/lit/ - Literature

weed

>>18786194
Just reposting from the last thread:

DAE remember the Go For A Punch creepypasta?
Apparently, there were a bunch of lazy Discord trannies that wanted to make an anime out of it. As expected, that never happened, because they're a bunch of lazy Discord trannies.
But I do think there is some untapped potential into this story.

Instead of the untitled schoolgirls, I'm thinking about a "vocaloid/anime girl hell" of decadence and debauchery that takes the form of an endless series of concrete bathrooms, prison cells and loos. Basically an everlasting dumpster with techno-garbage everywhere and black goo dripping from the walls. Vocaloids are trapped here after their momentum in the spotlight is gone, and all of them are left to kill themselves in bloody ways. Some vocaloids that couldn't fit in (homosexuality, depression, body dismorphia, mental illnesses, murder) are also condemn to spend the rest of their lives inside of this hellhole.

Vocaloids that don't kill themselves are left wondering eternally inside of this cold, austere place. And this is where we introduce the character of Saki and her punished "friends".

TL;DR : I have plans for writing a creepyasta based book, that would mix anime, Pynchon, Sartre/Heidegger and Chris Cunningham-tier body horror. Lots of pondering about the Asian consumerist bug mentality too.

>>18786181
No of course you are correct. Obviously living in fear is a nightmare BUT writers like Wilde and Genet and Mishima prized precisely this transgression and danger. And one cannot help but find the hidden romances described by Gide, Peyrefitte, Forster, etc. romantic! Plus, as Pasolini notes, there were more opportunities for organic un-self-conscious sexual relations between men before the emergence of gay as a discrete and identifiable identity. Now that homosexuality is no longer evil it has become just another means of enforcing liberal moralism! If it were a kind of ancient Greek integration into social order it would perhaps be edifying (I believe the 'Homophile' movement in Germany had something like this in mind), but bourgeois assimilation is the lamest possible!

>>18786194
been writing a lot this week :) not sure if i ever intend on sharing any of it but there's definitely something carthartic in externalising parts of your mind
it's no surprise at all that montaigne wrote an entire fucking tome's worth of essays on seemingly disparate topics throughout his life. exploring different subjects through prosaic output is really fun and probably beneficial also

>>18786194
I will never get over my catholic upbringing. Even after not practicing any for over a decade I still get triggered everytime the church or the christian God is slightly criticized. Damn you, grandma!

How is it possible that goku had two children without even knowing what a kiss is?

>>18786227
Chichi fucked him while he was asleep.

>>18786212
I agree with you.

I wanted to be a writer when I was younger, and now I write for serial pornographic series known as "Adult Visual Novels."

Life is strange, man.

>>18786194
Where to travel for 2 weeks? Southern Spain, Sicily, Greece, Egypt, or Mexico city?

>>18786248
Either Southern Spain or Sicily.
>>18786245
What's the matter? Write regular books... I don't see the problem.

>>18786248
Not him but I've also been wondering this. Never travelled for fun before but I wanna save up and go somewhere before I graduate uni in 2 years and have to wage slave. Thinking about going to Japan but I don't think I'll be able to afford it

>>18786268
Japan is closed right now. East and South East Asia in general is difficult for travel at the moment.
I am in a similar position. I spent the age of 18 to 23 mostly just traveling and working. Decided to get my degree so j transfered to a university and start in September. Won't be able to travel long term for the next two to 5 years(depending on if I go to grad school) so I want to go somewhere for 2 weeks or a month as a last goodbye. Have been around Europe but not to the parts I have listed

>>18786278
Yeah, but I figure it'll be open by the time I travel which is probably gonna be 2023 during my spring break. Haven't been to any of those places except Egypt but I'd choose either Sicily or Greece

It's early in the morning and the board is very slow but here I am refreshing again and again to see if anything new and interesting pops up to read and reply to

Hello fellow trapped in a rut person

>>18786340
I'm cleaning my house as I look at the board per break.

>>18786340
This is my eurofag life

>>18786203
Well, it sounds great... on paper, at least.
But i have a few questions :
1) what does Pynchon and Heidegger have to do with your story?
2) what is the black goo about? what's its purpose?

the level of insanity on this website has been rising rapidly

How old were you when you realized life wouldn't be normal for you? I remember eating at a mall alone when was 13 or something thinking about how I have no experience with girls and that I'd hopefully get a girlfriend by college. Now I'm half way through and haven't even gotten any female friends much less a girlfriend. Most people assume they'll be married with kids by the time they're in their thirties and I don't even know if I'll be when close to getting married

>>18786375
1) Pynchon for the aesthetics and writing style (even though I will try to make more “readable” and Heidegger for his work on “Being And Time”)
2) the black goo should be a kind of addictive substance, like heroin but more powerful

>>18786194
He chased after her with the blade facing downward. The closer he got, the more he slashed. She ducked and ran around the thick wooden and metal poles that inhabited the pit. She slipped in whatever stuck to the bottom as she ran. The same half liquid half solid substance stunk on the floor just as much as it did on the walls of the pit.

>>18786408
>poles that inhabited
You cannot say "inhabit" about something that isn't alive

>>18786390
>the level of insanity on this website has been rising rapidly
How new are you? I've been here for 10 years, this site is in a perpetual state of insanity

>>18786394
6th grade so I was around 11-12 years old. Puberty time, people starting to write notes to crushes and """date"""". My hormones emerged and I realized that I am a quiet shy nerd that watches naruto and reads books on the greatest medieval battles. Never played sports, only had one or two friends(always sat alone together since the first grade because best friend was allergic to nuts(think this fucked me socially)) wasn't part of the "cool kids", was short and skinny. Worked up extreme courage to ask a girl if she liked me on a note, was rejected. Tried to make friends with the cool kids in 7-8th grade, was treated as a joke, never invited to anything.
Went to a new high school and had no social life or friends for two years. Ate lunch in the computer lab. Somehow made friends my junior year, grew into my looks, started having girls interested in me, spent my senior year chasing parties and all that. Thought it was finally over, I finally became a normie.
Then I graduated and spent 5 years as a neet.
I knew it was over pretty early but had a small reversal of fortunes. But by 19 I accepted my fate.
That note I gave at 12 years old is the last fucking time I had the courage to ask out and show interest in a girl.
I'm 23 years old

>>18786394
Around middle school, when I realized that I kept making friends with all sorts of different people in the different "cliques" in my public school system, but all the people who were friends with me never wanted to be friends with each other.

I gradually realized that I had friends in all these groups--theater kids, band kids, football kids, more popular kids, less popular kids--but whenever there was a fight between one group and another, EVERYONE would turtle in and pull back into their own group, their own clan, and I'd be left alone in the middle because I wasn't part of a clan at all.

That's when I knew I was never going to be normal. I could be handsome and charming and even have lots of friends, but I wasn't a "joiner" so when the chips were down I'd always be alone.

If the fire of holy rebellion has truly been kindled in your heart, walk, go on. carry on without stopping, until you fall busted on the road or until you get the cursed beards of men, where Delilah preyed on to surrender human strength.
Rebel against everything: there is nothing or almost nothing good.
Rebel against all: there is no one or almost no one just.
If a young man comes out on the road and says: young people. respect the elders, tell them: young man, bury your dead. where the living do not desecrate them.
If you are apostrophized by the alarmed geniuses of your impetuous and resonant irruption. answer them: we are the new life. Adam is born again.
Carry with you a pocket of respect and a sack of disrespect. Immoderate respect creates seeds of servitude in the soul.
Be arrogant as if there was nobody in the world or anything stronger than you. There isn't. The smallest seed takes hold in the crack of the granite, takes root, grows, clears the rock, tears the mountain, collapses the secular castle ... it triumphs.
Be reckless, as if you were above Fate and Doom.
Be bold and courageous, as if you had Victory and Death tied to your feet.
You are the life that is renewed. nature that triumphs. the thought that illuminates, the will that creates. Young barbarians of today, enter the decaying and miserable civilization of this country without luck, destroy its temples, destroy its gods, lift the veil of the novices and elevate them to the category of mothers to virilize the species, penetrate the property records and make bonfires with their papers so that the fire purifies this infamous social organization.

>>18786457
Weak prose and childish ideas

>>18786394
I always had a hunch but after failing in uni, regarding social stuff, i realized that i was always just an observer and not a protagonist. I'm past the late blooming straight into withering.

