/lit/ - Literature

no one on /wg/ writes.

>>19506415
Here's some stuff I'm working on.

1. A man pays a prostitute for the girlfriend experience, then spends most of their time together driving around town and talking about all the stuff that's happened to him in all the places they visit. He's planning on killing himself after fucking her.
2. An up and coming lawyer tries to take on internet piracy with a mass-letter campaign, sending people letters demanding they pay up or else. A vain man, he googles his own name to see if this campaign has made him into a celebrity of any kind, and to his horror discovers he has become a laughing stock at an anonymous imageboard, where the people have not only uncovered his embarrassing past but are also looking into the legal gray areas his company is engaged in.
3. A group of people living in the late 19th century find themselves aboard a train with no staff. The train brings them to a station in the middle of a dark, forbidding forest, with evidence of previous inhabitants but no sign of anyone present. They discover drinking the water here makes people forget things. Some argue they are in the afterlife, some argue this is some grand social experiment. The decision on what to do splinters the group as some seek to escape into the woods, others seek to get the train started again and others still try to make new lives for themselves in the abandoned houses around the station.
4. A nomad warrior recounts his violence-filled life and how he ended up becoming the Judas-figure of a new religion.

>>19506462
>1. A man pays a prostitute for the girlfriend experience, then spends most of their time together driving around town and talking about all the stuff that's happened to him in all the places they visit. He's planning on killing himself after fucking her.
I don't really see much of a climax here unless she stops him and falls in love with him.
>>19506421
That's not true, you write the same post over and again every thread.

>>19506462
1.Nobody cares about your doomer thoughts
2.Troll
3.Has potential if you have god dialogues
4.Could be good or bad

Ideas aren't that important anon

>>19506462
1 & 4 interesting

2 & 3 meh

>>19506462
I can see 3 working but will need good characters. Almost like a The Mist style story. Conflicting personalities in an enclosed space.

>>19506497
>The Mist
One of my characters is a nun arguing the train is Charon's ferry and the water is taken from the river Lethe.

>>19506462
>1. A man pays a prostitute for the girlfriend experience, then spends most of their time together driving around town and talking about all the stuff that's happened to him in all the places they visit. He's planning on killing himself after fucking her.
Kek, I remember you. I asked for story suggestions and after giving this one away you decided to keep it for yourself. I hope you can make a good story out of it.

I'm going to write a feminist short story for a contest because they want 1500 words and I want the prize money. Any suggestions? It's supposed to be about domestic violence.

>>19506522
So do I. I've been writing it from the woman's perspective

>>19506532
Write about battered wife syndrome and a women who finally kills her abuser

>>19506535
>from the woman's perspective
Have you seen I'm Thinking of Ending Things?

>>19506535
Yeah, that seems like the best choice, considering the ending you are going for. It is also more interesting to examine the woman's impressions on the man, who is meant to be something of a mystery, as she might go from finding him boring, to abnormal, to creepy, to pitiful, to even a little charming. You made the right call with the POV.

>>19506554
Charlie Kaufman is my favorite filmmaker, yes.

>>19506540
A little trite, but it might work. The idea I have right now is to write from the abuser's perspective. He's only started to beat his wife when he meets a woman who has been in an abusive relationship for a much longer time. In realizing how destroyed that woman's life is he realizes the path he's headed down and decides to cut ties with his wife immediately to save both her and himself. What do you think?

>>19506532
to expand on >>19506540 and make it a bit more interesting, write about the trial after and play with the whole "women oppressed" thing by having mean prosecutor and male dominated court-room, but have her win the case in the end and be vindicated by an ethnically and gender diverse jury
hell, if I knew the contest I would go ahead and write this myself now that I've written out my advice

>>19506571
Based. Your premise, especially when told from the woman's perspective, reminds me a lot of I'm Thinking of Ending Things. I suppose it's far less abstract but still hits the same notes.

trying to quite wagecuck job and start doing remote freelance writing while working on a book, anyone ever do something along those lines?
keep seeing ads in the craigslist job section for freelance writing from the IAPWE for articles/blogposts/etc... for either ~$50 an article or ~$100 an article, both say for 500 word pieces

I want to write a story that's mostly set in the ocean. Tips for describing the ocean?

>>19506483
A reversal is unnecessary. It could just be a book about fate with good prose.

>>19506637
Bluey-blue, ocean-deep, globally-round, gravitationally-affected

>>19506637
emphasize the mystery of its contents, its overwhelming presence, its place as our origin but also something alien to us

>>19506578
I'm not American, but considering how much of that ideology we're buying it might work.

>>19506637
Salty.

>>19506637
Watch the Titantic sinking scene to appreciate its terrifying power. The sheer weight of the ocean brought it down.

>>19506637
play this https://store.steampowered.com/app/384190/ABZU/

What character trait is used to describe someone who believes in nothing but still tries to uphold moral principles.

>>19506743
>Watch the Titantic sinking scene to appreciate its terrifying power.
i guess, but not really

>>19507153
Uptight

>>19507168
To each is own. Melville's musing in Moby Dick is the only other thing that comes to mind unless you are just interested in basic imagery

"Consider the subtleness of the sea; how its most dreaded creatures glide under water, unapparent for the most part, and treacherously hidden beneath the loveliest tints of azure."

Genuinely think I could pull off writing a girls love light novel. Any thoughts?

>>19507218
It's called selling out. I wouldn't blame you. Check out /r/eroticaauthors

>>19506462
they sound painfully boring

Post an excerpt from Your Diary Desu, right now, or be cursed with roller coaster prose for this month.

https://pastebin.com/XsMrq5E9
Thoughts? It’s the last chapter, so I’m more curious if my tone seems appropriate. Is there to much crying? Too blatant with wrapping up themes?

>>19506597
Have quit my job and have moved to South Americabc it’s cheap, doing freelance work online atm but not writing related. Writing in my own time though. Just do it anon.

>>19506637
The open boat stephen crane.

>>19506637
moby dick is the best inspiration you could possibly get

any thoughts

What is the worst writing advice you’ve gotten? Mine was “just write it perfectly on the first draft and you won’t have to bother with editing or a second draft.” Which is obviously retarded but the guy was being completely serious. I don’t think he’d ever written before.

Hold this for me. It's my new reaction image.

How do I imply my main character is in a sexless unhappy marriage without making it too obvious, I want it to be subtle enough for whoever's reading not to immediately catch on it's porn

>>19507218
Just because you can doesn't mean you should

>>19508946
>subtle
>it's porn
As an erotica author/enjoyer, I suggest you pick one. The less subtle your writing is, the better porn it makes. Say outright in your narrative voice that he thinks she's an uptight bitch or whatever.

>>19508988
It starts off subtle to make the later rape scene more shocking

>>19509055
Rape porn enthusiasts will probably have already stopped reading

>>19509055
>rape scene
so is it "rape" rape or the kind of rape women fantasize about? because if its the former your book isn't really porn
>sexless unhappy marriage without making it too obvious
it should be obvious. have her be like oh I have a headache and have him mentally bitch about it

>>19508946
Try to show moments that look like they could have been intimate but without a romantic tone. Make it standoffish or distant. Have characters split up when they have an opportunity instead of going together. Have characters notice things that evoke romance but dont show them do anything romantic to each other. Maybe even an empty vase, may or may not mention that flowers used to be in it. Even if it's not said explicitly, it should become apparent to the reader that something is missing in their life.

>>19509074
The point is to get people reading out of curiosity then make it hit them like a truck

>>19509104
>so is it "rape" rape or the kind of rape women fantasize about
Both. It's rape rape but fappable if you're into it. I got the later half down I'm just trying to make a subtle opening to lead into it

>>19508198
WE DON'T WRITE HERE

FUCK OFF

>>19509157
>hit them like a truck
unless erotic themes are established in the first 12 sentences I'd caution you in doing that. The way you start a story is a kind of promise to the reader of what they should expect to feel even if they don't know what's going to happen.

>>19509189
yeah...

Listening to Debussy and working on some experimental stuff tonight. What about you guys?

>>19509379
Trying to find an ounce of motivation. Don't know how to carry my scene. Trying to do some characterization

>>19509379
Still avoiding the job of condensing a 2,700 word story into a 1,000 word flash

(Didn’t get much input when I posted last, but open to any /crit/ or ideas of what to cut)

>Prompt: A flooded castle, sinking into the mud
https://shortlyai.com/read/4427270/

>>19509379
Listening to Taylor Swift and attempting to rewrite a short story I wrote a decade ago. It's fun.

>>19506421
I just published another 2,500 words in my serial novel.

>>19509379
fapped, coomed a few times, napped by accident, fapped and coomed some more. Hasn't been pretty productive writing-wise.

>>19509629
>TFW you relapse to GDP gifs

>>19509629
Actually just coomed myself desu

>>19509379
>Listening to Debussy
interesting. i usually grab it.

>>19507289
What are some interesting things?

