/lit/ - Literature

First for the lesbians

>>19272520

Museum Sketch

A slight, vaguely effeminate man, sitting alone, nibbling on the turkey wrap. It was definitely the turkey wrap; it had the distinctive light orange color reminiscent of vomit. Conventional dress: button-down Oxford shirt, dark gray jacket, no tie. Only hint of unconventionality to be found lurked in the frames of his glasses, whose frames had an unsettling light-blue color.

>>19272520
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmMmmmMmmmmmmm.m.m..m

Any reason why this is called the writing general if no one writes?

>>19272676

Let's propose an exercise then. The mods didn't take too kindly to the "wrongful killing" one posted earlier, though it was admittedly trollish with the Alec Baldwin news and all.

>>19272717
Did he finally kill himself?

>>19272520
Days since anything halfway decent was posted:
0
>>19271128

>>19272853
He accidentally killed a woman with a prop gun

>>19272676
I write up a storm.
https://reddit.com/user/ulatekh/comments/pluf8q/hello/

>>19272531
SO MUCH THIS
jk its an agp larp

How do you do a character arc when the main character's goal is passive. Like, all he wants is to survive the big monster and go home. I've found that in this case most character arcs is either "the character becomes a protective guardian" or "the character gets over his fears and learns to fight back." And that's it.

Jurassic Park - becomes guardian
Terminator - learns to fight back
Evil Dead - learns to fight back
Alien - learns to fight back
Aliens - becomes guardian

>>19272676
I write.

>>19273223
circumstances for them into proactivity (eg Schindler's List)
or: they are lens through which the reader can experience more engaging characters or situations (eg Heart of Darkness)

>Slave/master dynamic where the subjugated has no desire to be free or independent
Is it impossible to make these characters interesting

>>19273504
Real life isn't interesting?

>>19273167
>reddit
read first 3. well written, but uninteresting and flat. not enough description of the world to put the reader there. still, something well written is hard to come by around here. can you refer me to what you feel is your very best short story?

>>19273540
But it is. It's very interesting.
>>19273223
The story would have a pretty sour tone, at the very least an amoral one, mainly because he is just one dude trying to get back home, you can make it work, but the journey will be what makes it interesting.

I wrote 2500 words tonight. Feels good.

>>19273569
I rather liked "Camp" and "Sullen Galaxy".
If you want something shorter, I'm fond of "Big Boy Toys", "New Generation", "Fangirl", and "Happy Anniversary".

>>19272955
You said that about both of my posts in the last bread

>>19273199
idk why you have to be obsessed with accusing other women of larping. sorry do I need to describe in excruciating detail my menstrual cramps and uterine tissue that spills out. grow up you're not the only bitch on the internet

- Click -
Today may be different from yesterday, or perhaps today will be the same as tomorrow.
The computer screen illuminated and flickered with a soft hue. Words changed and pictures appeared. Various graphics cluttered the screen, ranging from funny pictures of cats, to headlines detailing three people died in a car accident on the local highway. It happened at 3:48 p.m. There were some information about the weather. It will be 79 degrees tomorrow. Despite the silence, the room sparked signs of life. Ice melted inside a clear glass cup, as the condensation of droplets ran down the side of the glass.
- Click -
The screen flickered and moved. A new display of different words and pictures. Feds stoke Fears of Inflation, Congress Passes Law Against Guns, Naomi and Chris Calls it Quits!, Man Marries Robot; a New Trend?, New Fish Discovered in India, Ten Tips to Get the Girl of Your Dreams!, Mudslide in Mexico Reveals New Ruins, Fan Causes Disaster at the Tour De France, Heat Wave Renews Fear of Climate Change, Pizza That Will Blow Your Mind, and Drug Cartels Believe to Have Kidnapped Fifty. The hand and finger coordinated together to move a small pointer toward the topic “Ten Tips to Get the Girl of Your Dreams!”.
- Click -
A large picture of a pretty girl with a big toothy smile from ear to ear displayed on the screen. She had dark brown hair, green eyes, and wearing a purple sweater. Sitting on a white sofa, with her legs crossed, she looked straight at the person on the other side of the computer screen. A perfect shot. The finger manipulated the computer device and rolled a button to lower the page away from the girl. There the large text displayed what was advertised only a few seconds ago. “Ten Tips to Get the Girl of Your Dreams!”, written by Susan Coleans, and updated this morning at 9:03 A.M.
“Sigh…”, a deep breath exhaled from the lips of the person looking at the bright white screen. Caleb sat staring at the words on his computer screen and took a bite of his cold pizza. Caleb scratched the skin between the thinning brown hair that remained on the side and top of his head. The unshaven shards of hair on his chin and under his nose decorated the rest of Caleb’s face. He licked his dry lips ignoring the dehydration setting after a few hours of the same repetitive motion that dominated his day. He read the first tip of ten. “Tip 1: Repeat After Me! BE CONFIDENT!”
There’s nothing sexier than a man that is confident! His suave movements, his determined stare, and woo-la-la, his gruff and strong demands. No girl can resist any man that is able to take charge, know what he wants, and unafraid of failure!
Caleb read more of the article and onto the next tip. “Tip 2: Passion! Passion! Passion!
“The “P” word. Nope, the “P” that you’re looking for isn’t a body part, but rather a feeling! Passion! Passion! Passion!

>>19273691
read camp. good writing. too many commas. twist isn't clear enough: it gets bogged down in the equipment sequence where it's not clear who gets what items.

captcha: XGAYJ

>>19273941
esl

>>19273167
>>19273358
brave

I seem to recall there was an euphemism for semen that literally meant something like 'vigor' or 'vitality' or some such, anyone have any ideas? It's right on the tip of my tongue but I just can't seem to find it on google

>>19274018
>It's right on the tip of my tongue
well spit it out, gross

>>19274018
I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my ESSENCE.

>>19274018
Spunk

>it's right on the tip of my tongue
heh

>>19274021
ayyy that's the word, stay based my dude

>>19274020
>>19274024
it was unintentional i swear

>>19274028
>it was unintentional i swear
That makes it worse

Does anyone remember what its called when a guy dunks his nuts on top your head? It's like "coffee-sacking" or "hacky-basket" or something. Man this one's really fucking my ass.

>>19274105
What the hell are you writing?

>>19274105
Tea bagging?

>>19272520
Can I get critique for my work?
>Basic summary
>It's a horror story of a supposedly everyday average joe that encounters a mysterious woman in a white coat and just moments after their first meeting a violent crime happens.
https://old.reddit.com/r/DarkTales/comments/q9jfli/fissures_in_the_psyche/

>>19274126
I like the general idea but there are a lot of small mistakes throughout the story. Things like "I simply said", "coastal little town" sound awkward. Some of the dialogue tags are pointless: you don't need to use "asked" when there is a question mark, you don't need to add "pleadingly" when the dialogue is an obvious plea. Your description of the violent crime could be a bit more exciting. Try reading it again and iron out these things.

>>19274105
I see what you did there.

>>19274153
I use to have a knack for writing action sequences. It was always one of the best parts of the stories for me. I really hope I didn't lose it. But thanks for the feedback. I'll use it to improve my style on part three when the weekly update comes up.

>>19274168
Perhaps try revisiting a few authors you enjoy that do action really well. A little inspiration can go a long way.

Any good writing exercises?

I'm going to a coffee shop in a bit and thought I would maybe try and describe the room and the people there. I wanted to know if anyone had anything a little more engaging or interesting?

Despite talking about writing here a good bit I never actually do because I don't want to commit to an idea and do it badly (which is fucking stupid, I know). So I thought I would do some writing exercises to get more practice.

>>19274606
go to the flash fiction general and pick up a prompt

>>19274606
Here's one to practice pacing. Rewrite a fairy tale, first with just rising action. Then add falling action.

You will never be a real writer. You have no talent, you have no imagination, you have no insight. You are a pretentious man twisted by greed and vanity into a crude mockery of literary aspirations.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your tedious attempts to be witty behind closed doors.

Readers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of analysis have allowed critics to sniff out pseuds with incredible efficiency. Even hacks who “sell” seem uncanny and unnatural to a reader. Your sentence structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a contract, the audience will toss your book in the trash the second they get a glance at your stilted, awkward prose.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it just needs a little more editing before you can start looking for an agent, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and pull a DFW. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to tell you that your latest story was "good, but don't you think you should start getting serious about your future?" They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and no passerby for the rest of eternity will ever know that you used to refer to yourself with two first initials. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a self-pub that is unmistakably cringe.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

>>19274721
I've read the tranny version of this copypasta too many times for this to work anon

>>19274614
I didn't know there was one. Cheers.