>>18786453
Yeah I was like this too. Had friends from all the "groups" but no distinctive group of my own. Similar idea has carried on to today in regards to what I believe in for various subjects. I feel like I can adopt a new thought system and see its validity and then adopt the complete opposite one the next day if i wanted to. I have a sense of self but everything beyond that watchful silence behind the eyes doesn't need attachment to anything to be aware of itself.
Maybe I'm just a soulless npc

>>18786394
6th grade when I was 11 years old and had no friends and the only friend I had was a sadist who had an obsession with me, was abusing me emotionally, bullying me, ridiculing me, punishing me, making me live in constant fear/shame/guilt, denying and trying to destroy my abilities and mental/physical/social qualities, socially isolating me in order to aienate me, so as to entirely annihilate my self-esteem. I always dreamed of being the popular kid but that never worked out. All the kids always thought I was ugly and retarded when I wasn't (I'm objectively not these things but I guess kids automatically think this about anyone who's different). Then I discovered anime at 12, internet friendships... And this site a little later...

"The truth will set you free."
It's finally starting to feel real.

It's been 5 years. The lies don't work.
Lying has given me no growth, no improvements, no change. Lying has given me nothing but comfort and a cage, shackled to my lies.

I want to be free, but I'm also scared.
Once I tell the truth, I can't go back. The lies' comfort is gone forever, and I don't know what's on the other side.

I'm so scared.

>>18786248
Eastern Spain

>>18786464
On the contrary, Anon.

I think you are more alive than most people. Or at least that's what I tell myself, since I'm like you.

I like to think, like to hope, that perhaps I have a clear-eyed view of things. Unbothered by a desire to belong, that I might see the truth of things. Without a fear of being cast out from a clan, I might see clearly.

One of the oldest memories I have, which must come from when I was five or six or seven, was of me doing something deliberately as an act, of doing something purely for the impression it would convey on those who saw it. And I remember being repulsed by this action, and vowing ever since not to do anything for effect. I remember promising myself that if I ever did anything going forward, I would do it because I truly wished to do it, not because of the effect it would have on the people who saw me.

Maybe this is why I'm not a joiner. I don't like going along with a group if it's going to traffic in coercions and manipulations. I prefer the truth, however cold and cruel it is. I like to be honest with myself and with everyone else. I prefer to be able to see into the bottom of my own soul.

Maybe this has left me without many real friends. But on the other hand, I sleep soundly at night.

its a bad day to be a 4chan user. every board is now filled with more bait threads, porn posters and overall low quality posts. i feel like im talking to children sometimes. due to covid, an eternal summer awaits us all and the sunburns from it will stay forever

>>18786554
>i feel like im talking to children sometimes
oh but you are. 4chan has always been a website for teenagers. moot was 15 when he made it. most people are in their teens when they start browsing. if anything, there is something wrong with people who stick around too long.

>>18786569
they shouldnt not post at all then. learn how the boards work first and then fling your shit at one another

>>18786584
yeah, but it's over. no one even uses the phrase lurk more. by and large, the site has been the domain of newfags for years. just a natural consequence of the amount of people browsing here

My teeth are spark plugs to a mouthful of exhausted energy. Yellow clicking to affirm. Tired eyes. Jade green spinning into rags. Click click tink tink tired, bartap tired.
You can keep drinking. You can keep sleeping. You can keep being the Truth you want to be but you can't outrun being human.
Pliers would make a Great dentist to all those Great teeth.
At least you'd get results.

The Greatest Betrayal of your mind is the hope that things will stay the same.

>>18786541
Same
>t. Social butterfly with no real hard affiliation

Maybe just fear of committing. But it seems like the whole honest truth is the best

>>18786569
There's more older people on it than there used to be. Especially for certain boards like /lit/. /v/ and /b/ in contrast are full of kids.

i try to make "jet set radio" music all the time and the song i just made sounds the most like it ive ever come imo.
im happy bros. hold me.

I want to harm myself. It is the only thing that feels real and permanent. Everything else is ephemeral. You'll tell me not to, probably, but it feels pointless to avoid it. If I don't do it today, I'll want to do it tomorrow and for the rest of this fucking thing. I'm losing my marbles here. I'm not going to harm myself don't worry. But my exist feels so pointless, I need to do SOMETHING. I feel I need permission to go a little crazy. I want to do something crazy to validate how bad things hurt. I don't want to hurt myself, but I don't know what else to do.

>>18786698
Why are you feeling bad

>>18786698
Unironically work out, it's a healthy form of self-harm

>>18786394
Probably when my survivalist mother was bringing us to visit my father in the mental asylum to discuss how they couldn't get divorced because she would have to register as a resident.

>>18786698
Nigga go punch a brick wall and feel the fallacious reasoning throb its course through your damaged tissues.

>>18786638
I'm sure that's true, and zoomers don't read, so naturally this would be among the more mature boards. still, should not surprise anyone that it's a website populated by children

Paul Johnson died
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9APAHhIPhJE
It's weird. He was only fifty, but because everyone who is older than you seems ancient when you're young, I probably thought he was close to fifty when that came out. When I heard about his death, I thought, "Damn he was probably only seventy". I only realized how much of a baby he must have been at the time now I'm old enough to think fifty is young to die. Here's to being a dumb kid.

>>18786821
it's like grandparents, they always seem really old, from when you're a toddler to when you're an adult

>>18786842
It probably helped he'd already lost a leg.

>>18786821
>Paul Johnson died this morning
>that Paul Johnson who worked with Thomas and Guy-man
>mfw

>>18786861
I found out yesterday that Aphex Twin's sister is the new Welsh climate minister. The news is only going to get more weird as time goes on.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_5oRtBDtfg

>>18786893
WTF????? But I thought Richard’s family was Cornish, not Welsh?
Did Wales completely surrender to English supremacy or what?
Also, that’s a cute coincidence.

>>18786903
Think his dad went where the mines were open? They were in Canada and shit too, so I think it was anywhere rough and Cornwall was where they stopped the longest. He was born in Ireland and she's born in Wales, so Cornwall is kind of like the other bullshit stories he used tell to keep focus off him as an individual. Everyone from Ireland I've met considers him Irish by birthright.

>>18786394
27. I grew up in a really dysfunctional family, and I always believed that when I became an adult I would finally be able to do the things I wanted to do and in some way I would blossom when I was finally able to contend with the wider world.

I was completely wrong though. All the hopes I invested in the future were totally naive. As an adult, if you have had a seriously abusive, neglectful, or messed up background... it actually gets harder. Harder than that abusive situation. Harder to hide that you are very different from other people. Those who have had a "good enough" childhood adjust to adulthood and rack up the normal milestones... but people who had to adapt to an extreme environment carry those adaptations with them, and have developmental issues so that some parts of them are mature and functional enough, but other parts are busted and will probably never be normal.

>>18786423
I first visited 9 years ago
you don't think posters are more neurotic these days?
maybe I'm just noticing it more

>>18787089
Came here in the long long ago. Way more full sentences, less shitposting, and very little CSS. Less OC too now. It's fine.

Did God in His Divine Providence make Christianity a western phenomenon because the East (Islam, Hinduism, Taoism) has super-sacramental means of achieving sanctification, thus maximizing salvation of souls throughout the world?

>>18786394
>2nd grade: oblivious to reality, read science books all day, walked in circles, jumped around innawoods, didn't give a care about the world (careers, college, relationships) considered sexuality intrinsically evil (burned pages of sex-ed on campfire in middle school)

>NEET: oblivious to reality, read science books all day, walk in circles, jump around innawoods, think sexuality is intrinsically evil, don't care about the world

Now that I've sabotaged any chance to get into college or the military, I guess I'm waiting to get kicked out into the streets as some schizo or something? Or maybe my consciousness will be activated and I won't feel like I'm living in a perpetual dream-state

>>18787107
How do I live out beliefs of sacramental praeternaturality without going full schizo? Like if myth and demons are fully real how can I possibly navigate the world since I'm 100% stembug indoctrinated into Cartesian Dualism?

>>18786893
da fuck
>what da fuck
anon this is one of the best posts i've seen in awhile. the words in it taught me something i'm glad i learned, and the preacher's comparison of various children games to adult behavior (and all set to a fire beat!) is a moment of genius

>>18786773
punching walls doesnt generate pathos from the outside, wall punching as self-harm signifies to others that you have anger issues and thats one of the mental illnesses (next to narcissism) that nobody feels bad for

>>18786394
Probably around middle school or late elementary school. I pretty much went through exactly what you went through and at the age of 25 I still haven't had a girlfriend.