I think experimenting with other styles of prose even though it's uncomfortable and difficult is giving fresh juice to my (perceived) dry writing style.

>>19509379
stop listening to debussy and get some of the pussy

>>19508198
Painfully dull. Creepypasta without the scares. Even in a short story I want a protagonist who wants some change and is working towards it. Your protagonist isn't working towards escape, and we don't know if they want anything else. Know why you want to write the story and then make sure enough of that makes it in that people would want to read it for the same reason. This just seems like an uninspired exercise for reader and writer both.

>>19509379
Listening to video essays on youtube and thinking if I could write the next Infinite Jest by turning The Anvil Hoarder into a book.

It's amazing how I can pump out 2,000 words an hour of high quality text when I know what it is I'm talking about, but struggle to type 500 words in an hour when I reach territory I didn't properly outline or where I'm mildly deficient in.

Oh, also, I'm up to 48 followers on twitter now even after the purge. What is the quickest way to grow from 100 to 1,000 once you get passed the double digits? Is it switching your comments from replies to your own page, or should I stick to piggy backing off of bigger pages primarily?

>>19506462
4 would be interesting if it was happening instead of being a recount because that's boring as fuck Anon.

>>19510579
Are you saying 3rd person is inherently superior to 1st person?

>>19510600
I'm ambivalent about the matter. I usually write in first person but sometimes in third person when I need to explore the depths of the story and characters more than I can from one point of view. In my book "Summer's 78", I tell it from first person because the main character is central to the plot of the story. In my other book "1963" I piece together the story from different points of views from the main characters to form the final draft I suppose you would say. But any true master of his craft wouldn't just be confined to one simplistic set or view for life, he would experiment and test his creativity with each story he told, pushing boundaries and delving into truly uncomfortable themes outside mainstream outlets, shit like that.

>>19510645
Then why did you say the story being told in the 1st person is boring as fuck?

>>19510512
I'm the same way. Experience in matters go a long way and it definitely helps in formulating the story with authenticity

>>19510650
I said nothing derogatory about first person, it's how you set up the story from the get go. Being a recount and knowing that the danger the main character goes through mean little knowing he survives it all is always boring to me. It takes something away from the story I can't properly articulate and i've seen it so much it's a cliche.

>>19510542
>What is the quickest way to grow from 100 to 1,000
Follow 4-5000 random people. Around 1/5 should follow you back.

>>19510664
I see, so this is 100% a you problem.

>>19510650
Don't listen to the other guy, it sounds boring as fuck no matter how it's told

>>19510818
Now this is more like it.

what do you do if your own style, one that you've crafted over years of reading, writing, editing, self-understanding and -analysis, is still barely able to be published?

like i like using complicated imagery and words. it's all this tightly woven puzzle that i'm creating that all have some emotional core to it. and I like utilizing the words and syntaxes of different languages. i like making up my own words that have a basis in reality and work in context but aren't technically "real" but idk because language is whatever i make it. god i love writing it, but most litmag editors just don't seem to be interested.

>>19508198
What program is this?

>>19511063
It's a pretty ballsy move to call bad writing "my style"

>>19511123
kek

Can someone critique my JRPG game plot?

>>19511318

>>19511320

>>19511318
>>19511320
>>19511326
Genuinely embarrassing. You posting this for the second time has me sure that this is the work of some discord friend you despise.

>>19511348
Is it really that bad? For example, what do you think of the planet blocking out the sun from another planet as a plot device? The dragon moved the planet in front of it because they were committing sins. And now they are deprived of sunlight, so they are mad.

I'm not from discord. If you're the reddit guy from yesterday, I apologize so give me critique please?

>>19510324
good points, thanks. I admit that I didn't really have an overall plan for it, it just seemed like an interesting story in my head. I may revisit it sometime after more thought.
>>19511102
libreoffice, tools>options>application colors

>>19511362
Like I said yesterday, this is just rule of cool garbage. I had only skimmed it over then, just long enough to see you describing the types of guns each person uses as if that is in any way important, but giving it a full read now I can say it’s worse than that.
You can come up with all the insane premises you want but if you can’t craft a story worth reading or a character worth engaging with than you’ve already failed.
>MC1
You gave no explanation of what his duty was, why he forgot his duty or why he remembered it. I doubt very much that you’ve given any thought to all 3 of those.
>MC2
Immediately I see Garden of Eden and I cringed so hard my bed frame rocked. Biblical references, especially ones that are so disconnected from actual reference, are so tired and overused in Jrpg stories that it feels like almost a requirement for bad writers at this point.
Next we have a selfish royal who is imprisoned for killing a man. I’m not going to go into why it doesn’t make sense for a royal family to throw away a firstborn son over something so small but whatever, it happened, sure.
My main issue with it is you are not focusing on any character trait of him other than being jealous. Why does the main character care about him? Because he has McGuffin blood? Because he has a shotgun?
So far I don’t know what the MC wants other than a McGuffin to access a room. I know more about the gun that he carries than what he wants.
>Tyrans and Kuda
One planet being used as a punishment to another is a fine setup itself but it goes back to what I said. You have a premise and fail at everything else.
All you’ve done if set up a “Brown nature lover good, white person who not love nature bad, white unreasonable and evil” story. The fact that you list your theme as “What is war?” is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time but it also shows you have made no efforts towards building actual themes.
>Rouge
More rule of cool. I know nothing about her other than her weapons. Seems to be just a tool to establish the whites as rapists as well.
>MC and Android
Trite trash. Android who wants to be like a human. Needs a soul. All you’ve done is made the Tinman into a waifu. The fact that this is resolved with a wish is all the more funny.

I can go on and on about this but I won’t. The fairy queen section is actually the most embarrassing part but I’m not going to tell you why. You need to find that out by yourself. 90% of writing isn’t being creative, it’s being able to parse out your own terrible ideas. This is a skill you clearly don’t have yet.

>>19511318
Literally watch the terrible writing advice channel. If you don't get what's bad about this I don't think we can help. It's dungeons and dragons tier. Nobody reads Harry Potter (easy example) for the magic and beasts

>>19511490
Thanks I'll incorporate your advice and post an update next week. I have work starting in 2 days and I'll be busy.

>>19511524
Ok I'll check it out

>>19506421
It's my first time here because today I started to write, almost two thousand words (in spanish) in less than three hours.

Writing in English as a second language.
Two stories.

>2015
https://pastebin.com/Cq5AxbiX

>2021
https://pastebin.com/kzQUv9d5

I should have stayed writing consistently during the years. I'm still not at the level I'd like to be, but when I writing something that sucks ass I'm likely to stop writing for months. Because of this, I write only a handful of stories each year, most left unfinished.

>>19511537
This isn’t the type of thing you fix up in 4 days of casual writing. You are the issue, not this story.
Read more, play better JRPGs. Learn why they work and your writing does not.

Writing in English as a second language.
Two stories.

>2015
https://pastebin.com/Cq5AxbiX

>2021
https://pastebin.com/kzQUv9d5

I wish I had stayed writing consistently during the years. I'm still not at the level I'd like to be, but when I write something I don't like, I'm likely to stop writing for months. Because of this, I write only a handful of stories each year, most left unfinished.

>>19511568
That's true but a little harsh. Everybody can improve.

>wrote a short story on space, again

It had been a while since I last heard from earth. The radar stopped picking the signal once
my cabin fell from space into the black puddle, as they call it and despite what folks back
home said about it, I feel pretty good, if only the smell of iron lingering in the nostrils. While
the thought of bleeding in outer space terrified me, thinking about sharing my rather small
living space with floating red bubbles, I was astonished to see that once I set foot out the
cabin, I was surrounded by nothing but white sand and the vastness of the ocean. A rather
slim strip of land connecting both horizons and my cabin sitting in the midst of it. I for once
didn’t notice any fall, nor gravity, once I was inside. After opening the lid, I noticed that there
was gravity inside the cabin. It hit me, quite literally, since I had hidden my tools in an open
casket just above the head and they fell right on my suit, breaking the glass. As I expected
my face being sucked out of my suit, I was surprised to smell the ever faint salt in the air and
hear the cry of seagulls in the distance. Here I was, missing to all, but still alive.
So I started looking around, first and foremost looking for geography. If I had landed in a new
Terran planet I had to pinpoint where I was, so that I could maybe turn back and deliver the
news. But how could I turn back? It was nothing short of impossible, without thrusters. I had
simply fallen out of gravity, out of my universe and now I was somewhere else. No signs of
civilization, no signs of life outside the seagulls’ cries, but no bird in sight.
Small flowers on the sand. I noticed on the third day that I was severely underestimating my
chance of survival. I had food for maybe just another week, if counting days was easy.
Shining upon my head were the twin stars, waltzing slowly but surely through the azure
painted sky. If I had to die, it was probably for the best if I tried to resist as long as possible.
What do you know, maybe time does indeed work differently here, inside the black puddle?
Maybe I don’t even need to drink, eat or rest, even though I feel tired. I understand I am
outside the range of fundamental laws of physics and what I can do is entirely dependent on
the rules offered by this world. This is either God’s cruelest joke or funniest one, leaving me
stranded and puzzled at the same time, giving me hope yet keeping me out of sight from it.
This was my dream, once I conjured something similar, when I was a kid. I was walking
alongside a stream of flowers blooming on spring's eve and I was blown away by its beauty. I
must’ve thought: “If I had to die, I would be withering along the stream of flowers.”. So it
seems, so shall it be. I lay on the sand, hearing the seagulls cry for the last hours of my life.
All that is left is to accept the end of my story.

