/lit/ - Literature

i need some sex to relax

my big penis is not to be ignored, but respected

I only feel like writing about myself; to me, nothing else is more interesting than my own musings yet others do not find this so.

you dudes watching the elon interview on wsj? "teslas are robots with wheels, "capital is essentially distilled labor", "if people don't have more kids, civilization will collapse, mark my words",

>>19526506
No I don't particularly enjoy following Kike Media

this site is corny as hell

Of all the things I could watch, I choose new season of Dexter. I hated the ending when it aired almost a decate ago, actually I hated almost the whole thing apart from first two seasons. But here I am ten years later watching new season of the show I disliked. I really thought, that nostalgia wouldn't get to me, but there he is, Michael C Hall looking at me from the screen. Life really went fast, in half a year I will be 31, yet I am watching Dexter like I am 21. But I certainly do not feel like I am 21. The spark is gone, the hope got weary. I actually became the person I was terrified of becoming.

>>19526472

I think you give me too much credit. My mother used to be on lithium and fluvoxamine, not sure if she still is. the mood swings are what gets me most.

I basically can't tell her about my plans anymore because she gets emotionally invested in them and criticizes me if I change my mind, talk about other stuff, etc. Ever since I've graduated all I can say is "I'm looking at work or going back to school". of course then it just sounds like I'm a lazy bum.

I'm not looking to "change" my family. my brother is intellectually disabled and I'll be the sole caretaker in the future so I have to stay on good terms with them. I feel close to my mother? Even though my family is, from the outside, emotionally toxic and destructive. it's complex and only recently am I realizing how unhealthy of an environment it is. but what else is there to do? just venting I suppose.

I have been pondering on the human butthole and what it means to see one. (if you're a virgin, think of an anime character of the same description who you've seen rule34 of.) Have you ever slept with someone who was very prim and proper, or someone who acted in some ways like they are above others? How did it feel when you saw their butthole? It was very gratifying for me. Someone showing you their anus is an admission that they shit. it is an admission of the basest, most raw and shameful part of being human. in this way the butthole is THE most human part of you. Without having you seen it, they can deny that they shit. once it is out in the open, there is no more question. To have an anus is to be human.
I'm going to work the phrase "She's so proper that she probably doesn't have an anus" into the next thing I write

>>19526528
Women having assholes is hot because everything about them says "this is an angel" but then the angel turns around and has a fat ass that shits

>>19526542
precisely. it's not the shit itself. it's the admission that they aren't perfect

>>19526558
For me it's more the paradox that they are perfect beings of light but somehow they have a non-perfect hypostasis extending to or manifesting on the plane of mere matter, where we live and our senses operate, just so my crass material monkey being can interact with their ethereal essence somehow (by putting my mouth on it)

>>19526542
I feel like people who think this had no sisters or female friends or cousins. Nobody could grow up around women and conceive of them as perfect or angels

I spend all my time abating my urges. I used to believe in making art but now it feels like art itself is outdated and there's no way anybody will ever give a shit about any of it, much less my attempts. I know I can't go on like this, but when I try to think of what I could do or where I could go to escape the spiral I find no reason for optimism. It really feels like I'm somehow caught in the lonely descent with the whole world alongside me. All my values, anything that gave weight to my actions and decisions, the circuit that connected me to the center of the earth, it's all gone. My desire to find my way out of the carnal wallowing finds no purchase in the barren planet I now live on. Maybe it was always this desolate and the faith I had was always misplaced. Either way, I feel the juice just isn't worth the squeeze.

>>19526579
Yeah, I can only maintain the illusion when I don't have a girlfriend for a while. Whenever I get one I remember what dirty bitches they are. They aren't really "in tune" with the angelic aura men attribute to them and assume is essential to them.

>do a quick pass through the catalog to hide pepe/wojak/general meme template shit
>do another more thorough one for threads on greeks/religion/evola/guenon/incel/pol bait
what now

I can smell the ocean in my room a little. Maybe because I've been jerking off too much.

>>19526521
>>19520116

>>19526601
Go to a different site since you don't like it here

https://youtu.be/SHAQlFq6TFg

>>19526731
how about take your threads to reddit where i don't need to filter them

>>19526603
But I am being literal with this. I can smell something which is pretty rare, usually I can't smell anything since I'm depressed. Hope that's a good sign.
There are actually lots of things I haven't smelled since I was a teenager, like the nice breeze of an Autumn day. I can go outside and try to smell it but it doesn't register.
It's pretty crazy that I can do it sometimes again

The thing that that only exist in our mind is our own ego is my own ego in my own mind is the thing that only exist is the thing in our own ego in our mind in my own is my own ego in my own mind is mind is the thing that only exist is the thing in our own ego in our mind is our ego is my ego in my own mind is our mind is our own is my thing that that exist in our mind our mind our own ego is my own ego in my own mind the thing that only exist the thing in the thing in our own ego in our mind is our own ego is own in my thing that that only exist in our mind our own ego is my thing that that only exist in our mind is our own ego is my own ego in my own is the thing that only exist is the thing in the thing in ego in our mind is is my own ego in my that that only exist in our mind is our own ego our mind is ego is my own ego in my own is the thing that only is the thing in our own ego in our mind in my own is my own ego in my own is is the thing that only exist the thing in own in our mind is our own ego is in my own mind is ego in our mind is our own ego is thing that only exist in our mind is our mind is our ego is own ego in my own mind is the thing that only exist is thing in the our own ego in our mind is our own ego is me own ego my thing that that only exist in our mind is our own ego is my thing that that only exist in is is our own ego is my own ego in my own is the thing that only exist is the thing in the thing in our own ego in our mind is our own ego is my own ego thing that that only exist in our mind is our our own ego.

>>19526521
this
4chan is dogshit and gets worse every year. i used to spend hours here, genuinely addicted. now i can't even spend more than 5 minutes at a time before i get disgusted at the pedestrian bullshit and go do something else, so thanks for that i guess

>>19527100
they're bots trying to keep traffic up

If you had a child, what would you do to prevent them from being a furry?

I think I'm going to kill myself this new years' eve. The past couple months have been going really well, all the problems I had are being resolved, it just feels like everything's coming to an end and I don't see how things can get any better from here on out.

>>19526731
No, you go back to your board

>>19527507
Just monitor all their internet activity. Nobody becomes a furry without spending large amounts of time unsupervised on the internet.

>>19527721

what an awful day. i swear to god i would have smoked weed if i had had some. thank god i dont. whatever. the cravings are gone now and im feeling a bit better. im going to slam a beer now. yeah yeah i know i said i would cut down on the boozing but i dont give a fuck. i need this.
https://youtu.be/zncsd1dM9xI

>>19528004
speaking of weed, I am officially 20 days sober from it. no one irl seems to care or be proud of me. it hurts a little to be honest
https://youtu.be/NUxdqQEX6CE

>>19528004
They call me the Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving

>>19528045
normie no care a pothead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkaLznhliJo

>>19528056
based
>>19528082
but even my own friends?

>>19526492
>The advent of the internet and the emergence of the digital revolution has proved only one truth about our primordial past: we are still primates.
>Over a third of all internet traffic is pornography, which can be broken down into the various genres and sub-genres, showing that we still delight in autoeroticism and onanism despite our supposed advancement and humanity.
>What does the male vervet monkey, disinherited from a dominance hierarchy, do with his frustration and lack of a sexual partner? One thing, and one thing only, gives him release.
>He lowers his head, saunters off away form the community, and beats his red cock redder, whilst the Alpha monkey has his way with whichever females he sees fit. The little monkey, as powerless as he may feel, spills his seed upon the soil to be eaten by insects. His seed is only dead and death.
>But, so too does the Alpha "spill his seed" albeit inside the intended receptacle: the she-monkey's Cunt. He spreads his progeny, as a farmer who flicks his seed onto his farm to create abundance, stability, and fecundity; or, life itself.
>The release of sexual energy for the beta masturbator develops in all but its intended purpose, reproduction; instead, it turns into a neuroticism, a coping mechanism, a bad habit. Digital technology has enslaved men to their frustrations, to their unrequited desires, to their chains, to their deaths.

fuck jobs bitch

I'm 28, what do you think will happen if I ask out a woman in her late 30's or early 40's out? Is she going to be either weirded out or laugh at my face?
Her best friend who is closer to my age (about mid 30's) and who we talk more openly, made a nonchalant remark that she is single now.
They both know very well that I have a crash on her, I wonder if her friend made that remark in my presence on purpose or I'm just imagining things.
pls respond

What do people mean when they talk about "Irony" in a sort of apocalyptic cultural kind of way? Because I don't really see it. It seems to me the domain of people mostly occupied with TV, Advertisements, teenagers wearing dumb hentai shirts, and memes.

