which would mimic social interaction and thus temporarily soften the blow of loneliness. It allowed us to keep living in fear of others, so long as we had our internet buddies to offer us some specious comfort.

Thanos was right.

I have lost my old ipod charger
this is a development.

>have four different catalog tabs up playing All I Want For Christmas Is You at different points of the song
I'm feeling pretty funky

>>19621558
I enjoy KC/int/ sometimes. iq89 but very wholesome.

>>19623865
About a dozen bottles of port this quarter.

>>19623946
Seems to be a common phenomenon, pic related.
It’s certainly the same for me as well.
I think the trouble is that with "high iq" or just an appearance of giftedness… from early in your childhood and youth… adults give you the impression that this is what makes you valuable. Being "good." So then you obsess with doing things the right way, thinking 1-X steps further than the normies, whatever. You focus on your prowess, it’s what gives you a sense of worth. And you judge others harshly for their mistakes, because that is what your worth rests on, being good, being better.
But then of course you end up being just as critical and judgemental towards yourself, if not more. Every mistake a dent in your own worth. I think there’s a lot of people out there who don’t care at all about making mistakes. It is hard for me to imagine how that attitude even feels like…
What tends to ease the pain for me is to mentally let go of all the other people. I realize that what really tortures me is that pressure: Everyone must acknowledge my worth. But I HATE everyone. Why the hell do I actually care? When I take my mind down this route, it’s sometimes a way out.
What my therapist says: "When that inner voice appears and starts critizicing you for irrelevant things, just tell it to fuck off. Literally, say: 'Fuck off, no matter what I do, you will not be content. Stop pestering me.'" I think I haven’t used this technique much, but what definitely helped me was to get this perspective: It’s not really "me" but rather just a specific part inside the brain which is so hypercritical. I don’t have to accept its opinion neccessarily.
The other day I read something about an enhanced AI design. They literally added a "critic" to the AI’s architecture, a kind of seperate module. I can easily imagine that it’s somewhat like that in our brain as well. Literally different modules that make up what we take as "us." And they all have their use, for sure. Just when the critic gets too strong, we must work to make it weaker, so we have room to breathe and to act. It’s just not productive otherwise.

I lost my sneeze button. I had a spot inside my nose that made me sneeze when pressed. It doesn't work anymore. I feel a bit disturbed by this, like I've lost a part of myse;f

>>19624530
Looks like $5 on ebay
I still have mine

>>19624592
We are not machines. We change over time all the time. Maybe it’s just inflamed or covered in mucus. Haha

I got cucked four years back and I think everyone thinks I'm a loser because of it. Even though I cucked some guy just a week after it. It's a real cucking and bulling fest in this country. I dont want to get cucked again might just need to jump off a building

>>19624623
Just acquire a cuckold fetish bro, it solves all your problems in this sphere. Alternatively, get a loyal gf.

>>19624560
>because that is what your worth rests on, being good, being better.
>But then of course you end up being just as critical and judgemental towards yourself, if not more.
tfw

i can't feel shit, like literally several bad events happened to me during this year and i didn't feel anything

>>19624623
It’s just swinging. Don’t take it so seriously and/or leave it behind as a phase.

I was a third wheel twice in my life, and its just okay fun. I felt bad afterwards because they remained a couple (for however long, I donno) and I remained single. (Well over it now)

>>19624652
Same to a degree.

>>19624611
I do hope it's temporary. being able to sneeze whenever I wanted to felt somewhat special. sneezing really is refreshing

>>19624652
Strength or numb apathy. Use it, work your way back to being more empathetic. Don’t panic.

I had a dream I was back in middle school. God I wish I could live that again

>>19624668
I am not a fan of how you so merrily trivialize the hardships of others, acting like you're being empathetic and helpful while you give a semblance of advice that feels borderline insulting to the advisee.
That being said, merry christmas butterfly

>>19624652
Same here. I realised it when my mother called me to announce our dogs death. When I closed the phone I burst into tears for like a minute. Then nothing, apathy, numb, I was worried and scared that I didn't feel sadness and this dog was my favourite creature on earth, we were brothers.
Firstly I couldn't feel happiness and now...sadness? It feels great sometimes desu.

