/lit/ - Literature

thank you

>>19106566
i keep searching the past for the cause of my current situation and completely ignoring the future at the same time.

>>19106566
Based Wangan midnight poster
Can anyone recomend books about subcultures incidentally?
Any time any place

>>19106580
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk
Why Be Something That You're Not: Detroit Hardcore 1979-1985
that Hunter S. Thompson book about the Hell's Angels

>>19106566
I'm gonna go mushroom picking on Saturday. Anyone fancy coming with?

For a group that prides themselves on their "esoteric" tastes, they sure are annoying.

>>19106713
yeah, I'm down. I've been thinking about going mushrooming

It's hard to tell whether that adolescent doubt you feel is a temporary phase or whether it will really go on to define your life as a whole.

>>19106745
That pit in the bottom of your stomach will just keep getting larger and larger unless you start doing something about it now.

>>19106714
>prides themselves on their "esoteric" tastes,
In other words, pretentious. Does it really surprise you?

>>19106733
alright nice one, whereabouts are you mate?

>it's not mandatory
>but you need to get it to work
guess I'm not working then

I thought I saw it this morning. I don't know if I am the victim or the perpetrator, maybe the witness. Kind of scared me a lot desu. Just an image flashing by, just as I was waking up. I woke up early too, after about 5 hours, with this image. I don't know what it was of.

Just nope'd out of a zoom test. Audio wasn't working and it looks like you require a camera, which I don't have. Is this the end? Am I dropping out of university? I'm not really sure anymore

>>19106566
It's impressive that the medium of video games only managed to pump out like 5 great narratives before completely running out of steam. there are obviously more than 5 games with artistic merit but they're usually more visually atmospheric than literary.

>>19106903
I noped out of university even before the pandemic. Best decision of my life

>>19106918
SH2 is so far above most other games it's pretty much an anomaly

This is a serious question
What caused trannies to try to take over the world
A few years ago nobody was even talking about them now despite being a miniscule minority they're everywhere trying to dominate the discourse
I'm seriously starting to think this is a real psyop

>>19106962
Its money to be made off of them.

>>19106962
https://libcom.org/files/Preliminary%20Materials%20for%20a%20Theory%20of%20the%20Young-Girl.pdf

>>19106962
me too. as you say, minuscule minority

>>19106903
I just bombed my differential equations quiz. I did fine my last two semesters, but I'm seriously at a breaking point here with how shit zoom classes are. My professor uses another professor's lecture videos, which are roughly a couple of hours per section, and they're bare-bones at best. Most of the time I can hardly understand what's going on, and I end up using YouTube to clarify a lot of the material. It also doesn't help that we don't even go over example problems that are on the homework or quizzes. I want to say something about it, but I'm just too apathetic. I just want to build shit and go dirt-biking.

Just found out I have an IQ of 88
I guess this is why I like cartoons so much
I still push myself to read because I know I need to challenge my brain and not stay comfortable

>>19106993
Diff. Eqs. sucked for me too. Bombed the first exam with like a 30-40 range score but somehow finished with a B.

There are multiple ways you can take it I guess. You can probably still recover even if you bomb it. But if you hate uni in general, maybe it's not for you.

goo goo ga ga

>>19107005
I don't know what else I'd do if I left uni. I'll admit that what I chose to study was partly for the money, but I'm also interested in physics and electronics. I think a lot of universities today are too bogged down in the nitty gritty of things and forget to provide opportunities to look at things as a whole.

The quality of my life would improve immensely if I had a better audience for my ideas and interests.

I had too many bad encounters in connection with books in the last couple of years, to the point that conversing with a wall yields better results most of the time. I fell in love with a girl and started reading. It was a long time ago. Now people think I'm trying to impress them because I happen to remember what Herzen wrote in his biography. The absurd thing is, if I elaborated that they're not what drives my education forward in any significant way, they'd get mad and the relationship would be close to over.

Maybe that one grandpa I spoke to in the park is right, he randomly said that there's no reason to have male friends. Heinrich Boll in "Billiards at Half-Past Nine" wrote something similar, saying that men only want to talk about work, while they're employed at average engineering companies.

>>19106993
>I just want to build shit and go dirt-biking.
blessed ambitions, praying for your dream

>>19106962
Trannies are one of the first waves of true revolutionary activity in a stagnant bourgeois civilization experiencing total breakdown. The false revolutionary activity that preceded them was the pseudo-transgressive bourgeois culture of "take a walk on the wild side!!! let's explore our feelings and the underbelly of human life!!!! fuck propriety, I want to have EXPERIENCES!!! I actually know a gay guy and a black guy and they're SO nice :)!" that preceded trannies by 50+ years. But this was all just the incubation chamber for true trannyism. Bourgeois people fundamentally respect boundaries. What they want is to live in suburban homes but go out in the evenings and on weekends to see freaks do throwback cabaret or some lame shit like that.

Everyone hates the bourgeoisie, everyone wants to break out of the bourgeoisie's domination of domination subjecthood because they only use it to stagnate and gorge themselves on fake ethnic food when they "go downtown." But the bourgeois is so ubiquitous that nobody knows how to break out of his stranglehold on every public space and discourse except by annihilating him, and no individual group is strong or brave enough to die trying. So only the truly demented and most retarded freaks who have nothing to lose can really rebel against the bourgeoisie, either because they don't care at all that they're doomed to fail, or they are too stupid to know it.

This will eventually take the form of religious millenarian and fascist mass movements, probably in the context of open ethnic civil wars, which the bourgeoisie is provoking by forcing its "everything stays the same as long as I can still go downtown every weekend and get sushi with the girls!!!" perspective onto mass media and public discourse while things are going beyond the point that this perspective is credible even for lumpenproles who are forced to listen to it all day. Even the lumpenproles are now noticing that the economy is crashing, they are being directly affected, and the mixed-up and confused immigrants who were supposed to quietly fuse with the lumpenproles' and drag their average IQ down by 20 points, while being easier to buy off, are forming rape and crime gangs and turning London into Detroit within 5 years.

But this will take a little while and whatever fascist-religious synthesis is coming isn't ready yet. Some kind of cataclysm is required, something that makes the average mass in-the-middle 80% TV watcher instinctively say "for fuck's sake, enough of this" to the whole bourgeois gestalt and intuitively prefer radical solutions again for the first time in a century.

>>19106949
I’d put the first dark souls there too but yes. But most people who praise the story of that game have an incredibly shallow perspective on it

>>19107074
Where trannies come in is that they are caught between the bourgeois zeitgeist (they are high expressions of its ridiculous hedonism and narcissism) and the coming breakdown and chaos (they are violently unhappy men who "don't fit anywhere" and who desire total radical transformations of the world so that it makes sense for them). On top of that, they have the support of the bourgeoisie, which sees them as quaint 1990s "My best friend is a freak! Freaks are people too you know! :)" accessories, and doesn't sense the extreme danger of normalizing acquiescence to insane angry men with radically different worldviews and demands for total social transformation. Trannies are proto-fascists, proto-Stalinists, proto-religious millenarians. They are the first glimpse of what EVERYONE'S normal consciousness will be like in 20 years: insane and demanding, full of batshit ideology and demands that no longer have a "normal" or "mainstream" consensus to bounce off of and tone themselves down in comparison to. Trannyism is total demand for total revolution, total self-confidence in one's insane worldview, and, as all revolutions are, it's composed of violent angry men.

The tranny phenomenon is a small taste of what the Bolshevik and Chinese revolutions felt like, what the Jacobin phase of the French Revolution felt like, what the English Civil War felt like if you were an average person when the Puritans won, what it felt like to be in Germany during the Wars of Religion when the town down the road from yours converted to some insane Calvinism where everyone has to chop their nipples off or be shot by the state because nipples are sinful, and the town just beyond that was razed to the ground by the Catholic League for converting to a different form of Calvinism (hostile to anti-nipple Calvinism) a year prior to that. If you take away the particular content (women have penises) and replace it with a different one, trannyism is the pure essence of the religious nature of revolutionary terror. It's the mass having no points of reference, so little pockets of mass find or invent points of reference and then trumpet them as the default point of reference that everybody else should be obeying already, and if they aren't it's simply because they're evil.