But that is a really narrow focus. I go for days without engaging with mass media. I just talk to people, or do things around the house that need to be doing. Hang out with friends. None of this feels "ironic" or although maybe we use some irony when joking and trying to get a laugh, but I don't think people simply mean making ironic statements in a comedic context when they talk about this all pervasive inescapable cultural irony. Oh wow, some art critics in New York are jaded, its the fucking end of the world.

I get random suicidal thoughts quite often these days.
Sometimes they follow after me thinking about girls. What was, what could have been and what mental struggles prevented things from happening.

>>19528386
You are certainly not gonna regret asking her out.
>>19528332
YEAH FUCKING FUCK THEM
picrel

I wanna fuck hot babes, but I don't wanna put any effort in to getting them.

Why my heart doesnt talk to me?

I don't get the appeal of Camus. The Stranger was considered the greatest book by Le Monde and almost every college student I know had to read it at some point. It's a fine book, I suppose, but only for the purposes of advancing something so mundane. I mean what's so groundbreaking about absurdim? We struggle with the reality that life is meaningless, cool, stop the presses... but wait! Now must imagine ourselves as Sisyphus... except happy too! What does he contribute that made such a major development to philosophy? I can't think of a single person who embraces absurdism as their ethos or even admires the notion of a happy Sisyphus as inspiring. Why is he so famous? I unironically don't get how his ideas can influence or impress somebody who's already well-read. What's so special about him?? I mean, Cioran is 10x more brilliant on analyzing the meaninglessness of modern life. I imagine Zapffe is too but I haven't read him too much.

Maybe I'm missing something, idk. Shit makes no sense bros.

>>19528045
I'm proud of you anon, only because I've seen your struggles on this thread for almost all of 2021 at this point. Are you still abusing any other substances? Any major lifestyle chances?

>>19528259
Sauce anon?

God, some big changes happening in my life at the moment. After about 5 years of stagnation, I've got used to it and I suppose attached to it a bit. I haven't had this big a change since leaving high school almost 8 years ago now. Yikes. I'm getting seriously sentimental and morose, I can barely function. I'll get over this, of course. It's finally time to start the next stage of my life. I think it's good to be feeling the way I do, it means that it's time to move on. Variety is the spice of life. Still, it's hard to say good bye to old friends, old ways, old locations.... To be honest, I haven't felt this emotional about anything in many, many years. Again, a good sign I think. But a bittersweet one, albeit. However, life is to be lived.

Finished the Plague. Which book should I read next?

wtf I found a smart post in archives I post it here
>>19454348

>>19528812
australian left

>>19528697
It is just another superficial fad for normalfags who can't think for themselves and are in the need of a cope in post-God world. Like those retarded videos in which uploader paints a grim picture of the world and at the end forced shit like love or science into the narrative. Cioran was a brave and sincere intellectual who walked on the thin rope of despair, he knew life unfortunately too well.

>>19528894
>le pessimist cioran
>doesnt kill himself
dishonest

way back when deblasio first got elected i was actually excited to have a progressive mayor after guiliani and bloomberg, but now i can't wait for deblasio to be gone and i can't stand "progressives" aka resentful socialists. what a shit show.

>>19528893
Canticle?

Ironically I'm in Sydney right now

What should I do if I'm too horny to go to sleep

>>19526492
Honestly? Tight twink boypussy.

dreamed that I met my sister and she was pacing back and forth. I wanted to give her a hug but she said she had a guilty conscience, had to tell me something. I sat down on a sofa. She sat on a chair next to it. She told me dad abused me sexually when we were little. I was quite calm, I've known for a while something must have happened when I was a kid. I told her I thought it was she that was the victim. She said something more and then I woke up.

Not really sure what to do now. I had a therapist but it didn't work out.

>>19529118
when i started having mental health problems I remember relating to maddie in tihs scene. I am a male though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TkHDAygVbs&t=182s

>>19528929
he is honest as fuck. just read him. he see nonsense in everything, included in muh suicide.

I have this image in my head of the sort of man I want to be, but then I feel like that’s an impossibility or at least a waste in this world.

Ultimately, I know it’s not the world though. It’s me. I’m just so lost. I have a sense of what I want to do, what I need to do, but I just can’t seem to actualize it. I always shoot myself in the foot.

He is alone in a room, there is nothing and no one. He finds nothing to do or to think. Then he thought exactly about that last sentence. Then to this one again.

He finaly found something to do with this void.

Nothing inspired him to think of anything, and therefore of nothing he thought of. He rejoices and a laugh escaped, echoing across the empty room. Absolutely nothing could make him laugh, but he laughs.

What fool must he be to laugh at nothing? In asking himself this tragic question, he realized that he was still hearing himself within the walls of this room where there is nothing. This whole circus is so ridiculous, so absurd that he couldn't help but laugh at it. The more he laughed, the more he got involved in this situation which always made him do more.

Tears are falling, he's choking and it's absolutely hilarious.
idk if i made spelling mistakes i used google translate and i still have to improve my english

From the bottom of my soul > Maggot Brain

>>19528712
I just wrote something on my mind. Do I need citations?

That ass in indescribable. Like trying to convey the experience of sight to a blind person.
I would have to enroll in the Sorbonne and study art for years just to express the warmth the sight of it gives.
When you grab it, it feels bigger than it looks.
Her waist is around 26 inches. B cup or C cup breasts.
Tight body. Young.
A fat ass.

>>19526492
I found an unfinished bag of candy today. Gummy worms. It was delicious, even if they were frozen solid.

I wish my boss wasn't so stupid, then we might be able to actually get shit done.

Why do I see spots when I blow my nose? No, I am not fat.

I can't keep wasting my life. I need to find friends again, I need to find a girlfriend. This might be my last shot.

>>19526492
I can only write when I'm feeling deep waves of insecurity.

>>19528704
im still drinking a fair bit and i was smoking a bunch of cigarettes but im stopping that until new years.
lifestyle changes? uhhh. ive been bulking and working out but besides that i am still quite lazy and unmotivated towards my career prospects but that is mostly because it is December. also i havent been reading much

Do you guys think there’s truth to the “Russia will invade Ukraine” rumors? And if so, will Biden send us into war. I’m not going to lie, I don’t want to be drafted and have to fight on behalf of some people on the other side of the planet.

>>19528045
I quit weed in 2021 because I thought it made me lazy and unmotivated. I am still lazy and unmotivated but now I have nightmares nightly and my sleep is ruined and I am absolutely fucking miserable. I am excited for 2022 so I can go back to smoking daily.

>>19530288
>I am still lazy and unmotivated but now I have nightmares nightly and my sleep is ruined and I am absolutely fucking miserable.
You're even not over the withdrawals yet, Xi. Give it a few more months.

>>19530629
but what if a few months from now i end up like that anon?

This thread goes so fast no one is going to notice my photo of Gimi.

>>19530234
it's a literal CIA psyop lol, they've been sending briefings to a bunch of mouthpiece news corps

>>19530780
Okay, but that said are we going to war? Gulf of Tonkin was a psyop and we still went to Vietnam

>>19530794
gulf of tonkin was more smooth than this tbf

>>19530234
I think war with Russia is entirely possible for Americans but I think in this particular case, they’ll end up releasing something about how the President “thwarted” the invasion.

I wrote a Thoreau quote on my Facebook wall and it got no likes, now its stuck on my wall and people probably think I have no friends. The quote was....
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them" -Thoreau

People use "cynic" as a derogatory term. But I think it is the best attitude towards life in godforsaken 21st century. Sincerity in this age is good recipe for your destruction because how vulnerable you're to many deceptions. If one find few sincere people then one should not let them go but if one don't have them then art, reading and writing are enough to make one feel something without delving into the petty bullshit of life.

Every teenager should read Chamfort's aphorisms rather than DFW's melodramatic shit who was a piece of shit in his real life, yes he was brutally honest but he failed to live up to his own ideals and as destroyed himself in the process. It's just life man, one being among billions of others, no big deal.

Actually I am trying acting so cold right because I perhaps see myself in DFW rather too much rather than Chamfort. I wish I was a cold cynic which is a less shitty way to live life.

How do I prevent myself from sinking hours of my time everyday on this site?

>>19531017
If you have ambitions you need to make enemies and they will keep you in check. Yes, I am totally serious.

>>19531030
I have plenty of enemies. I just don't care about them.

>>19530907
>godforsaken 21st century.
What's bad about the 21st century? inb4 the music sucks

>>19530907
How does one even attempt being honest in current day?