>>19624682
I don’t merrily trivialize the hardships of others. The accusation made ITT is trolling nonsense.
Other occasions I bite back at people who regularly smear and threaten me. Anonymous gives himself free reign to behave as callous and insincere as he wants, but holds me to fantasy and rumors he starts.
Oi Saturnalia.

When will I accept that longing for love is truly a masked longing for being worthy of love. I do not want guys, I want to be the type of person that guys desire.
Though the people I admire really are something, I have a peculiar taste;
My love is unavoidable, defeated and tired. It is over before the emotion even started, yet still me of its existence in unexpected moments of a smile, typescript code, warm soup. It is everything I respect and would not get, it will fade eventually into the past.
Hard work and icy sky are the only tangible things nowadays. Surprisingly, they are enough.

>>19622831
Merry Christmas anon. This is one of the few places where I interact with other humans.

Frankly, I am not proud of myself for using 4chan, nor do I enjoy it that much.
Today I caught myself thinking of anons as "those retards", but not in a derogatory way. No, it was more of a tender "those retards", like what you might call a group of mates you've known since you were but a wee lad, a "those retards" that acknowledges the flaws the retards have, but still fully accept them.
I don't care much for politics, and the constant shilling of political ideas and endless strife between rival ideologies are the bread and butter of discussion here. I am aware that I could find much better intellectual stimulation elsewhere. I am aware that the extremist ideas and the defeatist /r9k/ mindset that so many of you guys perpetrate is actively working against my interest and yet I still come here, attracted by some strange magnetic pull like cold hands to a slightly-too-hot radiator. I like you guys

>>19624727
Err, what? I'm afraid I don't understand your rebuttal

>>19623929
>>19624283
you truly are spineless and souless. the guy lost his little sister butters. have some self awareness and accountability.

How can I make money off my writing? It is the only thing I'm good at, and I'm nearly broke.

>>19619871
>>19619812
>>19619756
>>19619729
>>19619405
>>19619390
>>19619363
update: it is now just a tremendous amount of pain in the back of my neck. it truly is unbearable but more than anything im just amazed that something like this could happen. one minute i was laughing. then seconds later my back seemingly snapped and now my body is experiencing hell. i feel like im 1000 years old

>>19624811
If it's been like this for a day you should really get it checked

>>19624738
Good post. I feel pretty much the same.

I don’t merrily trivialize the hardships of others. Happy Saturnalia. The original holiday and the reason the christians decided to put Christmas here and not on some other more likely date.

>>19624774
If you don’t link to the comment regarding this, you are a spineless and soulless troll

>>19624796
Ask around. A lot. It’s worse than dating.
Good luck.

>>19624811
Everything will be alright but go see a doctor as soon as you can if it doesn't pass.

>>19624832
OPs image directly corresponds to the loss of a loved one.
No one is trolling you butters. That's the OP and you did something extraordinarily inappropriate and out of line. Have some class for fucks sake. What kind of people raised you?

>>19624811
You might want to lay down if you can. Take as much strain off your neck and back as possible.
Once you feel back to normal, look into fixing your posture. This kind of stuff can happen if you're hunched over a desk too much

>>19624812
>>19624860
enh idk. i really think i just pulled something. i was going to abuse muscle relaxers all day but im drinking later so i cant

I'm about to finish a major on an academic field and it seems like the only option going forward will be working there. The problem is that I am a fraud, I have never cheated but I feel like I haven't learnt anything, barely read at all, and I'm at the top of my class. I don't know what's going to become of me.

>>19624878
i slouch sometimes but in recent years ive drastically improved my posture because teachers always warned me of back pains later in life from slouching. but i do slouch at my desk a lot so that is what caused it probably

>>19624921
It's highly unlikely that everyone who appears to be competent at what he does is actually good. Most people simply pretend to be good. You're going to do just fine, anon. The fact that you are feeling like an impostor can even be a push to make you work harder and make you smarter.