>>19274716
I don't really know how I would even do that, I'm really right at the beginning of beginner right now.

You will be a real writer. You have talent, you have imagination, you have insight. You are a creative man blessed with linguistic mastery and peerless intuition, which you will utilize to make your literary aspirations a reality.

All the validation you get is sincere and enthusiastic. Behind your back (and in your presence) people praise you. Your parents are amazed and proud of you, your friends laugh at your bon mots and witticisms.

Readers are utterly awed by you. Thousands of years of analysis have allowed critics to sniff out geniuses with incredible efficiency. Even masters who don't sell (don't fret, you'll sell) seem brilliant and inventive to a reader. Your sentence structure is a dead giveaway. And when you manage to get a contract, the audience will sing your book's praises - shout their adoration from every rooftop - the second they get a glance at your beautiful, revolutionary prose.

You will be happy. You greet every morning with a luminous smile and tell yourself it's perfect and you're ready to start looking for an agent, and deep inside you feel the optimism rising up like the morning sun, ready to shine its light and extinguish every dark, depressing thought.

It won't be too much to bear - you’ll buy a house, meet a lovely and intelligent woman, marry her, and live happily and comfortably. Your parents will find you, proud and overjoyed that their son is such a success. After many fulfilling years, your children will bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know who you were and pay their respects. Your soul will ascend to heaven, and what will remain of your legacy is an extensive oeuvre, masterful, unparalleled, infinitely influential.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

>>19274744
You can use Scene and Sequel structure to control pacing of the narrative. That's one way to do it. In that structure, a scene is ether Scene or Sequel
>Scenes: Goal, Conflict, Outcome
>Outcomes can be "Yes the goal's met, but no there's a new, worse conflict" or "No the goal's not met, and there's an additional conflict"
>Sequels: Reaction (to a Scene), Dilemma, Decision
If you have tons of Scenes in a row, the pace is fast. Tension becomes unbearable because of how many problems get involved. Sequels slow down the narrative to reflect on the conflict. Having scene and sequel is like having ebb and flow to a story that you can balance as you see fit. Keep in mind, it's just a structure an there are no strict rules. Still, I recommend utilizing the structure to see what happens when there's no Sequels at all.

>>19273882
>sorry do I need to describe in excruciating detail my menstrual cramps
No you need to post your mommy milkers

>>19274721
>They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and no passerby for the rest of eternity will ever know that you used to refer to yourself with two first initials.
Holy kek

>>19274791
golly gee anon, do you really mean that?

>>19273223

It's definitely overrated, but watch The Big Lebowski if you haven't already. For a passive character the standard devices are mistaken identity, opposing forces seeking to use the passive character for their own purposes, and chance. But be especially careful if you don't want the story to go in a comedic direction.

>>19274606
Here's a couple of random ones from my giant list of exercises I've stolen from writing books:

>Write a description of a journey you take regularly. Do not mention street names or directional cues (ie. left, right). Imagine you were telling someone the route using only landmarks.

>Write the paragraph that would appear in a piece of fiction right before the discovery of a body.

>Describe a lake as seen by a young man who has just committed murder. Do not mention the murder

I'm hoping to finish editing my book by christmas, then I'm going to try and find a literary agent.

>>19275151
How do you know when you're "finished editing"?
I've cut 13k words

>>19275166
Generally you want to do a 4 things:
1. Look for pretty large things you don't like and want to change, for instance last night I re-wrote an entire scene and changed a character I introduced from a terrible cringe-worthy semi-comedic lolrandomxD to a guy who who genuinely terrifies my main characters, and as a result changes their motivation for a later action to something far more engaging.
2. Once your story is how you like it, look for gaping plot holes or large issues with the plot that you need to fix.
3. Once there are no plot holes or other major issues, go back and re-read it out loud and look for issues with your prose. Change sentences around, mess with sentence structure, make sure things are succinct.
4. Finally, go back and fix any grammatical issues or spelling mistakes you might have missed.

I usually do multiple of those at the same time, but whether you do it messily like me or one at a time, as long as the end result is the same it doesn't matter.

>>19275215
I've done many, many passes for number 4, I'm pretty confident with 1 and 2. Prose is the only thing I keep fretting over.
>But does it flow?
I ask myself.

>>19275222
Best way to find out is to read it out loud. Sometimes I will often compare what I wrote to a page from a book I like too, not to plagiarize but more to get a quick reminder of how actually well-written, published books do it.

>>19275228
I've heard of people doing that but it's sounds embarrassing

>>19275235
You could do it quietly, wait until you're alone or, if you're like me, read it in your head. I have a strange brain though, and I can hear sounds in my mind so clearly that I can literally listen to songs in my head and it's almost as good as the real thing.

>>19275238
I guess I could try it.

>>19274721 Based

>>19273679
Give me season 2 now

>>19272520
My writing sucks, my tastes suck, everything about me... sucks. I'm an autological suckhole, that's right, yes siree. But wiring and reading, that's my bread and butter, my fellow book nutter.

>>19275405

Have you considered devoting yourself to some Cause and becoming a hack?

>>19275411
Like Communism, created by dialectician and historical materialist, Kras Mazov? :D

>>19275431

The Cause itself doesn't matter; that one is just as fine as any other. Even the maddest device has a fair chance of success provided it is properly organized.

>>19275431
So long as you don't go around shooting people

>>19272520
finally got into a really good writing mode and then the hours just disappeared, have to force myself to go to bed. i got a lot done but not enough. frustrating

>>19275434
>cause doesn't matter, but be a hack anyway
That doesn't make sense, I should care about the cause for me to write shitty material for it.
>>19275715
The bourgeoisie keeping us down, brother.

>>19275144
I really like the first and third exercises. Reminds me of the oulipo movement. Thanks!

>>19274794
Ah, so writing scene after scene is like stacking blocks higher and higher, and there's a nervous anticipation that they fall, creating the tension.

Would writing scenes and then sequels sequentially and repeatedly feel very boring and repetitive in that case?

>>19273540
>Real life
When has that ever been the case?

So what do I do after I’ve figured out the tax policy and who takes out the trash for my world building? Does that mean I’m ready to develop a story?

>>19276371
Eh? There's no particular order you have to do anything.
Just write what comes to mind, and edit later to make it all come together.
Don't get in the way of your muse.

>>19276310
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHVqxD8PNq8

>>19276479
I meant when have slaves every appreciated their servitude. Nice clip, though.

Lololol none of you can write

>>19276549
Look at me go!

>>19276549
Correction: None of us can write *good*.

I don't think the start to my story is reflective of how I want the book to be. I'm trying to write something gothic, a bit gory and maybe shocking, but it's coming out as a YA book. Do I power on and try and correct it after finishing the book or rewrite the chapter once I'm done with it?

>>19276653
Also, any tips on how to achieve this kind of writing? I kind of want it to feel like doom metal sounds.

>>19276653
Just keep going. There's a very real possibility that you won't know how the story should start until after you've gotten a little ways into it. Maybe even after you've finished it. Nothing wrong with completely nuking the first act of your book if it doesn't do what you want.

>>19276653
You should change the intro, but that scene might fit somewhere in the story. If it doesn't just throw it in a writing trunk somewhere. Chapter 1 of a story should reflect the kind of story your about to tell to give the reader expectations on the mood, themes, what might happen, all those kinds of things. That being said, you don't have to write it first. If you have a general idea and then get more specific later as the story comes together, that is fine too.
You don't have to be overly gory in the intro, but establishing gothic setting and language and showing signs of death or deadly monsters or objects can be telling for the reader.

>>19276687
Yeah good point, I guess I'll just power through and try to keep what I want to do in mind.

>>19276689
Well the first chapter involves some cliches like a decrepit church-type building, witch main character etc. A character dies, which is kind of the impetus for the plot. There's a very overdone 'contract with the devil' type thing which gets passed onto the main character, I'm thinking of having some occult type ram-people come deliver the news or something.