>>19511537
>Thanks I'll incorporate your advice and post an update next week.
Pls don’t

Idk how you stumbled across /lit/, but this just isn’t the target audience you want. I think /vg/ or /tg/ can tell you much more about character progression and plot elements that appeal to JRPG players.

It’s like asking a bunch of classical music pseuds to critique the dubstep intro to your youtube channel.

Shit, if /lit/ made a JRPG it would be something between Dante’s Inferno, Blood Meridian, and Fight Club. A depressing, unwinnable (perhaps unplayable), psychological thriller where all the enemies are aspects of your own phyche and every dialogue is some hours-long epistemological debate. If it gets played over 100 times, the creators will consider it a failure. Is that the sort of game you’re looking to make?

Best of luck, anon, but I’m afraid your princess is in another castle…

'The ring of the preacher's bell was hardly a respite from the stench of rot. Only the road leading towards the gate was cleared of the dead, an entire army smashed against the mighty walls of the city Esh, at least six times as tall as man. The Tyrants of the city leaving the mass of corpses outside the walls as a warning to all who would dare oppose them. Behind the walls held the greatest settlement of the region, the tower central in the city strutted out the ground as a great tree over a canyon path. Seven districts of the city are all administered and lorded over by the tower.

The procession of pilgrims came barefoot towards the gate with a soft hymn in the air, Privis with his hands sliding up and down his face masked his attempt to lessen the smell with a prayer. The preacher at the head of the procession would shout a line and in response a hymn would be received from the pilgrims. He kept his head bare and shaved as penance for an unknown sin while his neck blistered from the oppressive sun of the canyon. The white robe of the pilgrim was worn by all but it would not be by choice that one would forgo something beneath it. Underneath the weathered preacher's robe, mail could be glimpsed reflecting under the sun's rays and a belt with a sword hanging from his left kept the robe fastened rightly. Slung over his shoulder a rifle of bulky design. Not like the common rifle, slow to load and hard to aim. To hear the weapon is like thunder as it looses a hail of bullets, more than one bandit learnt the hard way.

Above the gate an iron skewer, impaled with a man covered with jewels and gold ornaments decorated the entrance to the Tyrant’s city. His arms covered in bands and from his neck to the top of his head rings of silver and gold create a macabre piece of art. The man became a Bloody Banner of Esh, an enemy commander made to fly along with the banners of a Tyrant after a victory. The addition to the wall did not help Privis’ nerves entering the only city he had seen before. '

Please r8 my writing. This is really the first story stuff I've written since school. The view the reader is supposed to get that, the city is cruel, desperate and puts on a 'strong face' as it knows it's on the point of destruction

>>19511662
>/vg/ or /tg/
Hey, they don’t deserve this shit either.

>>19511569
First one is eerie, I think it could use some work because in the second story you really show how to build excitement and horror. I adore the second short you wrote, you should do more.

>>19511662
I want to make a game that appeals to every board on 4chan. I want to make a legendary game that people will talk about for centuries to come.

>>19511684
Looking more and more like a weak troll by the second.

>>19511693
What makes you say that?
Did you even read my game plot?

>>19511696
Nevermind, don't bother answering. I have to sleep and don't have time to deal with shitposters, I have work starting in two days.

>>19507965
I'm looking into freelance writing still, but after reading into the IAPWE thing it seems like they're either a scam or highly unreliable

I always regretting telling these people what they’re doing wrong. A massive ego and complete incompetence are the keystones to cringe kino.

>>19511318
>this again
Fuck off /v/igger

Wrote this poem after a dream I had about living through some severe economic depression. I woke up in the middle of the night and got a pencil out. It may be bad but I feel better sharing it anyway
Lost in the wind of time
These dreams of mine
Surely will give you a sign
Of the coming times where
Your dreams resign to shoes
On your feet and a heartbeat.

>>19511684
Well here’s a topic that /wg/ can help with. You can either make something artistically great, or something with broad appeal…but never both.

Also, don’t expect to make your first thing great. Practice on smaller projects and get better before getting tangled in making some sprawling mess.

>>19511524
>Nobody reads Harry Potter (easy example) for the magic and beasts
Wait what? They don't?
I thought one of the main charms of harry potter was the magic and lore.
Hell, there is a book ABOUT the magical beasts of harry potter!

>>19511804
>You can either make something artistically great, or something with broad appeal…but never both.
You must be trolling.

Many of the great classics were best-sellers at the time.

All my ideas are bad, and I have no other good qualities. Lack of talent cannot be overcome.
I understand. I understand, but I still like doing it.
I just really, really love sniffing girls on the bus. It's not something I'm proud of. Well, maybe a little. I haven't gotten caught yet. That takes skill. It takes developing technique and changing patterns. It's like being a serial killer, only your victims never know they've been victimized. If they did, you'd have lost the game.
The first thing you learn is that people in a crowded bus don't really look around. Their peripheral vision just kind of shuts down and they bow down over their phones. Didn't use to be like that, when I was a kid. But this is a good thing. It means their eyes are never on you. When you get bolder you might sniff a girl even with someone sitting next to you.
It's important to learn the rhythm of the bus, the flow of how the vehicle moves. Dip left, dip right. Lean back during acceleration, lean forward during deceleration. Be like water in a can being moved: even when your vessel stops, you still have a little momentum. This momentum will bring your nose near her head, allowing you to get that whiff and still have plausible deniability.
Blondes are the least interesting. Redheads are the best.

>>19511889
We could have a book-length debate about why people read Harry Potter. If anyone knew exactly why they'd just repackage it and sell it again and be billionaires. My personal opinion:
>population cleanly divided into many large groups (wizard/not, rich/poor, houses, etc.)
>protagonist who is taken between those groups by the plot
>sympathyless antagonists in opposing groups introduce life-or-death stakes
>exhaustingly whimsical writing
Those are the elements I think are important. In that view, the magic/beasts is mostly important for the last element, just to make sure that something whimsical/witty can always happen. Every other line was some kind of a joke or some unexpected and funny dynamic of the setting showing itself. The fact that there was magic only served to make those lines possible.

>>19511906
>Many of the great classics were best-sellers at the time.
>at the time
Exactly.
But in modern days these classics would flop for the latest shitty self-insert fantasy like twilight.
The Brothers Karamazov would sell poorly if published today compared with the hunger games.

I agree with the other anon sadly, the average modern reader wants something dumbed down and easy to digest.

>>19506462
Still, remember the sheep pic. Supported you on idea 1 last time, still think it's the best of the bunch. I feel like it's somehow personal like you have a well of experiences to draw from. The other three sound way harder and not necessarily more interesting. Do 1, and post results.
>>19506488
>1.Nobody cares about your doomer thoughts
If you make his memories thoughtful and charming you can circumvent the pessimism. Ignore this guy
>>19506483
>I don't really see much of a climax here unless she stops him and falls in love with him.
>>19506644
>A reversal is unnecessary. It could just be a book about fate with good prose.
What this anon says. Fuck a climax. Stories don't always need a satisfying Hollywood ending.

Question?
Have you ever visited a prostitute, maybe you should do some field research. Pick the car you're going to drive in, what would your charecter wear, what does his life look like, how does he live, how does the prostitute look like, what kind of landscape does he live in, etc.

Gl anon

>>19512179
>Have you ever visited a prostitute, maybe you should do some field research. Pick the car you're going to drive in, what would your charecter wear, what does his life look like, how does he live, how does the prostitute look like, what kind of landscape does he live in, etc.
cop

>>19512179
The car is a Honda Civic. The man is wearing a hat with the Charlotte Hornets logo on it. The hat has white salt lines on it from his sweat. This detail disgusts the prostitute. Those ideas came to me while at work and I wrote them on my work computer.

>>19512201
Good! Ill be lurking
>>19512184
I live in the Netherlands, so no.

How do you clear your mind to write /wg/? How do you prevent yourself from injecting what you're reading in what you're writing?

>>19512554
>clear your mind
Environmental dissociation. Where I write is different from where I beat off or watch TV shows. I also put my phone face down out of reach.
>prevention of injection
This is just gonna happen and I know it fades with time. I let it happen, then come back to it and edit it into the main sound of my usual prose. Same with ideas. Plagiarism is flattery in literature. Borrow ideas and mold them to your own purposes.