> have anti-tech sentiments
> sometimes consider blogging/vlogging to help escape the office job

>>19531053
I am from a 3rd world country where even traditional tribal communities are slowly disintegrating, consoomerism ethos are penetrating in from all sides. It's really sad to see the atomization of society into private bubbles. People don't even visit their relatives anymore, lack of social gatherings, lack of going outside and relaxing the fuck out, lack of human interaction etc. Its just constant tiresome hustle and nobody knows for what. Yeah bullshit capitalist dream of buying a soulless villa in some Burgerpunk gated community. People increasingly have an obsession with getting rich when social mobility is fuck and collecting more stuff and more money, this hustling and judgements based on material wealth. Disappearance of arts and penetration of sciences. Like here if you study arts people would laugh at you because the only reason to gain education according to them is to earn money but one can't blame them when almost 90% problems of 3rd world households are financial. But yeah it's so soulless and getting more and more ugly. There is no concern of aesthetics because basic survival needs are fucked, at least in countryside you have fresh air and food. Don't know why the fuck everyone has a boner for "progress" but no concern for the quality of life. It's a giant shitshow.

There are other things too. And when I made that post I had different things in my mind. It doesn't fucking matter because nobody cares. By caring you suffer.

>>19531133
Read Good Old Neon by DFW or listen to it

https://youtu.be/9f-Q9GHmJGc

resisting the urge to wack off to girl's feet

>>19526492
Just waiting for my real life to begin

>>19531225
Me too, me too

these amerikkkan labor ari$tokkkrat crocodile tears are delicious https://youtu.be/9rG3lh1hpWc

>>19531225
Me too. Have been waiting 28 years, but next year is the good one!

i wrote something for the first time ever last night, its just a small little poem of like 4 lines and it doesn't quite rhyme so maybe it needs work, but its quite deeply personal regarding some of my struggles and i like it

I have a crush on someone I'm my allowed to have a crush on

>>19526763
>I hate society
English grammar too.

>>19531172
I love Good Old Neon so much. Changed my life, as faggy as that sounds.

>>19531225
The next step is the most important one, anon

> realizing I had a chance to become a great man but retreated and subsequently wasted my twenties to the point of biographical disrepair

it is not for my judgement of the situation that I am thankful of God. I don't take stock and say "yes, this will do, thank you God". I can not judge. For me is to suspend judgement. My opinion on what passes is irrelevant- I have a beam in my eye. I am thankful to God not because I know what He has made and can estimate it- I am thankful because it is from Him, who is inestimable but who I still know more surely than myself.

Being an Arab in modern Western Europe must be glorious

>>19531771
Gay as fuck

>>19526492
To be completely honest with you bros… I want a gf.

>>19530629
>>19530724
Even after the hyper-vivid dreams go away, the nightmares still wake me up every night. Sometimes multiple times a night. I don't think weed smoking makes you lazy, I think being inclined to be lazy makes you enjoy the high of weed. Stopping isn't going to solve your motivation problems. I think it would be better to use weed as a reward to motivate yourself. That's my plan, anyway. 01/01/2022 I'll have been off weed a year and I will go buy some and use it as a doggy treat to train myself. Good luck on sobriety, in my experience it is miserable.

>>19531980
i used to have hyper-vivid nightmares when i was little but they went away after time. after i started trying out edibles for a little bit about a year ago, they've come back
maybe see a doctor? dunno if they'd be helpful though

How do I come out as AGP to my therapist?

>>19531915
What the fuck, anon? Weirdo!

>>19526492
Wow look at that faggot glad he got raped by the Kikes he made records for probably sucked foreskins for little children like very single big name pop star in existence. all of them are pedophile faggots for jewish cabals i will shoot Brad Pitt in the fucking HEAD i will fucking KILL HIM

>>19532049
Accelerated Graphics Port is a parallel expansion card standard, designed for attaching a video card to a computer system to assist in the acceleration of 3D computer graphics. It was originally designed as a successor to PCI-type connections for video cards.

>>19526492
Reality doesn’t make sense and I don’t know what it is and I don’t believe in it and I don’t know where or who I am and I don’t know what other people are or what the world is and I don’t understand what reality is to still be here while I’m not believing in it

i unironically want to run a death camp and gas all the peopel i dont like but i wouldnt gas everyone and some people would even get released if i changed my mind. but theres a lot of people that deserve to be gassed and a lot of people agree with them so i dont understand why when you go to a local govt. meeting they chimp out and pretend like they're against a concentration camp. its retarded. people for most of human existesnce killed other people so why is it such a big "crime" now and HBO has to make 1000 movies showing ptsd fatass americans getting their ass kicked in afghanistan as if that was even war?

>>19532124
Relax. Just have fun.

I feel like a brainlet 99% of the time, I don't know who or what belief system or worldview or ideology is truly correct, Im always second guessing my beliefs and opinions

after a decade of deep loafing my boss talked me into working full time, but they're going to pay for my masters so that's cool i guess.

Earlier today I vacuumed all the weed crumbs and scraps out of my desk because I fear I will someday scrape them together and smoke them in a desperate depression episode. We are not living in the same world. We are not living in the same reality.
https://youtu.be/hAswT2vA46M

>>19526492
Made a based pasta sauce of shallots, garlic, and cherry tomatoes. You need rather a lot of each and you have to mince them all a bunch before you sautee them. Would maybe be improved by adding basil but idk

>>19532285
that's nasty. you should've just done that anyways

>>19532297
do you know a good italian cookbook

>>19532306
I do not, sorry. This isn't even a recipe, I just made it one time when I only had those three things and I liked it.

I'm currently in a state of panicked indecision about whether to add parmesan to the pasta or not. I think in the end not

I have a crush on someone I'm not allowed to have a crush on.

>>19532404
Are we talking "I like my best friend" or "I like my niece" level here

>>19532404
Someone else's wife/gf or is it incestual

>>19532285
Sounds like alot of work. You should reward yourself.

I ponder upon the most painful death.
Perhaps submerging a man in acid that is both burning and boiling, electrified with 220V from the mains as well?

>>19532495
The most painful death is not a simultaneous combination of the most individually painful elements. Torture is a genuine art, which is to say it is a matter of rhythm, tempo and melody, not simply maximization of all elements of the art. One might even argue that there is no "most painful death", just as there is no "most beautiful artwork." That fact doesn't preclude some works of art being more beautiful than others.
>>19526492
I fell asleep in the afternoon and slept for about 18 hours straight, with no provocation, no lack of sleep to cause it. It seems to be random. And I had very intense and vivid dreams of a hairy, large spider fighting and killing a snake. I've been reading the Aeneid over the past few days so I get the idea this is some kind of dream omen, but I would have no clue how to divine it. I just feel disturbed.

>>19532525
You speak from experience...

Slowly coming to the realization that nothing is really waiting for me out there. It’s over.

>>19532543
I speak from having almost the exact same thoughts as you did and contemplating how I would break myself or someone else, or whether it's even possible to have a completely unbreakable mind, which I don't think it is.

>>19532562
>I don't think it is.
Some people do. Those are the martyrs.
If some Buddhist monk can set himself on fire and not even flinch, it must be possible.
There is also psychological pain...

>>19532562
Have you seem the movie Martyrs? Seems to would be up your alley. Bit of a polarizing movie but I love it.

>tfw you realize Hegel was right
holy shit wtf do I do now??

Throughout the years, I have tossed countless fortune cookies into the trash. I've never been one to think much of fortune, aphorisms, or other condensed wads of bullshit one would ascribe to wisdom, philosophies, etc..

Today, without even thinking, almost automatically, I opened a single fortune cookie that came with my single plate of food for my single existence in this world.
To my suprise, and very much to my currently growing discomfort, I discovered that there was no piece of paper at all (no fortune) in the cookie.
Despite not wanting to subscribe to superficial standards of belief, I can not escape that this is somehow a bad omen.
Could one of you fine gentlemen, dignified memebers of the intelligentsia, vanguards of philosophy, tell me what the fuck this means (no fortune in my fortune cookie)?

loneliness is real.

The Great Cataclysm grows closer, and no one cares. How quickly Xi and Biden are to clash over Taiwan! Do either care that Taiwan will drown as the seas rise? How quick are the Europeans to decry a thousand crossing their borders! Do you realize billions are coming? Civilization crumbles, the ecological foundation which we took for granted is gone in a changing climate. Truly we live in the End Times.

>>19532700
it means you no longer have to be told about your destiny, you can decide what happens yourself.

>>19532998
Thank you. This is a positive answer that I would not have arrived at myself and that I want to subscribe to. I have a pessimistic outlook, these days.

I wish I knew what caused my emotions to come back on sporadically because all this time spent being an emotionless husk will never be returned

>>19526502
Fuck you.

>>19526492
~there's a big black hole where my heart use to be~

I recently realized I don't know shit about anything. I have never felt better in my entire life.

>>19533363
https://youtu.be/a3kpk5u6yMU

>>19532525
torture is vicious. the only "rhythm, tempo and melody" is that of an endlessly evolving appetite

>>19533436
in flux

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kApIjxRmvoI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrsVfGY9pnM

Seven (7) (siete) (七) years with no friends.

Constantinople has fallen a second time,
We surge past the gates,
Some Europeans weep and flee,
Some others accept their defeat and kneel.

