/lit/ - Literature

I have half a mind to call you up,
The other half beggin' and pleadin' "Oh Ben no! PleaseStop!"
pro's and con's were spot on,
the criminal end broke the tip of my pen,
Here's my list of reasons,
You won't be the one that I'm singin' to.

You were the addiction I called it quits,
The bad junkie tossing out all of those daily habits,
False love, words injected till rejected,
You wouldn't allow that happiness,
Even when I'm searching for truth,
In all my losses and damages,

Taunt me and tempt me,
I'll be the one resent free,
With these 40 days,
There's not a lie you could say...

Take a deep look inside yourself,
To the places you can't find in your aesthetics,
But I doubt you could handle the navigation,
Unclear,
Your true self,
Always hidden,
It's pathetic.
Unlike you,
I've harvested my fears dear,
and the crops were tossed out,
With the dreams of your plague,
Ruins of your every waking day,
To decompose and feed the new growth. The new way.
Now the stronger stalk,
Excepted by next year,
Sprout from seeds,
What it will be unbeknowst to me.

Begone turmoil,
I sing you out of the soil.
In the shadow of my former self,
There is only light.


It lavishes the leaves,
as the roots take deep,
This soil digests new life into me,
The nutrients no longer taste nor smell of you,
Because you were a pollutant,
And I have been renewed.

shitsux.

>>1932860
damnz

"The Epitome of Gay" by OP

sounds like lyrics off of brand new's first album

>>1932853
Seems like lyrics you'd hear from a talentless "indie" band. Or a talentless metalcore band.

>>1932908
hey
brand new is a good band

>>1932912
Yeah.

[spolier]Once they released The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me[/spoiler]

>>1932918
Lol. Spoiler fail.

But you're right.

"I was a teenage faggot.", the ballad of op

Bump for utter faggotry.

>>1932918
>>1932912
The Devil and God influenced me a lot when it came out and it still does.
Greatest Brand New album period.
Daisy was great as well but no D&G
Vices was a brilliant opener and I still think of it as one of their greater songs next to Welcome to Bangkok.
(until their next one drops)

>>1932922
>>1932875
The song is called "Rock Bread"
continue trolling I need bumps for real opinions.

>>1932908
so are you saying the song is good, or are you saying that even though you have yet to hear what it sounds like you're making assumptions like a true fan of >>"talentless indie band. Or a talentless metalcore band."
>Inb4 naming all bands you listen to and how every album before they got signed is better than the rest.

>>1932961
FUCK YOU OP!
The Devil Wears Prada Is a fucking GOOD BAND!

I really thought the lyrics were bad. Like, not trolling, they were just bad. Keep trying though.

>>1932986
>>I really thought the lyrics were bad. Like, not trolling, they were just bad. Keep trying though.

>>bad. Like, not trolling,

how about I change my chorus to
"BLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW OH OH, OHOHOH OH, BLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW OH OH, OHOHOH OH."
would you be a fan then while I'm adding autotune?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSaPbVjcrp4&feature=related

Try this for an example of lyrics done right. Constant theme, simple message, fits a melody. You can do your complicated stuff once you become a megastar. Dylan had to write "Blowin' in the Wind" before he had the license to do "Leopardskin Pillbox Hat."

>I have half a mind
>read rest of lyrics
Sounds about right.

>>1932993
alright,
you don't understand the lyrics or the theme.
neverfuckingmind.
I have written over 15,000 songs and poems.
Who said I wanted to be a mega star? I want to make a great impacting album.

But if people are too ignorant to get it, not my problem.

>>1933005
I'm just pointing out that people aren't patient enough to tolerate self-indulgent stuff if you haven't previously impressed them in any way.

>>1932983

I don't exactly AGREE with this... but I will say that Zombies EP absolutely fucking shreds

>>1933001
>behemoth criticizing anyone about poetry/song lyrics

>>1933005

Yes... your lyrics contain such depth... there's no way these damn commoners could ever understand. You are a true artist, op... and your words are a triumph through your struggle, which is, no doubt, daunting.

>>1933015

Why are you always bickering with him? It's like you've got a little brother complex or something...

>>1933022
HIGH FIVES!

>>1933023
explain

>>1933024

and you are so modest! it's charming, really.

>>1933030

Well... here is my theory...

His name starts with "b" and you are angry that you're not the only tripfag with a name starting with "b", so you feel compelled to argue with anything he says and prove that you are the superior bfag

>>1933035
i've never bickered with him tho

here you go so you can get it.
>>pro's and con's were spot on,
the criminal end broke the tip of my pen.
Here's my list of reasons,

>lists reasons

>>You were the addiction I called it quits,
The bad junkie tossing out all of those daily habits,
False love, words injected till rejected,
You wouldn't allow that happiness,
Even when I'm searching for truth,
In all my losses and damages,

>>The bad junkie tossing out all of those daily habits
>even another reference to something in relation to con and criminal

>>Taunt me and tempt me,
I'll be the one resent free,
With these 40 days,
There's not a lie you could say...

>Another reference to tossing out all the old and it coming back to tempt me, reference to title and jesus wandering in the desert and being tempted by lucifer.
TE calling her The Devil.

>>Take a deep look inside yourself,
To the places you can't find in your aesthetics,
But I doubt you could handle the navigation,
Unclear,
Your true self,
Always hidden,
It's pathetic.
Unlike you,
I've harvested my fears dear,
and the crops were tossed out,
With the dreams of your plague,
Ruins of your every waking day,
To decompose and feed the new growth. The new way.
Now the stronger stalk,
Excepted by next year,
Sprout from seeds,
What it will be unbeknowst to me.

>My explanation to "the devil" that she has nothing to offer me, but I have more to offer her. Explanations of what and why.

