/lit/ - Literature

previously: >>19078084

Sometimes I go through warosu and just search threads with keywords so I can filter through the day-to-day trash of this board ahead of time

Anyone know this feel

/adv/ reads like these threads but sometimes you get some real fucking highlights

Some woman was complaining about her husband wanting her to swallow and she said she didn't like the taste so someone responded with this gem

>You need to focus on the significance of it rather than the flavour. To make a rather extreme analogy, Catholics don't take holy communion because they like the taste of the wafers; it's because of what the wafers represent. It comes from the man you love; it's tangible symbol of the exquisite pleasure you've given him. It's something to celebrate.

>>19086988
i wonder if that anon has tasted cum before

>>19086988
Catholic analogy for swallowing cum. Yep, that could have come from /lit/

Suicidal thoughts always fly back boomeranglike.

>>19086967
I desperately want to breed a twink

>>19086988
lmao, he's onto something at least. I can't really use /adv/, it's like willingly engaging in a conversation with the 28 year old cashier at a Walgreens. They have nothing worth listening to and are probably very stupid, I'd just go away with a lower opinion of them. Beyond all that like most 4chan boards it is just full of coomers and half the threads are about how to fuck whores.

Today topic is: friendship. What is wrong and what is good about friendship?

Today is officially the first day of my school quarter but I don't have class until tomorrow. This next year of school is going to be a lot more difficult than my first, with more classes each quarter.

I'm disappointed we have to do online learning this quarter, since we were originally going to be going back to in-person lectures this quarter but
Learning through my computer at home is much harder for me than when I'm in an environment specifically meant for learning, though on the bright side I can use my strong desktop at home for the software in my program instead of relying on my slow shitty laptop.
>>19086967
>anime subtitle font in bottom half
nice touch

Bro, Voltaire is like Destiny and Rousseau is like Hasan. Has anyone else realised this?
please don't tell me to kms again, I'm serious.

>>19086967
im tired of my neighbors dog shitting in my dive but im in an unincorporated part of the county so there's nothing I can do.

>>19087038
>what is wrong
Rarer instances where a friend abuses the trust their friend puts in them, or otherwise tries to subvert or manipulate.
Also that friend groups can convince one to hold on to bad habits that they may be more likely to drop if they weren't around them.
>what is good
Everything else. True friendship is one of the more rewarding parts of existence.

>>19086967
Twinks.

>>19087038
I personally believe that there's nothing wrong with friendship.

>>19087060
Nicely said. Should friendship invoke hate?

>>19087038
why does nobody in america have friends

>>19087081
I'm not American. What did I tell you about over-thinking?

I should start kicking the shit out of some of you fags

>>19087086
You didn't tell me anything about over-thinking. The topic of the thread is friendship, wanted americanons' opinions.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-young-americans-are-lonely/

>>19087037
tfw I work as a cashier

>>19087088
now that you've threatened me all my actions that follow this statement are in self defense.

The majority of writers will never write anything that gets as much praise as Kris Get The Banana

Any of you guys ever try cold approaching a girl before?

>>19087094
I did.

>>19087081
I have acquaintances, people I like chatting with, hanging out with, etc. But I don’t have any “ride-or-die” friends. I don’t know why. My father tells me that’s the way things are and family is the only people who are ever “ride-or-die”, and I guess that’s true. But it would be nice to have a friend whose always got my back.

Why are you so shy?

>>19087075
>Should friendship invoke hate?
No, I don't think so. Maybe occasional annoyance, as any relationship with a person will produce at some point or another, but not blind hate.

>>19087081
I am thankful everyday that I still have the same group of friends since Elementary school

>>19087053
>please don't tell me to kms again, I'm serious.
I hope you mean that you are serious about killing yourself

>>19087053
>Destiny
>Hasan
Literally who

>>19087219
don't respond to that faggot, e-celebs are archons trying to eat your soul

>>19087189
>not blind hate
Why do I feel hate then? Perhaps the person I'm trying to friend doesn't want to be friends and I know that. But I don't want anything else. How would you solve this situation?

>>19086967
Baroque style is a kitsch, romanticism is infantile. God damn, le "dark ages" were so much better, divine and simple.

>>19087229
Hard to say without knowing specifics but I am just honest with my bros. Us being able to be frank and honest with each other is a big part of why we are such good friends. Talk to him/her, just use your fucking words autismo ismo

>>19086967
Jesus Christ i'm so motherfucking tired of her and her bullshit. I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING DONE WITH HER ALREADY

>>19087239
I did. But she doesn't seem to listen.

>>19087245
If you're a guy and she's a woman she doesn't want to fuck you so that's that.

>>19087244
Would you get mad if I say I somewhat enjoy somethings?

>>19087250
I have no problems with that.

I'm an atheist but I cringe everytime I see a militant one, they always go on and on about how evil god is because of some old testament passage or some similar dumb shit

>>19086967
I hate normalniggers with my whole soul

>>19087081
Cause most are kike-brained retards and it’s hard to find people who’ll like you for being a little different

Where can I get an affordable Creative Writing degree online, with a focus on poetry?

>>19087259
Almost based. Now all you need to do is accept Jesus into your heart, and you'll be based for real.

I've just graduated in anthropology with honors
I'm pretty happy with it. Now gotta look for a job even though I don't really feel like it.
But I'm pretty happy. 2 years ago when I was still cancer depressed I genuinely thought I'd never be happy again in my life.

Melancholy and a sort of pervasive sadness seems to just be a part of life though. I don't think I'll ever be rid of it. Perhaps that's okay.

Also tfw no gf

>>19087295
>anthropology
>look for a job
I'll have fries with that.

>>19087302
I'm not a mutt. It's pretty easy to find a job here with the degree

>>19087309
>I'm not a mutt
Yeah, neither am I.
Now clean it up, wagie

>>19087285
Why do you need a degree for that? Wouldn’t workshops (free or paid) be a better option?

Meh, I tried.

I wonder if I've became too superficial without realizing it. A girl I know has bluntly expressed interest in me a few times just this past week, to the extent that friends have even commented on it to me. If this goes anywhere she would be my first relationship ever. (Most) of her personality is pretty enjoyable, which is probably worth a whole lot, but I don't think I'm very physically attracted to her. I think I'll go ahead with this anyway just to try it out; it's not like I'm spoiled for choice after all, and maybe my feelings would change over time.

How do you tell the difference between simple preferences and unrealistic standards? Feels like very ambiguous territory. I don't even think this question is exclusive to romance either.

>>19087319
Because it seems like every critically acclaimed poet nowadays has academic credentials.
But it's so hard to find proper distance education for the arts and humanities. I've also considered classical studies, but there are no options outside of the Open """University""' degree mill.

>>19087330
>Anon Ruins His Life by Settling (2021, Colorized)

>>19087318
I've literally already had 4 well paying job offers, they just weren't in my interest.
cope.

>>19087330
Try it out, I'll say that of the 2 girls I've loved I did not find them particularly sexually attractive from the outset. Only when we became seriously involved did I find them physically attractive, I guess love does that to you.

>How do you tell the difference between simple preferences and unrealistic standards? Feels like very ambiguous territory. I don't even think this question is exclusive to romance either.
Depends on the specifics. But I'd say that if someone is willing to love you, you go with it and make your evaluation of her.

>>19087302
t. coping dropout

>>19086986
>today I give up 4channel.org
>spends the rest of the day on warosu
Such is the lot of Man upon this fallen world

>>19087347
>4 well paying job offers
Well yeah, we have a ~10€ minimum wage. Now get back into your cage wagie, those Amazon packages won't stack themselves.