>>19506415
Just wrote my third flash fiction piece. Going to send them to lit magazines and see if I have any takers. Wish me luck guys.
Thanks to /ffa/ for training me.

>>19512005
he opined, calmly

>>19512781
Telling (with adverbs) is better than showing 90% of the time in YA fiction. It's an obnoxious style to read if you can look at it objectively, but it's not for people who can.

>>19512797
he dictated, regretfully

>>19511741
this, imagine if someone took the author of tails gets trolled aside and explained exactly what he was doing wrong to write a competent story. we would have been robbed of such legendary lines as "they can't troll you if there dead" and "ok everyone you see this paper? well there's nothing on it yet but there will be"

>>19512821
>filtered by tails gets trolled
You laugh with it. If you're laughing at it, you got trolled.

>>19512821
Tails got Trolled doesn't really fall into that. Think more like Hunt Down the Freeman or anything by Vitaliy Versace Or Waldun.

>>19512835
bro, lazerbot is an unironic chris chan tier autist. there's nothing avant garde or self aware about it. it's simply amazing outsider art by a completely bizarre person, just like sonichu.

GOnna write for 25 minutes straight now

>>19512580
That’s great, anon…good luck! Which were yours in/ffa/?

>>19506462
All of these are pretty cool, 4 is kinda meh doe

1 reminds me of a story i wrote where a guy fucks a male hooker then on the bus ride home gets transported to a hell dimension for a bit

>>19512890
i did it. now gonna keep on going.

dubs check em

>>19511063
Dude just be you. None of these /lit/ pseuds want you to succeed so you just have to develop your own style and make sure it tells a story. That's it. Shit, so many books I've read aren't well written but the stories are good. Some of my favourite books are predictable schlock but entertaining nonetheless.

>>19512886
>chris chan tier autist
I don't know if I can see chris chan giving a response like this

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WRITE DIALOGUE

>>19513149
What's the problem bro? I'll tell you if you redpill me on non cringe prose

>>19513149
Tell me 3 stories that you personally felt had great dialogue

>>19513156
Shit out of luck pal i can't write good prose either

That's why my stories are presented as schizoid ramblings

>>19513169
Absolutely nothing comes to mind, i have never paid any attention to dialogue

>>19507196
kek

>>19513194
Alright here's my tldr on dialogue
>Go to a public place and listen; people mostly don't talk in full sentences, but occasionally they do
>Read an expatriate book or two (Hemingway, Joyce, etc.)
>Dialogue is an exchange of ideas, not a question and answer session
>Each character has a voice (word choice, sentence length). It doesn't have to be glaringly unique, but a common soldier wouldn't say "predilection"
>Said > any other descriptor except when said descriptor perfectly captures the tone of voice you're trying to communicate. You always seem to notice "said" more when you're writing, but not when you're reading
>Dialogue tags are useful but abuseable since body language and actions are also dialogue. Good place to use them is after 3-5 sections of "talking heads" (where there's only quote boxes)
>People get interrupted all the time. It's not usually 8 lines of a monologue followed by 8 lines of a response
>Skip the "Hey how are you, what's up, how's the kids?" and get right to "Johnny got shot again"
>What people don't say or stop themselves from saying is also dialogue
>People don't always say what they mean. If I don't want you to wear that red dress because it makes you look like a hooker, I might say "You're not going out in that, are you?"
I'm sure there's more this is all I can think of now. I'll link some helpful articles next.

>>19513071
of course he would say it was all intentional. admitting to being a typical devian-tartlet is much more embarrassing than claiming to be in on the joke. chris would never say his drawing is fucking awful and his self insert is horrid either, because he is just as autistic as lazerbot

>>19513316
>People get interrupted all the time. It's not usually 8 lines of a monologue followed by 8 lines of a response
You thinking that this needs to be incorporated into writing for dialogue to be good is a good indicator that you shouldn't be giving advice on anything to do with writing

>>19513149
>>19513316
Follow up

General dialogue tips
>https://www.standoutbooks.com/6-insanely-good-dialogue-tips-from-your-future-literary-agent/
Orwell's Politics and the English Language, good for cleaning up writing in general as well as dialogue
>http://www.resort.com/~prime8/Orwell/patee.html
Hemingway editor. Does amazing work for dialogue especially, I've found
>https://hemingwayapp.com/

>>19513169
Game of Thrones seasons 1 and 2

>>19513360
It is good advice.

>>19513149
There's actually a lot to learn from film when it comes to dialogue
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XATONsyKml0&t=540s

>>19513156
>>19513194
I'll also link all you anons some book pdfs I got from my writing class. They contain tips on prose, dialogue, and much more. Here's an excerpt from Zen in the Art of Writing.

What sorts of ideas did Clayton come up with?
Just day-to-day sitting and saying, "Instead of these six lines of dialogue, can't you find a way of saying it with two?" He chal- lenged me to go find a shorter way to say it; so I found it; so it was the indirect suggestion and the knowledge that he was backing me psychologically that was important.
Would you be cutting dialogue or action?
Everything. The main thing is compression. It really isn't cutting so much as learning metaphor—and this is where my knowledge of poetry has been such a help to me. There's a relationship between the great poems of the world and the great screenplays: they both deal in compact images. If you can find the right metaphor, the right image, and put it in a scene, it can replace four pages of dialogue.

Link: https://pastebin.com/5FQcf3Vj

>>19513360
The guy's trying to help, shut up you pseud. The fact that you can't interpret and apply his suggestion according to your writing style of choice is a testament to your immense retardation.

>>19513402
No

>>19513464
When people say they "have trouble with dialogue" I want to smack them across their stupid fucking lips for thinking they have good prose but I can't do that over the internet. I can at least call bad advice bad though

>>19509493
Self-published? Nice either way.

>>19506462
I like the 3rd one. I'm stealing it and publishing first.

>>19513316
This is a recipe for creating unreadable garbage honestly.
>"So I was out tryin'a get my dick sucked."
>"Did ya?"
>"Wha-"
>"Bro we're in publ-"
>"Shut up fag, and yeah I did. This hot bitch named Crystal-"
>"Crystal on 44th?"
>"Aw sheit naw, you didn't."
>"Yeah he did."
>"The fuck you faggots talkin' about?"
>"Crystal's a tranny bro, she's pack-"
>"He's got a cock bigger than yours taped up against his asshole."
>"You got your dick sucked by a dude, man."
>"No fuckin' way"
etc. Can you tell me how many people I envisioned for this conversation? Would you want to read this fucking garbage in a book? It's basically just wasted space when you could have gone
>"So I was out tryin'a get my dick sucked."
>"Did you?"
>"Yeah man, there's this chick named Crystal on 44th, hot as hell."
>Several people started laughing, and anon's friend looked at him with concern.
>"Crystal's a dude, anon."
>Anon stared at his friend, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. His stomach sank as he realized that his friend was probably telling the truth.
>"No way."
>"Chris, rather Crystal, probably has a dick bigger than yours from what I've heard."
>"But-" anon sputtered
>"You got your dick sucked by a dude, man."

>>19513599
Alright I'm going to be honest with you, while I agree the advice is terrible, the first example sounds more like American Psycho and the second example sounds more like some dogshit on royalroad, so you're not exactly doing the argument any favors

>>19513631
Yeah and which stuff gets more readers these days? American psycho is also supposed to be chaotic and hard to follow because Bateman is a nutcase. If you're trying to make something readable for an average audience, the bottom is what you want.

is it interesting to insert phrases in non-english characters (letters) for dialogue of non-english characters (people)? should I just stick to making phonetic facsimiles (e.g. "ne ga" instead of 那个)?

would it make it more/less acceptable if the usage was for an unnamed background character versus a character who sticks around through the whole novel?

>>19513643
Nigger you are arguing that you should purposefully write bad dialogue to get more readers. Shut the fuck up.

>>19513643
This is a completely backwards view of publishing success and if you hold it you need to read until you don't before you start trying to write. What sells is wit, what American Psycho (and the first example, to a greater extent than the second) has is wit. American Psycho is still more successful than anything written like the second is or will be, even though it was written to drive people off, including scenes with an acid-dipped rat eating through a woman's vagina, because they could take the wit out of the chaos and made a movie out of it. The second example is absolutely not what you want because any wit present is bogged down by ineffective breaks. It doesn't sell and you can find a million stories and books written like that if you search for things with no reviews

Anyways naturalist dialogue doesn't necessarily make a work any less shit but it doesn't automatically elevate it and isn't what you should be concerned about when trying to figure out why you don't like your own dialogue so we agree on that point

>>19513676
Phonetics are better
You're writing for an audience that can't verbalize the other characters in their inner voice and will have to pause their reading there and continue on the other side of it

I have an important question, divided in 2 posts.