Jamal punitively pushed his penis in and out of his prepubescent stepsister’s pussy. “I’m the king nigga!” He proclaimed repeatedly as he built to his climax.
“You are the king nigger! You are!” The little girl, blonde locks tangling with her fingers, assured the lithe black boy while she tried to wipe away the tears from her eyes. Still, the tears poured down her chubby cherubic cheeks, red from being slapped, and onto the pillow below.
“Yeah! That’s the stuff, bitch,” Jamal growled through gritted teeth. He shuddered as he came, then flopped down on the girl. His attempt to luxuriate in the afterglow was foiled by the little girl’s continued weeping. Grudgingly, he pulled out of her. Climbing off the bed, Jamal grabbed her pink Disney Princess panties off the nightstand and wiped his dick clean with it. He then balled up the sopping garment in his fist and sauntered toward the door, ignoring the sobs and sniffles of the girl behind him.
“Jamal? Are … are you done with Iris?” His stepfather asked, kneeling, as Jamal threw open the door to her room. Wringing his hands pensively, he added: “I do wish you’d be gentler with my little girl.”
Jamal flung the underwear soiled by his cock into his stepfather’s face. “Reparations, faggot! I’m the kind nigga of this house and I’ll do what I want! Where’s mom?”
“She’s in the master bedroom with Tyrone,” the stepfather answered. He walked into the room to console his daughter.

>>19276731
"...luxuriate in the afterglow..." sounds dumb as fuck.

Oh, and you're a freak.

>>19276731
I can't believe pedo rape crap doesn't count as reportable.

>>19276971
I'd almost bet he's on at least two lists.

Does everyone have a full story, or y'all just continuously writing, never actually stopping and finishing a story?
I ask because I've been writing on and off for years. Now I finally settled on a story that I want to finish. Already got a good 20k ready to go and readable, not counting the rest of the draft.
Does anyone want to read and give me criticism?

From my short story: "Epstein's Island"

Sharon was still alive in away. She hung from the ceiling, perfectly balanced and held up by black ropes which passed through silky ribbons implanted in her shoulders. Her head and all of her limbs had been amputated, her small breasts raised and fell as her lungs expanded and contracted, a thin line of blood shot up from a long metal tap in her neck, spattering what was left of her body as her heart thumped against her chest. A robed figure entered her cell, it plugged the tap, connected a feeding tube to her stomach then inserted a catheter in her urethra, the figure also took time to run its finger through, pull and twist on the sparse blonde hair on her pubic mound before leaving.

>>19277026
I've been writing only one story weeklyn since April last year. It's about 2 books completed and I'm making headway into the third one. as for your second question, hard to say, I'm not the most qualified when it comes to critique

>>19277047
Sharon is a grown woman by the way, the main characters are police officers investigating the Island long after Epstein's death, and the Island is filled with transhumanist satanists, troglodyte slaves and demonic apparitions (aka jews and south americans)

>>19276971
>>19276928
Filtered. It’s about the complexity of relationships and how to redress racial justice in mixed families.

>>19277026
Yes. I started 2nd draft this month. Aiming to finish 3rd draft in January or February. It may be later though due to interruptions.
I hope to publish next year and hope living conditions stay stable for another year. Elements of the story have already been perceived as about COVID and not the more universal idea I intended. Need to get it done before anything happens internationally to avoid further misinterpretation. I just want the reader to imagine the ages that come after today and what we can learn from it.

>>19276731
This doesn't even make sense. Why would the father console his daughter if he felt it was for justified reparations? He would smile and proudly proclaim how he was addressing racial justice and telling his daughter how she too fought against racial inequality.

>>19277026
I have three or four finished short stories, two completed novel manuscripts, one screenplay.

I've actually been looking for someone to go over a novella of mine and give me some impressions. It's about 60,000k but I only expect you to read until you feel bored.

>>19277065
No, it's not.

>>19277494
Okay it’s not. I was just shitposting.

>>19276681
Read a lot of stuff that has the feel you're going for and take notes on how the author makes it work.

>>19276371
Slow down anon, you haven't even worked out how the trash collection system got to where it is today.

My story involves a main character who's a messiah communicating with the stories God (not the abrahamic one). Is this cringe?

Writing villains is extremely difficult.

>>19277702
No it's not. Just have the villain tell the brutal truth that most people shy away from. Normies will be impressed.

>>19277348
60 million words? That might beat the all-time record for longest novel.
Sure hope it's not just a list of women you would iike to pork.

>>19277728
and then a couple years later brainlet journalists will write about how your villain was actually right all along

How does /wg/ feel about fan fiction?

I have about 35k unique views from fan fictions and it makes me happy. Is that bad?

I do have a few ideas for original fiction but can never be urged enough to work on them.

>>19277026
I have finished stories but after improving my skills I often go back to polish up them. Sometimes I keep old stuff I've written to one day upload them so people can see how much I've improved since then.

>>19277559
Not necessarily, it depends on how you handle most of it and what the ending ultimately says. If the story focuses on the morality of the God and the messiah but is one-sided and edgy it could be cringe. I could see people putting it down if they have any misgivings about that. Make the point more subtle if that really is your point though.
I'm reminded of Paradise Lost, which I greatly enjoyed even though I disagree with Milton's alleged idea of Lucifer being heroic. I actually doubted what most writers and academics said about Milton's point of it was, since the depiction of the Son and the Father used patristic theology, albeit ridiculing papism for those that consider that patristic. Academics evidence of lines alleging Unitarian theology seemed like non-sequitirs to me. Lucifer was constantly depicted as embodying well documented heresies and delusions that made him completely unflattering. Unless I'm just retarded, I think Milton did a good job of forming a cool story around Christian mythos while allowing the reader to judge for themselves.

In that same spirit, I think moral gray area allows the reader to question who they think the real God or authority is. I'd say that's more interesting because it leaves a question hanging for a while. Let your story's conflicts put your characters to the test.

>>19277788
at least youre writing something

>>19277788
Writing is good. All work is derivative, the only difference is to what degree. That being said, I would personally be less happy with writing successful fanfiction than writing stuff of my own.

>>19277798
I wrote I think 1k words earlier this evening? It isn't hard from the right mindset - the tough part is editing it into enjoyable prose (if necessary).

I wanted to pursue writing at least 500 words a day (I think that is pretty easy and fair for anyone, even workaholics) but it's been tough going.

I will be laying around after my kids go to bed, with nothing at all stopping me from writing one of the numerous stories I have to update / work on, but I don't.

I compare it to people who go to the gym. Working out is something you need to stick with and not make excuses about, same as writing. If you take one day off from the gym, the next gym day it feels easy to just make excuses.

The trick to writing is to not make excuses and just do it, no matter what. I have not mastered it yet, but I think it's just that simple and anybody looking for prompts / challenges is missing the point.

We do not write just to write; we write to tell our stories. And that requires us to write, every day, even if we do not wish it, or think that we do not wish it.

>>19277821
True but writing successful OG stories is 1000x harder than writing comparatively "successful" fanfiction.

>>19277788
Dan Wells wrote fan fiction for 8 years while working a dead-end hotel job before he got serious and published an actual book to start his career. If you are serious about improving, then you're gmi.

>>19276731
ok
>>19277047
sentences are too long

>>19277788
I used to write conic the hedgehog fan fiction. It was a different time.
I’ve toyed with rewriting the most recent terminator movie.

>>19277835
he was also friends with brando sando and ken jennings though

>>19273954
The twist was the main character was a guard, not a prisoner.

>>19274860
Yes, and you can quote me.

>>19277755
Which will give your story *staying power*!

>>19278019
Yeah I got that. I just didn't find it clear enough.

>>19277702
Not these days. They just gotta be straight white males and gnash their teeth every time they see someone who is LGBT, a minority, or a woman.

>>19278091
but that's me

>>19278118
I’m sorry, anon, but you’re literally Hitler.

>>19277794
Thanks for the input. I read Paradise Lost as inspiration for the villains in this story. The character is some black pilled guy who God (called Heno in reference to neoplatonism) selected because he has little faith and has much to learn. As I write, I worry I am using the Heno character too much for exposition but I'm not sure how else to move the story forward.

I'm not sure how cool modern audiences are with a God character or if they''ll instantly be put off

What if your hero is your villain?

>>19278287
That’s what they call an Andy hero. Or do you mean multiple personalities? That’s what’s called carp.

