/lit/ - Literature

You will die in your lifetime.

>>19173562

>>19173548
>i disagree with your statement, let me explain why i disagree....
>OMG BE HONEST WITH UR SELF YOURE SO AUTISTIC YOU CANT DO ANYTHING BUT INSULT ME [insert 10 paragraph long posts of your own making containing raving personal attacks with no argument in sight]

im going to bed now, good night. if you calm down and have something to say ill check this thread in the morning. lord knows you've had plenty of time to say something coherent already.

>>19173562
I feel out of this world right now. In my room above my house in the attic, sitting here in the morning with my coffee with the sun barely rising, I am surrounded by stimulus and technology. On my screen is something that is meant to invigorate me, on my side is something that is meant to flash out to me. Colors on a high-tech computer that pander to the mind of a four year old with the rainbow cascade. And around me is nothing but a hollow desk, a few speakers, a book on the side, and a trucker hat. The room is large yet sparse, no posters align it; and I come to realize one thing.

It is empty, everything around me is empty right now. As I type this I feel an emotional connection perhaps with spilling out, and my shitty writing becoming of interest, but nothing will truly connect me to this world. I am out of my body, I am out of my state, I don't know what it is. I am disillusioned with the modern world and everything that has come with it. I want an escape, I need an escape out of this. I am not the human that I am meant to be, I feel as though I was transported from another timeline into this one. I do not feel invigorated anymore, I feel emptiness and dread. I have felt this since I was a child, a connection with nature and everything apart of it. I have become devoid of nature though, devoid of what has made me human, and I have sunken myself knees deep into technology and it all. I hate it and I want an out. I cannot pull it together though, I cannot bring myself to struggle out of this technological fucking hellscape I am in with Soviet-esque prefab housing in a colonial style known as suburbia. I am trapped in quicksand and am reaching my hand out. I as well constantly worry and pesker myself about whether I seem to stupid, whether I will get shit for it on the internet, whether those around me in the real world will care for me, whether this post and everything around it is useful. Maybe somebody will call me a pseudo for my shitty writing, which is absolutely correct. I worry now and drift into my own thoughts of whether this writing piece here is even worthy of anyone's attention, or whether I look stupid or smart. I need to present myself, mentally dress myself up.

I fucking hate it. Laugh and caw at this post all you want, as I reflect right now on this entire pile of shit I just typed out without even thinking. I am conditioned to my world and I am entrapped; I want an out.

Went to checkup in hospital due to my heart palpitations, they can't see the problem except higher than average heart rate and blood pressure. But I feel like it's killing me.

https://youtu.be/dJEngIaeEso

I miss the anon who would post:
>x days until L'Académie
with pic related.

It was so comfy, bros...

It's been months since her last reply but I'm still in love as if it's the first day. What is this curse?

books are my only friends. but i wish i had someone to share them with. reading makes me feel even lonelier.

>>19173796
Now htat L'Académie is out, are there even any other new releases to get hyped for?

>>19173832
Do you think that's bad? I'm in love with someone in a relationship.

>>19173771
I pretend I'm imprisoned inside a dungeon and treat it like some Count-of-Monte-Christo anime-training montage where calisthenics and difficult reading agonize the chrysalis, one day to reemerge and look at nature eye-to-eye. Learn to love your cell

>>19173796
Andy Chamalé is a nice touch, never noticed that before.

>>19173832
Love is an awful feeling. Why would anybody want to be in love?

>>19173873
Dunno, bro. I just liked the post.

>>19173832
>>19173877
I was unironically in love with someone that doesn't talk with me since months and is in a relationship. But I'm getting over it.
Now I just need to tell her to delete my contact and it'll be over.

>>19173796
Do you have the non-Waldun version of your pic?

>>19173930
There's this one with the notebook.

>>19173789
it's probably just myocharditis from the vaxx. it's rarely fatal, don't worry about it.

>>19173915
>I was unironically in love with someone that doesn't talk with me since months and is in a relationship. But I'm getting over it.
In my case, I cannot afford to stop talking to her because she's one of my best friends. I've recovered to a degree but I still relapse at times. The only way to cope with this situation is that she might become single again but what if she doesn't? That's why I must get over her somehow without cutting off contact.

>>19173940
This will do and you shall sleep another night peacefully.

>love my tsar
>love my rifle and bible
>suka blyat

>>19173789
get anxiety meds before you go crazy, also go for a run and sleep lots.

>>19173941
I had myocarditis a few years ago. It really sucked.

>>19173950
Also found this. You can edit the book/background for your liking.

>>19173946
Good luck with that, fren.

>>19173877
>>19173915
My problem is that I can't help but not lose hope. I keep thinking that, maybe, maybe, once I'm in a better position in a few years if I try again it might work out. I realize it's juvenile thinking at best but I can't convince myself to move on.
>>19173911
It certainly gives you a taste of Hell if it doesn't favor you.

>>19173980
Thanks, fren.

>>19173997
If I had to guess, she's an ex who stopped talking to you however you hope that you might try again with her someday?

this should be the sticky

>>19174035
>reading is schizophrenia
oh okay

Not having a good day. Today I was very unfocused. I only read one book (130 pages) and tried to start another but I couldn't. Didn't do much Chinese study. Tried watching a movie but I couldn't make it past a few minutes. I went to bed four times today and sleep about an hour each time. I got some new books in the mail but I don't know which one to start with. Took a lot of sleeping pills so I can sleep tonight but they are not working yet.

how is it the nobel prize just awards it to multiple dudes if it feels like it. should this double award be read as "giogio parisi is the real winner but we have to virtue signal so we gave another one to these global warming guys too". will they be giving the nobel prize in literature to multiple winners too?

>>19174066
What’s your sleep schedule like? Do you spend time outside and get exercise every day? Days like those will be much less frequent if you always wake up in the morning and go for a nice long walk.

one of the more ghastly predictions for the endtimes is that toward the end, people will commit murder, and the victim will be asked "what were you killed for?" and he will not know, and the killer will be asked "what did you kill for?" and he will not know.

>>19174124
Do you think we are close?

>>19174127
another prediction is tha tpeople will start having sex in public places, and the decent people that remain will be those who tell them "isn't there somewhere else you could be doing that?" and I think that is basically happening, but ultimately I wouldn't want to wager a guess as to how it really is, I don't know

>>19174127
another prediction is that women will go to the market dressed indecently

>>19174141
>and I think that is basically happening
hell, I've probably been guilty of it.. maybe even on a number of occasions, although very long ago

>>19174111
My sleep schedule is usually okay. Everyday I walk to the post office. I exercise when I remember to, or when I have a more structured day.

>>19173832
Imagine being emotionally attached to a text message.

>>19174141
>>19174145
Some Islamic prophecies:
>Escalation of chaos and weakening of people's faith
>Taking the positions of the management of the society by incompetent people
>The obedience of men from their wives
>Disappearance of modesty among women and children
>Prevalence of usury
>Men's needlessness of women and women's needlessness of men
These are some of the things that happen before the reappearance of the Mahdi.
https://en.wikishia.net/view/End_Time

>>19174186
I've been there. Heart skips a beat every time your phone makes a sound. It's fucking awful.

>>19174206
I know how you feel, anon.

Naivety kills. Never think you understand something fully
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1pdvV_gT6I

I got a sharp pain in my testicles and got so frightened thinkinh maybe its testicular torsion or worse. For 30 minutes I was laying down in pain thinking maybe it can untwist itself ot settle down. Then I finally got the courage to check with my hands. Turns out my ball hair somehow tied to a piece of string from my underwear, and the hair was getting pulled as I moved.

