/lit/ - Literature

>>19474227
I miss Norm Macdonald. I miss Sean Lock. Perhaps the two greatest influences on my sense of humor and how i write in general, despite not even being writers.
David Firth is still alive, thank god for that.

>>19474227
Why was the last thread pruned? It had actual discussion?

>>19474227
i've finally broken through. the last remnants of inhibition have been lifted and i am finally in tune with life and reality. i am no longer anxious or lonely. i've gained so much in the last year or so, friends, lovers, professional achievements, deep realizations etc. curiously enough i've also become fat at the same time.

>>19474227
I hate when people make art that includes neon signs like this but don't even try to make the text believable. No one's going to write just the word "shit" on a billboard. It's ridiculously low-effort to not just make up a store name or something.

>>19474286

Finished The Sickness unto Death. Had to watch a lecture and read spark notes to fully understand it.

Elmo makes the best "Millennial Nostalgia" music —id est: nostalgic music made post Millennial era by Millennials—; his sublime, childly singing perfectly captures the intrinsic longing of the freedomloving Millennial spirit, and its impellence toward unity:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfSa4vfY2WU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-xnSA6yaJU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6L-L2Ebip8

"Realiti", by: Grimes, is another example of excellent "Millennial Nostalgia" music.

>>19474359
This sounds fucking awful
/mu/ fags would probably love it though

>>19474359
Last night I had a weird dream that I was arrested for throwing loafs of bread at our prime minister.

but in the police report I was misidentified as being Cambodian for some reason.

>>19474227
I think I've grown a little as a person since she left me four months ago. For starters, I am a little bit less afraid of directly confronting people. It's not much but I am learning. There was a coworker who didn't prepare anything for our lab experiments and was being dead weight. I was firm— but not mean — and directly called him out saying that I didn't want to work with him anymore for the remainder and most work-intensive part of our collaboration once we finished our experiments. I bet he's still cursing me for making him write a 30-pages long lab report on his own (that I had to write too but it wasn't my first time because I didn't get in my last bachelor's year by a fluke).

Anyways, fuck that faggot. I believe I would have shut my mouth and just done the work a few months ago and it's an improvement by this standard.

I was initially going to say that I miss my girlfriend of five years and complain about being lonely but I feel a little better now. I'm probably still mentally weak but I'm improving. I'm improving.

I miss Ronald Macdonald. I miss John Locke. Perhaps the two greatest influences on my sense of humor and how i write in general, despite not even being writers.
Colin Firth is still alive, thank god for that.

I wish I had studied when I started my degree and actually finished courses
If I'm lucky the total length of time for my worthless ba will be 6 years if not more
Fuck me
Also yes I'm a whiny bitch

My brown gf is eager to start porn casting. I tried to persuade her to give up but she wants to get in porn business.

She said it is because of my small cock. But I know it is all about money.

She will get fucked by a real porn stud in front of the camera and I will not be able to do anything about it. Now I feel like a loser and I know why she is fucking other guys all the time.

I should have never let her do it.

>>19474423
The only question I have is why you haven't broken up yet

>>19474407
>girlfriend of five years

>>19474423
epic cuck fantasy

>>19474418
6 years? Lucky.
It's going to take 7 for me to finish my design BA.

>>19474435
Please enlighten me on how to call an ex with whom you spent five years of your life with.

>>19474442
>with whom you spent five years of your life with.

>>19474432
I tried to and she said "how can we break up when I exist only in your fantasy?"

My best friend didn't choose me to be his man of honour because I don't have a girlfriend. Today I wasn't invited for dinner because I don't have a girlfriend. I'm 25. I knew this moment would come, but it's hard to deal with it nonetheless. Every time I'm with them now I can feel their pity over me. Poor anon is all alone, hope he finds someone soon. The first hit is always the hardest, but I better get used to it.

>>19474464
With some makeup I can be a pretty convincing girl, maybe I can go with you, anon.

>>19474464
>he has friends to not invite him to things
must be nice!

>>19474442
More confused as to how someone is your girlfriend for five years. I got married after 2.

>>19474464
What a fucking bastard

>>19474272
God bless you, anon.
I've always struggled with my weight and if any bit of advice is to be given, then I'd say to you: try to not get too caught up on the fat bit.
You can work through it.

I think a good Christian horror concept would be a revelation that nobody is saved. Everyone, including believers, is found lacking and Jesus says "I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." All of humanity being damned (and deserving it) seems like a terrifying concept to me. Don't know how to work it into a story though.

>>19474487
We started dating in high school and then enrolled in college. We had no money and planned to marry after graduation.

>>19474476
It would be nice to date men. I'm horrible with women.
>>19474481
Neighbor's grass is always greener.
>>19474493
My uncle told me to hire a escort and go with her, kek.

>>19474438
Yeah I know 6 years isn't even THAT much, I'll be like a year or two older than most graduates which isn't too horrible.
I'm just really frustrated with myself because my situation is entirely my fault, I wasn't in the hospital, working or even partying, jjst too lazy to study and failed half my courses.
Do you like design as a subject still despite taking longer?

These threads are the only thing that allow me to peer into the inside life of people. These threads are the only thing that make me feel less alone

Ever since March 2020, or perhaps even earlier, I have been asleep to life. I have not grown in any meaningful way: I have not progressed in my life skills, I have lost the ability to think, I have lost the ability to sleep without distraction, I cannot focus, I cannot seem to find the bravery and mental/physical strength to confront my life, I have gained, lost my hair, and gained tremendous chronic pain in multiple parts of my body. My life has basically become distraction after distraction due to my tremendous physical pain and mental fatigue.

Please somebody help me. I don't know what to do.

>>19474464
Next time anyone says anything about you being alone, laugh to their face and don't elaborate. That's what my brother does. It does wonder at making those flies uncomfortable.

>>19474520
my condolences man

>>19474576
in*

I hate the road. I hate other fucking drivers. I hate having to suffer these zombies on the road. That I have to consider the reality that some asshole distracted on drugs, their phone, their booze, their dicks could swerve right in front of me and deliver me into fiery demise makes me so angry, I wish my car had retractable javelins in the rims to shred these 'people' for getting too close. Let me put a barbed railroad track on the front bumper to gore morons. I want to just drive a bulldozer down the highway and brake on these idiots. And God forbid any uppity cunt pulls out in front of me just to flip me off for having the gall to not give way to their overwhelming superiority of the road. I would give anything to cuff them on the wrist and drag them across the asphalt until there's nothing left but a sizzling smear. I've had straight up rage attacks from having rocks thrown at my fucking windows while driving. Now I have to remember forever that a bullet, a brick, or a speeding tire can shatter through my car and end me before I know what the hell is happening. All to go back and forth to a job that doesn't even need me and can't pay me enough to live, so I can aspire to pay for a meaningless joke of a school that can't bother to teach people anything. Fucking boomers and my millennial peers say this is "independence," when all it is, is a death trap en route to pathetic consumer hell, forever. You maggot-hearted zombies can all choke on fumes.

>>19474464
That guy does not sound like your friend.

>>19474538
I have a similar issue, I tend to just fall off halfway through a semester. I'm very good at lying to myself and convincing myself to make decisions I know are poor. As soon as I miss one class, I'll talk myself into missing the next, then skipping the homework, then not showing up to the test, and before I know it I've talked myself into failing multiple courses.
I think it's part stress from my job, given that I have a tendency to overwork myself and pick up the slack for lazy coworkers, and part just some undiagnosed mental issue. If I focused even half the energy I put into my shitty part-time retail job into classwork instead, I'd be a solid B student.
>Do you like design as a subject still despite taking longer?
I do enjoy it, I've always been the type to care a lot about aesthetics.
The main reason I'm sticking with it is it's one of the few jobs I can actually imagine myself doing. The only three things I've ever thought seemed interesting are medicine, design, and owning an antique shop. Starting up a store is far beyond my financial means, and my grades are way too fucked to get into med school. Design is what's left. It's something I wouldn't mind dedicating most of my time to, which is important to me.

>>19474407
Well why did she leave you

The burden of potential is one of responsibility. There is no greater fear than realizing that you will have to face God after wasting all of that talent.

