/lit/ - Literature

>>19611235
I want to sniff her tights

>>19611235
i want to sniff her pits and taint after she has finished a 5 mile jog

city is probably closing down tommorow so my frienbds and i went to the bar and drank loike its the end of the world. having friends is nice. anyways. thats all over now. its the end of the line i guess. it all goes downhill from here. who knows what will happen. if it gets rough enough i might break my sobriey and smoke some weed. i disposed of all the weed in my room but it could probably find some if i really tried. anyways. we'll see what happens. goodnight
https://youtu.be/b_yI7OpjQsY

Life seems like an endless balancing act. I’m trying my best to ignore my fears and strive towards what I want instead of letting opportunities pass me by, but it’s hard to be present in the moment. Most days it’s like I’m living on autopilot.
I’m also going bald from stress once again. Don’t know if my hair will be able to bounce back from it a second time.

Remember some day you will forget
Or you will forget to remember

>>19611480
Praying for you anon.

Mommy i’m so cold, i can’t take any more, i want to go home
Please

What's the best way to make up for doing something terrible to someone close to you?
I only see her when I go home for the holidays, and things are usually fine with her, much more than I thought they would be considering what I did, but I get this nagging feeling that the consequences of my actions have only just begun to manifest even if it has been years since I did it. I get this anxiety when I think about it - what if her whole life was permanently altered by this? what if I damaged her in some way that won't be visible until it's too late? - and there's really nothing I can do to assail those fears. Every word she says and action she takes I repeat in my head over and over, trying to figure out if it's some subtle sign that because of me, she's started down a dark path in life and I'll be powerless to do anything about it, or like I shouldn't even try to since it seems like all I've ever managed to do was hurt her.
I thought about killing myself out of guilt. I can't get away from it - it's always in the back of my head, telling me that no matter what successes I might find in life, what friendships I might make, what joy I might have, I don't deserve any of it and by all rights ought to deliberately prevent myself from being happy or finding fulfillment.

old >>19602453

this website is such a waste of time full of mentally ill dejects and pretentious underages

>>19611700
bunch of melodramatic pussies on this board who act like their life is so bad because they're bored
i pray for the opportunity to just launch a roundhouse at one of your heads one day

>>19611700
>>19611707
Behold, two faggots

>>19611700
it's marginally better than other boards though
>>19611707
I inherited my mother's depressive autism gene, difference is she had rich parents and a chad husband to take care of her her and even then she's still mostly a miss

Regretting almost everything I’ve done for the last 10 years

>>19611235
I'm not gay, but this male friend of mine has such an erotic voice that it makes my heart flutter whenever he speaks. It is a sort of heavy, hoarse voice that makes me want to listen to him all day. His immaculate grammar and extensive vocab just adds to the effect.
I want to fuck him, not gay though.

I am insanely unfulfilled in my life and I have no idea what to do about it
I am spiraling into suicide levels of depression as we speak

>>19611707
It’s almost impossible for an online person today to be bored, that’s not my problem at all. My problem is i have no love in my life, no source of joy, nothing to live for at all

>>19611799
Just be yourself.

>>19611235
As a gay man, it hurts to see how easily women can punch up to get the most angelic looking of straight dudes. OPs pic rel

Seen some of the most unremarkable holes snatching men that look like they are from myth

There are an astonishing number of left-wing groups in the third world which profess to following Marxism-Leninism and at the same time want an independent nation for their people/culture. Can any of the communists here explain? Doesn't this fly in the face of internationalism?

>>19611235
I want to sniff her hair

hey that's pete campbell's electroshock amnesiac mistress from mad men!

>>19611906
I can’t watch mad men anymore
>waahh i’m extremely handsome and rich and adored but i’m still sad
>waaah i was born with a silver spoon and have a good job and an extremely loving beautiful forgiving tradwife but i’m still sad
>wahhh i lost my virginity when i was young to a beautiful woman, how traumatising
i want to see a show about a completely unloved incel loser who got molested by a fat old man

I think that when my time comes I would like to die on my birthday. Which coincidentally is tomorrow.

>>19612030
The lesson is that money, a wife, looks etc is all meaningless if you pursue them for the wrong reasons - which is a lesson that all incels really need to hear. Don is spiritually an incel even if he's not an incel in practice.

I fuck things up with people through texting way too often. You'd think someone who writes as much as I do would not. Think before you text. Or don't text at all. Unless you know the person really well, and have interacted with them in person often, say the absolute minimum without coming across as unresponsive and don't overshare. Never say anything too personal or revealing. Save that for in person. And don't risk a joke or comment that requires any sort of implicit nuance or tone of voice or body language or context to interpreted as intended.

Always say very little because texting is a horrible form of communication which should never have become as predominant as it has. The more you say, the larger the surface area over which you can be misconstrued.

I cannot stick to any of my goals because my life is so empty that instant gratification is all I have, and constant demoralization makes me even more dependent and makes it impossible to ignore, and I will never fill my life and defeat demoralization until I start achieving my goals

>>19611707
When are you allowed, objectively by your criteria, say your life is bad?

>>19612118
That's good advice. Another lesson I've learned the hard way is that less is more when it comes to managing things you think you fucked up. "Yo about what I said just before you left, what I really meant was .." is awful for a hundred reasons just by itself, but normies in particular find it as jarring as taking a shit in your pants in front of them. Don't try to autistically control how you are received by others if you aren't aware of the probably bigger waves you are creating by trying to autistically control everything.

Also learn to monitor your own manic states. Just because you feel sincere in your neuroticism doesn't mean it comes across that way to others. If you are just babbling endlessly and oversharing, even if you're right or valid in some technical sense, chances are you're freaking normalfags out.

Learning self-control is a lifelong quest and unfortunately the world is currently so harsh on neurotic men that a lot of neurotic men think it's a virtue to triple down on being neurotic. You don't have to hate yourself or even hate your offbeatness and quirkiness to know how to wield your quirks strategically. Don't ever send a manic follow-up text or email. If you must, wait as long as you possibly can, leave it for hours and come back to it. Don't do it when you're still in that zone of agonizing over trying to control the outcome.

>>19611700
it's still one of the best boards.
/tv/ is pure capeshit drivel
/mu/ is hypebeast anonymous
/fa/ is full of sneakerheads and one watch thread
/ic/ is non-stop negativity
the graphic design ones are empty of life, don't know /hs/ don't know /ck/
/lit/ actually discusses books, the /lit/ meme's aren't that bad and the worst posts here are cross-board shit

>>19612058
>money, a wife, looks etc is all meaningless if you pursue them for the wrong reasons
t. pseud

>>19612137
>"Yo about what I said just before you left, what I really meant was .." is awful for a hundred reasons just by itself, but normies in particular find it as jarring as taking a shit in your pants in front of them.
Wrong.
> Don't try to autistically control how you are received by others
Correct.
> If you are just babbling endlessly and oversharing,
Tautology meaningless statement.
> Don't ever send a manic follow-up text or email. If you must, wait as long as you possibly can, leave it for hours and come back to it.
Correct.

>people say that I might be narcissist
>have low self-worth
>be a loser
I dont get it

>>19612030
the only reason Mad Men isn't Sopranos tier is because Pete is a much better written protagonist than Don and even his character's conclusion feels more like genuine pathos.

>>19612175
Narcissism can cover a lot of things. The typical grandiose narcissist you think of when you use "narcissist" colloquially is only one type of narcissist according to standard clinical definitions. There are people who would be diagnosed narcissistic but who see and present themselves as very meek and even submissive.

Whether it's a fair extension of the initial term or not, it does seem to cover a cluster of personality disorders that revolve around fragile and underdeveloped egos and the need to control others into supplying the missing validation and affirmation. Grandiosity and dominating weak people are only two ways of going about that. A lot of narcissists are mothers who use guilt to manipulate their children, and some narcissists alternate cyclically between different methods depending on the situation, alternately terrorizing, apologizing, and even self-deprecating to elicit sympathy.

>>19612167
Tautology isn't a fancy way to say "redundant," except in sloppy colloquial English. You might be thinking of pleonasm. By definition, a fragment of a sentence cannot be a tautology. A tautology is a proposition in which the predicate simply unfolds what is already contained in the concept. Outside of logic, redundancy is often used for rhetorical effect, as in "his great big arms."

>>19612194
‘Oversharing’ is a tautology and meaningless advice, not a meaningless word. Also doesn’t qualify as pleonasm, not sure why you implied that, unless you meant it in conjunction with the ‘babbling’ which still refers to the tautologically true statement that oversharing is wrong.
Tell me if I’ve misunderstood you.

>>19611235
Everything in my body hurts. Being moved into the BWL department has been a blessing and a curse. Trying to hang on until my first vacation but it's rough.

>>19612194
>revolve around fragile and underdeveloped egos and the need to control others into supplying the missing validation and affirmation.
I guess it doesnt help that I feel like an empty person who cant make sense out of himself without relying to external sources.