>>19624871
>directly corresponds
What does this mean? Where’s the link? Where’s the words that say any of that? “Corresponds” it corresponds nothing but the word “please!”.
Extraordinarily inappropriate and inaccurate post, anon.

>>19624663
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BAD IT PAINEDDDD YOU STUPID CUNT. IT BURNT MY CHEST INTERNALLY.

>>19624623
With women you always lose.

>>19624960
That actually helps me feel a little better. It's just that all my professors or most of them are such wells of knowledge that I feel like I could never measure up. Like, if the endgoal is being similar to them I don't know how I'll get there, but I am certain I fall incredibly short right now.

This christmas theme makes this site virtually unusable.

>>19624971
You are fucking disgusting. Think on what you have done you ugly hag

I cant understand how girls can watch princess Disney movies then become massive whores

i'm fucking loving christmas eve this is the comfiest christmas in ages probably because the semester was so hellish with masks and a never ending stream of helpeless zoomers now i'm stocked up on food planning to just chill inside for the next 36 hours might watch some movies on criterion might play some video games might just shitpost for hours doesn't matter whatever it is it will be comfy

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there

>>19625238
Please don't engage with Butters. She is senile.

>>19625209
turn it off

>>19624921
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Merry Christmas Eve. Can someone tell me what they honestly think of this song I am writing?
https://vocaroo.com/1nIIdZcYWjgS

Yesterday I liked it but tonight I feel that it's depressing, pretentious, and hollow. I need honest feedback.

>>19625316
Don’t you see they’re trolling
Oh is it that you have me blocked?

>>19617934
somebody please read my words. my. thoughts. don't. mean. anything. unless. someone. else. knows. how. meaningful. they. are.

>>19625483
it sounds like something i would listen to. it sounds like a mix of a lot of things. it sounds new. i don't know enough about music to offer any criticism

>>19617934
I will ask my crush out.

You know, fuck you, I cannot fucking read shit written in epic poem style. this shit is trash. the rhyming obsession is cringe and they spend more time trying to be poetic than they do saying anything worth saying.

fuck this and fuck you all. modern novel format is the greatest literary invention and EVERYTHING else is shit, ESPECIALLY epic poetry. plays are shit. poems are shit. you are shit.

me and everyone else is a pseud and the gods grow quieter every day

>>19625626
Try to uncrush some before you do it.
Good luck.

>>19625465
I've considered that, but I just look around here and realize how under read I am in comparison with the anons who are pursuing a career in Academia.

>>19625653
We're all larpers here. I post about communist thought all the time and I've never been able to read Marx. He's just so boring.

>>19625653
Impostor syndrome is crap made up by pseuds because the truth is that NOBODY is what they think they are. EVERYBODY is an impostor. Nobody actually knows everything they appear they know. Our true selves are always poor facsimiles of who we really are. I can easily hold long conversations about hundreds of authors I've never read. Maybe when I'm 80 years old I'll actually know all that I'm able to talk about. It's the same for everyone. Especially in Academia where nobody reads half of what they cite. We all adopt identities that we barely fit. A person reads one books and starts to consider themself a reader, a kid does his math homework without hating it and then tells everyone he likes math... we do one thing and reform our entire identity around it, inexorable aspect of social existence

>>19625674
>of who we really are.
of how we think of ourselves and present ourselves to others*

>>19625674
but let me add, it's because that kid decided he liked math that he becomes a mathematician and it's because we consider ourselves a reader and go around telling everyone we read and talk to other people about books like we know what we're talking about that we actually do go on to read books and actually become someone who reads. but time is slow

i will soon perish and face my very own death, sooner than expected. i will achieve nothing great in this life; mocking my existence to the very end.

>>19625708
Don’t worry; long is the list of forgotten deeds and names but contributing what you did, will give meaning to the universe.
You’ve played your part in the great work. I don’t agree with Christianity but the saying; ‘ashes to ashes, dust to dust’ always gives me peace when confronted with the thoughts of being forgotten.