>>19087259
I'm also an atheist but I am well read in theology and when I see militant atheists, I BTFO them by quoting apologets, using philosophical arguments and refuting what they're saying.

I'm an accountant and I saw excel spreadsheets in my dreams.

do women or men usually have the most power in a relationship?

>>19087365
lmao how hard can you cope
it's okay bro. A degree isn't for everyone.

>>19087371
Women and men hold powers in different spheres.

>>19087376
Still waiting on those fries, buddy.

I wrote some weekend-update style jokes, would anyone like to see?

>>19087410
drop 'em, king

>>19087421
5000 people were evacuated as the La Palma volcano eruptions continue with at least 20 homes being destroyed.
"Hey I know where a good place to put a house would be, right next to this ACTIVE VOLCANO".

The United States has started flying some of the more than 13,000 haitians that have gathered under a bridge at the US-Mexico border back to Haiti.
The bad news, they will have to go back to living in the third world hellscape known as Haiti, the good news, free peanuts.

Today, Canadians are voting for the country’s next parliament after a short campaign that saw Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberals in a neck-and-neck fight against the opposition Conservative Party.
In other important news, I gave my dog a new haircut.

>>19087442
Don't quit your day job. Or maybe do quit your day job, because I can guarantee that everyone there hates you.

>>19087442
>In other important news, I gave my dog a new haircut.
I genuinely smiled/chuckled at that one

>>19087449
>>19087461
Thanks for the feedback frens

Now I see. I have all the money I could wish for, but I have no more options. I can't pursue my goals. It's over. My shot at life and success is wasted.
I don't think I'll be here much longer.

I think about killing myself for two solid hours every day. How can I better spend this brain-time. I think that certain patterns or habits of thought can effectively become self-sustaining, and I'd rather not develop a habit of mentally walking up to my local park in the small hours of the morning and hanging myself from a tree.

>>19087506
>I don't think I'll be here much longer.
Oh, were it for you to decide.

>>19087530
But it is, anon. All I need are a few utensils and a bit of bravery, and I'll be out of here.

should I do STEM even if I hate it?

>>19087561
You shouldn't do STEM even if you love it.

>>19087561
You hate STEM? Why?

I'm not supposed to smoke weed tonight but I really want to smoke weed tonight. I don't know what to do.

>>19087569
I don't find it interesting. I don't know why.

>>19087579
be strong

>>19087579
Flip a coin.

>>19087584
ill try
>>19087586
but it would be a shame if the outcome was smoking weed

It's beyond me that some people are happy. It boggles the mind.

>>19087591
Just flip it, stop being a coward. In the end you will do what you want anyway, the coin is just a tool to make up your mind already. If you are bound to weak you will do it anyway, if the opposite, the coin can't tell you what to do.

>>19087037
This reply reveals a great degree of immaturity, ironically.

>>19087561
If you hate it, there's a good chance you won't succeed. Find something you don't hate. It doesn't have to be your 'passion', just something you don't hate.

>>19087561
I went this route. Not bad so far but I'm not done with uni yet so I'll let you know how it goes later on. Just remember "STEM" encompasses a massive swath of things. The biggest difference I guess is that the S in STEM usually doesn't pay a lot, and the M isn't much better off unless you do finance. I assume you are mostly thinking about the T and E. This kinda comes down to individual strengths, but I'd say the T is generally much easier than the E. Nothing in undergrad Comp Sci is all that hard, really, except for some of the math you will have to learn. Meanwhile engineers usually get pretty deep into physics and learn things like fluid dynamics and need a practical skillset involving multivariable calculus and integration and partial differential equations, stuff that takes real effort to process at first. Don't do Mech. Engineering or something like that unless you know you actually like it, because it's not easy.

So yeah, if you have no idea what to do, just do Comp Sci and lurk /g/ and /r/cscareerquestions to get an idea what's expected of you. Everyone is doing it nowadays so the advice is pretty clear cut and you could basically turn it into a step by step process at this point

>>19087579
throw it away where you can't find it.

>>19087062
<3
Always.

For the longest time I thought I needed a girl, but as I got one I realized that what Machiavelli said was true, there's no honey without bees. Thing is, I can't handle the bees in this case.

>>19087555
It is in the sense of being able to choose which cell down the corridor to rot in, maybe. You really think it would make you free? Things could get so, so much worse. "We have such sights to show you".
Changing your mind might be difficult, but. The "exit" you crave will come to you eventually, whether you will crave it at that point or not.
So why not treat the world like your personal entertainment channel for a while? You might even find something that will make the experience worth it.

>>19087599
Good point. It was tails(not smoking weed)
>>19087613
No because I like smoking weed and I want to smoke next weekend.

>>19086967
I want effort. I want heart rate variability. I dont want a student athlete effort. I want a huwhite man classic against all odds every damn day effort. I want to effort post. I want to see my effort fruit instead of my work break down. No matter what I do I must trust that I put in the work and that I am training effectively. Theres no tangible results for us these days. Only unseen progress bars programmed in the abstract. How I miss the chopping of wood and the settling of soil and the sweat of my brow dripping on my aching muscles. Now they ache as an afterthought after a "workout" of allotted effort. There is no grand pull. She used to be my grand pull. But now she has left me for my restlessness I am restless and without a conduit. Effort and rest are always at war with each other.

I am literally Raskolnikov, so where the fuck is my Razumikhin and Sonya?

The world is shot, why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?

>>19087915
in what way is it shot?

Got a job after months of unemployment.
Today was my first day.
I quit at the end of the work day.
I just wanna lay in bed until I die.

>>19086999
Bra with the trips

>>19087926
What was your job

]
2 + 2 is on my mind>>19087081

>>19087944
Home Remodeling

>>19087950
I hope you figure out a tolerable way to wage slave and then have a personal Renaissance

>>19087971
Thanks

>>19087973
might I suggest working with trains?

I daydream a lot and think of made up scenarios. My daydreams usually make me laugh out loud, meaning that whenever I'm out, just walking, I'll just strut around laughing like an idiot. I won't stop though.

I've had sex a few times now and have learnt to socialize with normies fairly successfully, yet my alienation is still beyond words, like I'll never be fully human.

Every day I habitually e-stalk an e-girl I e-dated a while ago. At first I did it out out of thirst and butthurt, but now I wouldn’t touch her with a 30 foot pole. I guess I’m addicted to watching her downward BPD spiral. I know I should stop, but lately I’ve been checking her shit every day.
I think I just need more pussy.

>>19088044
why do you feel alienated?

>>19087893
My name is actually Sonya. I am not a prostitute however.

>>19088048
Obsessed and coping

devil cymbals trill, trees alter and die,
Urns incite, rains hymn who’s holely sole gaits plains,
Dev-EL symbols thrill, three's altar and dye,
earns insight, reigns him whose holy soul gates planes.

>>19088219
Look at this faggot

>>19087925
Global warming

>>19088062
Because even if I can mask and seem somewhat confident on the surface I still feel like there's a fundamental divide between me and the normals. I already felt this way when I was just an autist socializing with randos online, but the feeling has heightened since I've gotten some normalfag acquaintances.

>>19088249
Truth is all normalfags also feel like that anon.

I can't stop getting crushes on discord girls
I've started only using 18+ servers because as soon as a woman posts something witty I get a heart throb
I don't have this problem with 3dpd. Why only now

>>19087219
>>19087228
They are the leading intellectuals of our time. Seriously, go check out their content, it's really good.

>>19088332
i fucked one discord girl. I can generalize and tell you that they are all broken and not worth your attention. That's why their on discord.

>>19087081
From a civil engineering perspective, our cities are not very walkable. It was much easier to make friends in college, even outside of classes. I'll the time we spend doing stuff like driving or commuting is a major waste.