>>19611253
>>19611256
>>19611881
Rory starts the series so cute and innocent but becomes a dumb, self obsessed bitch by the end.

10/10 most realistic show of all time

>>19611235
Cute legs. Just the right amount of fat.

>>19612270
Baby fat leaves young women so quickly. If you see a hot girl who is 23, I guarantee you, when she was 18-21 she was gorgeous in that intangible way that makes you want to kill yourself when you think about how you can't fuck her. Girls beyond the baby fat stage can still be hot or beautiful but it's just not the same as that perfect youth look.

I have seen Communists claim that Liberalism and Fascism are both the same thing.
I have seen Liberals claim that Communism and Fascism are both the same thing.
I have seen Fascists claim that Communism and Liberalism are both the same thing.

What if they are all correct?

>>19612176
Yeah Pete learns from his mistakes unlike Don. He is more relatable in a way. I do think Mad Men is as close as tv can get to /lit/. I'm not saying it is as good as literature, in fact I hate 99% of TV, but it gets closer than most.

>>19612292
>I do think Mad Men is as close as tv can get to /lit/
Watch the Young Pope, brotha.

>>19612292
I don't think relatability is a viable metric for judging quality. I don't want to imply the show is more than it is, but Don always struck me as a process more than a person, the fact that his moment of true awakening is inseparable from the process of commodification is meant to be alike an inverse-enlightenment, the complete giving over of himself to the false and phoney that a non-tragic hero would rise up over. Pete's own conclusion wouldn't be half as strong or appealing without its contrast to Don's. Pete is kicked dog, but he finds something real and true, however small, Don wins the world at the cost of his soul .

Don and Pete are both liars and cowards in their own way, but Don is more likable, which is why the ending doesn't sit well with people, because our internal 'narrative-logic" pegs Don as the hero and Pete as the snivelling minor villain. It feels unjust, and that is sort of the point.

>>19612303
Season 1 or 2?

joined a gym once again and my mood has become so much better, I have such great interest towards almost everything now, including reading more books and finding out new things

S A M P L E

>>19611235
Tradcaths are even cringier than dark academia fags.

im going to turn into a complete fucking mental case solely from thinking about things that are completely and utterly above me and out of my control. individuals have risen from the streets to threatening the entire world order and defining history, and I cant help but feel like this fact alone puts an immense burden of responsibility for the world on my shoulders, but fuck, I know that im not that kind of person, obviously, but i still cant just let go and focus on my own immediate surroundings and my own life and forget about everything else. every aspect of my own life is intertwined with forces unimaginably immense and its a constant reminder of that immense responsibility, through these connections i cant help but grow out tendrils of love and care into everything good and beautiful in this world, and through that love and care, fear for that which i love, anger for that which threatens it, and an absolutely constant 24/7 feeling of intense stress over everything that goes on now and has gone on thought history

>>19612356
my take on any religious person is "at least they arent atheists"

Twunks.

>>19612341
you know the numbers go in a certain order right?

>>19611810
>I’m a history nerd
No you arent. jesus christ what an overtly false grand stand

>>19612310
the ending Mad Men gives us is completely pessimistic, Don goes into the room of advertisers for Coke. He thinks he's better than them. After hearing one man's voice about his lonely life, he's figured "it" out and THEN he goes back to McCann and turns the thought into an Ad campaign. He's learnt nothing. This version of the show has its own merits as Weiner's vision of America or at least, TV.
However, picture Pete as the protagonist and yet we still see the Don flashback episodes and meetings (Pete is in most of them anyway or looking through the window).
Don is a plastic person with a human history. Pete is a flawed human with a generous childhood.
They would appear to be inverse figures. But a lot of the show is about how beauty and good looks are everything so making Don the protagonist simply makes the show where he is in bed with women etc a repetitive endeavour of unknowns.

Sometimes when watching the show I wondered if one of the writers was genuinely using Don as a stand-in for their own "Chad" fantasies. Which is admirable but also pitiful and OUTSIDE the office is by far the weakest part of the show.

>>19612310
I wouldn’t say Don wins at the cost of his soul, i’d say until the final episode he doesn’t have a soul at all, he lives a completely self absorbed life ignorant of anyone elses suffering. Like Betty’s dad said, he has everything and acts like it’s nothing, it’s only in the end when he listens to that loser crying about his pathetic life that Don realises how much he has and learns to empathize with others. It’s just that much like Rogers short lived acid enlightenment, it doesn’t help him truly escape himself, he is still who he is, and he can’t do anything with his newfound empathy/soul other than use it to manipulate people, that’s all he knows. But he doesn’t lose anything, he just becomes even more successful, even more Don.

How the fuck do academics come about finding topics to research? Especially for their PhD thesis and shit. If you'd come to me and tell me I needed to do this shit to be a professor or get my PhD I'd be stare at you blank.

I hate society so much it's unreal.

My mood swings so radically. If I'm feeling unproductive for more than a couple hours, I get so miserable. I've gone from perfectly content to maddeningly restless to relaxed in just 10 hours.
At least I came up with an idea for a short story that I quite like.

>>19612424
If you dedicate as significant chunk of your time to a particular area of study you are naturally going to have a much more granular understanding of all the interlocking parts and how the implications of one thing has a carry-on effect to everything else, which is why people sometimes act like something that seems very minor or peripheral to an outsider is the end of the world.

This isn't limited to academia, any place where knowledgeable people gather.

>>19611799
le live
le love
le laugh

hope this helps

>>19611799
I'm very serious anon. I know this may seem like I'm trolling, but I'm not. I lived like you for a very long time.

You just need to toughen up. DO NOT ACCEPT THE WAY YOUR LIFE IS.

It is literally as simple as that. I am not guilt tripping you, though I'm sure you think I am. I understand the throws of a middle-class purposelessness thoroughly and from the inside. You need to pray to God for his will to be done in your life. He listens. Trust me you fucking pathetic retard. He listens.

I want to live in a place where there's artists making things or culture is being recognised but without
>overtly political artists
>idpol hysteria
>the place being a complete shithole
how feasible is this

There are exceptions, but 4channers are generally the nicest people on the Internet now. It's insane how things have changed in 10 years. Makes me realize that things will be unrecognizable again in 10 more.

>>19611799
Become a wandering vagrant guided only by your intuition.

>>19612464
Iran maybe?
Understand that, for the most part of history, the artist was primarily a craftsman. He was not revered in the "oooh so genius" way that Renaissance and Romanticism created.
Of course, outstanding artists always had a clame to fame–but so had weaponsmiths.
So if you take a country like Iran, where (presumably) Mosque’s are still being built and painted in normal Islamic ways, that may be as good as it gets.
I think "muh culture" as this grand idealized thing that has been going on in the West for the last few centuries inevitably leads to a sort of "degeneration:" Artists WILL become self-absorved due to "artists are the bestest people there are" sentiment, and then meddle with politics etc.

>>19612480
>There are exceptions, but 4channers are generally the nicest people on the Internet now.
I agree, if for no other reason than this website lacks this sense of catastrophic urgency that has come to frame almost everything everywhere else.

>>19612424
A PhD isn't really a mantelpiece trophy. It's not something you can just ask for ideas about, because a PhD is about research. Research is about furthering not just your own knowledge, but adding to a field. The reason you can't really just "choose a topic" and "do a PhD" on it is because the topics are, in theory at least, questions nobody has asked before. It's about original thought, which is functionally distinct from all other studies, including a master programs. Many people who have done well their entire way through school aren't suited for a PhD program, not because they aren't bright enough, but because they've never really learned how to dive deeply into something to the point beyond knowledge.

If you want an excellent idea of the kind of person I'm talking about, pop your head into pretty much any of the philosophy threads here. They're characterized by this mentality where everything is about what other people have said and how best to understand them. It's all about the interaction with pre-packaged knowledge and the interaction with it in that strict capacity.

In a perfect world, every PhD candidate would have at least a spark of the genuine Faustian spirit. To this hypothetical and apocryphal learner, all information should be voraciously consumed and examined but in strict subservience to their own thoughts and curiosities. The body of existing knowledge should be a discrete and finite launching pad for what lies beyond. They should want to push the frontier and take risks and entertain mad, fanciful notions which spring from the imagination of the eternal childhood.

But because the forces of staid Academia have grown too strong and too entrenched in the smell of its own protracted flatulence, what should act as a counterbalancing force now prevents the scale from budging. Academia's fat, moribund shitcheeks have drowned out risk in favor of safety. Academia feasts on the flesh of its supplicants, then shits and farts out what can't be digested. It can't stop shitting or farting, and Academia will probably Shit and Fart for the rest of eternity.

Don't do a PhD.

>>19612489
my one issue with religious countries, is not that their laws aren't "based", it's that often you are limited with your subject matter.
I don't know where in Europe there is such a freedom in subject matter without it being just a shithole

>>19612496
I am planning to shortly go into a mathematics PhD and I am frightened by this post.