I use a fork to relieve myself of bodily itchiness.

>>19174320
Never understand what fully? that animals can't follow christian or humanist morality?

>>19173562
Arent you guys worried about posting on 4chan? Cant your ISP see all the websites you have been on? Is there any way to post without ISPs knowing? Would College campus care if im on 4chan using their network?
Sorry about the stupid questions but l want to start reading more and /lit/ seems to be the best place on the internet for that but its on 4chan and i dont want to get into trouble especially since im in university.

>>19174376
Use a VPN if you don't want your university knowing. If they really cared they would have blocked it already. Or just post from your phone. Good reccs can be had here but also a lot of pseud posting. Get a recc and get off lit until you finish it and come back for more. Enjoy college don't spend all of it reading

>>19174352
The idea is that people always think they understand things better than they do and get killed by it you pathetic fucking reddit ideologue.
Its true in all facets of humanity. Really not that hard to understand. dont @ me. Im tired of spoonfeeding faggots like you who think theyre smarter than they are because they took an IQ test online once

miscegenation is wrong and abhorent

>>19174405
said a product of it

I'm actually starting to understand deleuze

> said something dishonest and careerist are work to be nice and fit in again
I hate myself

>>19173562
twitter scolds and sjws are more christian than most 'christians'
they view weakness and suffering as signs of moral virtue and are obsessed with the notion that 'what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him `unclean'

Completely apathetic at the moment and cannot get into anything. Even rereading fiction i find myself skimming. Got a bunch of books on my kindle that i stopped within 50 pages. Started half a dozen tv shows and stopped within 20 mins.

How much money would you want saved before you quit your job without a backup plan?

>>19174376
Nobody cares that much. Also 4chan was blocked at my college lol

>>19174515
>Nobody cares that much.
>Also 4chan was blocked at my college lol
you know this two things are irreconcilable, dont you?.
also, how the fuck that happened?. people really think 4chan are nazis plotting against the governemnt or something?. i live in a world where this shitty website is censored by neo-puritans. what a time we live.

I honestly think I trapped myself into my job. I have an eocnomics degree and work as a financial analyst. I despise it. I want to do something else, but I have no skills and my degree doesn’t lend itself to anything else in particular.

I don’t want to work in sales, marketing, anything like that. I don’t even want to work in corporate. I thought maybe I could be a teacher but as it turns out, you need an education degree and/or a certification by state. Ridiculous.

Wtf else am I supposed to do? I regret getting this striver degree so damn much.

>>19174613
most of you are literally nazis, jump into any political thread and see for yourself.

>>19174510
Enough money you can subsist on until you can get another job. A rule of thumb I've heard is three months.

>>19174376
I don't care. Nobody cares.

I would quit my job to write for a while. A parent has offered to let me stay with them, rent free. What’s stopping me? My 30 year old NEET brother who still lives there and in fact never left. Can’t have two useless 30 yo male NEETs in the house.

>>19174700
I’ve put aside $15k and have no fixed monthly expenses. But that’s all I’ve got. If I burn through that, I’ve got nothing.

Even therapist said that a genuine relationship could do wonders for me well being. However im almost a wizard without any experience. Maybe theres no good ending for me.

>>19174510
Enough to last you till 120.
Or enough to last you till we replace capitalism
The only other option is to steal back more of the shit from assholes that literally don’t need it because they have enough saved up for a lavish lifestyle past the age of 500. It’s a stupid fucking game

>>19174714
Breaking out of this wizard thing, anon.
You can do it.

>>19174727
I'll say what i said to the therapist
>i feel like im an empty man and establishing intimacy would require for me to drop the act/mask and show the true me. theres nothing in me, so i'd disappoint the girl.

>>19174744
Break out of that by filling this empty man.
Make some goals, learn what you like, eat right and exercise. Learn to love yourself and make friends, hang out with them, talk with women. Adjust your perspective and become who you want to be, or who you would want to hang out with.
Doing all this, finding a girl would become secondary and maybe not even necessary

>>19174770
Thanks for reality check anon. I guess im afraid but becoming a hermit would damage me at this point. I have tendency to put myself into cocoon and get lost in mind labyrinth if im completely left alone. I feel like relations with other people bring me an material which i can use it later to better understand myself, just like watching into mirror.

>>19174694
you think is right and useful block 4chan in colleges?, really?,

>>19174826
Do they block porn sites?

>>19174714
Have you tried going inna woods and just thinking about things? Maybe you will find something in your heart.
Romance is generally overrated btw. You'd get used to it quick. Women try to push it on single men because they can never see beyond it no matter how often they do it.

>>19174858
I feel like going inna woods and thinking about things just enable my escapism and disconnection from people even more, just like being in echo chamber.
>Romance is overrated
I wouldnt know lol

>>19174376
Don’t say anything bad and no one will care. The worst thing that would happen if people saw my 4chan posts is that they would see I am very worried about climate change, and that I have a femdom fetish.

>>19173562
I feel like I did really poorly at an important job interview today. I felt good going in but got more and more nervous as it went on.

Tell me everything will be fine /lit/. I'm beating myself up over it.

>>19174879
> just like being in echo chamber
that's the point.

"Go Woods. First time in life you will notice how stupid your thoughts" - Buddha, probably.

>>19173562
>always sad that im never gonna be able to read all the books i want.
>wish i had more time to read, and motivation. >wish the internet didnt exist because its so addictive.
>wish i had /lit/ friends irl.
>wish i could grasp more concepts.
>trying to decide my major in college if i want to become a physicist or do what i really love like russian literature or linguistic anthropology.
>i should start doing drugs again
>wish i could just be an author
>wish i could keep a healthy relationship
>i wanna kms so bad
>i hate my parents
>i hate the way i look
>at least i have my books.

>>19174846
i suppose that is your retarded form to say yes.

>>19174414
wouldn't they know best of all?

>>19174196
The one Islamic prophecy which made me go “uhh… bros?” was something like “The Arabs will build towers”.
>Burj Khalifa
>Mecca Clocktower
>Jeddah Tower
o_0

>>19174965
I honestly never tried a complete retreat even for a short time. This is actually an interesting idea regarding what would my subconsciousness would show.

>>19175081
I too am a prophet. Hear my words, mortal:
>In the future, people will build bridges.
Let it be known.

4chan has improved my life. I doubt this is true for 99% of the people who frequent this site. In fact this site has probably ruined so many people and families finding out how much would be unbearable.

>>19175241
4chan made me more politically moderate. Seeing various brands of political crazies here motivates one to avoid becoming like them.

I need to become better at coming up with puns on the spot

Twinks.

>>19174963
Human affairs are not worth worrying about. I'm sure you'll be fine, anon, but don't let this world blind you.

Why am I lacking the courage to just pull the trigger and quit? I have nothing to worry about.

why do women think "who hurt you" is an argument against literally anything negative about them
it makes me irrationally angry that nobody calls this out

>>19175491
Because women are fucking stupid

Comfiest book there is. Plus the illustrations are kino.

>>19175081
The Meccah tower is particularly creepy. I don't like at all how it towers above the Kaaba.

>>19173562
writing my story proposal, would you all read this? ( i dont like house on mango street i just mentioned it for the vignette style)

>>19175569
I think you are taking the whole planning out part too seriously, yet you rely too much on other characters to describe yours. It will only start making sense after you start writing it, don't get too far ahead of yourself.

>>19174694
>most of you
no, most of YOU are

>>19175022
but all of us is they

>>19175610
holy based!

>>19175602
yeah i know, its for a class and they wanted examples based on other books and a full plan.