>>19474718
luck you

>>19474718
For me it's not really about facing God. I feel beholden to the faith that everyone I've ever known had for me, like I have to make myself worthy of their respect. There was a long stretch of time where I had this cloud of shame hanging over me all the time because of it.

>>19474572
I'm in the same mental place, and I have very mild low grade pain, but it can go away for weeks or months randomly. But I also feel chronically overwhelmed and mentally weak/fragile and don't seem to consistently even feel in control and with my mental faculties in full control. But what I have sounds less intense than your experience.

I typed up a big long post and then deleted it because I realized I have nothing interesting to say.

>>19474643
I really get the part of convincing yourself to stop going to class, I already started thinking like that again and the semester isn't even halfway over yet.
I really need to kick that habit if I want to graduate on time, well relatively on time.
Nice that you really enjoy what you're studying kinda feels like most people end up hating their subject after a while.
I wish I was more passionate aboit mine, might make it easier to motivate myself.
I hope everything works out well for you.

>>19474464
Your friends are shit. I married my high school sweetheart and I love my old friends, coupled or single. My best man was an old buddy who was single at that time. Being single has nothing to do with anything. Stop seeing those assholes, they seem toxic as fuck.

>>19474227
I would like to read something with the same vibe of that pic

I was led on by this girl for a long, long time, with her always finding a reason for us not to take things to the next level despite saying she oh so liked me. She moved away recently, but kept making contact until vanishing a couple months ago. Turns out it was because she found a boyfriend there so I'm not needed anymore. I feel awful and bitter. I try to not think about it and let it go but it breaks through. At least it was a learning experience.

recommend me a cheap indie game to get from the steam sale i'm bored

>>19474908
Cyberpunk

>>19474577
Thanks, anon. It still hurts but I guess she wasn't the one

>>19474653
She didn't feel safe even when I was around (even though I did physically protect her on several occasions and risked my life when it mattered the most), she didn't like the way I saw most things and she wanted me to put more effort into our relationship. She also said that even when I was with her on the phone, it still felt like she was still alone. That our relationship wasn't like it used to be, that I was a coward unable to take decisions, that I sometimes acted like an autist (I can't express any joy when receiving gifts, didn't understand in the middle of a surprise party that it was a late party for my birthday), etc. It was all things I already knew and hated about myself but hearing someone saying them is different.
She was the love of my life and I wasn't hers, that's about it. We shared everything and considered the other an extension of ourselves, always publicly taking each others' sides even if we disagreed afterwards in private, went through depression, uni and life together only for it to come to this point.

It's sad but it's life. I know she didn't cheat on me and really dumped me because she couldn't handle me anymore, that's a meagre but comforting thought to have.

>>19474921
that's like 30 bucks dude i'm looking for something more like 15

>>19474906
She'll come back to you. When that happens, be a man and say no.

>>19474908
Inscryption

>>19474906
She wanted the benefit of your companionship without any risk. You're meant to cut whores off right away my guy.

>>19474930
Sounds like she grew up and you didn't.

can someone post the "start with the ancient mesopotamians" chart? the one with gilgamesh?

>>19474932
Iratus is pretty nice reverse darkest dungeon basically

>>19474449
Stab her.

>>19474934
looks cool but idk how deckbuilders work not sure im up for learning a new genre
>>19474945
never played that or darkest dungeon but looks similar enough to rpgs that it won't be too hard to get into, might give it a go

>>19474966
If you like rpgs underrail is pretty good
Though it's pretty difficult

>>19474943
>Sounds like she grew up and you didn't.
That's pretty much it, yeah. I became somewhat of a recluse over the years and couldn't keep up with her whether it was socially or mentally. I used to be the voice of reason in our relationship and she looked up to me but the balance of power broke. She was nearly impossible to read near the end of our relationship. She wanted me to beg her to stay, and I just accepted that it was over.

With her gone and an already distant family, I felt very alone but it's a little better. I'm talking to strong-headed people and their mentality is rubbing off on me.

>>19475029
>she looked up to me but the balance of power broke

A relationship is a lot of work, especially as the man as you are meant to be a well of power and stability for your significant other. Sounds like she really loved you if she was able to communicate so clearly and honestly.

>>19475036
Jesus Christ, you've struck a nerve right here. I still can't get back to her until I change.

I recently left a girl who I had been seeing for a couple of years. If the relationship had lasted longer, she probably would have become my wife.

At the end, I couldn't have sex with her - I wasn't even aroused by her or any of her advances. At first, I chalked it up to chronic stress and "getting in my own head," then to overtraining (I am in an endurance sport, where athletes are prone to hypergonadism) and physical exhaustion from a tough season and semester.

But then, what I settled on was the simple reason that love, or more accurately someone loving me, had become so all consuming that is was suffocating.

But I'm starting to wonder now if the reason why I miss her is not because I loved her, but because I am a massive narcissist that requires constant validation, and she was one of the few in my life who gave that to me.

>>19474227
I was a young kid, just starting college, first time living in a dorm and all the rest. It was a big dorm, basically an apartment-like complex. The laundromats were in the basement; start using them soon after I move in. I use them at night. Orphaned panties and bras are a common sight, principally in the lost and found, but also forgotten in dryers and what not. I get the urge to discretely confiscate some while doing my own laundry (an excellent alibi, kill two birds with one stone, etc). Decide best time for the mission is late at night. So I go down, coast is clear; put my laundry in the washer; look around and notice a basket full of fresh girl's dirty laundry. Like a vulture I alight and take a quick scan. I find my rancid prey and steal them quick: couple of appetizing, dainty panties. Then as I'm getting ready to leave I notice another laundry basket with yet more feminine booty to plunder. I go at it and quickly find more stale unmentionables to nab: my stash consists of four or five used knickers, which I readily put in my backpack and skid-addle. When I reach my dorm room I'm flushed, hot and bothered, and ready to sniff out my prize. But when I take them out what do I find: not once, not twice, but thrice (from the two respective baskets): *shit* that's so thick, layered, and caked that it looks like mud (but it hell doesn't smell like mud, but rather like what it is: old, sour-smelling, dried poop). I think to myself is it possible that this is a common occurrence in this supposedly bourgeois and civilized college I attend? Is it possible that it's a quotidian matter that girls either don't know or just don't bother with a half assed effort to wipe well? Doesn't so much caked on shit, in a little thin and dainty cotton panty, end up stinking to high heaven during class, lunch, cheerleading practice, whatever it easy these literally dirty-assed girls were doing with their day? I expected to find girl's dirty laundry, which I did: but hidden in those baskets was the fact that the school was full of dirty girls. Girls who it literally appeared would have been better off still wearing diapers--certainly as far as the massacre committed to their panties was concerned.

its more than that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om5AGyq71fo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhE-lXX5b6Y

>>19475072
Here's the real question, if you go back to her and she's slept with someone else would you still want her?

Do you read on holidays?

i can't concentrate for shit! idk what it is. i've been very careful about my diet avoiding as much processed shit as possible, so maybe it's something else. i literally cannot do anything. even watching a movie or playing a game. this is so fucked. not sure why my adhd is like the worst ever rn.

I wish I had my full head of hair back

>>19475344
Probably not. I treat people just like I treat myself, and I wouldn't date myself if I slept with another girl.

People can smell the depression on me, like it's pheromones or something. Several instances recently of people telling me I look sad or thin, asking me if I'm alright. I lie because I know they aren't genuinely asking, I just make a joke to try to lighten the mood. I think they can tell I'm lying but they drop the concerned act and pretend to laugh. I am tired.

>>19474227
Is there anyone else, while still very much align with and place utter belief in Christ, who was raised Protestant in America but has come to feel extensive disillusionment with how it stands? There's practically no other option since none of the Catholic churches where I live speak English, theological discrepancies aside, and the only Orthodox churches are far too far away for regular attendance to be feasible?
Has anyone else went through the same thing?

>>19474906
Almost identical thing just happened to me. She was an old friend too so I thought I could trust her. I think I'm an afterthought to every person in my life. I don't know how people can be so cruel to each other.