1/2

Look at this shit.
If you are not an anime/manga fan that's ok, i'll explain: All these are manga and they all have the same stupid plot.
>Loser dies in modern world
>Some deity reincarnates the loser in a fantasy world.
>Loser has an ability that breaks the rules of common sense and works as a deus-ex-machina so he always wins in any situation.
>Loser suddenly has an harem of girls that fall in love with him even if he has no redeemable quality other than his god-like cheating ability.

They all even have the same "cheat" in the title and don't try to be original.

The question is: How the fuck is this not considered plagiarism? Most of these even take place during the same period, the middle ages!

They are all copying a successful story (sword art online i think?) involving a edgy MC that creates an harem with his cheating abilities.

What IS plagiarism?
How is plagiarism defined?
When does "inspired by x work" becomes stealing it?

Continuing on the next post.

2/2

Look at this image.
This is an image from the videogame "final fantasy vii".
If you haven't played it the story is basically about a world where crystals possess a diverse amount of magic/knowledge inside them and are used as a energy source. The protagonist fights to stop this because the crystals are actually the lifeforce of the planet, so overusing it will literally destroy the world.

If i were to write a story about a world where crystals possess a diverse amount of magic/knowledge inside them but the protagonist fights to stop this because the crystals are dangerous and could destroy the world...is it plagiarism?

Just an hypothetical question to discuss what constitutes plagiarism and what doesn't.

>>19513316
>>19513383
This is all pretty good im gonna use it thanks

Think one of my biggest problems is that im writing in a language that isn't my own, that's why its harder to pick up all the nuances and stuff

Fake it till you make it

>>19513757
>How the fuck is this not considered plagiarism?
Look at the flags

>>19513767
Go back

>>19513694
I fundamentally disagree with your point about marketability because the market for literature has changed so drastically in the past 10 years (hell, the past 20 years) that what you're saying sounds like the equivalent of "Give the manager a strong handshake and look him in the eye". Average literacy has gone down significantly, and the average reader these days reads web fiction designed to be skimmed at high speeds or books written at an 8th grade level. If you released American Psycho today, even discounting the social environment which would instantly cancel it, it would not be successful because the average reader would simply not be able to process it without significant mental effort. The only reason there aren't millions of stories with naturalist dialogue that also have no reviews and don't sell is because the average writer is also kind of retarded and doesn't want to invest the effort or doesn't know how to.
In short, you are writing for retards if you write to be published today. You need to simplify. Marketability depends on comprehensibility to the average, appeal to modern social trends, and a glimmer of originality.

>>19513805
>10 years
>Average literacy has gone down significantly
lol
>the average reader these days reads web fiction
lol

Get off the fucking internet, neither of these things are true just because print sales are down. And, if you think of things that way, you should be writing screenplays anyways. Trying to write books to sell to the masses is like trying to fuck a blender because nobody told you you could use your hand.

>>19513872
>he thinks literacy hasn't gone down
>he thinks people aren't reading trash
>didn't even finish the second sentence
I wish I lived in your pseud fantasy world.

>>19513599
apply to be JK rowling's ghost writer. you mimic her writing style and tranny hatred perfectly
anyway, the main problem is that you made it purposely vague by not detailing ANY characters at all. it could literally be a dude having schizo conversations with the voices in his head. it's basically how you write a screenplay, just add character names before each line and some directorial adverbs. you don't have to completely coat yourself in onions to write:
>"So I was out tryin'a get my dick sucked," I said.
>"Did ya?" Mark said.
>"Wha-" Fred said.
>"Bro we're in publ-" Mark said.
>"Shut up fag, and yeah I did. This hot bitch named Crystal-" I continued, before being interrupted.
>"Crystal on 44th?" Mark said.

>>19513565
Smack my lips with your cock daddy UwU

>>19513149
You're not transcribing real conversations between real people, you're creating art using your hands and brain. Think of how your characters interact, how their different traits play off of one another. Now think of how to deliver that as smoothly as possible to the reader. Literally just render the fucking owl.
>>19513316
>Dialogue is an exchange of ideas, not a question and answer session
>Each character has a voice (word choice, sentence length). It doesn't have to be glaringly unique, but a common soldier wouldn't say "predilection"
>What people don't say or stop themselves from saying is also dialogue
All extremely important because again, you are writing exchanges between characters, not real people. I believe the idea that realism = good is a fallacy that many still fall victim to. If I wanted reality then I would put down the story and go talk to real people. But that's just me. Some autistic people might want their media to be as realistic as possible, but they are wrong and should feel bad.

>>19506415
Is it possible to write a murder mystery killing game without it feeling like Danganronpa fanfiction? I've been working on a murder mystery/deadly game with a focus on cerebral mind bendy fight scenes, overly convoluted murders, tragic deaths, and a new cast/setting completely disconnected from canon Danganronpa. But the killing game itself is way too similar to the killing game in Danganronpa. With the class trials and voting out one of your friends to be executed and what not

I'm preparing to write an autobiography. So far I've listed each year of my life and made bullets of anything eventful under various categories (work, romance, travel etc) and have noted a few highlights I intend to focus on.

I guess I'm just wondering if you guys had any advice/experience on the actual writing stage of an autobiography please?

Messin aroond

A limp, that’s what you want to avoid. My old man said that, in his own way. He’d pop his head in when I was gearing up to go out, ask where I was going, with whom and on what premises. I’d tell him something, "up James for a smoke" or "popping by the pub for a pint" or "walk with Marique". It could be true, what I said, could be a lie. But the answer he gave was always the same. He’d grab his forearm, hoist it up and dangle a limp wrist, laugh heartily, stumble back to his room, playfully mad when barking "don’t wake me when you come home you little shit". Sometimes I did wake him, sometimes I didn’t. Sometimes I didn’t come home, or I’d come home just as he got up, morning wood smiling at God, the man himself timid, hungover, depleted of yesternights’ vigour. We’d have the best conversations on those mornings, when I’d put off visiting the dreamland, blitzed or coming down or just going full sleepless. I’d humour him in the kitchen as he fed the cats, made breakfast, or wobble into my room and close the door, and he’d barge in with a cup of tea, milk and sugar, always the same proportions, never off beat, military proper, same brew for seven years. I think about these things a lot lately. Guess it can’t be helped.

>>19513943
Is it weird that im going out of my way to make my story as uncomfortable as possible?

I want the reader to feel like im dunking his head in a toilet

>>19513967

Don't stick to the actual facts too hard. I've seen lots of people get so zoned in on making it credible or matter of factual that they lose sight of the dramaturgical perspective. Dare to be creative.

>>19513757
Name the last story you read that was completely 100% original. I'll wait.
The reality is almost everything has been done already, and masters who can craft truly unique stories are rare. In the case of anime shit, I believe tracing and the 1:1 copying of dialogue are more egregious than simply copying a premise. Ideas are not proprietary, no matter what kikes who draft """""""intellectual property""""""" legislation tell you (at least not until daddy elon and uncle bill create brain chips that disallow thinking of things that are copyrighted). Even if you copied the premise and plot for FF7, you would still have to create artwork, models, a game engine, mechanics, optimizations, and a hundred other things that transform it as your own work, and which the original creators would be foolish to take umbrage with.

>>19513986
If you're trying to be weird, that would seem to be the point.

Just a reminder that I made $70 in like 2 hours selling books outside my local grocery store. Oh, and someone bought me a Faxe beer from the store, that was nice.

The books I make myself cost about $1 in materials.

Going out and holding a sign is a great way to meet people. In the last two days I've probably talked to like 30+ people and sold like 6 books or so, I will travel around more soon and setup my roving booksale in a busier location. Probably tomorrow I will try and sell the rest of the books I have in stock as I wait for my inkowl shipment of toner cartridge end caps. I hate that about inkowl, if you order a fucking toner refill they should include the end caps, having to order them separately is pretty lame when they are $1 each! Can't refill my toner without a fresh supply of caps. Will show you guys the method step-by-step once I've figured out how to keep my internet on after December 11th because I owe $190 on my internet bill and I'm broke as fuck!

>>19514022
I write it all in fragments you know, depending on my mood

Its a text version of a corrupted hard drive or a scratched CD, but there's a plotline

I just cannot totally nail the uncomfortable feeling im striving for, it would be way easier to do it as a movie or a TV show

>>19513986
Plenty of people have done that. Bukowski, De Sade, transgressivism in general

>>19514039
Don't forget the Greasy Strangler

>>19514014
And by the way, plagiarism and copyright infringement are distinct concepts, and not at all alike. Plagiarism itself has no place in law, it is merely moralfagging by seething incels. It will get you fired from your hoity toity position at the university or faggy journo job, but it's really nothing to be worried about in the context of consumer media production. Faggots on reddit might seethe if you copy a game or a web novel, but that doesn't matter, first of all because it just doesn't, but especially if your shit is more successful/popular/better anyway.

Any cliches to avoid when writing a warrior culture like the Fremen or Scylvendi.