>>19175528
The Saudis are making mecca intentionally shopping-mall gaudy, because they don't want historical buildings to be worshipped as shrines. The Saudis destroyed all of historical mecca when they took it from the Hashemites. That's what wahabbism does to a mf.

>>19175646
Insha Allah Imam al-Mahdi will reduce all their towers and shopping malls to ashes.

>>19174667
it's not meant to be "profound", loser. it's true nonetheless

I’m more interested in German for the country and visiting, but more interested in France for the literature. I don’t know how to pick which language to learn first. Realistically, the one I choose will be the one I stick while the other will be just okay at best.

im listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FG8-ksygKc&t=10393s&ab_channel=Soop

>>19175639
Ah, that's different then. For a class this seems good. As for if I would read it, all I can say is that if it's written well, then yes. This is of course too barebones to judge the story, but I don't see anything that would turn me off from reading it.

>>19175695
I'm learning German, I'm a strong intermediate but I'm far from mastery. What I can tell you about the perspective of a learner is that there are a lot of rules and a lot of them are about seemingly pointless things, but once you learn the rules earnestly you'll run into very few surprises. Its an orderly language you can count on to behave the way you expect it to. But... you gotta memorize the rules. All of them.
I've never learned French, but I know some people who have. Its indisputable that French has a more broad aesthetic appeal but lord have mercy on anybody trying to wrap their head around it. It has lots of rules too, but with little rhyme or reason (from what I've heard, never tried it myself) compared to German's reliability

>>19173562
i keep thinking about whether my story ideas are "good writing" even though i don't particularly aspire to be a good writer, so long as i could actually bring myself to write. hours and hours spent wondering if it's acceptable to have a protagonist get a reward that they've earned emotionally but not physically, having it come about through luck because they deserve it even if in reality it would never happen. not a bit of that time spent so much as fleshing out bits of the story, or god forbid, actually sitting down and writing it..

>>19174376
I don't live on campus, I'm from Boston. I just take the bus to the other side of the city and get to come home to my family every day.

>>19175491
Who hurt you?

>>19175491
not enough beatings

>>19174613
First of all this was like 10 years ago, the culture war nonsense you allude to wasn't as big of a deal as it is now. The public perception of 4chan, to the extent that such a thing even existed, was that it was a gathering place for nerds and losers. The reason given for the block was "piracy," and at the time I was definitely finding alot of links to pirated music and movies here. Anyway, I will maintain that your ISP doesn't care that you post here, and isn't keeping a list or anything like that. Because really, 4chan is still just a gathering place for nerds and losers. Acting like it's more than that is masturbatory.

>>19175758
Not that anon. I'm also intermediate German. The thing that bothers me most is that you have to memorize one of the three genders for each word, and most of them are pretty random.

>>19175758
What you heard is incorrect. French is just much easier than German, for several reasons:
1. The vocabulary in French is much closer to English. I know that there are some simple words which are similar in German and English, but in quantity, French is much, much closer. You can guess most words, which you can't with German.
2. German word order. It's a lot more different in German than French. This makes speaking German much more difficult (for me at least), since I have to plan out the sentence before I speak.
3. German has declensions; French doesn't.

>fully lost my sence of smell and most of my sence of taste randomly
bros?

>>19175847
u've got the 'rona

>>19173562
eat out of bins + check for the past. best diet ever

>>19175851
Is this what it actually does, i feel fine otherwise?

>>19175830
Genders are a pain in the ass, and the most efficient cope I've found so far is to just learn a few thousand (2-3) words along with their gender, and from there you can kind of feel the gender of words because there are actually a lot of different (unsaid) groups. Like for example, certain time-types are always certain genders, certain types of food, certain types of ideas, words with certain endings, etc.
Yeah, it makes the language more colorful and its the duty of learners to accommodate the culture they are learning from but holy shit why can't Germans just let go of this AIDS, pic related
>>19175843
>1
Well, it is true that England and France have more shared history and cultural exchange, but English and German are both Germanic languages so there is some shared vocabulary there too. But we don't have any data on hand so we can't say who is right quantitatively, although my gut feeling says its you.
>2
My teachers just gave me a handful of word-order types and made me memorize them, and it was smooth sailing from there. Again, once you memorize the rules and hear/read/write a few thousand sentences the word order just feels right, and it goes back into my original point of just having to learn the damn rules. But yeah, that learning process did have to happen and it was work.
>3
...I hate declensions, pic related. No counterargument, other than the justlearntheruleslol argument.

>>19175880
Yeah, for many, especially young and healthy people, the most noticeable symptom is loss of smell and taste. It will probably come back at some point. For some people it took months.

>>19175891
Also forgot to bring up french spelling, which you have to admit is disastrous

>>19175908
This is kind of disappointing, where is the violent shaking and night sweating is this what we were locked for for so long? Am i even supposed to go to a doctor or something?

>>19173562
I've been obsessing a lot over my looks these last few months. Sometimes I look in the mirror, or take a photo, and look great, I've even showed those photos online and have been told that I look very cute, have posted them on some of those beauty scores, get 7 or 8/10 all the time, while other times I look horrible, and can barely look at it because of the ugliness.
I can't stop thinking about it.
I feel like a godamn woman.
How do I stop obsessing over this shit?

>>19175926
Only go to the doctor if you feel out of breath.

>>19173562
I'd like to be the one who makes mothers cry.
I'd like to be the one who makes mothers weep.

>>19173562
I drink too much.

HOLY FUCK

>>19175998
How much do you drink?

>>19175963
If you really want to stop thinking about it, you have to stop doing the associated actions like lookign in the mirror etc.

>>19175963
I don't know, I've recently lost a lot of weight and I find myself looking in the mirror all the time. Remembering that I'm attractive and my positive attributes was kind of a beautiful revelation but it's devolved into something else. It is very clearly unhealthy, there's a difference between being content with how I look at the kind of obsessing I do where my entire day is ruined if I feel that I look off.

Being aware of it, as we both are, the best we can do is to try to suffocate the urge when it arises. Either by physically distancing yourself from that which causes the urge (your phone/bathroom mirror) or by recognizing that it is unhealthy and forcing it to dissipate.

>>19175963
stop being an autistic faggot

>>19175426
I've just been informed I didn't get the job. I probably took it a little too hard. I had someone hyping me up for it for awhile. Feels bad. It's not that big of a deal I guess.

>>19173562
I like that you linked the previous thread, i always enjoy looking at the pictures

isn't this korean song very pretty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox3V2WDnnTE

>Hence poetry is something more philosophic and of graver import than history, since its statements are of the nature rather of universals, whereas those of history are singulars
Aristotle, Poetics, chap. 9, 1451b5

>>19176135
Thanks for sharing. Here's a Korean song for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGEF_hyHf8s

>>19175963
If you take photos you're going to think about it. I guess Ted would say there's nothing natural about taking photos and you should stop it.

>>19173562
Which philosophers BTFO’d Christianity?

>>19176201
sadly none

>>19176203
I had a feeling it couldn’t be BTFO’d. I don’t read philosophy btw.

Is it a mistake to do truffles in Amsterdam while I'm depressed from a breakup?

>>19176201
How can you BTFO that which is already cringe?

>>19176201
ghazali

>>19176237
No it’s not.

>>19176274

I'm having eggonomic problems. Unpaid bills, unpaid credit card, debt. Luckily money is just an illusion and not real, it has no essence in itself.

>>19176283
You can’t escape a metaphysical god at the very least.

she didn't know.
God is Lord of the Veils. But what sorrow. Mourning is a form of love.