I'm not mad or upset or anything like that since frankly most women aren't interested in the nerdy math, science and computer shit I am and vice versa. I'm more upset about the fact I didn't make a move on the couple of girls that I knew in elementary and middle school who I was very close friends with and shared their interests along with their souls with me. I was really fucking oblivious when I was younger and I hate it. If I ever find that woman, I will tell her how much she means to me and love her untill the end of time.

>>18786194
Recently I have seen some posters repeatedly saying things like 'pissbaby' and 'are you going to piss your pants', 'shitting and pissing yourself'. Is this related to the fringe subculture of people who wear diapers or just some kind of Freudian thing?

Why do I struggle to read a 10 min article but can sit for more than an hour reading a book?

>>18787191
im the same way. i have like five article tabs next to each other that have been there for months now, but every morning i wake up and read for three hours before touching my computer, but still cant read the articles even though they're topics i find interesting

i'm not sure what it is, it just feels like it's something i can do later, or less substantial in some way

>>18786394
In my early teens when I saw somebody try to kill himself. I'd always been popular at school and like >>18786453 and >>18786464 I've always been one of those people who could essentially talk to anybody and be funny and whatever. But, the part of me that turns that switch in my head so that I can be sociable and charming is just not interested.

I've turned down plenty of opportunities for sex and other social connections over the years, and been on the other side of those unrequited feelings. I so rarely feel any sort of connection to another human being I am beginning to wonder if I am a different species altogether, one that just so happens to be well adapted to blending in. Needless to say I'm a total loser and a khv.

I've tried everything good they say you're supposed to do. Exercising, building a support network, eating healthy, waking up at the same time every day, not drinking, no drugs, meditating, praying and reading scripture, even therapy. It's always there. I think I'm going to join the 27 club this year. Well, I'm not nearly famous enough to get let in, I guess, but I'll be with them in spirit.

>>18787163
The vocal's Aretha Franklin's dad. Chicago got great vocal sampling. Lots of turn of the century dance music tapped into the fact most of the crowd was there to have some form of ecstatic experience where it didn't matter if it was tongue in cheek or real so long as the beat keeps kicking.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiMl_6EsVcg

Mother Theresa is based.

>>18787179
>most women aren't interested in the nerdy math, science and computer shit I am
I assure you, if that means making good money, they would be interested in that aspect at the very least.

>>18786606
Excellent post.

>>18786698
You know that feeling of blissful release you get from cutting yourself only lasts a brief moment. What are you going to do when it fades?

>>18787263
>What is he going to do when it fades?
Probably heroin.

>>18787232
>the crowd was there to have some form of ecstatic experience where it didn't matter if it was tongue in cheek or real so long as the beat keeps kicking.
thought this was going to be the obvious choice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhSB8EEnCAM

I have been struggling greatly with the question of whether man is more than only an organic automaton, existing as a function of gravity equal to a ball rolling down a hill
Lately, people making the most mundane displays of animalistic behaviour overwhelm me with an intense, though temporary, anxiety

Should you commit to that which you’re naturally talented in, or that which you naturally gravitate toward?

>>18787342
arent these the same?

>>18787355
Not him but no. I was/am great at lots of shit where I'd fucking kill myself if I had to do it regularly/again. I'd prefer to be okay at what I like. You can always get more skilled, even if you're not talented, to answer >>18787342

>>18787355
No. Consider two endeavors. One comes naturally to you as a matter of skill but the other is more enjoyable, easy to commit to despite being less skilled naturally.

>>18787342
I'd say go with what you gravitate towards for the argument that being talented naturally at something does not guarantee that you'll enjoy it.

>>18787342
That's a very difficult question to answer, especially out of any context. If possible, do both. Commit at least somewhat to the thing you feel you're talented in and see where it takes you. Maybe you'll discover you enjoy it as you work at it.
If that's impossible, you should probably choose what you're drawn to if you're reasonably sure it's not a passing thing.

>>18787263
life only lasts a brief moment and then fades and there's nothing to do then

>>18787288
>the question of whether man is more than only an organic automaton, existing as a function of gravity equal to a ball rolling down a hill
the alternative is vitalism which has lost absolutely every battle to empirical evidence, even w/r/t your own decision making, where it can be shown that any decision you make was decided before you are conscious of it. and the problem is that even if it is true, it wouldn't make a practical difference either way

>>18787236
You aren't wrong. Still though, I want someone to talk to about it, not just someone to be interested in it because I'm making bank in it. Fundamentally, I want a woman who is both a friend and a lover and I still haven't found that woman yet in my adult life.

>>18787383
But just because you enjoy something doesn’t mean you’ll ever be good at it.

>>18787397
>If possible, do both.
I’m sure you can guess that I ask because this is predicament I find myself in. I would very much like to do both but I’m finding that extremely difficult and investing in one naturally detracts from the other, which might be acceptable to some people but I don’t find it acceptable. I think either one deserves more on its own.

>>18787520
>>18787526
Well, in that case it may be a choice between achieving what some consider to be success through pursuing whatever you have a natural ability in, or doing the thing that actually makes you happy in the doing - which is what many artists say is what matters, enjoying the process itself with only secondary, if any, regard for what the world will think of the result.

I like books more than I like manga but the manga I like the most I like more than any book. I just haven’t been able to find a book that really clicks and resonates with me.

>>18787635
Yeah. I wonder if there’s a middle ground that I just can’t see yet.

I like cats, do you like cats?
Of course you do, you sassy motherfucker.

I am sick for the first time in years. It's horrible.

Really hoping the new strain of the dread coof causes another shutdown. Could use some free gibs and prefer the quiet .

People are quick to assure you that the world has only got better what with technological advancements and things, but we all know that if you showed someone from 100 years ago anything from today they would kill you on the spot

>>18786394
In the vain of “normal” experiences with women, I knew very early on in my life I was a freak when it came to them. I was simply too neurotic, awkward, and unattractive for anything to happen.

Since graduating college I’ve fixed my problems a bit, not quite as unattractive, and hide my neuroticism/awkwardness, but still a virgin.

>>18787744
People have grown weak and domesticated and soft. Their only skill is learning how to push buttons. We've lost something essential, a fierceness of the spirit which is cultivated by surmounting adversity.

How much cash do you think I should have saved in order to live out of a parent’s property or out of my car for 1-2 years? The car is paid and obviously in the case of the parent, there’s no living expenses.

>>18787760
Press button in my ass

>>18787789
Don't push my buttons.

All he does is watch TV, eat, and sleep. He doesn't work or do much of course, he just lives with me, and what worries me is that we don't even talk anymore. We wake up together, we eat, and then he turns to the TV right on schedule as I get ready for work. And not a peep from him! I don't know if I'm doing anything wrong. I just hope he's happy. I guess his is kind of lifestyle is normal for him now? I imagine a lot of other modern cats live similar lives.

>>18787098
I remember the exact opposite since 2012ish, and even then I could see that things were changing for the worse

day 4 of sobriety

>>18787864
I remember before /g/ got into computers.

>>18787787
depends on your circumstances but you're still going to want an emergency buffer fund for any unexpected expenses. things need fixing in the house, or something happens to your car, etc.

honestly i'd still try to secure maybe 6 months to a year's worth of funds in a hypothetical "what if i need to suddenly move out on short notice" scenario based on your historical expense pattern.

safest bet would be 1 year's worth of secured living expenses if you had to move back out, and maybe just have a part time job somewhere so it doesn't look bad on a resume that you were out of the workforce for X years.

unless of course you mean you want to quit work altogether and just retire, in which case you'd easily need like 500k-1m just ballparking it over a lifetime if you're going to continue living in a 1st world country and especially if you're young. obv expenses are lot lower if you move to a 3rd world country but that means forfeiting your car and parent's house

there's no easy way out of the rat race is what im saying

Is this what you call love?

Since I first saw her I couldn't stop thinking about her.
I started following her to her waiting spot.
She always stares at her phone and I can't tell what exactly she's doing, but it looks like she is watching movies or something. Everyday, doing the same thing. Never interacting with anyone, never looking up.

Her short blonde hair is so incredibly cute. Her dresses and the way she walks. Everything about her looks so pure. Something I've never seen in any other female. There's nothing sexual in my obsession. I never get any lust when I see her.
My heart starts beating fast and my thoughts become hazy and I'm seething with rage when I think about the degeneracy around her.