Yet my heart is empty,
as empty as the victory we have won.
Did we win? Or did the enemy give up?
They have their Cortes, their Bonaparte, their Rhodes.

Who do we have? Who is our glorious conqueror?
We have no one, we won the emptiest of victories.
We did not force open the gates, the gates were opened for us.
I weep, I weep because I was denied a glorious victory.

What transpires when a consciousness understands there's no free will? Why doesn't reality disintegrate from this point of view? Where does this consciousness reside in this grand cause-effect reaction? Is it the end point? Where's my nirvana?

>>19526492
I think the lack of any passionate beliefs is a sickness that is destroying man. Can AI be amused?
In summary of William Irwin Thompson’s the Time Falling Bodies Take to Light:
I do not believe religion is an opiate for the masses.
Instead, religion is an antidote for the poisons of civilization.
All people before civilization and religion were connected to the divine unity through their bond with nature and attitude towards life, death, and an afterlife and thus all actions performed were spiritual.
All religions are one, each attempts to connect us to the divine and eternal whole.

>>19526492
I like to keep a list of certain things I've watched or read. I also have some short analyses written of some books I liked. I shared a couple people liked on here.
However, lately, I've just been focusing on Nature documentaries. I like to keep a list of all the ones I've seen with some accompanying thoughts. This has been overall been making me more misanthropic, convicted in being childfree, and anti-industrialism.

>>19526492
I like to keep a list of certain things I've watched or read. I also have some short analyses written of some books I liked. I shared a couple people liked on here.
However, lately, I've just been focusing on Nature documentaries. I like to keep a list of all the ones I've seen with some accompanying thoughts. This has overall been making me more misanthropic, convicted in being childfree, and anti-industrialist.

One thing I really admired about Game of Thrones' tv adaptation was that it started with disgusting the viewer with sibling incest in the first episode, but by the end of it, a majority of fans wanted to see Dany fuck her nephew Jon. The way it lured the viewers into wanting something they shouldn't want, especially when the first bout of it was presented in a negative light. It's just brilliant trickery. It's something I'd like to do in my own story: fool the reader into believing the villains are actually the heroes.

My neighbour never smiles. Not even his family, his wife or his kids. Even when I say good morning or evening if we happen to meet on the elevator.

I dont know why I even read books. Perhaps Im still chasing that unicorn in hope to fix my life by stumbling across that specific passage.

Bogota from money heist is cute and manly

>>19534117
You must not have given him a big enough tip.

started playing RDR2 once again. such a good game

Fire. Fight. Killers kill killed killing cry. Lost confusion finding fact forefather fascist foreplay. I tree branch spread wings fire sky night blood moon time sinking ship sail away my love lost heart ache wandering walking wonder disconnected pavement ants antennas raised no signal satellite white noise caught in the throat all the words misunderstood never said I can't stand that I am standing it unable to be able to architecture of silence pregnant pause extended in perpetuity and unparsed sentiment crashing waves eating sand and counting the grains harvested hope helpless home secret truth preserved through lies false pearls for real swine oink

>>19526492
ok, stop the show. I have watched it enough and no more.

FUCK DANIEL GREENE

>got out with my friends again, drank too much and almost told them that I am thinking about trooning out
I am a failure...

METAPHYSICS > LINGUISTICS > AESTHETICS > ETHICS

>>19533729
Abysmal fake deep take

>>19532409
both

>>19534581
(THE WORLD)

>>19526492
Many young people are hostile to capitalism these days because it's a system that has brought some of them to the brink of suicide. Any system that you haven't experienced and lived under, in contrast, has the possibility of not being so extremely crushing on a spiritual level. Sympathy toward socialism is not a vote for it, but a vote against the suicidal pressures of dysfunctional capitalism.

>>19535021
>it's a system that has brought some of them to the brink of suicide.
That's only what they tell themselves and other people.

>>19534581
ANYTHING >>>>>> ETHICS (aka spookology)

>>19535031
Having experienced myself it and seen it happen I beg to differ. It's a meat grinder.

The astrological implications are bad, but I must press forward. The modified approach may lead to a slightly better reaction. However her variables must be off the charts, or nonexistent as usual. It will not result in heartbreak, but rather mild discomfort. I must come to my senses first, action in this frail state is doomed.

>>19535069
>astrological implications

The Suicide by Borges

Not a single star will be left in the night.
The night will not be left.
I will die and, with me,
the weight of the intolerable universe.
I shall erase the pyramids, the medallions,
the continents and faces.
I shall erase the accumulated past.
I shall make dust of history, dust of dust.
Now I am looking on the final sunset.
I am hearing the last bird.
I bequeath nothingness to no one.

Thinking about trying to switch from writing on a laptop to writing on a phone. I spend so much time on my phone that it seems only natural that I would write better there. I actually got the idea when I read that the large majority of Japanese writers actually write on their phones.

I don't understand. I go to bed sober and get a perfectly healthy amount of sleep(7-8 hours) and still feel like garbage in the morning. I don't get it. I just don't get it.
What am I doing wrong?
https://youtu.be/AjZ1nci_BZc

>>19535167
You might have sleep apnoea or allergies.

>>19535242
what is that

I want to write a great novel but I also secretly believe that nothing great can be created anymore. There’s no way to reconcile both of these.

>>19535290
I believe that great novels can still be written but not recognized. They would also have to be effectively a sort of outsider art, the doesn't mean it has to be schizo, but just detached from the current literary culture and publishing institutions. I like to think that there are autists out there utterly oblivious to whatever twitter is talking about, honing their craft, only to be recognized for what they are hundreds of years from now by AI engaging in network archaeology.

>>19535322
I think the point about being an outsider is interesting. I’m not exactly sure what that means so I’d have you explain it further.

I suppose it’s possible. For me, there’s this internal conflict that arises because I realize that if I’m to write something great, I have to believe it can be great first. But I don’t. And I actually lack assured ness in myself generally. I don’t actually like myself or my life or what I’ve managed to do with it and I think very little of it. So the issue isn’t whether they objectively can be written, but if I believe I can do it.

>>19535021
An anon on /sci/ predicted that capitalism would collapse soon, as a result of ecological issues like climate change. What interested me was what they thought would come after. The prediction was that countries like the USA, the Europeans, India, China, Japan, etc.- the large powers and the developed nations, would embrace fascism. In contrast, the Africans, Middle Easterners, and other smaller groups would embrace anarcho-communism. I find the first one hard to believe, simply because Westerners are too ashamed/terrified of fascism to ever support it. The second part is likely.

>>19535553
>I find the first one hard to believe, simply because Westerners are too ashamed/terrified of fascism to ever support it
The more you deny, the more you want it.

>>19535561
What do you mean? I think I’m right. The memory of WWII still affects our culture and politics.

>>19535553
It depends what you consider fascism. I personally believe German National Socialism was a sign of what’s to come but perhaps without the racial element.

>>19535640
>but perhaps without the racial element.
What’s left then

>>19535568
I think where predictions are misguided is when they rely too much on theory. In theory, fascism is not popular among the current masses or the economic-technocratic ruling class today. And people would look towards the revolutions of the past like those of French or the Bolsheviks to indicate that the alternative which will come will, in fact, be something which does have popular sentiment in theory. But this is misguided. This system will come to an end not because the masses desire an alternative, but because it’s untenable. What we have/had is actually what the masses wanted and always will want. But there are wants and theories and then there are realities and facts. Wants rarely find themselves actualize in reality and theories even more so, but facts are necessarily a reality and the fact is that when things become untenable people turn to strongman politics.

>>19535661
Socialism as duty to nation but not race.

>>19533776
Aunt-nephew or uncle-niece relationships aren’t even incestual in my opinion. The only things which are taboo incest from my point of view are sibling and parent-child relationshops.

I'm willing to bet i have a far weirder life than you do. my aim for next year inshallah is to memorize as much Quran as possible, sitting alone in my one-roomer, only ever interacting with my one sufi-friend every once in a while. I don't really know arabic, but I figure if I compare between translations and use corpus Quran it will move forward. I don't expect to get far, because my mental fortitude is very much weakened by years and years of illness, but I'll do what I can. it turns out that this is what I will prefer to do should I become a millionaire, which I have (well, in my currency anyway- 300k € or so). long term there are no plans. I just need time. too much weird shit has happened. I have barely survived a number of times now, I've been suicidal all kinds of ways, I have almost been.. well murdered isn't exactly the right word, but it isn't exactly wrong, I have planned to murder someone, I have asked someone to murder someone, I have saved at least two lives, maybe three. I have destroyed people so bad I'm not sure they recovered- I have been destroyed so bad I'm not sure I recovered, and man have I ever been betrayed. Only trust God. One roomer, alone. God willing.

>>19535167
Sobriety is a meme, just smoke

>>19535553
Middle East surely has potential for ancom rebellion but only countries like Syria, Lebanon Iraq and Yemen. Most of other countries are too capitalist. How could a conservative country like Saudi Arabia embrace anarcho-communism?