Christmas Eve, the day loneliness confronts you with a sucker punch and I fall for it every year.

>>19625591
Thank you. I will persist with it.

>>19617934
Recently I've started to become very cynical and egoistic and I like it because it feels like that's how it should be. But It still feels somewhat strange realizing this inner transformation, because it is like I can't reach the final form in its deep. I guess that's because of my nihilistic tendentions which influence my worldview so it seems like nothing really matters and even if I place myself into egoistical positions that still doesn't make any sense. I guess it's called pessimism.

Wearing a hoodie rn. I like it, it makes me feel, for lack of a better word, breedable :)


>>19617934
Make the next WWOYM thread with a Christmas OP pls

Cosmogramma by Flying Lotus just saved my fucking night. Merry Christmas, /lit/

>>19624623
>I got cucked
>I cucked some guy

why ever live your life like this, self-created torture

Do you think you have an obligation to maintain relationships with family no matter what?

>>19620050
Rain World

>>19626628
NO MATTER WHAT is something that may be untenable, but the attitude of cutting off family over every little thing you see everywhere these days is just sad

>>19623668
Say hello to your parrot for me

>>19626628
I feel like because people in my generation no longer have children early, or at all, they easily miss the point of family, and readily neglect family ties. MOST fellow millennials I meet are single, or are dating and "don't believe" in marriage, or are married and don't want kids. And then they wonder why their relationships with the parents are awkward, and slowly they stop showing up to family gatherings "because they're boring."
You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You can't cut out your bloodline, and expect to reap the benefits of family without contributing. The selfish child-like relationship to family exhausts itself by the time you're thirty. Your family will never see you as grown until you have children and get married.
You know why your father didn't spend his thirties having a "crisis of meaning and aimlessness"? It's because he was raising kids. I swear millennials are fucked, and especially given that it seems like 1/5 of them are gay (impotent).

>>19626650
I think I may need to cut mine off because they insist on trying to mock me.

>>19626695
Things will stay fucked until a generation or two after Zoomers.

>>19626696
i really cant assess the situation from here but consider if its just banter, or there really is something wrong with you worth addressing, or if they are seriously just being scumbags

>>19626709
It is just banter, and I’ll admit that the bigger problem here is a certain personal self image, but being around people who would belittle or mock me, joking or otherwise, when I don’t want that is a problem for me.

I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. The very act of me being here and spilling my guts to an anonymous stranger on this bizarre website is an action done by someone who deserves mockery to be quite honest.

>>19626735
everyone needs someone to talk to. all i can really tell you is that you probably just need to do something that will make you feel more confident in general, which will render this sort of stuff much more impotent and you can cope with it or possibly even work with it. I dont know what will make you more confident in yourself but try working out if you dont, I found that confidence in my physical ability/appearance often translated into psychological confidence, whereas feeling sickly leads to all sorts of anxiety and insecurities.

It's oddly fascinating how "Waldun" is just so, so bad at everything he does. I don't know if the guy is capable of any actual creativity. Everything he puts out is just awkward and poorly worded, wrapped up in his favorite pseudo-academic trappings, the point of which is to boost his self-image as an aesthete, and as some sort of intellectual. It's a Dunning-Kruger show. I swear his next move is going to be smoking a pipe, for which he'll put out a video: "On the Gentlemanly Pleasure of Pipe Tobacco", where he'll talk awkwardly about how tobacco "stimulates the intellect". The intro of the video will have some stupid kinetic typography, and will "tastefully" start by a match lighting in the darkness, as if that's not the most obvious choice you can make. Of course he will speak in an affected way and will have nothing of substance to say, and it will sound like plagiarism. Can't you see it?

I don't know what to call it. It's gives me this sick feeling. It's like Waldun gentrified his own personality.

