/lit/ - Literature

>>18914912
"Cringe," said the Grasshopper. "Cope," he added. "Seeth. Dilate."
ftfy

A turtle challenged a rabbit to a race. The rabbit accepted. 3,2,1. The rabbit blasted off the starting line and within seconds passed the finish line within seconds. The turtle barely moved. The rabbit asked the turtle why he challenged him to a race. The turtle was confused, his brain just as slow as his body. The rabbit tried to wait patiently for an answer from the turtle, but decided to fuck off and went to go bang some bunny pussy.

>>18914918
Thank you Anon

>>18914923
basde

>>18914923
>The rabbit blasted off the starting line and within seconds passed the finish line within seconds

I tried in a manuscript once, a nested story in a story where a father told his daughter about the scorpion and frog and how they just went about their day

The daughter told the dad that sounded unrealistic.

Hungry as fuck, a fox tried to open a fridge but was not strong enough. He pulled and pulled but the thing just wouldn't open. Exhausted from his efforts, he thought to himself 'Ahh fuck it! There's probably garbage in there anyways' and walked away to go home and hatefuck his fox gf.

>>18914912
One fine day two Crabs came out from their home to take a stroll on the sand.
"Child," said the mother, "you are walking very ungracefully. You should accustom yourself, to walking straight forward without twisting from side to side."
"fuck you nigger whore" said the young one, and he strolled gently towards the sea

>>18914912
A man once wrote a manuscript of his own, with which he hoped to gain some recognition and profit as an aspiring writer. Upon submitting his manuscript to various publishing houses however, he received an endless flood of complaints.

"Why aren't there LGBTQIA+ BIPOC in this?" asked one editor. "I don't get it, it needs an underlying criticism of capitalism", cried another.
Panicking, the man quickly rewrote the manuscript, making revision after revision until at long last, it was to the satisfaction of the editors, who finally agreed to publish it.
It immediately flopped on the market as the public boycotted and refused to support woke shit, and thus the man, who had invested considerably in it's publishing, was ruined. When you try to please everybody, you end up pleasing nobody.

>>18914996
Redpilled

A shepherd boy falsely proclaims that a wolf has come to ravage his stock of sheep. Concerned, the townsfolk rush to his aid, only to discover they'd been rused. The townsfolk become infuriated with the shepherd boy, shouting and screaming with much vitriol, to the shepherd boy's amusement. The shepherd boy quickly realizes how easy it is to enrage the townsfolk and get a quick laugh.
The shepherd boy dedicates the bulk of his time provoking the townsfolk with fraudulent claims of wolf sightings. All the boy's sheep died due to negligence and the boy went on to found 4channel dot net.