/lit/ - Literature

>>19550508
QUIT JUMPING THE FUCKING GUN AND WAIT UNTIL IT HITS 320 AT LEAST YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

>>19550508
I was making it.

…. W/e. Get the capitalization right next time. (Please)

https://youtu.be/eqdzGemEJ3Q

>no thread music
someone help

>>19550537
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heMBf1ESFtk

>Evergrande defaulted
>Ukraine tensions rising
>CCP nefariousness getting more intense
>Global warming creeping along
Can something just happen already? I feel like society is collectively hanging out under the Sword of Damocles. Just let the damn thing drop, we'll try to handle the consequences.

praying for all those in the path of this monster tornado outbreak tonight. i hope anons are ok

>>19550508
>Of Greek theogony it may be said that, in, touch with the artistic instinct of the nation, it always clung to anthropomorphism. Their gods were figures with distinctive names and plainest individuality; their names were used to mark specific groups of things (Gattungsbegriffe), just as the names of various coloured objects were used to denote the colours themselves, for which the Greeks employed no abstract terms like ours: "gods" were they called, to mark their nature as divine; but the Divine itself the Greeks called God, "ó θeóς." Never did it occur to them to think of "God" as a Person, or give to him artistic shape as to their named gods; he remained an idea, to be defined by their philosophers, though the Hellenic spirit strove in vain to clearly fix it —till the wondrous inspiration of poor people spread abroad the incredible tidings that the "Son of God" had offered himself on the cross to redeem the world from deceit and sin.

>/sffg/
>last couple of threads
>ALL of them are full of spam
What attracts these niggers? Do they just gradually get banned off of all the faster boards until they finally retreat to obscure generals with zero moderation?

I can endlessly shitpost on /a/ /lit/ but whenever I try to sit down to read, my mind goes midwit mode. Books to fix this?

>>19550561
thats just how generals are after a long enough time

>>19550521
it should go beyond that, there's no reason to post a new thread till the old one is on at least page 8. /lit/ is a slow board and a thread can stay up for hours past reaching bump limit

>>19550575
Cancel the internet

>>19550561
Trolls. Anonymous does nothing else but fuck around with each other.

>>19550508
We should castrate hereditary invalids

It may be a personal anecdote but from what I've seen, woman in their 30s who got nothing going on in their lives seems to be more miserable and make others miserable than a man who's in their 30s with nothing going on in their lives. But if you're a man in your 40s with jackshit then you're just as bad as the former.

This is the first time I've actually clicked on one of these threads, but I like it as an idea. You really should write what's on your mind.

I bought a $2 composition notebook from the grocery store and filled it up between October and November of this year. Even if you think there's not a lot going on in your life, you give a voice to the muted thoughts that a lot of us drown out with petty distractions.

I kept the notebook on my nightstand, writing about, ideas I had, people I met, everything. It helped me rest easier and gave me a lot of clarity of thought.

Be honest. Write what's on your mind.

I've tried to create a "project" for myself, but this time around things got bad. Every time I surface for air a little bit more of me is missing. Now I'm too scared (or something) to work because I know I'll lose motivation soon. Looking down the barrel of a shit life is hard, detachment is harder. One day I'll emerge and be nothing, and I'm looking forward to that day (assuming I'm not a fucking leech on my parents like I am now). Studying is for the blessed, and stupidity is wickedness. I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god, or something. God bless, thx for the memories /lit/ even though the internet is going to shit.

>>19550601
WOMEN'S BIG JUGS

why would they wait until 2015 to make a man in the high castle adaptation
>>19550537
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w45SZvEKMME

>read easy peasy method
>relapse a month later
oh yeah yeah

>>19550601
Been thinking of doing this again. An English teacher made me do it ages ago. Complete boring trash, but good practice.

>>19550508
So for context, I'm a 22 year old with pretty advanced hair loss. Currently I've been keeping my hair super short as when it's grown out, It looks really bad.

A couple days ago I was in class which was meeting via zoom. Everyone in the class was working separately on individual projects and our cameras were all on.

While I was working, my Professor picked up his baby. The baby started looking at his computer screen and my Prof started playing with him and said "Look! That's Anon! You have more hair than Anon!"

Now. His comments made me feel like shit but i didn't say anything. I've gotta ask, am I right to be offended? I've asked my friends and parents and they were all in disbelief that he would say something like that in front of me.

Personally I would never comment on someone's physical appearance like that. I'm constantly obsessing over my lack of hair and I hate being bald. Can you imagine if I had said "Look! That's Tim! You're almost as chubby as Tim!" That would be totally unacceptable.

I'd appreciate suggestions of what I should do in this case. I've been considering emailing him because he might just be clueless as to how upsetting hair loss can be to someone. I hope that I can inform him so that he doesn't say that kind of stuff to future bald students.

Also, I'd like to take a moment to just express how bizarre it is that this insanely progressive professor is the one to make fun of my appearance. This guy's about as socially left-leaning as you can get. He was honestly the last person I'd expect to do this.

>>19550641
you sound like the kind of person who jumps up and down complaining that people are too sensitive these days and that words cant hurt anyone so free speech is super important and you should be able to say the n word freely and joe rogan and jordan peterson are the pinnacle of free speech in your mind. yet you are offended that some guy said you were a baldlet. cope more baldlet

>>19550641
I say give it a pass because it was a conversation with a baby. It's cute.

RAPS:

Crack my knuckle, sit at my chair
It’s time to buckle down and troll without a care
My priority is saying mean things online anonymously and joyously
Best part is they don’t even know it’s me
I’m just playin’ about what I’m sayin
Cuz when it comes to me getting ironic it’s chronic
You see, the plan is to use straw mans
Fake support for the Klan ,
or like an incel, place the blame on the wo-man,
I’m insane, I fan the flame, just so I can hear you complain
go report me, another profile I’ll resort to, I have maybe forty,
Those lame moderators can’t get rid of this skilled hater
your self-esteem I will crater
Thanks to my self-loathing I’ll keep goading you,
the whole while I’ll sit back and smile
watch you cry until your tears run dry

State opinions that are repugnant and ignorant
Come across as ugly and belligerent
Take away ya innocence with the comments I sent
Because When it comes to this art I’m diligent
Your safe space I erase
Rub it in your face,
I must not know my place
I aim to annoy
And it’s all a ploy
Cuz I’m
(trolling trolling trolling)
(trolling trolling trolling)

Oh did I trigger you? Sorry I’m bored, Maybe figure who’s
behind the keyboard, cuz when it comes to bullshitting I’m always on board
and it feels like winning when I create an uproar
You won’t be singing my praises
When I’m bringing it with the outrageous
I can’t help it’s contagious
And frankly it amazes
that you got lost in my mazes
of insincerity, you should take a step back and get some clarity about my complete lack of charity

My insecurities I project
Empathy I reject
Your safe space I wreck
With the politically incorrect
Even if I don’t believe it, I’ll still breathe it
Say it like I mean it
Basic decency? Wouldn’t dream of it
That’s cuz I’m:
(Trolling trolling trolling)

Yeah sucka I’m trolling like I gotta keep it rick rolling
There aint no slowing with the insults I’m throwing
as your rage keeps growing my juices get flowing
Almost over the edge, but here’s my pledge:

>>19550651
I’ll claim to know something without cred
Deliberately spout misinfo, kill the convo like I’m spraying your thread full of lead
You’ll wanna jump off a ledge, I’ll say please go right ahead
Cuz i’m a piece of shit and off my meds
And it must be said, it’s fun to put an ache in stranger’s heads
Yeah you read that correctly, Stay salty,
Argument faulty, but I still gloat about it, you think I’m an idiot but look what you just wrote about it
if you so offended why don’t you take your throat and tie a rope around it
I don’t give a fuck who you are you’re just a blip on the radar, just someone faceless behind a screen to me
So behold as I conduct this obscene symphony
of infamy,
That’s right cuz I’m
(trolling trolling trolling)
You guessed it, actually no you’d didn’t
You took the bait, hook line and sinker
Meanwhile I look and wait, for you to get shook, whine and whimper
It’s a beautiful thing and it couldn’t be simpler
When all I have say is I agree with Hitler
It’s too easy and it pleases me
I must insist
I couldn’t resist making you clench your fist
I know what pisses you off, you’re just too soft
So guess what you lost, and for me it costs
Nothing to be an such an asshole, it’s just my role
It gives me a pathetic sense of control, cuz in IRL I’m powerless
It’s cathartic, I must have no soul, maybe it’s cowardice
But for my trick you still fell
Maybe I’m going to hell
But for a laugh this good my soul I would sell

There’s no good reason
That my behavior’s so displeasing
Only one objective for this invective,
you’d think you’d get a clue
but no you’re a fool,
The answer to this cancer is that I’m just cruel
You ask why but just as you post that reply
I say bye bye
Simply because cuz I’m:
(Trolling trolling tolling)
(outro)
(Me: You’ve been tricked)
(Hahahaha gotchu)
(Trolling trolling trolling)
(I’m right because I just am!)
(Sucka)
(Trolling trolling trolling)
(Can I join your safe space?)
(Click this link!)
(Trolling trolling trolling)
(Delete system 32)
(Trolling trolling trolling)
(Is mayonnaise a gender?)
(trolling trolling trolling
(How’s this for an opinion)
(Trolling trolling trolling)
(What you just said was so retarded)
(Trolling trolling trolling)
(I got nothing better to do)
(trolling trolling trolling)
You’re getting trolled bitch.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEzG-5VsauI]

>>19550641
Dammit just become the guy who is always bald and wears sunglasses.