>>19626777
just wait until you realize all of youtube is like this for their own topics. remember that indian dude who had that trending ai channel but had to quit when it turned out he just ripped off everything from random ppl's githubs lmao

>>19626786
I see this a lot with female YouTubers anyway. The content of each video seems almost inconsequential. The real content is always hidden in plain view: it's the "lifestyle". It's like the craft channels aren't actually about step-by-step guides on how to make Christmas ornaments. They're about the effect you feel from watching someone live an artsy and quirky lifestyle. Oh, she wears tastefully tattered overalls, oh look at the cute chair she always uses, how much of a free spirit she is. She has to casually mention the kind of tea she's drinking. It's fucking weird. These YTers are actually gathering priceless data about what people really want.

>>19626758
I’m just very dissatisfied with all this.

onions<span class="fortune" style="color:#53fc2d">

Your fortune: Bah! Humbug.[/spoiler]

>>19626695
I've been thinking about this a lot as I'm approaching my 30s. My parents would never admit it and likely don't even think it, but I've failed to hold up my end of the bargain. Assuming you have decent parents, there's nothing you can realistically do to pay them back for raising you (maybe if you escape a life of poverty and can set them up in luxury then you can, but that's not the situation for most). So what do you do? Pay it forward by having kids and giving them the best life possible and then they would presumably do the same. Or, to think of it in a less cynical way, your parents have been brought great happiness and fulfillment through having kids (not the case for everyone, but for most) and they want the same for you.

Finished my third consecutive mad men watch in like 3/2 months a few days ago and i feel like i have to wait a bit to start over, but falling asleep to mad men is the only thing that distracts me from getting extremely depressed, especially near bed time, falling asleep without it is almost unbearable. What happens if i go on this way, what happens after my tenth rewatch, after my 30th rewatch?

How do I cope with the fact that I'll never be a kid again

>>19626695
It sounds son out of touch. I haven’t met a woman in 3 years, let alone had a date. Any talk about brining grandkids around family is totally useless to me at this juncture. You treat it’s just entirely free will, like you can manifest a woman and a child out of thin air.

I need to go back to drawing again so I can gain attention from anonymous-senpai.
Also, Merry Christmas!

<span class="fortune" style="color:#2dfc53">

Your fortune: Your heart grew three sizes![/spoiler]

>>19626695
Why should i feel guilt over my parents bringing me into a world where i can’t attract a mate or find happiness due to the ugly balding manlet genes and negligent upbrining they bestowed upon me? You write as if i was offered a loving wife and decided to turn it down because i just enjoy browsing 4chan so much. I’ve put in plenty of effort and done a lot more than most my age wrt things within my control, but i lost the dice roll on damn near everything left up to fortune or my parents. This is to some extent the case for most young men who don’t go down the traditional wife and kids path ime

>>19626943
Guilt? No one ever said guilt. You're projecting.

I need to figure out something to do for the next two years if I’m going to do this.

I desperately want to marry my girlfriend but we won't have the money to have children and a home for at least 3 more years. I want to hold onto her for the rest of my life, there's so much stress hanging over my head.

Merry christmas /lit/ friends

gather round anons for a story
>"The Man Who Shot Himself On Christmas Day"

Snowfall rained down from outside his tiny flat window. The neighbours had just got news, it was positive, she was going to be a mother. He could hear this through the cheap nature of his walls, if they could be considered as such. He remembered the smile he had received, requited as he did, spending his last years attempting to smile whenever he was outside, making sure to dress well... as he did. It was the closest moment he had to a life of normalcy. The local grocers were his make-shift friends, made of habit and he always remembered to say one more sentence than usual to the person serving his cappucino at the coffee house. He couldn’t bear the loneliness anymore. Gerald Gerberson was 42. 15 years older than he thought he would ever be. When he pulled the trigger off his rifle, presents landed from the back of his head on to a red, ragged carpet, and some came unwrapped to reveal LEGO sets from years gone by, Hot Wheels and plushie whales. His cold, limp penis turned into a candy cane and girls from around the neighbourhood suddenly felt compelled to knock on his door as if there were a new found variation of Trick or Treat. Blood pouring out his left nostril turned into Dr Pepper, a reputable soda in comparison to most others. As his body slumped down from the wall and into a huddle. Wiggers, chavs, thugs, whores, all collapsed in a 100 mile radius and turned into salted pretzels. It took them 27 days to find the body. Newspapers reported that the area he once lived in was now one of the most beautiful in the world. Couples would find love at first sight whilst strolling the town. Cars vanished from the sidewalks, the churches never saw such a great attendance, families which seemed to be falling apart became formidable clans, unemployment rates were almost non-existent, all the jobs previously done by machines were now by skilled craftsman. Ever since that man took his own life not one Chinese ship of goods had sailed to his town. The final pieces of fat that dripped his rotting corpse were some of the last fat the place had ever seen, ruddy, toned bodies and women in sundresses were strewn about and inescapable, so much so that it would appear that old age had also shot itself. None of the civilians seemed aware of what had transpired. When the paramedics arrived due to an odour complaint, they noticed the bizarre foot sticking out of Gerald's colon. It was Gerald's carcass at 13 years of age. Of all the presents that were dug out from the man’s skull, beneath his all-in-one IKEA tree, one remained untouched for centuries, inside, a letter, “I wish…”