She looks so unobtainable and I'm becoming more and more incel everyday because I know that she probably is not at like like I imagine her to be and there will never be such a female.
And I'm probably just harassing her. I once tried to call out to her and she acted like I wasn't there. Oh it hurts so much.

I know I already sound like a faggot and this is some gay shit and what females are stupid I know but I can't help it

has anyone here seen the inside of a book that literally cannot be found on the internet? it's ok if it's mentioned but it cannot be sold in any website or have a downloadable pdf. diaries obviously dont count. i dont know if government or corporate stuff would count.

>>18787941
>I'm probably just harassing her
You absolutely are lol. Assuming she even notices you, that is. I don't understand you guys. You see a cute girl doing something normal and you think you're in love. It's pathetic.

>>18788003
It's not some "cute girl doing normal things"
If it was, I could just stalk a million other sluts, but I don't, never did.

>>18786516
what lies, anon?

>>18786194
test

>>18787210
>Needless to say I'm a total loser and a khv.
Based

>>18787696
fucking wish I lived in the kind of communist utopia where the government gives you money for just existing

>>18787888
Were they cracking interstellar travel?

>>18787991
yeah, plenty. living in a small non-english speaking country helps

>>18788095
you don't wanna know the kinds of things they were cracking

>>18787918
Well, there’s no way I’m returning to what I do now. I’ll try to get paid for some freelance stuff for now. Otherwise, I’m assuming I’ll be spending a year with no income at all, non-negotiable. The car is paid off. The house is too. I wouldn’t have to pay for repairs or maintenance on the house, but would on the car assuming any arise. Gas is expensive relatively but in the big picture, not. I have mandatory student loan payments but I’m just that on to what I need. The car would take a bit of investment to winterize it but it’s truly not that expensive. Right now, I’ve got about $10k cash that I can just burn for a year and I’m wondering if that’s not enough.

>>18787918
>>18788185
As for food, I planned for my staple to be rice, which can be purchased cheaply by the sack. For other foods, I can get them cheaply from Wal Mart or McDonald’s presumably. So really, the absolute lowest I’ll need is literally just food, gas, and student loan payments along with any potential repairs or maintenance which who knows ahead of time.

>>18787941

>>18788021
She's a blonde waiting for the bus, I'm right and you're delusional

>>18788190
What do you plan to do with your year off?

>>18787760
The grass is always greener on the other side

>>18787941
Creep

>>18787941
This post is so retarded on so many levels I don't even know where to begin

>>18787941
I had a pedo phase years ago. I was a college freshman. I would do this to 10-12 years old little girl from my neighbor.

>>18788422
You know this is a honeypot right?

>>18787941
>purityfag is a degenerate creep
Many such cases. roasties were right about this one.

>>18788329
There are no sides here. It is always better to not be soft and domesticated and timid and wallow in defeatist resignation and always better to instead have an intrepid spirit and a capacity for self-reliance.

I'm not saying I buck the modern trend and am some rugged pioneer. Though life as an urbanite and digital native has regrettably softened my instincts and blunted my will my refusal to let it slide completely has saved me from becoming a soiboy.

>>18788436
I mean I never did anything, FBI officers. I was just a giant loser and was losing my mind, my thought process back then was deranged. I got back in track somehow.

>>18788475
The other side is believing that people were different in the past. That is just false.

>>18788481
tell it to the judge buddy

>>18788475
based

Chris-chan is 39. I'm 22. We're both mentally ill. Chris has no kids and probably won't ever will. This is a good thing. I might have kids but maybe I shouldn't. I've had depression since I was 15 and I still haven't figured out the reason, and since that time I've lived like a recluse, with no chance of meeting any girls or even making friends. 22 is still young, you might say. But it feels like I was 19 just the other week. And my mental health is still just as bad as it was 3 years ago, it's not getting any better.

At this rate, unless something changes drastically for the better I'll waste all my 20's in my room alone. I tried making friends, I tried joining clubs at university, I tried meeting girls online, every time it fell through because of mental illness. If I'm still not cured by the time I'm 30, I think I'll decide firmly to not have children, because it's better not to have been born than to spend your life wasting away.

>>18788514
Go to a therapist

>>18788475
Then go ahead and harden your instincts you fucking nigger
What, you think it's harder today? No one's obliging you to sit here on your ass and browse fucking 4chan. Go be a wild beast

>>18788185
>>18788190
ok so you have 10k and you want it to last at least one year. so 10,000/12 is 833.333 so that means you would need to spent at least 830 or so dollars each month to zero out that fund. now obviously you're not going to do something so irresponsible, but 830, or even 800 per month seems liveable if car and house is covered. but to waste 10k in one year is still pretty hefty desu, you don't want to burn all of your savings so if we try even 5k for 1 year that gets you at $400 a month

honestly the smartest thing for you to do rn is to math it out. clarify what are the fixed costs/expenses/liabilities in your life and what's not. you said you still have gas and student loans, those are fixed expenses that you can math out. then you can estimate how much do you think it would cost food per month, assuming 3 meals a day or whatever, just get a number. get bank statements, get credit card transaction details, get spreadsheets, numbers are your friends here not anonymous strangers who can give you magic numbers

this way you can guage your costs, adjust accordingly, and hopefully have a very low cost-to-live ratio especially if you have no income stream or if its an uncertain one. for income you can kinda average it out if you have some kind of idea or historical average for you to at least make a projection

this is the long answer of course. short answer is $10 is plenty depending on how you live, can probs do 1 or 2 years but again this is assuming no unexpected expenses, no income, and things are covered. that usually doesn't happen so at least have an emergency fund and maybe even an emergency plan if things don't work out as you plan

because in life, things rarely do

>>18788221
Read, write, camp, hike. To be perfectly honest with you, I’m really unhappy with my life as it is and I just want to take a hard break from it. There’s a part of my state (Northeastern US) which is pretty much untamed wilderness where you can go camp, stargaze, all that stuff and I just want to go there and drop out for a while. That’s my primary motivation. If I can get a little better at writing in that time too, that would be a plus.

>>18788522
I will soon, mainly just because it's required in my insurance in order to do certain treatments. I don't think therapy will actually help desu

>>18788475
>"I'm not soft and domesticated and I want to cultivate fierceness of spirit"
>Goes to /write what's on your mind/ to complain about people pushing buttons

>>18788449
>>18788403
>>18788391
>>18788003
>>18788199
Fuck you cunts you don't know what pure love is. I'm no pedo

>>18788545
Simply buy a milk cow

>>18788449
I'm a beta loser and never experienced something like this

>>18788610
Haha

>>18788109
anything interesting in there? anything the english speaking world might be missing?

>>18788641
No, YOU don't know what love is. you have absolutely no conception of it. what you mean is infatuation, and in this particular case it's a sort most people find to be varying levels of deranged, and for pretty good reason. get a motherfucking grip you dense cunt, before you become a complete fucking retard, if it's not too late already.

>>18787760
>>18788475
very much empathetic and understandable but also undeniably cringe. this is not nearly as big or dramatic as you portray it to be.

>>18788774
2 years ago i would have agreed but we have officially departed normal times

imagine confusing lust with love

>>18788750
>anything the english speaking world might be missing?
honestly.. probably not. it's too culturally.. self contained, too particular to the land and history and culture and language. there's a different spirit running through it, one that probably doesn't translate too well into English.
we have some stuff that's pretty good, the language itself is kinda fascinating and there's a bunch of poetry I've liked, but again, that especially would absolutely not be translatable, so a moot point. there hasn't really been anything mind-blowing written in the language though, as far as I'm aware we don't really have a masterpiece. I could be wrong, as there's a lot left for me to discover. I'm not that well read in my own native language. I always keep thinking I should go to the library and dig deeper, but then it's also always followed by the suspicion that there aren't any real treasures to discover. but maybe there's something. it can be quite a poetic language, oddly enough, because it also seems to me to be somewhat emotionally stiff, though I couldn't explain what I mean by that exactly.

>>18788821
as a non-european, i relate with this too well. i really wish there was this hidden treasure no one knows though.

>>18786194
I think I can pretty easily become what I want now

>>18788849
yeah, would be sweet, wouldn't it. I'm European though

I'm too afraid to even be alive anymore

>>18789022
too afraid to live, too afraid to die. pitied by none, scorned by men and gods alike. counter to nature and anathema to the divine. what is to become of such a creature? stranger to strangers, damned among the damned. chaff for the fire, a name fated for oblivion. the wind whispers "cringe", and you are spoken of nevermore.