The intrinsic worth of pursuing truth/beauty for its own sake is worth the risk of contact with a sluggish legacy system that groans under its own astounding inertia. At least, I hope so. Maybe another year or so of experience will prove me wrong.

Meanwhile: I feel like a different species. Like I can observe life but not participate in it. Like an animal that can walk closer to the glass of it's enclosure but never know contact with another. I would feel no less alone on the moon.

Also: I think the reason I haven't been reading so much is that I'd been trying too much to read books that sound like they're supposed to be intelligent or important or something. Last thing I read was Our Lady of the Flowers and it was dogshit. So bad, in fact, that I think it's cured me forever of feeling a sense of obligation to read bad things that are shit. Also it's only further entrenched my profound distaste for the French.

>>19612504
Understandable. I mean, I love degenerate full-of-despair literature as much as the next guy. But I don’t think it can really exist in an a-political way. I feel the "I’m a total bum and I’m writing a book" statement is mostly the same as the "I’m a total bum and the city belongs to me! lower rents now!" leftist perspective.
Either a culture actually keeps public feeling and behaviour "cultivated"—rooting out ugly/bad weeds—or it’s a free-for-all "muh feelings are worth as much as everyone else’s, and that is all that matters" brawl.
In today’s Western world that means a whole lot of people publish controversial trash and even get praised for it. And I’m also dreaming of a culture without Hollywood shit and everything. But except for becoming God Caesar, how will I find Millions of allies for enforcing my ideal culture, without choosing core values that also sacrifice some of my own favorites?
It’s an unfortunate state of affairs. I’m thinking just ignoring the existance of all idiots.

>>19612541
Well in Maths the PhD situation can’t be that terrible. The line between "original" and "re-hashed" is a bit more clearly cut: Either your theorem is hitherto unproven, or it isn’t. Even if there’s pressure to for some "easy" theorems, I’d guess it depends on what you make of it, still. Meaning, you can try to uncover more dimensions to them than were previously seen, or find isomorphism to a field that was thought to be mostly unrelated.
Anyhow it’s much better than the Humanities (you’re expected to produce 400 pages of "yadda yadda yadda you could say A but you could also say B") or empiric sciences (tinker with the setup of your experiment until you get "significant" data).

>>19612586
Thank you for the effort post anon,
it's true a lot of sheets to the wind art idles by all that liberal stuff, but I detest the whole idea of people coming together under such a weak cause. To me freedom of speech is the ultimate goal and I don't care about the rest, except the place not being a crime infested shithole. It's a shame that most European cities are front page libs or bust. I'm unconcerned and I think actually part of the point of art is wrestling with all perspectives to find truth. I don't know where to go, my town at the moment is just a nowhere's ville with one great monument and a bunch of shit council houses and the like.

>>19612657
>>19612586
>>19612541
>>19612496
Holy shit kill yourselves losers

>>19612660
not very nice

I don't know what to do. I really don't want to get vaxxed but the pressure keeps growing. Some of friends are turbonormies and according to them everyone who isn't vaxxed is le evil. They annoy everyone with it even the vaxxed friends who don't give a shit if others are or not. Also I have stuff to do in the near future that probably won't be possible if unvaxxed. Novavax just got approved for the EU so maybe I'll just get that. I just feel personally insulted and humiliated by being forced to have a medical procedure done, having a pharmaceutical injected into my body that I don't want and don't think is in any way necessary.
On the other hand the pandemic has cost me too much time already and I want to move forward in life. And while my friends are somewhat of a normie nature I still like them and don't want to trouble the group by forcing them to position themselves either against me or against the hysterics.
I will probably just get novavax as soon as I can but will apply for membership in my country's right wing party on the same day. Like fill out the form, take it with me when I go get the jab and drop it off at the post office on my way back home.

Obviously just a cope but I want to meet people who don't have a throbbing hard-on for joining the moderate leftist green upper middle class suburb bourgeoisie. Plus if the governing parties force me to get jabbed I at least want to pettily support those who annoy them and make their rotten work more bothersome.

I always get surprised when i read a stem book about something and they use people thinking the world was flat before columbus as an example of increasing knowledge

>>19612303
Funnily enough that was the other show I had in mind that could qualify

>>19612310
>>19612418
>>19612423

"If you want to be Don Draper, you already are"

When you think of yourself as an individual you miss the forest for the trees.

>>19612794
I'm so rooted here I cant help but to not see the forest where shall I go from here?

I picked some books from library just to put on a table and return without even reading it. Again.

>>19612292
Deadwood.

Twin Peaks is the best thing to ever come out of TV, but it's not very /lit/.

>>19612822
You're way ahead of me pal, I'm barely waking up. I need to zoom out to get a better grip of myself and to further grasp the mechanisms of reality and existence.

>>19612822
>>19612961
>I cant help but to not see the forest
My bad I'm tired and buzzed, I just re-read what you wrote, you've been seeing trees like me. I don't have a guide for awakening because I'm barely waking up. It honestly would be great to just chat in person over a drink. It's too hard to communicate all the various routes of thought and ideas. Nothing profound, I'm not a prophet or philosopher, but it would be cool to bounce things off each other in conversation. Best of luck buddy.

>>19612928
>Twin Peaks is the best thing to ever come out of TV, but it's not very /lit/.
Twin Peaks is art. It's great art, even. As such, the current which runs through and underpins it is the same current which runs through and underpins all great art; print, film, and otherwise. I think it's the most /lit/ of all film, "even though" it doesn't preoccupy itself with ponderous allusions to the Things That Are Alluded To.

>>19612541
Can you give me any idea of how clever you are (iq, did you struggle in high school at all, ect).
I eventually want to do a phd in pure maths but I m pretty sure I’m just a bog standard midwit, I think I could handle a bachelors but masters and phd seem beyond me which makes me sad because maths is the only subject I’ve found fulfilment studying.

I have so much free time and I don't use it. This is my last night online for a while. I deleted steam and all the games on my computer. I'm thinking of making a print-on-demand Amazon store and churning out up shitty FOTM socially conscious designs ("PROUD BLACK VEGAN") and sassy cartoon cats to see if I can make a buck. Actually read some books piling up in my room. Actually try to learn a language. I am sick of going round in circles, spending all day play games I don't enjoy, beating to porn that makes me feel nothing (I remember when just seeing boobs was exhilarating), shit posting here, I am at the point where literally anything else, even the most mundane shit, carries an aura of novelty. I spent the last 10 years prioritizing not being bored over everything else and I have never been more bored in all my life as a result. I need to change.

Best of luck to you all.

This girl on a dating app is showing a lot of interest in me really fast. I don't think it's a trap or a bot or anything but I am uncomfortable.

>>19612687
Kind of in a similar situation as you. I feel it’s important to not get drawn into this conflict mentally. For a couple weeks I was really angry, but really I was doing nothing and wasting my time thinking unproductive thoughts. Normies manage to get vaxxed and move on and drop the topic; at least some of them. You can also manage to NOT get vaxxed and drop the topic mentally. It’s harder, being in the minority, of course, but also possible. I figure it’s unironically like this for "racial minorities" that get insulted on a daily basis, especially so if the people insulting them are obvious loser drunkards who only happen to have "the right skin colour." Total idiots feeling superior to you for reasons of pure ideology. But here on 4chan we call them niggers and expect them to not get angry; so let’s not get angry at all the turbonormies now that they’re against us. Priority is to stay sane.
I also wouldn’t know of any minority that got so mad they just resisted and won. It’s always the majority that wins by being angry and smashing windows. Minority resistance cannot consist of symbolism, it must actually collect a blood toll that is so high even the mobilized masses cannot pay it.
Ernst Jünger gives the good example of a young social democrat that shoots 6 "policemen" (nazi grunts) looking to "search his house" in 1933 when the purges begin. Jünger writes something to the effect of: "Had every opposition member resisted like that, the nazi dictatorship would’ve ended right then and there." (The Forest Passage) Point being, even the nazis can’t afford to pay 6 grunts for every opponent purged.

>>19612995
(Not meaning to imply one should go out and shoot policemen right now. Just, either see our situation as yet another instance of "ok you get taxed and fined to hell by the elites, what else is new?"—or, if you really feel we are beyond that, think about measures of resistance that are more than "if I get mad enough, that will show ’em!")

>>19612973
No worries fren maybe in another world we would of been good friends thanks good like to you to.

>>19612496
Last part is cringe inducing because it is too personal.

>>19611639
Did you molest your little sister?

>>19612687
>I dont take the vaccine because I hate people who have a throbbing hard-on for joining the moderate leftist green upper middle class suburb bourgeoisie.
>but will apply for membership in my country's right wing party on the same day.
>. I just feel personally insulted and humiliated by being forced to have a medical procedure done, having a pharmaceutical injected into my body that I don't want and don't think is in any way necessary.
>if the governing parties force me to get jabbed I at least want to pettily support those who annoy them and make their rotten work more bothersome.
Your whole post radiates peak slave-mentality.
You're pathetic, not because of your stance on vaccination, but you rationality being below that of a child full with a massive inferiority complex.