>>19176255
have you unironically read his take? if so please elaborate

I just feel so tired and alone. My life has been nothing but an endless cycle of
1. tfw no gf
2. work
3. coom
4. repeat
I just want to meet girls and live my life instead of being a shut in. I'm getting so desperate i might just try using dating apps. Fuck my life, i just want to sleep.

>>19176317
>I just want to sleep
I feel you man. Do stuff as long as you feel like it, you'll have a lot of time to sleep later anyway.

>>19176317
make frens if possible

i got cucked into the next dimension and been stuck in the abyss ever since.

I go outside late at night and walk around on busy streets. I don't know what attracts me to it. I think it's the sense of danger. If anyone sees me they would probably call the police. But in the darkness and the quiet I know when a car is approaching before they can see me and I can hide.
I've been spotted twice. I am pretty sure the cops were called on me both times.
The first time I was near an intersection and ran, making a left turn. I stopped and assumed the approaching car would go straight but he happened to turn and I was just standing there in the road. His house was right there and he got out and watched me walk away.
Within 15 minutes cops were driving around and I had to hide every time I saw a car until I got home.
I don't know why I do this.

https://voca.ro/11fvCmGakbsR
An Apu Original
>They said it was a dangerous situation
>They said our home's the only place that's safe and
>They said it's only two weeks, well I've run out of patience
>So I tell em I'll say no to vaccernations

>They said if you don't take it then you're no good
>They said you're gonna kill the neighborhood
>Well I ain't gonna spend my life coverin up my face and
>I'll tell em I say no to vaccernation

>They tell me that I'm not allowed to come
>They tell me that I'm selfish and I'm dumb
>They tell my friends and family I'm the one they should be chasin'
>Cause I tell em I said no to vaccernation

>What I call common sense, they call misinformation
>So I called em up to say: no vaccernation

Have you ever quit a job so you could focus on learning?
I'm thinking about doing just that. I want to but I'm afraid of saying this to my manager.

I'm watching Yakusoku no Neverland with my friend. I can't wait to see her reaction on picrel.

> work remote
> maybe an hour of meetings per day
> maybe one day per week of actual work
> spend the rest of the time reading and writing, messing around
> 30 days of paid vacation
> 20 years to pension
> okay salary
> absolutely despise that hour per day and day per week along with the people I work with
> still feel like I’m wasting my life in a job I don’t want
> know I’ll never find better conditions for reading and writing
> badly want to quit
It’s really a golden handcuffs situation.

>>19176317
Try posting on 4chan more. That might help.

>>19176317
> spends all of his time in a job he hates, on the internet, and masturbating
> wonders why he’s miserable
C’mon man. You’re not even trying. Start somewhere, anywhere.

>>19176464
Why would you? The adaptation by Cloverworks is fucking trash and all butched up.

I think every time I fall for someone I become unhealthily obsessed. I'm no incel, I can get girls pretty decently, but I've fallen for someone maybe three times and this latest heartbreak is the worst by far. I've put up with being cucked, laughed at, shouted at, manipulated and I finally cut it off and blocked her last week. But the obsession rolls on and on and on. I'm writing a novel about her. Every waking moment is about her - I keep typing the word "woman" by accident when I try to type here. I am truly, truly obsessed with this cheating Chinese girl. There seems to be cosmic significance to everything she has ever said to me. Do I need psychiatric attention or what?

I hate touching people and I hate being touched.

>>19176623

That guy never said he hated his job, you projected that. My life is basically the same and I'm content. He just wants sex but he correctly hates the prospect of socializing since he recognizes that socialization is a bullshit game. And no, I didn't project those sentiments onto the other anon, it's clear by reading the post.

I went and got a suit today. Took the bus because I have no one to drive me and now I'm waiting for it to return. For a while now my mind has gone back and forth on whether I really want to graduate uni or not. If I do, I become unhappier than ever, but there's a tiny chance in like 5-10 years I'll be happier. If I don't, I drop out and become a NEET, maybe apply for disability. It is not that I can't physically or mentally endure this, but that when you're dead inside there's really no point, I'm mentally ill and don't even want a gf or career so why struggle for one?

Everyone will say I'm wrong. But they're looking from the perspective of a person who still has a shot at life. For me I think things are mostly already over. Something snapped inside my head and nothing has been the same since

>>19175395
<3

Also, taking public transportation in America is really the worst. You really feel as if you're a second class citizen, there aren't even sidewalks where I am. On the street crossing over here some retarded Stacy tried to turn when I was crossing. I think there's no better example of what I'm talking about than the turning right on red thing.

Anyway, as I was typing this I missed the bus. And now I really want to die.

>>19176836
I think you're feeling sorry for yourself. I managed to stay off disability for a couple extra years when doctors/nurses were always like "Yo it's free money, take the money" because working kept me active and less disabled. I think a lot of people who get on it get worse because they're not fighting against shit as hard. I have to actively do shit to replace the benefits of working once I did get put on disability. If I had just given up then, I'd be a lot worse and more disabled and very possibly dead.

I do appreciate a good cleaning from the janitors/moderators, but some of those were literature threads

My brother was hospitalized from a suicide attempt yesterday. All I've done all day is jack off and shitpost. I feel like a bad persom

>>19177010
Butters please keep my Shirley Jackson thread alive

>>19177010
based mods, consneeder suicide. no one gives a shit about your thread

I can't get passed more then one-day on nofap, hopefully when I start my job next week I'll be too busy to fap and I can use that pent up energy for something productive

>>19176782
You live your loves with great intensity.
Don't change anon, no matter what they tell you.

>>19176782
Stuff like this confuses me. She's just a girl, and from the sound of it she is awful. What is the attraction?

>>19177026
>Stoicuck
>can’t read
FIGURES

>>19176816
Well, it doesn’t matter. If he hates his job, my point stands and if he doesn’t, my point stands. You can’t fall into a cycle like he’s in and expect to be satisfied. Now, I’m not suggesting I have answers for him. In fact, I’m fucking miserable myself. I just don’t think he benefits from willingly doing things that entrench his own misery. If you’re going to be miserable, be miserable because the world and life suck, not because you’re an idiot.

I’m intrigued by the military and a part of me wants to join even though I’m against it and I know if I do, I’m just going to hate it anyway.

>>19177233
me too anon, I was thinking of joining the reserves

Which novels have an epic feel to them and leave you feeling like you really read something important?

I can't tell if I'm some sort of schizoid or autist or just have issues with emotions and attachment or if there's something seriously wrong with me.

I feel deeply about a very limited set of subjects, and disclose my feelings in very limited and controlled situations to select people, because I feel deeply afraid of intimacy and revealing any more of myself to others than I feel is necessary, and feel that I will only be hurt by closeness with another even if I greatly desire such a connection and feel painfully lonely. It seems at times as if I am splitting in two, or my mind is being drawn somewhere else, and I am watching myself live my life from above or outside, and I can perceive my emotions filling pre-existent molds or outlines or limits with the 'me' observing myself able to turn them on or off at will, or force them during situations where it seems appropriate. My thoughts are seemingly my own, but upon observation they arise without my input and run by themselves, and I have had the experience of watching myself speak without 'input' from within. When faced with an emotionally intense situation I feel strained from within, like there was some part of me that wished to feel deeply but which was kept constrained by another force. I can't outright ignore sensations like strong pain or exhaustion or completely let myself run on 'autopilot,' but such a state seems to be getting closer.

There's something else to the whole thing that I can't seem to articulate properly. I think I want something deeply, but I can't put what that is into words or understand it completely. I want to be fulfilled, filled up, experience an inexpressible beauty and truth, slip from my body entirely, seize something with my hands and not let it go, point my finger at something behind my head and too far to reach, open a door in my mind and walk bodily through it. Maybe in another year it will be more clear.

