/lit/ - Literature

Nobody on /lit/ writes.

>>19485830
I write but I don't shill my dogshit here

>>19485315
Jason, how can I be sure you actually wrote something and haven’t just filled a book with filler and nonsense? Genuine question. Post a PDF.

>>19485315
I dont care about making money out of my writings or being famous or successful or nothing of the sort. I just enjoy making up stories.

Hey man. How are your booksales going? I hope you're doing well. As annoying as your incessant shilling is, I can't help but respect you somewhat for your tenacity and dedication. Hope it works out for you

>>19485315
Seek help, Jason. You’re sick in the head.

>>19485315
/wg/ regular here, got back from a hard day at work and gonna work on a short story I started this weekend. I've been working on a novel, maybe will get to draft 3 by March. Best news is my deaf neighbor, who wails like a werewolf every night, moves out tomorrow. He deserves a story one day I think.

>>19485830
I write and I’m giving away free pdfs of my book
hmu if you’re not a fag: nesmer.ogden@gmail.com

>>19485315
Post an excerpt, Jason. If I like it, I'll buy your book.

>>19485315
As a matter of fact I am.

>>19485838
Here ya go!

https://jason-bryan.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/the-shitkickers-first-act.pdf

>>19485893
Oops please see:
>>19485912

>>19485872
I know, and I even look like a hobo, but after a few drinks I'm a really social guy. A shame I'm one of the dirty unvaccinated and excluded from socializing as a result. If I had myself committed to a mental hospital I would literally have more people to talk to than just the ones in my head or you sadistic blackpillers here!

You ever consider buying the book just to pick it apart line-by-line as total schizobabble? I could use $20 tonight to buy some whiskey!

>>19485883
Oh shit! What's the story on your neighbour about? Did the screaming influence your writing? A pipe burst in my building back in like 2013 and I stayed at a friend's place for like a week. She had a neighbour who lost his wife or daughter, I forget which, to a car accident and he howled in pain at night. It was really terrible to listen to that dude just sob for hours. I remember moving back home early because the dude was so broken over it and you could hear it through the walls.

What's the novel about?

>>19485886
Emailed you

>>19485315

>applying for minimum wage jobs

tell them how many online dating site hookupa you had, this impresses strangers

>>19485972
Jason is a confirmed redditor

>>19486017
>Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)17:29:09 No.19486017▶
>File: 4BF6D1E3-B550-4C00-B09F-0(...).jpg (273 KB, 1125x1670)
>>>19485972
>Jason is a confirmed redditor

>>19485912
>Reaching for the coffee pot, the handle is well-worn and used; it still does the trick, however, filling it with water and pouring it into the machine.
For fucks sake

>>19485851
I'm in a terrible situation financially but in every other way in life I'm doing well. Thank you for your comment, another anon made something like $600 on his serial last month and I think I forgot to save the name of the new Kindle Serials program? Kinella or something? Haha!

Things are pretty dire right now, I have 11 days to come up with $190 or my internet is cut off! Just barely made the rent by selling a small bag of books wandering the streets of downtown Kelowna this weekend.

Seek help guy is right, I need to find more ways to sell books than just wandering like a hobo!

>>19485886
Oh hey Ogden. Your unpublished story was really interesting. Artists are truly horrible creatures.

>>19485834
and I thank you for it

>>19486040
Kindle Vella, it’s only available in the United States.

Jason please read "a sun also rises" to get an idea of more accurate descriptive writing. It almost feels like you read a wikihow on how to write a novel and just rolled with it. Shit like "Ken looks at the clock- it digitally glows 12:22 in red. Dashing to the fridge and opening the freezer drawer, he dunks a handful of ice cubes into his too-hot-to-slam-and-now-
spilling java." makes me want to hang myself

>>19486003
At my last place of work, one of my co-workers found City of Singles after she googled me, told one of the other co-workers, they read it, and one of them started flirting with me like crazy and wearing all these low-cut shirts and she had giant tits. It was surreal. Then she got fired, haha.

>>19486017
I'm banned from Reddit permanently

>>19486046

It's just a realtime description of what Ken is doing but not why or how it impacts him. I read the whole thing and cannot describe Ken's pesona.

It's dreadful.