>>19612289
Hmmm but what about hypernationalist postmodern revisionist marxist bolshevism?

>>19612660
You first.

>>19612985
I've consistently been at the top of my class in pretty much everything since I was a wean. On the other hand: when I was getting tested for dyslexia I was made to do an iq test and it was in the double digits.

I think if it's something you really (as in really really, like as in, how much the spice girls wanted a zigazig ah) then you should just push for it and see just how far you can get. What the fuck else are you going to do with your life? Admit failure when you haven't even tried? That's more loser-like than that bitchmade hoe I quoted above.

Also: you truly don't have to be that smart to cop a PhD. I've met plenty of unremarkable academics. Not saying you're unremarkable, but I am saying that your midwit excuse (regardless of whether or not it's true) isn't good enough to stop you from pursuing this.

Also also: don't take this as a direct encouragement to do a PhD. I have no idea about your life or what's good for you. I wish you success nonetheless.

>>19613151
Just realized I said you should go for it in the first part of my answer and then claimed I wasn't encouraging you in the last. Feel more than free to ignore my retarded ass.

>>19612687
Yeah. It's difficult because it's such a minor, trouble-free thing to do but doing so essentially validates two years of morally reprehensible restrictions over a virus harmless to most. We need to be careful that we are not just continually manufacturing feelings of victimhood and depression out of spite or contempt; and to trust our gut when it tells us all this has massive ramifications for our future. But at the same time not wanting to believe those fears because if things get darker than this life wouldn't be worth living anyway.

>>19612269
What show is this?

>>19613197
The Leicestershire Lasses

>>19611235
I'm older now than my father ever was. He had 4 kids at the age I dropped out of college. I'm a 30 year old neet who parasitizes my mother. I wish he wasn't the only one that died of cancer.

>>19612986
See you tomorrow.
Don’t forget: You’re here forever.

I wish I had something I wanted to do no matter what. As it is, everything is just an endless gallery of things I might be inclined to do, but I don't particularily care enough to actually invest time or sacrifice for it. Write a book? I guess I could do that, but then again I could also not do it, and the time and the effort. Make a movie? Yeah I could do that but all the work to do it, and why would I want to do it anyway? As a result, I am completely directionless because there is literally nothing I want to do.

Maybe it's in part because I have utterly failed at the basic human essentials, like finding friends and having romantic partners. How can you pursue art or work when you lack the very basic need for love and intimacy with others? If anything consumes my mind, it's my yearning for closeness with a woman, and paradoxically this need only pushes you further away from your goal. It's probably the only genuine goal I have, but I also realise that actively pursuing it essentially has a negative impact on the likelihood of obtaining it.

I feel my spirit is trapped under a great boulder. I want to soar and do things and feel things, but something prevents me from doing so. There is a lock that I cannot open, and people around me notice and push me away because of it. I can't feel comfortable or at home no matter where I go, I constantly feel threatened or like a fish out of water.

It's easy to say that you must "grab life by the throat", but intellectual reflections on how to improve your life will not help, only real experience of life will.

I relapsed and dirty messaged a 48 year old lady on tinder after toying with her for a couple of hours. I hope I can still go to heaven.

bump

But, what ends when the lockdowns shatter?

>>19612383
<3
Twunks are even better than twinks. Sometimes.

>>19613371
The lockdowns, I assume

>>19613320
>>19613338
>>19613287
>>19612687
Man the thread is full of whiny bitches today go touch grass

>>19612461
>Just have faith

>>19611235
Niggers cannot read kek

>>19612416
Anon, you don’t get to tell people what they like and don’t like.

alot of stupid thoughts
im anxious about life and this pandemic
i want to have a good day
its Wednesday,this week is going by quickly
i hope my family is healthy
i hope to live to be an old man
i want to be a better brother
i dont want to be a disappointment to those around me
today i will have a good day
regardless of circumstances

>>19613421
you need to be over 18 to post here friendo

>>19613373
Yes, <3 replier. I'd love a douchey twunk bf but they are all str*ght. :(

>>19611235
I am late at doctor because of my retarded work colleagues

>>19613379
>tough guy on 4chan

What do you think Rory's body count was pre-marriage? How much did she discover herself in college?

>>19613379
>today

Aaaah! Im in a manic mood, I can start with what I wanted yet have to delay and focus my attention on other causes.
I don’t understand what’s expected of me and I hate the feeling of being totally free* to do something.
I want some peace of mind and be able to focus my thoughts.
I hope I don’t suffer from bipolar disorder and this mood elevation is the result of putting in years of effort!

* as of now unknown terms apply.

>>19612928
seconded,
Milch is the greatest TV writer bar none.
The Return was kino though, I think I like it more than the original run

>>19613486
What in my post suggests I'm playing tough?

>>19612344
are you me? new sense of vitality aside,
trying to find a milf that will pity sex me,
or any nice woman who will want to take an autistic guys v-card with a cock that is by far my biggest and best quality.

>>19613425
then why are you posting here ,pal

>>19613510
R. Lee. Ermey impersonator with a buzzphrase to top it off

I'm the next gay female Dante and in two hundred years scholars will study my shit

>>19613519
Damn, sorry I offended you

>>19613527
you type like a juvenile le owned you poster, lay off the Marvel quips

>>19613492
7

>>19611235
/Lit/ frens I need help. A few days ago I went out with a classmate and her friends to see a movie and it seemed to go well enough. The problem is I don't how to get invited out again (I only have my classmate's number). Do I call and see what they're up to? Or should I wait for them to call me? I did the latter once with my coworkers and they never called back, and I feel it'll be the same thing again if I don't call. I thought about waiting until Christmas to call back so that way I won't seem too desperate. It's also worth noting I asked my friend if I could come to the movies, rather than the other way around.

>>19611235
I would ask this on /x/ but it's pointless. Is it possible to have a spiritual experience that feels like it is from God but it is actually from a devil? Like can you be "tricked" even though it feels unambiguously good and like it couldn't possibly be bad?

I think I'm my psychologist's least favourite patient now. He asked me about my obsessive-compulsive behaviours and my hand-washing. I told him I want to be free of dirty/impure "matter" during certain activities. He asked me what I considered to be dirty. (it's not really about specifically germs or diseases for my ocd just dirtyness) I couldn't answer: I told him I had trouble answering that because "clean" and "dirty" are human opinion (dóxa in /lit/ terms), but he ignored this and continued to press me on what I considered dirty matter. I then gave ease of diffusion as often being a trait of (in my opinion) dirty matter, so for example sticky things or certain liquid things (think glue) He asked me to give another definion of dirty and again I said it's human opinion/couldn't give an answer, I tried to ask him questions myself first to see what his definion of dirty and clean is, but he didn't understand got annoyed and shut that dialogue off and told me to tell him another of my thoughts or fears. "in regards to hand washing or in general" "no no, in general" At which point, I made a retarded mistake and tried to tell him (a psychologist!) about my general existential fear (repeating the actions of our ancestors, vanity, general ecclesiastes stuff) but I was too vague so he didn't understand. He was visibly very annoyed by this point . He will probably dread every time we meet from now on, and so will I.
Either way, this is what I came here to ask you, /lit/. What is "dirty" and what is "clean" ? Are, say, mud or orange juice dirty? If you're clean and in a clean enviroment right now, and if you aren't let us suppose you are, then why are you and the enviroment clean? I think humans are completely hypocritical when it comes to this

>>19613994
Have no problem being dirty inside my house because I am the only one inside it and I remember what I'm doing, so it's a high-trust zone, I can be as dirty as I like. However, chemicals which I cannot be certain of like bleach shut me down. As I see it, 'dirty' is hierarchical. At some point dirt becomes permanent, and it's this permanance that degrades a person, from relative health (or perfection even). Clean is human idealism. Bacteria is impossible to get rid off and to be honest after spending time just descending mentally, well, Que Sera, Sera. Maybe its not for me to say anon but my compulsive reactions to cancers existing died down when I realised that all the "things" I wanted to do with a healthy body were just as doomed as any efforts to be praised as a cool, popular guy far past those school years

>>19613994
It's clear you're avoiding the real answer by intellectualization.

>tricked into reading a tranny book because the cover looked interesting so i grabbed it at random
>left very nasty review and 1 star rating
>some normalfag with "she/they" pronouns just liked my review
>actual unironic normalfag who reads nothing but YA and chick-lit

This is the age of the TERF and I will be at their forefront as central commander. I will assemble an army of TERFs. trannies put on notice.