>>19550561
It is pretty funny that the second thread that the trolls and spammers made is just discussing what the real thread is doing

>>19550601
A lot of things. Your post written at 09:00:00, my own unableness to decide on what I want from my life, depression and general confusion.

For the last couple of weeks this girl in my book club has walked out with me and given me straight up looks that scream "please ask me out." I don't know how I feel about her but I got kinda put off by her describing a book's main character as an "incel" but in general she's kinda fun to talk to about /lit/ stuff with and she's pretty average-looking.

>>19550508
>sudden feeling of emptiness
>can't focus on anything, nothing feels right
>start to question my direction in life, my recent past, my plans for the future
>evolves into a crisis about all my my closely held values and beliefs
>begin to wonder if my understanding of reality itself isn't horribly mistaken
>feel an overwhelming sense of dread
>there's an evil presence
>my chest hurts, my stomach hurts, there's an uncomfortable tingling throughout my body
>i'm going to fucking die
>seeing twisted, disfigured faces forming in the darkness
>hear the groans and lamentations of the dead
>hyperventilating now and on the verge of tears
>surely i am already in hell
then i drank 3 or 4 beers and i am perfectly fine. doing well, even. how come nobody ever talks about this?

>>19550745
DO IT
you have nothing to lose

>>19550745

Ask her to hang out. You're not getting married, Anon.

>>19550753
I guess not, my only concern is that it makes book club awkward if it doesn't pan out. Also I'm leaving the state for winter break in 5 days so I was thinking about waiting until next semester. I could ask her out to lunch on discord, but she's pretty slow to respond (and I'm asking her out over fucking discord).

>>19550758
>You're not getting married
but funny enough her last name is my middle name

>>19550794
Ask her out in person and make plans to hang out once you come back and hang out before you leave for a few days.

>>19550641
His baby BTFO'd me. I demand an investigation. This was a hate crime.

these threads are stupid. people just talking with themselves where nobody replies. I've read maybe 5 replies on this thread and I stopped caring and I feel everyone is like this. I feel the same way about social media, I don't care about your vacation picture so probably no one would care if I posted anything but there it is, instagram exists, threads like these exist, people still expecting that someone replies and give an opinion, I'm probably like that too. Often we are taking a moral highground when calling normies NPCs but we are all the same. These empty threads remind me of brainless scrolling through youtube and instagram reels.

>>19550508
mmm just sex
and the conundrum of how the working class will over come its false hatred of the left and realize its true enemy is the one trying to destroy its democratic institutions and further enforce the perpetual slave state that is America.

>>19550508
if only i'd never been born, and hadn't seen all the evil that's done under the sun

>>19550865
you just described the left

>>19550508
Looks like comic book art.

>>19550896
i described a true intellectual in 2021
and
well really
i made a a bit of a joke

>>19550508
i wonder what it's like for other people

What if the drugs we consider 'street drugs' like heroin and cocaine were forcibly prescribed by doctors whereas drugs like prozac were illegal street drugs?

Could this work as a dystopian novel?

>>19550561
>New thread is made.
>The trolls/spammer makes a return despite making his own thread
The schizophrenia that generals brings will always confuse me.

>>19550975
I know, it's literally three schizos spamming. I wonder what it will take for the mods to do anything.

>>19551015
Does /lit/ even have mods or Jannies?

I dreamed I pounded a twink last night. He said I was too big and in pain though so went to cry in the bathroom. I woke up and was relieved to see I didn’t wet my bed with coom but my right testicle aches and the scrambled egg around it is hard and swollen.

>>19550561
>sffg/
Never have I seen a more schizophrenic general than sffg. Literally the new thread is just three anons shitting it up and spamming it. How and why mods won’t moderate it is beyond my comprehension. >>19550909

>>19551171
That’s a hot dream also I relate to the twink in your dream cause my boyfriend’s dick is too damn big

>>19550853
I don’t ever expect anyone to reply to me ITT, it’s my personal territory. My one man show. It’s all between me and me. I love myself and I want to fuck myself

For years it has felt that I have been in some kind of fever dream and I'm just trying to wake up. Every time I wake up, It's like I'm waking up in another layer of a dream. It doesn't feel like I'm ever gonna wake up from this dream, and I feel dreadful because of that.

>>19550508
>cured my previous Oneitis-hopelessly in love with a taken girl-situation after 3 fucking years
>by falling in love with another girl who is equally unattainable due to a variety of circumstances
Motherfucker, I have serious issues catching feelings too easily. Perhaps I'm still infantile compared to my peers, I blame the super late puberty.
At least we got to fuck.
Anyhow, has anyone read Thomas Mann? I got The Death in Venice, but have no experience with him. Germans, what's your take on him?

>>19550601
I don't like writing stuff down, I just think about it again. If you have trouble remembering, then a journal is most definitely very useful.

>>19551273
>I have serious issues catching feelings too easily
Do you know what right and wrong is?

>>19551238
Either the twink put a hex on my balls for hurting him or I kicked/kneed them during the night. Thankfully, the pain has mostly gone now.

>https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/justice-department-announces-largest-health-care-fraud-settlement-its-history

so-called leftists will harangue you endlessly until you let this same corporation inject their product in your bloodstream. the absolute state...

>tfw i realize all the women around me in public are naked under their clothes

>>19544249
>It's like I'm overwhelmed by the feeling that what I'm doing is futile, or too slow, or I should be doing something else

i feel this way about reading fiction but not non-fiction


>>19545667
read what you're interested in and not what you think you should read

cut back on over-stimulating habits that abuse your reward system (internet / porn / video games)

>>19545732
i always read with headphones on playing white/pink/whatever noise


>>19549202
teaching valuable life lessons / how to live better

>>19551631
source?

>>19550575
stop shitposting

your mind is distracted by the responses that you get or will get

>>19551649
>stop shitposting
I'm like a shark, if I stop shitposting I will sink into the abyss and die

>>19551290
you'd be surprised at what you forget

also it's about ingraining and focusing on what's important

i seriously doubt you remember every valuable thought you've had

>>19551294
I think I'm too stupid to answer this correctly, but I generally consider myself to be pretty morally well oriented and normal.
I grew up in an environment where men aren't supposed to care about anything, it's kind of a bummer, but it still lingers in my head. If I genuinely love a girl I will literally think to myself "lmao what a loser".

>>19550508
I prefer black women, they are stronger than white women and I feel that they are much more fit for my high masculinity. White women are as weak as children and I am not a pedo, is very weird to fuck them. It seems to be the same also from their perspective, white women aren't really interested in me while black women crave for my white cock. Anyone else feels like me?

>>19550853
i've been only been here about 5 times but after reading a few depressing comments im just thinking "what am i doing here. im gonna go read a book"

like right now

>>19551657
that's just like your opinion, brother

>>19551585
the way you view people affects how they treat you

>>19551676
Black women are hot because they're assertive and confident, but it's impossible to find one who isn't a dirty ratchet bitch whose crackhead brother will kill you. White women are safer bets but yeah they are all this horrible combination of conceited smug false confidence and pathetic crybaby weakling. Asian girls are just boring and sexless most of the time, except for whitewashed Asians with rich dads, who are just white bitches but worse and somehow even dumber than your usual woman.

Latina women can be fun but they are full blown retarded. You ever listened to one talk?

>>19551676
Have you ever tried black femboys? They might be what you were looking for.