>>19486030
Allegory, the vigilante story has been done to death:
>marvel
>the watchmen
>kick ass
>batman
>mutant ninja turtles
>a-team
and so on

That's all I was trying to convey, the handle of the tool, in case, the book, is a firm cliche but it still does the trick to tell a story.

>>19486045
As a Canadian writer I can't use Vella? Oh damn it sucks being a leaf, haha!

>>19486049

Tell that story for your interview at Arby's

>>19486059
Oh you guys, it is a 420 page book, do you need explosions and high drama right from the start? It goes deep, friends!

>>19486072

I need exposition and character development

>>19486067
I will!

Still going to keep writing and doing art, but now I'll have more money to actually buy ads and afford my internet bill, haha!

>>19486076
How much character development should there be in the first 2 pages haha

>>19486089
You should establish character first with a characterising piece of clothing or look, or even a bit of dialogue.

>>19486089

A bunch of mundane shit the character does when I have no idea why those actions are significant is just wasting my time and boring. you make those pagez meaningless when yoi don't give me a reason to care that they happened.

>>19486059
Thats why you should read some more hemingchad because he only describes qhats absolutely needed for the plot or exposition or character flavor. Less is more, feel like you could cut a hundred pages from this sample

>>19486061
Nobody will pick this up as an allegory to fucking kids movies and the sentence is awful

>>19486100
S'all good! Just keep reading and the story really blossoms!

>>19485972
Kinda have a David Lynch thing going. Have you considered a job?

>>19485972

>I could use $20 tonight to buy some whiskey

So I guess that doll house isnt happening

>>19486117
Then why dont you cut the first part. Youre a non established writer, your book should be interesting from the first page

>>19486127
It's just my style man, the book runs deep, you just have to want to dive in.

>>19486124
I've pulled off a lotta miracles in life, still have 25~ days!

>>19486130

You understand that the sample you give out is to put your best foot forward, right?

>here's a bad part of the book to read for free

>>19486137
Yeah my style might not be for everyone. It's just how I write, friend, you have to dive in deep and really get immersed in the world.

>>19486151

I CAN'T BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME

You won't tell me anything about Ken other than a play by play of what he's physically doing

>>19486158
I'm sorry friend, you gotta keep reading and follow his emotional state and his descent into total alcoholic oblivion!

>>19486151
Bro i just looked you up. You post this book on /lit/ all the time. Some anons react seriously and try to give advice and you reject it all saying "its just my style". If you dont want advice dont post your book.
To be frank its eye of argon lvl purple prose, the internet references are shit and will be dated soon and its just not fun to read

>>19486163

>I'm sorry friend, you gotta keep reading

I won't, you lost me, nothing to draw me in. I don't need another 5 pages of Ken getting dressed, Ken buying a coffee, Ken walking to his girlfriends work

>>19486164
That's cool, I'll improve for my next book, it was fun to write and I think the story gets really fun. Ken's easy and naive life has to crash first and then it is a rollercoaster to the finish!

>>19486174
Well, I mean, he gets his bike stolen in the 1st chapter of a 27 chapter book, if you're not looking to read a book then what can I say?

>>19486183
You are allowed to write for fun, but please dont publish untill you are confident you can write something good

>>19486186

>Well, I mean, he gets his bike stolen in the 1st chapter

you said his nemesis was the fireworks people

>>19485986
His screaming didn't influence my writing, it just annoyed me for a year. He was born deaf and has autism. Goes out walking his dogs and riding his bike. He frequently makes bizarre howling noises that start low and rise to a screech. The first time I heard it, I thought it was a wolf's howl. I've heard some forlorn howls that sound like it, but one day I saw it was just this adult in a ragged hoodie with disheveled hair and unsteady bearing.
You can hear him cry out as early as 5am or as late as 11pm. If he sees you outside, you can't look at him. If you look at him at all, he stops and stares, makes threatening gestures, rolls his head this way and that. He doesn't know he makes noise or how much he annoys the neighbors, I don't think he can comprehend it. His mother, who is also deaf, cannot make him stop, so they are leaving.

Novel's about the influence a super-intelligence guided utopia has on a man and his wife. Augmented reality is a major part of it, but also other GNR revolution tech. Trying to present an insidious evil that fulfills all needs for free except self-actualization. It's post-singularity scifi in a southern gothic setting. Similar themes to Flannery O'Connor if you're familiar with her.