>>19612461
I do not believe in God

>>19612264
That is also a BPD symptom, I think. BPD and narcissism are often linked and discussed in the same contexts. In my view there's an underlying real truth these diagnoses are getting at, there is something about the language of "weak ego" and "narcissistic supply" that is hitting on a real structure of the mind or personality, but we also don't need to be enslaved to these categories. They're useful if they help us think and overcome problems, but they're not ends in themselves.

I think one of the biggest pieces missing in contemporary psychology is a willingness to talk to patients about having objective purposes in life. There is a lot of talk about being a "whole person" and "happy," and there's a lot of talk of "feeling" like you "have purpose," but let's face it, most people are neurotypical sorts who fundamentally enjoy life, and can't easily understand people who are truly driven by a higher calling. My hunch which I can't really justify is that a lot of BPD/narcissism/"weak ego" people are, in part, extremely intense, inherently unsatisfied with themselves as they are, and looking for something other than fun and social acceptability to provide meaning in life.

This is kind of dangerous to say to someone if they really are a pathological narcissist or BPD case, since they will filter it into their grandiose self-image. But I think it could help a lot of people if it were done delicately. I know BPD people who have gotten much better since joining a church for example, because being able to INTELLECTUALLY contemplate the morality of their sincere religious convictions satisfied them in a way that mere social injunctions to niceness/everyday compassion didn't satisfy. I know other people who only learned to accept themselves and feel like they had a "right" to be themselves around others once they found their true calling in something weird by normie standards, like devoting themselves to some engineering task that will take years. From then on, whenever people found them weird, they no longer felt like their whole sense of self was unstable and vulnerable, because they knew their real self was simply elsewhere, in the engineering "world," and while it might be a shame if this person right now can't see this or understand it, that's all it is, a shame. They're not threatening the very core of your being at that point. You're just two ships passing in the night, which is okay.

I guess I'm saying it's not necessarily a bad thing to want external sources to tell you who you are. That's the basis for a lot of religious and metaphysical ideas. By ourselves we're animals, not always evil but adrift and egoistic, and therefore incomplete. The same logic is used when your dad tells you that if you sit around and wait for life to come to you, if you don't throw yourself into anything that challenges you and changes you at your core, you will never grow or develop into your true self, you'll just age and remain fundamentally immature.

>>19613238
kek

>>19612137
Very true. Damage control when texting just typically digs you in deeper. Best to not fuck up in the first place and always play it cool.

>Also learn to monitor your own manic states. Just because you feel sincere in your neuroticism doesn't mean it comes across that way to others. If you are just babbling endlessly and oversharing, even if you're right or valid in some technical sense, chances are you're freaking normalfags out.
It's as if you know me all too well.

Also, I find that it's generally safe to ask questions and to answer questions because in the first case the ball is in their court. In the second case they solicited a response from you so they expect to receive. Just answer the question plainly and as directly as possible.

Again all of this applies to new acquaintances or people you meet off dating apps. For your well-established friends, they know how to infer your intentions and understand the personality driving the textings.

>>19612264
>>19614210
But if your only sources of external validation or criticism are other normies, who themselves don't really need external sources because their center of gravity lies comfortably in their everyday sense of self and ordinary compassion for others, then you may feel crazy if this just isn't enough for you.

Like I said, this is probably dangerous to tell to fully crazy narcissists because it will justify their abuse of others but I wonder how many of even those people could have been tamed if they had an objective purpose bigger than themselves forced upon them. I really do wonder how many of today's mental illnesses are at least partly a result of a lack of stimulation and a lack of things for people to do beyond everyday hedonism and "going to work." A lot of fucked up people end up being very good employees, scientists, doctors. Those people would probably have turned inward and become discord trannies if left to their own devices to watch anime for ten years.

>>19614123
TERFs are the biggest fools of this age. They were perfectly happy to be ardent supporters for liberalism until they realized that they weren't the special coddled class anymore.

>>19614264
Women are just near-sighted, they have no feeling for large scale history or sociology. You have to show them how something is affecting them personally to get them to do anything political. Current woman manipulation propaganda consensus is
>all women are sluts by nature
>you love to have fun
>you're so fun
>your right to kill a baby inside you is tied to your ability to have fun and bee yourself
>the fun will last forever
>you're a hero for feeling your feelings btw, keep having fun and feeling fun
>anyone who tries to take any of this away from you (feeling good, killing babies) is hitler
>hitler isn't fun

But women can just as easily go the opposite way, usually economic downturn is what does it. When they want security and not to be exposed to the depredations of a crisis, they will become the eternal bulwarks of conservative maternal instinct and family values surprisingly quickly.

Starting to hate religious posters.

>>19613576

i have no balls and i must cum

>>19612980
I agree with your sentiment and it is certainly great, but if it's /lit/ then I have no idea what people mean by something being /lit/.

>>19613503
I agree, anon. I hate the fact that he of all people has Alzheimer's. Have you ever heard his lecture series "The idea of a writer"? If not, check it out, it's on YouTube. It's great.

>I TRIED SO HARD AND GOT SO FARRRRR
Literally me rn

>>19614540
tfw literally me always

>>19613197
gilmore girls
>>19612269
she's literally /our girl/

>>19611821
in other words you're a melodramatic pussy

>>19613522
no you're a tranny

getting v cute bumble matches but few message me ): maybe it's the holidays?

a portrait of the artist is a comfy book

>>19612118
because texting has become the main form of communication, horrifically mangling of tones of voice and a harsh entry barrier to relationships, I quite literally have never shared my feelings with a woman in person.

>>19613350
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnHW6o8WMas

>Haven't read a book in months
>Haven't drawn anything in like 2 years
>Can't remember when was the last time I wrote a poem or a story
Currently dabbling in graphic design but like with all of these I'll suck at it and give up the second I face an obstacle.
How do I overcome this?
Anyone here managed to deal with this?

>>19614637
It sucks. Twitter is similar in some respects, in that the short medium truncates the range of expression and leads to shallow and easily misinterpreted communications. In an in-person conversation, the flow of conversation is in real time and you can quickly correct course or undo misstatements. A change in facial expression alone, or a smile , or a gleam in the eye, do a better job of successful communication than any number of texts. And a conversation, on the phone or otherwise, is immediate and present rather than asynchronous. So when you send a text and don't get a reply for hours you're not sometimes left anxiously wondering whether they read it and simply found it worthy of rejecting you, or whether they're ignoring you or just busy or asleep or not even looking at their phone. It's impossible to tell.
Bring back phone conversations.

>>19611235
(T o T)

>>19614694
Phone conversations aren't wildly better, there's just more room for nuance. Also with Twitter, I was hoping, albeit foolishly it would be the best place to meet women interested in /lit/ and such things however it's the same ghost feeling I get from them anywhere. A smile is the furthest I've got to true pathos.
>that quiet girl at the back of the class . jpeg

I never got bored of city pop/future funk

I put on a decent amount of weight but exercising in a mask makes me feel like I'm going to pass out

>james webb telescope launch delayed again
>december 25
JUST LAUNCH TH EFUCKING THING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>19611235
Would unironically lick her legs.

>>19612030
Lol Don was not born with a silver spoon

>>19611235
What show is pic of?

>>19614940
the pussy vagina show with accidental accessories

>>19612687
i'm just never gonna get it
sorry
ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>19614608
Thanks but I'm not trans

i'm chilling

>>19614944
supernatural?

>>19612687
Does the vaccine even fucking work now? The mRNA ones and novavax all target the spike protein, not the whole virus, which is why omicron with its spike protein mutations escapes so readily.

I was waiting on novavax too but man did they fuck up. They still haven't gotten approval, and now their vax is redundant for the one population (mRNA doubters) that actually wanted it. I'm going around town sucking up clouds of coof air like Kirby trying to get omicron, since it's probably a natural vaccine anyway, and complex immunity from a mild cold seems preferable to another spike protein mRNA jab you have to re-up on every 6 months anyway.

Do you watch John Campbell's channel? Safely supplement your zinc and vitamin D.

Don't be too disheartened. The whole covid thing may have been the biggest gift to the right in recent history. It was supposed to be a checkmate move by the establishment that permanently solidified the rule of coastal elite dickheads and their shrill MSNBC watching wives, instead it ended up pissing off the silent majority and galvanizing a lot of people who otherwise wouldn't have come into contact with one another.

>>19614912
I have a bad feeling the rocket's gonna explode at launch

>>19614965
>>19614602

>>19614918
Most straight men would.

>>19613407
i absolutely can tell the difference between
history nerds and "i played a paradox game once" tier self proclaimed "history nerds" like yourself

>>19615038
>"i played a paradox game once" tier self proclaimed "history nerds"
I haven't played EU4 in so long bros. At one point it was the second or third most "important" activity in my life.

>>19614602
/our girl/ is Paris, by far the best character in the show

>>19615050
I get my urge to play it out by watching channels like The Red Hawk and Ludi et Historia on 2x speed

>>19612687
>being friends with turbonormies
I do not understand you guys sometimes

I need sex.