>>19551686
Based

>>19551706
>black femboys
Not that anon but they are my biggest fantasy. My dick gets so hard at the thought of fucking an effeminate black boy. When they are beautiful their features are much more feminine, full lips, round face, almond eyes etc. And dark skin looks so good during sex.

>>19551691
I once fucked a latina, it was like heaven, black character with light skin.
>>19551706
No, I am not a faggot.

Femboys by ethnicity ranking (biased)

South Asian > Black > Eastern European (Slavic) = East Asian >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Western European

I miss school even though it was never real

>>19551722
You know what? You might be right. I always thought that fucking black women is the best if is done from the back, so fucking a black boy's anus is basically the same thing, at least if he is on hrt and has a fat ass.

kike kuck kook kick kock
this is my mantra

>>19551763
Kek, this is why I love /wwoym/. Quality discussion.

huggy and kissy booboo ;3

one of my light bulbs has gone out. it is unfortunately still bright enough to read.

>>19551706
>>19551722
>>19551763
please stop, I don't want to be horny anymore

where do fantasies come from? I talk to a pretty girl, then an hour later I'm thinking about what it would be like if we dated, what if we got married and had kids, what our home life would be like. why does this happen? any psychology books that explore this?

>>19550508
I want to find out more about these trannies and shills on this site. It doesn't feel like it is run by a human, or of it is, few humans actually stand out. This leads me to the conclusion that it is easy to find who is bot, who is AI, and who is human.

>>19552126
I know the feel. There's one avatarfag on this board who I would really like to see in person, just to know who they are. I've been collecting information on them which they accidently let slip in our interactions.

I wonder why I am so lucid and highly philosophical when I skip meals. As I stuff food down my throat this state start withering away.

I don’t want to start a meaningless friend so I’ll this here: should I read the stranger or the myth of Sisyphus first? I’m trying to get into existentialism.

I’m a fag who likes twinks but from a straight/bi perspective I have no idea why you’d choose femboys. Yuck, all of them.

>>19552234
`They are cute/sexy AND they have dicks

>>19552019
It's reassuring to see posts like this and remember I'm not the only one who has these things.
I've seen it referenced in "normie" circles too, such as big Instagram pages and so forth. It seems to be a common thing.

I found this so soothing.

>>19552310
I have never seen an angel. Life is so boring

>>19552310
Wait until you read the big book of angels.

>>19552316
Someone told me a story about their car getting a flat out on some remote road and this guy luckily came by and quietly changed their tire out. They claimed it was an angel and that’s what they look like. So ordinary people doing nice things aren’t credited (they’re evil) it’s always gotta be angels

>>19552209
Read Kirkegaard first.

>>19552332
How do you know it wasnt an angel?

>>19552339
I happened upon a stalled car in the middle of the road some years back. I put my bicycle aside and went to help push it out of the way. “God bless” she said. I ran back to my bike

>>19552336
Fear and trembling to start?

>>19550651
>>19550655
Good shit bro. You're actually good at rapping.

>>19552332
Angel is more of a state of mind than a special organism

>>19552385
Artemis is more a state of mind than a special organism

>>19552368
I think the usual starting point is Either/Or

>>19552332
my friend once was driving through the alps in an old renault that belonged to his grandfather. and as they got near the top of the hill the road covered, the car began to sputter and slow down. but they made it over the crest and as they drove down the other side they found the accelerator was no longer accelerating. but it was steep enough, they coasted for some time before coming to a stop on the side of a flat part of the road. they thought something must have gone wrong with the engine, so they got out and popped the hood, only to find out the entire engine had dropped out the bottom of the car some time back. fortunately someone driving past picked them up and took them in to town. I think they just left the car where it was. maybe it's still there.

>>19550641
Dont listen too >>19550645 >>19550848 you're prof was being a dick
Allso some progresives do look down on that sort of thing but alot of people just think adopting x ideology makes them good inherently. I dont know your prof but thats something I see all the time.

>>19550651
Patrick is that you

>>19550508
Holy fuck, I need sleep. Holy fuck, I need a job. I'm too retarded to work, but not retarded enough for welfare. People respect me and find me smart. This only increases their disappointment in me when I fail. I support UBI because it enables me, it would enable me, to enjoy the priviliges of being a welfare-drain NEET without the social stigma. I don't want to die, but I have nothing to live for. I'm just trying to outlive my parents. I'm scared they expect me to have kids. I'm sexually attracted to women, but I don't want to be. Just let me fade into non-existence as soon as my parents kick the bucket.

>>19550508
It' nearly impossible to find Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship in print. It's a crime against humanity.

fuck this faggotry, I am leaving 4chan

rate me guys <3

>>19552615
Attractive

Why the cross though, are you Christian?

Is there any extra-canonical text that describes anyone outside of Noah's ship surviving the Biblical flood? The descendants of Cain were smiths, right? Wouldn't they be (more) likely to fashion an ark?

>>19552624
thank you
I just think that it looks nice :)

>>19552592
See you tomorrow, fag.

>>19552615
Very cute

>>19552615
Ugly nigger tranny

>>19552615
your lipstick is gorgeous

>everyone itt simping over a chlamydia nigger tranny
absolute state of

Google shut down because of a cyberterrorist threat concerning confidential CIA documents

>>19552820
google.com works bro

>>19552812
Beauty should always be praised.

>>19552829
That creature isnt beautiful

>>19552019
There are things that we want even if we're not fully aware that we want them. It's your subconscious trying to push you towards it.

>>19552615
ngl but I feel like jerking off to this

>>19552458
<3 artemis

Why so much lust posting?

>>19553141
We are horny

Which book to start with Tolstoy?

Years and years of stacking up bouts of debauchery. I've been building a tower of degeneracy for a long time now.
The Tower of Pisa tilts at an angle of 3.9 degrees and still stands. I wonder what angle my tower will make it to before it all comes crashing down.
https://youtu.be/Bxoe_qkAr9Q

>>19553235
I just jumped right in to war and peace and enjoyed it

I just knocked something off my desk but I am not sure what it was and I am attached to too many cables to check

The word "bussy" is an atrocity to the English language.

>>19553531
This, no cap

Do you have a sense of what you should do with your life but just can’t seem to actualize it?

Do you ever feel like you’re destined for great things, but open your eyes to see only mediocrity?

>>19550508
In about a week I'll be going to see a movie with a girl from one of my classes along with 4 of her friends (who I have a sneaking suspicion will be gay) and her boyfriend. Throughout the semester it seems we've a lot in common. She's very nice and has frequently come to me for help with classwork, expressing her gratitude many times and calling me smart. Is there any way to turn the situation to my advantage and make her mine? I haven't done anything too stupid yet.

>>19553613
No, I have complete faith in myself to actualize it.
I have no desire to do "great things".

>>19553632
Just be honest, bro. More reasonably, find someone else.

pige

>>19553637
>Just be honest, bro. More reasonably, find someone else.
This has not worked in the past.

>>19550508
i was born with no soul, i have no moral agency, i am an animal formed into a mockery of God's own image. i am doomed to pursue my instincts as if by an external force i have no power to fight

>>19553653
It usually won't work, people are with who they want to be with. For her to leave him for you she has to be a flake or you have to be of higher quality than her boyfriend(and she has to be attracted to you in the first place).

>>19553652
what the fuck is that?

>>19553681
people should stop using that reply

>>19553711
i think it's funny and i will continue to post some variation of it every time i see a picture of a tapir

>>19553726
I also think it's funny, anon. Thanks for the chuckle.

>>19553726
pige are my favourite animal

I have always been so adept and accepting with solitude that I've only managed to pick up in bits and pieces the ways that people fight against it. I see people dressed up for Saturday night walking the streets and in bars: they've practiced these strategies for avoiding loneliness, it is not difficult for them. For me these things are impossible. Loneliness never stung enough for me to have to make plans against it.

>>19553681
pige

I fear that the darkness inside me will take over.