I am so riddled with neuroses and random anxiety at night that I can't sleep during most of the time.
I've failed college semester years ago and ever since then i have this feeling that I've already lost: I'm so fucking useless, lazy, mentally ill, directionless that i couldn't even pass a simple test at a god damn university.
How am i supposed to endure the psychic pain and grind of a job and daily life when i couldn't even handle college. I'm actually finishing school now but the feeling that I'm a complete failure that is destined to work paycheck to paycheck persists.
I know you guys will call me a faggot but i get that many times already. Is there anything i can do or read that'll break me out of this cycle? I'm losing my mind. /adv/ gives the most cliche and useless advice so I'm not asking there

>>18788553
Rare to see an anon who would actually prefer to get medicated

>>18788785
Cry about it you drama queen

Since the writing improvement general isn't up, can I ask here how to write non-autistic dialogue?
>if you can't do it then don't do it
I know but I have to learn eventually

>>18789140
>Is there anything i can do or read that'll break me out of this cycle?
Unironically therapy or read on cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy). Reading without guidance ends up being as a escapism mechanism.

>>18789160
Pretending not to care while obsequiously obeying repressive measures doesnt make them not real

>>18786394
My mother was raped by a family friend as a child and my father emigrated to America from a North African nation because of a civil war that killed his brother and forced his family out of their multi-generational home of >80 years. When they married my mother had already one son out of wedlock and suffers from many of the obvious signifiers of childhood sexual abuse, my father can seemingly only control himself half of the time and the other half suffers from emotional fits that range from extreme anger to the depths of despair. When I was 4 years old and in kindergarten my 2 teachers and some members of the school faculty sat down with my parents and suggested that I be bumped up to the first grade for the remainder of the school year. I recall(and this was a common theme throughout my public schooling life) that I was something of a classroom nuisance, I'd learn the material faster than any of the other kids and spend the rest of my time causing trouble out of boredom. Either I wouldn't shut up(I have always been a blabberer) or I'd cause some actual trouble. My father felt, that if I spent the next 12 years of my life younger than all the other kids I'd be treated as some kind of freak. He felt, that if I went through my schooling normally it would be better for my health than some sort of accelerated path. When I was 5, again at the request of the school staff, my parents had me take an IQ test where I scored 152(something they would never let me forget). Every year they suggested things to my parents, bump me up a grade, send me to any number of the private schools they recommended. Never once did they take any advice, my older brother had been sent to private school for the first 5 years of his schooling life and flunked out for reasons unrelated to his intelligence. In my father's mind this marked all of them as a waste of money and a failure.

Past a certain praise the endless praise and the difference in the way the other children treated me became humiliating. I'd speak to someone and soon enough, without fail they'd give me that look. They'd recognize that I was "the other" and that would be the end of it. It's hard enough to make friends as a normal child. I had no problems with being friendly to other people, sociable, funny but I could not connect 1-on-1 with others. I've always been good in a group but how can you talk with someone at length when they are always right, even when I was wrong I was so used to being right that I was right anyway. The only real way I could connect to anyone was through physical activity, sport, or any kind of shared hobby or activity that levelled the playing field. Otherwise other people didn't know what to do with me.

When I was in the 7th grade I had my first girlfriend, a normal time for this to happen to most. I adored her, and it wasn't just because she was pretty but because around her I felt like any other kid.
(1/?)

>>18789169
>repressive measures
I don't know where you live, but around here everything is open, you can have gatherings of any size, and masks aren't mandated

>>18789164
listen to people conversing.

>>18789152
When you spend years unable to feel emotions it starts to change your mind
Most people urged to take meds don't actually need them

>>18786394
>>18789185
She was so comfortable around me but that was because she adored me too, I really well-and-truly liked her. But I had been damaged so thoroughly that I could not open my heart to her. Damaged by my feelings of alienation(I had a strong desire to keep parts of myself from others), abuse I suffered at home and the recent death of my grandmother the only adult that had ever made me feel safe. I was so twisted up and knotted inside that I could not let her into my heart. I could not connect with her emotionally and the moment she tried to reach out to me I shut down. I was so fucked and she was so upset. I'd turned cold instantaneously, it made her very distraught and so she was only my girlfriend for three-and-a-half weeks.

I'd resolved to never open myself up to another person again. It hurt too much. She was where I realized that I was not going to have a normal life. Everything just became so hollow, I came to hate all positive attention I got. I did the bare minimum to pass my classes from then on, stopped hanging out with my friends outside of school. I withdrew from basically everything, started playing online pvp games all the time because I could put all my mental energy towards them and forget about everything else.

There were a lot of invitations I turned down, a lot of girls I refused, a lot of goodwill wasted. I'm a much healthier person now, I don't have any regrets but when I think about all the happiness I lost it hurts a lot. When I was in high school there was a girl that had her heart set on me all 4 years. My first memory of her is of her defending me. In the 9th grade 4 of my 6 classes were taken primarily with 10th graders. At the end of middle school the person recommending classes for us for the next year was my Algebra teacher. Disregarding my poor performance across the board she suggested that I be bumped up. My language class and my elective being the 2 exceptions. The boy that sat besides me was very obviously troubled, a bully, but he would later become my friend. He'd do tiny things, they didn't really bother me. Most of the time we got on well enough.

For whatever reason that day he was being a real asshole. Kept fucking flicking my head, kicking my books out of the basket underneath my desk and just fucking pelting me with wadded up paper. She yelled at him, told him to stop, he stopped. I didn't even know her name before that, didn't even recognize that she sat behind me. After that every day after that class she'd walk me to my next even though her's was in the opposite direction.

It wasn't until near the end of the 10th grade that she'd tell me what was obvious to me and her and anyone else who could see. I still turned her down, I have never felt the impulse to love like I felt and still feel towards her again in my life and some days I worry that I never will again. It took me a lot of time to sort through all of my problems and feelings and all that shit to become a functioning human.

>>18789489
The only thing that still sucks me into this depressive mode of thinking is her. Sometimes, usually early in the morning or right before I go to sleep(or even in my dreams) she comes to me and I am filled with this dread. It's like a panic attack, I can't breathe. I'm completely overcome with emotion and fall into this negative spiral of thoughts I attack myself with. I remember her despair, I remember how she looked at me, she wouldn't talk to me for almost 6 months afterwards. She only confessed to me because someone else was hounding her. I'm reminded that someone else took her, that she's going to be someone else's wife, she'll give birth to someone else's kids, someone else has held her, every impulse ive ever had has been fulfilled by someone else. Someone disgusting, someone filthy, some animal and then the worst thought someone better than me. It's been killing me for the last 2 months or so. Some years ago when I was still horribly depressed she tried to reach out and contact me but I did not reply.

She is really the only thing left in my head that beats me down like this and unlike all my other traumas my feelings are too strong, I can't let go of them. A lot of people were good to me and a lot of people tried to help me. When you're in a public school and every adult is servicing 200 people daily there is only so much they can do but they definitely tried. A lot of people had faith in me and I'd like to do right by them and whatever potential I may have. I'm really sick of working these shitty retail and warehouse jobs and I'm really disgusted at the ways I've let myself go. I've tried doing community college before and left halfway through the semester because at the time I was so disgusted with myself that I could not stand to be treated well. Every professor I had seemed to be so excited to be instructing someone with something resembling a brain that they would not leave me alone and it was just too much. Gonna start again in the Fall, hopefully it's one of many steps to living a life where I can feel fulfilled, or at least one where I can live with some honor or dignity or self respect.

>>18786394
Second year of university after I finally made some "friends". I realized by myself that year and it seems that it was obvious for a lot of people too. One friend of a friend quite literally asked me that to my face.

Just had a weird ass dream
already forgot most of it, but this specific part stood out to me
something happened, and I fucked my mom, but something happened
she was infect with some kind of alien fungi, and her vagina has this moldy patch in the shape of a butterfly and her vagina turned into a cloaca-like orifice
somehow I didn't care and I still continued to fuck her, but then as I was looking at the moldy cloaca, I notice that a pustule is starting to form on it, and as it popped a little tiny black dude fell out of it, and it quickly grew, he must've been 8ft or something

accidently click sent

and I remember as he grew he stared at me with hostility, and for some reason my mom said she's trying to fight me!
and as my mom said that he pulled out a fucking shotgun and started firing at me, then an action scene happens that I'm too lazy to describe, I kicked him off of the window and he fell to his death, I remember saying something about niggers.

At this point my mom is no longer my mom and is this different random woman I don't even know and as she came to me, she slipped out of the window and this tentacle like appendage suddenly extended from my arm and grabbed her as I tried to and failed to save her with my normal arms.