Where's /wg/ or at least /crit/? I lurk them to read the work people post because I assume everyone writing on this board is at an advanced level and I want to dissect what makes their writing so much better than my drivel.

>>19615089
yeah me too

>>19615050
I got bored of videogames for like a two years and then once i finally felt up to it and really wanted to play some eu4 and civ v and stellaris, my graphics card up and died, so its been ages since ive played and i now want to play, so it will definitely be more rewarding when i finally do

>>19615117
I'm writing a book, a political one. The title is "Left-Wing Communism: an Infantile Disorder".

>>19612030
His backstory was that he was not at all born with a silver spoon. He took incredible risks and was also in the right place at the right time. Success involves luck as much as it involves other stuff with variance. He also was def abused by a lazy dishonest fuck. Cherry pick harder faggot

I can't shake the feeling of being a fucking loser. I go to a community college (transferring to a uni next autumn) but everyone else I know goes to a 4 year university. I don't have a job like all my other friends do, I don't drive around and hang out with people as much as they do since I'm more introverted, and I don't go to the gym. I know it's not good to compare yourself to other people but I have no confidence in myself when I observe them. Their pass time is picking up girls on campus and my pass time is reading books.

>>19615224
>I go to a community college (transferring to a uni next autumn) but everyone else I know goes to a 4 year university.
Doesn't matter, you'll be in the same place as them, education wise.
>I don't have a job like all my other friends do,
Get one then?
>I don't drive around and hang out with people as much as they do since I'm more introverted,
I dunno how to fix that, maybe social clubs at your college/uni
>and I don't go to the gym.
Go to the gym
> Their pass time is picking up girls on campus and my pass time is reading books.
No one has as much sex as you think they do anon

IMAGINE

>>19615224
>Their pass time is picking up girls on campus and my pass time is reading books.

How is this a negative? Sex is for your wife, don't chase gratification at the expense of your well being.

The only thing more embarrassing than how much time I spend here is how not busy I am so that I am able to spend so much time here.

I wanted to do something important with my life. I could’ve done something important with my life, until I fucked everything up…

>>19615302
I'm not that anon, but I do feel that as a man these days, your social standing is a function of how many women you have sex with, or at least how much sex you have. There's a reason that male virginity is something that is looked down on, and why "virgin" is such an effective insult.

>>19615340
I'm not that anon, but what does it mean for an insult to be effective?

>>19615358
>what does it mean for an insult to be effective?
It lowers your standing in the general public, or it makes you feel bad. Like "virgin" or "small dick". People go to those insults in all sorts of conflicts.

>>19615302
I'm in agreement, it's just hard not feel weighed down by the expectations of other people that access to women means your life is going good. I can improve most other aspects with my life with enough effort but finding a wife is a lot harder today than hooking up with some art hoe.

Should I try to go back to a job that I regret leaving, even though I really hated it?

>>19614100
This.

It matters what you think nobody else. You do yourself a disservice by intellectualizing.

I've often thought how I would not like to give an answer to a question just to satisfy a need for an answer when talking with a psychologist. The answer would have to be it or nothing it all. But then nothing doesn't get you anywhere, so any help to arrive at one would be the next step.

>>19615089
>>19615136
I need a wife.

i'm coughing but i think it's cuz i breathed in too much mask fiber at the grocery store waiting the super long ass line, i don't have a fever or anything

>>19615340
My social standing among anyone that matters does not depend on how many women I have or have had sex with.

>>19615393
I get asked about when I'm going to get a girlfriend by expectant friends and family members but I know that I am making the right decisions and that grants me strength.

>but finding a wife is a lot harder today than hooking up with some art hoe.
I think this has probably always been true, I should've married my hs gf so now I'm struggling to find someone.

>>19615411
the problem is trad wifes don't marry sad sacks or crumb bums, so if you want a decent wife, better work on your career or business. she's not going to marry a guy watching cartoons in the basement.

>>19615432
I'm trying anon. I work harder than most people I know, but I'm only 23 and have a long way to go. At least I no longer fap.

>>19615443
i can't imagine what kind of woman would marry a man who uses pictures of anime girls as his avatar on image boards.

I would like to have a nice, hot pizza on a cold night in an old cabin overlooking a lake.

That is all.

>make a pot of tea
>forget to put tea in it
>drinking a pot of hot water lightly flavored by old tea leaves
>can't be assed to fix it
that's how my day is going

>>19614935
I think that part was referring to Pete

>>19611235
Today I wandered around downtown, a lot easier with these damn scooters but the important thing is that I had the urge to commit petty crimes whenever possible.
I stole an umbrella. I found a ladder of an office building, went up it, turned off some generators, then ran off. I bricked a window in an abandoned retail center.
I don't know why I want to do these things. I make decent money and have friends/family. Sometimes I imagine I'm freeing myself from Capitalist rule of law, becoming more creative and more able to think of what the law means in the process. Other times it's me being a bored entitled autist that should be learning pro-social behavior instead. Maybe both.

Today was a great day because I could excercise and read the greeks for more than 2 hours as work wasn't heavy. On days that I have to wagecuck more than 6 hours I'm miserable.

I’m fucking drunk. So write. What else is there to do but to lay bare once thoughts on a blank slate of... blank. My gaze is lagging behind, cigarettes stain my obfuscated state of mind. Shame and everything that’s associated with... it. So boring. Disaronno is the brand I drink. Only two days left till I’m blessed by her presence. Landing by bird and by plane into the city that has been my scorn and my blessing for this passing. Sugar bags besides me. Wanting to again devolve into detailed transcription as courses have taught me to discern. I’ll refrain. Never mind. Three stripes pinched on top and on bottom — in order to close off its contents. Its creator dissatisfied because of the improper use of his product. “You’re supposed to break it in the middle, not shake it to one side to then rip of an end and pour”. If one is enticed to commit suicide at such a frivolity, then there must’ve been more dissatisfaction of life. A designer can never predict the use of its product, and once let loose onto the general public, your product’s implementation will cease to be your reasonability or concern. Let go. You fool. You’re obviously depressed. I should probably drink less. Anticipation of the unreconcilable event lay upon me like a thousand stacks of paper. I’m wearing five layers as I step onto the shaft that is my apartments’ dwelling. A t-shirt, shirt, sweater, jacket, and blanket. Lighting a cigarette in the hallway, guilty as charged. In my intoxicated state, convincing myself its harmlessness. Plug in those ears, dull out those senes. I blast music, shredding, shattering my eardrums. The song consumed beforehand in gleeful state, reduced to tears. In blank space I stare on the space I used to dance. Your little window into my life. My first and last one post is this. Completely naive and unknowing of your house, your life, your feelings and thoughts in strive through image-boards online. Yet, knowing, in contemplation, that you’re out there. Thank you. I bid you all good night.
>I drew this for you

>>19615611
>I drew this for you
Impressive! How'd you do it

>>19615611
what kind of darts do you smoke? also disaronno is good. cheers

>>19612176
But Tony is one of the worst protagonists of all time.

>>19615655
Morally or in terms of writing? In terms of writing he's incredible.

I've been preparing for my mother, who is very sick already and who covid would likely do in, to die for some time. The tragedy of it is heightened manifold by the fact that, after many years of struggling, things were about to turn around. My brother had his first child, my dad was working on a new house were going to move into so we could get out of the rough neighborhood they presently reside in. The house remains unfinished after numerous setbacks; now my dad has a second full-time job taking care of my mother. He's too poor to hire a contractor to take care of it. My mother, who so wanted a granddaughter, met only once when she was so ill she was barely herself. My other brother lives in misery with a dead-end job and few prospects. He still lives at home and has basically been forced to become a caretaker for my mother, losing what's left of his youth in the process. They are in hell and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

External pressures have crushed my family, whether socioeconomic or epidemiological, or through folly and ignorance. We have been victimized and disadvantaged and beat down.

At times I vacillate between intense sorry and profound hatred of the world. Hatred for this country, general hatred of humanity for all the small nicks and cuts they have inflicted on us, and even hatred of my family, for their incompetence, poor decisions, and weakness. Finally, if there was a God, he I would hate most.

>>19615667
>intense sorry
*sorrow

>This is honestly sad, pathetic, and nothing to be proud of. There's no chance at moving up doing this line of work and depends entirely on the state continuing a recycling program that pays less and less as inflation rises. You put yourself at risk by competing with homeless for these cans. Any time you're not working you lose out on profit and that can happen just from getting sick or injured.