Also authoritarian socialism is very popular in Russia so if west went fascist, USSR is surely going to come back. And in Europe Greek ancoms are going to take over the Parliament after next collapse.

>>19535553
It won't need climate change to collapse, it will crash by its own design.

>>19535951
stop. why are you guys like this?

I am a man and nothing human is alien to me.

>>19535040
Kek, metaphysics without ethics aren't even real.

>manager puts me up for a promotion
>have to wait months because bureaucracy
>tells me today the standards have changed and I'd actually have to take a test
>got a 70 on the state test I took to get hired (5 points away from failing) despite months and months of studying
>also lost another pair of headphones, bringing the total I've misplaced at work to 6 or 7
Fuuuuuuuuck my life

>>19526492
I feel extremely listless. This doesn't bode well for finals week. These feelings come like the tide. And I am being worn down to sand.

>>19536148
Why are you such a bitch?

Why are there no quotes by women philosophers but thousands of quotes about women by philosophers?

>>19536660
fuck you. i dont do anything wrong to any of you. i dont deserve this. you dont know what this is like

>>19535277
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_apnea
breathing problems while sleeping. causes mental problems while awake

I am a sad and lonely man.

Maybe I should apply for a government job

>>19536888
My fantasy is becoming rich, retiring, and then becoming a high school history teacher.

>>19536923
Not in America I hope
I’ve always wanted to be in the military

>>19536701
>>19536660

>>19536868
Every joyful man does good deeds and has good thoughts and despises grief. But the mournful man grieves the Holy Spirit which is given to man in joyfulness. For the intercession of the mournful man has nowhere power to ascend to the altar of God... the grief which is mixed with his intercession does not permit the intercession to ascend in purity to the altar. Therefore purify yourself from this wicked grief and you shall live to God and all shall live to God who cast away from themselves grief and put on all joyfulness.

Subahibi sucks but kawaranai kara koso and happy material are so comfy

>>19537278
interesting

Are songs jannied on /lit/? Theyre basically poetry.
>>19535096
Do you mean Borges of the Black Nobility?
>>19534581
LINGUISTICS >>> EVERYTHING
"In the begining was the word."

>>19536737
Listen man I have smoked a ton in my day. Coming off weed is nothing, an annoyance at worst

>>19537353
>"In the begining was the word."
Wanky bullshit devised by people who thought they were clever for being able to write

Sometimes I try coming here because I like literature but then I remember you're a bunch of losers and this board is boring and lifeless.

I find it especially irritating when people type "would of" when they mean "would've". I don't typically notice any other typo.

this swann odette thing is getting tiring

I love my life!

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

>>19537869
Song made by Jews.

>>19537882
No it's not

>>19537594
pfft go read a book or something, nerd

Keep having thoughts that maybe I should ultimately leave this younger girl alone and not ruin her life. I've already lied that I am younger than I really am (apparently large age gaps are sacrilegious amongst the zoomers) and she has a boyfriend, whom is although as young as her, richer than my whole family. I, despite being older, lack basically all of the material markers of those most my age (car, place to live, etc) possess. Writing this down makes me see it even more clearer tha I should quit it especially since my intentions are a long term relationship. Hopefully I run into her less and less though this will be hard because we frequent the same places.

Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they theses. Sometimes antitheses. Sometimes they are both of them at once.

>>19537896
Fair but many are https://www.kveller.com/11-iconic-christmas-songs-that-were-written-by-jews/

>>19537963
Ok

Can I be a proper nazi if I am somewhat mixed? My dad was white and american but my mother is argentinian, mostly white so italian, but has a small amount of native from her parents.
I ask because I have been very into nazi and fascist literature as of late, and I don't want it to be a waste of time.

>>19537912
Respect the camp ground rule: when dating someone substantially younger always leave it "better shape than you found them." Don't start a forest fire.

>Ok
_______________7777777777777777777777___________________
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u__________________________71_____7_____7___________5___
u__________________________o867___7_____7____73o7___7u__
5__________________________71d03________7__768d5_____71_
n__________________n5777774n__u005_77_____508u________u_
1__________________6u7u34u1nnnn4d86777771u8046u777711147
u___7777777________4174u7566u77_7d807__70806qd64447__7b5
n7__7777777771nnnnub47447nu3445477d81__48073n146457___du
_5_________________16777______7u7__b4uq8q7717777117__707
_71_________________ou36964664447__67_7n3u51777_7777_435
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______u7______7__73u4u43n076888888888888888884776q647___
______5_______7___77u0u77775888888888888888801_77db7____
_____17_______7_____u8454u4n88888888888888807_771577____
_____5______________1u_7ub67ud8888888888d6137740d7______
____17____________________ndu774d444q57773u3dd375_______
___n7______________________50b76b75uu97757q9udb7________

>>19538000
>t.

>>19538000
Nice digits but can't see it on my phone

Had a girl sit with me in her peripheral vision and completely copy my sitting posture in class today. Every time I shifted to a new position she did the same including bouncing her leg at the same rhythm as me. Pretty sure I'm in there.

>>19538129
I hate when people do that.

>>19538129
anon leave the facility and don't go back.

I have no moral center. I will fraternize with any group online, nazis, communists, trannies, racists, Christians, Spaniards, Jews, and feign that I believe what they do for my own amusement. Often times, temporarily, I do believe it only to discard the thought later like a mask. And I will contribute substantially to their threads in full earnestness providing thoughtful and trenchant comments, regardless of whether whether it positively contributes to their cause or elevates their values. Or, on the contrary, makes a vicious mockery of them and lays waste to their most cherished arguments, hopes, and dreams.
I am an egoist.
I have transcended ideology.
I am beyond your control.

>>19538247
>inb4 b8
you believe this until the moment you have to do a single transgressive act IRL and you freeze up lmao.

>>19537995
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Walther_Darr%C3%A9
Here you go, friendo

The faggots at my university finally made """vaccination""" mandatory. Could you have believed in 2018 that in just 3 years you would be forced to inject mrna every 3 months to hold a job or get an education?

>>19538197
I don't know what this means.

>>19538155
Only women/girls have ever done it to me before and my little brother when he gets really nervous.

What is there to do in this world? Since I must die, is it not just as well that I should kill myself? If I had already passed my sixtieth year, I should respect the prejudices of my contemporaries, and wait patiently till nature had finished me in its course; but since I begin to experience misfortune, and since nothing is a pleasure to me, why should I support a life in which nothing prospers for me?

What is 'singularity theory' and what does it want from 'me'. What is the purpose of analysis. Disprove complacency. It works.

If singularity theory puts me in Algeria what is to be gained, and what would I be but a new set of parameters, and their sum.
Why then, should I ever have even found myself here, if not to realize that the mind wants to catapult towards the annihilation of known parameters. Is it instinct? To compile and sample and discard and reapply. Yes, this is how we change. The present re-orders the past to construct the future. In enough time, even that future can become the past. The exact mechanics behind why these specific reconstructions teases itself as an image of thought beyond reasoning. No real change is made. The present simply took hold, you will tell yourself in the future. Then, if you're still there, that future too will come to pass. I cannot say.

But as sure as water rushes to salt, I know we seek dissolution. As sure as water rescinding, I will be the stubborn calcium deposit left behind.

Dude idk3k on9wnnot im so tumcit ip it dpesntniegjet mayter non pne gives q shit about me. I can get as drink as onwantm. Xoesntb matyer. Im the xinjinping of weednsmoking. Nonone cares.

>>19538579
One of these days your gonna fuck up your lungs or your liver

I'm clinically fucking depressed, my life is shit, the only reason I haven't killed myself is due to that I'm a coward about it and that pay attention, supposedly I want my OCs to exist, I want people to know about my ideas for comics, paintings and stories, that's it.
How can I stop caring about the latter and take the plunge into suicide? I AM bored and tired, stressed.

I hate work. I HATE WORK. I wish I could build things and sell them to financially provide for myself. I don't know how to make anything or how to sell anything.

>>19538624
Find Christ and make propaganda for the Patriot Front

>>19538681
I'm not stupid enough to be religious, sorry lad. Had a harder life than you, this is it, no after anything.

>>19538380
the thing that pisses me off about it so much is the people who are getting sick and dying of covid don't work, so forcing workers to get vaxxed is pointless. very few people over 350 pounds or 85 years old work.

>>19538623
I think there alradygone bro. Its over. Im dust. I try so hard. I really do, i swear. But its over. I drank som much tonight. Its over. Im alrsau dead.