I think I was waking up at this point but I remember I said something about gaining the powers of the spawns I kill and something about survival of the fittest, and this somehow being a ploy for the aliens to create an ultimate off-spring.

and I woke up

>>18789824
Chrischan reverberating through the pscyhosphere

>>18789824
That's just a Cronenberg casting call. Forward your dreams to your agent if you don't want them.

>>18788774
pussy

I don't understand a god damn thing

>>18786194
Night lads. Only one more day of work left

I think i'am just going to wait for my mom and aunt tod ie and then kill myself

>>18789218
In real life?

there sure is a lot of empty space what with all the infinite regress that has to be shooting through everywhere

>>18786194
Maybe I just need a cute boy to kiss, hug, fuck and commit suicide with

>>18790504
Or maybe consider you're the lobster Sebastian not the gay Saint?

you all can make it a while without me? no objections? fuck man I wonder what I'll dream tonight. alright, see you in a while then! Byebye now

Designer babies. Yes or no?

Why out of all possible contemporary living writers anons choose to shill fucking garbage on 4chan? There are probably at least 30 threads of garbage to 1 that is worth anything. Is this the power of /lit/?

>>18790680
Those are crypto-ads, anon.

Being accused of sophistry in an argument is the equivalent of being accused of hacking in a video game.

I really want to be the person I want to be, and escape from the person that my family, society and my culture have created from me.

>>18790848
Do it. Your head is the only thing holding you back.

>>18790680
Because the proliferation of utter garbage has made sifting through the post-modern wreckage of literature to find the gems an almost Herculean task.

>>18788548
Now that I’m thinking about it, I wonder if I should invest some money in crypto. I don’t know a thing about it and have no interest in it at all but I feel like I’m shooting myself in the foot by not tossing some money in there.

>>18790852
I'm really trying but it's hard because people expect that i be a certain way and i don't want that anymore

>>18790894
I know what you mean, but what I’m saying is if you really want a departure from that, it is possible. What’s holding you back from it is your unwillingness to depart from the harbor and ship off into the unknown, and I think you know that.

Does death freak you out?

I mean, even for atheists, doesn't it bother you that there could be something? Something totally non-supernatural, like maybe pain is just what death feels like?

Its the eternity that bugs me, unless materialism is the true story of consciousness. I don't understand why things like that hard problem, cartesian dualism, panpsychism, etc., doesn't freak more people out.

To me, there being no experience is a matter of faith. I have no faith in this universe to give me what I desire. If its really so cold and uncaring, why should it respect my sense of pain?

>>18786194
how can I write a plot for manga

>>18791049
Study Kishōtenketsu and you can thank me later.

>>18786194
i appreciate the dbz images in the OP, they make me feel 16 again

>>18786194
Is it autistic to take breaks from a book and imagine how you would have written it differently

I would give anything to go back to a time before social media existed. It really has ruined fucking everything.

I must be autistic or just very neurotic. I can't talk with people without getting into a fight. I'll stay silent next time, I will not give my true opinion on that matter I will look like a contrarian I say to myself everytime and then I do it again. It's not even political or social matters.

>>18791102
Loving the DBZ gifs as well.

>dropped out of high school at 15
>never accomplished anything academic
>be late 20s/early 30s
>about to start a family
>started reading and studying for GED
>worked hard in oil and gas to provide a decent life
>still struggle with some stuff

Any books for soon to be fathers?

>>18791186
Yeah, it's called life.

I just want a friend

>>18791207
Go outside and make them.

>>18791192
>illiterate retard

>>18791186
Most religious stuff, psychology of development and maybe a pedagogy one (I definitely recommend The ABCs of how we learn).

How much political radicalism is simply transmuted unhappiness? There is no such thing as a happy radical. There's all this over-intellectualized rubbish about ideologies and political concept systems when the fact of the matter is that all politics is just gut reaction. This explains how those politicians who achieve the greatest success are not those who propose rational conceptual arguments about policy but those who rile up the emotions of the masses. And this is the flaw inherent in "political science", as it presupposes some underlying logical core to the fundamentally instinctive and emotive nature of political belief.

Hence why utilitarianism is such an appealing concept, though it makes the mistake of trying to mechanize the promotion of happiness. To the utilitarian the best policy is that which makes the largest number of people happy, or at least bitch less. Yet how do you quantify these variables? The healthiest, happiest cultures reside in a sort of collectively shared, continuous, "analog" dimension of mutual spiritual relation without distinction or gradation. Whereas the rationalized measured,--MODERN--civilization is broken into bits and weighed in terms of units of happiness and productivity. But the moment you weigh a moment of happiness you contaminate and pervert it. Happiness is weightless. To weigh is to assert that something has a use for other than what it is in itself, it is to take happiness and say no, that is not enough, it must be used and abused. Politics then is the exercise of unhappiness. It is the end of happiness.

>>18786194
Inside, shedding rain clouds perfumed the falling petalled cell structure,
twirling in ways the wind does waves.
Time was,
a gliding star across an unpolluted night,
a just blackened canvas still speckled with tiny white spheres.
There, within a hidden crevice kept secret in still-life carcass,
come inside, museum-like, now alight, now home,
though it was once in rot around darkness.
Temper does this light on still-life spot
admit to peruse a soul’s lot.
Crystal, emeralding, cell of green and blues, there stilled,
when one looks into the centre hall,
stopped, cased in hallow glass spiralling on display the star remains
for the guest to study its multi-stains.

>>18786232
Wojack posting was never good

>>18791650
Thank you, fucking finally someone said it.

>>18791583
would love some feedback on this...it's a bit out of context but i think it reads well nevertheless

>>18786194
Guys I need advice.

I just bought a car for $6000 from my mom (she used the money to pay the remaining car loan off) and now I'm going to have to spend about $200 each month on insurance and gas.

I used to wageslave in a restaurant for about a year, where I came home exhausted every night and lost a bunch of weight. I applied at Roadhouse and they immediately want to hire, but now I'm having serious second thoughts, along with my mom and grandmother. Are there any good jobs that won't physically degrade me?

Pic related is the shitty resume I managed to put together.

>>18791665
I can't give any feedback because I'm tarded but I support you king, I hope you get some good feedback

gentlemen its that time of the day again..... it is time for me to smoke weeeeed (and im gonna get drunk too!)
https://youtu.be/Nm-ISatLDG0

>>18791679
You should get someone to spruce up your resume a bit so it has that snazzy "professionalized" airhead zoomer aesthetic that hides that you're entry level. One thing I find makes resumes look instantly more professional is making sure all the grammar is the same for each line. Like if you have multiple points under Skills, don't have them be like
>Speak Spanish well
>I have a big dick
>Fast car

It should either be all adjectives or all verbs or all sentences of the same structure like
>Fluent in Spanish
>Well-endowed
>Experienced driver

I used to lie on my resume and say I had worked in the family business whenever I needed to explain a weird gap or make it look like I had worked for longer than I had prior to my first real job. Then they could call my relative who sort of has/had a business and they would only have to half lie about me working for them. But don't do this unless you're sure it will work because maybe I was stupid for doing it.

All jobs suck shit but hard work is honest work when you're young, just remember to keep your dreams alive and don't become so distracted by minor victories that you end up lowering your expectations and staying at a job that's not good for you for too long. It can be character building to do hard labor for a while but too many people get stuck for good because they start to only care about getting the new phone or some other minor lifestyle upgrade.

>>18791691
IT IS ALWAYS 4:20 SOMEWHERE.

>>18788752
>get a motherfucking grip you dense cunt
how?.I told you nigger I can't stop thinking about this femoid
>infatuation
What's the difference anyway

The whole phrase that "the wealth will trickle down" is one of the more blatantly insulting sayings in political circulation. What, am I supposed to wait with my mouth open until Jeff Bezos pees into it? It doesn't trickle down. It never trickles down. And the word "trickle" suggests that only a few drops are leaking out, nothing to go on, just a little tribble. Also the insinuation that it trickles "down"---down, suggest that the rest of us are just lowly animals waiting for our masters to scoop a few paltry grains for us to nibble on, it suggests innate relations of inferiority and superiority among classes. The whole point of capitalism is for capital to concentrate and accumulate to private individuals. Why not have the wealth "pour down", if not "flood down?"