>>Begone turmoil,
I sing you out of the soil.
In the shadow of my former self,
There is only light.

>telling "the devil" to gtfo you will not tempt of infect me.

>>It lavishes the leaves,
as the roots take deep,
This soil digests new life into me,
The nutrients no longer taste nor smell of you,
Because you were a pollutant,
And I have been renewed.

>conclusion of why even reference to the light from myself helping all the new stalk grow and flourish.


ignorance. phaw.

>>1933040
This is quite a far cry from "comeatmebro"

>>1933031
thank you :]

>>1933050
I think that was directed at me. Don't quite know why, but...

>>1933046
I said comeatmebro.
not comeatmeignoranttrolls.

>>1933022
even if you wouldn't have liked it,
I am positive your critic would have been only helpful.
thank you sir,
I am a tryin.

>>1933015
>Quentin making yet one more remark of no thought or consequence, flailing onanistic into his bucket of collected ejaculate, of which he sips and sups regularly.

>>1933011
I roar like a lion,
if that doesn't catch them too bad.
I'm not 15 anymore so I don't write like I used to and I prefer not to go back.

not saying I won't write a song that isn't happy go lucky or something of that nature,
But I'm not writing singles specifically for the radio,
If it doesn't make it from my album I have no qualls.
I've only posted 2 songs on /lit/ so far.
and neither are from my EP.

>>1933063

>his name is quentin
>fucking QUENTIN!?

>>1933055
woops

>>1933005

>15,000 songs and poems.

Are they all this good?

>Ignorant

Are you michael jackson?

>>1933081
not the couple hundred from when I was 10,
but they got better every day.

>didn't have friends
>had allowance to spend
>only bought notebooks and books
>didn't have video games

>>1933089

you're implying that you've wrote more than a song a day basically
you're full of shit

>>1933092

>couple hundred
do you not know a couple is more than one?
between 2-3'undred

>>1933094
but also there were breaks where I would write a story that would take a few days,
I used to read a lot of the original Mechwarrior books and write awesome war stories about the future, when I finally went to Public school from Private school I took my English writing and reading comprehension, I was placed in the record score for my middle school which was the reading and writing of a eleventh grade Advanced Placement student.

>>1933094

I'm going to say that it's not rational to assume you are no older than 40.

15,000 (amount of songs you claim to have wrote) / 365 (days in a year, usually) = 41, roughly

That means if you are any younger than 41 you would have to have written an average at least of one song every day of your life. Factor out the first 10 years of your life that and it means that you would have to have written 500 songs a year if you're 31, which you're probably about half of, you fucking idiot.

>>1933092

No, I believe that if they were all this good then he could probably bang out a couple a day. Because this one looks like it took about 15 minutes to write. It's fucking ghastly.

>>1933101

that is not irrational*

>>1933092
>>1933100
The story I wrote for the placement test had to be continued and turned in on separate sheets of paper that they almost didn't allow until I forced them to read it, It was 18 pages long front and back and was written in about 45-55 minutes.

>>1933107

You said you have wrote 15,000 songs/poems. If you're 16 that means 937 a year... that's nearly 3 a day on average. If you're 18 that's 833 a year, more than two a day.

If you're going to lie to make yourself seem cool and intelligent, at least make up a kind of believable lie.

>inb4 op backtracks and claims to be trolling

>>1933101
I've written 25 song concept albums in a night,
it's not that big of a deal.

>>1933107

LOL YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT

The claim you're making here is that you wrote a page on an average of two and a half minutes per page. JESUS CHRIST YOU SUCK

>>1933121

>only 25 albums a night
>not a big deal

Well you're damn right about that. Step your pen game up, bro.

>>1933101
>>1933119
try writing a 250 minute script in one night by hand,
1 minute of a script is a page.
The more you write the faster you think, the faster you think the faster you have to write, ect,ect,ect

>>1933128

You're full of shit. Fuck off.

>>1933132
>>fuck off

>created thread
>talks shit because it doesn't understand song
>not intelligent enough for a real critic
>rages
>tells op to fuck off
>OP retorts with truth that since it couldn't understand the song how could this it understand what it means to write'er'out.
>rages
>Inb4 your sore ass rages about being called 'it'

>>1933126
I must mount this beast to display my 25 album in a night dominance.

Well I just finished writing six novels this evening.

It's not a big deal, I usually crank out five or six every night.

And then I have a lot of sex. Freaky sex.

>>1932961
You asked for criticism faggot. Your song was awful

>>1933116
no lie,
I'm only 21 actually.
disbelieve or believe. I would sit listening in class writing about other things.
Learned what I needed to, And looked good for it (teachers thought I took notes every class)
get home, veg out, read two or three chapters, write.
almost every day of my childhood.

>>1933170
I wish I had freaky sex, I'm looking for the right girl these days. You know the whole being an adult thing.

>>1933173
>Defensive when called out
yup I was right.

this is a stupid thread

the lyrics arent very good. very generic themes and uninteresting imagery

>>1933217
thanks for at least trying to write a good critic.


And to all those haters hatin
saying that I can't possibly have written over 15,000 songs in 12 years, think of it this way, You Fap and cum fast, and I Write fast. Get over it.

>>1933217
what are generic about the themes?
what makes the imagery uninteresting?

see I hear you all talk your shit, when you give me basic half thoughts after not understanding the piece.

all of this feedback is 0/1,000,000

here are some songs you may enjoy, that your IQ may handle, not sure if it will overload you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG-vLZrb-g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcNiKCmWdYE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iSRr3ZuLL8

>>1933273
Forgot one
probably will blow your mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

I apologize for not being
>Radio Revenge at the Arcade Disco Fire
enough for 4chan.