>>19514193
Make them suck at warfare + be extremely cruel

>>19513767
>>19513757
At the end of the day there are no original ideas and plagiarism is just an accusation. It's all subjective and many obvious plagiarists are never called out for it, many even take advantage of it to tell a better story.

For a good example lets look at music. The Avalanches most famous album stole well over 3500 different samples in its creation. That comes down to about 1 well documented and verified plagiarism each second and yet you never hear any serious accusations over this. In fact, the author Nick Hornby even commented on the situation saying
>The Avalanches use so many samples to create something so indisputably their own that to accuse them of plagiarism is pointless
>You may as well make the same case against a writer whose books contain words that other writers have used before.
Lets extrapolate this to stories. Blacksouls is a game that has gained a huge fanbase on /v/ and /vg/ this last year and is so referential that all of its thefts loops back to telling a wholly original story.
This is a porn parody that takes practically every single element of gameplay from the Souls series and places you in a world where you meet every single character from Alice in Wonderland and over 200 characters from the works of Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm, Aesop, André de Lorde and William Hope Hodgson. It even uses the writers themselves as characters in the story.
What should be derivative is actually made unique again by just by how far it goes with it and the world that creates. When you hear a near complete retelling of The Little Match Girl you don't consider it theft despite how derivative it is because you are invested in this rendition of the matchstick girl.

It would be so easy for me to just tell you that you could include Cloud while still having him team up with his entire crew before beating back Jenova while still telling an original story but I think those extremes I pointed out highlight that a bit better.

>>19507322
Today, I feel like carp; a fishy fish in a dirty stream. I feel as though I am swimming against a current which will never cease… and so it does. If only I could let myself get carried downstream, but all I want is above me upstream!
Or so I, the carp, think. In reality, I know not what is both downstream and upstream, and so the consequences of letting myself go are unknown. Why fight the never-ending current when I could just let it carry me?

>>19508198
The other guy who said this was dull is an absolute idiot. These sentences are short and crisp, and you have some wonderfully interesting details in here. I read the whole thing and I would read more. This is the beginning of an interesting novella. You have a good style. Genuinely very good, the best I have seen in /wg/, easily.

>>19514334
The other guy started ranting about character progression after reading one page lol

People plan and think about these things too much instead of just writing

>>19514364
>>19514334
I got bored reading it, what can I say. If your standards are lower, more power to you.

>>19514383
Show your writing then

>>19513757
Oh man, if you think genres are plagiarism, wait until you find out about story structure.

>>19510324
>>19514334
How do I manage to incorporate this duality of man into my own writing?

>>19514334
Agree 100%

>>19510324
This is fucking insane. You are not even a writer. You call for "character progression" on fucking page 1? Are you retarded? Get the fuck out of /wg/ you absolute pseud.

>>19514364
>>19508198
I want to know more about the universe. What type of civilization is it

>>19514577
I didn't plan anything and >>19514364 isn't me. I just thought a story about a gladiator who writes when he's not fighting or training would be interesting. I may drop it or proceed further.

>>19514615
Makes sense, so it is Roman then? Could always go Gladiator route and make him a fallen noble from a conquered civilization but thats just my idea

>>19514630
I do not know.

I'm writing a book about a guy that spends too much time on 4chan

>>19514193
1. Noble Savage meme
2. Inferior technology, but a deeper respect for ‘the land’ which the superior enemy ignores (think Avatar, Sandworms)
3. Some obscure honor/bushido laws that differ from the MCs experience

Hope you can find something new, anon.

>>19514690
Its an Alien spieces of Scorpion men who evolved on a harsh jungle world. They believe natural selection is divine intervention so they don't mourn those who die in their never ending hunt. They are like 10 feet tall, have Chitin armor, are great tactician, and don't need to sleep. In case your curious.

>>19514724
Sounds pretty cool.

Once upon a time, in a lonely island; whereforth there shall be. Shall be han't timely day be.
Where shallforth one's duty; though may be, one's tenacity.

>>19514537
>post a story with a beginning and an end
Doesn't matter how short it is, it's still a story. If you don't understand this, you aren't a writer. Also, I've finished a novel and you haven't.

Passed 45,000 words in my novel! Let's go boys!

>>19514789
top pseud. people come to this place for fucking around and not serious offers to publishing houses. if you don't understand this, you aren't a critic.

>>19514475
"Loser reincarnates with a cheat ability and gets an harem" is not a genre, just shitty tropes.
Isekai can exist without these tropes.

>>19514845
What exactly is your point

>>19514724
Okay, so if you’re worried about cliches, look more to Starship Troopers, Ender’s Game, and Children of Time…

>>19514864
Haven't heard of Children of Time, thanks. The ideas in the book are based around darwinism and panthiesm as well. I've read Origin of Species and Ethics by Spinoza.

>>19514690
>Oh ho ho, you believe yourselves superior to us? That you have some right to "capture" us just because we "trespassed" on your "property" to "steal" your "children?" Do you not see? Gaia is a slave who was captured by the First Warrior of our tribe, and all who are outside the tribe are nothing but the slaves of our slave. You bleed the earth dry in your thirst for oil profits, but you will never master the sacred craft of fracking!

>>19514921
Adrian Tchaikovsky Is great at “hard sci-fi” (and a zoologist by training) he does a great job of creating a scenario of truly divergent evolution, and what would happen of equally advanced but completely different species met. Book 1 is based on a planet of evolved spider/insect cultures, Book 2 are octopii.

>>19515054
Nice, I definitely want to check it out after reading the wiki. I thought of writing an alternative earth history where the eastern half was dominated by squid men due to the continents splitting differently but had no reason for it. Children of light is up my alley essentially lol

>>19513889
I did avoid the tags mainly because the guy I replied to said to avoid them and technically the scene is legible without them, just confusing. You're right though, it could be cleaned up a bit to make it more clear but I have a feeling that doing so would defeat the purpose for the anon who made the original point. I probably could have made a better example if I had taken more than 5 minutes to do so.
>apply to be JK rowling's ghost writer. you mimic her writing style and tranny hatred perfectly
Considering that Harry Potter-tier was exactly where I was aiming I take this as a compliment.

I am wanting to write a poetic story of a journey that a man goes through that changes his outlook on life; changing from a life rejecting to a life affirming mindset. I think I have a good idea of the start and the next part will be the narrator going to sleep, which is to set up the rest of the story, which would be set in a dream.
What pernicious haunts with fly upon my thoughts.
Of what day ought to brough, perhaps a walk would sequester this draught.
But the open door foretold, with a whisper in the wind
That shakes the soul and shivers the bones
That tonight’s not right; and the full moons beams bring
a gnostic fright, nothing holy in sight!

But away with this plight! I return to this delight,
And delight it must be, this melancholic spree.
Why else would it return to me so free and whimsy?
This drywall sepulcher is for me; I need no more or less.
But a sepulcher needs a corpse. Oh, the knife calls me!
What gramercies I’d give its blade!

But hesitation seems to interject,
are these slings and arrows enough to warrant the end?
What else will amend this corporeal dread?
I can only tread close to life and deaths consummation,
This repeating circumambulation.
This night seems unright for any action.

>>19514773
Explain

Two of my poems just got selected for publication!! And these were two poems that were me just writing the way I want, in my own style! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>19515481
Niiiiice. Link em

>>19513767
If you played FF7, and you thought "Hey, this is a good story," you'll never be a writer anyway.

>>19507153
kinda sounds like Knight in Sour Armor

>have fugitive go to City A because he knows that's where the king is hiding
>rewrite, fugitive goes to Area B because he knows that the regent is planning a coup and he might be able to get backup there
>rewrite, fugitive goes to City A because he knows the regent is planning a coup and thinks the standing army there might believe him if he tells them
The more I look at this character and his storyline, the more dissatisfied I get. Every time I change one character's role in the story, another gets pushed out. Every time I think I'm adequately telling the story, I look at it from the big picture and it feels juvenile or silly. I'm almost thinking it's time for an editor or agent to come in.

>>19511784
No meter or rhyme scheme? Anon, try practicing traditional styles of poetry, you woll find that they are much more fulfilling than free verse.

>>19506637
make sure you use the word "azure" a lot of times

>>19507153
NPC

>>19515470
it's about playing animal crossing

Newfag here
How do I reignite my creativity after a long time off? I used to look at things and just write a little poem about them. Now I've been sucked into a job for a year and my focus has changed

>>19513767
>he story is basically about a world where crystals possess a diverse amount of magic/knowledge inside them and are used as a energy source

Clearly, you have not played FF7 or are just goddamn illiterate.

>>19514024
>I owe $190 on my internet bill and I'm broke as fuck!
Thank god, we'll soon be free of jason

>>19515318
well there's no 100% rule for everything but if you purposely write vaguely then of coutse it will be vague

>>19514615

N1 anon, don't listen to the character dev pseud

>>19514615
>>19508198
Have you read Barabbas by Pär Lagerkvist? If not, read it. It's a short novella, you can read it in a few hours. You may find some inspiration. The style and content has parallels to your own.