Trannies will be gassed by whatever real mass movements are coming, but they have done a lot of preliminary work of untethering the bourgeoisie from what remained of its older puritanical "mainstreamness." The zoomer children of the bourgeoisie truly have NO bearings anymore, for the first time. The decay will accelerate from here.

>>19106566
This nigga Tolstoy gets me.

If it takes me an hour to write a single paragraph for my story, and a page roughly has 5-6 paragraphs each, and I work one hour a week on my story, I should still finish my book before The Winds of Winter comes out.

>>19106962
Think about it this way. You're a millennial/zoomer who grew up surrounded by the oppression olympics. If you're a straight white male you're on the top of the totem pole, but you still might not feel that way. The easiest way out is to become a tranny. You come out as trans and overnight you are given full access and a seat at the table.

>>19106983
Qrd?

>>19107083
>>19107074
So in other words, trannies are a self destruct sequence somehow embedded into a culture? That we get to a point of decadence and inauthenticity that triggers a hysterical meltdown of public consciousness?

>>19106983
gayest thing i've ever read

>>19107074
>>19107083
Sounds like we all have....a death wish

>>19107145
I was briefly into sissy porn and gender bending. In hindsight I see it as a form of self harm. I felt emasculated and weak. I didnt feel like I lived up to manhood and that I would always be less than a man. I was just overwhelmed with self loathing and a mindset warped by perverted sexuality to which I've been exposed to since I was a kid.
Since I didnt feel man enough to dominate a woman, the only logical solution was that I should be dominated by a woman. And not just kept as a pet, but that I deserved ridicule and degradation. Now I always had a healthy sense of shame so I kept it all to myself. But I knew some group of progressive weirdos back in high school. They were like proto sjws at the time. They had all sorts of warped ideas about life. I can only imagine that if I had confided these feelings of inadequacy to them, they would have totally taken advantage of me. They would have said my feelings were a result of toxic masculinity, that gender is fluid, men can cross dress, etc etc. A person who felt as I did would have craved validation and gone along with it. The blind leading the blind.
Thats how I view the phenomenon. Broken and emasculated men, fed a steady diet of hardcore porn and progressive politics warped and destroyed by demons.
I was saved by the grace of God. I stopped watching porn, lost all unrealistic expectations, made friends with normal people, started lifting weights, etc. And I grew out of my awkward insecure adolescent phase and now feel very confident and secure as a man. I really worry about all those boys being raised without fathers or positive influences. They're prey for demons

>>19107265

>>19107281
I never watched the hypno shit. I never understood that

>>19107074
>>19107083
But how can you be so sure that something is coming? Things are, for good or for worse, different now. We have cheap consumer electronics and hot-and-ready big macs for the masses to gorge themselves and pacify them with. The French Revolution only happened because people were literally starving in the streets. Sure things aren't as good as they were decades ago, but I believe we're far beyond a sort of tipping point. On second thought, maybe climate refugees will be what breaks the camel back - that or the west will rot from the inside out like it's doing right now.

>>19107265
Good for you. It also seems to prey on neurotic and intellectual types, people a standard deviation or two above the norm, the kinds of kids who would have been in math or anime club or band in highschool. Those people naturally want a little more in life than the same warp and woof as everybody else, and they are naturally a little more crooked and bent because they have more "energy" that wants to go somewhere and it can't really go anywhere yet when you're still just a kid. Tranny shit comes along and gives them answers. They aren't right answers or real answers, they are shallow as fuck, but any answers seem refreshing at the age when everything about you is a question mark.

The pure evil of trannies is refreshing in comparison to how most evil operates today. It can at least be seen and resisted by the average person. That's merciful compared to how most average people are being torn apart by much more insidious and secret evils.

I have a huge job applying anxiety. I can't stand sending out applications.

I applied for two jobs this week, now I want to apply for more. Everything in my life is ass-backwards.

>>19106566
Daymend.
Whenever have you not gone under? When you sit and solipsize on why how what of some bullshit. As you place yourself so high, yet dirt is in your ears and the weight of the earth presses on your head. “But at least I’m in Top Soil!” You so eagerly condescend. “Pity those poor souls who feel the heat! I can yet move, I can!” As your pinky toe twitches.
“Oh yes, indeed, how wretched are those lain akimbo at that toe! Such folly they have done to go so far under. If only they could see as I see, they would understand their actions, how in injurious to the betterment of their condition. Quite! If they could know all that I know! Perhaps then they could ascend as such as I. Yes, how comfortable it is, here, next to the worms, troglodytes, and cicadas. Such friends they are as they eat all my bad bits away! Hehe! Wouldst thou eat more! My hungry companions. I have so much to give, yes I do! I did not need my nose anyway. Though I glimpse the others further down have no such wonderous friends as I. Their poor noses are still nosing! Oh and these eyes, these wicked eyes, they are witness to much piteous beings below me. Thank you mister ants. For too long have these discriminating eyes fell on those lesser, they have! And these ears, my dear mole, Chomp Away! If you could only have heard what silly thoughts that found their way inside. The droll talk they had to endure by those bottom dwellers. My hands, yes of course, how did I forget? These hands which were forced to grasp all their little members. Enjoy my gift beloved creatures of the mulch, that Top Soil. I feel so terrible I cannot share with you, oh they who are at my feet. If thou could see how swell we get on together!”
And like that the man went to feed his closest friends. And the others deep below -- in rock and stone -- waited. Years they kept.

>>19107303
This
Collapse never ever, people are utterly pacified and even the people who hate degeneracy coom to it now
Even our wars are tame af compared to years past

>>19107356
As the creatures of the mulch, that Top Soil!, begot many from this so lofty rotting sustainer. The Earth moved, continents bellowed out cries, and soon mountains broke the seal. They, the bottom dwellers, grasped air, embedded half into the new faces of cliffs that they near touched the ceiling. One man first rose up to the precipice, stepped first on that solid ground, and upon his eyes a lush valley was before him. A valley filled with bountious animals: the mole, the shrew, and others too. He wept, then said thusly:
“Oh you holy one who gave birth to all greenery. Who sacrificed your eyes and gave up your hands, then your hair made branches of trees, while your toes grew roots. Whose lungs breathed leaves. Whose hair sprouted flowers. Sacred are you who gave so much, that we may yet prosper. If only you could have told us your master plan. How you were to die for us that we may have worshipped you then between that marble and granite, but of course.”
And the wind blew.
“Indeed I have done this for thee! Naturally I knew to seed this paradise! You are all my most beloved, oh yes my most beloved! How your praise fills my heart! My eyes saw your stoicism, my ears heard your daring tales, my toes felt your strength, my fingers touched your grateful heart! My nose inhaled your clean scent. As the animals dragged me away, oh how my soul gushed with love for thee. You of the stone. You who were safe below me. You who heard my cries as I was torn apart... ahaha, was very fine! You who heard my cries as my loins were stripped, who smelled my bowels empty and drip down! Who saw my face contort in most wonderful ways. Pride you saw, oh yes pride! Loving Pride! All I have done for you, of course, yes, indeed, quite, naturally, undoubtedly yes, no other way! Now I am free - I travel in the shit of Deer, the piss of Salmon, the seed of Elephants! Now I’m everywhere - under the feet of dogs; behind the ears of rats, between the toes of Pigs! I pass in the gas of Apes, the burps of Men!”
And thus those of the stone venerated the sacred soil and wind.
And the wind and soul cursed in forever silence.

>>19107303
The theory i'm hearing circulate is that Africas population explosion will lead to boatloads of blacks landing in america. Since blacks are really savage and universally hated, there will be a massive backlash

>>19107359
>even the people who hate degeneracy coom to it now
They coom to it more than anyone. Only people who are all sexually fucked up get emotionally invested in this stuff.

>>19107365
SOIL*

I used to be so pretentious

>>19107393
Yeah ik because i'm one of them

>>19107370
This is the near future
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=161h1o168xU

Except with "British" Paki mayors rounding up any slices of the white population that rebel. America will balkanize.