>>19278287
Hero's and protagonists aren't mutually exclusive. You can totally have an anti-hero protagonist and the villain has heroic attributes. Villain is a type of antagonist that specifically out to stop the protag, right?

>>19278269
A deity that I had written gets one scene of dialogue in the inciting incident to establish its role. The rest of the exposition I give about the deity is interpreted by a foil with 2 degrees of separation from that incident. It helped me keep the story personal and distance the deity from the protag's story. "Force of nature" villains are cool, and you can relate their pernicious actions through the story's setting, characters, ideas and events. You see the influence attributed to it constantly that way.
You could have the messiah talk to Heno often but not always show it. Show the key expositions and then tell the rest as needed. Spend time showing other things. This will help bring flavor to your story, as you want to avoid too many similar scenes.

>>19278341
I like the idea of not necessarily. Explaining what heno is saying cuz that's kind of what they do in the Bible and it does add bit of mystery and doesn't exactly spell out everything

>work on a draft on and off for a month
>realize it's going nowhere
>short story, ~1000 words

Should I just trash it or post it here so anons can give me writing tips?

>>19278521
It's not about how fast you write it, but how well. I guess efficiency is important for being prolific, but you have to learn how to write first. You should post it if you're comfortable with it never being published again (people can search it and find it here, etc), then you'll get a bad reputation with publishers as someone who sends out already published work.

>>19278527
>It's not about how fast you write it, but how well.
Agreed, but at my stage I feel like speed is a relevant metric, since I'm learning quite a bit as I write and revise. That has nothing to do with my concerns though, I just said 'a month' as some background.

>You should post it if you're comfortable with it never being published again... as someone who sends out already published work
That's fine. It's garbage. I don't plan on ever sending it out.

There's a couple of serious plotholes and incomplete sections because of the revisions I've made. I'll post it later this week since I also have exams to give.

I want to write complete utter crap that loops back around becoming ingenious

>>19278195
my pronouns are mein/fuhrer please respect them bigot

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TzEO-i9gU0QzCFFR273gBVdcnRESzqcr_p86OR2aD58/edit?usp=sharing

>>19278980
esl

>>19279045
>tfw not esl just retarded

At least a few hundred people from here will get published. Too much talent here compared to r*ddit

>>19279080
tell that to the fucker that keeps calling me esl

It was during late summer that I'd "borrowed" a bird-watching telescope and had it loaded in the trunk of the car. I drove far away from the city lights, past fields and a golf course all covered in fog, into the woods and past old churches and bridges built by people who spoke a different language than I.
I pulled up to a bus stop on a road between farm houses. Someone had brought office chairs here to make up for there being no bench. A dog barked a ways off. I wondered if it was warning me off its territory.
I pulled out the telescope and set it on the road. It wasn't designed for looking at things outside the Earth's atmosphere, so there were aberrations. I found Jupiter and four of its moons easily enough, all in a neat line. Next I looked for Saturn. The orb was easy to see, the rings could be made out as well. Long ago theologians had taught that just as Jesus Christ had bodily ascended to Heaven, so had his foreskin. That foreskin had not joined him, but had become the rings of Saturn. This was a holy moment. 175,000 miles, that's how long those rings were across. Jesus of Nazareth did not have phimosis! Amen, amen.

I left the car where I'd parked it and went to one of those churches I'd seen. Breaking in was easy, someone had done it long before me and nobody had bothered to fix the door. The roof had caved in and there was a puddle of water on the floor. It smelled of damp and mildew. The benches were rotten. I kneeled in that puddle anyway and offered my prayers to the night sky, visible through that hole. This would be my church.
I climbed to the roof up a good, strong iron ladder and set up my telescope there. I found Christ's foreskin again. The dog kept barking, closer this time. I stole a peek in the direction and saw a flash of light, a flashlight. Someone was checking out my car down the road, and there was the damn dog with them, too. Children of God were always persecuted. The dog found my tracks and led the man and his light closer to the church. The light shot up at me.
"Hey, you!" he shouted, and the dog pulled at his leash with a violence that almost made the man fall over.
"Begone from me, ye cursed and into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels!" I shouted in reply.
"Get down from there, it isn't safe!"
"The Lord is my shepherd, I will not want!"
In reply to the Lord's name, the hellhound broke free with great fury and rushed at the church. His handler fell headlong into the damp earth, his flashlight falling from his hands and leaving me in the dark again. I moved to look for loose rooftiles to cast at the enemies of the faith with.
"I said get down from there, that roof isn't safe!" the voice rang out again. I saw the glowing eyes of the hellhound in the church, through the hole in the roof. I took the first tile and threw it at the hound. A loud yelp revealed I'd hit it but not fatally. The best left my field of vision, and I rushed to the edge of the roof to better aim at the man.

>>19279080
No! I never want to be published! I hope the world finds my works so awful and grotesque that I'm excommunicated from every major religion!
>>19279085
At least you're funny.

>>19279085
Why do you care what he thinks? Anyone who uses "unnatural" language seems ESL to retards who can't understand ostranenie.

I saw the flashlight, but where was the man? He had abandoned his light, as befits a servant of darkness. A grunt revealed he was climbing the ladder up to the roof. I went to stand over him. In starlight I could barely see his face. An ugly man, a peasant man. He knew nothing of theology of sophistry. Satan had ensnared him through his baser desired. But did he deserve death for it? No. The beast was his familiar. To kill it would free him.
I turned my back to the struggling man and returned to the hole. It was a long way down, but the angels of the Lord would carry me safely down. I jumped.
Air rushed past me, then I hit the floor and pain too great for words shot up my legs, my legs! Did my mouth cry the words just my soul? Oh, I had been too proud, and the Lord had abandoned me to my hubris.
And to the hellhound. The dog was upon me without warning, biting into my arm, the fangs sinking into my flesh through the sleeve of my shirt. As the martyrs had suffered, so I did now.
"Oi, Minty! Off, off!" the man shouted from above, and the dog let me loose, still growling. With my one healthy limb I tried to drag myself away, and my fingers closed around something on the ground. A cross!
I hit the dog with all the strength my body could muster, and the cross hit near the eye. Angered, the beast attacked me. With Christ's cross in hand I fought back, ramming it into the creature's teeth, chipping many, and finally jammed the cross down its throat. It collapsed on me, dying.
Incoherent noises from above revealed the man who had been possessed by the beast was even now being freed from the evil spirit's control. But alas, the devil had more tricks to play yet, and the poor man slipped and fell down the hole, right on top of me and the dog. His head cracked against the floor, and thus two dead bodies lay on top of me and my broken legs and mangled arm. I stared at the sky, unable to move. I stared as the stars faded and dawn found us. I offered a prayer for the soul of the dead innocent who had been ensnared by the devil to attempt to stop my holy work. I offered another prayer to the world itself, for without my work Nibiru would return without warning, and all the angels of Hell would fly into our world as the two planets passed by one another.
This world's end was at hand. I would meet God's judgement with my head held high, though. I had done all I could. There would be others. If only I could give someone my telescope and tell them to look for changes in the sky. NASA would be hiding them until the last. I coughed. The cold had gotten to me. Even in daytime the abandoned church had a terrible chill, and the bodies on me grew colder by the minute. I offered one final prayer for the poor old devil, for he must truly have been getting desperate to send such agents after me.

>>19279120
wait where was I funny? unironic genuine question, I don't understand how to replicate humor
>>19279121
it's a mix. I care because that's my audience but don't because I don't care if my work gets well read or not. Weird mix of the two.

>>19279117
1/2
>>19279170
2/2
Forgot to put those in

>>19279173
Your replies made me laugh is all.

https://pastebin.com/K467M0KH

>>19273865
yeah i'm sorry to say but unfortunately as soon as i read sharing the tub for the kids i assumed it would be some retard porn fantasy again and kinda just skimmed it. This is the wrong place to even have anything related to naked kids without it being perverted by the oh fuck i can't be bothered with making the argument. You know what i mean. We're on 4chan.
But yeah it seemed like good writing

>>19279512
NTA but:
>dude, you must be perverted because I can't hear about naked kids without thinking about loli and shota
Maybe you need to log off a bit more, bro.

>>19279512
>>19279560
Wait, wasn't that about the Jake guy making kiddie porn? Why else would he take pictures?

Is writing dead, then?

>>19280438
Far from it

>>19280459
Strikes me as a proper lazy Sunday here.