I've been an incel since my early teenage years, and it has made my relationships with women and friends and family difficult throughout high-school and college. I had extreme anxiety and self-harmed like twice a day, was just in constant mental anguish, would wake up in the middle of the night crying etc. Part of it was anger at being constantly rejected in a lot of aspects of life, other part was trauma from being molested as a kid, which gave me trust issues. Finally attempted suicide after I finished my senior year. I wanted to complete my thesis (was on Gravity's Rainbow) before I totally gave up on life. But I failed at suicide too, got sent to a psychiatric ward for a few months. Met a lot of retarded people with retarded problems and behaviors. Was an excruciatingly painful period.

Now I'm living alone in a new city, working a minimum wage job. Spend my free time writing and reading. Occasionally I'm attacked by a sudden memory, usually a single thought of a girl I loved or a person I hate, which overwhelms me and makes me feel sick in the stomach. Then it passes, and I'm back to normal again.

But it's interesting to me, because this is the first time I've felt almost... happy with the state of loneliness I'm in? It's weird, and I don't know if I can properly describe it. But I feel like I returned to how I felt as a kid, when the world seemed very new and like any path in life was possible. I feel glad that I've missed out on so many quintessential adolescent experiences that other people romanticize. It's like I've escaped some trap that everyone else I know fell into, like I'm still unformed and capable of becoming anything. Even though in the end it's all cope.

>>19538695
>I'm not stupid enough to be religious
Elaborate
>Had a harder life than you
Elaborate

I feel one of the worst parts of capitalism is that it degrades and atomizes the family. I read Marx hoping to see how to end this system, only to find out Marx wanted the family to be destroyed by capitalism and saw that destruction as key to establishing socialism. God damn it. I can’t be a fascist because I am against racism and because I find it hypocritical. I can’t be a Marxist because I like things like family, culture, etc. which Marx wants gone. Oh well. Maybe global warming will cause capitalism to collapse.

>>19538626
What kind of things do you want to make? There are still craftsmen who make a living. Handmade products sell at a very high premium.

>>19538863
Technology is one thing that can free humanity from work, but there would have to be population contol.

>>19538863
You realise that etymologically speaking, amything that ends with -ism is a belief? Just like how Capitalism is the belief in Capital and Communism is that of the Commune, so to Racism or Sexism the belief in the noun sans the suffix. I believe race exists, that enough is classify me as a Racist, but that doesn't necessarily mean I harbour hatred to every other race.
>>19538897
Hello, Herr Schwab.

>>19538915
Gern geschehen Herr anon

>>19538915
>I believe race exists, that enough is classify me as a Racist,
No, it's enough to classify you as racial realist.
>but that doesn't necessarily mean I harbour hatred to every other race.
Then you're an anti-racist racial realist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES1b8EEpQO8

>>19538956
>No
For (((them))) it is.
>Then you're an anti-racist racial realist.
You see, life is a zero sum game. There's only so many of anything to go around, and that is a point of contention. Racial tension tends to come about from such. An example being borders. You may have something, and someone else may want it. Trouble is, they may have enough power to seize it from you as happened in the Polish Partition (the first one). If you read the Bible, you'll see the true nature of man. So much as we aspire to that which is good and get along, we are capable of so much evil. Play 'Web Diplomacy' or study Machiavelli and you'll see it in practice.
A simple analogy of race is to say we are as breeds of dogs: some are stronger than others, some are smarter than others, some have funny faces, but are they still not dogs? They say Chimpanzes share 99.8% DNA with us, yet it is what they don't share that sets us apart. They can't talk, they can't walk, they have no concept of morality nor higher reasoning, and they can't interbreed with us like we can among ourselves (which I oppose).
>>19538936
Just like how /int/ is full of Scandis, /lit/ is replete with Germans; I can sometimes tell by those weird quotation marks.

>>19538814
read dostoevsky

>>19535553
Mussolini wrote that fascism would take forms specific to the nations that embrace it, which is a doctrine rooted in pre-fascist socialism that he came from and the root from where you get "-with Chinese characteristics".

Personally I think this is what will dominate a post-capitalist world, a world of hyphenated characteristics that will seem incoherent to those who have taken the 20th century, post-war order, as a universal metric for political alignment.
For example any burgeoning Fascist movement with any real potential will be required to obliterated groups like Neo-Nazis out of existence, along with National Socialist types who think they can transplant what worked for 1930's Germany wholesale to their own nation. The 20th century must be killed if the 21st century is to have a chance.

>>19539200
And how is Fascism better than National Socialism?

fuck.m im finished....,

>>19539235
So the main difference is that Natsocizs tell you a lie.

>>19539259
How so?

>>19539235
National Socialism is Fascism-With German Characteristics. Italy wasn't Fascist, it was Fascist-With Italian Characteristics. Your infographic misunderstands this because it is engaging in abstractions not reality.

Did you not get that this was my point? There is no pure Universal Platonic Fascism, or any ideology for that matter, in practice.
This isn't about Mussolini vs Hitler, I simply don't care about your gay infographic, this is about not ignoring the real conditions and character of your nation and its people in favour of sterile ideological abstractions created in service of other nations, other people, at other times.

This is the point, people can't see what is right in front of their face because they are trapped in a hell of abstractions playing definition games with each other.

>>19539286
Then define Fascism in 2000 characters or less

>>19539325
What is the shape of the "Thing" from the movie "The Thing" ? Depends on what body it is currently passing through, what it is doing in that body at the time.

Definition will not save your political project. Only engagement with what is immediately real. If you want something unchanging, transcendental, universal, find God. Politics is chaos, pure becoming, you have to step in to the stream and impose order on it for as long as you can hold. This answer will not satisfy you because you are looking for round pegs to fill round holes within a rationalized system of thought, they don't exist and theory is for fags.

>>19539257
you're the xi jinping of weed smoking, your never finished
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li0ntSIHY-E

>>19538422
"Come ooon! Let's kill ourselves!"
"We can't!"
"Why?"
"We're waiting for Goodthingtohappen!"
Both scream in agony.
A little boy comes up.
"Good evening, gentlemen! Unfortunately, monsieur Goodthingtohappen will not be able to come today, but promises to be here tomorrow!"

I had a full blown psychotic episode last. Was hospitalized and everything. It was scary

>>19539384
>What is the shape of the "Thing" from the movie "The Thing" ? Depends on what body it is currently passing through, what it is doing in that body at the time.
I don't think it's a good idea for us to compare "our" ideology to a parasite

>>19539259
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOy8HeZrt3Y

>>19537995
Mejor no seas boludo

>>19539439
can you describe the feeling?

>>19539652
No him

But it is an extreme feeling of impending doom, every second is drenched in death and vanity, your eye freeze in wide open position, basic things like eating and walking seems impossible, you totally give, your personality start melting down from monstrous lucidity, you feel like your body is going clod and shutting down, you start crying every five minutes, all of the philosophical perplexities start popping up from every crack etc.

It is really not explainable desu. Psychotic breakdowns are just something else, they turn a "normal" mind into a torture chamber in the matter of hours. I will never forgetting the sight of my dilating eyes when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

it's official evergrande defaulted on its debt, tripguy xi on suicide watch

>>19526492
would anyone read a book by a schizophrenic?
a guy starts to freak out and think crows are communicating with him. he's guided to a couple stashes of treasure, finds lost children and reveals killers for some time until there's a greater reveal about a crow society. people brought trinkets or guided to survival and success in life through the divination powers of crows.
crows are portrayed as alien or ancient, something beyond earthly realms as they've guided humanity and possibly even engineered the death of the dinosaurs. terraforming earth eventually with humans through agriculture and aquaculture.
society of crow people are beyond rich and powerful and war erupts beyond the mass of commoners and internal conflict arises due to people wanting to reveal the motivations of the crows as mysterious as they are so that people know why they are being used as they are. as basically a lower-slave class while a select few are able to randomly climb society for reasons unknown to anyone but the society. the lower class being used for experiments and disappeared, to be slaves, intellectually or physical and killed for advancements in biological computing technology.
the man becomes a pillar of society, a person who remembers where he came from (foreshadowing) and must balance the conflict between the separate classes of society and eventually must decide on the fate of the crows and their ultimate motivation (to become entirely human and more with the advances of technology achieved through their economic manipulations, like the squirrels in rick and morty).
he gives some crows form and they diverge into human sympathetic and khan(star trek)-like predatory, believing all the ancient crows that have reincarnated the memories of their lives through eons deserve a greater place than the slaves that were guided by their all-knowing sentience.
at this point, technology explodes because of the abilities of godlike beings given form beyond birds and the ultimate motivation of the crows is made known.
>to prevent the annihilation of existence due to the big crunch as they must propogate the universe in a race to create a super structure that can withstand the infinite vacuum and heat of entropy. black holes and dark matter exist as cosmic remnants of the previous universes attempts to withstand the end of the universe and in each incarnation has come back as some sort of creature except for humans at which they realise is some sort of almost infinite cycle to evolve to the 5th dimension and eliminate the meaninglessness of pain and existence by evolving into some free will being that can grant enlightenment to the continuity of all...(cont)

transitions technologically from the 70's to what is only speculative now, like genetic engineering (immortality) and advanced computers (ai/transfer of consciousness etc) and themes are economic structures, wealth distribution, power dynamics and questions of unlimited power and ability through technology.