>>19086967
I just want to say that /qa/ is, unequivocally, THE worst board on 4chan. Even if you hate /pol/, it's at least x10000 times more coherent than /qa/.

>>19088818
Haven't been there in a long time? What do they talk about anyway?

>>19086988
I had an exgf who'd take my shots in the back of her throat every time. She didn't do it at first but then realized that this way she didn't have to taste it.
Blowjobs would solve most of my problems desu.

囚

>>19087053
>that pic
kys

>>19085852
Yes, I am a neet

>>19088882
Wojaks, leebaiting, trannies, soijaks, soijaks, and more soijaks, cunny-posting. I wrote what I wrote because I saw what I think was drawn child porn. /qa/'s where people go to be retarded.

>>19087377
This is true

>>19088296
Not like me.

Literally not worth it to do anything but low level shitposting on this site
Literally any effort is wasted because no matter what you're doing, someone will inevitably say "nigger" or some other trigger word and everyone will chimp out instantly for the rest of the thread
people get into a thread and read the first post and the last post, chances that either is bait is 100% so the thread will be infinitely shit
if neither is bait nobody will reply and the thread dies
fuck this website, every day I wish I had the strength to go to reddit but I can't endure the nausea for more than 5 minutes
I'm so fucking tired of being here but there is not one alternative

>>19089277
Start a blog or something. This site is the equivalent of scratch paper: write what you want, but it's not where you put your effort.

>>19088818
>>19088882
/qa/ is fucking horrible, the entire catalog is soijaks and lolishit

>>19089281
>Start a blog or something.
I did for 3 years but nobody reads blogs anymore so you're just talking to yourself. I'd rather have a fun discussion with people with similar interests, I do plenty of monologuing in my private diary (desu).

My own thread seems to be a failure.

Hello, I need literature that will get my mindset ready for suicide, I already know about the void so please, no religion.

My life is worthless yet I'm unable to terminate it, I'm not yet ready.
What should I read? The current deadline would be some weeks after the release of the latest Matrix, a guilty pleasure.

>>19089426
no don't

>>19089426
they're making another fucking Matrix movie?
as far as suicide goes, all that keeps me alive is the idea that this world of crooks actively wants me dead because I am against its dishonesty and corruption
you're not being discarded because you're bad, since the world would gladly take all the venom and evil you could offer

>>19089436
Yes they are, I know it won't be good but I could be surprised, I still will watch it, I enjoy those movies a lot.

>>19089433
Yes, I have to.
My life is not the worst there is, far from it but if you knew the whole picture and treated it logically, it's the only option.
Besides, what's the difference? The void consumes all.

>>19086988
uhhh, based???

There's this one Chinese guy from online class who keeps saying "you know" every second while he talks and it drives me crazy for some reason

Just found out there's something more objective than even early Husserlian phenomenology.

Wearing moms g-strings. They're rather comfortable. Im sure theres something freudian about it.

>>19089598
Yeah, it's called going outside and having sex

>>19087330
please go buy a shirt that says "I choose a mediocre life but dont tell my gf that ok?"

>>19089277
but anon, this is reddit

>>19089277
Anon, it's time to get on terms with yourself. As the Stoics said, the only witness that matters to anything is yourself.

>>19087442
most of Norm's jokes aren't very good. they could only be delivered by him and be funny, because HE was funny. that's what's so special about him. strange how many people don't seem to get this.
so anyway, these would fit in just fine with his jokes. but they're not funny unless it's him doing the jokes.

I would be loyal to someone who gave me a sense of purpose. There were a couple of times I thought I had found someone like that, first in a friend that was like an older brother to me and then in an mentor I had. Both didn’t have an ounce of respect for me and didn’t give a fuck. This kind of rejection hurts.

>>19087993
isn't it funny to think this might be perceived as insanity by onlookers? perhaps as demon possession in older times.

>>19088219
nice rhyming

>>19088296
that's nonsense. maybe you're a normie and don't actually understand where anon is coming from

>>19089136
what kind of supplies can I get from this post

>>19089595
So many Chinese teachers in my schools who are very difficult to understand. My school was 99% white so I am not used to the accent.

>>19089296
Join a group of like minded people. Discord, Matrix, IRC, altchan circuit. I'm sure you can find something to suit your interests. There are many clubs out there

thinking about buying a guitar and a book on how to play and going into the woods with my van for a week to learn how to play and reflect on my gay life.

>>19089275
>>19089766
That's literally one of the fundamental parts of the human condition. So many plays written for normies have focused on just that feeling.

>>19086967
After thinking back to a fantasy book series I can't remember, I was really into unnescesarily convoluted magic systems, in this particular one it had to do with 'true names' of 'all things'.
>i know your true name, and because of that you ain't shit and must obey my commands
>i know the name of rocks and animals, they heed my command
>you wouldn't believe how many names that guy knows, he's a real master
So, I started thinking, what could possibly be the names of modern things? In the book the names would always correlate to something pure. A rock is a rock, iron is iron, etc.
I can't remember if there were any examples in the book, but I've been imagining stupid shit like 'semen tissue', and how some asshole in the book would command said tissues to jump into peoples mouths as he rummages the trash dump, calling out to more tissues to conquer the world..
I don't even know why I'm thinking about this.

>>19089759
>demonic possession
No....Angelic Inspiration. Hail to the muses

Forgot I had a linear algebra exam today. Haven't studied one bit and it's in 7 hours. Wish me luck

>>19089806
>Discord
zoomers, trannies and porn
I don't want to talk to 13 year olds
>>19089806
>Matrix
trannies, /g/ shit and porn, it's a shittier discord
>>19089806
>IRC
only /g/ shit on the active networks and warez/porn on any other network and dying at record pace
>>19089806
>altchan
The few I've been on were just a worse and less active version 4chan including "hey guys I just left 4chan I hate 4chan now it's not as good as it used to be I was on /pol/ the other day and they banned me things have really gone to shit" all image and text boards are fucking shit.

Forums are dead and have such a massive concentration of low functioning mentally ill autists they are completely unusable.
Outside of onion shit which I wouldn't be interested in, I've tried everything. The issue is not about the place but the mindset of people, vast majority of users everywhere are hyper-connected to the internet discourse, and ironically the deeper and more niche you go the more likely you are to find people who are obsessed with it. I would like the opposite, people who use the internet as a tool and nothing else to talk about shit they like, but it's become almost impossible, the internet has become about the internet itself. I can't believe that what used to be the normal mindset about going online in the 90s has now become impossible to find even within my own generation

>>19089806
>Discord
zoomers, trannies and porn
I don't want to talk to 13 year olds
>Matrix
trannies, /g/ shit and porn, it's a shittier discord
>IRC
only /g/ shit on the active networks and warez/porn on any other network and dying at record pace
>altchan
The few I've been on were just a worse and less active version 4chan including "hey guys I just left 4chan I hate 4chan now it's not as good as it used to be I was on /pol/ the other day and they banned me things have really gone to shit" all image and text boards are fucking shit.

Forums are dead and have such a massive concentration of low functioning mentally ill autists they are completely unusable.
Outside of onion shit which I wouldn't be interested in, I've tried everything. The issue is not about the place but the mindset of people, vast majority of users everywhere are hyper-connected to the internet discourse, and ironically the deeper and more niche you go the more likely you are to find people who are obsessed with it. I would like the opposite, people who use the internet as a tool and nothing else to talk about shit they like, but it's become almost impossible, the internet has become about the internet itself. I can't believe that what used to be the normal mindset about going online in the 90s has now become impossible to find even within my own generation

>>19086967
I was inspired by picrel to write this. This would be from the climax in a book/play where a grieving student is talking to a desert father monk from 150 AD. I've never really written anything before. Does this seem like a kino interaction?

