/lit/ - Literature

>>18865082
The epic work of Waldun is slowly being pirated by an autistic anon kek

>>18865082
>Everything else was gray: his shirt, his bedsheets, his nightstand.
No wonder pseuds love him, he writes the same way they do.

first paragraph is terrible

i thought he had an editor? lmfao at least i didn't notice and ESLisms

feel free to torture yourselves, but I'm not actually going to waste my time

>>18865329
It's more so reading what one whose bussy you want to destroy has written than giving an actual shit about a terrible YA dystopian knockoff.

>>18865082
Is the scanning finished or is there more?

>>18865329
post it

WALDUN WILL SELL 0 COPIES OF HIS GAY LITTLE BOOK
FACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>18865082
i kind of feel sorry for him, he's writing is terrible but he is too much of an autist to notice, here's hoping he doesn't an hero from all the shit he's getting

>>18865515

>>18865539
fukken hell

>>18865539
eddington crossed the road BECAUSE he got a green light. that's how lights work. also, is the straight line a line up or are they all just walking in straight lines?
fucking ESLs... also, the second sentence has two disparate clauses. and later he mixes tenses...I would have rewritten it like so (changing as little as possible):

>A gentle wind blew through The Regime, whirling rubbish along the ground. There weren't many people out, but someone would pick it up eventually. Eddington crossed the road as the indicator turned green. He walked in a perfectly straight line with a blank expression on his face. Pausing for a moment, Eddington felt for his earpieces. They were still in place, but not working as well as they used to. Others walked past him in the same straight lines, with the same blank expressions, and they all had the same earpieces.

you could change a lot more but then you're doing a complete rewrite.

>>18865673
...waldunchads? what the FUCK

>>18865329
>>18865476
>>18865529
>>18865529
>>18865539
>>18865673
I feel like you guys are being overly critical possibly either because you are jealous of the attention Waldun is getting or because you feel good when you make fun of other people, and I think that’s completely normal. I mean, that first chapter was pretty solid writing. It isn’t A Tale of Two Cities or anything but it’s pretty good writing for someone as young as him.

>>18865696
It is true. I lash out against Waldun because of my repressed homosexuality

>>18865696
It's objectively bad writing. It's a step up from his old stuff but it's still awful.

>>18865708
>objectively
No such thing, MauLer.

>>18865673
wow, this is much better.
t. ESL

>>18865673
Stunning how he mangles simple sentences and can't structure clauses. It's an easy fix too, just fucking proofread. Then maybe he can address the absolute vapidity of his writing

>>18865696
>good writing for someone as young as him
What does that matter? If this drivel is his best work, and he's an adult, he's never going to produce anything good no matter how young or old he is.

>>18865696
>it’s pretty good writing for someone as young as him.
no it really isn't. Maybe for the average person his age then it is slightly better but for the average kid his age that reads as much as he does it's complete shit

>>18865279
It's a holy mission. We need to spread the good word by whatever means. Same goes for The Learned Disguise.

>>18865539
Pitch black silence pierced the darkness.

>people complaining about the grammar
Soulless. You wouldn't rewrite the room because the English was so shoddy, would you? Mark my words, Wulden-esque is the next movement, classified by choppy and awkward English juxtaposed by westophilic pretentiousness. It's a post-ironic statement about our information rich yet poorly educated society, where we look east but listen west; where we scorn learned for the mistakes of the ignorant. Right now, we live in a Wulden-esque society, where sitting on a train not on your phone with earphones in is weird; where free thoughts are criminal.

>>18865773
holy based. waldunchads can't stop winning.

>>18865773

>Wulden-esque: choppy and awkward English juxtaposed by westophilic pretentiousness.

kek

>>18865082
>naming all of your chapters “chapter x”
>putting in a table of contents anyway
Holy based