>>19106566
I thought Catholic guilt was a meme until I suddenly began feeling guilty for falling in love with a girl who is already taken.
Unironically feel unworthy and like a criminal for having such feelings.

>>19107427
I didn't really understand that movie. People can't breed so society dissolves into anarchy?

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>>19107075
Enlighten me on the story of Dark Souls. I never really understood it.

>>19107467
based schizo-bro

>>19107483
For the actual facts of the story you’d be best served watching some lore channel on YouTube but for a barebones summary: you play as a nameless undead who sets out to “link the fire”. Essentially the world is currently in the age of fire, and has been since Gwyn and co defeated the eternal dragons. The age of fire is sustained by the first flame, and the story takes place as said flame is dimming. So you set out to collect the lord souls and feed yourself to the fire to continue the age of fire or bring about the age of dark. What makes it compelling is that it’s basically a Spenglerian fantasy epic set in the twilight of a civilization. The first flame is a pretty clear analogy for the animating metaphysical principle of a civilization, for example. The whole game is just example after example of the faded glory of a once-great age. Even themes of historical cycles in it. Not sure if it’s intentional or if it simply speaks to the same truths that Spengler articulated on its own but I like it either way.

I don't want to explain why, but something really, really good just happened. like I re-integrated a lost part of my brain, and that part is really, really wholesome, and I don't think it's going away.

>>19107579
>The whole game is just example after example of the faded glory of a once-great age. Even themes of historical cycles in it.
TOLKIEN DID IT! TOLKIEN DID IT!

>>19107579
It's a shame the gameplay is so trash

I hate normalfags.

>>19107751
Unironically filtered

>>19107767
Meant this for >>19107745

I had slid firmly into mediocrity and disappointment before I ever even know what I was doing.

Theyre gonna make a live action Mario movie

>>19107856
I fucking love elephants

there has only ever been one video game, and that video game is Mario 64

>>19107915
Pac-Man

>>19107930
not a video game

>>19107780
Worls for both.

The manuscripts I wrote had value to me. But a manuscript is so much more than just what one writes, it's the enviroment, friends, and events one writes them in.

>>19106962
The most sympathetic take I can give is also a sad one. Namely, the past generation fucked up. Fucked up bad. You know how with the Oscars they're always trying to give best picture to someone who got snubbed, which results in more snubbing?

That's kind of what I see. The guilt of those who made it by throwing others under the bus, and that very same guilt causes them to throw more under the bus because their mistakes keep compounding.

Our sympathy, too late, after the fact, might well destroy us.

Or they're degenerate sex pervets reveling in how much shit they can get away with by wearing a dress, I dunno.

In my life there was a bit of humor though. My university introduced gender neutral bathrooms, and prospective students ooh'd and ahh'd at the change.

...The janitor just replaced the Unisex sign of the bathroom with Gender Neutral.

>>19107997
I used to take my biggest, nastiest shits in the gender neutral bathroom. Out of principle, of course

I regret getting vaccinated.

>>19107997
My freshman dorm had gender neutral bathrooms which were almost always empty. I started taking showers there to avoid the wait for the ones in the men's room. One day I ran into a girl there who gave me a look of disgust, and the next week the gender neutral bathrooms went back to being normal women's bathrooms. It didn't bother me that much, but I still wonder how she phrased her complaint to the RA. "There was a man in the gender neutral bathroom!" "Yes, and...?"

why does french sound like everyone's tongue is swollen

https://forvo.com/word/la_princesse_de_cl%C3%A8ves/

>>19107997
My faculty has two bathrooms in the first floor, one next to the other, both gender neutral. The students have totally segregated themselves, men go to the left and women to the right. No one talks about it or even acknowledges it. You get weird looks if you go to the wrong one.

>>19107767
>>19107780
>le rolling out of harms way 200x per fight is le fun
I don't know about you, but I play games to immerse myself in a world & story. Not to spam buttons in meme fights, even if the world design is cool.

>>19108293
If you can’t get immersed in the world because of the combat you got filtered. Also, only dark souls 3 has roll spamming

>>19108130
wait till you hear quebec french

Titty bop bop boppin'
My heart just keeps stopping

Brain stem disconnected after trying to stretch my neck out as far as possible...

I struggle with vocabulary recall. When I read, I’m perfectly familiar with terms and rarely have to look them up. Even books that are known for having difficult vocabulary, I have no problem with. I’ve tested myself with a test I found online and apparently, I’m very much above average in this regard. And yet, when I speak or when I write it’s like I’m a fucking retard. I can’t recall anything. I default to a low brow pattern of speech and a very small arsenal of words.

>>19108493
Same XD

>>19108493
I have the exact same issue, I've always attributed it to the massive amount of drugs I put inside me as a teenager fucking my mind. There are times I want to use a specific word during speech or in writing and it'll just be out of mental reach. The concept and comprehension of the term I'm reaching for is there but recalling it itself always something I'll struggle with for several minutes before finally remembering.

don't go out tonight, it's bound to take your life
there's a bad moon on the rise

I really need to mind my own business more. For some reason, I get really angered by other people's lifestyle choices. When I see fat people for example. Or my fat roommate, who sleeps in until 12:30pm every single day, doesn't exercise, and eats like shit all the time. It doesn't effect me so I shouldn't care, but I hate to see people wasting their one shot at life being unhealthy.

>>19107074
>Some kind of cataclysm is required, something that makes the average mass in-the-middle 80% TV watcher instinctively say "for fuck's sake, enough of this"
I tthink no such thing can exist. I lliterally cannot imagine modern white people to go "enough of this", they are completely passive

>>19106566
I'm 21 and I never feel horny
I'm not on antidepressants
I probably watched too much porn these past few years

>>19108676
It's right to be disgusted by human waste

>>19108676
>who sleeps in until 12:30pm every single day
how

>>19109114
yea guys...h-how...

>>19108309
It's not that it's not immersive, it's that it's not fun.
If I play a game and I don't have fun, I quit.
Simple as.

>>19109114
>>19109120
I usually sleep in till 1 pm, sometimes 2 or 3.
Granted I usually go to bed between 2-6 AM

>>19109180
What do you do for work? Graveyard shift?

>>19109184
I'm a student atm, but all my classes are online.
I doordash/uber when I need money.

I'm in this weird spot where I've started this family and I'm proud of the man I am at home, but I'm just so totally miserable at work. I feel like I focused so much on finding the perfect girl, and being everything for her I can, that I never really pursued my dreams. She's been so sweet the entire time we've been together and I love her so much, but I feel like I'll never get the version of my life were I was a starving artist and really honed my craft. I want to change careers, but it would be so irresponsible so I just have to stick it out longer where I'm at.

On the other hand, I know in some alternate history I just stayed a recluse, never pursued someone out of pure love, and probably grew up jaded about personal relationships. I'd probably of spent every moment lamenting how I'd give it all up to be a family man. Maybe that version of me writes passionately for hours at a time, no family taking up his personal time, but I'd of been lonely. As lonely as I was before her. I would of stopped leaving my house after a multitude of embarrassing dates. Maybe of had one or two college girls tell me I wasn't emotionally available or mature enough for them.

This isn't why I stay with them. I stay with them because I love them. I just have this deep sorrow for what could of been, and even though I try to cope, reasoning I'd be just as bad off without them, it doesn't make me any less sad. I'm honest with myself so I'm always happy and I'm always sad.

I hate that I have to stay late at work tomorrow, but my son learned colors today and I'm so proud.

I never get time to read or write except for a few hours a day maybe five times a week, but my wife slept in so she could cuddle me after five years of marriage.

You were such a motherfucking waste of my time when I could have been saving up, I could have been planning, I could have been half way to where I need to go.

But instead I was stuck here for fucking years being an emotional tampon always for your needs without any reciprocation at all. I never should have come back after that stint in the hospital. You never cared enough to even visit me once or even ask if everything was okay after it was over. I feel so fucking sick for being used like I was, wasting the best of myself for a suicidal, bi-polar, fuck up of a person. Why did I let my emotions get the better of me? Why did I not see this sooner? Why was I so fucking blind to what you were doing to me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJztazY65Mw

>>19109172
Well sure if you approach dark souls (or sh2 for that matter) as pure entertainment you’re not gonna get much out of it.