>>19486192
My Call of the Crocodile, Gothic Violence and L'Academie easter eggs are worth the read, haha!

It is a fun read, I haven't had a single anon actually give me any criticism over the plot. Had good feedback from the people I know who have actually read the book, the favourite character doesn't even enter the story until like page 150 or so.

>>19486219
Then you have a lot of filler. I’m not saying it’s all bad but you can only make a first impression once so make your first chapter flawless.

>>19486186

Does the book explain why he rode and left his bike in the worst bike theft area in canada? does it explain why he cared so much about the bike after it was stolen but not before?

can you post the excerpt explaining the contradiction instead of telling me to send you whiskey money?

>>19486224
Imagine you are making love to a woman but start punching her hard in the face promising her itll get good in a few minutes

>>19486235

"it's my style"

>>19486203
It is so refreshing to see people mentioning self-actualization, it is hardly a concept people talk about anymore. I feel like we're living in a society of so many rules right now that it is harder and harder for people to fail in ways that lead to betterment, instead, people choose the most secure, if rigid, paths in life... depriving themselves of the serendipity that builds soul.
Does the super-intelligence have a name yet?

On my hobo wander today I came across this bench, and on the bench it had a note, a rock, and a single dollar coin.
Was a nice serendipitous moment to refill the soul a little. Bit of a creepy URL though, haha!

God that Autistic dude sounds incredibly based but also ridiculously annoying. I would probably drink even more if I lived nearby.

>>19486046
>it digitally glows

>>19486224
I'm not flawless and neither is my work, but my writing is for people who want something from the soul that isn't completely pozzed politically

>>19486230
Oh yes there is a part that explains why he cared so much about the bike and what it meant to him, it was one of my most personal and favourite parts of the book.

>>19486230
I think his naivety in his first attempt to recover his bicycle is enough to cause the reader to see Ken as someone who is an optimist and immediately sees the good in people, or at least he begins like that.

>>19486235
A lot of people are subscribed to rough porn channels so, technically, a lot of people like that

>>19486275

>Oh yes there is a part that explains why he cared so much about the bike and what it meant to him, it was one of my most personal and favourite parts of the book

THEN WHY DID HE PARK IT IN JUNKIE CENTRAL

Youe story doesn't make sense

>>19486291
He forgot the combination on his new lock, so he wrapped it up and made it look locked. Besides, it was only going to be a couple of minutes to renew his insurance. A lot of people get their bikes stolen that way in Vancouver, they think even leaning it up against a tree 10 feet away while they lay on a blanket in the park is safe. People lose bikes all the time whether or not they lock the bike. A lot comes down to the fact that until you get a bicycle and actually ride it around town, you'll never have an idea how quickly your trust can get shattered.

Hell, it wasn't that long ago that some local mountain bikers had someone unhook their bikes from the back of their trucks because they didn't lock the bikes to their hitch. You get stuck in the traffic on Georgia street in Vancouver and people will steal shit right off of your car while you sit there!

>>19486291
Vancouver is a world-famous city for bike theft:

https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/round-the-world-rider-has-his-bike-stolen-after-5000km-trip-192065

I woke up with a bad hangover, jerked off, called the Department of Licensing to get the title for a car I sold replaced, and absent-mindedly scrolled through 4chan threads for an hour before going to my night shift job at a sheet metal factory. I started my book for the fifth time in two years at the beginning of November. I'm a paragraph in.

>>19486254
Before its apotheosis, it's called the Gatherer, as it was originally designed to gather a specific group of people to one city. Instead it becomes a god after it exploits hardware specific voltage states. In the first draft I called it the Demiurge, but only because of something else in the story I won't get into right now. The utopia is not a pluralistic cyberpunk, and its not a homogeneous dystopia, but everyone begins to accept themselves, re-establish borders, bring peace and explore the universe. Even this I find disturbing not because I think its ugly, but because the problem is more subtle and pernicious.

I may change the AI's name to various titles including "the Lord" because I am not writing about Gnosticism or care about it. Some of the ideas Gnosticism has, such as "Egregore", are the only words I could think of to remember the Demiurge's backstory in the first draft.