Also, this supposes that the wealth was magically created at the top level rather than produced by the labor of the workers who are now awaiting a few desperate drops to fall down from on high to pay for healthcare bills (which are only expensive so that those who will trickle on them can be so rich). They're only rich because the system needs others to not be rich. There can be no capitalist without the worker but there can always be workers without the capitalist.

I sometimes wake up in the middle very horny for guys, I wonder, why? some succubus shit? I ain't gay.

>>18791865
>for guys
Not that hard to figure out. Come on, you can't be that dumb.

>>18787760
I'm so tired of being a docile cattle slave, having to play by their gay little rules. It's all so tiresome, it's all so very invigorating. But I can't do nothing about it. I'm stuck in this hole and too weak to get out, to do anything by myself. That's what I've been taught all my life

I have this strange feeling that Trump is going to be back in power sooner rather than later. I realize that most of QAnon talk is a dumb meme followed by Boomers, and there doesn't seem to be any concerted effort to actually mount a coup to oust Biden and put Trump back in the Oval Office. But despite that, I just have this feeling that Trump's going to be back in less than four years. Maybe it's because he's hanging around, refusing to go away. It feels like he's biding his time, priming for something that is not-normal in US politics. Maybe it's because Biden just feels like kind of a fuckup. Maybe it's because half the country, at least, thinks the election was stolen. Whatever it is, my instincts are getting triggered over this. It just feels like Trump will be back in power, and back in power a lot sooner than anyone expects him to be.

>>18791865
in the middle of the night*
>>18791871
but why do I never, never get to see or remember any gay dreams?

>>18791865
You were raped as a child. I'm sorry anon.

>>18791872
Atta boy. Rise up! You are capable of more than you know. Don't feel ashamed about attaching to a role model and learning from him. Sometimes it takes mentorship to break out of bad patterns!
A fundamental sign of weakness is the unnatural belief that one must do everything by oneself...it goes against the entire species-essence of human nature.

>>18791877
Two more weeks!

>>18791878
Dunno, try some therapy or whatever, but you might be some closeted gay or bi.

>>18791862
Class war is no more, its all about race, sex and labels.

>>18791877
Maybe you are sensing the general breakdown of political normalcy and the coming advent of unprecedented and "weird" things, metapolitics, rather than any one specific thing, but your brain has only seen the demi-metapolitical Trumpism so far so it is falsely identifying it as more of what you already know

>>18786194
I'm craving some goldfish.

>>18791952
Maybe that's what it is.

It absolutely feels like everyone currently in power in Washington is trying hard to pretend that things are "back to normal" after Trump, and they're doing a terrible job at actually convincing anyone of it. Things don't feel normal at all.

>>18791964
Why?

>>18787342
Depends on what the commitment would mean. Some times, you can leverage your talents so that you can commit more fully to what you have a passion for. Hopefully that’s more often the case, albeit requiring you to get clever or creative, but if not, would you really rather spend your life doing something you’re good at but don’t care about?

At least, this is what I’ve gotten from Grit by Duckworth. It’s a little less of thoughtcandy than your typical pop-psychology book, but idk just how accurate or practical it’s ideas are.

>>18790504
Me too

>>18791952
Fucking hell, I thought I was the only one.

i almost had to fight a raccoon just now. im so high too. it was so fucked up

It's 8.30AM and I'm reading Deleuze at work, which is a pretty good way to start the day and then I have to get back to reading all these ballet biographies but first, Deleuze

There's a girl I hit it off with really well. She was the one who messaged ME, even. We were talking constantly. She lives in another state but I was making plans to go visit her.

And now for the last three days she hasn't answered my text messages.

Why do so many women do this? It's not the first time I've been ghosted. Why do so many people just feel like they can't tell me they're not into me? I hate being left hanging. The one time a woman didn't just ghost me she flat-out cheated on me. And, you know, I almost kind of appreciate that girl, because even when she cheated on me she still TOLD me she was done with me. She was actually up-front and told me that we weren't going to be boyfriend and girlfriend any more. I'd really prefer an honest breakup over this ghosting bullshit.

>>18792110
If people consistently ghost you maybe there is an issue with your texting style clingy/annoying)? People generally ghost you when your texting gets annoying especially if they initiated the texting first. Or it may be another reason but think about it

>>18792114
* (clingy/annoying)

>>18792114
I guess my worry is that I haven't wanted to be inattentive, you know? I don't want to go a week or two weeks without texting because that makes it seem like I don't care. But you think I'm overcompensating in that respect?

>>18792123
I hate relationships. People are always complaining about me, that I'm either too clingy or too cold and distant. I gave up on them, because I'm not willing to figure this shit out to please people that I don't really like that much. Maybe you should work on that? Ask advice to a friend or something, show your texts or whatever.

>>18792110
They have infinite options and life is a constant glittering farrago of fun and exciting new possibilities. Sometimes you can hit it off with a woman in a way that you obsess over because of how perfect and unexpected it was and then she just ditches you for Chad the next week anyway. That's the nature of being a young woman. Not only do they have infinite options but their hormones and desires fluctuate like a fat kid on crack in a Gamestop with an infinite money credit card.

Nothing with women makes any sense. It's like you're fishing and getting mad at individual fish for tugging at the line and not taking the bait. It's a fish. You can't yell at a fish. The only dignified way to fish is to learn to enjoy the scenery and the little things like drinking beer on a boat, or under the shadiest tree you can find, and then wait. Sometimes you will get nothing for a whole trip, sometimes you will get cockteased and then get nothing, and sometimes you will catch a lunker just as you were about to give up and barely cared anymore. That's how it is with vagina too. That's why they smell like fish. But no matter what you can't be yelling at the fish. There is no dignity or sanity in that. They can't even hear you down there. Fish have a whole different existence.

Learn to cast your line and let go. Learn especially to laugh when you almost reeled in a record catch and then it got away at the last second. Don't ever chase an individual fish.

>>18792123
You're overcompensating

how do people have interests in things?
I only play video games, browse the internet, and jack off
anything else is a temporary novelty

>>18792192
they live their lives

>>18792123
Are you autistic? not trying to be insulting or anything.

>>18792218
Yes. Pretty high-functioning, but yes.

>>18792192
You have deep addictions to dopamine rushes. This is why you're unable to enjoy higher things like creation.

This is a weird opinion but Deleuze is almost impossible to understand if you don't have visualization skills it's just... There's too much about systems and movement and interconnections and diagrammatics and change. You have to see and imagine the dynamics is talking about in front of your eyes. I sometimes have to switch off my verbal thinking when I read Deleuze and just interpret it visually and THEN I get it

>>18792240
Not the guy you've replied to but i do enjoy for example editing videos and making amvs sometime, idk i think creativity is not tied to dopamine and yiu need to be a special type of person to derive much meaning from creative endevours

>>18792240
everyone is 'addicted' to dopamine
you would die if you weren't

I think it's simply a result of not having been raised well
My doom was inevitable since birth

>>18792317
>yiu need to be a special type of person to derive much meaning from creative endevours
What type of person do you need to be?

>>18791679
Your resume could look way better with more professional formatting, some advice:

Education
College Name Expected Graduation Date
Economics Cumulative GPA: 3.95
- Extracurricular(s) (if applicable)
- Award(s) (if applicable)

Work Experience
Restaurant name City, State
Title (Wageslave) Jan 2020-Jan 2021
- Delivering food orders from the kitchen to customers' tables rapidly and accurately (instead of food running)
- Assisted customers with X, Y, Z (instead of customer assistance)
- Regularly performed physical labor through heavy lifting and restocking of inventory (instead of restocking/heavy lifting)

Skills
- Spanish (Proficient/Fluent/etc)
(The human psychology/history part are endearingly autistic but probably unnecessary for most jobs - you can make this section "Skills and Interests" and then add these to make you seem more well-rounded - again, depends on where you're applying)

picrel is an example of an old friend of mine who got into Harvard Law School

>>18789999
neither do I, except I sure do understand those digits

>>18791490
Yeah. Hit the nail on the head.

>>18792429
Not that anon but holy shit this looks really helpful. Thank you anon.