>>19109470
Pretty much mate, while story, atmosphere, characters, etc are all important to me in games, the most important thing is whether or not it's fun to play. For me, anyway.
Games that don't fit this formula never really work for me, and quite frankly, aren't what I'm looking for when I'm wanting to play games.
They're an escape.
If I want to challenge myself, I'll do something IRL. Not in a meaningless digital world.

>>19109376
Sounds fucking wonderful.

>>19106566
I will create the Gesamtkunstwerk of our generation. I do not possess the genius of Wagner but I have nascent talent in two separate artforms, youth, a willingness for recognition and desire to put in hard work, and if things go truly awry I will use machine intelligence to make up the difference when it becomes optimized for creativity. I do not have the budget to realize my works, but I hope that in time I will get the connections I need (though this is a much later concern). Wish me luck bros.

>>19109376
Life is long anon, there will be time for your hobbies when your kids are a bit older - which I am sure will go by before you know it

>>19109606
First of all no, it is I who will create the Gesamtkunstwerk and I've said this a few times on this board. In what way will your project be a Gesamtkunstwerk? What will you try to express with it?

>I do not possess the genius of Wagner
Well, NGMI

>>19109606
>I have nascent talent in two separate artforms
Fag who likes to write and draw for a hobby like literally all of us thinks he is the second coming of Wagner

I am mentally exhausted and this art project is driving me insane and I just want to daydream about my coomer fantasies and not have to think about anything but I absolutely need to finish this Derrida book before I go to Russia in 7 days. Sooo I will read some Derrida instead of being unproductive.

>>19109746
I can't believe I said "unproductive". What a shit word.

>>19108043
Me too

>>19106566
Going to university has been such a waste of time, especially since covid.
God I fucked up so bad

>>19109658
>NGMI
I don't think genius is something you're born with. It might seem that way, and there are certainly factors in a person's life that can predispose them to creative eminence, but in the end dedication and obsession triumph over natural gifts. Of course you can have all that and still fail, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. (I really recommend Ochse's Before the Gates of Excellence for a good read on creative genius)

>In what way will your project be a Gesamtkunstwerk?
In that it's a total work of art encompassing aspects of experience that can't be expressed in an isolated medium. Vague, I know and basically the definition of the word, but it's the best I can do on here for now. Partly because I don't want to share too much when my ideas are undeveloped and I'm also not at the stage where I'm skilled enough to realize them.

I will say that as of now I'd like to realize my vision through audiovisual means, ideally film, and in a way that doesn't relegate sound to something to be played merely in the background. It is imperative to me that the music is part of the narrative and has an active role in its outcome, especially for one of the stories I have in mind.

>What will you try to express with it?
As of now, universal philosophical themes about life, death, time, the eternal. I want to make the audience forget time through time. Maybe even affect the way they experience things in the long term as well. I had a personal phase where I felt the urge to cut through the chaff of the temporal, and find the truth which lying behind appearances, but now I want to celebrate the appearances themselves. I want to make things that celebrate mystery most of all.

>>19109678
Close. I write and write music, not draw. I'm not the second coming of Wagner. But I'm dedicating my life to this mission. I really do believe this is what I was put on this earth to do. I believe I am meant to bring these works into existence for the world.

>>19109658
Hbu? Tell me about your Gesamtkunstwerk.

>>19109815
It's better than working for corporate faggots

>>19109834
>in the end dedication and obsession triumph over natural gifts
well, as the saying goes, hard work beats talent if talent doesn't work hard. emphasis on if. the truly "gifted" always stand a rung above others, unless they neglect their gifts. that's just how it is. life's not an even playing ground in any way or meaning

Thousands of beautiful women pass by me every day. Spirit corrupt or pure, their allure is one that's quite attractive. The pleasure of body I've felt with countless repetition. But none of them cause my heart to stir, for in the end, not one of them is her.

>>19109834
I am curious. How old are you? And how many years do you think it will take for you to create the Gesamtkunstwerk (starting from now)? Who are your artistic, philosophical and conceptual/spiritual inspirations?

>It is imperative to me that the music is part of the narrative and has an active role in its outcome, especially for one of the stories I have in mind.
Which stories do you have in mind?

>>19109853
>Hbu? Tell me about your Gesamtkunstwerk.
I write and paint. I study semiotics and language. My postulate is that visual expression through images (so, in my case, painting) is a language in itself and can be used systematically (as a regime of signs) to communicate meaning. Like in the case of hieroglyphs. I want to create my own language out of signs/symbols, and then define the meaning of each sign/symbol through writing, allowing the symbols to express themselves in the narrative. Oh and of course I want to tell interesting stories through this medium. I have a lot of stories to tell about theatre, dance and Russia in the 1900s.

>>19109853
By the way I encourage you to pursue your project and wish you luck. I think it's very important that different artists do this right now through different mediums so that a few differently expressed Gesamtkunstwerks come out of the 21st century. Forgot to say this in my previous post.

>>19108130
Filtered by a superior language

I had a dumb idea for a PKD-style short story which I will now share, because I can't and don't care to write.

Sleep can be bought and sold. The rich buy more waking hours from a poor underclass who sleep their lives away. But the protagonist was a sleeper all along, dreaming of being part of the waking world

I am on the verge of dating an active escort. My cuck saviour complex and insatiable lust have blinded my judgment. I might get some good material out of it though.

>>19110192
The most kino type of relationship there is (except of course, WMAF)

Fuck the gym my dudes. Two days after leg day, my calves seized up. It's like it's constantly cramped. Fuck this.

>>19106566
I want a twink bf to race me in his R32 Skyline. I'll take the 911 and the winner gets to screw the other uwu

>>19108043
>>19109780
Why? Genuinely curious.

>>19106714
What group are you referring to?

>>19110192
>>19110242
Both of these hit too close to home...

I knew this girl would drive me to the brink of madness but continued anyway because I thought it would be good for my writing. As it turns out the brink of madness is no place to write.
Do anons believe there are people in this world who are simply incapable of having self-esteem? No success raises my spirit. Artistic, financial, sexual. Nothing satisfies me. What I really want is a profound spiritual marriage with someone I really love, to lead a heroic life and die heroically. And the world doesn't permit that. What is happening to me?

I have never had a "normal" influence, everyone I've grown up with has been unhinged to a large degree. I live in an area where people are "rich" (most being in extreme debt) and are either highly strung, manipulative sociopaths or autistic. I don't blame most of them and I don't want to be defined by my past but I believe it's severely stunted my development.

>>19110346
>What I really want is a profound spiritual marriage with someone I really love
literally why are you actively tormenting yourself with women who hurt you then?

>>19110242
WMAF>WMBF>WMLF>WMNAF>WMWF

>>19110386
Because I feel like this woman is the only one I share a remotely spiritual / intellectual connection with. It's everything else that gets in the way

>>19110432
shit man I guess I relate. good luck out there

>>19110527
Cheers mate, comforting to hear someone gets it actually

i slept for over 18 hours and now i have incredible pain in my neck

>>19110587
How did you achieve this? I can't sleep more than four hours continuously, I have to do it in chunks to get the hours I need

>>19110596
i had to get up for 2 hours at some point to get a covid test

i think i abused too many stimulants

Is it a cope to characterise suicide as a rebellion against a depraved culture? Or is it possible to legitimately despair at the way things are?

>>19110662
I think it's a cope. your only duty is to tend to your soul which won't die when you die, so suicide won't help you escape anything worth escaping

I'm thinking of trying to make it a lifelong habit to stay awake on my intial wake up from sleep. For too long, I've woken up early and when I've gone back to sleep, I've overlsept.

Tik Tok made me face the fact that girls <21 have a special glow that fades. The model industry knows this all to well but its increasingly apparent to me that girls been the age of 15-21 occupy the peak stage of enticing youth and fertility which makes it a shame that our culture has made us repress this fact.
>inb4 pedo
Kys

>>19110719
you're completely correct

>>19110398
>NA
North African? Non-asian?