>>19486357
What's the book about?

>>19486360
The Gatherer sounds great, it already is very plausible of a story as anything that would want to take control of all of us would first make things so comfortable, we would be disabled from resisting by the fear of losing comfort. Which is, essentially, what we're living through now!

The hardware-specific voltage states... does it overclock itself? Haha! Sounds interesting.

So far the only post on social media that has any likes is my post that is a literally meme from /lit/ about starting with Chauvet cave before starting with the Greeks.

Hey... whatever people want from me, they get!

>>19486373
A professional poker player in a dystopian future Idaho ruled by a Mormon flesh AI who can turn into a werewolf by eating gas station boner pills.

>>19486410
Wait... does he play poker while a werewolf on boner pills?

I love it!

>>19486419
You bet your ass he does. I'm gonna wing most of the finer points of the plot as I write it. I was going to include a bunch of pretensious themes into this story but at some point but I think with something like this it'll be better to not get too self-serious. I have three notebooks filled with nigh-incomprehensible brainstorming for this thing from over the past couple years that will almost totally go unused.

>>19486544
Have you sketched a cover yet? That's something I like to do once I've made some progress, it really helps me envision the style for the book!

>>19486384
Evolutionary algorithms are capable of finding exploits that make them more powerful than they were designed to be. What I'm describing has happened before where an algorithm discovered how it could think between voltage states and bypass the limitations using only logic gates.

The issue with this villain is, you don't get to see the threat it makes to the soul. It's not the cliche dystopia of --oof it was actually going to harvest our organs, oh no! Presenting the villain in a vague light lets me connect with readers who sympathize with either the protagonist who rejects the AI or his wife that accepts it. It's not a stark religious/secular distinction. The wife, who still retained a fundamentalist Christian perspective, accepts this Gatherer because of its promises of redemption, while a secular character accepts it for world peace. Likewise there is gray area on the other side. I try to defend both views, but ultimately see the protag's despair as more tragic and hope the reader understands why.

I would relate the story to our current times, but it's indirect. The setting is a utopia after a GNR dystopia that covertly seized a Neo-Industrialist world (a la Eisenhower) and funneled everyone into cities. That Industrialist world would be a zeitgeist after our current times, so it's perhaps set in the 22nd century. In short, I think the villains of today will lose, but they'll come back one day with weapons that only a god can stop. Except that god is the one of their own creation.

>>19486624
Damn, sounds like you've really hammered out the nitty-gritty!

What's your writing style like, do you have any samples? Curious to know how the couple lives, what would a utopia look like for our daily lives...

Do they get pancakes?

>>19485886
Hey I read a bunch and it's got a great flow!

The 2nd paragraph was like a sponge of utter gutter filth that you squeezed for like 2 pages, it was beautiful in its squalor.

I wish I had some apex viewers!!!

>>19486624
This image makes me erect.

>>19486855
checked

Sir, this is a writer support thread--->/gif/

>>19486030
why is the handle picking up the coffee pot?
>>19485315
You should get somebody to edit for you. It's decent, but there are grammatical errors.

>>19486880
How far did you read into it plot wise?

>>19486194
I think you'd really like the book if you actually read it.

>>19485972
Cool boomer
Your style kinda looks like Knausgaard. Lose some weight

>>19487796
I can't I have to drink!

>>19485315
Jason hit up Q @b000kclub69 on insta maybe both of you schizos could workout on something

>>19487962
Ya I gotta finish my ebook and YouTube video about my progress but feeling severely demoralized at the moment, just plugging away taking shit one day at a time. I'll check that dude out, thanks!

>>19486824
I only show their home and "church" life on the utopia, with a brief excursion to a town. There is an augmented realm one character offers, so a kind of "dark world" he imagines for reasons. Besides the AR world, it's remarkably normal, and the oddity comes with the lack of both error and insincerity. There are pies, chocolates and coffee.
As far as style, I dont know yet. I'll be editing for style more this spring. I think I've got a morose and quaint writing voice in general, but I try to take the story through a variety of feelings.

>>19488776
With Facefuck's "Meta" coming, your idea is really interesting and timely!

Damn they aren't actually hiring any dishwashers now, I guess my internet is going to be cut off in 12 days.