I've been looking at jobs, programs, and degrees to go into. It's a very challenging thing especially for a late bloomer. I am twenty-five years old. I dont have many interests other than media consumption such as reading. Well actually reading is about the only hobby I have right now. It's funny in a way too since my eyesight is a big part of why I'm blooming late.
Anyway I looked at a community college where I live. None of the programs stick out to me except for accounting and carpentry. However I was miserable at wood shop and math in high school. I barely had a C average.
One thing I've been looking into is a nautical job. I've always been interested in the sea and I have no idea. Only been fishing a handful of times in my life and have never been on a boat before. I just love nautical books and films. Not really sure if a job like that is feasible. I'm land locked.
It's cold cruel world anons.

>>19475717
https://archive.4plebs.org/trv/thread/2027815/#2030027

https://archive.4plebs.org/trv/thread/2021329/

Alaskan Commerical Fishing

>>19475730
Not certain how realistic that is or any nautical job. It seems like maritime engineer is good job from my brief search into them. No where to learn that here as far as I know.

>>19475717
Go with carpentry. I didn't consider myself to be particularly technically inclined starting out either. But, like with most things, you improve with practice. You'll thank me later. It is frustrating at times, but is incredibly rewarding.

>>19474227
I kind of want to start the Horror's Call series, but I can't decide what book to start with. (since you can read them in any order)

i just want human touch but i feel like if someone showed me affection id just be scared

>>19476163
Fuck you Akira is god-tier

>>19475230
What the fuck

Im waiting for that manic pixie girl to get me out of this shell. So far it didnt happen in 29 years.

He crossed state lines.

>>19476163
I stopped 3 episodes in Neon Genesis Evangelion because I thought it was boring.

>>19476419
first 18 episodes suck, but then it gets good

>>19476423
>just watch the children's show for 9 hours and then it gets good i swear!!!

>>19476193
I used to be afraid of touch. Like I would get super skittish when a girl put her hands on me etc. My first girlfriend would run her hands on me whenever we made out and it would make me shudder and instinctively pull away. Until this guy friend of mine used to manhandle me / basically wrestle me just to get a reaction out of me. I didn't want to let him win so eventually I trained myself to get used to the feel of him touching me and sure enough he got bored. Then I was fine with touch and came to enjoy it. Maybe not what you were talking about but it reminded me of that.

>>19476423
18 episodes is too much

>>19476425
yep that's right

i don't understand why there is so much emphasis on capitalism in modern intellectual history. economics being the main purpose of life is an insane position. morality clearly directs humanity more than anything.

I've noticed an uptick in white girls dating asian guys where I live. Not as many as the reverse scenario, but definitely more than there used to be and you can thank kpop for that. I am white but I am happy for my asian brothers.

>>19476439
Decades of constant bemoaning of "capitalism", and yet what does it yield us? I don't think I have ever once complained about capitalism in my entire life. It feels dishonest, because I can't account for how much capitalism has improved the world, and how much I daily count on it.
The other day at work I agreed to cover someone's work, so long as he makes it up to me that moment, and does me a favor. Our resident redditor chimed in, "Spoken like a true capitalist!" Why, because I negotiated something of value? Is that a problem? I don't understand these people.

To your point, I think people bemoan "capitalism" all the time, as an effigy or scapegoat, to avoid looking at their own lives.

That guy I mentioned, he's fairly young, about 23, calls himself a democratic socialist, and basically seethes every time he notices someone has more money than him, and blames "capitalism". Guess what? Not surprisingly, his life sucks. He's pussy whipped, he's broke as shit, he's definitely an alcoholic, he's like 300+ pounds, I happened to know his father used to beat him (surprise surprise, he's an atheist). So what I'm looking at is.. does he hate capitalism? Or does he hate the world?

>>19476521
I live in LA and I've noticed this, too. My guess is that it has to do more with money. Plenty of rich Chinese have moved here recently. It's easy to spot rich Chinese guy. They wear shorts and sandals, look like clueless slobs, and have basically no social skills. Then you see some bimbo hanging on his arm. Many such cases.

>>19476536
>My guess is that it has to do more with money.

Maybe in your case, though I live in my city's Koreatown and the people who live here aren't rich, in fact it's pretty blue collar, so I'm pretty sure it's because of kpop and kdramas.

>>19474244
I miss that old lump of coal, litteraly the only celebrity I respected. People who really like him are kindred spirits in a way, some people just do not understand what he's about.

>>19476538
Yeah, it is weird. My lady friend is a huge kpop/kdrama girl, and she had pussy dripping when we got this dorky Korean intern one week. I thought, whatever, that's weird. But they actually started dating for a few months. The fella was like 5'4", and looked like this mfer

>>19476439
>i don't understand why there is so much emphasis on capitalism in modern intellectual history.
Have you tried reading a book? I don't mean this sarcastically.

>>19476557
They've literally conditioned themselves to find dorky bug people attractive

>>19476566
I have read plenty. I see no reason to believe capitalism is the prime force of life and modern history. Certainly one of the defining features but not the basis for how we interpret our existence.

>>19476579
Of life surely not, but of modern history? What more importance factor has directly or indirectly shaped society in the last 200 years or so?

>>19476589
Technology in general and liberal morality. Technology is the only thing that really moves history and liberalism is the basis for why market economies are allowed to be hegemonic and imperialist as they are. Every communist country in history hit a wall when they discovered the sad truth that you can't really get rid of capital; it turns out the state controls production regardless of their ideology. Only with other moral systems can you control capital and use it for the betterment of humanity instead of enslavement (which is what liberalism really does)

>>19476597
Technology's influence in modern times can be directly attributed to capitalism: it's rapid evolution can be attributed to industrialism and its ubiquitousness to consumerist economies. As for the relation between liberalism and market economies I don't think the matter is as straightforward as you put it, but honestly it's a complicated subjected and I'm too tired to elaborate.

I just shed an inch long eyebrow hair guddam

I really suck at making big purchases (i.e. more than $100). I feel like I always make the wrong decision. At least when you buy cheap things and they're crap you don't feel so bad about it.

>>19476816
I grew up poor, and I'm exactly this way. It's always weird to me when I see coworkers online shopping just casually. I never buy anything without serious consideration. I mean, like you said, anything over $100 and you won't catch me dead making impulse purchases. I'm starting to get over it though. I've had a decently paying job for five years, and now it's just foolish to have financial anxiety when I could lose some cash and really I know it won't hurt me. Even a year ago, I accidentally dropped a $80 framed print I bought, and I swear I had chills of anxiety on and off throughout the day, when really, I could have easily gotten it fixed for around $50 (I got it really cheap to begin with anyway). Instead, I just put it in my closet and didn't take it out for like a year. Many such cases. Sad.

Any kind anons got tips on how to calm down / destress / relax. I have come close to panic attacks yesterday and today. Luckily I have managed to get some control over them before they developed into a full blown one but I really need to relax or I'm scared it will happen again.

Can anyone else not stop writing and thinking? I’m serious. I have a million things perpetually going on in my head to the point where I’ve developed insomnia and have several Google docs pages with hundreds of notes of random shit I think about and read. I don’t know whether I genuinely have something wrong with me or if it’s just a product of my severe loneliness. Obviously I want to put all this information and reflection to use one day but I’m worried it’s unhealthy to be living the way I do. It’s not normal for most people in my demographic to do this shit and I don’t know the reason.

>>19476918
Meditation or exercise? It doesn't sound like a big problem to me, but if racing thoughts are keeping you up at night something that helped me was 15 minutes of exercise in the morning.

I had one beer with dinner and it's made me depressed. My body can't handle this shit anymore.

>>19476940
I am the same way, every time I eat dinner I get depressed

fat bitch liked your photo

how to acquire this but in real life?

being feels unbearably light at the moment... books for this feel?