>>19110346
Your desire can only be satisfied in the ultimate Goodness, God (kino film choice).

>>19110243
The least important muscle to exercise anyway

>>19110719
You forgot the rampant use of facial and body filters on that app, friend.

Tim Dillon is my favorite comedian.. He has the best podcast going at the moment

>>19110719
when buddha lists what are the features of the most attractive woman possible, I believe she is 15 years old

>>19110752
having gone to a whopping 2 (!) boxing-training passes I think it is a muscle/group that is tremendously useful in fighting

>>19110719
Yeah well it's top special glow/"enticing youth" for men to if you're gay

I think I may have the delta. I am vaxxed but I have a persistent cold and it's probably getting worse on this its 4th or so day. It's possible I feel some shit in my lungs. I have had pneumonia before, I'm not 100% sure if it felt like this as it was beginning. I do believe you could feel it in your lungs days before it really started.. no, it was probably not like this, I think it was more a pain when I coughed. Still though.

>>19110818
*Too

>>19110812
having said this, the last two women i were crazy about were 38 (me then being about 26) and 32 (me then being about 28) years old, so idk

>arguing with some anon in a thread
>while I was trying to type my retort someone else preteneding to me replies to the moron
>mfw I just sit back watch as one anon pretends to be me and the other still thinks he's talking to me

i don't know what to do with my time now. she wasn't just a girlfriend. she was someone i could talk with for hours and share things with. my life feels so empty now.

>>19110845
Sometimes when I see a heated argument I throw in a couple of random 'have sex' or 'dilate' comments just to derail things even further.

>>19110852
kek

was swimming in a cold lake. later coming home, on a bus two zoomers sit right behind me. hear them speak switching from local European language to English: sentence to sentence naturally. perhaps, too naturally. >tfw I'm a doomer-boomer dinosaur watching how big on alive they are while I'm pure gone. hear they drop 'amogus', 'rule 34'. see one of them hoping off: literal child around 10yo.
they are cool though, shouldn't be going to school ever.

>>19110881
>tfw I'm a doomer-boomer dinosaur watching how big on alive they are while I'm pure gone.
Take solace from the fact that they'll be living through the same in a few years, anon.

>>19110748
That's what I've sensed for a while. Film choice is related to the situation. I felt very close to true faith in God until I met her. Now I've been a bit shaken

>>19110845
I enjoy doing that sometimes. I also like when someone randomly takes over for me and does a better job arguing than I did

I feel myself maturing

>>19110998
entering the adult type void way or what

>>19109860
Thats all university trains you to do

>>19111108
Lol, no it doesn't.

>>19110432
No you don't. You just happen to know her well and understand her. Doesn't mean shit about any spiritual connection. You're codependent. Move on

>>19110719
There's definitely a youthfulness in face they lose around 20. It's disturbed me to notice this. Compare Kristen Dunst from Drop Dead Gorgeous to Spider Man. Charm is completely gone

>>19110824
Being put on a ventilator is a death sentence. Dont let them ventilate you

>>19110992
I like when I only make one or two comments and some anons down the thread cite my post to supplement their argument

>>19111122
You're right. I guess you could become a teacher, an academic, or a bureaucrat

>>19111137
Cheers mate, probably true in reality. But the dream is very seductive

Don't think I'll be eligible for free Euro gibs this semester due to flunking last semester, money slowly running out. Might just quit my studies altogether, I'm not even in a program and I've been on the verge of snapping for 1 year straight now. During last lecture I almost lost it at a question from fagit professor

>>19111227
I'm pretty damn sure higher education is designed to demoralize people

>>19106962
relentless propaganda on both sides

>>19106690
Thanks I’ll check them out

>>19109887
Fair enough, but creative achievement is not as simplistic as people often think it is. I recommend that others read the book because in my own case I recognized some traits I shared with 'great' creators- namely the desire for recognition (which was an issue I whipped myself in my teen years because I thought I was an artistic fraud). I was somewhat intelligent as a child and wasted some of my potential in the intervening years, but I think I can muster up the energy to do my best to make up for lost time.

>>19109999
I'm 21. By my estimate it will take me decades at the very least. I spent a lot of my teen years creating music, so I have developed some abilities in that regard, but I don't have nearly a strong enough grasp of composition or sound design to create what I have in mind.

I'd say my inspirations include some Romantic composers, electronic musicians (especially those focused on textures), and McCarthy, who also introduced me to a lot of other writers. I'm still in the process of discovery, though, and definitely not the finished article. Spiritually, I'm from a Christian turned agnostic background but Buddhism took hold of me recently via Schopenhauer.

>Which stories do you have in mind?
In the one involving sound, a reflection of music from many vantages- from its treatment in Classical times, all the way to jazz and music in its current mass-produced/digitized state. Involving a mute protagonist. Bits and pieces like that are apparent to me now. Catalyst for it was a children's book I read when I was young.

>>19110013
>semiotics and language
That's really interesting. I'm curious as to how you'd tell those stories, with paintings being instantaneous. Not to say that you wouldn't be able to do it. I admire the ambition to create your own visual language-- I suppose in some ways that's what I'm going for in sound as well.

>>19110019
And thanks anon, I encourage you to pursue it as well. Hope we make it!

>>19106993
>I just want to build shit and go dirt-biking.
Armed and dangerously based

I kept forgetting the words I need the most

>>19111363
hells angels is a solid 7/10 imo, interesting read

Everything I could have hoped for career has been achieved. I think I love this girl and she loves me but if we continue this relationship, it's gonna create a Romeo and Juliet tier fiasco. I don't know why I like her..she isn't that hot and actually like anime which is an anathema for me. Will I regret not pursuing this relationship? Or by leaving would I be leaving my love for her in an Orphean stasis in my mind? Wtf fuck

>>19106993
Everyone I know from high school to university uses youtube to clarify what they're learnjng. Pretty sad fucking state of affairs when YouTube is a better educator than the institutions we pay thousands of dollars to attend. I mean, what a fucking joke that the classes are several hundred dollars, at least, and you can just get the same information for free from the internet.
Fuck even the contractor I work uses youtube on just about every job we do. Higher education is obsolete I want the institutions razed.

>>19106566
It’s hard for me to put into terms why I hate my corporate office job. The coworkers I have are fairly nice people although at times NPC-ish, one of them is great friend from college whom I respect and enjoy talking with a lot. My boss is never pushy, never micro manages me, is very chill and understands a good work life balance. I’ve never been pressured or harassed to do something outside my job requirements, and was given a very fair raise this past year.

The problem lies in that while I’m here in the office, or discussing anything work related, I feel like an observer or a puppet. It’s a facade pretending to be the real deal. I express opinions that aren’t my own, I take actions that I don’t want or care to do, I have conversations where I am animated about topics that realistically bore the shit out of me. It’s the mockery of life that is my problem with the job. It’s the fact that everyday I have to pretend to think and do things like someone I’m not. My decisions aren’t my own, I’m simply watching from the sideline as I play the part. That’s why I hate my office job, I don’t know how anyone could stand doing this until 65. I have a side job where none of the above is true, and it fulfills me and inspires me to be better everyday. It’s challenging in a way where I want to be better. I’m going to quit this office job by the end of next year, I think I have to for my mental sanity.

>finish stem degree
>burnout and get in depression
>can only get minimal wage job (street cleaning)
haha, my life is a fucking joke.

fucking luigi got stiffed again

I was having family dinner and I talked about having heart palpitations every night
so my dad brought his heart-rate monitor (HRM) about 8-9 PM to measure my heartbeat. Measured twice and I got almost 140 BPM both times. My dad has high blood pressure but it's much worse than him. I was a bit stressed because of college assessments and maybe it's side effects from meds or coffee (had one cup today) but I honestly I feel similar every night even without them. No wonder I have a hard time going to sleep. Is this a normal thing for chronic anxiety? Thinking about seeing a doctor regardless.

>>19111513
>can only get minimal wage job (street cleaning)
Why? Are there no other options?