Music won't take you higher unless you're a moron.

Butterfly I can't take all these young hot women walking around I want to eat every one of their asses, how do you cope?

Can you give me some solidarity?

>>19177262
get a gf

>>19177243
That’s worth considering but I’m not so interested in being a part-timer. I think I were to do it, I would want to really just do it.

when i dream that’s who i am
and when i wake the dream begins

rotted pieces of me fall off every day, I'm molting and molting and revealing a truth within me. Christ help me, I'm becoming true and thorough with myself. I can feel myself slipping further and further into greenery and becoming grass along the ground and the earth underneath it. I am nothing but a vassal to spread the glory of God. All of my sins and the corrupt grip that held my heart in a strangle loosen and become further away from me every day that passes.

I no longer dream of women. I no longer crave alcohol. I only wish to live resiliently, to shine brightly, to serve and love purely without anything in return, for this world shall only return my treasures with sin. Only God will provide me with treasures, treasures that I neither deserve nor ask for.

My very first exposure to pornographic imagery was due to a virus that infected the family computer. I saw pop ups with naked ladies spreading their pussy lips before I was old enough to understand what I was looking at.
My second exposure was a nude mag left underneath a grandstand at the local rugby field. I had found it with a bunch of teammates. I was old enough to be curious, but still too young want to jack off or do anything with a girl.
My third exposure was suggestive anime figurines on some corner of the internet. I was old enough at that stage to download the images and look them in secret when I thought nobody else was around.

Dinuguan is good.

Squid Game is a good critique of equality. This is what egalitarians want.

this dude at work gave me a squirt of hand sanitizer and to be sociable i took it and now my hands smell like smarties candy wtf

I love Robert Walser, Bruno Schulz and Knut Hamsun so much, but I can't share my passion with anyone I know whitout being a fucking boring retard

trying to inch out of the maternal dynamic i have with my girl because i want an actual future with her but its really hard cause i have a mommy kink

>>19177256
depersonalization mang

>>19177395
My first exposure to porn was coming across my mother's smut collection on our family kindle as a 13 year old.

>>19177216
now what in gods name are you rambling about?

>>19177262
The libido would have all if time, stamina and interest from wouldbe lovers were just there.
But these prerequisites are not in place.
You have to narrow it down. Get some temporary relief with the army of imaginary lovers, but do like the anon directly below said. Find someone. Someone good, it shouldn’t be forced. But once you find her love will haze the thoughts of other women. Only women that resemble her most will catch your eye. But you should be able to resist.

>>19177868
Wasn’t my thread. I’m accusing him/you of being a stoic. No big deal.

How the fuck do normalfags manage to watch so much tv and movies?
I can't keep with it

>>19173592
>You will die in your lifetime.
>die
>in your lifetime
>lifetime
>life
>time

man that new meditation app in watchos 8 is a real ballbuster. "think of a time you gained self knowledge". idk man i'm drawing a blank wtf

>>19177891
meanwhile you watched 40 hours of cartoons this week right

>>19177879
imagine thinking you are in any position to talk to people about finding love

https://voca.ro/1kFEaTokrXnO

I'm hungry. Luckily there's some leftover tuna casserole in the fridge. I make mine with mushrooms, peas, and onions; also, I boil the elbow macaroni noodles in chicken stock. While eating I think I'll finish watching Bel Ami. Maybe eat an apple too. Goodnight, /lit/

>>19177940
I am blowjacker

>>19177845
>depersonalization
I have it :( Nothing feels real, bros. Am I just making all this up? It seems like just an illusion, like I don't even exist.

>>19177935
I did not, I should have included anime there too. I watch about 4 or 5 anime shows a year nowadays.
I'm too mentally drained after work to concentrate on long duration stuff like movies. But why can all my colleagues do it? All my family?
I enjoy movies and tv shows when I watch them, but I can't just finish an episode or movie and keep going, marathon stuff, like most people seem to do.
How the fuck do they do it? I'm really just an adhd brainlet?

>>19178045
They don't waste their time shitposting here

>>19177984
You should listen to Nine Inch Nails. Particularly their album With Teeth

>>19178059
But it seems everyone uses social media all the time

they're coming

how do i keep a loving heart and an open mind? internally, i try to keep as curious and nonjudgmental as possible, but i feel that internally im narcissistic, haughty, and judgy. are these just indelible vices that i will have to consciously fight against my whole life, or can i fundamentally change my passive thoughts to align better with my values?

Isn't it funny how at one point in our childhood we just went 'yeah I'm gonna be conscious now' and then start remembering things from that point forward?

I was talking to an older lady the other day. Can't really say how old. Maybe around 70. She said something interesting. Said nobody looks happy anymore. Is everybody really miserable? How long can this last? Is it wrong to take comfort in knowing that everyone is as miserable as me?

>>19178102
I remember being about 4 or 5and deciding to recall and chronologically catalogue every memory I posessed. I still like to skim my early memories in such a fashion.
I do remember on few occasions as a toddler coming to awareness and realizing I was going through another lucid moment and wondering how long until the next one would be. Very strange. I wonder if consciousness is a choice

>>19178099
Psalm 51:10

I think I'm going to try posting more on /lit/. I'm reading Panchinko, and am curious of peoples opinions of the book and Koreans in general. To me, Koreans are fucken retarded, so I don't have high expectations for it.

why is discussion on 4chan for the most part so boring and stagnant? is this place just a relic? other places like twitter also have major problems but if you play the game right you can really keep up with exciting new stuff, and the personalization is a plus too, all things considered.
is it just a regulars vs tourists thing, where the tourists usually drive any interesting discussion but they're not around and mostly go away after posting for a tiny bit, and it's just the same regulars posting the same shit again and again?
t. kind of a semi-tourist

>>19173562
I'm thinking about how I wanted better prose but also thought that prose was always the author's voice so I stopped using contractions and started talking in this weird prose reminiscent of the 18th century and didn't stop until I read a post that says the prose isn't the authors voice.

>>19178157
is it impossible for an atheist to achieve what i asked?

>>19178169
I think there's always been an exceptionally high ratio of inanity to insight on this website specifically, but if you're good at mentally screening for effortposts you can eventually pick up something from this site. that being said, one's feet should be planted in his country but his eyes should survey the world.

>>19178169
The lowest common denominator always sets the standard. Just browse boards and threads which interest you most and make more sincere and engaging posts yourself. Theres so many people with so many viewpoints and backgrounds here. And because the other participants are just anons in a text box, it's easy to feel like the only real person and elevate your own importance. So you have a bunch of tards who all think they're the only real person posting.
Just filter out the shit, be humble, and be more engaging. You'll find an interesting conversation with effort

>>19178169
also i'd just like to add that i still think that out of all of the old-school forum "cultures", 4chan has easily aged the best
>>19178190
>that being said, one's feet should be planted in his country but his eyes should survey the world.
what do you mean

>>19178197
>Just filter out the shit, be humble, and be more engaging
yeah, i do that, but filtering so much stuff becomes a drag t b h

>>19178169
couldnoithavewrotethis
>ib4emilybronté

>>19174376
Why would you? Unless you go on some turbosperg radical tirad for a few months straight, no one will care. You are aware that by the fact that this is an anonymous image board filled with everyone from 15 y/o who think they are cool, to people talking about some obscure weaving techniques, to actual sketchy shit.

Doesnt even matter if you say something bad.

>>19173562
I hate swords without guards.