>>19552209
>>19552336
>>19552209
read the wiki page on existentialism

then read 'existentialism: a very short introduction'

>spent the whole day smoking cigarettes and playing pyramid solitaire again

I wonder what it's like to be one of those people who actually values themselves for existing instead of what they can do. All my life I've tried to prove that I have value. It's led me into constant competition with others to prove myself, and if I fail even once I immediately get hit with a crushing sense of shame and self-hatred

So, I'm taking this ssri sleep aid right?
It just dampens the central nervous system so my breathing and anxiety become hi-jacked. So, I just lie there, right? feeling heavy in the head, floating in and out of consciousness, sometimes dreaming and sometimes somewhere in between. Kind of nice, kind of neauseating.
Anyways, around every 5 minutes the brain does this sort of cursory vibe-check where it regains a bit of consciousness, and realizes I have no idea when I last took a breath, and plays out a lot like this south park bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XievwJSLeE

And in the drugged stupor I can sometimes fall out of bed doing this, or when I pass this hurdle, I get sleep paralysis dreams where I'm traveling around a bizzaro facsimile (dream rendition) of my house with heavy eyes, crashing into all the stuff in my house, or chasing some ghost woman, until I wake up in my bed, only I'm still not really awake and just lay there, trying to figure out how to wake up/what the fuck is going on
Anyways, it is the worst feeling and I can't help but occassionally looking forwards to it somewhat.
Somehow doctors recommend this medication at like 3x the dosage I'm supposed to take for sleep (1/4 of it kmtfo) and I have no idea how these people would even be considered mentally present in daily life. I would use this medication to placate schizos and tismos but anyone with a shred of self-consciousness should probably tell their doctor to fuck right off if they say "bro take this for your depression lol".
Literally seems like a schizophrenia gateway drug, or the equivelant of being on a low dose of ambien 24/7. I don't know.
What about you.

>>19554026
didn't read, horrible pic, kys

I think I'm going to fuck my old co-worker tonight. We've been out twice. First date was just as friends, but she almost immediately turned the conversation toward suggestions that her bf was becoming boring to her, complaining that he's unemployed, and getting sick of him blaming people for things. She made two separate comments about something I did, saying, "THAT's what women look for in a man." I played it cool, kept to the "friend date" etiquette.
Right away, that night even, she was still texting me. I made some comment on her artwork (on IG) being "neat", and she DM'd me, "I wanted you to think it was more than 'neat'." She said we should hang out again. Turns out something came up, but she still vowed to meet up with me. She drove to the opposite side of town just to have coffee with me for 30 minutes. She had a lot to say, and was clearly happy to see me. Physical touching slightly escalated, but I was still playing it cool.
She text me again last night, admitting she was stoned. Then today I invited her to a party, and right away said yes. (It's usually really annoying to invite people to parties because they usually flake, answer late, or say maybe.)
The party is at the apartment of a mutual acquaintance, but basically I'm the only person she knows.

Any tips about cues, etc, that I should be picking up tonight? She's pretty forward with me, and I plan on testing the waters tonight.

>>19554027
thanks, I''m professionally retarded

>>19554035
ew

>>19554035
just be aware that any chick that starts fucking a new guy before breaking up with her current bf will do that to you later when she decides she can do better. my sister has done this her whole life, and every time the guys act like it's so unfair, meanwhile i'm just smirking like uh did already forgot how you guys got together?

>>19554026
>>19554027
>anime pic
>pharmaceutical industry victim
got to ssri and dropped it

>>19554079
I forgot I dropped the file, not even sure why its on the computer.
Also,
>pharmaceutical industry victim
I prefer the term
>Pharmaceutical connoisseur

>>19554072
Oh, I'm not planning on dating her. We're both in our mid-thirties, and people our age don't usually flock to unsteady relationships. Plus I get the feeling that she's depressed, aside from the fun we have together, and it's a huge red flag for me. She's kind of a yuppie, and all the social decorum shit is something I can't get with. We're really different. Basically I come from a blue-collar background, and I'm a total homebody and I don't give a hoot about her gay arthouse friends, and she knows it. Also, she hinted ever so slightly that she thinks her boyfriend is bisexual.
>inb4 who asked

>>19554115
oh if she's a yuppie even culturally then she must be seething that her bf turned out to be a loafer

>>19554035
Don't participate in adultery bro.

>>19554124
Her boyfriend is weird as hell. Turns out he's a rich Jew, and he's limp-wristed and kind of annoying (I think he was high when we met). He pays for their apartment, but basically lives like a slob, gets high all the time, and ignores her. Meeting him, I get why she's looking elsewhere. Long-haired cardigan-wearing ginger "experimental music composer" canvas-shoes-with-no-socks IPA sipping mfer.

>>19553940
No

I don't know if I should end communication with the girl who I've been talking to for the past two years. We live in different countries, and when we were planning our meeting, everything was fine. We talked everyday, were flirty, and it seemed like our relationship was going in the right direction. A few months before the trip, when my visa came in, I think the realization of what was actually happening hit her and she started to act different and told me she doesn't know if she feels the same about the relationship as me. I just spent a month with her in her country and it was amazing, but now that I'm home, I feel like we have drifted further apart than ever. I don't know if I should keep trying in hopes of her one day feeling the same way as I do, or if I should just walk away now

>>19554154
Bro, you already know the answer. Sucks, but she's basically let you know in so many words. Plenty of ladies out there.

>>19554169
She did let me know she didn't know how she felt about the relationship, but a few days ago, she also told me two years isn't a long time before a relationship starts and that I should keep trying because she doesn't know how she will feel in the future. I've been trying to ghost her, but everyday she text or calls me about why I'm not answering her messages. I'm in love with her, but I'm tired of being jerked around and the signals are so mixed, I don't know what to think

>>19554215
Tell her that there are things you need from her and that she isn't giving them to you and if she can't you can't continue the relationship. Being with someone that wont or can't reciprocate is torture.

>>19550508
Schizos are derailing /sffg/ and mods won’t do shit.

>>19554152
not gonna make it

>>19550508
I am doing the last assignment of the last class I have before I am officially done with school. I have submitted my letter of intent to withdraw from the program and paid my student loans. I am debt free and free to pursue new opportunities that won't suck my soul. I feel bad about having wasted three semesters on this program but at least now I know teaching isn't for me. I'm only doing this assignment out of a sense of integrity, but that's almost not enough at this rate; the virtual fieldwork I'm doing is the most dull, boring, pointless assignment I've done in every class so far. But after this I'm free. And the sooner I stop procrastinating the sooner I'll be free. I could be a free man by the time I go to sleep tonight.

In fact, I think I will.

I wrote a long post about what was on my mind earlier (originally a response in another thread that's still up but would be pointless to post in the thread) but thought better of posting it. I'd like to wait a little and see if it's something I want other people to see. This is how 80% of my posts die.

>>19554751
It's anonymous. Just do it.

Trying to practice what I'm going to say to this girl on Wednesday and I'm choking up just at the thought of it. She makes me so happy.

>>19554760
(1/2)
I suppose I should toughen up at some point. Why not now.

I'm struggling with a similar problem (minus anal fixation). I'm not religious but I read from the bible here and there, and though I don't see it as the word of God currently I do see wisdom in it that should be seriously meditated upon.
For my own beliefs it's necessary that I not masturbate or indulge in porn, among other distractors. I don't have sex, which is the greater battle for me to win (and easy to resist temptation besides), but to live in accordance with my selected creed I must abolish watching porn and masturbating too. I essentially think that indulging in sexual gratification is succumbing to evolutionary programming in the worst sense, in a way that robs one of a greater degree of agency in life for nothing. The goal of biological life is reproduction from a classical scientific perspective, but I disagree that it's a proper ultimate goal for any forward-thinking (and admittedly supremely selfish) individual, from both a "perspectual" account in which the good in life is only ever experienced via one's "embodied experience," which I assume ends at death (I do so because it seems the safest assumption to make in the real uncertainty of what happens after death if for no other reason), and the reality of genetic inheritance even 10 generations from the production of your offspring: ½ of what one can arguably say is "you" is contributed at the outset of successful reproduction and more genetic "strangers" are introduced at each reproductive step thereafter, such that the "unique substance" of you is quickly diluted to virtual nothingness. To my apprehension, biological evolution only works towards bare persistence of life in the universe, it has no ultimate preference for individuals or even species as an iterative, time-bound process. But bare subsistence is hardly a good reason to exist for ambitious people, and a slavish, unthinking predilection to eating, breathing, and copulating isn't an indication of agency nor does it satisfy my craving for "significance." I consider the assertion that there should be more to life than evolutionary programming essential, but a horror of existing as we do, from my prior attempts at reason, is that life requires no more than subsistence directed by programming and this insidious yet "circumscribing" force is too easy to tacitly accept, and personally terrifying that I am not immune to its influence. If my insistence for a kind of "greatness" or "freedom" is the root of my suffering I am happy to suffer for it, but I don't think it is. There are other more likely variables to consider.