>>19111573
I don't know much about this, but I think a doctor is a good idea. I think my resting heartbeat of about 65 is a little high. it's probably just stress as you say but better safe

>>19111573
For fuck sake what is wrong with this generation? Why are you all neurotic and decrepit?

>>19111576
too much of a job gap since previous job.

>>19111589
why not desu

>>19110752
My corner right is now is that I can barely walk without the ability to move it.

What does it mean if I'm ugly but I think I'm really attractive?

>>19111721
That you're confident, and that's cool anon

>>19111721
chad soul

>Have an incredible amount of stuff to do today this is extremely time limited
>the clock is running out
>Haven't done any of it and just nonchalantly procrastinating on my computer

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished"

"Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing"
-Laozi

>>19111589
Come on shouldn't it be obvious at this point? Most of us zoomers are at a point in our lives where we need to take on risk-taking behaviors. We obviously cannot do that to the extent your generation did because of 1) a hyper-surveillant state recording and keeping tabs on everything we do and 2) wealth disparity. I read a story about some kid in the 70s working on a farm and racing people at a local pool hall to buy himself a mustang at 16. Fucking 16. No 16 year old today could get away with something like that let alone buy a mustang from a willing dealership. But that's just the tip of the iceberg really.

>>19111596
lie nigga

>>19111596
Thats ridiculous. The job market is ridiculous. How can thethey expect you to get educated and maintain a rigorous job history. The world is fucking retarded

>>19112039
he does also say that a wise man will not put himself in a situation where he has a lot of obligations

Bayonetta always looked terrible.

>>19112039
I doubt Laozi had to do as many things as you have to do today.
You should hop on that anon, were not living in the 6th-century BC.

>>19112117
i live in a rather small country so they'd check.
>>19112133
it's my fault. i had a massive depressive episode and now it's practically too late for any better job. i doubt that having street sweeper experience will make my resume any better than continuing job gap.

I successfully did not smoke this week(mon-thurs)
Now I get to smoke tonight and Saturday night(and maybe Sunday) and then hopefully I continue this new weed smoking schedule. Although last time(a month ago) I failed and started smoking every night again. Anyways, if all goes well then I will be changing my moniker to something more fitting. I'm thinking "the deng xiaoping of weed smoking" or maybe zhou enlai but once again I am open to suggestions. It does not need to be related to Chinese politics.

>>19112222

Good job bro, Your body is a temple

I had a dream that a mechanical pencil transformer found its way to my room, and when it transformed into its humanoid form it looked like an attractive female, so I stuck my penis inside it and the transformer became attached to the sensation I gave it. I was afraid it'd find out that others could give it this sensation and probably better than me, so I'd have it stay in mechanical pencil form until nighttime when I'd have my way with it.

>>19112222
Only allow yourself to Smokey weed in pristine nature or while reading proper literature. Worked wonders for me, I never go outside or read so I never smoke anymore

>>19112048
>your generation
I am also zoomer. Your complaints about the economic conditions are valid. But what ever the fuck is wrong with this generation fsr exceeds economic struggle. There's just this lifelessness to everyone.

>>19112213
Even more ridiculous. People get punished for struggling. I really am at a point where I fucking hate everything. I had a major depressive moment as well and now i'm fucked in a whole variety of ways. It just pisses me off

i have to have a covid test to go the the snowfields even though there is under 1000 active cases that are over 100KM away.
this is fucking retarded "papers please" shit

>>19112222
i've been weed free for over a year and a half now. i would love to smoke but i know i'd be straight back to failing classes and smoking every day

anything to anesthetize myself from this existence

>>19112397
it just the unfairness of world. we're the slackers in the eyes of working people.

She laughed to try and convince herself she had not wasted her life with this man.

>>19112265
Thank you
>>19112337
unfortunately I'm not a productive stoner, reading high does not work for me
>>19112443
man I feel that. one day id like to stop for at least a year just to know what that feels like but for now I have to compromise and continue using it weekends(partly because i still enjoy it). I still need some form of cope.

Every girl I've met in the last 4 months has expected sex within 3 dates, what the fuck man.

I thought for a long time that I was slowly losing my mind. But I think thats passed. I think I've already lost my mind. I thought it would have been an explosive event. The reality is that I just faded into a dream like rhythm.
I used to think I could weather all trials and laugh right in the face of fate. I guess not. I am defeated.

>>19112550
At least you are not gay

>>19111721
It's called being based

>>19112561
Maybe being gay is the way to escape whores. I need to get the fuck out of the city.

>>19112561
Just stop being gay

Cold war, stagflation, price shocks...the 70s are back baby

>>19112550
I only realized in hindsight how many girls I must have pissed off while I was going on casual dates by being too slow to act. I am autistic and out of touch with the current culture so I thought I had to get to know a girl first before trying to sleep with her. I thought at least you're supposed to ramp up your sexual activity from date to date before arriving at full sex. I like doing this, it makes it more meaningful.

But in hindsight, now that I know more about the culture, a lot of women interpreted my slowness as rejection. I can really remember some things in a different light now, things that only seemed strange at the time, like when one girl got really mad at me for taking her home and not trying to sleep with her, and complained to our mutual friend that she must be unattractive. But I didn't sleep with her exactly because I was so charmed by her, and she revealed so many nice things about herself that I wasn't expecting on that date, that I didn't want to cheapen it by reducing it all to the prelude to a hookup.

I also have memories of girls telling me that they have a boyfriend at practically the last minute before we became intimate, and I took this as a sign that they were guilty about cheating and wanted me to stop. But in hindsight I think they wanted to absolve their guilt by saying it and having me initiate the intimacy anyway. One girl told me, after a date when we had gone back to her apartment, that she only had 45 minutes before she had to go out with some friends late that night. I took this as a sign that she was trying to prevent me thinking my presence at her apartment was an indication of willingness to initiate intimacy, but in hindsight my not initiating intimacy that night caused the relationship to end.

I didn't really enjoy casual dating. I find it demeaning for everyone involved and it continuously shows off a side of human nature that makes me sad.

>>19112155
Looks like /lit/ has finally gone too far

I haven't jerked off in 5 days

My desire for killing is overflowing right now. Somebody talk me out of it.

>>19112829
>I am autistic and out of touch with the current culture so I thought I had to get to know a girl first before trying to sleep with her. I thought at least you're supposed to ramp up your sexual activity from date to date before arriving at full sex. I like doing this, it makes it more meaningful.

You've got the right idea, again, the problem is just whores. Sex is an affirmation of love but too many women think it's a normal part of a casual relationship. The average person is so spiritually dull I can barely stand it.

>>19112916
Forensic science is very advanced, you will get caught.
Killing is immoral. It's one of the 10 commandments. Thou shalt not kill

>>19112916
harboring ill will is one of the few truly harmful things you can do to yourself. You can love anon.

>>19112561
I imagine that being gay is nice in the sense that you don’t have to deal with women’s bullshit, that any communication that takes place is more frank and direct. Does this sound plausible or are men just as bad because of horniness etc?

>>19113020
From what I've heard gay men are bitchier than women, like women on hyperdrive. Also very untrustworthy because they're so horny.

>>19113020
Theoretically, if you could just find one cute guy that makes being gay worth it then you're set. I consider myself a decent looking, straight passing, by the book type so I know they must exist. Generally, in practice, gay men are wired to want sex on a first date even if they want a relationship, and that's the part that bothers me.

These PBS documentaries are really fantastic. I think some of you guys would love them.

>>19112829
This REALLY hits too close to home for me. I really see sex as the culmination of getting psychologically intimate. Doing it at the start makes it feel like there's no end point ("telos" or whatever). Maybe they have a perspective on sex that integrates it early on into strong relationships, though. We shouldn't dismiss it out of hand necessarily, different cultures have looked at it different ways over the years

>>19113004
Based
>>19113020
I envy the fact that you've clearly never met a homo

Some girl blocked me after attacking me for being religious. She's an ex-muslim atheist from an arab country. It's been like 2 months since the incident and I think I was unblocked but I removed her from all my social media. Talked to her today in the elevator and I'm wondering if I should try adding her on instagram again.

>>19106566
There's a definite split. Now what is a direction without a direction? A paradox, fatness, fatass. Intellectual subjugation.