>>19477011
kek

>>19477004
Sleep deprivation

>>19474464
wtf? they're just uncomfortable you haven't contracted the same brain disease they did because your refusal to get a girlfriend is proof of skepticism that they made the right decision - how could someone else be alone? i'm not any happier together now than I was before, but how could someone else be alone? You are smugly attacking their lifestyle with your choice, and you are being punished by not being your ex-best friend's man of honour

>>19476940
>>19476947
I'm the same way, I got depressed

>>19474515
Maybe something like this would work: a omen about the end of the world comes, omen says noone is worthy, and then the novel shifts to a description and exploration on the various groups of people and how they deal with it or how they seek redemption. Also unconclusive ending before the end of the world

Just about every night I have a sex dream and each night it is a different girl I know IRL. It's always different each night, as though my brain is cycling through them. It's been long enough now that I think my brain has run out because last night I dreamt about fucking a friend of mine's mom. Terrified to see where my brain goes next.

I can't sleep without either alcohol or masturbation

The porn where they pretend to be your girlfriend is so fucked up. It really makes me feel like I'm in a dystopia. I like to get really high and watch them and make myself insanely depressed. In fact I often get high by myself just to watch porn with the intention of making myself feel fucked up. I like the feeling, I don't know what it is. I don't know, it takes me to some other place which is hard to describe. But it feels very visceral, I suppose.

I want a threesome with a cute girl and twink. The twink and I will spitroast the girl then I fuck the twink as I make out with the girl.

>>19477185
what the heck is wrong with you?

A lot of people discuss young people, and how they increasingly live at home with their parents. The implication is that they don’t have a choice, that this is an economic problem, and there’s a degree to which they’re correct. But to me, what it really speaks to is the fact that there actually just isn’t anywhere to go, nothing to do, which is a far worse problem to have.

>>19477564
>anywhere to go, nothing to do
In what sense?

>>19477185
same but with kpop
it's down to preferring fantasy to reality

>>19477185

>>19476528
>The other day at work I agreed to cover someone's work, so long as he makes it up to me that moment, and does me a favor.
You're a soulless redditor bug

Does anyone read psychology? I've been wanting to get into gestalt.

fucking degenerates

>>19475230
Kek

Nice prose too

if lol stands for 'laugh out loud,' does kek stand for 'kaugh eut koud?'

I just found out I'm ethnically American. My ancestors were born in the US.

>>19474227
Why are you using the same fucking image again?
And no link to the previous thread either.

>>19478365
Nobody gives a shit about your autism. Get a fucking life.

>>19478530
This thread can’t do any little thing to legitimate itself. It shouldn’t be here.

I guess it’s a desire to separate itself from the porn/anime board it’s attached to. But get it together people.

>>19478539
God damn, get a fucking life.

>>19478539
Christ, how does someone get this autistic over a thread of all things?

>>19478197
Kek comes from World of Warcraft. There is a language filter to keep players of opposite factions from communicating and "Lol" gets turned into "Kek"

>>19478642

>>19478642
It comes from Korean players in Starcraft which is what World of Warcraft was referencing.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/kek#English

I never wanted to be a creature of habit or routine.

>>19478756
ure never gonna improve at anything then

>>19477628
In every sense? What is there to do really? Get this or that job? Increasingly, that’s not working out. It’s revealed not that there are economic problems but that aside from the economic question, there was really nothing to do anyway. Everyone is just serving a system, making more or less money. That’s all life is now, and there are no alternatives.

>>19478762
That’s not true. Consistency and routine are not necessarily the same thing. The difference is a matter of timing. That’s what makes routine. A man can practice something daily, without having a particular routine.

i think about leaving you every day.
i wonder when i will, i know i will. i won't send out signals for help - and i won't sound any alarms, i will just fade.

>>19478770
and how many writers did this? what ones? how many people get good at anything without building a habit of it?

>>19478791
We aren't together.

>>19478799
Why would any of that matter?

>>19478799
You will never be a writer.

>>19478791
sounds cowardly

>>19478833
>nobody has ever succeeded at getting better at anything without building a habit of it
>B-but that's not true, you can improve at things without habit!
pick one

>>19478932
i have no desire to be a writer

>>19478957
I never said either of those.

>>19478971
you did

>>19478971
You said,
>That's not true
To my claim that you aren't going to improve at something without building a habit.

I was actually expecting you to be able to name at least a few writers, because I am genuinely curious and there has GOT to be plenty, surely

>>19478697
Didn't lel come before kek?
K is right next to L on the keyboard. People used to use pwn as slang, which also started life as a common typo.

wow virgil abloh died. wasn't really a fan of his shit, but still bummer.

Why are the governments of the world not tackling climate change with the urgency it needs? Surely they don't think they'll be able to evacuate to Mars or bunkers.

It was my yesterday birthday, I invited a couple of friends and we had a mini celebration, but the day after I feel very anxious. The celebration was fine, a bit more quiet than usual, with less drinking, and everyone said they enjoyed themselves.

Yet I'm quite anxious today and interpreting it completely differently, that they didn't enjoy themselves that much and that maybe we weren't as good friends as I thought if they can't tell me, or that it's my fault somehow etc.
Interesting sidenote, it's a feeling I've been trying to capture for a while in writing, this racing anxiety in a calm outside demeanor, completely logical, but pessimistic in it's conclusions. But right now I have no desire or patience to write about it, I just want it to stop.

>>19479068
I honestly think they either don't realise how severe the consequences will be (at which point they'll be crying omg how could we have known)

OR they don't care because it's hard for them to care about something in the future that mostly won't affect them and isn't endangering their selfish goals. Sidenote: I do believe that most people that work in the public eye, especially on positons of power such as in politics, have some sort of selfish disorder, be it sociopathy, psychopath or just narcissism.

>>19479068
because a government isn't a person, and especially not a person with perfect longterm rationality

My entire life consists of babysitting schizophrenics, borderline personality disorder people, and assorted neurotics and histrionics who identify as "special" and "unappreciated geniuses" but who always need a designated driver father figure to bail them out of their neurotic messes at the end of the day. The only reason I can understand, forgive, and get on with these people is because I am mentally ill too, but somehow I am just lucid and responsible enough that has put me in the position of being their appointed babysitter for life.

I'm starting to really develop a hatred for "underachieving genius" pieces of shit who think their mental illnesses make them special and who sit around replaying the same movie in their heads about how maligned they are and how they coulda been somebody if only blah blah blah blah.

I really like you /lit/friends

>>19479124
>I honestly think they either don't realise how severe the consequences will be
I feel they do, because the idea that climate change could lead to the collapse of civilization or even human extinction is floated around at all the climate change conferences, like COP26.

>hey don't care because it's hard for them to care about something in the future that mostly won't affect them and isn't endangering their selfish goals.
I can see this with neoliberal politicians or with corporate CEOs and the like, but how about nationalist powers like China or Russia which care about (perhaps too generous but still) their nations/people?

>>19479144
This might be the truth of it, that we are barreling towards catastrophe with no one in command.

It's sort of depressing desu. Every time I try to do anything the thought of climate change comes to mind.
>I should learn to draw
Why bother with such frivolous things, global warming means I don't have the luxury to focus on non-survival related things
>I should work hard at work, try to make a career
Why bother, civilization is going to collapse within my lifetime

If I could, I'd move my family and I to a bunker stocked with multiple lifetimes of food, water, and other things, a mile below the Nevada desert where we could weather the storm.

pretty fucking stir-crazy. I went to the store yesterday and there was a new worker there. I couldn't tell the gender, they were sort of leaning into a fridge. face looked nice, couldn't really tell the build. I think I stared, probably pretty hard, because _he stopped what he was doing and looked kind of worried and walked by me looking straight at me saying "Hi". Thing is, it is very likely that I was muttering something like "if that is a female then GOD DAMN", and it is quite likely that i did so quite loudly. I actually have no idea if I did or not, often nowadays I can't tell if I'm talking or thinking. Luckily there's another store.

Basically isolating more or less completely while getting over an ex + a lot of mental illness and weird as shit all at once. had a therapist but it didn't work out. now it's me and God baby, and I am not sure I'm stable, but I have time, I'm not doing anything. I think maybe I should get out and do something but I kind of don't want to. I want to read and cry all day week in week out, and pretend I'm talking to her.

>>19479201
Thanks friend

>>19479124
do you really think if ruling class wanted to play down climate change you would even hear of it? it would be a conspiracy theory like "peak oil" was.

>>19478365
I'm gonna kick some dirt in your eyes, bitch.