>>19178198
>one's feet should be planted in his country but his eyes should survey the world
use and learn from them all, but have a home.

AAAAAAA why can't china just get BTFO already

>>19173832
>>19173997
I know this feeling very well anon, the hope that she will change her mind in the near future, I was dating a girl for 3 weeks and as son as I felt myself starting to fall in love she told me she wasn't ready for a reationship and she needed time alon for herself. Worst thing, I had a talk with her a week later after this and it gave me this impression that it was truly just bad timing on our part. The dates went really well so the hopes that she will come back once she's ready is ever present in the back of my mind.

Good side of all this, it gave me motivation to further work on myself. Going to workout 5 times a week and write 200 words minimum a day. I should try talking to other girl also but ii'm not really otpimistic in my odds of finding someone else so soon based on my very few past experiences.

>>19178190
>is it impossible for an atheist to achieve what i asked
Well that depends who you ask. A religious person would say no. To have a clean heart is to emphasize the spiritual over the carnal. Its something of a cliche to say that man is halfway between angel and animal. If you don't believe in the "angelic" be it God, or any kind of spirituality, then all you're left with is an animal with pretensions.
>Romans 8:6

>>19178212
>yeah, i do that, but filtering so much stuff becomes a drag t b h
Thats our boulder to push, Sisyphus

I am an autist

>>19178169
Never understood this view. Twitter to me is the most embarrassing, cringe shit I could possibly imagine. It's the worst of the worst of posturing undergrads who want to be in on some new hip cultural movement, but who can only conceptualise anything like a cultural movement as a social media influencer attracting a bunch of faggots to his mini-blog and patreon. Every time I accidentally peek into Twitter I feel a mixture of pity, disgust, and anger that such awful, awful faggots are even associating themselves with things I care about.

I was searching for something in relation to Leo Strauss and his relation to another writer the other day, and one of the first and only results was a Twitter thread, so I clicked it. It was someone trying to show off their 101 knowledge of Strauss by being performatively blase about Strauss and this other author, something like "People really should talk more about Strauss and x." It had two or three "likes," or loves or upvotes or whatever the fuck they are on Twitter, attached to it.

Who the fuck are you talking to, first of all? I poked around his Twitter and all I found were other people posting nearly identical shit on their own accounts, mutually "liking" each other, occasionally using the comments section to grandstand in pathetic, shallow ways. Behind every one of their posts I could smell the stink of desperate undergrad trying to impress, trying to fit in. But it's anonymous, so who are you fitting in with? Then I realised, they're fitting in with their imaginary future patreon fanbase, by imitating other horribly shallow and pathetic podcasters/bloggers/streamers they've seen doing this kind of thing before. This is what they think erudition looks like and terminates in, ironic blog articles in god-awful purple prose applying Louis de Bonald to some retarded pop politics phenomenon like a right wing Zizek. It's just fucking sad. All the worst aspects of sophomoric precocity and egotism without any of the upsides.

It gets even more sad when I reflect that they're all faking it 'til they make it, and their only audience is other guys like them faking it 'til they make it. I can't articulate this but it has a feminine, effeminate aura to it. Zoomers see real life as an extension of social media influencer culture, deep down they all just want to become manic faggy streamers.

4chan is infinitely better. Most posts are deliberately shit, and there is unfortunately an increasingly dense extra layer of shit created by zoomer tourists from Twitter who think 4chan is alt right Twitter, but when you do get someone sincere they're often lucid and thoughtful. If I had to express the difference, Twitter is nothing but fool's gold, and 4chan is rocky but has genuine gold, and if you hang around you can get decent at maximising your yield.

I'll concede that boards populated primarily by zoomer phone-posters are unusable now. But that is because they have become Twitter/Reddit colonies.

>>19178365
yeah, of course if you look for philosophy discussion you're gonna get something like that. i think the best parts are the art/music oriented ones
and you have to dig to find the gold on twitter too

/lit/ isn't that bad when it comes to debate and arguments but boards like /v/ are a fucking headache to deal with. Almost every argument is a non sequitur that is used in an attempt to make the other poster seethe.

>>19178391
i think my big pros for twitter and such is that it's easier to curate what you get, and also there's the reassurance of an actual personality on the other side

my dream job is to be one of the guards with submachine guns in squid game

>>19178403
I used to post on /tv/ in 2008-2010 and I remember being young and naive enough to think I was having discussions with real human beings, so I kept trying to autistically convince people of shit I genuinely believed by arguing with them and pointing out when they were saying irrelevant nonsense and so forth. I really was trying to argue in good faith. That was completely retarded, anon. I was a retard. I was talking to a cactus wearing sunglasses the entire time. You know who talks to a cactus wearing sunglasses and expects a real response? A retarded person. I was the retard, not the cactus. He was just a cactus.

That was ten years ago. I don't know what happens to cactuses after ten years. But it can't be good.

>>19178365
>4chan is infinitely better. Most posts are deliberately shit, and there is unfortunately an increasingly dense extra layer of shit created by zoomer tourists from Twitter who think 4chan is alt right Twitter, but when you do get someone sincere they're often lucid and thoughtful. If I had to express the difference, Twitter is nothing but fool's gold, and 4chan is rocky but has genuine gold, and if you hang around you can get decent at maximising your yield.
I think thats a goodway to put it. there is something liberating about shit that doesnt think that its not shit. And shit that does think its something more doesnt have anything to really legitimize it besides how many responses it can trigger. Then decent stuff is kinda plain and bare in its stringlessness (though even there there may be aspects of shit)

>>19173592
can't wait

do you guys like the television show House? I think it's just fantastic

>university will only let me take two courses this semester because I fucked up the last one
Jesus christ I will never graduate. I'll just make a portfolio and hope for the best. university was waste of time

>>19178508
go get a doctors certificate that says you had some problem, but it's resolved now and give it to the university to pressure them

>>19173562
Eastern Orthodoxy is Cringe, Gay and Cucked except when Eastern Europeans do it.

>>19177158
Who can say? There's no answer to that

I'm in love with this girl. I hope she find a good man so that he can kill all my hope about her. I don't I want to be in love.

>>19177093
I've thought like this before but there comes a point where it's purely destructive. If the novel is ever finished / is good I suppose that point won't be reached but at the moment she's ruined my life. My friends and family tell me it's unhealthy and I'm starting to believe them. The girl's awfulness just makes me even more obsessed

>>19178365
>I was searching for something in relation to Leo Strauss and his relation to another writer the other day, and one of the first and only results was a Twitter thread, so I clicked it. It was someone trying to show off their 101 knowledge of Strauss by being performatively blase about Strauss and this other author, something like "People really should talk more about Strauss and x." I
Lel makes a lot of sense. Dumb ass normal fags arent exposed to any kind of theory until university. And when these kids dip their toes into the water they think they've discovered so deep because their parents aren't familiar. Midwits geting educated is actually a danger to society. They dont realize how little they actually know. Its very depressing desu

I'm going to rewrite the entire Holy Bible, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

I had a dream where i was playing xbox live with immanuel kant and schopenhauer

>>19178573
I love her too, anon. Everyone loves her. I bet there's threads on /tv/ dedicated to her right now. She's just so cute.

I unironically long for the downfall and destruction of the United States. Or at least for the federal government. I have no problem with what happened on January 6th. I have no problem with more than half the states now essentially trying to strangle democracy. I would not be all that upset if Trump retook power in a coup. I have no attachment to the American Experiment. The Constitution and the Declaration have no special meaning for me; they're just pieces of paper. I don't think the current American system of government is a good one and I think it deserves to be replaced, ideally with something more right-wing. If the federal government is overthrown I'll probably just shrug my shoulders. I'd probably even be happy. And if violence results, well, so what?