>>19113020
My brother turned gay for exactly that reasom

>>19113097
Thats retarded. you're retarded for even considering it

>>19113124
You think so? We were just 'friends who sat together on the bus' for like a year.

>>19110250
Homoerotic racing is a genre I never knew I needed. Imagine boys boasting about their rides, polishing their fenders, eyeing each other with a fierce lust.

>>19113097
This is an opportunity to learn a major life lesson and improve as a person. The life lesson is "women aren't special." You think you already know this but you don't, because if you did, you wouldn't be considering wasting any more of your life on this idiot.

Men have special low expectations for women because they instinctively see women as something other than men. A man doing something retarded is just a person being a retard, but a woman being retarded is "what did she mean by this??? should I add her again???? where is this all headed?" It's headed nowhere. She's a retard. Think about if this were a man. Think about the normal level of "lol wtf retard" and "never talking to this retard again" you'd have. You'd basically demote him to the status of an inanimate object that smells bad. Your only future relations with him would be "stay as far away from as possible, stinks and is retarded."

But because it's a woman, you're doing all kinds of extra mental gymnastics. The kinds of things parents do about their dumb kids because they are biologically compelled to excuse their behavior because it's just growing pains or idiosyncratic and the kid is otherwise fine or he'll smooth out these rough edges later.

Women are the children of men, and they're all rough edges because no man ever forces them to smooth their shit out when they do retarded shit like this. Treat this woman to the response she deserves for being an erratic cunt with no sense that her actions may have permanent consequences and permanently alienate people. You will be doing her, yourself, and everybody else a favor in the long run.

Even if you just want to fuck her, women notice when a man reverts to simp mode and forgives them for acting like shit. That means you have no standards.

>>19113143
She's obviously unstable.

>>19113086
That's because that is what sex is.

>>19113097
If she attacks you for something as serious as that then you can't risk getting entangled with her. If you're profoundly religious, consider the state of your soul. If you're not, consider the state of your mind.

.

>>19110849
You're describing a girlfriend, literally. Move on

bros, is it a sign of weakness to have suicidal urges?

>>19113201
Maybe, but it depends where it emanates from.
If it's from fear of being a failure then it's weakness. If it's from dissatisfaction with your environment then you would do well to overcome those urges and channel it against that which made you have them to begin with.

>>19113201
no, but if it gets persistent you should seek help

>>19113201
No it's one of the first and most natural things to do when you are in a herd of herdmen and first stick your head above the herd and think wait I'm not herd for the first time

It's an essential form of sovereignty over oneself that no slave can imagine having, and when you are freed from slavery you naturally consider many kinds of self-sovereignty. That doesn't mean you have to go with it, any more than you have to go with the urge to become a dissolute opiate addict and waste away over the next 5 years simply because you can. Purely negative freedom is a precondition for real actually exercised freedom.

The only danger is getting stuck in the pit of negative freedom spinning your wheels between the false trichotomy "re-become herd," "jack off on opium while playing video games," and "die" forever.

>>19113159
Thanks, this was the post I needed to read today.

>Even if you just want to fuck her
That's probably all there is to it, I should have more self-respect and not want to fuck someone like her and stop behaving so animalistic just because she makes my dick hard.

>>19112829
>I also have memories of girls telling me that they have a boyfriend at practically the last minute before we became intimate
Actually happened when I went over to her room and put my hand on her tit. But before I could answer, her phone rang and it actually was her boyfriend calling. And then when I apologized, she excused my actions as "just tickling" but by then I was too weirded out to stay any longer that day.

>>19113244
man how are you getting yourself into these situations anyway

>>19113257
Which part?

>>19113271
>Actually happened when I went over to her room and put my hand on her tit. But before I could answer, her phone rang and it actually was her boyfriend calling. And then when I apologized, she excused my actions as "just tickling" but by then I was too weirded out to stay any longer that day.

in some whores room touching her tits when she has a boyfriend

>>19113288
Not him but this has happened to me multiple times. Women are messed up. All of their main activities in life revolve around men, and thus all their problems are man related, and all the solutions to their problems revolve around men, like cheating to make themselves feel desirable again or to get revenge.

>>19113298
I thank God that I have had the foresight and good fortune to have never been involved with such a mentally ill woman.

>>19113288
I never saw her with another guy before. Then she lays it on me she's dating a fucking 50-year-old dude!

It was weird, because it was the most aggressive I had ever been with a girl. I went over to chat with her in her room and like within a minute of us sitting on the couch together my hands were on her thighs. A few minutes pass and I escalate by tickling her and that's when I put my hands on her breasts, and with a blank face she says, "Have you met my boyfriend?" and right out of a movie her phone instantly starts ringing. I'm usually way more reserved around girls yet for some reason I just wanted to fuck her. No clue what would have happened if the phone hadn't ring, because it was my sobering moment to realize I should stop whatever the fuck I'm doing and get out of there. But then again, maybe because she's from in an arab country she's used to being groped regularly? That's what they say happens there, anyway.

>>19113331
She's dating a 50 year old man, she's comfortable with you touching her breasts because she's a whore. It has nothing to do with being from an Arab country lmao.

>>19113331
Man you sound like a decent guy if you're genuinely freaked-out enough for her cheating to kill your mood. Don't waste yourself on these women

>>19113201
Weakness is relative. Suicidal urges are borderline-universal. Glory in them as the forge of your soul. Expect to become wiser for the experience

>>19106566
I have been masturbating to this twink/femboy who looks a lot like my mom and my sister. I feel awful.
It isn't even because of any incestous stuff. What makes me feel much worse is that I could have looked as good as him had I been lucky with the genetic lotery.
I often get told that I'm handsome or cute, but when I look in the mirror, then I look at him, and I feel humilliated.

>>19113229
Theres a very real stigma about depression and suicide. Mentioningit to anyone, ESPECIALLY a professional is a life sentence under hyper vigilant medical tyrants. At that point, death is preferable, ironically.

>>19113298
I hate women so much it's unreal

>>19113508
I don't think this is true, and really I think there's a lot of suffering that can be avoided. It's a man thing, we can't tell when we need to act which I'm sure a lot of the time is a good thing, but sometimes is not. I wrote it because I think if someone had told me I should get help I would have, and I think that would absolutely have been for the best

it would be very good if I could sleep soon

it would be very good if i had a twink to cuddle in bed tonight

>>19113694
I had a tomboy roommate who liked sleeping with me. She had hairy legs though and it's actually pretty annoying.

>>19113806
>girls

>>19113694
What do you count as a twink? Are you also a twink?

>>19113857
>What do you count as a twink?
Cute, slim, hairless guys under 25.
>Are you also a twink?
Yes.

getting lost on twitter again looking at all the 2000-10000 follower accounts acting like they're a "thing" to their audience of other 2000-10000 follower accounts acting like they're a "thing"

>@praxeologos
>Reference to some blogger's book. Deleuzian. Catholic Gramscian Bordegist. Some niche opinion about something esoteric to make me look "in the know."

>2hrs ago
>Just posted a new essay on the transnigger bio-ethics of memes on social media.
>0 retweets, 7 likes

>4hrs ago
>Blahblahblahblah pretending to be authoritative and upset about something other twitter fags virtually identical to me in every respect are doing.
>0 retweets, 4 likes

faggot you're 21 and a midwit, stop this

>>19113225
>If it's from dissatisfaction with your environment then you would do well to overcome those urges and channel it against that which made you have them to begin with.
it definitely comes from dissatisfaction with my environment, but the specific cause is unchangeable. idk if you've read TBK but the chapter 'rebellion' pretty much captures the source of my despair

I asked a girl to be my girlfriend last night and she said yes =)

you've been telling me you're a genius since you were seventeen and all this time I still don't know what you mean the weekend at the college didn't turn out how you planned the things you take for knowledge I can't understand

>>19114020
fucking epic. we're ALL going to make it.

I confessed to my mother and sister that university isn't going well, and they were supportive, but essentially the takeaway was that I'm fucked if I leave, and fucked if I stay, so no matter what things will be shitty and that's just how it is.