Fleur Jaeggy is also a master of the short sentence, so reading her may also be fruitful.

>>19516449
I haven't read either, thanks for the suggestions.
>>19516446
Loathe as I am to reject praise and dopamine, you don't really explain why I shouldn't listen to it. Certainly you cannot please everyone, nor would I attempt to, but the first response did make me start taking it more seriously and think about where I might like to take the gladiator. If that's all I take away from it, then so be it.

>>19516506
There's no point listening to someone who complains about no character progression in a piece that obviously isn't complete, and the mention of 'a character who wants change' is so trite and uninformed. That faggot thought creepypasta was a good metaphor.

Besides, there is enough laid down in that short piece to discern where things may go and what secret desires the gladiator may already have. Spirituality. It's right there in the third paragraph. He can't escape his shackles but he can escape with his soul. The relationship with the King also offers some interesting avenues to explore.

This piece should be expanded into a novella.

i wrote some shit about trees in the fall

little pizzacoloured leaves, confetti of nature rolling and tumbling through the wind and over the hills. a big ol oak tree looks naked and barren and strong, devoid of a thick outer layer, but the trunk and branches stays steadfast on this particular spot. never moves an inch, nothing to worry about, i wish i was an oaktree, or maybe a spruce, i dont know much about trees, those are the only two i know, doesnt really matter right? a trees a tree. i wonder if it cares about seasons, does it prefer summer over winter? maybe it has a sweet spot for fall? do different trees have different preferences? who knows, only the trees do. neverchanging and everpresent trees. does it care about the leaves it loses? does it maybe keep track of all of them, like its little children? its leaves are orange like ive never seen before, its branches spread out in all directions and form 1 whole entity, are the leaves im trampling as much a part of the tree as the trunk that never moves? is the confetti of leaves raining on me the true identity of the tree? who knows, only the tree does, the barren, vulnerable, strong tree. never says a fucking word. when the leaves all rotate and dwindle up or over a hill it makes me feel free.

How detailed should my descriptions of penises be? Should I mention curvature? The color of seed?

>>19516917
Curvature yes, seed no.

>>19516611
Thank you for your perspective and praise.

>>19516173
The library is free and has an internet connection

My epic sci-fi fantasy hidden ancient knowledge epic has such great plot and characters, but I can't work on it until I've done a doctorate's worth of research, but the stories I have that I can write without unlocking the secrets of the Anunnaki all have shitty characters and no plot and they suck.

>>19517540
Is this bait

I've just realised that this asshole has been a monkey on my back for years. I think I must have read his advice on writing at an impressionable age, and never examined it too closely. Now that I've actually read a book of his as an adult, I can see that his style of simple sentences wasn't simple at all.

> I waded out. The water was cold.
A normal human would say:
> I waded out into the cold water.
and that is more or less how the thought would occur to anyone who wasn't so fixated on writing the most primitive sentences possible.

Hemingway is absolute ass as a literary model for anyone who didn't grow up reading Victorian verbosity. There's an entire cult built up around the avoidance of purple prose, with this guy as the main influence behind it, but really, this is what it boils down to: bad writers putting themselves on a leash and making sure that they don't write too much. I'm annoyed that I was ever naive enough to take these tongue-biters seriously.

>>19517844
B-but Hemingway said to kill your darlings, that's the smartest writing advice ever!

>>19517844
I don't see the problem with either example, but I don't know jack shit about hemingway.

>>19517884
I think that was Allen Strunkberg. Americans know all about not saying things, and not using ten dollar words.

I want to write anime do you have any advice on how to write anime I think they have big eyes.

What takes a rape scene from plot driven to tasteless?
Also, is it rape of the woman gets into it, which kills the rapist’s boner, but then she forces him to finish?

>>19517890
His style is to write simple sentences.
It is relentless.
The sentences keep coming.
They come one after another.
They come like lions on the savanna.
Clouds are on the horizon.
The sun was covered by them.
It was hot.
I was sweating.
I looked down at the ground.
There was a frog.
He was green.
His eyes were big and he was smirking at me.
I stepped on him and ground my heel down hard.
I took out my third hip flask.
I drank all of it.

>>19517929
I normally ignore complaints of being tasteless for my rape scenes but when you get into something so fetishistic as role reversal femdom you might be edging that line without really good characters.
Tell me some things you have established for each character up to this point.

>>19517844
I don't take advice from people who offed themselves

>>19518018
Have you ever seen footage of him talking in the years before his suicide? He was in real rough shape.

>>19517929
I think you would need to establish that you have a really good understanding of female psychology before you ever wrote such a scene. But then, if you had that, you wouldn't want to write it. I'm sure you think it's a clever reversal, but sex is much more straightforward than theorists and ironists make it out to be. That's why they're so petrified of it. Sex is as simple as murder, absolutely primal. Communication is no longer verbal, and not even thoughts are verbal. What your describing has more in common with cybersex than actual sex. How do your characters express themselves without recourse to emojis and memes?

>>19517978
It’s the opening scene. He leaves behind a work ID by accident and she uses it to track him down. It’s the start of a romantic comedy as two fucked up people find each other.
>>19518041
>How do your characters express themselves without recourse to emojis and memes?
Are you legit retarded?

>>19518082
I'm not the guy writing a quippy rape scene.

>>19518167
Mm. I’m sure that’s very upsetting to someone like you, who can’t write yet comes to a writing general thread.

>>19518191
If you want to make it realistic, have the entire novel take place in the form of Discord chatlogs. You could at least stake out a new genre that way.

Can elves be niggers?

>something
DELETE THIS WORD ON SIGHT

>>19517943
Bro that's not all Hemingway did. He had plenty of longer sentences.

I did. I finished my novel. 70k, completely edited and ready to go. Now to trad publish!

>>19518757
But is it good, anon?

>>19518825
it doesn't need to be good. if youre a white male with a ton of money any publishing company will push it through

>>19518757
I’m proud of you.

>>19518835
How much is a ton?

>>19518757
Congratulations anon, godspeed

I hope i finish my two works, i got 6k on both of them

>>19518894
if your parents can pay for your entire college through generational wealth then they also have enough to pay for your book to become amazon's top seller

hard work means nothing

>>19519027
Yrue, Id rather be a best-selling author than have my college degree

Any advice for coming up with names for your books mythology without sounding retarted. Some names Ive come up with
>Vigus
>Megor

>>19519327
do it the same way that real people did it back in the day

>>19519335
Meaning?

>>19519370
steal from latin words

>>19519370
the longest place name in a western country is a town in Wales called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
This rougly translates to: "St Mary's church of the pool of the white hazels over against the pool of St Tysilio Gogo [Tysilio of the cave]"
What you should learn from this is that every name that has ever meant anything was just a literal description of that thing. Cardyff, another town in Wales, is the Castle (caer) on the river Dyf. Hamburg is the town (burg) where ham comes from. Thor, god of thunder, is named after the rune used to represent him in writing. The Nile river is called that because Euros were in deNile about how long it was when they discovered it.
It's very simple stuff just pick a language to rip off and put google translate to work.

Trying out new tings:

Nan jabbed an elbow in me sides, scolded me for being cheery at his funeral. I stared at her proper, face squirming, trying to wipe me smile off. She looked mortified at first, like I’d been possessed by some spirit, but when she realized I was only fucking about she jabbed me again, entering her own tug of no-smile. Only my tug wasn’t a tug. I knew it be improper, cheeks all stretched, teeth near peeking out me mouth, and had it been some else’s earthmending I’d made an effort to clench up.
“You’re an absolute stain you are,” said Nanny, concealing a giggle under a cough.
“Is not fair!” I jestered. “Never ave’ I seen a mortal man more miserable than he. It’s not like he tried his damndest now is it? This is what he wanted, one last shindig where none will bother him.”
“Quiet you. Don’t go blabbering that nonsense around.”
Pulling at my arm, she leaned into me, corrected, leaned back again.
“I can go slower,” said I.
“Get off it! It’s not my bloody funeral.”
“Granny-grans, on your deadly day I’ll claw me fingers bloody on the marbles and whail me voice gone. But today we celebrate. Y’know he told me, before the end. That he just wanted to be done with it, all of it.”
“As much as that delights me, it’s not proper,” said Nan and let go of me arm. “We’re here to mourn the man, not parade your misguided conceptions of accomplishment.”

>>19517726
Why would it be

>>19519582
Why don't you write in your own language?