>>19474244
Trever Moore was a loss too. A natural born comedian. Even his quirky, boyish appearance and affectations was intrinsically comedic.

>>19479068
It's bad for business and we don't have a viable sustainable model that can quickly shunted in to replace the fossil fuel system.

I have a femdom fetish (not getting pegged but getting teased heavily by a woman, denied putting it in, made fun of, etc. probably stemming from this admiration for teacher figures and being an unruly kid so getting reprimanded by big-honker giantesses at the time)
And I have this absolute titless tomboy friend who I have a love/hate relationship with. You see, we've known each other for years now, and she was friends with one of my exes. Long story short, things fell apart with the ex and the two of us got real close over how bad I took it - she had her own thing going on at the time, family tragedy, so we bonded over trauma, but nothing sexual. She's like 6-7 years older than me and started messing with religion heavy, and I'm a happy go lucky psychedelics retard who likes frying his brain every once in a while and not overly ambitious.
So we have this strange dynamic where we're heading towards a sexual collision that I believe would blow both of our brains out and heal all the trauma either of us ever went through.
But we never quite get there.
We always have some sort of a fight, and she being older than myself always tries to humiliate me in some way, to deny me from hitting on her because duh, I'm 6 years younger. A lot of mileage to cover life wise.
And whenever she touches me accidentally she goes into a full panic mode. So skittish it's crazy.
In any case we meet up by life circumstances once or twice a year, and every time this process goes and she humiliates me this shit ties into my femdom fetish and I get even more batshit about her to the point where I'm constantly assaulted by thoughts of having sex with her, and any time I'm with another woman just thinking about her is enough to literally slime the poor victim I'm with to the point of bewilderment and fear at the quantity of coom.

>>19479318
nuclear energy

My mind is like a gun.

>>19478977
I never said the things you greentexted.

>>19478986
I’m sure there are those who that is true for, but how would I know about them? What would’ve been written? “So and so never had a routine”? How would that even make it into a biography.

>>19478539
lmao sperging out about the retarded general again because everyone turned on you when you for trying to make your own threads and attacking people over the dumbest shit. you are genuinely deranged

ravaged by mental illness. ravaged. will not recover. cry every time it gets to

"Maлo ктo ocтaлcя в cвeтлoй пaмяти,
B тpeзвoм yмe дa c твepдoй pyкoй в cтpoю,
B cтpoю."
-
"Few who have kept bright memory (I have lost a LOT of my memory)
With sober mind
and firm hand in the ranks, in the ranks"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuPX8mjeb-E

the rest too I guess.. listened maybe 50 times the last 5 days or so.
"Cильныe дa cмeлыe
Гoлoвы cлoжили в пoлe в бoю."
-
"Strong and bold
Their heads were laid in the field in battle. "

>>19479331
It's too radioactive politically. All it takes is one nasty meltdown for the public to turn against it.

>>19479508
вoт тaк

>>19479508
literally laid on the floor crying today, and it came into my head
"тepпeливыe пoд плeть,
Пoд плeть."
-
"patient under the whip,
Under the whip. "
it's not even my first language

Nice but I don't speak Ukrainian.

>>19479558
there are subtitles

>>19479413
>I never said the things you greentexted.
i didn't greentext anything?

are the words violent thug redundant with each other

>>19479661
they give a certain cadence. also you can be violent without being a thug imo

>>19479669
yeah i like the rhythm of the words together but definitions of the word thug often include violent/belligerent

there is no possibility that I could ever deserve to live. I destroyed someone I loved. I destroyed them thoroughly, intentionally, systematically, over time, out of hatred which was.. confused. it was a long time ago but it doesn't go away. there is nothing I can do for them now. my hatred has finally subsided. there is nothing I can do. this all just happened, I did it.. that's all there is to say. I destroyed them intentionally, and they were destroyed.

A song of vestiges

Words of rosaries repeated vainly,
Voleries of birds imprisoned daily,
The marsh of bitterness its lonely reeds,
The winter harsh where summer must recede,
No more will moor and fen have fairies sing
Their songs of yen of lore from yore of king
Nor of Ring or even of the darkness
Noxious nor of friendship nor of fondness,
Urges fiery each flame forgotten,
The dirges dire themselves will die forgotten,
Rot and wrath shall drear also in that year,
I speak of notes forgotten of the lyre,
I speak of words forgotten such as “sere”
Naught and hath shall draw near into one sphere,

All and one and naught each made a vestige.

>>19474930
This sounds like a early/mid-twenties relationship. I'm glad the relationship ended up being an opportunity for you to grow. Often people move onto the next one because they're afraid of being alone, and they never acknowledge their faults or change for the better.

Thinking of skipping a course again just cause it involves everyone having to talk in front of the class
I really dont wanna start skipping again but am terrified of speaking in public
Why am I so fucking anxious about this shit fuck

>>19479897
Frater what do you think of my question in this thread
>>19478823

Do normal people have times where they just feel like shit for a whole day for no reason or is that more of a depressed person thing?

>>19474404
i wish i could live in dreams 4eva

really want to hook up with my ex again. wondering how i'd even go about this, as i was the one who refused the last few times she asked me to come over

I’ve had a really hard time maintaining friendships and now I’m alone.

>>19480310
One of the worst things you could ever do

Mediocre sex lasts 5 minutes, sleazy feelings last a long time, and having the power over her that you rejected her lasts forever

>>19480310
ew, get some self respect

I need to stick to my diet

>the map of the city of Ancient Corinth on Wikipedia has a bird shit on it

Not to sound like an edgelord but I think about killing myself pretty often. My life is empty and it really seems like the world is going to hell. I'd never go through with it as I'm a massive coward/pussy who cries a lot. Sometimes I wish Thanos or somebody would just snap his fingers and let everything cease to be. No pain, no agony, just nonexistence

*trying to bring a twitter user down from panicattack*
shhh shhh there there it'll be alright. you WILL get to murder the hundreds of millions of ppl that've wronged u <3

I studied the Greeks and all I learned was this:
https://youtu.be/CjytAc-quyI

>>19474227
i wish i was a better writer, but i'm not a writer at all. writing is something i think about doing, it's not something i've done in years.

"man is created out of haste"

have you ever fallen in love with a fictional character?

Should edgelords start with the greeks?
Seems kinda milquetoast at times

>>19474403

You lack the Millennial tincture.

Years stack on years. I'm growing older, but I don't feel like im growing up, only growing "away" from what I was. I keep not respecting my duties to people, to my familiy and friends, and to my uni. I don't care about engineering at all anymore. I spend all of my free time reading philosophy, drawing, and writing down my thoughts. I want to start a book club, but my friends don't read enough for this. Oh well, I guess this is my life, and that this too will pass. Too young to give up on this world as a illusion and go monkmode, but I'm too old to still enjoy my life as I used to do.

>>19479068
governments traded away most of the substance of power in the 1980s and 90s, now they cower in fear of "the market".

>>19474227
Is it that Marx was right in describing capitalism, but not in prescription for (synthesizing) overcoming it? The lumpen masses are so horrifying in their ignorance and fear, they cause me to feel nihilistic. I even question the nature of Marx’s theory. Those in the end Marx did say the revolution was not guaranteed. Either the working class succeeds, or there is a mutual destruction of both classes. It seems the wisest action is to prepare for societal collapse. By whatever outcome is reached.

>>19480842
>Is it that Marx was right in describing capitalism,
Nope.

>tfw my parents just tried to gaslight and insult me out of doomerism

yeah, sure, I'll get right on that when something happens

>>19480842
https://jacobinmag.com/2019/01/karl-marx-engels-capitalism-political-economy
He was right about some things, but solutions are wrong.

