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/lit/ - Literature

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1933585 No.1933585 [Reply] [Original]

I lay here dreaming
the smell of sharpie on my arm surcomes me
i find myself wishing i was home,
with you in my arms.
i pray for time to pass faster
for as the days linger i only miss you more
the sound of your voice lingers in my mind
i slowly drift into an unconcious state as i stare into my memories
a day has not passed where i have not thought about you
i dream to call you my girl
i dream that our friendship will only grow stronger
i dream to to say i love you
i dream to say i do
your laugh allways makes my smile
somehow you allways make my day better
if you were with me now,
i would celibrate with bliss.
missing you only makes me stronger
missing you only makes me more of a man
once i finaly see you i wont know what to do
but what i do know one thing,
I miss you babe.

tell me what you thik this is a rough draft

>> No.1933595

I dream of a day when people stop using the fucking metaphor of dream when they just mean they want.

>> No.1933600

>>1933595

MLK made it cool, you know.

>> No.1933608

>>1933600
MLK used it elegantly in oratory because it's useful for evocative rhythms.
People writing it 30 times in shitty poems (OP is the thousandth one I've seen that does it) is just a lack of vocabulary.

>> No.1933615
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1933615

>>1933608

Got a point.

Also

> dat no rhytmn
> dat no capitalization
> dat no punctuation
> "edgy and cool"

>> No.1933639

i apriciate the honesty

>> No.1933966

4chan penis