>>19178670
Get in line

>>19173562
What lies behind the screen of consciousness?

>>19178712
this

I don't think this board has anything more to offer me yet I still come.

>>19178724

>>19178724
Holy shit dude, I think we should leave. I just found this old 2013 /lit/ thread
>>/lit/thread/S4098010
on the archive, and it seems like things were a lot more civil back then, with none of that incel /pol/ /r9k/ garbage. I wonder where all of these people have gone. I know that butterfly is one of the posters from then who are still around, but there surely has to be a better platform to discuss /lit/ related things.

>>19178737
I started posting only 2019 and desu since then quality of discussion has significantly decreased. Things are just on a downward slope

ugh the fucking chuds ruined this place

>>19178747
>I started posting only 2019
Opinions discarded.

>>19173562
>yellow folds sneeding

>>19173789
>jabbed
Enjoy your myocarditus; get a d-dimer
https://www.bitchute.com/video/qqRZadV9TWDX/

>>19178737
seems basically identical to today's threads, just with less slurs

Not only that but aggression from Japanese government, they are building up military, is a clear threat and insult to China. Rustle the grass and you might just awaken the snake, Japan. Americans like myself would hope our ally Japan changes the course it has so foolishly chosen and diverts disaster. In American we have knowlege that we must uphold our duty to defend our ally Japan but we understand that ultimately we will be unable to weather the storm that the powerful Chinese combined forces will bring. Turn back now Japan before we force China's hand

>>19174510
Because of rent in my country I'd need at least 50k just for a roof over my head. Fortunately my family has a house I could move back in to but I often consider just living in a tent and fishing all day

>>19178756
Go suck you fat shit covered dildo tranny

I WANT TO ESCAPE SAMSARA
EXTRICATE ME FROM MATTER PLEASE GOD

>>19178737
>>>/lit/thread/S4098010
Went looking deeper for the hell of it. Found this
>>/lit/thread/S2260573#p2267010
It has been ten years

Tomorrow I will say hello to one of the Chinese expats in my town. I hope I can make a new friend.

>>19173562
i always seem to catch that other people seem to have a sense of identity that i quite transparently lack, whether that's online or off. online is typically worse because there's much more opportunity to show yourself off. pick a profile picture, pick a background, pick a nickname, pick a theme, post this, post that, join this group and that. me, i have nothing to say.

and yet i spend all day posting on imageboards, so obviously i do have something to say, even if the results are incoherent: post about love and kindness in one thread and how you hope hell exists just so so-and-so can be sent there in the other. no, i have no trouble posting as an abstract collection of opinions so long as you don't expect me to have a "self".

>>19178466
I dont remember much but i did watch it up until he gets into psych ward(?). Is it still good after that? Also, what would be house covid episode about?

>>19177260
I'll be glad to be considered a moron, then.

>>19177295
all that we see or seem
is but a dream within a dream

The best way I found to avoid idealizing someone is to imagine them on the toilet having diarrhea.

>>19177984
you are right, life is a dream. your brief flicker of life is surrounded by eternity.

wearing uggs to the house party

>>19177984
i have crippling imposter syndrome

>>19176314
yes and i won't elaborate

>>19179132
based

>>19177984
there is one solution to this, and it's basically a coin flip. take a heroic dose of a psychadelic. either you completely disappear or you will finally develop an understanding of reality

>>19178365
>4chan is infinitely better. Most posts are deliberately shit, and there is unfortunately an increasingly dense extra layer of shit created by zoomer tourists from Twitter who think 4chan is alt right Twitter, but when you do get someone sincere they're often lucid and thoughtful. If I had to express the difference, Twitter is nothing but fool's gold, and 4chan is rocky but has genuine gold, and if you hang around you can get decent at maximising your yield.
nice

I saw some cute chick in my apartment building hanging out with stoner normies. It's not that I found her interesting sexually or platonically, I avoided talking to her, but she always seemed so well put together and clean that I prescribed some sort of mysterious quality to her, some inner depth most people don't have. In the end she was a normal thot, and I feel a deep sense of loss - it feels like humanity lost something.

twitch leak made me feel insignificant about my own finances again

>walking dog through park this morning
>walk by two qt's
>they stop and turn 90 degrees to look back and smile at me
>dont make eye contact and keep walking
I did right.. r-right guys?

>>19173562
I'm 32 and I have nothing to do. I'm jobless. I'm a failure. I'm a disappointment to my parents. It's a miracle that I have a gf. I spent all my 20s trying to be a regular guy with a regular job but I failed every single time because I'm too antisocial. I want to have a solitary job, I've always wanted to be a writer but even the most successful writers nowadays have a day job. I'm just not suited for this world. Also, my peak days of creativity are gone. Even if I wanted to be a writer now, I can't come up with a good story or a good subject to write about. My mind is just a clusterfuck of thoughts and feelings and I can't put them on paper. I'm just not suited for this world.

>>19178925
Chinese people who actually wanted to get out of China are cool. I met this guy once who acted completely like he was from a Banjo Paterson poem. Wore an Akubra hat, dirty old jeans, RMW belt buckle etc. Even tried to speak with a rural Australian accent but sounded ridiculous.
Was based.

>>19179385
Thanks for your insight, help me much

>>19179382
They were probably looking at your dog.

>>19178169
The modern internet turns people boring. Yes, you read that right. Back when we all first got on the internet, it was a great time because we all had vastly different lives and the internet was this amazing new meeting place for us that could break down all barriers. But over time, we started spending more time online than irl, and spending 8 hours a day mindlessly using 4chan or reddit became this generation's mindless 8 hours a day of TV. And since we all take the internet as a main source of inspiration now rather than real life, it becomes this boring blend of images and memes spread by social media, basically the content of real life distilled through a filter so it accords with what people on X site want to read and believe. This pretty much eliminates any chance of interesting discussion most of the time

The fuck do you even do on a first date?

>>19179485
somthing comfy or fun

>>19179489
On, not for.

>>19179485
Get to know the person you want to date, I guess.

>>19179409
you're welcome, i guess. how the fuck can something like that help anybody?

>>19179354
a bit of a pretentious faggot, are we?

I'm worried I might sperg out at my new job and get fired for racism

You're all faggots

>>19179485
idk something expensive

>>19179565
where you think we are lmao, of course

>>19179650
oh be nice

brrrr https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VtQ4uNjwXs

Post nut clarity truly is something.

I was nofapping for a long time, and I was on the verge of actually buying a subscription to a hentai artist's fanbox. I found a substitute to it and after jacking off a huge load I no longer have this 'urge' to buy or see the artist's work.

How to make friends at university?

>>19179974
The best advice I can give you is to get a part-time job at a store or bar and restaurant or something somehow tangentially related to the university. Especially working in a bar, you will naturally get to talking if you allow it and you’ll become friends. Other than that, check out clubs, interest groups, volunteering organizations and the like. You can also try to make friends with dorm mates if you have them. The most obvious thing would be making friends with classmates but let’s be honest, nobody talks to each other in the classroom and you’re just going to stop seeing those people in a few months anyway. The reason it’s hard to make friends in University these days is because there’s no fixed circle. The people around you won’t be around you next semester, or next year, or in a few years. That’s why if you do something like say, join the student newspaper, or the literature club, or get a job at a library, it’s easier to make friends naturally over time since you’ll actually be around those people for longer than a semester and probably longer than a year.