>>19480842
it’s okay to admit you’re a counter-revolutionary

>>19480842
maybe its time to let go of your hilariously naive and childish romanticism of mass movements and look at more grounded ways to help your people individually and collectively reach their potential instead going all in on bat shit insane utopian fantasies based on the asinine notion of billions of people voluntarily operating in perfect harmony

>>19480924
>bat shit insane utopian fantasies based on the asinine notion of billions of people voluntarily operating in perfect harmony
i.e. capitalism as described by neoclassical economists

Some dude on Reddit/conspiracy claims he knows of an all-girls school in upstate NY that was secretly taken over by space parasites. He says the wife of a janitor who worked at the school ?
(until mysteriously disappearing) told him her husband had seen terrible things at school. He'd seen things that were so abhorrent to his human mind that he'd repressed them until it was too late. He said it all started one day while he was working in one of the boiler rooms and happened to peer into a vent--for he often sought out the fresh air that wafted from them. He said he saw a girl walk into a bathroom stall, where, unbeknownst to her, a hideous life form, unlike any he'd before seen, was lying in wait. The worm-like entity became erect and projected a syringe-like proboscis, with which it repeatedly jabbed the unsuspecting girl, causing her to become unconscious, after which it slithered into one of her orifices and seemingly took over her mind and body: for when the girl recovered her eyes were entirely blank and her comportment at first robotic. The janitor, after observing a rash of similar attacks, surmised that the creatures pretend to be the girls they've invaded by accessing their memories and then imitating their normal behavior. From that point on the creatures, according to the ever observant janitor, began to prey on more and more girls at the school when no one was watching: mercilessly stinging them and inserting themselves into them. Eventually the entire school consisted of parasitized girls who then went on to replicate the invasion in other nearby schools (the janitor was part of a fraternity of janitors who'd noticed similar strange stirrings in the bathrooms of other area girl schools). Most of the gruesome attacks occurred in restrooms, but not all. Finally a scientist from MIT who happened to be in the area stumbled upon one of the tentacled creatures roaming free in a park, accidentally released by one of the girls when she was micturating behind some bushes. He took the creature to his lab and concluded it couldn't be possibly of this world, he also suspected the creature was of a hostile species and alerted authorities. The authorities put out an alert to the local public, but it was too late, as the parasites had extended to other towns' schools. It's surmised the parasitized girls are working telepathically in unison to take over more and more territory by taking over more and more girls until all school girls planet-wide are working for the mysterious entity that has mastery over the parasitic worms controlling them. The creature plans to have its army of hundreds of millions of girls secretly seduce the most powerful government officials of their respective nations and thus disarm them all through blackmail in order to take control of their respective governments and install a unitary world dictatorship held together by the latter's addiction to a viscous fluid emitted by the parasitized girls that tastes and smells like...

>>19474244
Norm has literally subtly Neil ended the whole world with his comedy. Not to mention the people who overtly know are grateful for him in various capacities.
An inspirational guy.

>>19474515
Crab nigger mentality.
Call Hollywood for your payout.

>>19480963
hot

>>19480947
I really dont care enough about liberalism to argue with you

The jews did. 9/11

There was a bunch of authors I was noting down to read later and I skipped one and regret not remembering who it was. If I remember correctly he was deemed sort of a strange mix between Spengler and Kaczynski, but with the twist that he saw a future for humanity and saw technology advancing more as a natural progression of civilization. He was pro technological advancement, or so it sounded.
Can't, for the life of me, remember who it was.

>>19474359
This definitely reminds me of something but it’s absolutely garbage.

>>19476576
It’s a natural progression and part of the the general Jewish subversion all western nations are subject to atm.
At least it’s Korean bros getting something out of it.

>>19476618
This post is structured as absolute comedic gold.

>>19481027
You are aware K-pop enjoys some popularity in Israel, right?

I see this with LGBT and pro-Black stuff (everything from political struggles to porn) too. Anons think the Jews are promoting it but unless you think the Jews are getting high off of their own supply then it's absurd.

>>19480924
KeK.

>>19481039
>thinks that would bare any consequence on my statement
>even if the cia actually cares about the little details of state of the Jews there
It’s a tragic story.
It’s all 100% about just subversion for its own sake, messing with scales, fucking with people.
There needs to be another inquisition.

I’m interested in physical fitness and strength but not in the gym or lifting weights.

>>19481123
just dive into it, it doesn't take long for it to go from a chore to an actually pleasurable activity

>>19481146
Dive into what?

>>19481171
ur mum

In order to pay back the debt that I owe to this world for how undeservedly well I've been treated, I must be good at something at the very least.
Yet I cannot shake the feeling that I will never be good at anything. Maybe mediocre at best. Of course, a valid argument would be that getting good requires dedication and effort, which means that it is not unattainable. But an equally valid point is the fact that because it's already permeated through my soul for so long it testifies for a grave and ultimately lethal character flaw that defines all those who fail. Those who just cry and wallow in their rotten filth, getting drunk with melodies of sly laughter. Children who chose not to man up and bear the weight.
So if I cannot be good, i do not deserve to live. The world does not need more superfluous individuals who have built imaginary castle without laying a single brick on the concrete. Bludgeoning it is.

my hair is all fucked up

>>19474227
I've gotten progressively stupider and unimaginative. When I started college I read and studied constantly and had a vibrant imagination. My focus wasn't perfect but I could spend an entire day at the library just reading and writing notes. Now I've become the NPC meme. There is nothing inside my head. Even when I get into some serious studying my concentration is 1/10th of what it used to be & my thoughts lack originality. There's this massive disconnect within me. As though I have zero connection to myself. When I recall my own past I feel no connection to the person I was they are a stranger to me. I genuinely don't understand what happened.

A poem in dedication to William Blake (happy birthday)

I saw a dream what could it be,
And that I saw what angels see,
And piping down the valley wild
A man whose soul was ne’er beguiled,

He wandered through charter’d street
Where charter’d Thames does run sweet
Passinf a path flowers bore
He entered Love’s chapel door.

There he sang of elder eternity
Binding with stone the sight of human eye,
Bound by the wine-presses of human pain,
Each chained to laws unborn except by brain,


Al this but one revelation
Revealed through imagination;
“The death of Jesus set me free:
Then what have I to do with thee?”

>>19481294
Whoops

I saw a dream what could it be,
And that I saw what angels see,
And piping down the valley wild
A man whose soul was ne’er beguiled,

He wandered through charter’d street
Where charter’d Thames does run sweet
Passing a path flowers bore
He entered Love’s chapel door.

There he sang of elder eternity
Binding with stone the sight of human eye,
Bound by the wine-presses of human pain,
Each chained to laws unborn except by brain,


Al this but one revelation
Revealed through imagination;
“The death of Jesus set me free:
Then what have I to do with thee?”

>>19481280
same thing happened to me and the decline seems to match up with the coof panic. idk what it is. could be that i stopped running and never got back in the habit.

Oh Yuuko,
Wrap my keratinized cock in seaweed and chomp down on the shaft as if it were a sushi roll.
Plunge a complimentary bamboo chopstick into my urethra and sit your striped pantsu on my face as I blindly pick the splinters out while huffing your oriental ass fumes like an anesthetic.
Pee directly into my mouth and don't let me spit or swallow until I copy a Mishima poem of your choice from memory word-for-word with a mangaka dip pen in its original language.
Give yourself a bubble tea enema and have me sip the remains from your rectum with a reusable metal straw.
Fly back to Fukuoka, use my credit card to cover the airfare, and never speak to me again.

I can’t read without drinking a soda; it’s taking a toll on my teeth

>>19481280
>dropped out may of this year
>quit my summer job as a pizza delivery boy the second august rolled around
>spent about three hours as a dishwasher before to sneak out the back door after taking the trash out
it's three months after being a full-fledged NEET and everything feels like a distant dream now. everything's like a semi-lucid nightmare i can't wake up from. i often find myself widening my eyes like a cartoon character until my eyelids feel strained as if that would heighten my awareness, but everything outside of inflicting physical pain with a razor blade is completely ineffectual at making me feel as if i'm not a stranger in my own brain.
it's probably a mere matter of adaptation. without anything to do, without employers to impress, without tests to stress over, consciousness itself atrophies, just as an athlete's musculature in a coma would.

>>19481280
I feel the same my imagination used to be much better, maybe I'm being conditioned by society. I have to get back to that child like state of mind.

Modification to the Blake poem.

I saw a dream what could it be,
And that I saw what angels see,
And piping down the valley wild
A man whose soul was ne’er beguiled,

He wandered through charter’d street
Where charter’d Thames does run sweet,
Passing a path flowers bore
He entered Love’s chapel door.