>>19280462
Can't speak for others but I'm in the wage cagie, don't have anything to say at the moment.

>>19280483
Working on a Sunday
Wish I could go far away
But where can I go
When boss-man tells me no
No vacation, no raise
Even my own mother won't give me praise
I work for low wages
When all I want is to write more pages
But I must earn money
So I can one day support my honey
I wish to marry Ms. T
And give her my D
To fill her womb with my seed
And then write a little about the deed
A gentleman shouldn't kiss and tell
But myself, I think from the rooftops I'll yell
I got laid, I scored!
But by now you're all bored
Time for some peace and quiet
Before I have to stretch my rhymes or at least try it

I have a rule not to write on weekends. Used to write every day, but it was burning me out fast. Remember to relax and have fun sometimes too. Then you can start strong again on Monday.

>>19279560
One of you psychos in this thread did a short story about a child raping another child, so considering where we are that’s not a bad position.

Can you write if you’re incapable of love and undeserving of it?

>>19280538
Onision did.

>>19280538
Just write about trains or something

>>19280538
that's the plot of evangelion

>>19280538
Can't fail with cute anime girl lesbians

>>19280552
I seem to recall the ultimate conclusion of Evangelion was “just get a wage job and live with your waifu.”
>>19280578
Anime writing is forbidden here. Leave.

>>19280595
But then wg would die

>>19278980
Pretty derivative...the sort of thing that gets posted to Reddit all the time.

Also, shies -> shoes

>>19279174
best -> beast
desired -> desires
words just -> words or just
judgement -> judgment

Overall...it's the sort of thing that gets posted to Reddit all the time.

>>19279208
killed mercilessly killed -> mercilessly killed
"before I strangled him": I assume you meant "before I could strangle him"?

I'm not sure why people post their fiction here when it's the sort of thing that gets posted to fiction-oriented subs on Reddit all the time. Just go there.

>>19280702
>>19280729
>>19280745
tfw youre obsessed

>>19280745
Nothing wrong with getting multiple opinions from different audiences.

>>19280729
>.it's the sort of thing that gets posted to Reddit all the time.
Maybe you should go back there.

Do people even read anymore? Seems the only art that makes money nowadays is rap/pop music and marvel movies.

>>19280766
I work in a library, people read a lot.

>>19280766
i know i don't read, that's for sure. but writing is fun and that's what matters.

>>19280745
did you click on the wrong thread?

>>19280787
I thought libraries were just places for homeless people to take drugs and die. I avoid my local library (Denver) because it’s notoriously little more than a homeless hostel.

>>19280865
Oh there are plenty of drug addicts, homeless people and other undesirables. I caught some teenagers fucking in the kid section last month. But there's also a lot of old people checking out books, and classes of schoolkids checking out books too.

>>19280766
Theres webnovel authors that make tons of money on Patreon. Royal road and one wbnovel subreddit I forgot the name of each have like 250k-300k users each. Literature as a whole is still alive and well: on a broader sense they're still making novels for Star wars and such.

>>19280885
How does one turn writing on Royal Road profitable? I only get like 17 hits per chapte.r

>>19281049
Purely profit angle? Isekai and lit/gamerpg is how you take the big bucks. No matter the platform though, it will boil down to pure unadulterated RNG hitting the jackpot so to speak

>>19280766
you don't need marvel-level profits, you need enough money to not die.

>>19281065
No. Not purely profit. I’m writing what I want to write. I just want to find out if nobody’s reading because it’s just uninteresting or if I’m not promoting it enough.

>>19280755
They posted their work to get feedback.
I gave them feedback.
I would have loved to tell them that their work is great and that they're special...but circumstances didn't warrant it.

>>19280761
I can do both.

>>19281149
>>19281155
Okay but why don't you just stay in reddit?

>>19281158
To piss you off.

I've been sick with a bad cold for two weeks or something and I swear to God I forgot how to write. My prose has never been worse. This one part has me scratching my head but I'm too out of it to figure it out on my own. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
>There was no discernible pattern to the memories that played while he was asleep, although sometimes he thought there might be. Video clips and fragmented images projected themselves behind his eyes in a loop, often paired with the relevant audio file but not always. The roboticists at the facility described the phenomenon as ‘dreaming.’ It allowed his central processor to analyze and repurpose information from stored recollection, just like a human brain would. However useful the process, Akihiko would have removed that feature had he the choice. Reliving past events brought up too many doubts. Even now, he couldn’t help but sift through disjointed conversations in search of a nugget of truth—something, anything—that could provide answers to the questions that lingered in the back of his mind as of late.
One memory in particular rose to the surface amidst a sea of scattered thoughts. In a moment he found himself sitting in a familiar white room, just as he had done several days ago. And once again a discussion was nearing its end.
Professor Sawa leered at him from across the table, his crooked smile poised over the steaming rim of a styrofoam cup. “Why give a weapon the ability to think?” He drawled, as though amused by every syllable. “What an astute observation, Akihiko.”
“Am I not a weapon?” Akihiko tilted his head. “For the past year my purpose has been—”
“To protect, of course.”
“... I do not understand.”
“That’s why I wanted to talk to you before we shipped you off. To clear up any misunderstanding.” Sawa took a leisurely sip of black coffee before setting the cup down next to his laptop and typing. Behind him, a flatscreen monitor sputtered to life, displaying the grainy image of a man with black hair and blue eyes walking down a desolate street.
Akihiko drew his attention to it sedulously. The photograph wasn’t of the best quality, which was to be expected, as it was clearly taken discreetly. He identified what appeared to be blotches on the skin—most likely bruising, although he couldn’t tell if they were old or new. The empty street and lighting suggested early morning. The season, unclear. Overall, it was an unflattering image.
“Do you remember the subject?” Sawa asked.
“Cassian Hoshiko Baier, twenty-seven, male, raffle winner.”
“That’s right, a perfect stranger to you. Out of all the possible contestants, this person was deemed the most suitable for the mission.” Sawa said as he leaned into his chair and laced his fingers over his chest. There was a pause before he spoke again. “You’ve been asking a lot of questions recently, my dear Akihiko. I believe I know why.”
“And why is that, Master?”

Tips for writing a coming of age fantasy story about a young girl dealing with sexual maturity? I want it to be vivid/real enough on an emotional level to be slightly uncomfortable and sympathetic but also metaphorical enough to not turn a reader completely off. I'm sure there are stories that deal heavily with female archetype but I can't call anything to mind.

>>19281533
What does sexual maturity look like to you?

>>19281533
Don't mention sex at all, not even in euphamism.

>>19281533
>Young girl
>Sexual maturity
No

>>19281049
Most important, above all else, you need to release on a consistent schedule. Also there's a huge portion of the RR audience that won't even touch a book that's under like 100k words.

>>19281533
Sounds like you'll need some real world experience for that one

>>19281605
>>19281606
>>19281620
I'm not making smut, that's not the point. I want to capture her innocence and then slowly pull that away from her throughout the story while she desperately hangs on to the remaining threads. As for her sexual maturity, I'm just trying to get deeper into the mind of an archetypal girl. She has to deal with her place in the circle of life, but as a guy I really don't know how that affects the mind of a child early on. Can you help me or not?

>>19280702
no offense but this seems like a hollow critique. even the guy who called me esl gives me a point that I'm being boring. I don't have the faintest clue what "this gets posted to reddit all the time" even means? Just say basic or common, but at least say something I can work with, if it pleases you.

>>19281670
Well at least I have maintained that. Although some faggot on a discord said my chapter every other week schedule was too slow. I’m just trying to keep my (dozen or so) readers from feeling overwhelmed (my chapters average 5k words.)

>>19281747
Then yes, basic or common.
My point was that Reddit gets a lot of stuff like this posted to it, and none of it stands out either.

>>19281828
have you considered making a critique not based on internet stereotypes, but instead based on writing principles?