>>19554832
(2/2)
Let me clarify one thing: I don't see all of evolutionary programming as undesirable, mostly that which dictates reproduction because I don't think it leads anywhere for what I find to actually be good (something that is more extensible and reliable about living, and that which can better justify eating and breathing) and I care no more for the worthless quintillions of future alien minds than the first mammal cared about our worthless billions*. The only evidence I can produce of my agency right now is voluntary action, which I must believe I have the capability for if I am to have that degree of agency required for a baseline of worthwhile living.
Now you can see the problem with my masturbating, I'm directly proving that my voluntary action isn't controlled by any "higher principle," what must be motivating it is that preprogrammed drive steering me to nowhere. It helps prove the argument that I have no agency, that my every action is circumscribed by an evolutionary programming which cannot consider my best interests.

*Again I admit I feel this way because I'm ultimately very selfish, but I fail to see the necessity of other people besides their extrinsic utility, for which an obvious move is to pretend to "well-adjusted" sociality to procure labor towards one's own interests. Not nearly enough people seriously ask why other people are worth not being selfish for, and among those who actually produce an answer, how many propose one which engenders love as opposed to merely recognizing some tyranny of sociality, which produces only reasons to fear others? Religion does tend to answer these questions handily, but they require a submission to a system of beliefs I always find difficult to freely give.

>>19551673
To know what is right and wrong, first you have to know what is true. To figure out what is true, you must think for yourself. Once you have that figured out, all you have to do is be righteous. A person who is righteous has confidence, because everything they do, they believe it to be right.

>>19550508
Am I jaded to the point where morals don't even fucking matter and all atrocities are justified so long as it benefits me? My fellow "peers" wouldn't blink to do so to me, so why should I hesitate?

>>19550749
>how come nobody ever talks about this?
cuz it sucx

>>19554905
>My fellow "peers" wouldn't blink to do so to me, so why should I hesitate?
Do you not see the irony in that question?

>>19552135
which one?
pic very much related

i am going insane

>>19552332
>>19552367

>>19555241
I'm not going to say, I don't want them to be more careful with their words

I resolved to kill myself. I'm in the process of purchasing a gun to do it with. I'm saving money to cover my funeral costs so as not to burden my parents. And now I met a girl. She told me she likes me. It's giving me second thoughts. But I know this is temporary. I wanna die.

>>19555322
go spend time with that girl faggot

heterophenomenological

heterophenomenological
death harrows when psalms bellow lethargical
Heterophonological
drones of liturgical breaths barrel
astrally rapidly gallantly happily blindly,
mantras rabid each fragment and scrap lined
the mind with traps and stagnant vapid yantras,
each shine with scraps of abscent Sanskrit tantras
each key abundant each grab none when spent,
a repugnant redundancy dependent on transcendent aberrants of commandments
from men’s senseless endless restless headless
jealousy of the sublime trinity’s divine simplicity.

it feels like everyone is kind of just giving up on life

>>19555322
If this girl can shake your resolve you weren't serious.

>>19555322
go out with her

>>19555353
they've got to you and me both brother
what can we do about this?

>>19555374
im making pipe bombs /s thanks for the gold

How can i be so close to enlightment and yet be so rotten. My land lies in ruin but this disastrous state of affairs somehow has edged me closer to god, or perhapts it is not a god i worship? I find it strange how innocent i am but most importantly how that innocence reveals itself to me. It shows itself it to me when i am drowning in the terror of my own corruption. But this is too abstract, too arrogant

It is simple, i posess certain knowledge, i posess certain wisdom but i look down upon others, i see myself as something higer, as something privileged by nature. My pride has ruined me, and i try to reconcile myself with the miserable life of the proud creature, as to not face the humiliation of degrading myself before myself. I am a tyrant. I am a Warlord. I love violence. I love succeeding over others. I love superiority. I love victory. I love improvement. I want to bend the world to my will. I want to bend people to my will. These desires have turned into pervesions, sick, corrupted beings that i use to punish those around me, most cowardly, only in my thoughts. Being shocked by the darkness in my heart, which denies everything that my nature commands of me, being undermined and overturned, being betrayed by my own desire for revenge, i try to prove to myself through outward acts that i am anything but that. I wish to make myself a Saint. And i help people, who are in need, while hating them. I hate my friends while i am loving them. And i help people, who are in need, while hating them. I hate my friends while i am loving them. But i am losing. I have lost. Because i am corrupted by the supposed beauty of such a conflict. It feeds my sense of superiority to live within this self-inflicted violence

Now that i find to be a insightful and precise articulation. It seems clear to me that i have properly, as much as it possible within the realm of reason, articulated the struggle. Yet there is no imperative, no instruction, no manual, on how to proceed. From which grows though an imperative: Ask not for an imperative, a manual, an instruction, do not ask to expect to find out how to proceed. Sharpen your consciousness, that is all. Retain the insight like a mantra, to rearrange your reality. let it be worked into a sharp sword, by hammer, by flame, observe and make sure that it survives the process of crafting. No more shortcuts. They dont work

I feel physically and intellectually exhausted, like there’s just nothing left in there. I wish I could get my creativity and feeling back.

I want to find someone to exchange letters with. Preferably female and attractive.

>>19555322
Everything but the girl

I won't find the answer to my problems on 4chan.org/lit/catalog. Everyone is always too pissed.

read 35 pages today
I will finish a book in 2021. Thank god

>>19555668
True. Have you tried asking anyway, though?

>>19555307
don't worry, I won't tell them

>>19555668
Also, is it a question that can't be solved with some googling and a modicum of independent research?

>>19555698
Yeah, I like sharing. That's one of my problems actually. Recently when I talk to anyvody, I see the look on their face and know they think I'm a hopeless retard. But I also know they are too cowardly to spit it out, beacuse maybe in truth it is him who is the hopeless retarad. Its my burden to bear, and it shows me a righteous person.

>>19550508
there are people on this planet who walk around everyday completely at ease with themselves and their station in life. people who aren't in a state of constant dread and don't resent the fact that they were born. how is it possible for these people to exist? how do i become one of theM?

What would you recommend for someone considering suicide?

>>19555728
When you feel that people silently pity your stupidity it's far worse than someone outright calling you a retard, iktf.
I don't see how just putting up with it makes you righteous though. I also have a problem with sharing when I shouldn't given my beliefs. I don't talk to enough people anymore, but when I had to I left the impression on most that I was "smart." If so, it's a pithy standard to celebrate.

>>19550508
Your state of mind is determined by the chemicals floating around in your brain, so take good care of your body, eat most raw food include raw milk and godspeed !

>>19555754
The only people qualified to tell you are dead anon. The only quick painless method is putting a gun in your mouth with the barrel point upward (like the Joker practiced in the movie). All the other methods sound awful. Like for example getting a bucket of ice and putting an arm in it until it is completely numb then cutting straight across your wrist where arm meets hand and then diagonally down your arm some inches and then straight down as far as you can go. That sounds fucking painful to me but apparently it isn’t

>>19555795
I mean agonising not painful. I feel like what you want to reduce is agony in your death and not pain, pain is a side thing, and most painless methods of suicide sound nauseating and agonising

>>19555795
I was thinking more along the lines of books.

>>19555754
Oh you weren’t asking about methods, you were probably asking what kind of help there is, oops, well I would reach out to friends and speak to a doctor if possible and consider meds and reading DFW’s Suicide As a Sort of Present and keep a tight support group. But all of this is very easy to say and think about, you have to want to get help or it doesn’t work

My brother is a total failure. Somehow in nearly 30 years, he hasn’t managed to learn how to just grow up.

>>19555822
Read this https://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/HarpersMagazine-1998-01-0059425.pdf
And other DFW imo

>>19555806
Exit bags don't sound bad at all and I've considered using one myself. I don't want to kill myself for straightforward but unconventional reasons, though. The peaceful pill handbook has a section devoted to it.
>>19555754
If you want books convincing you not to do it that depends on your beliefs, for which you should do some digging. Start with searches for modified forms of "famous arguments against suicide" or something. Those might not give you reasons you agree with or even necessarily good ones, but they should make you consider why they're wrong (and so also promote ideas of what's worth living for), from which you can make even more informed decisions about when you want to die.

>>19555835
Information is not what is needed I think. No books seem to really get to the issue.

>>19555850
Not that anon but Well what’s probably needed is a support group, meds, a creative outlet, a strained effort to be open & honest about feelings, but he asked for books

>>19555769
The people who pity my stupidity resist the fact that we exist on communicable terms. I'm sorry anon, but I can't communicate the profundity of this fact. It is "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them," it is the spirit of fraternity, it is the meaning of life. I've regarded it a few times. The first time when as a child I visited Afghanistan with my mother, I peered back out the van and met the gaze of a man lost in the bustling crowds of a Khyber Pass. I broke his frown with a smile, and he smiled back. The latest, some discussions from a power level hiding fascist in highschool french class.