>>19538380
Yes. Easily.

> want to be an artist
> believe that great art can no longer be made
> always frustrated when creating

>>19540126
>believe that great art can no longer be made
thats only holding you back

>>19540108
>like if suddenly after eons of death and silence your mind was finally given heaven and you understood everything as a god (or what the crows want everything to evovle into)

the conflict is whether it's possible to do anything more than add more mass and memory to darkmatter/black holes and slowly edge toward totality of reincarnation or if existence beyond the great death is possible.
so there are those looking for an efficient annihilation and those wanting to invest everything into whatever solution can reverse "contraction of the universe"

as the old man has existed for only like, 90 years at this point and it seems like a moot point to the masses to the tell them, it just devolves into the predatory faction and sympathetic faction vying for power in the form of consciousness-stealing technology (think matrix) and if ultimately humanity is subject to pain and annihilation or if they'll be used as the next step in existence and the search for free will

>ideas pertaining to the constraints of free will and suffering. non-existence vs slavery. ascension and faith.

i want people who havent really tripped out and felt the universe (their mind) warp look to the edges of their consciousness and hope for the future regardless of how terrifying boredom or pain might be.
what enlightenment could mean if free will was possible.

thoughts? i would do it over 3 short novellas or at least 3 parts to grow the backstory since i want to make it like a first-person perspective in the way short-stories at told in a greater story. but ultimately surrounding the actions of the the main guy who is an analogy for odin

>i only get proper sleep if i drink like 5 beers and 5 shots of jamie before going to bed and sleeping like 4 hours
Clown world.
https://youtu.be/OsaaP0_66C8

Wich writer's death would deserve a sticky?

>>19540138
Great Art cannot be made when civilization is about to collapse. Why bother when climate change will wipe out the peace we enjoy?

>>19540165
Go back to smoking weed and focus on quitting alcohol. Weed is not good for you but it’s much better than drinking.

I dont know what I want. It's not like I have a few options from which I'm unable to choose but there's nothing. Complete void.

Just took my passport photo completely hungover. Based or cringe?
>>19540633
You know i cant do that. See that was always the big secret. The weed addiction is just a cover up for my much larger love for alcohol. No way i can quit it. I love drinking so much.
https://youtu.be/0ZoI1QKI1KY

Had a dream today, in which I've discovered that my penis was 3 times the real length. I thought to myself: finally! Something to be proud of! It was a warm, pleasant feeling.
Naturally, my newly-found pride was of no use during the rest of the dream, though at one point some young girl in yoga pants did gently pat my buttocks as I walked past her.

>>19539714
but why?

I waste so much time looking for girls, talking to them, flirting and seducing them... but when I get what I want - be it some nudes or a date - they become such a burden and a waste of time in my eyes, and I end up just ghosting them if I can.
To be honest the flirting is better than whatever lame sex I get most of the time.
Why am I like this... FUCK

>>19541015
Young and not serious. Wait for the serious need for connection and then find someone to love.

>>19538624
ANYFUCKINGONE
HELP ME OUT
I DONT WANT TO BE TOLD
OMG DONT KILL YOURSELF I DONT WANT THAT
I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF MY WANTS, ASPIRATIONS AND THE FEELING OF "FUCK, I HAD A COOL IDEA, MAYBE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE IT"
I WAS BORN POOR
I AM TALENTLESS

I NEED TO GET RID OF THAT AND SKIP TO END, NOTHING. NOT MINDING NOT DOING WHAT I WANTED.

>>19541110
>I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF MY WANTS, ASPIRATIONS AND THE FEELING OF "FUCK, I HAD A COOL IDEA, MAYBE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE IT"
>I WAS BORN POOR
>I AM TALENTLESS
I don't think you can, without losing more. I don't think it would be a good idea.

>>19541192
What do you mean? My hero is Yukio Mishima, if I was good at art, if I had already something that people cared about; I'd happily kill myself but this is the reason that keeps me here.

>>19541110
You'll die eventually, anyway, might as well indulge in your artisitic endeavors while you can
Stop being so fucking lazy and go draw, faggot
You have all the resources you could ever ask for
And don't give me any bullshit excuses because I'm an artist as well

>>19541015
you sound like a soulless faggot owned by his coomerism

>>19541015
>Happy feeling YAY!

>>19541285
?

>>19541305
You're engaged in the shallowest of behavior chasing happy feelings by damaging yourself and these retarded girls and wondering what the cause of your mental dysfunction is. Completely co-opted by the slight high you get from female attention and it's affirmation of your value.

There are only 2 genders

>>19539652
For me and people I've known it's more paranoid symptoms, you start getting really defensive and suspecting weird shit of people around you but you can't really notice that you're doing it or being unreasonable. So it builds up slowly and you go from slightly "haha... that's weird... I'm probably having an episode or something lol" to full blown "YOU CAN'T FUCKING TELL ME THESE TWO THINGS ARE UNRELATED!!!" without noticing the transition.

Past that point it's a living nightmare because your paranoia is over-active and seeing everything as a threat, so every thing that can defuse the paranoia is possible to undermine by seeing it too as a threat. The constant state of panic and agitated nerves then make you increasingly unreasonable and more and more unusual thinking starts to seep in until you are telling some rando off about how he didn't fool you or w/e. It's a very isolated feeling, and it gets worse the longer you stay in it because people weren't meant to be in defense mode with high strung nerves and nothing to aim it at for that long.

The best way to describe the feeling of full psychosis is, have you ever had a dream where things made sense in the dream but made no sense once you woke up? Not a really interesting cool dream either, just one with the typical "dream logic" progression of events or conversations. It's not like one delusional thing sets the stage, it's more like you switch from thing that doesn't make sense to equally incompatible thing that doesn't make sense from moment to moment, with no way to rise above that switching. That's a lot like psychosis for at least some people.

Full blown psychotic delusions like hallucinations and shit sound like hell. I've watched some things on youtube to give me better awareness of what those people deal with so I can help them as much as I can or at least not make it worse.

It's so sad.

> Know cute, petite girl.
> When music comes up, all she talks about is rap.
Is she one of *those* chicks? Someone help me out here. There are like 5 black guys at our school so it's not likely that she actually is or could be even if she was, but just the thought the she's into that fucking kills me. Is she garbage? I want to love her but I can't stop thinking about the BBC meme and it's making me fucking cringe. I'm so fucking terminally online.

>>19542182
girls get their taste from ex boyfriends. cant blame them

>>19542182
>but I can't stop thinking about the BBC meme
1. It’s a porn meme relax
2. Liking rap music does not mean you’ve fucked a black guy
3. Please explain why fucking a black guy is so much worse than being promiscuous within your race or say with Asian/Indian/etc men

>>19526492
Today was the final class for a small seminar. Walking with them after class. And they're talking about how great it was getting to know eachother and I just stay silent. Immediately leave at the exit without even saying goodbye. Same as I always do. Idk why I'm like this. I have a feeling I'm going through this life alone till the end. I wish someone would cut me open pull out my insides, make me an empty repository, and stomp me into the dust. I do not belong among human beings. Put me in the shed.

> my dick is 6''
Should I just kms?

>>19542374
Maybe make small talk next time? Or ask them out for lunch? These things are 100% in your control anon. I know it’s hard, but things will get better as you practice more.
>>19542376
Same. The average is 5” IIRC. I’ve made women cum with my willy so it’s not all bad.

>>19531434
Good for you, anon.
>>19530875
Here's is a like for you.
>>19529243
It's good enought for me, mate. I like it.

Something weird is happening the past few days. Normally, I can't smell a thing, it's like my nose is turned off (due to depression). But in the past week it started working again, yet I only smell one thing. It's the smell of my childhood backyard. That sounds insane but it's true, even though realistically I should only be able to smell coffee or semen in my room. But I also identify this smell with Autumn/Fall, so it makes sense it's happening right now.

But it's weird. Why this smell? Maybe it's a sign my depression is improving. Maybe I've been depressed for so long that my brain is trying to remember what it was like before being depressed, so it goes back to my teenage years. I dunno. Either way this could be interesting. I had no one else to tell so I'm just writing it here

>>19542392
>Maybe make small talk next time? Or ask them out for lunch? These things are 100% in your control
Yes that is what a human would do. I could do what you're saying but I've been completely socially isolated so long it feels like I can't. The thought of talking doesn't enter into my head only how to exit and disappear as quickly as possible.
Years and years have passed me by.

>>19540108
This sounds awesome. I'd read it.

>>19539447
It is a parasite. All thought is parasitic.

>>19542376
>He cares about women's pleasure
Are you fo real dawg?