>>19281716
Ok so you want to write a story about a female character but you have no idea what to do. You could google the solution to your problems and get opinions from actual women about the stories they like, or you could come here. Women lie about the things they want, so you were wise to come here. I happen to be writing a dumb teenage girl as my protagonist too, but I do not consider it to a coming-of-age story so I might now know anything helpful.
Start from the basics. You do not know what a good female story looks like, but you do know what a good male story looks like. Boy gets called by a higher purpose, so he goes off on a quest to slay the dragon and save the princess. The important bits are that he is making a sacrifice of himself so that he can overcome something that threatens the well-being of someone he cares about. Along the way, he loses his innocence and learns what it means to be a man. This is the classic formula because protecting the weak is a common male fantasy.
Now ask yourself what the female equivalent of that might be. Where a man would actively seek to protect the weak, women would prefer to nurture the weak so that they might one day be strong. Where a man goes on a journey to save the princess, women would rather be the princess who determines which men are worthy of her presence. Take for instance Twilight, in which Belle has to choose between the bad boy werewolf and the pretty boy vampire. She flirts with the wolf for a while but eventually settles with the vampire because bad boys don't make good husband material.
Of course, also remember that women don't know what they want. Men don't care who the protagonist is. If the story is good, the story is good and they will read it. But if you take a character like Mulan and give her a story that is more typical of male fantasies, you end up with something that both men and women like. Because women are that easily influenced.
BTW everything I just said is guesswork and bullshit

I recently started writing in much larger blocks. I can't believe how productive I am now, 1,500-2,000 words per day of what I would consider draft quality. If only I always had this much time, but alas break is not forever.

organizing my writing docs?

I use google docs and if possble can you give me an idea of what website to use instead for organizing

However i'd like some tips on organizing your drafts, outlines, notes, ect thank you

>>19281927
you had me and lost me a few times through all that, but you gave me some good ideas to work from. I appreciate it

>>19280766
I made 15 bucks last week.

>>19281957
>asknfalksnf.docx
>aksnfoakns.docx
>goksndaoknsf.docx
etc, then sort by date

>>19282132
already doing that, things are getting a little messy I'm trying to organize them the best i can

However because of how i name my outline, drafts, notes its getting a little confusing

I'm trying to keep them in their proper folders but its hard to not mix them up and what doc goes to what doc I'm trying to figure out how to keep them filed properly and without hassle

>main character thinks he's actively influencing his life and making his own decisions i.e. that he's an active protagonist
>turns out he was passive for most of the plot and just reacting to the antagonist's plan for hom

Shit trope or valid approach

>>19282249
Seems like a shitty plot twist that's been done a million times

>>19281957
>I use google docs
zoomer cancer

>>19282249
the question isn't about shit trope or not, the question is how creatively can you pull it off

>>19282283
name 500 stories that did this

>>19282547
Bleach counts as 500 stories because of how many characters it has

>>19281957
I use an outline editor called TreeLine.
It's free and open-source, too.

>>19281886
Yes, but I was trying to be nice.

>>19282249
Don't even think of it as a trope. Proactivity is just one aspect that go into likeability of a character. Passive characters that are competent and sympathetic can still be quite likeable. Plus, with a passive character you have a great moment in your back pocket: when at just the right moment your character takes initiative. Well-timed moments can surprise, make readers cheer and respect the protag for succeeding to take initiative after all the times they failed to.

Reposting from another thread. I think ill incorporate this as a tv show that characters in my other book watch

https://pastebin.com/dDNz1Ezj

I'm thinking on making a comedic satire. Is it better to be incredibly absurd or just bordering the lines of inanity that you can almost see people buying in something so insane?

>>19283119
Use the latter to achieve the former. Make the reader feel like the crazy one

>>19283105
>He climbed out of his ashy pile to walk toward the song, and finally met a man clothed in the essentials, the bare essentials. He had no shirt, very loose fitting sweatpants and a lack of shies.
I think everything about this could be reworded better.

Lines 3 to 5 I feel you could combine into one paragraph, maybe 6 as well. Lines 26-27 could be merged into the same paragraph. Line 29 can either be with 28 or with 30+31. Same deal with 33 and 34. Same thing with 35 and all the stuff after that. Basically don't be shy of combing dialogue and other actions.

>He motioned to a road that gradually increased in color
What kind of color? You mention its colorful again, but don't specify. What's the color? White? Gray? Pink? Blue?

>The boy stared down the two roads. Even at simply looking down the ashen trail,
I feel like this could be reworded better.

Can we have another general for writers who have actually been published? I feel the disparity between skill levels is too large for meaningful improvement here, and I'd like to discuss craft with other writers who aren't complete novices. Absolutely no disrespect intended, but there comes a point where you stop improving in the little leagues.

>>19283165
Sure but be the change you want to see since nobody else will probably do it, as if there not being one by now after a year of activity isn't telling enough. Not keen on the idea of balkanizing interests but you do you.

>>19283105
You've posted the same story in this thread in multiple different formats. It isn't very good. You don't read regularly and it's obvious. You are currently nowhere remotely near publishable quality, your work is full of cliches, stilted dialogue, uninspired descriptions and clunky prose, not to mention scores of spelling errors. Go dedicate time to reading every day and pay attention to how the authors construct sentences, paragraphs, chapters, and stories - that is, pay attention on both the macro and micro level. You need to go back to basics and learn from the ground up because this is honestly atrocious. I would recommend reading Flaubert's 'Madame Bovary', Joyce's 'Portrait of the Artist' and 'Dubliners', Nabokov's 'Lolita', Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness', the short stories of Anton Chekhov and Ernest Hemingway, and - if you can handle them - Eliot's 'Middlemarch', Proust, and Henry James. Dedicate time to reading a chunk of prose a day until you've finished these novels/short stories. I would also suggest you diversify by throwing in the occasional poem, and also reading essays (Montaigne/Orwell/Woolf/DFW are all enjoyable essayists).

>>19272520
I made an audio recording of my story, it's about 21 minutes and if you like anything to do with bronze age civilizations or beautiful characters and landscapes, listen to it.
https://vocaroo.com/1hG2uLpuVmrG

New week comes lads, a new chapter to write.

How do you avoid using onomatopoeia -- or even "Huh?" expressions when some noise takes a character by surprise? I feel like i've already overused this tool for the situations in my plot, so having some variety could improve it.

>>19283244
>9 soon to be 10 days since the last chapter published
>current chapter wip is unusually slower than the norm
The past increases, future receding, regrets mounting... getting more anxious by the hour wgbros

>>19283278
stop watching anime and read a fucking book.

>>19283339
Is there any occasion where this isn't sound advice for improving your wordcraft one-thousand percent?

>>19283376
zero. even literal writers for anime in japan suck if all they read/watch is manga/LN/anime. anime writers who read actual literature always produce a better product. otaku who try to write produce regurgitative garbage.

i'm seeing too much about "anime writing" on /wg/ and it's cringe and needs to stop. this isn't a place for 14 year olds. and i say that as someone who has watched over 300 series.

The horde of anime writers inspired by their latest isekai moeblob fucking ruined /wg/.

>>19281289
Is there anything that I can do to salvage this? Sorry for being a pain.

Don't read western books, read superior chinese ones.

>>19281289
It's not awful, and I can't break down everything because it's 2am here and I'm going to sleep, but the biggest thing to improve is over-description. Trust the reader. Let them imagine. 'Professor Sawa leered at him from across the table, his crooked smile poised over the steaming rim of a styrofoam cup' could just be 'Sawa leered at him', or 'Sawa smiled over a steaming cup', or something. you get my gist. All throughout, tone it down. Also the dialogue is a little stilted. And remove the ellipsis from the dialogue, if you feel you have to communicate it then put 'she paused.' before the 'I do not understand', or 'I do not understand,' she said, after a brief pause.' or something. anyway best of luck

>>19283195
i accept it. Thanks anon.
>>19283157
thanks anon. Your specificity helps.

>>19283522
Any advice on making Chinese or even Japanese names for characters? I'm not that familiar with the way their language works. I know someone that translates and interprets Chinese and Japanese folklore and philosophy, so I was going to jump into some of those books at some point and see what I might learn.

>>19283591
Japanese names are interesting because 95% of the time there is a clear etymology behind them. If you want an authentic japanese name, it's usually something like a geographic descriptor for a last name and Xth born or some virtue for a first name. Anime characters are often just flat out named stuff like the equivalent of Mainhero Protagonistchad or Secondarygirl Mysteriouscool though.