our government really has a sense of humour about all this covid business

>>19624935
Update 2: everything is ok now. I drank with my cousins and now my neck and back are feeling 98% better. I feel that everything will be ok by tommorow. Its still crazy that something like this can happen but whatever. All is well now. Cheers everyone

some Christmas reading
https://orthochristian.com/58527.html

Nobody talking about the leaked Houellebecq novel? It's on libgen

>>19624971
They're trolling you with their exaggerated responses, but are you legit too stupid to read the first post in thread?

>>19627303
>another incelplotation work
yawn

>>19627303
Hold on give me 10 minutes to learn french and read this whole ass book

>>19627414
https://www.deepl.com/translator

i keep cumming in my sleep

>>19621595
>turntable
interesting, I never used it but I used to use plugdj which was fun, I remember there were rooms anons made.. back in like 2013 or whatever. good times. turntable looks very similar, seems like plug was a knockoff of it after it went down or something. are there private rooms and stuff? any from here?

Just out of curiosity, how many people here are vegan? (By vegan i mean the moral stance against hurting animals, so not for health or environmental concerns)

I keep having dreams about being back in school. Which I figure is common, but for me at this point In my life right now it holds a special significance. I Fight with this desire to return to the innocence of youth which again is a common feeling but for me who was sexually abused for many years it is especially strong. I feel in a way disconnect from my younger self while I still have this strong desire to reconnect to as well, and I don't know what will resolve this desire. Maybe having a kid, but that's impossible no woman will want me. I need some way to resolve this desire

>>19627157
Why do people keep complying. My opinion of the state and democratic institutions has worsened considerably over the last two years. Just end me already, I do not know how to come back from this.

>>19627529
Crickets

>>19627529
Not many, people would rather be hypocrites.
I'm trying to find as clear a way to minimize human suffering, additionally.

I want a girlfriend

New thread when ready
>>19628486
>>19628486
>>19628486

>>19628448
First, love yourself
Second, practice meeting and befriending others
Third, find your direction
Fourth, ask those that catch your eye blithely and boldly, right away.

All of that requires us to give the computer addiction.
https://youtu.be/U3p65M2C1rk

>>19628515
*give up the computer addiction

>>19625635
I don't usually say this, but UNBELIEVABLY FILTERED

>>19618039
>>19618080
Creo que todos hemos estado en una situación parecida y encuentro dos palabras al respecto: La primera es que trates de quedarte con ella, a veces pasa el tiempo y ella sí que te termina atrayendo y todo queda bien. La segunda, y esto es sí estás realmente decidido a botarla, es que usualmente las chicas medias feas suelen ser tremendamente cariñosas: sal un día con ella y con sus amigos (dile que los quieres conocer) y comportarte con absoluta frialdad, así ella se empezará a percatar de que lo suyo no es correspondido y ella decidirá terminar; si te sientes muy presionado siempre puedes dejar de ser un cobarde y decirle de frentón que no quieres seguir con ella, he ahí tú.