>>19179385
Just get any day job and write for yourself. I understand that the writing part can be frustrating, but as for the career, or day job, who cares? You don’t have to be one of these people that’s a hustler and a striver at work. You can just do what pays the bills and that’s good enough.

Bolaño spent most of his life either writing journalism he was hated for or working odd jobs like janitor and dishwashing while writing poetry for himself. He said that was good enough for him and eventually he felt the temptation to write a novel. He was already old. The point is, he had no problem working whatever bullshit job and writing poetry for himself. And the only reason he tried to write a novel that could sell was because he had a family and wanted money to leave them.

You ever feel like you’re being called to something, but it just feels like you’re inadequate or spinning your tires in mud in regard to it, so you wonder if you’re not actually being called?

>>19179935
Yeah it really is something huh. Wanted to hit up this girl, had a fap and I wanted nothing too do with her afterwards

>>19180027
Yes, these among many other doubts and concerns that have all gathered in a thick dark cloud

>>19179935
For me it's the opposite. Post nut I feel shame and anxiety. It really clouds my thinking for a while. Which is mostly the reason I try to avoid masturbating.

>>19180073
What the fuck do you jack off to have shame and anxiety?

Fuck! I want to coom so much, but I know I'd feel lazy tomorrow.
Actually had a wet dream tonight.

>>19180102
Nothing special, just images of white adult women. It's not the subject of the fap that makes me shameful and anxious, it's the act itself. I probably subconsciously feel like I'm doing something wrong.

why don't you nerds just get laid lmao

>>19180120
I did. I just don't wanna go through the trouble of courting a chick again.

>>19180135
you could be like me and date twink and tomboys instead of roasties

for your consideration: how about we DON'T make a new thread until this one is 404, or nearly there? just a thought

>>19180156
I'm not homosex and tomboys are unicorns in today's time

>>19179086
I can relate to this. In social/life situations lacking a sense of self is definitely a disadvantage, because if you don't establish boundaries on what you will and won't tolerate then people could walk all over you, and others (especially women) will pick up on your lack of conviction.

I think there are small advantages to it, though, that you should mind as well. I think the ideal state would be to be both willing to change yourself but also fully invested in that version of yourself for a time being. I'm not sure if you could brainwash yourself into believing it, though, and it could easily just end up a LARP.

A writer with a strong sense of self, like McCarthy (read his interviews about his views on literature, his convictions, etc.) has great style but never really went beyond death and violence, which are just partial aspects of life. If McCarthy had less personal conviction, maybe he could have become a more well-rounded writer like his idol Faulkner. But then, if he wasn't so dedicated to this singular vision, he might not have developed his genius.

A sense of self is good to have. Could be more worthwhile than getting abs at the gym.
A sense of self is bad to have. It locks you down in a set of views that blind you to other possibilities.

Personally, think it's best to find a synthesis, but that's just myself.

I think I just got over my ex after years and years.. I realized that the thing is that we didn't communicate, which means that while it is true that she has had a great love for an Anon- an Enormous love- I actually at best tangentially relate to that Anon. I think she had access to about 50-60% of who I am, and the rest was simply unknown to her. There was a time when she showed me an enormous love that genuinely helped save me from suicide in a very, very beautiful gesture. I've been thinking "how can I let go of a woman who does something like this for me?" Well, the thing is, she didn't do it for me, she did it for her imaginary hero. We're both kind of broken I guess, we were both unbelievably lonely and just needed someone and clung to eachother, as teens. I like her still, I do, I think she has a lot of fine qualities, it's just that I've nurtured this fiction of what was happening between us. I developed significant mental illness while we were together, and she unironically didn't notice, and I said nothing because my parents probably taught me as a kid to shut the fuck up about my problems, and I just silently tried to keep her happy because I was too scared of losing her until I kind of snapped, and that was the end, but the thing is, we communicated some after the breakup too, but it wasn't until 4 years later that she ran into me in town and we hung out and I ended up telling her "when do you actually think I got mentally ill?" and then I finally told her everything, and she hadn't known a thing.. And that really, really means, I realize today, that she really, really didn't know me. Again, she has great qualities, I like her a lot, there are a lot of things I'm grateful for, but... our relationship was COMPLETELY FUCKED. That's good to realize. No reason to rose-tint it.

>21
>Feel empty
>Nothing to live for
>Go to school everyday but don't particularly care for anything
>No friends, no family
>Feel weak, body constantly hurts, tired all the time, can't focus, feels like moving through thick paste 24/7
>Try my best to cope and distract myself when home, doesn't work
>Still have the same issues I had 5 years ago

Things I've tried to better my situation:
>Years of therapy
>Working out
>Working different jobs
>Trying to get back in touch with family (didn't work)
>"Getting out there"
>School
>Developing hobbies
>Meditation
>Religion
>Doctors
>Meds
>Nofap

I don't even feel like killing myself, I'm just empty. This can't be all there is to life, can it?

>>19180619
>Try my best to cope and distract myself when home, doesn't work
Not distractions, that’s hobbies. You need to focus on something.
>Religion
No good without being a dull wit who can believe in that ancient stuff. You have to mKe your life’s goal(s). Set a dream before you.
You know my goals ?

>>19180743
>You know my goals ?
What are they?

>>19179169
Or he could lose his mind and drown himself, which should be avoided. If you do psychs anon, please have a trusted friend watch you throughout the trip, and don't put yourself in any harmful situations. And I can tell that you write, so get a pen and lots of paper so you can take the realizations with you. That said, I wouldn't even think about doing it if I were you, with your psychological disposition. Meditation is a process that will take many years, but you can achieve the same insights with the added benefit of permanence.

In regard to depersonalization, I've had a similar experience. This past summer, after reading some Schopenhauer and using marijuana at a party, I was brought to what I called the Command Central of my existence (analogous to the pause menu of a frozen video game), where reality was revealed to me as a collective immersion within something temporary and illusory. Everything in life seemed like a cruel, absurd joke, my friends a bunch of wheezing apes, my aspirations just a small part of a larger, striving vanity. I definitely thought about suicide but pushed it away for selfish and nonselfish reasons.

But in the wake of this event I became a depersonalized solipsist. Strangely enough as a result of this I completely escaped my old vices, and lived like the self-improving par excellence. It was like once I had realized it all to be a dream, the limitations on my mind/body had been lifted and I became free to do anything, to be anyone.
Interestingly enough, though, I had no interest in art, even though this has always been my passion (and still is). People and their attempts to communicate, strut and peacock, leave a legacy didn't interest me so much as existence itself, the physical and psychological terrain and to what extent the mind could map it.
I came out of it from starting a part time job and unironically indulging myself in my old vices. Indulging my vices got me back to normal. Kinda regret it tho.

>>19180770
To try to replace state-capitalism.
That’s a big two-headed dragon.

Next thread
>>19180804
>>19180804
>>19180804

Well i got wasted drunk last night, puked all over the bathroom and dumped bleach everywhere. My dad came into my room and opened my window, and I was so passed out i didnt notice. I'm gravely worried because I was naked and had fetish items laying around. I am going to sleep in as long as I can and desperately hope this doesn't come up

>>19180791
Lol good luck with that one. Should keep you busy for a while.

i busted a fat nut in my sleep goddamn

>>19180791
lmao that is not in any way a goal you are actively working towards

>>19180791
also giving shit like that as examples of a goal to help someone focus is fucking TERRIBLE advice

>>19180743
>No good without being a dull wit who can believe in that ancient stuff.
I wonder how someone with a viewpoint this mind-numbingly inane even manages to tie their shoes in the morning

>>19173789
I had this. They stemmed from repressed emotional issues.