It makes me righteous because to the depths of my soul I am prepared to embrace any individual in their totality. But this entire satanic world seeks to destroy this beauty through my very own person. I am bitter, because these people need only the will for things to be different. If they ever do, who is to say I wouldn't have already forgotten my way. Convinced it was "necessary". God save us.

>>19555868
Your posts remind me of sci schizoposter named montano, his blogposts, that anheroed last year. His blog name is vitrifyher

Is it really worth creating anything if every time I try I get ignored or shit on? I know I'm supposed to ignore other people's opinions, but that's fucking stupid. I create things to share them with others, otherwise what's the point of creating them at all instead of just imagining them. If I don't need them and the people I give them to don't want them, why bother attempting anything?

>>19555891
Ur supposed to create and imagine everyone else loves it but doesn’t deserve it and don’t show anyone ever

>>19555891
>pic related
bros... I've been waiting for it for almost 30 years...

>>19555850
I doubt I can render any aid but I'll tell you the basic reason I don't on the off-chance it can help:
I'm neither religious nor particularly close to anyone to justify living. The blissful state of mind I wade into when appreciating some insight into the universe's apparent beauty and complexity, or just enjoying the process of my own cognition about even my present experience compelling enough that suicide seems an awful waste of worthwhile experience (at its best an ecstasy that's difficult to describe).

I just rescued a stray cat. He’s hurt and probably has worms. He’s very affectionate, purring nonstop and sleeping on my lap.
I’m keeping him isolated and taking him to the vet for a checkup in the morning. I have two other cats and don’t want to risk them catching anything from him.
I’m very worried. Although my other cats are strays as well, this is the first one I rescue myself.
I think he’s sleeping right now. He seemed very tired.

>>19555891
Take the schizoid pill and never look back

>>19553367
you mean
the angle
of the dangle?

>>19555881
I know about him. You can read all sorts of people's schizo decent on the internet. Whether they're brilliant or dumb, you can isolate how fixated they get by the most particular things. At the end of the day though I'm an imitator, neither inspired nor talented. The best I can do is look dumb to people, and I don't see how I'll kill myself to that.

Can't speak for these other fags in this thread. Just don't think about it lol.

>>19555868
Based on your examples I'm unsure if this is the same thing, but if you're referring to a sort of "union of mind" that must happen to produce the same meaning (whether through thoughts or images) in two different minds at the same time (rendering communication possible) then I do have an idea what you mean, perhaps you even mean something more like a belief that you share not only the general signifiers, but the particulars in some high proportion as well? But from the Khyber Pass incident I don't see how words were communicated in the smile and so infer there was an emotional component instead that was highly affective. Are you referring to something similar with the union of mind, yet also with feeling? A conviction that what's shared at that moment is the same positive emotion, perhaps even ecstatic one, whose mount of glorious feeling could only derive from the divine? That seems like it would be the full complement required to produce the belief of embracing another's totality (albeit in a reductionist sense that the only components are thought and feeling).

What difference do people not harness their will to implement?

I am hyper sensitive to every feeling in my body. I poorly tolerate physical suffering and discomfort. The thought of physically dying terrifies me. Maybe I just need to be around more dying people. It can be terrifying to die, especially from something like covid where you literally suffocate to death, or cancer, where your organs slowly shut down in massive pain.

all the world seems like a sick joke in the face of constant death. every time you do something, someone somewhere is dying in agony. it's very unsettling.

>>19555950
>>19555950
> At the end of the day though I'm an imitator, neither inspired nor talented. The best I can do is look dumb to people, and I don't see how I'll kill myself to that.
Yeah but even there you sound a lot like Montano.
> I am thankful that there is beautiful art, music, and writing but I would be even more thankful if I could seriously contribute. I feel like I am a spectator not entirely from this world
> People achieve ridiculously complex and difficult things with awe-inspiring levels of perfection. Yet when I look at my own abilities I feel totally cut out from being able to participate in that grandiosity. I cannot even begin to create a plane, a video game, a phone, an anime, Amazon, a pencil, a plastic cup, a can of soda, a napkin etc. Ridiculous levels of persistent intelligence, talent, coordination, and conscientiousness are needed for all of this to work
Good imitators make good artists, that’s where they all start from

fuckj im reallly feelijg it.mmmfuckkk
https://youtu.be/UEPGLQAoNFc

>>19556082
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc720XrvXoc

I've had enough. The universe wants be to become a demon.

>>19556082
Kill self n wake up billion years in the future type beat

When you deny someone love, their only option is hate. It is impossible and inconceivable to expect sainthood from the denied. Such spiritual strength is beyond the ken of nearly every soul that walks this earth. Very few can take chronic pain and misfortune and still shine their hearts in love toward God. No. The very most will return the evil inflicted upon them back upon the world, the world, the world which has given them nothing but misery. Few can meet misery with some false joy, with false faith, At a certain point the rot enters a man's mind and its grasp is complete and final. At a certain point the horror overtakes a man's mind. It consumes him, becomes something else; takes over; becomes something far darker, more profound, horrific. Such pain can only seek to make pain universal.

I LET THE BOTTLE SPEAK TO ME FOR I CANNOT SPEAK TO MYSELF.
https://youtu.be/3_al-rdXySQ

>>19556156
Jerky movement blur in crowd of gay European men type beat

>>19556156
i like that artist

At a certain point any man with any integrity a man views this world as something to be destroyed. This is fundamentally the instinct behind all war. To destroy that aspect of the world which contradicts the aspect of one's choosing or familiarity. At a certain point men are driven to destruction, and it goes far beyond them as individuals. It is a natural process. A necessary expression of the social organism. The rationality of war runs deeper than its absurdity. It obliterates a deep blockage. War progresses humanity.

>>19555981
>>19555995
I recklessly attached "communicable terms" to what I'm trying to express. Its something more like a mutual awareness of fate. No matter the person who stands before you, what he says or thinks or does, he is your flesh and your brother. It follows that this must be a deep fear and uncertainty in all people. I am aware of it in myself to some capacity and I feel a responsibility to remind others of it in them, and to even suggest they have the strength to match it. fact and the total oblivious nass that
>but if you're referring to a sort of "union of mind" that must happen to produce the same meaning (whether through thoughts or images) in two different minds at the same time (rendering communication possible) then I do have an idea what you mean, perhaps you even mean something more like a belief that you share not only the general signifiers, but the particulars in some high proportion as well?
I don't have the strength to insist upon meanings, much less a shared meaning, beyond what my job, religion, and country says I have to maintain. I lack the experience to elaborate as I feel would satisfy your questions. Perhaps your questions reflect the nature of what I'm trying to explain better than what I can understand. I sense some irony there, so I would bet that its true.
>Are you referring to something similar with the union of mind, yet also with feeling? A conviction that what's shared at that moment is the same positive emotion, perhaps even ecstatic one, whose mount of glorious feeling could only derive from the divine?
I am fixated on first steps. I fail and continually fail, so even when I can record my progress and see how far I've come, I find myself back on step one. I can't ever be aware or concious of any experience that isn't best described as step 1. Whatever it is I'm desperately trying to get at, I know I can't go about it alone. So can these people really be content at 'step one'? Its late, so I know I'm failing in coherence, but I can imagine passing step 1 with anyone from the avowed atheist to the most sincere lover of Christ. But who are these other people? Can they really be content at 'step 1'? Because if so then I'm fucked! How many of them are there really? It could be a few dozen to billions! I know so many things in life are conditional, and if I accepted that indifference, then I'll see what hell is here and the hereafter.
>What difference do people not harness their will to implement?
That same mutual awareness. Passing 'step 1'. It would take a lot more text vomit to get at anything deeper. Few people deserve reading that, and I bless you for volunteering this far
>Yeah but even there you sound a lot like Montano
> I am thankful that there is beautiful art, music, and writing but I would be even more thankful if I could seriously contribute. I feel like I am a spectator not entirely from this world
If I could imitate 1% of him, that would obliterate all else. Gn anon, and thanks.