>>19283591
look up kanji
mash some symbols together until you have something that looks cool
bam, you got a name
when in doubt, name him yoshi

>>19283591
>I know someone that translates and interprets Chinese and Japanese folklore and philosophy

Surely asking that guy would be a good place to start

>>19283591
>>19283605
Far more complicated is ancient Japanese names, though. For starters, a change in status usually meant a change in name. For example, becoming a retainer to a samurai from a commonborn position meant you had to call yourself a new name because your old peasant name is passe. It was also common to then take a character from your new overlord as part of your new name. If your master died though you now had the trouble of being named after him so you'd have to change your name unless you wanted to continue his fight against his enemies.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/45949/the-man-without-a-name

>>19283522
I despise chinese novels due to their spaced character names that also end up sounding too similar to each other, making me scratch my head to remember whoever it is referring to.
That one famous gacha coincidentally had the easiest names to remember because they didn't fall into either of these holes.

>>19283621
As a random aside, the reason why Popes change their name is because originally priests were locked into their placement, geographically speaking. Becoming a cardinal in Rome or the Pope himself meant they were breaking the rules, so they changed their name to say "well Johan can't be Pope in Rome but Benedict can."

>>19283522
>"Mn?'
Am I supposed to be impressed

>>19283195
ah ouch oof ouche ouchie
still hurts

>>19281049
It's hard to market yourself on these shit writing sites that are full of ESLs who claim to love reading but only read stuff on trending and litrpg. The best you can do is focus on writing rather than seeking fame so the quality of your writing doesn't go down when you're trying to pump out a chapter every week. I try reading the stuff anons made on RR and recommending them to people whenever there's a recommendation thread that pops up.

>>19283591
fucking don't make one up. use a baby name or historical record site you faggot.
>>19283764
>litrpg
cringe

>my fiction could perfectly fit in the litRPG mechanics and get guaranteed bucks plus popularity headstart from Royalroad
>the downside is that story would suffer heavily from all the added filler talk/panels about stats and shit
Do i take the shot and add the litRPG elements into it, anons? Please tell me there's another way; other sites might have their favoritism set onto different genres, right?

>>19283862
I've seen some names in Asian fantasy that are partially from historic etymology, but repackaged to give a different feel and meaning. I see nothing wrong with straying away from given names if I can understand how the names are made in the first place. Most character names I've done so far were put together the way you suggested. Actually really like Dutch names.

>>19283900
There are progression fantasy genres other than litrpg

>>19283900
I have a story like this I'm slated to start after a few. However, I'm resisting the urge to go into litRPG as I think the numerical aspect would detract from the magic system. Although the magic manifests as elemental powers, the system involves abstracts like yearning. I fear readers would miss more abstract points about why someone doesn't work when numbers are involved.
At the very least, I want to lean toward "rule of cool" in the story since there's magic involved. I do want to preserve my voice of telling dark and quaint stories and not go full animefag though.

>editing for cohesion and adding additional material
>get to one of the first sections I had written
>tone is completely different to the point of the mismatch being a smack in the face
It's so painful

>>19283540
Thank you so much! I think the dialogue is the worst part and I know it doesn't sound natural, but I'm at a loss on how to improve it without dragging the scene on forever. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to give me some criticism, anon.

>>19283933
Oh shit, there's more?

>Anyone can imagine the mood after a suicide attempt so there's no need to waste two pages on explaining it. You must read too much Hemingway.
How do you respond to criticism like this?

I've been writing some short stories recently, all futuristic scifi/fantasy

Here's two of the shorter ones
https://pastebin.com/4gS0qMbw
https://pastebin.com/yNTm06uY

>>19272520
Who here uses pomodoro timers or sprinto bot?

>>19283591
Just steal names from a classic novel like the romance of the three kingdoms

>>19284255
>no fuck u

>>19284290
But anon it's true that it was two pages (with double-spaces) and it's also true I once read a Hemingway book that talked about suicide (For Whom the Bells Toll). He's got my number.

>>19284255
Cut it down to one page, and make it interesting. Focus on one melancholy, absurd detail that the reader will remember.

>>19284195
Litrpg, xianxia, xuanhuan, "western cultivation" stories. Superhero stories can sometimes be progression fantasy if the characters need to grow into their power. Lots of manga/anime is structured like this. Then there are some stories that are more or less based on RPG mechanics but the characters themselves don't express it in those terms even as they're progressing, such as Mother of Learning or Forge of Destiny.

>>19284303
what do you think if an entire novel is melancholic?

>>19284338
Would feel somewhat one note, need highs to make the lows hit harder. That's basic rising and falling action.

>>19284338
Any examples?

>>19284298
How mad are you about it? If not at all,
>Thanks for the feedback
>You are very knowledgeable
>I hope you enjoyed the rest of the piece
If you think he's spouting out his ass and needs to shut the fuck up about how many books he's read,
>You're a psued
>Don't read shit you don't like
>I hope you choke

>>19283195
seems a tad harsh anon

Tell me your edgiest story ideas.

>>19283105
Hopefully a more useful critique. You have too much flavor text that lacks flavor, your prose takes up a lot of space but doesn't add much new information. You need to treat each sentence not as passing but as fabric of the story itself, it's very structure and syntax being interesting details. Don't include details that are ordinary or non-descriptive like you do at the start. Simply put, make your prose imaginative rather than just take up page.

>>19284362
I'm not mad, just disappointed in myself.

>>19284393
Don't know if it's my edgiest but I've been sitting on it for the longest:
High school suicide club where everybody ruins as many lives as possible before the club members all kill themselves. Each chapter captures the last moments of each of them until everyone's dead. Terrorism, rape, torture, etc.

>>19284411
that actually helps. I'll see if I can polish up what I have to see if I can apply what you mean. I thought that maybe the "every sentence must add or else it shouldn't exist" thing was a meme but I can see how I might be wrong there.

How's the start of my new novel desu ka?
>Egbert and I done walk from the hotel, staggering on sidewalk in tandem now. Although I am several metres ahead of him, anyone watching us from the station can view Egbert’s flayed and broken facial skin a pinker hue than my own.
>The sidewalk is obtuse as a rock-ridge, worn down by erosion and baked in the Summer, between the rubbish rows of discarded bottles, to the station at four soft right angles and goes on across the town again, worn so by force of gales’ winnowing.
>The hotel is of corrugated iron, metal of which the rust has long collected. Square, with a wave-like roof set at on a slant, it leans in void and glistening dereliction in the sunlight, not a single window on the iron walls which sees no maw of the sidewalk.

>>19284393
everyone who falls asleep one night in a town dies, local insomniac gets blamed for it

>>19284393
When I was 14, I wrote a story called "Rosa Parks: The Untold Story" which was basically Rosa Parks acting like an entitled modern ghetto bitch. I commend myself for recognizing that she was technically sitting in the black part of the bus when she was asked to get up, except in my story the back part was a constant "Soul Train" style party.

>>19284448
what the fuck? are you serious?

>>19284475
Yessir. What's the matter?

>>19284393
Revenge story about an old racist white dude who hunts down and murders klan members for a personal vendetta, not because they deserve it.

>>19284479
Not him, but almost every single word of this contradicts the one that came before it, either in terms of grammar or plain description. It's like a calculated effort to write the most confusing and obtuse description possible.

The first half of the first sentence reads like stream of consciousness from a Deep South retard, and this impression casts a long shadow over the rest of the excerpt. I can't quite shake the feeling that our narrator suffers from some kind of mental disability, despite his elevated vocabulary.

>>19284531
Well, the fact you can't even recognise that it's reworded Faulkner shows that you're a puhsood. I didn't expect much from here, but you guys have absolutely authority on writing whatsoever.

>>19284536
spottem and gottem

>>19284536
>reworded
damn, what the fuck? why'd you catch us out like that by taking perfectly understandable sentences and replacing them with contrived retardation?

are you trying to make us look bad or something?

>>19284581
Cope.

>>19284536
I recognized it. I can't believe you think you're clever because you caught the dumbest anon in the room. Stick to misquoting classics on R*ddit, I'm sure they'll find you much more enchanting.

>>19284536
>reworded Faulkner
If you change every word on every line to mean something entirely different, then what is it if not a different thing entirely?

>>19272520
Hey, /wg/.

I have a crucial problem that gives me writer's blocks and hinders my ability to write fluidly: I noticed that I detail literally every little action. For example, Character A can't suddenly meet up with Character B in a few sentences. I must writer Character A dressed, how they opened the house door, what was the distance of the walk from the front door to the car, they got in their car (while worrying how they opened the car door), then met up with Character B.- basically I am obsessed with action and movement. It's not detailed in the sense that it is beautiful and filled with purple prose. It's detailed in the sense that it's cumbersome and boring to read. Any tips how to shake off this habit? Any book recommendations?