>There's so many better jobs out there. My own immigrant parents started from doing service jobs in the food industry, driving, and kitchen work. They ended up doing all sorts of other jobs over the years but now own four properties with two fully paid off. This article isn't a success story, it's a story of failure.

one of the most hardcore comments i've seen on a tech bro site

>>19615630
Photoshop with a Wacom tablet, sometimes using a mirroring tool. The Wave is based on Hokusai's famous print, the boat is based on reference, and the cannon as well. The rest is all improvised. First I make a sketch with a pencil brush on a separate layer then I use a hard round 9pt brush with 40% smoothing to create the final version. I add a 9pt stroke effect on some of the layers to make it more readable, and then — after rasterizing and merging the layers — I edit some of the places where the stroke seems unnatural or sharp. I then move around the separate objects — like the dolphins, the ships, the cannon, the tentacles, the wave, and the coral — to create a harmonious composition. This is the rough draft. I also have one where I added some noise to all the black surfaces, some scratches and a Colour Burn gradient to make it some less digital — more handmade.
>>19615638
Marlboro Gold, and yes, Disranno is nice. I mixed it with Merlot and Gluhwein and Beer. Fortunately, I didn't get sick.

>>19615684
What is the article they are talking about

>>19611235
Is it too soon to write historical fiction set in the 2000s?

>>19615690
https://www.thenation.com/article/society/parents-collecting-cans-bottles/

>>19615667
The truly disgusting reality of our moment in history is that while people like you and your family are living out this quiet invisible sort of anguish and being humiliated in your own country by your own crony government, the elites who squeezed the life out of the middle class and continue to do so are currently living it up in "trendy neighborhoods" roleplaying as philanthropists and activists for the downtrodden, using their resources, connections, and control of culture to focus all of the attention of government and society away from you and onto the dregs of humanity.

I'm not sure who is more fucking disgusting in that equation, the minority who do it deliberately, who actively know they're parasites and know they're destroying the lives of people like you and don't care, or their millions of useful idiot children, who go to fancy private schools and universities and learn how to preen and fellate themselves for being such sophisticates.

Every time one of my rich acquaintances tells me about how they have some deadbeat sibling who got ten free passes on fucking up his life because mistakes can always be fixed with more money, every time I hear about how their dad deliberately underdeveloped middle class homes or how he uses three different lawyers to dodge taxes so he can buy another car for his whore daughter, I think of how many people like your brother are being crushed and don't know where the pressure is coming from. It's coming from the entire collective tax-dodging class and its collective whore daughters, who are all happier and sunnier and have a natural "glow" because of their (to them) inexplicably frivolous carefree lifestyles, while your brother ages unnaturally and perceptibly with each year. That energy is being siphoned directly from you into some New Yorker whore eating at a trendy restaurant right now.

They are literally a vampire class, they are sucking the energy directly from your brother and your family every time you have to make a "hard decision" about not getting medical care or putting a family pet down because you can't afford it but their father can financially back their fifth failed business or their third university degree so they can continue LARPing forever.

>>19615663
No, he's boring. Every episode is the same. He yells at his wife, has sex with an attractive woman, beats up someone in much better physical shape than him, and then whines. Every single episode.

>>19615701
it's not the fault of some programmer eating organic avacado toast downtown that you didn't learn to code.

>>19615708
I would prefer not to.

>>19613095
>Your whole post radiates peak slave-mentality.
Retard

>>19613086
Something like that, yeah.

I wish i could practice dark magic and be a necromancer.

>>19611543
that's the real wisdom of life anon. it's all a battle between two sides trying to find balance, or more appropriately, equilibrium, and nobody ever reaches it, because perfection is reserved for the infinite, god. just when you get this close to reaching it, the other side, whatever it may be depending on the context and issue at hand, gets a boost of strength and pushes you away from it.
still, retain your reverence for the balance. carry that flame.
ever since i reached this view, everything started to make a whole lot more sense. but then again, i am just a fool.

woah

>>19615543
very based anon. glad you had a good day.

Taking a job in Uni admin is a huge regret of mine. I should’ve gotten a state or federal job instead.

>>19615850
why? uni admin people seem like they work 3 hours a day

>>19615850
is that like being an admin of a facebook group

>>19615856
for me it's just having to play a long with blatantly false lefty narratives all the time. also having to coddle helpless zoomers. also needing a mail order doctorate from some random internet school to advance past a certain level. it's just all awful. i mean it's easy as shit, but it sucks. i'd rather bust my ass at some start up and watch it crash and burn while the rich tech bro founder bounces to singapore in a private jet leaving the engineers holding the bag than spent a lifetime in the bureaucracy of a credential factory. stopping triggering me with work flashbacks, it's winter break, time to SLACK OFF!

>>19615856
It’s more like 1, if that. It just doesn’t fit me well and I don’t like being idle.

>>19615868
Actually, yes.

I'm gonna paint a Jackson Pollock with my brains and a Glock soon

>>19615902
Don't.

I stayed the night at a girl that I hadn't seen for five years, never had anything with her but I really wanted to. We drank, she offered me coke, we talked. I did not feel for a second that she wanted to be intimate with me so I did nothing. Now I think about her a lot but I know if I see her again I will again be discouraged by her lack of interest. I just don't seem to understand why she would bother to be nice to me if she doesn't like me, and if she does then why not show it. Maybe I'm retarded.

>>19615943
don't get involved with coke girls. she spared you the pain.

>>19615943
In hindsight I missed out on a fair bit of sex because I assumed a visible lack of interest meant a real lack of interest and it turns out the woman was just so passive she wanted me to do and initiate literally everything

look at these fuckers instead

that's better.

>>19615667

>>19615961
Been there. But imo its worth missing out because the consequences of misjudging are so much worse.

how do i even start writting? i have an idea for a nice little piece of genre fiction that i think would be cool and different but i have not written anything since i was a child and i dont lnow the first thing about realistic dialogue and good prose. plus theres a mater of whether or not the idea is actually "different" and isnt unintentionally a copy of something else or not as interesting as i think

I will never forgive this world for what they put Elliot through

My family and myself becoming too old, too busy, and too lazy for our old Christmas traditions is very sad.

>>19616148
For me, if my idea is something I haven't seen done before, at least not quite the way I want to do it, I'll give it a try. I'm very amateurish at fiction writing and haven't been doing it very long at all, but I try to force myself to do it because I believe in (some of) my ideas, and I think it's worth it to write them even if my prose needs to improve -- and the only way it will improve is if I practice.

holy fucking shit. against all odds i have tested negative for covid-19. i don't even understand how its possible. anyways, to celebrate im going to the liquor store tomorrow and buying a giant bottle of vodka probably. idk. this is insane

>>19616279
nice xi

i just cooked this humongous frozen pizza i got at the super market for like $5. i didn't know it would puff up to be so effing huge, and reading the box the thing is like 1800 calories total. i ate like 1500 calories worth saved a tiny little slice for later. and i burned the roof of my mouth wtf. i was just so pissed off the inflation at all the local pizza spots. $5.50 for two slices? how about i buy a whole frozen pizza for the same price assholes. like is there a cheese or tomato shortage? how do these pizza places justify cranking the prices sky high like that?

I don’t just not have sympathy for domestic violence “victims”, no it goes further than that actually, i want them to suffer a 100 times as much as they do for choosing to fuck abusive chads and then trying to garner sympathy

Friends told me they don't invite me out much anymore because I'm the only one not in a long-term relationship/engaged/married and they feel bad making me be the Xth wheel. I explained that it doesn't bother me, I don't want a romantic relationship. They explained that their significant other's are uncomfortable with me being single and think I'm a weirdo. But it's okay we can still game together and hang out once every couple of months.
I still have a few friends here and there, but this was my last friend-group. Feeling pretty alone and unwanted. I don't know what to do now.

>>19616519
>their significant other's are uncomfortable with me being single and think I'm a weirdo
Fucking typical roasties. Sorry anon.

>>19616325
i want to smoke weed so badly. i fieel like im god
https://youtu.be/9MDOKVSN_YM

>>19616528
Been like one and a half weeks since i ran out of weed and i haven’t bothered to buy anymore yet even though i have money and it’s really no trouble to get my dealer out here. I knew i wasn’t addicted, my life just sucks is all

Men are not supposed to have to cook food for themselves. I don't even work as many hours as some people, maybe 30-35 a week. And this is the last thing I wanted to be doing.

>>19616562
its been 1 month and 5 days since ive ran out of weed and quit. the goal is 3 months but some days i really crave it. esspecially sicne my citty is falling appart. i threw out all the excess weed scraps in my room but i know i could probably find some if i really tried, esspecially since i stil l have all my keef. this is all so tiresome to think about. im going to have another beer. cheers to weed sobriety anon, even though you arent addicted

It just feels like my love has been taken for granted. We used to put in the same amount of effort but now it just feels like I’m the only one and that she’s some sad sack of shit I’m suppose to constantly pity. How can she be “annoyed” with how many times I call her, I remember when she used to be so happy to hear me.. and she would call me equal amounts throughout the day telling me how special I as was to her. I don’t get that anymore, all I get is the same generic reply’s to whenever I text and call her expressing my love, “I love you too”. Just the filling out box’s on a checklist. This feels fucking terrible like all my passion has just been taken for granted... I don’t know what happened. I’m not gonna fucking start a conversation with her, if she actually wants to talk to me then she will have to initiate a conversation, to hell with calling her good morning or goodnight. God I just want to blow my brains out. Why did she change? How can in retrospect this be so meaningless yet feel so damn cruel.