>(student)"I read that it takes seven minutes for light from the sun to reach the earth. If the sun went out, we wouldn't know for seven minutes. People would be walking their dogs, cleaning dishes, or waiting for a train in complete ignorance of what was happening for seven minutes and then the light would finally go out and people would realize how sad and dark the world is.
>"It took 14 hours for news to reach me that my grandfather died. I was putting on my socks when his heart stopped beating, eating breakfast when the doctors declared him dead, and stuck in traffic when he was being wheeled to the hospital morgue. While he was being zipped up in a bag I was tearing my hair out over a calculus test, thinking it was the end of the world. My granddad was dead and I was freaking out over schoolwork! Then I went about the rest of my day like any other, no clue what was about to hit me. And, sure enough, while doing homework I got the phone call, that light finally went out, and I saw how dark, cold, and depressing the universe is."
>(monk)"But you forget that you are not separate from the universe. You are a part of it, no matter how small you think you are, or how great you think it is. When I went to the desert with my brothers there was no water for miles, weak soil around us, and few living creatures. We faced head on a dark, depressing, cold world, yet that world also consisted of us. We prayed, sang hymns, and set up a fire when our skin bore goosebumps. And with our light, the desert itself became brighter.
>"Tell me boy, was your grandfather a good man?"
>"I think so"
>"And was the universe brighter with him?"
>"Yes."
>"Well, as we persisted in the desert, and your grandfather persisted in the world, you must persist in the universe, because you are part of it."

>>19089872
khan academy should get you through it easy, assuming you understand the prerequisite fundamentals

>teachers face when they realize online content blows their shitty lessons out of the water
They cry about pay, and then provide a service that is topped by an Indian bloke and a laptop

>>19089595
He probably just picked it up from TV or movies or something. Seems like a thing valley girls say often, y'know?

>>19089796
there was a chinese teacher at my school who got bullied by the students so bad she quit in just a few months.

she was super nice and i always felt bad for her.

>>19089888
Yeah the work is honestly easy, this is someone who's already passed Multivariable Calculus and Differential Equations so it's not really threatening.

But really I'm just wondering how I got to a point where I almost don't study for exams at all and skip 90% of my classes. It's like the entire idea of graduating and entering the work force is a meme to me, and instead of working towards it as a goal I'm only doing the bare minimum to pass my courses. How do I expect to maintain a full-time job when getting off my ass to walk to a 50 minute class is too much? This is something I can't answer. Lately I've been considering hermetitude because I feel like this route in life has nothing more to offer me, and none of the consumer electronics I can buy with my 6 figure salary will make up for having to go to work each day.

That's just my thought. I have no clue how anyone becomes a hermit in the US though. It sounds really hard unless you own land

How do I get myself out of the /pol/ mindet, I agree with that general world view but some things I just don't believe in, I want to just live my life and stop caring about politics but I keep being a reactionary to things (rightfully so in some cases)

(I'm literally a faggot btw)

>>19090046
Stop going there for a few months and have a detox.
> but some things I just don't believe in
such as?

>>19090051
I don't even go to that board often, I only started visiting it again cos of the Canadian election, but I do follow some /pol/ people, mostly on telegram etc
> but some things I just don't believe in
well I don't want to be killed for being a homosexual (thats just one example)

Fifth university semester, given up on the idea of making friends here, the people are so incredibly fake and hollow it drains me just to sit and listen to their conversations. Middle class vermin, wish I had some rural friends. Just a waste of time socializing because on the off-chance that I'd find some tolerable individual it'd be too awkward to try to make it into a regular-acquaintance type of relation. Majority female class, the others being mainly weak males; very suffocating atmosphere, feel I need to watch my tongue constantly. Funny you can tell beforehand exactly which woman will bring the intersectional perspective to a discussion, they all have that cunty look about them. The professor is a weak balding male progressive liberal feminist type with an ugly brown Asian wife and ugly mutt child, he keeps apologizing that they only talk about males as he's going through the history of this field. Don't underestimate the role played by weak men in enabling all this progressive shit.
Added a girl from class I found cute (Facebook account I have mainly for the class Facebook group, profile not exactly good optics), messaged her a bit, then she asks what I studied previously, I reply, she in turn does not. Wasn't expecting anything from it but still annoys me how people act on social media with all the unfollowing ghosting blocking and what have you.

>>19090058
I hope you didn't choose liberal arts
>still annoys me how people act on social media with all the unfollowing ghosting blocking and what have you
Yeah it's pretty sad. Women are worse in this respect than guys but it's rare you will really connect with someone past the point where one of you might ghost the other or just generally do an about-face and see them as bad out of nowhere. The internet really added a new layer of distance in relationships I think, but it's also mostly reinforcing an issue that was already there.

>>19089885
Tries a bit too hard to ‘seem like a kino interaction’. I feel like this has been written by someone who is very young, most likely a teenager.
But more practice should help you anon.

We broke up and I feel like I'm facing the world alone, no matter how good my friends and family are to me. The dream of love sustained me

>>19086967
I think my thoughts matter and are of good quality, but are my insights all that insightful? Or am I just saying obvious bullshit while deluding myself into thinking I am an intellectual?

>>19087053
I fucking hate you, damn the society and the media environment that created you, and damn anyone who attempts to compare things as different as faggot bread tube streamers feeding the minds of thousands of gullible retard zoomers to faggot aristocrats writing treatises feeding the minds of the educated urban middle class in the 18th century.
>>19087062
why is this board so gay

>>19090056
would still like some help ah well

>>19086967

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

DO YO CHAIN HANG LOW DO IT WOBBLE TO THE FLOOR DO IT SHINE IN THE LIGHT IS IT PLATINUM GOLD

SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET

a girl saying 'you can cum in my pussy but only once you've cum in my heart'

I'm 22 and It just hit me how I've spent my entire life just coasting, pitying myself and being complacent with mediocrity and not taking risks
Fucking hurts but I guess the only way is forward

>>19087053
just fucking kill yourself

>>19087219
we know you know

>>19090186
You're a baby

The monumentality of my own art project absolutely horrifies me

>>19090186
You’re 22, if you have realised that you’re on the track. But it’s worthless to realise it if you don’t do something with it

>>19090213
The monumentality of my own thick cock absolutely horrifies me

If only I stopped caring what people think, about my social status and worrying about the passage of time, none of this would be of any significance and I would just sit and do this art project that to me is the most important thing in my life, and I would come to terms with just being an autist but I have to admit I am so scared for my future because if this doesn't work out in 3 years I'll still be a NEET / have this part-time minimum wage job at TWENTY SEVEN YEARS OLD living with my parents and my boyfriend will probably leave me because I'm good at sucking dick and I'm fun and crazy but all of this is still not enough to keep someone interested in me for this much time with nothing to show in return.

>>19090069
Nah I've been bouncing around various institutions studying humanities, don't have the discipline nor the interest for STEM. Everywhere is just insufferably liberal, I'd take a marxist professor any day over this.
Social media culture is a very middle class type of phenomenon I think, the fact that it has been so rapidly integrated into the system is very telling. You can't really get by without these technologies either, hardly any resistance as they go on digitalizing everything. All my classes resort to Facebook for chatting, the university uses Google services for IT stuff, smartphones are pretty much mandatory for quality of life, impossible to get by without a computer; either you conform or you are left behind. We exploit the third world so we can have these cheap electronics which would otherwise only be affordable by the rich, which is comforting in a way because it shows the untenability of this in the long run. The globalists can only play this game for so long until people see through it. It's just comical how shortsighted it is that we waste all these rare earth metals on throwaway gadgets

>>19090217
Pics?