There he sang of elder eternity
Binding with stone the sight of human eye,
Binding with the wine-presses of human pain,
Each chain a law unborn except by brain,


All this but one revelation
Revealed through imagination;
“The death of Jesus set me free:
Then what have I to do with thee?”

>>19474227
Am tired.
I miss when I had friends
And I haven't read or written in a while.

Okay /lit/, I'm finally going to pull the trigger and buy a prostitute. Six years of dating apps and club hopping have gotten me literally nowhere, and I'm so horny I don't think I'll be able to function if I don't have sex soon.

Only question is where do I go to find a prostitute? Nothing comes up online, but maybe I'm not seeking the right channels. If it helps I'm located in LA, so I imagine buying one can't be that difficult.

>>19481555
you tried for six years to get laid and didn't once?

>>19481562
>t.

>>19476895
start running or do push ups until you're winded, in pain, or (ideally) both whenever faggy urges like that arise
that or have friends, not like i know much about that though

>>19481562
Yep, I started trying to have sex seriously when I was 18 (my senior year of high-school), had no success in college, and after being in the working world for close to two years I see my prospects rapidly diminishing. I really don't know what I've been doing wrong, I'm by no means ugly and I'm good at conversation with girls, I'm just the quintessential failed normalfag.

Are there websites that can help one find escorts in one's area? Would duly appreciate it, thanks

>>19474906
>>19474933
Can't say for direct experience, but I do know women as this exist, they use you as a platform then fuck off only to eventually return, on and off over the years. Just tell the bitch no.

I've been reading a lot of Fascist writers, and that which has been ghost-written for Fascist leaders in the past. I find myself resonating strongly with many of the ideas discussed by them and wonder if I am being radicalized without my knowing it? I do feel a great deal of anger and hate at times,at what I see and read in life. This is not on social media but in life and in the broader society.

That said i'm doing quite well, I've a good job, a beautiful woman in my life and are about to start a family and buy a house. I don't feel hate towards everybody but I do feel it quite strongly at what could be scapegoated or blamed for the current situation. It does seem to fall along ethnic lines but not entirely.

Am I becoming radicalized? I feel a keen longing for a homogeneous society in both appearance, culture and values. I've grown to dislike the concepts of liberty, civil rights and such when five years ago I would of been a strong libertarian.

Any recommendations on reading for this?

I want to write a book. A cohesive nonfiction book and critique. Because of my background I feel my argument is more interesting than anything else on the market. The problem is that I am not in school for literature, political science or English and I have no credentials to write this book. So it probably won't ever be published and my hundreds of pages of notes I have written over the years are probably worthless.

>>19474563
these threads are analagous to american suburbs; the middle class escapes the niggerization of their cities and here we find refuge from the /r9k/ newfag hordes

>>19481450
Your story sounds similar to mine. I actually currently work at a pizza place. I'm still in school but I can relate to what you mean about atrophy. I'm extremely socially isolated and detached from everyone.

>>19481644
Is it about telepathy?

>>19474227

I hate blacks and jews.

I know this isn't /pol/, but I like your vaporware picture.

Year 12 of NEETdom. I still don't regret dropping out from school (and society) but I wish there was something I could do that felt meaningful. Everything I've tried feels "fake", if that makes any sense, as if I'm lacking some crucial component. I suspect it's the sense of authenticity that comes from the approval of others. Is there a way to get past that?

>>19474591
>evening jog, about to cross a relatively vacant suburban road
>left lane is empty, an old civic on the right lane breaks before the crosswalk
>about halfway across the street before the empty f-150 behind it swerves onto the shoulder and speeds off
>get a glimpse at the obese, self-satisfied mutt in his oversized tin coffin before he accelerates to no less than 15 above the speed limit
>backpedal from mortal danger as the guy in the sedan slams the horn to the scent of burnt rubber

lesson: industrial society is so far gone that people are willing to be a foot short of manslaughter for the tiniest illusion of autonomy

>>19481725
flip a coin between domestic terrorism or patricide

I like to think that Heaven, if it is akin to the Elysium of Greek mythology, is something like this image. I like to imagine it is a place in an eternal autumn, with a crisp, cool climate. The leaves will be ever-red, ever-yellow. I will be with loved ones for eternity, but I will also have space for solitude. Things will be tranquil, peaceful. I will have forever to indulge in my interests and hobbies. Pain, sickness, fear, anxiety will cease to exist, and I'll enjoy fall forever.

I am more aware of my impending death than I have been in days past. Perhaps "impending" is a bit melodramatic, but perhaps not. 50 or so years will pass in a blink of an eye, and then my death will arrive. It is not as far away a thing as it seems. Does that distress me? A little. A lot, actually. The seconds slip from my hands like pearls into the ocean, and I will never be able to find them once they are out of my grasp.

My faith, Sikhism, tells me that after death, one either is reincarnated or merges with God. Both options I find scary. Both strip me of my individuality, my personality, something I cherish. Does it make sense to wish your religion was wrong? I feel that way when it comes to this. I wish Virgil's underworld was reality, that perhaps there was a was to escape the cycle of birth and death with your personality intact. Or maybe it could be that those personalities that we have lost in our cycles of birth, life, and death are not truly lost, but only forgotten while we inhabit this mortal form. When we slip off this form, we get them back. I could be content with that.

I just hope, if it possible, to end up in Elysium, in the land of always autumn.

>>19481631
Look man, if you permit me be a faggot for a second.
Radicalization isn't necessarily bad. In fact, I'd rather not assign it value because I have no involvement with anything even discerning power, so I don't care.
But I'm going on a tangent, don't worry man, radicalizing into an ideology the state at large doesn't want you to isn't going to hurt if you are careful. Just try to stay away from cancers and keep your way. If you are dissatisfied with the way society is, you are dissatisfied with the way society is.
On another note, "Deradicalization" is code for "Getting you into the ideology I want you to believe in". Because language is a very funny (and complex) thing, not even talking about it itself, though that's included in it, but how we use it.

>>19481666
Then what is the equivalent of the high-end mega house neighborhood?

>>19481631
consider the following: do you consider it "radicalization" and a bad thing that shouldn't happen when you read other literature and nod and say "yea that makes sense" or whatever? or is the problem that you are specifically conditioned to have a knee-jerk reaction towards specific things? do you feel like "radicalized" is good language to describe your thoughts when you read such texts, or has language like "radicalization" and subsequent associations been used as a psychological weapon against you?

>>19481793
having friends

>>19481745
It's not industrial society as much as it is humans, industrial society only compounds on the problem by giving most humans with enough resources and basically all semi-established people in the first world access to a hunk of metal that can go at very high speeds and kill anyone caught in its mighty way.
Yes, I am salty because every time I need to cross a street anywhere important I am completely subordinate to the fucking hunks of metal, and yes, I've almost gotten killed trying to cross a highway because I'm autistic. Nothing bad happened to anyone involved so thank god for that. To be fair its also partly my fault for being a dumb faggot and not crossing the road properly, but still.
Also concerning your picrel, the only reason people basedjak for the more expensive cool shit is that they are status goods. That and the weird logic of more expensive=Higher quality, which I guess was true once upon a time, but not now, oh not now.

>>19481869
terrible.

>>19481686
No it’s about historical decadence

Been board hopping to waste time and found >>>/tv/159866307
I forget how infantile most people's ideas on the god debate are.

>>19481590
eros. rubmaps. use common sense.

I am thinking of going back to school at 23 for second bachelor's degree in nursing after not being able to find work with my first degree. I feel sort of frustrated as I'll probably have to take a lot of prerequisites and I'll be 25 when I graduate.

I was working as a waiter and the money was good but I felt like a failure. School was awful for me socially and COVID greatly affected my last two years. I feel a bit robbed of "college" to be frank. I find myself thinking about going back a lot.

Guess I'm just venting. I'd like to be moving towards a goal but I'm still waiting on acceptances. Feels bad to be in this limbo state. I used to wish I could get a job with my degree but now I'm not even use I'd want to sit at a desk anymore. Maybe having to move back home is just getting me down a bit.