>>19517929
>the woman gets into it, which kills the rapist’s boner
>which kills the rapist’s boner
uh... so you're writing, I don't even want to call it fantasy. how about shit that never happens

>>19519582
the english dialect sounds improbable
you kind of get it, but most of that would never be written in the same way it would be spoken
shindig is american slang and doesn't fit the regional british mood

>>19506415
Just some thoughts I had after a hike upstate reflecting on Egyptian mythology and the geological history of Earth

>Books lie, he said. God dont lie. No, said the judge. He does not. And these are his words. He held up a chunk of rock. He speaks in stones and trees, the bones of things.
- The Judge, Blood Meridian

Ptah is a lame god in that he is bounded in mummy form, a strange feature for a craftsman and architect to posses. But we must take into account Ptah “crafted the world in His heart”, the entire world, and the subsequent cycles and evolutions it would go through were already pre-determined as a watchmaker designs a watch that runs on it’s own, and all He had to do to bring them about was “think.” The movements of continents, glaciers, erosion, and other such factors are all environmental factors that were created and “wound up” by Ptah, or any other name the Creator goes by, and that can chiefly be seen in environments such as the winter mountains, the spring valley, or the summer shores. I used to be "anti-science" like it seems many people here have turned because of the COVID psyop and it's blatant neglection of facts such as the differences between races and genders and other ways it has been hjijacked to legitimize the system, but there is honestly nothing incompatible about esotericism and science. I used to believe space was fake (I still don’t believe in moon landing or aliens) and the Earth was probably younger, but than I read a Wikipedia article on the geological history of Earth and was simply in awe, the same awe I had looking at the timeline at the museum many years ago as a child. The fact that the world has existed for billions and not thousands of years and space is almost infinite is much more divine to me than a flat 6,000 year old Earth.

>>19517929
>>19518082
Post the rape scene if you have it written.

>>19520118
Dumb coomer.

>>19507322
As my concioussness expands, so too does the universe. This is good.
If my concioussness can expand, can/shouldn't my concept of religion also expand with it?
God never left, we needed to expand our concept of god to take advantage of our expanded concioussness and understanding of reality.

>>19520230
I’m a necessary part of our ecosystem. How can someone know if they are producing something worth cooming to there is no one to coom in the first place?

>>19520345
Logical coomer. I concede.

>>19506415

>>19520522
kek

What do you find funny when you read? I find that punchlines and wacky similes don't do it for me, but absurd/outlandish situations and great timing always get me.

>>19521728
yeah
the one thing I'd avoid is having a character just for comic relief. I always find those characters to be cringe

I'm making a story in which an innocent character gets "corrupted" by a nihilistic role model/friend. How should I approach this?

How many of you have been published in litmags or newspapers?

>>19521927
I got 2 lit mags and 2 academic journals under my belt. I hope I can graduate from this place because no matter what, it's always the same.

>>19522320
>hope I can graduate from this place because no matter what, it's always the same
What place? What's the same?

>>19521728
>>19521744
My first instinct was to agree with both of you but I can find instances that disagree. Part of the thing about timing in an absurd situation is that it requires misdirection, and the reader is provoked to compare his expectations with the actual result of the build-up. The more sudden and unexpected this comparison, the more shocking the reveal. Brevity being the soul of wit, the trigger for the comparison has to be something of a punchline. Even a one-liner typically has an identifiable turning point where the expectations of the first half are upset. It can just go on and on, adding one absurd detail after another, but that's unsatisfying for the same reason you can't just write 100,000 words of increasingly difficult monster battles and call it a novel.

>>19521728
>>19521744
My first instinct was to agree with both of you but I can find instances that disagree. Part of the thing about timing in an absurd situation is that it requires misdirection, and the reader is provoked to compare his expectations with the actual result of the build-up. The more sudden and unexpected this comparison, the more shocking the reveal. Brevity being the soul of wit, the trigger for the comparison has to be something of a punchline. Even a one-liner typically has an identifiable turning point where the expectations of the first half are upset. It can just go on and on, adding one absurd detail after another, but that's unsatisfying for the same reason you can't just write 100,000 words of increasingly difficult monster battles and call it a novel.

How to write a fight scene?

>>19522398
I wanna graduate from coming to 4chan and /wg/ in particular because it's not a good use of my time. I feel stagnant just being here.

>>19522625
/wg/ is not a good place for writers, but if you really cared you would buy books on writing and start improving your craft. you're here because you don't want to improve. you want the feeling of improvement while actually jacking off and accomplishing nothing while the other losers pull you down. now leave and think about some themes, don't come back

>>19522637
Themes should emerge naturally rather than being something you try to fit your writing around.

>>19522757
This. If you try too hard for formalism in your writing, you'll end up with something like Bloom's abortive Flight to Lucifer. Writing reflects the writer, and the best of it (I'm convinced) is primarily intuitive. If themes emerge, it's because they're what the author has been thinking about. I forget who said it, maybe Coetzee (he was probably quoting someone else), but there's this idea that a great writer must be a great man. I'm not sure if I agree completely, but I do think a great writer needs to be a thinker in his "off time." The things that consume you and entice your most autistic examinations have no choice but to bleed through into your writing of their own accord. If you have to force them in they probably don't belong.

What do you guys think?

>>19522790
Needs more paragraphs, that wall is eyesore.

>>19522795
Give me a minute or so.

>>19522790
I dislike it. Schizo rambles can be compelling, but this one isn't. The prose is ugly and halting. If you're going to write like a schizo, you need to present it better. The best nonsense has nuggets of sense interspersed, and those sense-nuggets need to take on the characterization of transcendent, cosmic truths. Otherwise the whole thing just reads like drivel.

>>19522809
>schizo
Kind of am. It wasn't intentional.

I'll post a more recent one. Is there any improvement whatsoever in the prose?
I truly cannot make the distinction between bad and good.

>>19521744
Me sir thinking you be cringe.

>>19514024
We had a garage sale a few years back and I set up a table with my books and a small sign that said "local author lives here please support"
This mom rolls up with two little kids and when she sees the sign, she looks around and we make eye contact and she starts asking a million questions about each book. Really dumb questions, where she's asking about the minutia of each story. One of the three I had stacked up was a really brutal horror story, basically a rape doujin in book form, and she was pressing me about what I meant by horror, what exactly happens, what SPECIFICALLY happens and I was avoiding answering and for the first time in years, I felt my face burning red because I couldn't explain that it had erotically described murder and rape in front of her kids and I had no idea what to say, so I just kept saying it was bad, horror, not for kids, not good, not age appropriate, no seriously not a good fit.
She ended up buying one of each. For her kids. For a few weeks after I was expecting her to roll up and pound on my door.

>>19519942

The market is too small and the language itself is very rigid.

>>19520070

Ait I'll just drop the dialect

>>19517844
Writing advice is not universal. Hemingway, King, Sanderson, Bukowski, they all just inform you the ways in which they reached their schedule/goal, and they're all vastly different. One says to keep a firm schedule of writing every single day with a strong outline and reading can interfere with your prose, another says read constantly and write when you're inspired, another says to live a full life and write only if and when you have something you want to say.None of them are correct, they had different goals and aspirations.

How do I force myself to start writing? I have a general idea already but I'm stuck in this perpetual state of stagnation because I'm scared that it won't turn out the way I want, which it probably won't considering that this will be the first time I try to write a story.

>>19523598
Write shorter pieces first.

>>19513592
How did you explain the problem of the track being longer than the Earth's circumference?

>>19523806
It follows a 1 degree angle northward so it actually spirals around the circumference of the earth multiple times. This also explains why they find another set of tracks if they start moving north or south. They think they're in a looping reality but it's just the next step of the spiral.

>>19523819
How did you know?

>>19523598
find a room that you can use for just writing. place your laptop of notebooks there. now you need to go there, sit down, and open the notebook or turn on the laptop and open word. you should do this everyday at a set time. you don't have to write, just prepare to write. it will take 2 minutes, if that. then you can either leave, or actually write ... eventually you will write.

>>19523806
A track raised even a foot off the ground would also dramatically exceed the circumference of the earth.

>>19523845
Because I'm you and you're me anon.

>>19523893
Ah yes, the double. One of the few truly worthy literary themes along with time, space, infinity, memory and pointless dueling.

>>19506572
Might sound like your justifying abuse. They'd probably want a "patroarchy bad" so I'd probably end it with him turning himself in like Crime and Punishment

>>19506578
Having thought about it, my idea is she's some midwestern chick who married some Chad finance guy. He works 80 hour weeks, makes 300k a year, is great looking. The story starts with an average dinner but she has a minor complaint and he explodes. A complete narcissist, calls her a leeching whore and all that. She believes him when he calls her dumb and worthless but catches him cheating on her and realizes he is just an asshole and kills him.

>>19523975
If you actually win this contest I will laugh my ass off in incredulity

>>19524075
Know your audience fag lol

>>19523975
1500 words isn't enough for that

>>19524121
Maybe it starts with her reflecting on the situation alone the next day. It's pretty much just Betty Draper from Mad Men

>>19516087
>How do I reignite my creativity
Rape someone and try to get away with it. The perfect rape, so to speak.

New Thread
>>19524302

>>19524302

>>19524302

>>19513033
Holy shit