>>19556171
Interesting thought

What can be conjured from lakes of blood? Whatever is other than the source of such blood. A new future. The unconscionable duplicity of politicians, the sick greed of bankers, the crude arrogance of the elite, the brutal taxations and offenses of a manipulative system: it can only drown in and drink upon its own blood. And so it shall be.

damn i really fucked up my lungs tonight. they really dont feel well
https://youtu.be/ylfYwWKzFAs

>>19556171
>the shepherd lays eyes on his obliterated village, the bloody bones of his children amid the rubble
"well, on the plus side, humanity is progressing"

A vicious storm hangs over humanity and I am its prophet. It is a lightening of blades and bullets. The very earth is configuring itself toward our doom. We, the unworthy, are selected for extinction. All gods, even the notion of grace, has left us. I foresee a day of judgement which will purge this world of its contradictions. An age of biotic nullity which will follow humanity for untold millennia until a worthy sentient species blinks open its eyes. An atrocious fate awaits us. Barrens and sunless skies will be our legacy for millions upon millions of years until the next evolution of life, until the sun at last fades.

>>19550508
why is it that Christ is never depicted with body hair? he's always bare-chested like pic rel in paintings. and in the Passion of the Christ willem dafoe even shaved his chest for some reason? and just the other day i was reading the novel "Barabbas" and it explicitly described Jesus as being devoid of chest hair
but all the Semites and near easterners i've ever met have been extremely hairy. even amongst less swarthy peoples you never see grown men completely devoid of body hair

Ever since I quit sugar a few weeks back it's like my sense of taste is expanding. Normal food and drink has way more flavor now and it's weird, like before I had to have sugar if I wanted something that potent. I wonder if addiction in general works like this

>>19556082
This group kicks ass

>>19556245
no one want to paint chest hair
tedious

https://youtu.be/rNStVlJWy88

>>19556265
i'm not a painter but it can't realistically be that much more challenging than painting any other part of the body.
and regardless that doesn't account for the absence of hair in film and literary depictions
first century Galileans weren't shaving their chests like a bunch of preening metrosexuals

>>19555754
Suicide is quitting. Quitters never win.

>>19556278
>first century Galileans weren't shaving their chests like a bunch of preening metrosexuals
how do you know?

hair is tedious, fuck you bitch

hairyness is ultra humanness, erotic fleshy humanness

and people want a christ of the spirit, not a christ of the human
so they shave him selectively

>>19555891
>I create things to share them with others, otherwise what's the point of creating them
Until you drop this mindset, you will never be a good artist.

>>19556250
Did you consume much sugar before?

We will retreat into animality. Education has failed. The book has melted in our hand. The love of beauty and art has grown foul and disgusting; nothing pure remains. A great hell has woken itself in the hearts of too many; the core root of human nature has been corrupted. There is no argument, no way to deny this truth. We have polluted ourselves. A deep corruption has ripped us all open.
Without religion, without an answer, all is war. There is no hope in profit. There is no hope in enriching the sick. Nothing is left but anger and hate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB_tGab-t0g

the page flipping
the water stirring
a new hat
a stiff breeze

brown rhododendrons unblossomed unbloomed
calls never answered letters never read

fake satisfaction

missed opportunity

>>19556301
>Nothing is left but anger and hate
I follow a path beyond love and hate!

>>19556288
>how do you know?
even shaving the beard was considered effeminate to the point of being shameful. plus i'm pretty sure it's actually forbidden under Mosaic Law.
>hairyness is ultra humanness, erotic fleshy humanness
yeah maybe if you're a queer with a fetish for body hair. normal people don't make those kinds of associations with it
>and people want a christ of the spirit, not a christ of the human
so they shave him selectively
isn't the whole point that he's embodied in human flesh and experiencing human suffering, doing so in propitiation for human sins? regardless i don't see how body hair removal distances you from the flesh

>>19556314
page dont flip themselves
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

>>19556330
oh
Mosaic Law
is that a thing?
MOSAIC LAW??

>>19556339
yes i do believe most first century Judeans would avoid openly defying it in such a brazen way. there were serious social consequences for that kind of thing. ostracization, loss of livelihood, being denied access to the temple. certainly wouldn't go over well

>>19556292
Yeah, I've actually consumed lots of artificial sugar every day since childhood. Even though I solved my weight problem in high school, I still relied on sugar a ton.
This sort of changed 1-2 years ago when I stopped putting sugar in my coffee, and then about a month ago when I quit all artificial sugars altogether. And now I think my depression might be lifting. Something is definitely changing within my body.

I feel uncomfortable telling people what I'm gonna do with my life. Especially regarding career. Maybe I'm superstitious but every time I've said my plans out loud to someone it never seems to work out. The more I am tight lipped I am about it the more likely it works out. I've been telling people about getting into writing when people inquire and now I'm a little worried it may not pan out the way I want.

>>19556379
It's because you seek validation. I assume you to be insecure, am I right?

I am watching black people react to cringe compilations on youtube again

>>19556415
cringe

fanging out messages to my Hinge matches

>>19556430
Imagine if the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit were three black guys on a couch reacting to your life.

>>19556447
I would never disrespect my father in such a way. God would never sit on a couch.

>>19556447
holy shit kek

>>19556359
id ask you to paint a picture
but perhaps you should make me A MOSAIC

We don’t bounceback, elasticity’s not the name
But we bound forward after a pulled rubberband
all the same, all the same

>>19556473
i'm teaching myself to draw at the moment and once i'm confident in my skills i will draw a hairy swarthy Jesus for you
just to show you that it's not a big deal and you're being a big fucking baby about it

>>19556497
^ this is for you
>>19555322
and you
>>19555891

>>19556529
no
i want a
MOSAIC

>>19556550
anon i'm not gonna learn to make mosaics just to post hairy mosaic Jesus on 4chan
i wouldn't even know where to start

>>19556582
just start
strt now
i need hairy glass jesus

>>19556584
maybe some day, if i find the time and motivation, i'll do it special just for you

>>19556590
young boys need it special

>>19556404
Maybe.

>>19555322
I don't believe in coincidences. Do you?

>>19556607
Don't do things for validation. Do them because you truly want to. If you can do that, you can be happy.

why does this happen:

so i texted this girl, she was not that into me but after she ghosted me i started having auditorial hallucinations of talking with her a lot, she was telling me how our love is real love, that its all part of the plan to not respond to me so that we gain real deep connection and telling me what to do and what not to do and it stopped, but in reality she's just minding her own business not thinking of me at all, putting pictures from vacations etc.

Why did i deserve this? What did i do wrong for this to happen to me? What kind of a brain malfunction is this?

>>19557155
because you are insane. move on you freak

>>19557192
i know im insane, but why does this happen?
maybe i cling so much to the idea that i want consistency and permanency in my social relations, but i cant get that cause everybody else doesnt care and just roll with the everlasting change?

>>19556365
What do you eat?

Today,... the immigrants—above all the Jewish immigrants—seem
more American than [the WASP] does. They are the faces and voices
and inflections of thought that seem most familiar to us, literally
second nature. [The WASP] is the odd ball, the stranger, the fossil. We
glance at him, a bit startled and say to ourselves, “Where did he go?”
We remember him: pale, poised, neatly dressed, briskly sure of
himself. And we see him as an outsider, an outlander, a reasonably
noble breed in the act of vanishing... He has stopped being
representative, and we didn’t notice it until this minute. Not so
emphatically, anyway.
What has happened since World War II is that the American
sensibility has become part Jewish, perhaps as much Jewish as it is
anything else... The literate American mind has come in some
measure to think Jewishly. It has been taught to, and it was ready to.
After the entertainers and novelists came the Jewish critics, politicians,
theologians. Critics and politicians and theologians are by profession
molders; they form ways of seeing. (Walter Kerr 1968, D1, D3)

I feel the sting from telling a bad joke a decade later, but I am a stranger in all my relationships. I observe myself making love and wonder 'who are these two people?". Mulling of minutia, numb to the grandest things.

supermarkets are terrible i need to live in a city with a bazaar

Around 1750 we get the passionate ambition of some frenchies to write an Encyclopédie containing all usefull knowledge available to man. Fast forward to today and we have wikipedia which is a bold attempt.
There is however a striking difference between the two attempts. The frenchies wanted it to be readable by a single individual. Wikipedia on the other hand has become too large for one man to read.

I have come to the conclusion that the lack of having such a readable encyclopedia is a big problem in our contemporary world. Without constraints set on the size of knowledge. All knowledge starts to be treated equally. No distinction is made for what should be omitted for the sake of other things. Important concepts become swarmed between trivia. At that point we should not be calling it an encyclopedia, it is just a database.