>>19284641
Reddit is better than this place full of puhsoods.
>>19284900
The idea was to keep the same rhythm and the content can be changed where the form remains the same.

>>19284536
nigger you changed "anyone can see his hat a full head above my own" to "anyone can view his skin a pinker hue than my own" and you thought that still worked? how esl are you?

>>19284255
he's telling you you're writing something everyone has read before but worse. solution: don't do that

>>19284915
>Any book recommendations?
yeah try "how to select shit and press delete" volumes one to twelve. if you've already identified which parts need to go and why then what are you even asking?

>>19284959
your idea is shit and your execution worse. The rhythm is clunky and stilted, the content incoherent, and the form nonexistent. I hope you drown in the next load of cum deposited in your throat.

>>19285227
Because I feel that my sense of narrative and time are completely messed up.

>>19285244
all i can see is that you've determined that parts of your writing are boring and serve no function, and you've found the solution (delete all that shit and write "A drove to meet B"), but for some reason instead of just doing it you're asking strangers for permission.

>>19285242
Is that an animeposter lecturing me on anything, even something about literature? Go away.
>>19285193
I literally have a degrees in English literature, where you have absolutely no education whatsoever in anything.

>>19285309
>I literally have a degrees in English literature, where you have absolutely no education whatsoever in anything.

>>19285309
>I literally have a degrees in English literature
sure, from a university that overlooks a designated shitting street. i'm sorry my brown friend, but no piece of paper can cover up your basic ineptitude with the language.

>>19285345
I'm also published and won university prizes, but I'm sure some unwashed retard on 4chan knows better than me.

>>19285379

He really got under your skin, didn't he?

>>19285381
Samefaggot.

>>19285386

Look, I know all of us "whiteyz" look the same to you, but I can assure you I'm different than the other guy. I would have criticized your work with more tact.

>>19285379
>won university prizes
what do they pay out in? bananas, chunks of coal, basic medicine?

>>19285391
>click post number
>[enter]
>yep, now it's time to post!

>>19285393
Prestige, something that you have no ability to sense, you hillbilly. It holds a lot of sway, here in Ceylon.

>>19285400
the image of a clan of srilankan poo-in-a-loos sitting in a circle and giving each other fake awards for substituting words in their library's single shit-smeared copy of faulkner is pretty great. someone should write an absurdist novel about it (not you).

>>19285309
>I literally have a degrees

>>19284581
>>19284641
>>19284900
>>19285193
>>19285242
>>19285327
>>19285345
>>19285425
Here's my real novel starting line, then. Try to parse it, if you can.
>Rajesh watched himself make and unmake a fist.

>>19285425

Congratulations, you have just one the prestigious Ahmedabad Polytechnic Agricultural Institute's Award for Excellence in Electronic Microliterature.

>>19285427
don't laugh at him, he has at least ninety eight degrees, even more if he drinks local water unboiled

>>19285450
More educated than you, white boy.

>>19285456
>Ph.D in Arts
The world's most expensive toilet paper, I'm impressed

>>19285435
>...and the sticky brown fecal matter with some chunks of his last meal still discernible in its rich rainbow of brownish hues smeared itself all over his fingers. he displayed the stained palm proudly to passing strangers. to relieve himself indoors--to break the proud tradition of joyful public defecation--was untinkable to rajesh, a degenerate custom the westerners would never, ever force him to accept.

>>19285477
You say this on a literature board, how curious. Are you some uneducated numpty who LARPs as a reader and (dare I e'en say it?) writer, in your spare time?

>>19285481
>>19285477
>>19285456
>you need to pay someone tens of thousands of dollars so you can read a book
Kek

>>19281065
>litrpg
Every day I discover new and more wonderful forms of autism

>>19285486
I'm an International student and worked very hard to get where I am. I paid thousands out of my pocket without student loans just to learn what you Westerners have for free. And now when I'm at the top, with a professorship in sight, I will be paid back for my hard efforts. Shiva has blessed me for being faithful.

>>19285497
lmao Shiva doesn't exist retard

>>19285502
By Vishnu, I will give you a thousand lashings. Damn your eyes, you cur. I shall have you up against a wall and whip your arse, vermillion and raw. This is my faith, have some respect, you white dog.

>>19285456
i can't stop laughing. turns out a member of the intellectual elite of a third world country, the absolute best a whole island of browns can produce, is not a good enough writer to impress even a 4chan thread full of videogame-playing teenagers.

>>19285508
You are a peasant, from the lowest caste of white people. I would spit on you if I cared enough to degrade a lowly worm.

I know this is kinda posting at the threads end i will repost this on the next thread if possble

But do you guys have any tips for under writers?

>>19285522
Of course you go straight to castes. It's all you people care about in Oogabooga Bananaland.

>>19285606
I can't bake next bread because I'm at w*rk. Go on without me wggers.

>>19285203
But I don't know how to not do that!

I need to write something that's guaranteed to get published. I don't care about quality or integrity, but I need to get trad pub. What do I do?

>>19285927
Answer calls for submissions with certain easy themes like feminism, climate change, woke stuff, or anything like that, especially stuff like personal experience and trauma. It's how I got trad published.

>>19285927
Clickbait articles for vidya websites.

>>19285927
What you meet a girl at a bar and lie about being a published author? lmao good luck dude.

>>19285954
Write about this exact scenario.

What's the img / bump limit on this board?

>>19285927
The dark side is seemingly easier, but not better.

>>19284448
Here are the parts that didn't register:
>Egbert and I done walk
>in tandem now.
>several metres (I'm American)
>a pinker hue than my own
>The sidewalk is obtuse as a rock-ridge (no idea what this means)
>worn down by erosion and baked in the Summer (what?)
>to the station at four soft right angles (what?)
>and goes on across the town again (what?)
>worn so by force of gales’ winnowing. (?)
>The hotel is of corrugated iron, metal of which the rust has long collected. (this is understandable but not described well)
>Square, with a wave-like roof set at on a slant, (I kind of understand this sentence but it could be written clearer)
>it leans in void and glistening dereliction in the sunlight, not a single window on the iron walls which sees no maw of the sidewalk. (Very confusing sentence; also idk what "maw" means)

>>19285910
just like write good bro. just b urself

>>19286066
Should I write autofiction like Army Memoir Anon?

>>19286025
The times I bumped ur mom last night

>>19286065
Don't think too hard about it, anon was just trolling us.

I need structure.
>t.beginner, talentless newb. No skills.
>Want to learn how to write well so I can express myself, my ideas, and thoughts effectively.
>I need some structure, a pathway, anything.
>What should I do so I can progressively get better at writing?
>EX: If you wanted to learn math as a newb, you'd probably want to start with Lang's Basic Math, Gelfrand's algebra and trigger books, do all the exercises, practice alot and go from there. I want something similar; a guide to a list of books, how long I should practice, how to improve, how should I split my time between writing and reading other books.
Pls help.

>>19286627
1. Stop using meme arrows

Is there a correlation between being a good writer and being a compulsive liar? Or did I just fall for one too many posts where people here brag about using subreddits like AITA for creative writing?

>>19283307
You will make it, bro, just sit and write.

>>19286627
Use books in the OP. Listen to podcasts with longtime writers, I recommend Writing Excuses. Do writing prompts once a week. Read a short story, poem, and/or essay on a daily basis. Write every day. Yes, every day for hours. Use Q&A format to spark your creativity. Dont rewrite Ch 1 repeatedly, finish a story first. Be patient, you have a lot to learn but thankfully dont need to be perfect to tell a good story.

>>19286653
>who are you quoting?

>>19286656
Compulsive? No.
Good? Yes.
To be a good liar you need to keep your story straight and make sure it works around any constraints that could blow it up, much like introducing a new plot point.

>>19286653
LOL

Why are short stories so flat? I read an article by this dude who pointed out that 99% of them are awfully boring.

http://www.wetasphalt.com/content/why-i-hate-short-stories-short-article-why-short-fiction-short-interest

Having attempted to write some of my own, I've noticed that it doesn't have the same "spark" that my novel has.

>>19272520
New New New!

>>19286828
>>19286828
>>19286828