>>19090226
>I stopped caring what people think, about my social status
then it would all be pointless

>>19086967
A truly strange phenomenon I've discovered, or well, just noticed, is how certain systems and ideologies, (Usually, but I don't know if exclusively non/anti-statist, anarchist, and the like) can only work on a ridiculously small scale, where they mainly survive because of utter insignificance or in a worldwide scale, which would be, impossible.
You can see this most clearly in anarchists, specifically, for this example, lefty anarchists, and by that, I mean all currents of that autism, whose conception of a large scale anarchist society necessarily requires Anarchism to have engulfed the whole world, because if not, the state, being a superior form of organization, would crush the anarchists, among other things.
The same case happens with anarcho-primitivists, even if they were to succeed in reducing a society back to the state of primitive hunter-gatherers. The rest of the world would probably simply crush them and bring them back to the fold. Hence their ideal necessitates a global, simultaneous, and unanymously succesful anarcho-primitivist return.
This is can also be identified in some branches of socialism/communism/whateverism where without worldwide revolution, the state apparatus can't dissolve into wholesome autism la la land
I don't have a conclusion or anything of the sort
It's just a thing I noticed

>>19090236
Man, I use a lot of comas.

>>19090236
>This is can also be identified in some branches of socialism/communism/whateverism where without worldwide revolution
well, duh.

>>19086967
We’re all gonna work until we die. The new drug isn’t porn, it’s not shrooms, it’s not twitter. No, the new drug is work. Bugmen call it The Grind. You work and work and work and work until you’ve fucking bowling ball bags under your eyes and a life full of connections that died on the vine. And we fucking glorify it! At least Japan has the decency to be at least a little embarrassed about their working conditions. But America? Lol nope! #sigmagrindset #riseandgrind
This is how they control us. Keep us too busy to think. The people on top, call them the 1%, call them the deep state, call them the jews. Call them what you like. We’re still their puppets. Dancing on the wire strings jacked into our brains through our ocular nerves. They work us to death and say it’s all for the future. A bright future where everything is just and fair and perfect in the exact way you want it to be. But they’ll never say what’ll make it so great because then people can’t project their own fantasies onto their words. That’s classic manipulation. The nazis did this, so we know it works.
Machines are supposed to be replacing jobs, so we don’t have to work, right? Well, that was a fucking lie. Bullshit jobs are on the rise. Where you get paid some arbitrary sum of money, with an arbitrary package of associated prestige; to do something completely. Fucking. Useless.
We’re all gonna be shoveling shit from Box A to Box B. And then from Box B to Box A. Rinse and repeat. All while our billionaire boss with his gene-perfected body and cyborg brain tells us it’s for the good of the economy.
And we’ll all plaster on our plastic professional smiles and say ‘Sir yes sir! I love being a bugman!’

>>19090236
Everything in the world is exactly the same

>>19090233
Interesting thought, actually made me feel better

I think I may be in the process of remembering that someone molested me when I was a very young child. I wrote here a couple of days ago saying that I thought I was about to remember something I did, or something someone did to me. I did remember something I did, and I've been processing that for a few days. But then now I was imagining telling my therapist about that, and somehow the story went on a sidepath where I was talking about a thing to do with my childhood, and then all of a sudden I couldn't finish the sentence and could barely hold back tears. When I started the sentence I didn't think it was very controversial but when I got to that point it all stopped. Now there's a ringing in my ears. When I was a child I used to sit under a table at home and pretend it was a train. There was a thinner central board and then two sides you could flap down, like elephant ears. They were flapped down and were the walls of the train, and I was looking out forward. I remember I imagined passing through a looney tunes-like desert. Then much later I had a period of severe mental illness, and in that illness I had a feeling of very strong guilt, and while I was sick I was trying to figure out what that guilt was about. And online- at the time I thought God spoke to me through the internet- I saw a pic of a kitten sitting under a table like that and it said "the hiding place". And I thought "maybe the reason I have all this guilt is because I killed a cat when I was a child, and I couldn't handle it". Well, I was imagining I was gonna tell my therapist about this and then it just stopped. Why was I hiding under a table.

>>19090217
Based

>>19090465
I used to listen a lot to a swedish song with these lyrics
"När du var liten
grät du hela tiden
och mamma sa 'det är värt att leva, det är värt att leva'
Se på din egen far
När alla hjältar är döda lever kungar kvar

När jag var liten
grät jag hela tiden
och pappa sa 'det är värt att leva, det är värt att leva'
Och han dog som en soldat ska
när alla hjältar är döda lever kungar kvar"

every time I got to this part I would cry, for years, no idea why. In english it goes

"When you were a child
you were always crying
and your mother told you 'living is worthwhile, living is worthwhile'
Look at your own father
When the heroes are all slain, the kings remain

When I was a child
I cried all the time
And father said 'living is worthwhile, living is worthwhile'
And he died a soldiers death
When the heroes are all slain, the kings remain"

I mentioned this song to my therapist and described the lyrics and I could.. I barely even finish telling her about it. I didn't break down crying but it took every effort. I'm crying now. These things things spin in my head "living is worthwhile", the switch to "When -I- was a child" and "look at your own father". Though to be fair, my father has done a lot of fucked up shit in my life, so I wouldn't accuse him based on only this. At a later time he almost killed me.

I am going to have to take the fagcine for work. What would Jünger do?

>>19090556
i took it but if they force me to get the booster i'm out. i got sick af for a day and then my balls ached for two weeks last time, NOT doing that again.

so why does a vaccine for a respiratory virus disrupt women's menstruation and cause pain in men's testicles? i took a bunch of other vaccines in my life, never once did it affect my nuts in any way.

>>19090574
I get the feeling the aim is to simply have electronic fagcine passport with many boosters combined with geotracking and "check in" as an all-in-one to see how much indignity we can take, very profitable information

>>19087568
What should I do instead?

/wwoym/... You guys are my moral support (although I hate all of you), unironically this thread is a little part of my life

>>19087100
I wouldn't take your opinion seriously if you offered it

>>19087053
you really should kys, I wish you didn't exist

>>19087330
Do you actually have any reason to want to spend your life with her? If not don't fucking bother, you're wasting your time and hers, and making both of you more jaded

>>19087561
Don't do anything you hate or you'll burn out and lose whatever amount of time and money you invested into it

Why is it I don't study? Even though I know it will help, it feels like a waste of time, so I don't do it.

>>19090640
kys advicefag

are radical ideas a sign of immaturity or is seeing radical ideas as a sign of immaturity a sign of conformity

Feel like I'm your cat, I'm your dog

Alright, I admit it. I feel conned for doing the university thing. It sucks. Imagine going into financial servitude just to have a chance at life. Hahaha, couldn't be me!

I'm spending an unhealthy amount of time daydreaming about my waifu

How do you even start a conversation or keep it going when you're an autist that doesn't know anything about anything? Do you just lose?

>>19086967
do I have worth? why isn't alcohol fun anymore? before, I'd feel better. now I just get anxiety when I drink. this is unfair. this is entirely unfair.

also I hate this fuckin' captcha

>>19087053
mods ban this child

>>19090949
You just started a conversation, hello there

>>19090758
Post your waifu

Fuck work. I have no information to work off of, and I'm killing my time by using the bathroom and browsing my phone for presents I want to buy for my friends.

Daydreaming about sleeping with my ex again. What if I met up with her and we got drunk just what if.

>try writing an article for myself about something random
>suddenly feel a sense of inadequacy, insecurity and incompetence
I feel like a joke. And what makes this more amusing is the fact that I got a masters in English.