>>19616519
Their wives come above all. Them blaming their wives also sounds like deflecting of blame so that they can save face.

The wall will come for you too

I feel as though I’ve taken myself out of the running before I knew the race had even started.

I feel much less sad and depressed than I did 2 months ago but more accepting of the idea that I'm probably going to kill myself soon. All of the old problems, responsibilities and stress feel like they'll end soon. I have all the time in the world.

Being talented feels good bros

>>19616525
Thanks

>>19616606
Both points are true. Still sucks that people I've known for decades are basically cutting contact with me.

I wanted to be an artist, someone known, someone unafraid to express all I wanted to but really, I am considering suicide over boredom, I know death will come eventually, so why wait? Going out in my terms would be my best path.
I can't, I don't have a gun, only knifes, can only slash cut and stab. The survival instinct opposes the notion, obviously, I am bored, I was born into a poor family, into a poor shithole country, a person like me will never make it. The second motivation that keeps me here, the delusion that my characters, ideas, worlds, paintings, style, etc can be something one day. I am an atheist, I am a nihilist, I know it's white noise but I still don't do it because I want those things to exist.
How to stop caring and just embrace oblivion?

>>19614244
You do make a lot of sense but it seems like it could only work for a people with a good sense of themselves not a completely empty husks.

>>19613538
>Do I call and see what they're up to? Or should I wait for them to call me?
Make the call and keep it casual. It will only be odd if you make it odd

>>19616148
Make writing something you do everyday. I think lots of people trip up because they get an idea but their total lack of experience paralyzes them. You want to write something great, obviously, but can you even write something pedestrian?

Start a Journal, or write mini essay's about things you find interesting. Build a habit so that when you get to writing creatively you are not starting from nothing.

wondering what i'll do if/when there's another lockdown. definitely more cocaine. maybe write p e r v e r t e d girl/girl stories & let them run away with themselves

>>19617006
i wish i had a snow dealer :(

>>19616909
>if you don't believe in nothingness, you must believe in God. There's no third option. And for all the people who say "I've never seen God," I counter with "I've never seen nothingness."

every day I wake hating niggers and women more than the day before. sometimes I wonder if this slow building up of hatred will one day cause me to have a big cummy, into a tiny cunny

snape kills dumbledork

>>19617059
God is either fake or evil

>>19617081
I suppose that you will have to embrace nothingness. Perhaps you're a much stronger man than me, stronger in mind. Probably so. But I don't know that anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to truly encapsulate nothingness. The antithesis of anything, everything, it just seems to me unimaginable. Incomprehensible. Whatever path of searching you set upon I hope you find what you are looking for. But I think faith in something is the only authentic outcome. It would be an awful shame if you were to stop caring, I think.

>>19617051
nightmare.
ask any girls you know, it's always girls who know

>>19611639
I dunno what you did exactly but I have a feeling I want a video of it

>>19617093
So i should just DM female friends and aquaintances on instagram asking "you know know anyonr who sells cocaine?"?
I wonder what they will think

>>19617128
You should maybe just not become a junkie, fuckin retard. Just smoke a blunt no cap style

>>19617128
sort of.
they won't think much of it especially if you ask like after 10 on a weekend

>>19617139
are you a canuck? do they say lookit anywhere else?

>>19617158
uk

>>19617162
really? never heard brits say that

I just want Christmas to be over already

>>19617166
to be honest this might've been the only time i've said it

>>19611235
I probably shouldn't care but I was looking at a stat that 90% by 22 years old 90% of people will have lost their virginity. Turning 22 in three months & still a virgin. Feels bad man.

>>19617188
90% seems low doesn't it?

>>19612030
>i want to see a show about a completely unloved incel loser who got molested by a fat old man
Same

>>19617188
your 27th birthday is when mental illness becomes compulsive, trust me you don't want this. At this point it feels like the system is strangling me everyday I wake up and whilst it fades for a while at the gym. I don't watch porn. I try and clean up after myself when I can. I still have near constant desire to put a knife to myself and exhibitionistic desire to show off my big cock, the only thing I have. All of which is battling with my attempts at improoving for slowly destroying my life and even maybe locked.
I think even at this point if I got a gf I would still be mangled beyond recognition.

im eating cereal rn

>>19617193
Is it? I have basically zero clue what is or isn't normal for people my age.

>>19611235
Say the Lord's prayer RIGHT NOW

>>19617188
There is literally no possible way that statistic is true in 2021. Most zoomers today are almost certainly virgins.

>>19617203
you cant get a mental illness if you've been mentally ill all this time.
t. 29 khv

Hate this place. Hate all of you. If one day I make it the first thing I'll do is buy this shithole and make your lives as horrible as possible. Ironically enough such hatred has pushed me forward towards achieving my goals and potentially making it.

>>19617188
kek that number is not even close to true, youth virginity is at new highs and only going up each year for the last 3 decades or so

>>19617087
>really been far even as decided to use even go
what

>>19617215
That maybe true, but in the past I could contain it, or at least I had the illusion that things were under control.

>>19617207
me either really

>>19617223
If it makes you any angrier shutting this place down will probably just make me shrug my shoulders. You're basically completely powerless with respect to me and everyone else on here.

>>19615850
Government employee chads like myself win again

>>19617228
who does all the fucking?

>>19617273
me :)

>>19617273
me too ;)

>>19617273
I personally fuck every 6/10 and up loli long before her first blood. You’re all getting my hand-me-downs unless you go with uggies

>>19617273
Normal, well-adjusted people in their thirties probably.

what's a good introductory text for buddhism?

I'll be 23 next month. Ive done nothing with last six years of my life. Adulthood and wasteed youth weigh on me. I dont know how to cope. I'm miserable

>>19611480
You're european. Interesting development. Also, get a job

>>19617488
you cope by realizing how much you still have ahead of you if you act, and making damn sure you arent still saying the exact same thing at 28 like I am, because if you dont try to change things up, then nothing will change, and your 20s will be gone before you know it and your life will go up in flames.

im grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you and yelling in your face: YOU MUST DO SOMETHING, LITERALLY ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING, BABY STEPS, TO MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT GO DOWN THIS PATH. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS IS LITERALLY THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO YOU IN YOUR LIFE THUS FAR

>>19616587
Damn. I'm sorry this has been the case for you, anon. However, is this a long distance relationship? You mention calling a lot, but do you actually see her? If you don't actually see each other, well, things can turn south like that.

Why don't women come to my house seeking me out for wild sex? I have been sitting alone for YEARS and not a single hot and horny babe has knocked on my door looking for cock.

>>19617488
Reiterating what the other anon said - commit yourself to something that well set you up with a foundation for life. You can change your mind further on down the track if you need to, but it is much better to have a foundation and then change your mind than to flounder in a state of constant potentiality without ever choosing something and thus achieving nothing.

My recommendation would be to pursue something that will set you up with a steady career path. Importantly, it doesn't need to be your passion. Ideally it should overlap with skills you already posses, but don't make finding your 'passion' the main prerogative. So analyse what skills you have and where you think you could be useful, then do your research as to how you can get into that field. Try not to go into heaps of debt in the process too, ideally.

What’s the point of ambien if I can’t take it post 1st REM cycle at 4am?

>>19617589
unironically this

Is suicide rate the best measurement of how good a group of humans lives are?

>>19617533
It’s not long distance, we go the same uni and have known each other since we were 5. My phone mocked me today and reminded me a of a picture that was taken exactly a year ago where me and her were hanging out on the couch watching a movie together. She barely seems to want to hang out anymore... she just says that she needs her alone time and I guess I get that but she acts as if it’s to much talk for 5 mins in the morning and 5 minutes at night, even though she’s doing nothing all day. It hurts me to know that doing the bare minimum is too much for her. I’m just pissed and sad at the same time.

>>19617754
>highest suicide rates in japan, eastern europe and africa
>good human lives
lmfao

>>19617854
You're screwed, dude.
I know you don't want to hear this, but it will probably be better long term if you leave her first.

Poopie lol

>>19612461
Faggot christian larper, ngmi

can work set a prostitute free?

Deleuze is the last great philosopher and all contemporary theory that is even remotely interesting is directly inspired by post-structuralism, as well as Deleuze&Guattari's work. Peppermint anyone?

>>19617854
As the other anon mentioned, it's about time you moved on then. She's not communicating, and it's giving you heartache. You deserve better than this. Don't put yourself through this pain for nothing if she isn't do her fair share of the work either. I wish you well, anon.

>>19617862
so you agree with him?

i should do something productive

>>19618182
me too
*proceeds to play divinity original sin*

New thread link >>19617934

>>19617251
>shutting this place down
Not my plan at all, this would be doing anons a favor.

>>19618024
Those are some nice tigers.

>>19615402
No, serf mindset