>>19542107
I think I experienced this once as a result of using DXM and from losing my religious faith. It's a very strange and alienating state to be in. The feeling of almost godlike power combined with an extreme sense of victimization. Also the sense of reality itself being infinitely open/undetermined, that nothing is certain so anything is possible. I kind of miss it if I'm honest.

>>19526587
I don't get your reasoning. How could art ever be outdated? Sure most people probably won't give a shit about yours - which is why you should make it primarily for yourself, for the love of the process.

Kafka would laugh so hard writing his short stories that his neighbours would complain. This is what you should aspire to. The joy to be found in your own cogitations. His life was also fucking miserable but he had that. Not to mention he wanted all of his works to be burnt after his death, what does that tell you?

>>19526492
I remain seated while I arch my back and aim my sight at the firealarm above my head, not an arm length away. Due to a peculiarity of its installation, or an assembly design, or simply for the sake of the landlord’s psychotic tendency to keep tabs on every movable item, the two composite elements of the alarm are marked by a serial number. 1031.1032. The lower part bearing a more cone-shaped form, almost protruding through space to find the next element in the chain needed for operation to commence. 1033. 1034. I am seated beneath it as a terminal point in the accumulation of levels. I am the final level in the fire-presupposing machine, animated by the anticipatory drive towards immolation, the kind even the composite alarm would not be able to detect. Quiet self-annihilation at the peak of an assembly line. 1035. 1036. It wants to bring everyone outside. It wants everyone to escape the halls for immolation to cease, not knowing that it is summoned here on the ceiling for this sole purpose. The screeching agent of destruction. 1037. 1038. It explodes in an abrupt scream, begging you to escape. The levels have led it to descend far enough to incorporate you into its schematics, you have been leveled, appropriated, functionalized. The futility of an escape attacks your imagination. The alarm superstructure precedes the formation of the building, its screams are echoes from the unencountered past of ruptured continuity. The sole reason for the demarcation of its levels was to substantiate the realization that you would inevitably be incorporated into the structure. 1039. 1040. You exult a healthy scream, finally at peace, no other role but to screech in agony over the physical plane. You close off the endless process of level accumulation, you assume no functional purpose, you no longer scream at a sight of fire. Complete dysfunctionality, running counter to the manufacturer’s goal. An assembly line culminating at nothing. 0. 0.

I can see the beauty of women reflected in men and men reflected in women Rustication in beuty and Beauty in Rustication .

>>19542645
dxm is literally the dumbest thing I have ever used.
At low doses I felt like an ubermensch and at my plat dosage I became a complete nihilist. I literally spent 3 days with a rotting rabbit carcass in my room pondering its fate and how I'd played a role in its death (my cat brought it into the house and may have given it a fatal injury before fucking with it and I brought her into my room) I had to go to do a mental health checkup and the person there was like "yeah I dont know he's crazy or something talking about rotting rabbit carcass in his room" meanwhile disregarding the fact my hands had turned into the Snakes, and I referred them as "my Snake Aides" (I was just holding my hands out in a c-shape, and having sublingual mental conversations with them while thinking about how to go about explaining my situation to this person)
Yeah do what you want but 10 days in a mental ward is enough to convince me not to go back and I've definitely gotten all that omniscient metaphysical bullshit at the back of my head at any given time.

>>19542645
>>19542951
yea don’t do dxm

>>19528386
Fucking ask. You're 28 for Christ's sake.

>>19528259
Good analysis. Little monkey must transcend.

>>19527572
Don't kill yourself, enslave yourself to higher ethical principles.

>>19538624
Don't kill yourself, make something cool instead.

>>19532297
Probably would.

>>19532404
Doesn't everyone? If not for the social and emotional repercussions and my mortal limitations I'd make love to every woman I find hot.

>>19532700
Means nothing. Enjoyable post nonetheless.

>>19538422
Don't kill yourself. Be a good friend, son, partner, father, uncle etc. Also what I said above to two other suicidal anons. Make kids laugh.

three poems.

The first poem is an attempt at fusing holophonic rhyme, holorime, my invented quantitative meter and a new invention “ rithimos-inversus” which is when you rhyme the 10th syllable with the first, 9th with the second etc throughout the entirety of both lines.

holorimetical hermestrismetricus+ rithimos-inversus

veil of vain their wane and weals,
chords they’re hued by rites of rolls
bale of brain their pain and spells,
swords their crude twilight of scrolls
vale of vein their wain and wheels,
cords they’re hew’d eyesight of roles
pale of stain their train and cells,
boards their rood by lights of souls.

holes of night by broods their wards
shells and sprains their plane of scale,
bowls of finite stewed their lords
peels and chain their feign of tale,
coals of stibite glued their hordes
bells and bane their reign of grail,
soles of sprites by rude pray’r poured
yells and slain their fain of wail.


Second poem

This one utilizes a form of writing I call autometrical writing, it is akin to automatic writing however you agree before writing to write as quickly a set of arbitrary rules, the rules in this one being metrical and assonance based.

thus spake the spriggan shimmering with light
“hush and listen the mirth of fey in spring
i sang they sprung I sing the song of earth’s
myrrh and sobbing winter becomes summer,
again I stray my lay among spuming
loom of long not lost but knowledge of alm
and almond Rod but rimmed with golden ore,
boreal or autumnal or diurnal,
this furnace fury flame of mothling born
to mottle Oberons agates of green
and rubies rose and more of ashen leaf.
that God bequeath as maker man’s and seed
and reed and weir and sapphire his throne
Of Lordliness glorious solely Gods.”

Third poem

This one is an attempt to control myself to focus more on narrative as fixation on sound often makes the imagery dissolve.

Forlorn I saw the dragon in his gyre
Weeping coronachs with damnations choir,
With the enchanted rill of hells pyre
Rose the dirges shrill with perdition’s fire.

“Being bound I bind by octinomos
My name as conquering prince omphalos,
Crowned I grind the rind of qlippha-cosmos
As serpent-Christ upon the Cross of Los”

With ebon gloom and deeper gloom the black
Cross had plumed with incandescence inverse,
The torch of iridescence cold and black
Scorched with night the flesh of devils inverse.

The vision and the voice subside and yet remain as priest and prince and prison guard and warden and the dragon and the Lord are rendered vestiges of a vestige.

>>19542984
youre like that pompous annoying poet in the borges’ story with the aleph

>>19542996
Thanks! Great story and I’ve tried to cultivate a lot of pompous/decadent pretentiousness in my writing.

>>19526492
ok ok so for example i listen to a michael jackson song right, then i think to myself "wow i live in the context of a michael jackson song. comfortable music. just michael through life" right. this leads to a kind of identity fundamentalism. but 20 minutes later i find something else i can also identify with, which is so different from the thing before that i can hardly tie them together into a unified (aesthetic) narrative. like uhh that probably doesn't even make sense fuck my life, but my problem is like.. see i want to have a culture, but i cant. i want to have a way of living, but i cant. too many perspectives, too many aesthetics. i could make art out of that mulitiplicity and identify with the resulting aesthetic sure, but thats not a beautiful way to live or perceive reality isnt it. i dont want to become a yt pooper or adult swim type guy...

>>19542951
>Yeah do what you want but 10 days in a mental ward is enough to convince me not to go back and I've definitely gotten all that omniscient metaphysical bullshit at the back of my head at any given time.
Oh I'm never doing it again too afraid my brain will rot. But I just mean I kind of miss the general disassociative state. I remember on the days after taking it just the feeling of being simlataneously a god, liked I'd unlocked the key to the universe, and a tiny bug that should be stomped out. I really miss that feeling. So horrible and great at the same time. It definitely changed how I perceive reality. If there was a way I could naturally get back into that state without harming my brain just for a day or two I'd do it.

>>19542964
It's not that bad. As long as you're careful and you don't take a super high does, you'll probably be okay. I never got hospitalized or anything.

>>19539077
I mean, you're correct. I recommend watching the nature documentary Nature: Arctic Wolf Pack. Human beings are a lot like arctic wolves from an overall comprehensive Human Behavioral Ecological (HBE) context.
However, I'm not sure I agree with your reactionary conclusions. People are still individuals. Even if trends exist among their race, I think racial determinism is still stupid since exceptions/outliers always exist. In fact, I would argue many world traditions began with from such exceptional people such as the Buddha.
It's still best to keep in mind some people cannot be understood simply from overly simplified racial models. There can be individual chihuahuas smarter or wiser than the average border collie, even though that is rare.
Consider for example some humans decide to have no children due to various philosophical reasons. This already indicates some people simply transcend or step outside the evolutionary fold, which I would argue fosters delusions when clung to.

Chinese intellectuals make me cringe.

New thread
>>19543092

>>19542684
This reads like something I would've picked up out of my dads light reading repertoire and scarred me as a kid.

>>19542472
Sometimes when a person is freezing to death his body begins to feel warm again

>>19543023
the zoomer, ladies and gentleman. look and see.