>dream I had that ends with me killing myself literally coming true today
Should I just do it?

>>19087285
>>19087338
I mean you sorta have to go to a real 4-year school, the networking alone is a major part of the experience. (I'd almost say you have to go to a top-tier school, but that's not really necessary if you can be initiative in your own ways.)

If that path isn't for you, workshops seem like a great choice to meet with like-minded people.

>>19086967
My mums been away for the past week and a half and I've been having to look after the house and cook for myself and my brother and sister every day. Just came home from work and I'm fuckin shattered so I finally caved in and order Chinese.

I think I'm gonna kill myself before I turn 22. Life isn't worth it anymore.

Existentialistanon, did you get your muslim waifu to do haram things with you yet?

>I will not fail for bait, I will not fault to bait
*Sees bait post*
>Replies
How do I stop

>>19091289
Man, that's so young when you read it in text. But I understand exactly. I was the same way. Hell I'm 23 and still am.

>>19087219
Destiny made it to GM in SC2 spamming only Queens and then failed to win a single professional match in multiple MLG tournaments before switching to LoL, failing that, and becoming an internet debater.
idk the other guy but he seems like a giga champagne socialist

>>19087053
K Y S
Y
S

>>19091049
nice try you pervert, I won't let you lewd her

>>19091422
Based waifu protector anon.

>>19091317
So are you gonna do it sometime soon?

>>19091115
Seems pretty normal and well adjusted, just use that as a motivation to try harder at what you do and really learn about the subject of your article.

There are already plenty of articles written by shortsighted arrogant blowhards in the world. If you keep that mindset at least you're unlikely to become one of them.

>>19086967
Everything in my life is honestly pretty good except my crippling addiction to sissy porn.

Interesting feels.

>>19091478
Soon? Nah. Rather than suicide I decided I'll become a hermit and live in the woods first, if that doesn't work out then I rope.
To do this I have to finish 2 more years of university because if I drop out, my family will be devastated. But getting the degree then going with my plan is a good compromise and it means I'm not doomed if I change my mind.

You should consider something like this perhaps.

I legitimately think memes are like the new hieroglyphs

>Covid pass gets announced in my country
>No more going to public places without showing proof of vaccination or negative test on your cell phone
>Zero effort to invest in public healthcare by government and expand capacity, so slim chance it will ever go away
>EU plans to link the pass to your bankacount and monitor your spending are already there
I'm starting to believe in the great reset meme guys. How do I cope with my country becoming more totalitarian by the minute? The direction it's headed honestly keeps me up at night

>>19091657
>>EU plans to link the pass to your bankacount and monitor your spending are already there
fucking disgusting for unsurprising

>>19091512
>my crippling addiction to sissy porn.
Lol
Just watch a different genre for a while, your brain will adjust

>>19091657
>EU
You made your bed Euros, now lie in it. Say what you will about the Brits but they got out and it was a wise decision.

>>19091422
No I promise I won't. I'm just curious. This isn't the cuck thread on /trash/, anon.

>>19091710
>Just watch a different genre for a while, your brain will adjust

too far gone to simply "watch something else"

>>19091755
If you can acknowledge the urge you can fight it my man. After the first few days it becomes easier and easier.

>>19091710
Leaving the EU was a good call I agree. But I still wouldn't get too comfortable if I were you. Canada, Australia and New-Zealand are cucked even harder by the government than us and chances are it'll happen to Britain too

>>19091755
just fap to futa on futa, then, futa on female and slowly wean yourself back to reality

I just realized I look like a zoomer version of Descartes and now I hate myself.

Most people I meet seem so underrealized, so unaware of themselves. Maybe it will change as I get older but it's turning me into something of a hermit. Nearly all my free time consists of is reading, thinking and reflecting. I feel almost suffocated by what's inside me, I feel so large, I feel so deeply but everyone around me seems so small. Their feelings so small, so shallow, so little thought behind them. I don't know where or how to meet people to talk to about things, even when I effort-post on here the threads just die or I get one or two posters that have some idea of what they're talking about.

Having fun is all well and good but I want something more substantial and I'm not getting it. Maybe when I go to a nicer school for my post-grad it'll get better.

>>19090949
I aspire to be like a character in a Rohmer movie or like Leaud's character in The Mother and The Whore. I have endless observations, from my own and picked up from literature. I can be so honest about how I feel, just always add a little bit of irony so I don't come off as if I take myself too seriously. I shamelessly talk about books and movies because it's what I know. Shamelessly drop big dramatical concepts: existence, being, society, substance, etc, etc.

>>19091921
Picrel? Descartes looks cool.

>>19091965
I felt like you before, and now the feeling has totally inverted. I feel so insignificant, my life is nothing, I isolated myself pondering the big dramatical ideas, and after some time I had to comeback to the real world, and in retrospective it was all just a waste of time.

>>19092041
I don't think I am "pondering the big dramatical ideas" as much as I am attempting to cultivate an understanding of myself(and by extension other people). Doing so through meditation, introspection and reading and understanding(or at least trying to) the thoughts of those larger than myself then incorporating that understanding into my own evaluation of myself.

I started playing WoW Classic as a cope during covid, but I'm still playing. I will probably continue playing until covid is over, so hopefully April of next year if the vaccines don't create more variants by then. It's crazy that people still think you should make a vaccine during a pandemic and not afterwards. It's like they learned nothing from history.

I think the thing with hell is that the fire is love. Why is it love? Because the fire is you realizing that you hurt people, and you wishing you hadn't. You hurt because, ultimately, it turns out you cared.

>>19092167
You're addicted. You must stop at once. That video game will kill you, my son.

4chan has made me a more bitter person.

>>19088340
This. Destiny is smarter than Hasan but both give good expositions on political theory that's accessible even to the masses. They cover happenings and discuss moral philosophy. Really cool.

I'm pathetic, a failure, I'm giving up on being a creative, I wasn't born for it.
Thinking again about joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever, I don't know.

>>19092167
What makes you think that the vaccine is making variants when new variants were already happening before the vaccine was made?
>It's crazy that people still think you should make a vaccine during a pandemic and not afterwards. It's like they learned nothing from history.
Why would they make a vaccine after most people have already gained immunity to it? What historical precedent are you talking about?

>>19089865
Earthsea! butterfag would approve

As soon as this Tinder chick finds out I'm a NEET, it's over.

>>19086967
I'm more interested in the idea of being a reader then I am actually reading.

I'm not sure how to solve this, considering I buy books frequently but never read them. I'm not even sure I want to read them.

>>19092772
the solution is simple: start reading

>>19089132
Thats a turn off. I want her to savor the cum

>>19092772
everyone goes through that larp phase in the beginning. Just condition yourself into being comfortable with reading and you'll get over it.

The last time I truly felt "normal" was when I was a little kid. I started to recluse towards the end of elementary school, and the trend continued 'til I had 0 friends from middle school through most of high school. It started with this childish idea that I wouldn't fit in with anyone else, since I got into pc gaming at a really young age and I didn't think anyone else at my school would be into it, and that blossomed into me keeping my interests locked up altogether throughout adolescence.
Fortunately, I've learned how to socialize and make friends since then, and at 21 y/o I feel like I'm not far from being considered normal by other people, but inside I still viciously judge everyone around me, and I have a hard time looking at my friends as anything more than people. Even my girlfriend, who I met online recently (yeah, I know) and who I've talked to way more than anyone else; even with her, I feel like there's some unbridgeable gap between us that she doesn't even notice, and that once we finally meet up in a few months she'll fall right into it.