I would propose another encyclopedia internet collaboration project, where the maximum size of readable text and entries are constrained. A constraint of what is feasible to be read in 10 fulltime reading years would be put in place. The average reading speed of an adult would be taken into account. In such a project, you would not have endless growth of knowledge. Instead sometimes a particular piece of knowledge has to make place for new better knowledge. This would lead to an encyclopedia that would truely evolve with man.

>>19550552
The longer we wait, the more fun it'll be. Have some patience

>>19550590
Men peak sexually later, and have more options for personal fulfilment which aren't dependent on being young open to them than women

>>19550951
no.

>>19550794
The more you wait to ask her out, the more of a pussy she'll think you are, and the worse it'll go.
Ask her out next time you speak

>>19551260
das mento 'elf, luv

>>19551666
It's also about remembering what seems trivial and unimportant in the moment, but which later turns out to be significant or, more often, the amalgamation of which proves to be meaningful. This is what I find to be most powerful about getting down my thoughts.

>>19551676
Man I love white women.

>>19552196
More blood to the brain, less to the digestive system. I get the same thing.

>>19552209
>>19552486
No it isn't. Fear and Trembling is a much better introduction to Kierkegaard, though I'd recommend reading the myth of Sisyphus first. Kierkegaard really isn't necessary for it, though you'll probably get what Kierkegaard is getting at in F&T a little more after having read it.

I'm stuck in quarantine and just read Mother of Learning because was in the mood for some magical power fantasy.
How do I get over my post-fiction depression?
Why does fiction want me to completly escape reality? Is it because I've read so few so far and just have to read more and get used to it? At some point I want those fictions to never end but I hate reading a book knowing its not finished.

>>19553751
This is not a virtue or talent of yours. It will hurt you in the long term.

>>19554035
Don't need to pick up on cues - she wants to fuck you. Just continue playing it cool, fuck and then let her know after a couple days that you don't want to make it a regular thing given her boyfriend situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8HS2ZyxGKo

>>19554035
Just be yourself bro, she already thinks you're a stud.

>>19554215
>I should keep trying because she doesn't know how she will feel in the future.
You shouldn't take this kind of shit from her. Be honest with her - tell her you can't keep playing her game / don't want to be friends with her because you find her attractive. Then if she doesn't reciprocate (which seems overwhelmingly likely), then cut it off.

I feel like i should hide my 15 years of imageboard browsing but at the same time i feel i should do something with it.

>>19555418
your pride betrays itself in your incredibly faggy way of writing

>>19555754
continue to live to spite life and its God. Do things - anything is open to a man who wants to die. You have no expectations to live up to; you can live in the woods if you like. To me, any activity seems more beautiful than the non-activity of suicide, though I'm not sure how much sense that'll make for you.

>>19555850
This is the thing. You need to live life to the greatest intensity that you can.
If you think you need a nudge, read Steppenwolf as a spur to get you to do so.

>>19555924
This won't keep you going. You need to find something more, though that can be found through coming across striking 'information'. The fact that you are so strongly affected by such things is a very positive sign. Retaining curiosity bodes well for the rest of your life, so long as you apply it to things beyond mere 'information'.

>>19555926
cute :). Good luck, anon

>>19556082
>>19556095
YES! These are excellent.

https://controlc.com/f330b134
can you frens bls critique my shitty attempt at writing fiction?
im new to creative writing and don't know if this reads well, and im hestitant to share it with people i know irl

>>19557204
Because you crave love and connection desperately.

>>19557498
This is a good idea.

>>19557832
feels like a generic TTRPG xetting/campaign, also very condensed

>>19557866
like you wanted to write a novel but just crammed it into a flash fiction format

>>19557832
thats hella gay... not bad otherwise, although the pacing seems a bit off af times.

next thread
>>19557908

>>19557832
>literal tons
sounds juvenile
what is the adeptus mechanicus? is it the factories and shipyards? in which case you should have a colon and make it clear. If it isn't, you need to restructure that first section.
>Vast factories, churning out literal tons of weapons per minute. Shipyards in orbit, constructing fleets fit for battle. Well hidden hideouts etc. etc.
these sentences should be connected with semi-colons. The full stops make them sound awkward and clunky.
>Well hidden hideouts, where tech priests conduct
either remove the comma or change where to 'wherein'
>conduct in hushed voices experiments
'in hushed voices' should be surrounded with commas, otherwise the sentence sounds odd and disjointed.
>All of this on Terra's sister, Mars.
use a colon or a dash given the emphasis / drama which is being placed on mars here
>All of this on Terra's sister, Mars. A planet not devoid entirely of resources etc. etc.
This is not how sentences work, anon. you have to make Mars is the subject of the latter sentence or restructure it entirely. I'd go for the latter. It's too much information / world-building presented in too banal a way in too short a passage for the reader to be interested, let alone remember and digest it all.
> not devoid entirely
make this entirely devoid
>A problem, one of the answers to which was the Colony Ship Convergence.
awkward phrasing - don't use a comma here

There's alot, anon. It's not awful - I haven't read beyond the first paragraph so I can't make a judgement on the concept - but it reads badly and in a way which is boring. You need to improve your style, and not just present thoughts by vomiting them onto the page. I'd recommend reading more well-written books until you subconsciously understand how to write.
If you're just doing this for fun as a passion project then godspeed and don't listen to me.

>>19557910
QUIT JUMPING THE FUCKING GUN AND WAIT UNTIL IT HITS 320 AT LEAST YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

>>19557967
>320
The bump limit is 310

Why are there two of these on the board? This one isn't dead for five more pages

>>19555322
If you hesitate for even a second, then you shouldn't do it

>>19557791
I can't elaborate on what my intention is to do with that information, but it is and isn't information for information's sake. There are specific projects they're applied to in the real world, it isn't all gesturing about abstract spaces.
Though to investigate whether I'm leading myself astray I feel obliged to ask what things come to your mind when you say "application to things beyond mere information?"

>>19558124
I think it's because people with ADD who need attention can't work out if they switched to latest reply ordering they would see this thread at the top of the catalog. They need to have the thread bumpable because they can't deal with the idea of not being front page news. They also can't read books to get their precious attentions, so they need to post in threads like this where they can convince themselves being off topic was a valuable contribution.
>tl;dr some anons never learnt to lurk moar or how to fourchin

>>19556175
>It follows that this must be a deep fear and uncertainty in all people
I don't immediately see why, but I could hazard more guesses. For myself, there's comfort in separation. Your wording of brotherhood is somewhat emotionally lost on me because I'm disaffected even from my family, they're just other people in my eyes. I like some of them, but I feel no obligation to love them just because of our genetic relation. The idea of being fully visible to others does disturb me, but I'm not entirely sure why.
>Whatever it is I'm desperately trying to get at, I know I can't go about it alone. So can these people really be content at 'step one'?
It makes sense to question this given your beliefs about "mutual awareness." It cannot be something one does alone if it requires reciprocity to function. For my own part, surely being somewhere close to the zeroth step or maybe lower, I'm content to not have any awareness of other people. The best moments of my life are when there are no people around and I'm not ruminating about their influence in my life. I'm fairly broken in this regard by normal standards, but I've experienced what I think others would call genuine moments of connection with other people. I find this is easiest to do anonymously, when exposing my actual thoughts and beliefs comes with no real prospect of punishment. However, these kinds of conversations haven't so far convinced me I couldn't do without the brotherhood of humanity in spiritual/psychological terms if it were necessary. I'm aware this is most strongly motivated by mostly poor experiences with other people throughout my life, but I don't really want to fix what's broken when there's something else I found in the abyss that's intriguing (or at least maintains the facade of my safety by avoidance, if we're cynical).
What does a first step look like, in your mind? What have you tried before, and how have you logged it?
I'm also on what I'd call a step 1, and seemingly unable to graduate from it, but I see it as an individual endeavor, as I believe the objective of my life to also be.
Also, the anon comparing you to Montano and I are different people. I haven't been clinically diagnosed but I have many of the symptoms of schizoid personality disorder. I don't feel the need to be tested and I can't see what it would accomplish given that I have a good 'relationship' with solitude. I have to devote considerable effort to making my text comprehensible to other people and even then I tend to use too many subordinating clauses within the same sentence (typically wrapped in parentheses or appositives). I have a fetish for over explanation or tangents I find related but that most people would consider ancillary.
>It would take a lot more text vomit to get at anything deeper
We've got all the time we need, should you desire getting into it.

>>19550601
I've also began taking my diary more seriously these past months. I've been keeping one for some years now, but I would only write once every couple of weeks. I'm now writing almost daily and I feel I'm more honest with myself and it's nice having a place where to develop my thoughts and ideas.