I don't even like to read or watch movies or go to the gym anymore. I just browse and complete job listings and look at graduate or second degree programs. I don't really know what to do next and no one can give me advice. Part of my feels like I missed the ship for having a "normal" life.

I look at people I went to school with and they're now getting their doctorates, my friends are a high paying jobs in their field, girls I vaguely knew are in master's programs. I know it's not a comparison game and I'm still young but I'm feeling a bit discouraged.

finally quitting my job that I had for about 2 years now. Just a few more days and I'll be resting and doing the things that I love. Can't wait honestly

>>19474227
I just realized this website functions as a political propaganda platform on every board and is probably under control of shill groups from discord and the likes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPnUoBGykss

>>19481984
Everything can be used as a propaganda platform if used in a certain way. Especially a forum with terrible moderation when it concerns shit that won't get them shut down/in jail. But to be fair, maybe the FBI does run /b/

>>19481984
And yes, definitely.

The bakkerfags are having another of their discord raids on /sffg/. Don't know why mods won't do anything.

Family thinks I'm a schizo who needs meds but I'm just a Jesus freak.

>>19482160
Define Jesus freak.

>>19482160
Also, the type of outsider behavior doesn't matter, the compliance medication must be taken

>>19482173
>>19482176
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbB0QrBIs9k

>>19481950
I'm in a very similar boat, going back to school at 25 to pursue something more vocational after not being able to get a job in my initial degree. I'll be 28 when I graduate, but I'm excited because I feel much more directed and fingers crossed I'll be able to go straight into a job.

I know how you feel but believe me, once you actually get to 25 you'll realise how young you still are. Honestly most of my friends didn't begin to get their life together until they were 25, so to be finished a nursing degree by that age you'll be in a real good position. I'm sure you'll start to feel more confident in yourself once you get into the swing of things. Best of luck anon!

People discourage alcohol for nofap but honestly I feel less horny when I'm somewhat intoxicated

The mainstream left have been taken over by radlib woketards who use morality in order to control people. And the politicians themselves are neoliberals who encourage the idpol over class analysis because this pleases their financial backers.

There is no major difference between a mainstream republican or democrat besides cultural wedge issues. The far left is basically frozen out of American politics.
Communism has been dead since 1991.

The far right are buffoons who dont realize that fascism is not traditionalist, it is futurist. Hitler didnt want to go back to the past, he wanted to burn everything to the ground and build a new order. the far right are too concerned with culture war and only single out Jews for the moral crimes of capital.

Basically the only option now is to become a landian accelerationist, a stirnerite individualist, or an uncle ted an prim. Some might take the opium of religion and spirituality.

>>19474227
I can't stop laughing at this image

>>19474227
The good of much prosperity and much mates and light and the gods and goodness idea: Thing I like and what you should be doing
The bad slave poo poo demon evil idea of darkness and pain and suffering and no mates and scarcity: You shouldn't do it, it's bad and I don't like it and you need to stop doing it right now, you are bad thing if you keep believing it and doing it.
There I invented a whole new framework philosophy whatever.

>>19482519
Now, some more angry statements.
>See, humans are higher beings with a higher purpose and superior abilities to animals, and the idea that a lot of our actions and social interactions are determined by base impulses and group dynamics dating back millions of years to a previous time is preposterous.
>You don't agree? Heh, I bet you are poor, weak, ugly, and don't have sex.

Sneed has infected my mind

>>19482548
>LOOK FELLOW MONKES I MADE X CHARACTER MAKE THE BAD EMOTIONS, AND LOOK BAD AND ANGRY.
>LOOK I MADE HIM UGLY
>YOU HAVE TO HATE HIM. HATE HIM NOW.

>>19482570
>People think differently than ME?
>Clearly a malevolent entity has clouded their judgment for them to disagree with me.
>Clearly some sort of nebulous organization with all-pervasive power has INDOCTRINATED and BRAINWASHED them to believe the bad things and disagree with THE TRUTH.
>Clearly they are demonic intrinsically evil inhuman entities that must be killed on sight for disagreeing with my ideas.

>>19482594
To be fair, this is greatly skewed because of the internet.
On the other hand.
Give a man a mask and he'll show you his real self.

>>19482274
Same for me. Alcohol just acts as a sleeping agent in my case.

>>19482594
>>19482570
>>19482548
>>19482519
This, but unironically

>>19482687
What's the irony about it. We all do these things. This happens, without a shred of irony.

>>19482698
I am just being a retard with a chip on his shoulder trying to strip them to the barest (And least appealing to be fair) that I can. But I say the barest, bluntest, is often times not very appealing.

>>19474227
Lord hath sent me on Earth to water a desert with my body fluids.

I've told myself I'll cut down on porn, or rather mindless browsing porn from next year. I hope I can do it.

>>19482594
>must be killed on sight for disagreeing with my ideas.
>ideas
>mind illusions for referencing reality
>think the reference is more real than reality

>>19482606
>Give a man a mask and he'll show you his real self.
I like this, very true. I should act like this all the time (not a joke)

>>19482786
best to log off, and start working out
don't do no fap, just jack off with out porn, use your mind
when you feel horney use that as fuel to talk to woman(or who ever)
if your going to cut down, set a goal like 2 times a week or something (or what ever is appropriate for you.)
best to you Anon

Most jobs, this one especially, are absolutely insufferable.

did the gamestopers win?

theory is antithetical to class consciousness

>>19482851
Thank you anon. I started exercising 5 months back actually, only I have a sole pain right now so I'm waiting to recover.
It still bugs me how much I spend mindless browsing porn, almost 4 to 6 hours just slips away.

I think one of the many reasons there are no good authors right now and why there necessarily must be no good authors right now is because of how infantile the culture is. Infantile working environments are especially to blame.

>>19483229
>>19483229
>>19483229
>>19483229
>>19483229

>>19474227
Being and Time really pissing me off right now

>>19481950
I'm starting school for the first time at 23. Don't know what there is to feel like a failure about, life is long bro. We'll be ok.

>>19483232
Too early.

>>19484111
Nice trips.

>>19482562
So has pepe. Delete them. Delete the damn meemees

>>19484111
dont wanna risk some schizo rushing a shitty OP then sperging out at anyone that posts an alternative

>>19484136
We know it’s you butters.

>>19481950
life is the waiting room bro. life is zeno's paradox, you are always between where you were and where you want to be.
NEWS FLASH: never nobody likes anything ever when it’s happening ever. never nobody has ever arrived anywhere and been happy ever. this hasn't happened and MRIs will prove me right

ok, your peers have phds and high paying jobs. what then? now what? learn to add +1 to every thought. proof by induction. you've answered my question in your head when i asked you what now, but now add +1 again. now what? what then? after all of that, what then? keep going, what then? everything you said there, you nailed it completely, your only mistake is not realizing that's life. you are describing life, this is it

>>19484136
New thread is perfect.

>>19484147
It wasn’t me

I’m a man who’s torn and I don’t know what I should be doing with my life.

>>19474227
Midway through this semester I rekindled my passion for music. I pursued music production pretty intensely in my teen years but gave it up a few years ago to become a normal. In light of my artistic resurgence my grades and class attendance have plummeted but I feel like myself for the first time in years. I'm wrapped in this sense of certainty that feels great, but also alien to me, having doubted myself for so long. I know what I must improve in myself to create the sounds I want. I know that I will work to be the man I'm supposed to be. But some part of me feels terrible for letting my parents down, and more immediately my math professor, a kindly old man who let me extend an exam date by 2 weeks... which I'm gonna promptly fail in an hour. But what can I say? You can't make everyone happy.

My parents, being squares (albeit kind ones), had a long discussion with me yesterday before I got back on campus. They are upset with me giving up school for the sake of music, but they seem willing to support me if I finish the semester strongly and go to music school. But I feel like I have already wasted enough time trying to be someone I wasn't meant to be, and need to make up for lost time by working on my craft even if it comes at the expense of my grades. And on top of this while I've always had reservations about music school too— strangely enough I want to study acting, mainly to learn Method, become more malleable in my personality and peel back the mask I've formed that's hardened over the years. I think if I am able to balance the rigor of such a program with my musical pursuits, it would allow me to develop a strong emotional inner world and create better art in the long term.