I did start phasing out 4chan earlier this year in hopes of dispelling this mindset, and as of now I'm down to just this board and /a/, but after nearly a decade of relying on this site as the sole place for me to express my genuine thoughts, I fear that it's permanently impacted my capacity for serious interpersonal relationships. And it's tough to see a future for myself when I can't imagine anyone else being in it.

>>19092772
same

I have failed myself. Everything I've dreamed of doing when I was a dumb 17 year old is out of my reach. I'm stuck watching my peers who had long since surpassed me, live the idyllic life I've always wanted. I squandered so many opportunities. Failure is literally a daily occurrence to me. I'm lowlier than a maggot at this point.

>>19086967
Flies seen in my apartment in the past month
>8

Flies seen in my apartment within the past 2 hours
>8

What is the meaning of this

>>19092919
How old are you? The first thing you should fix is your self-esteem.

>>19092615
It hasn't made me a bitter person but it has given me an unbelievably thick skin. For that I will forever be grateful.

>>19092919
Same here anon, sometimes I feel like I was cursed with suck. It's like everything I do fails while other people succeed effortlessly while making half-assed attempts. I've gone years thinking I lacked self-awareness on how much I actually sucked, but the truth is just that I'm some kind of ghost. What I do and who I am just doesn't work for abstract reasons.

>>19092915
I am in mostly the same situation as you minus the "learning to socialize and make friends" thing, but it's because mental illness set in for me as a teenager and I still haven't escaped it. I can confirm the gap you mention exists and it's everywhere, but there was one occasion earlier this year where I felt as if I bridged it for a while. I met a girl from 2ch and we talked for several months, it was more or less an online relationship. She came to know most of my idiosyncrasies and accepted them, and it was really nice. Sadly though she also had a screw loose and broke it off with me for a nonsense reason. It is nice to be accepted as you are, so it feels like that gap you mentioned is gone, but in the end you're still not understood for what you're really feeling or saying you feel. Human relationships are just tricky like that. There is a reason divorce is taboo in traditional marriages—If we base our relationship on the importance that we feel it has from moment to moment rather than as a lasting bond, it's prone to shatter at any tune.

Reading about the Battle of Manila is depressing. I have never seen so much cope in my life.

>>19086967
I'm drunk and I wanna help people
anybody got any problems? anybody need advice?

>>19092959
23. My self-esteem is closely tied to academic achievement. So long as I'm underachieving, I don't think I'll be able to think very highly of myself.

>>19092988
I've reached the conclusion that success is a result of many favorable circumstances. Luck is both a precursor and a component. However, I've been noticing a decline in my assessment of my own shortcomings. I used to blame myself for everything. Recently, I've started feeling resentful of those who had it "easy". I know it's unreasonable. No one has it easy. Maybe this deflection of blame is just a means to cope with unmet expectations.

>>19086967
Muslims are niggers, no white person is a Muslim.

>>19093038
Understandable. I'm 22 I'm pretty sure my own currently high self-esteem largely comes from having graduated Cambridge with a first.
Why are you underachieving? Are you still studying? What have you tried?

>>19092648
>What makes you think that the vaccine is making variants when new variants were already happening before the vaccine was made?
The concern is that the vaccinated will produce more deadly variants, because the vaccines are basically designed for the original virus + alpha/beta variants. While the less severe variants will remain dominant in the body of someone who is unvaxxed. Meanwhile, because the vaccine only prevents coronaviruses from surviving in your lungs, we're all equally as contagious because it has no affect on the amount of viral load present in your nostrils. So vaxxed or not you're equally contagious.

t. My dad, who works in the medical field (and is vaccinated, but doesn't think I should)

>what historical precedent are you talking about?
The Spanish Flu. There was a vaccine released 1 year into the pandemic and it was deemed ineffective.

>>19093046
I'm white and a muslim. muslims are principled, civilized and mild mannered. just visit any mosque on a friday and you'll see. there are some real big questions as to how muslims are supposed to live in europe. I imagine the liberty in the US make it easier to live according to sharia. There is a real tention in Europe. I do not know how this will be resolved and I am not sure at all that I will be willing to go along with whatever way forward the muslims of my country may find. It is an almost absurd time in islamic history. But God is one, and Muhammad (saws) was His prophet. These things are and will remain true.

>>19091965
Everyone is thoughtless and carefree until their life goes to shit. You can feel envy for those guys if you want, but sooner or later it will hit them just like it hit you.

>>19093037
I'm constantly bored and dont know what to do

It’s strange how I get red, blonde, and borderline white hairs in my beard.

>>19093104
Are you a convert? If so what led you there?

>>19093154
what have you tried to alleviate your boredom?

>>19093192
I read, watch movies, take walks. Those dont work. When i'm especially desperate i'll try to place myself around people by going to the park or to the store, but no chance meeting ever occurs. I dont try to contact friends anymore. they're always busy.
I usually end up drinking and masturbating and then browsing here for hours, just waiting for the day to end.
Only times i feel good are the weekends. i'll meet a church group Saturday and then play a sport at the park with people sunday. But the schedule feels rigorous. I want more spontaneity. I just dont know where to go or how to initiate it

>>19093166
My facial hair(really doesn't qualify as a beard, it's just sad) is full on red/Auburn even though my hair is brown/blond.

>>19093104
Muslims are going to conquer Europe, you will be fine. Look at the immigration data and demographics. Add in climate refugees and the Islamification of Europe is inevitable.

>>19093104
>God is one, and Muhammad (saws) was His prophet. These things are and will remain true.
Prove it

>>19093247
>Add in climate refugees

Personally I can't wait for the African crusaders to "rechristen" islamized europe.

>>19093166
Same, where are you from? I'm from southern Iran

I realized that I relapse into vices (drinking, etc.) when I feel disappointed or dissatisfied. But sadly I am hyper specific on the things that give me validation or satisfaction. It's retarded. I have had golden opportunities with career prospects in front of me and I've let them go because everything but what I like doing makes me deeply unhappy. I'm so hilariously stuck, be unhappy doing things that work or be unhappy doing things that don't work.

>>19093104
what sect/madhab/school?

>>19093104
>But God is one, and Muhammad (saws) was His prophet. These things are and will remain true.

Incorrect, because Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Messiah who raised from the dead, and Muhammad denies these crucial facts.

>>19093211
Hm. I don't know you, but I think I recognize the behavior- are you maybe uncomfortable being by yourself? Are you trying to find other people to be around, so you don't have to be alone with yourself? That's something that might be hard, but you have to work on, because it's a feeling that's not going to go away by itself.

I'm not sure it's entirely boredom that's your problem, but as is, what I suggest is that you DO write your friends, and see if they'll meet you, and regardless of their answer, go out some place like a park, and just chill there. Find a really nice spot, crack open a beer, and maybe get a sketch-pad and draw whatever catches your eye. Doesn't matter if you're good at drawing or not. Just breathe deep, drink a beer and focus on the world around you. Don't expect too much, and don't try to get anything out of it, don't think too hard. Just breathe.

I don't feel particularly sad but I want to go to the titty bar and fuck a hooker. It's still too early and the hot ones won't arrive until later and I know if I head home I won't even consider going out again.

>>19093065
>Cambridge with a first.
God, I envy you.
>Why are you underachieving? Are you still studying? What have you tried?
Underachieving relative to how I started. Top of my class in the best college in my shithole. I got depressed. Missed the chance to get into a world renowned Uni. I'm an Engineering Student.
I genuinely used to love studying. I loved Maths, no matter how abstract it got. It gave me a sense of achievement to solve problems. Then, one day I stopped understanding. I had trouble concentrating and staying still. I started hating even the thought of sitting at a table and scribbling away. I started missing assignments and deadlines. Skipped class. Procrastinated. Then before I knew it, I was at a middling Engineering school in my country still, whilst the people that I had bested in the past, were gone to top tier colleges in France, Germany, the UK.