Why are there so many fags on this board

Look, we can be friends and I'll teach you everything you want to know.

It's been 15 years since I truly enjoyed anything. I try and I try but it just feels like my mind suffered some irreversible damage

>>19114224
Same man. For me it's 7 years.

I truly meant what I said.

>>19114141
>confessed
Why is that a confession? God I hate normal fags.
I was in the same situation. My dad rrally didnt want me dropping out but then coronachan smothered our airways with her massive tits. I took full advantage of this, "took a break" from college and started working a trade. Best decision i ever made

>>19114141
Worked a great job while in high school and dropped out of collage. My parents didn't even know the location of my high school let alone what I was studying in collage. You have it good. Don't be a fag

>>19114224
Listen to Drain Gang. I was the same but it changed my life.

I DESPISE the way I look.

>>19114346
Why?

>>19110694
Update: first night of trying this. Didn't work. I was conscious about it but it wasn't enough.

>>19111176
Doctor*

>>19111589
we live in a society

i didn't always hate my job but i do now

black culture is 100% the reason they underperform academically. you cant be a cool hip hop kid and be a future doctor or lawyer at the same time. they're opposites

>>19111573
i had that around the time the coof lockdowns first started. i would wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing so fast as if i were running a sprint. maybe u have so-called asymptotic covid. get a test maybe.

>>19114714
not only black culture but ghetto culture in general; the worst part is that, instead of trying to better themselves culturally, the blacks actually went and embraced it, and now they have an epidemic of fatherlessness, gang violence, drugs, basketball, and shitty music

>>19114729
even when the to try it ends up being some hotep bullshit that's just as dumb

alright boys its been fun
ill see you guys on the other side

>>19114714
>you cant be a cool hip hop kid and be a future doctor
what about Dr Dre

>>19114652
yeah okay with post graduate studies

>>19114714
Bad genetics really

>>19114790
What about Dr. Pepper?

>>19114346
That's rough man. I'm not too keen on how I look myself. Bad skin, cruddy jaw, giant forehead. Looking in the mirror sucks when you're not cute.

>>19114020
That's fantastic, man.
I hope you two have a lovely relationship.

>>19113826
>men for anything other than camaraderie and brotherhood

>>19114714
Cope darkie it’s mostly genetix

test

>>19106949
the two most powerful narratives in video games both came out within a year of each other and from the same country

>>19107074
>I actually know a gay guy and a black guy and they're SO nice :)!" that preceded trannies by 50+ years. But this was all just the incubation chamber for true trannyism.
holy kek brother
you must write a book

>>19109395
bro, you simply didn't know and so it was out of your control - there was nothing you could do
but now you're a little wiser and won't make that same mistake again
everybody has to learn somehow because that's part of the human experience and that experience might have nearly struck you down but you're still alive and you can still live for today

>>19106566
I haven't felt like a person since I was pre-pubescent.
Puberty ruined my life.
I never figured out how to play the new game that emerges during adolescence when all the rules suddenly change.
Never figured out how to actually make friends in middle and high school. I just withdrew from the world and got cystic acne that left me with a bunch of scars. University was just more of the same.
People terrify me. When I'm walking down the street, if someone is coming towards me the muscles in my torso tighten up like my body is getting ready to fight. My throat tightens up too which makes my voice crack when I have to change polite hellos with the other person as we pass one another.
All puberty did was saddle me with an insane libido.
For my ancestors who didn't grow up in the alienating suburbs I'm sure it was extremely adaptive that they would feel an overwhelming urge to fuck any woman who's not ugly, and feel terrible when they aren't having sex, but in my case it's just added unnecessary desire and pain to my life that I would be better off without. I don't need for my neural processes to be hijacked any time I catch sight of something vaguely feminine in my peripheries.
I would be very content with my life had I never developed sexually.
On an intellectual level, I don't even want sex and never have. Sexual desire has always felt foreign to me. I don't desire women socially. I don't feel a social lack in my life that only a woman could fill. What I feel is that these involuntary impulses seize hold and take possession of me. It's not something that I want to want; I hate being subject to sexual desire. It feels like possession. I hate that I have to exert all this mental effort on nofap. It's like a cruel joke that I've been laden with sexual desire and yet made unfit to ever gratify it.
And even if I could, I don't think I would truly want to. Oh sure, I would if I could, but I wouldn't recognize any value in it. 1.5 minutes of friction and then ejaculating into a little balloon? It's the weirdest, most arbitrary thing imaginable. It's a completely meaningless act. Unless you're having sex for reproduction, it's utterly pointless.
Yes, I know some people will cite all the "mental and physical health benefits" that it offers, but can't you see that once you remove reproduction from the equation, the association those supposed benefits have to the act is completely arbitrary? And doesn't it seem mildly dystopian to repurposed sex into a health supplement whose only function is to keep producer-consumer bugmen well regulated so that their productivity doesn't dip?
Sexual desire makes me feel like a caged animal. I absolutely hate it.

If I was given the choice between never feeling sexual desire again or having a girlfriend, I would choose the former.

>>19107074
>>19107083
bro rebellion is fake and bourgeois.....nothing will change.....dep

I tried to show my girlfriend a passage i liked and she said "I'm good" quite curtly. I feel embarrassed, what do?

>>19115023
wht do you mean

>>19115023
you should feel embarrassed for dating a woman who doesn't read

>>19115023
That sounds really rude.
I used to date a chick who would try to make dumb jokes whenever I would read her poetry. Relationship didn't last long.

>>19115023
Slap her and call her an uncultured swine

new thread
>>19115057
>>19115057
>>19115057
>>19115057

>>19115069
>>19115069
>>19115069

I made a tinder account, something I swore I’d never do. But I need pussy, it’s been too long, I’m losing my senses and I need to come inside of a woman. I admit I’m getting a bit lonely. I match with a cute girl resembling an foreign actress I fell in love with, particularly her honeyed skin and stubby upturned nose. I message her once, relaying to her this obscure similarity. To my surprise she was familiar and said she was deeply flattered. I followed up with some trite bullshit and a proposal to meet for drinks. Then nothing. It’s been a week now and I haven’t gotten a response. I flick through the other women, unimpressed - fat, whore, black, freak, pedestrian, fat, whore, tranny. I’m not depressed by this miserable display of flesh, this market of unfuckable sluts and damaged goods, I’m rather I’m bored with it. It’s not as exciting as I anticipated. I receive a couple more matches, but none arouse my interest like the petite tomboy with the exposed midriff and soft olive skin. She’s probably fucking some faggot art student, getting cummed in by a wealthy aspiring conceptual artist, he seems her type, not me. I’m an uneducated yokel, a brute. Handsome, but my profession shows in my sun stained face. She sensed in a couple messages I am unfit for her pussy, let alone her soul. I understand this. I have nothing to offer her, a sophisticated woman, an artist, I’m even somewhat intimidated by her. Regardless, to keep my ego intact, I ascertain she is simply busy. Working on her schoolwork, tests are coming up, projects are due, she has her priorities in line. I still have an inkling of hope she’ll get back to me, we meet for drinks, make out at the bar and fuck all night. This hallucinatory pipe-dream warms me at night in my loneliness, it will sustain me for now. For all I know she’s thinking the same thing about me, prevented by some innocent shyness, hesitation to pursue for fear of heartbreak. Doubtful.

>>19115034
She is kind of in a mess, doesn't have her life together yet, doesn't feel like reading
>>19115038
This is exactly what she does

>>19115144
Just dump her man. If she's being this rude when you try to share with her something you love, then she's just a selfish cunt.
As a test, the next time she asks for your indulgence, treat her the way she treats you and see how it goes. I guarantee she'll throw a fit when she doesn't get what she wants from you.

>>19114894
I feel the same way, MGS2 is the main game that contends with SH2 in terms of storytelling. MGS1 and 3 are fantastic too but not quite as novel as 2, they're great but the originality of 2 really puts it above them. I know people like to say Deus Ex is amazing too but that's mainly for the gameplay, the themes are great but the actual plot is pretty standard and it mostly just gets extra credit for the few bits of cool dialog like at the top of the statue of liberty.