>>19093314
I enjoy my company anand prefer spending most of my time alone. But when lonlieness and boredom do creep in I have no recourse. I think thats what bothers me the most. I often feel like i'm in captivity. I feel that i'm trapped and controlled. I guess I think that if I had a friend I could go do something with at any moment I would feel free. But maybe i'm wrong

I want to fall in love. With a real, tangible human being and not the caricatures I paint in my head. I just want someone to care about me. Someone dependable. But at the same time, I'm scared of even associating with the opposite gender.

>>19093489
Hm. I think I know what you mean. Humans are pack animals, after all. Even if we consider ourselves loners, only a small percentage of us actually are satisfied with that. Most everyone, I think, wants at least one friend at their elbow. It's a difficult feeling, because nowadays it's not something that is satisfied by the occasional meet-up. Loneliness, right? It can creep up on you, even if you just said good-bye to your friend. In that case, I don't know if it's boredom.

I mean, right now, I'm just getting zooted on fruit schnapps, and I feel so desperately lonely, I'm refreshing /lit/ on loop, even though I just talked to my brother for 3 hours, and spent the night at a friend's only two days ago. It's a feeling that creeps up on you.

I can only offer the same advice that I give myself: distract yourself. Read, do crafts, try to cook a full course meal, idk. We live in a world where sometimes we just have to wing it.

>>19093038
>23
you're still just a babe

>>19093037
how do i slow down my drinking?

>>19093551
how much do you drink, and how well can you control it?

>>19093551
make every other drink water

>>19093480
>Top of my class in the best college in my shithole
That means you have the potential to be top of your class again.
>Then, one day I stopped understanding.
Everyone encounters hard topics. Some topics just need time to sit in your head for a while to understand them.
It's hard to give advice that's not generic because you haven't provided too many specifics but it sounds to me like you would greatly benefit by identifying the exact place in the material where you stopped understanding, revisiting it and studying it until you understand it. It may break the negative feedback loop. This happens to me when I read math books. At some point the ideas just stop making sense and I lose all motivation to read further. But if I force myself to revisit previous chapters while swallowing my pride, I inevitably end up understanding much more and again gain motivation to study further. Basically I think you need to have the feeling that you're progressing, and when you've skipped some fundamentals in a hard subject you feel perpetual confusion in higher topics and that feeling is very hard to achieve.
Do you have an option to retake the year? If you're extremely successful you might be able to catch up without doing that but I think it would be very hard, depending on how long ago you stopped understanding.

>>19093553
about a 12 pack a day. i have family in town which is making me turn to liqur again, but once theyre gone i can just go back to beer and ween off.

>>19093544
It is funny how even immediately after socializing the loneliess comes back full swing. I wonder why that is.
I guess your answer is the standard answer, and probably the only answer. We just have to cope. Cope cope cope.

Anyone else like masturbating but not in a sexual sense? Just touching and playing with your penis without getting aroused. I have no problems getting aroused when I want to but I just like having my hand in my pants on my penis, putting my fingers behind my foreskin etc.

Philosophy is the opposite of intelligence, which is to say that the concept of intelligence is newer to human development and less understood. Most philosophers would not be capable of their logical arrays if they suffered from intelligence - they would have bounded past them. It is only through their own mundane, lesser minds are they capable of creating the constructs through which philosophy acts and thinks to understand the world around. Intelligence suggests a truth that supersedes philosophy, just as silence suggests that all language is entropic.

>>19093551
Just say no

>>19093605
This also speaks to why the Rus Pagans would sacrifice the most intelligent members of their tribe to the gods, according to Ibn Fadlan and the Land of Darkness - philosophers sacrifice their own intelligence to maintain their system - thinking beyond the system damages the system.

>>19093154
try finding a drug that you like and get addicted to it.

>>19093597
My dude, that sounds like a problem. I'm gonna be straight with you; this is a little hard, because I'm what you'd call "the opposite of an addictive personality" so it's maybe easier for me than maybe most people to stop, so I don't want to down-play how hard it might be for you to stop. Personally, I'd hit a road-bump and just stop cold turkey- but I recognize that's not feasible for everyone. You said you want to ween yourself off, and that's the best I can offer- but if you're going to do that, you have to really stick to your plan. You cannot go, "eh, I'm only supposed to drink 1 beer today, but maybe just a little bit more...". If you can't control yourself on your own, you will need outside help. You need to be honest with yourself.

>>19093154
You're not bored you're agitated. Try being alone with your thoughts for a while.

>>19093602
I have no idea; I can only guess. It sucks extra hard because I am 99% sure that I'd fucking lose it if I had to live with someone else, but I suppose we were designed to live in small family groups. Maybe it's just because of capitalism? HA HA! It's always capitalism. Then again, maybe you and me are just damaged goods. I know I have a lot of trauma from my childhood that makes me completely neurotic as far as interpersonal relationships go. Sometimes I need constant validation that my friends and family don't hate my guts, and obviously that's just unreasonable, so I have to cope.

>>19093572
>Do you have an option to retake the year? If you're extremely successful you might be able to catch up without doing that but I think it would be very hard, depending on how long ago you stopped understanding.
I'm 4 months and one research internship away from graduating. Here's hoping for a better track record at a master's.

>>19093702
Fair take. My thoughts often turn bitter.
>>19093704
I know how you feel. I have really repress my needy tendencies. I'm always looking into peoples statements and body language trying to find their hidden resentment for me. I force myself to ignore the thoughts and anxieties and deny all behaviour that would be needy or clingy. I actually tend to self isolate or come off as callous for it. Better than appearing soft.

>>19093667
>>19093612
i can doo it myself. its just the triggers. ill take the say no advice and apply it to spending anotherday with family. i was so relived last night when i thought he was leaving and didnt drink as much but now the flight got rescheduled. ill just blow them off. ive done it before.

>>19093725
>I'm always looking into peoples statements and body language trying to find their hidden resentment for me.
did you have a parent that behaved erratically? Maybe was emotionally volatile? My father was like that, and that I didn't have friends when I was younger only compounded on that. If that's the case, we're pretty much fucked. I've mitigated the effects by using mantras, but they only help sometimes. Most other times, I'm just fucked.

Only thing that helps is sending stupid meme pics to my brother and more unhealthy behaviors.

>>19093759
if you know what the triggers are, you can plan around them. It's a good thing that you know them- that's more than most people have. It probably isn't very professional, but I'd suggest you wait until your family is gone again, if it's going to happen soon. There's no point in making it harder than it needs to be.

>>19093762
My childhood was a circus. I couldnt even begin to analyze the entirety of it. I can put very simply that my older brothers used to viciously bully me and my parents were largely uninvolved. My mom was a deadbeat who left when I was young and my dad was always stressed from work. He would leave at 5am and come back at 9pm just to scream and be borderline physically abusive. I used to hide when I saw his car pull in and I would always try to be asleep before he showed up.
School was shit too. It was a private catholic school and I was wholesale rejected for not being catholic. I used to leave for school, relieved to be away from home. Then I would get to school only to wish I was home again be away from school. All throughout elementary school I would fantasize about hitting my head really hard so that I would go into a coma for a few months so I could avoid everythig.
My dad got a new job around when Iwas in fifth grade and my brothers started leaving me alone. The next few years were actuallyvery good years until my mom came back into my life. She and brothers decided to all get addicted to meth when I was about 13. we fled our idyllic town and started again in an ethnic neighbor in and urban area. I've been mostly isolated ever since

>>19093776
are you a professional?

>>19093803
Shit man, I'm sorry. That'll explain it, though.

>>19093819
No