>>18786194
why did goku have an orgasm before getting fisted into oblivion

>>18791108
no, actually it seems to be good analytical practice if you're a writer yourself
>>18786219
Believer or not, you were brought up on Christian morals and Christian culture

>>18786638
/lit/, if not filled with kids, is filled with shitposters now. You cant have a normal thread without someone sperging out

I AM TIRED OF EVERY PIECE OF TECH BEING OWNED AND BACKDOORED BY GLOWNIGGERS

GOD FORBID YOU TRY TO BREAK OUT OF THE CAGE THEN HAVE LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR MODERN CONVEIENCES NOT WORK

FUCK YOU CIA/FBI/NSA/GLOBOHOMO FUCKS I WILL NOT LIVE IN ZE POD

>>18789133
LOL

>>18788403
Enlighten us with your superior knowledge then

>"Soon thereafter, the philosopher Ogyu Sorai expressed an identical opinion : “The manners of male and female prostitutes have influenced the members of other classes. At present even daimyo and other people of high status think nothing of using expressions derived from the speech of the courtesans’ quarter and male prostitutes’ quarter, while the wives and daughters of the members of the military class think it is no shame to imitate the manners of the courtesans and male prostitutes. This is a most obnoxious fashion. Whosoever does not join in imitating these people is ridiculed as a boor and the customs and manners of the time have become extremely bad.”

>"The establishment of the Pax Tokugawa and its policy of peasant-warrior separation produced various new social problems : demographic imbalances, gang violence, the weakening of traditional lord-retainer relationships. The new regime also witnessed a decline in the martial ethos and skills of the samurai class. After the battle of Sekigahara, the sustained period of peace encouraged a slackening of the military lifestyle, and it was widely believed that men were becoming effeminate. “The world is degenerating, men’s spirit is declining and they are becoming indistinguishable from women. I’ve definitively concluded this from medical practice”."

From what I'm reading. Absolute kek at this /pol/ discourse from medieval japan. Le degeneracy, le gays and whores, le men losing masculinity. Things truly never change.

>>18792873
>they die it in the past so it must be good

>>18793023
>making such a huge typo that your sentence ends up being meaningless.
>and yes indeed : things never change.

>>18792565
Why do you need modern conveniences?

>>18793023
I have not stated in my post what my own personal concept of "good" and "bad" is. Cute dog picture you've got there.

I would say that there are three main tells of being a normie:
- Social Media user
- A general interest in sports (of any kind)
- Friends and/or in a relationship

Sure, some spergs here and there may have only one or two of such qualities and perhaps not to the same degree, but, I have never met anyone who has all three checked, and is not an absolute normie

By now I am absolutely convinced that I will bring forth into the world of contemporary literature/art ideas that are so far removed from anything that is being discussed as of now that I will single-handedly shift the entire paradigm of today's conceptual landscape, yes my discourse is that next level, no I will not elaborate.

>>18793093
Is being a normie somehow a bad thing?

>>18793102
No, of course not. Normies are necessary. This is just my observation.

>>18793107
No they aren’t

>>18793113
They represent a significant, if not all of, the source of taxes. Therefore, they are necessary

Why do people think Miya is special when it's JUST synthesized /pol/ rhetoric in literary form? Whether you agree with it or not. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with the ideas, this is not what I speak about. How can you think it's interesting, innovative in any way? It has no inherent value. It's a copypaste of the shit you see on /pol/. Just go on /pol/.

>>18793122
Taxes are only needed because of the primitive capitalistic economic system we live in

>>18793023
are there really dogs with snoots that long

>>18792110
Because you are just one of a hundred of other guys that are waiting to stuff their dick in her bloody hole. Her options are practically limitless.
Get over it, she's probably forgotten about you by now and is already getting stuffed by some other chad.

How do you write a dream journal?

I have written mine in bullet form lately and will probably rewrite them on a notebook when I decided to buy one from a bookstore. The memory is still fresh in my mind. Should I write them like a short story?

Lately, I just dreamt of an estranged friend whom I used as a poco stick to cross the flood. Her shoulders function as a grip while she jumps in mid-air, like a jackhammer out of control. Suddenly, her angle went forwardly obtuse, losing all the balance and momentum.

Guess what, she died. Of course, my dreams are regularly histrionic so I wept in anguish. The pedicab arrived and I said, "carry her body to Plaridel."

Any dream journalfags here? Any tips? I want to unleash my writing skills while in my early 20's.

they say act normal to get a gf but i forgot what normal is

>>18793442
kek, I don't know why but I giggled

Seems alright.

>>18792873
>the handholdless virgin Noh theatre critic v the Chad Kabuki actor genderqueer handshake event with complimentary tea service

>>18793488
Kek

>>18793190
yes. they were bred with anteaters

>>18792110
you might have attracted her with your looks but once you started talking she got drier than sahara. thats what i atleast think when i get ghosted but then again there are infinite reasons why it happened.

>>18786194
Everyone is retarded,
So am I,
Internet is proof

>>18793595
so was your mom's cock haha

should I just say fuck it and go full on meme-tier degree path? My school has a philosophy department with decent professors and I actually like the subject, unlike literally everything else. Education is free where I am btw. Worst case scenario I graduate and get a job as a prison guard or something idk

>>18791862
How many people does Amazon employ?

>There can be no capitalist without the worker but there can always be workers without the capitalist.
Rapidly becoming less and less the case. You need fewer and fewer workers, and you can offshore cheaper ones more and more. You do need someone to buy your product, but that only requires a consumer, and a first world welfare state can turn quite the profit.

Capitalism creates a huge amount of resources out of nothing, without which the jobs don't exist. Granted the capitalist's only real function, is to create those resources, and is just as much a cog in the machine as the worker, only generally a more comfortable one. In richer nations, workers tend to have their feet dipped into both occupations via investments.

>>18793939
>philosophy
>prison guard
kek, I don't see the correlation between the two but I think you should go. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting if I made it to the admissions for psychology. I just dropped out last year because of this hassle-filled pandemic. The gov't in my country just implemented online classes and I'm incapable of continuing.
>inb4 poorfag

>>18793939
Let me guess you're french

>>18793990
Oui
:)

doja cat is proof that someone who browses 4chan can enter the echelons of high society

>>18793956
>resources out of nothing
No such thing. And you guys accuse communists of being unrealistic.

>>18793259
Write it exactly like you did in your post. Any detail you can remember should be included.

>>18794042
same goes with Anthony Fantano although he became a corporate shill, tragic

>>18794075
Neither Fantano nor Doja Cat are "upper echelon." Fantano is barely even famous.

>>18794088
>Fantano
The white supremacist?

>>18794088
Maybe some sort of public recognition since they were former anons who browsed selected boards, then they suddenly blew up for some reason. Perhaps, you're correct about them not being part of the upper echelon.

>>18794057
Been a thing ever since the East India Trading Company ended up with a fleet larger than all the nations of the world combined.

Though there's a reason that usury is the only sin Jesus ever beat someone over. The process of making money out of money while producing nothing is inherently unjust, but also just too damned effective, thus even nations calling themselves "communists", had a stock market. (Never mind nations like China, that could power the whole damned planet, if they could find a positive and a negative on Mao's tomb.)

Who are the best modern and post-modern heroes?

>>18794129
none

>>18793259
>>18793259
Write them like you remember them with little thought and just aiming for accuracy/recording

>>18794129
Frankenstein's monster and Joe, the narrator's soul.

>>18794042
>doja cat
I had no idea who she is until now.

>>18794042
Did you forget Moot? He was a celebrity for creating and maintaining 4chan.

>>18794042
literally who?

>>18794196
>Moot
Who?

>>18794073
>>18794141
Thanks, anons. I might probably achieve lucid dreaming by following these tips

>>18794203
He's the creator of infinitychan

>>18794140
It’s not possible that literary modernism nor post-modernism killed the mythical hero entirely. Either writers just avoid it or it’s taken on some other form.

>>18794211
Nah its dead.

>>18794042
>>18794075
I literally never heard of these two.

>>18794002
Je le savais ;)

Just recently got into reading as a hobby, with emphasis on philosophy.

Throughout my life, I thought I was a dumb kid. I got mediocre grades and dropped out of the pre-med program in school for business cause I knew it took little skill. I never thought the problem with my intelligence wasn't from birth, it was just not reading enough. Ever since I started to read philosophy, I feel like my mind has been opening up more and more. I can memorize things easier, i can think of more clever things to say in the moment, i can understand more complex problems than ever before, etc. That started this summer, along with gaining more confidence with women (first date in literal years next wednesday with a fit chick that reads). Also been dressing up way better than being a slob. I guess it all started when I realized that life isn't forever when my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in april, and I decided to make a change.

New thread
>>18794233

>>18794236
why do you make the thread so early? I wanna beat you up so bad

>>18794211
We've surpassed it, thankfully. We just don't need it anymore. We are now culturally at a more complex stage of comprehension of meaning.

>>18794125
>Never mind nations like China, that could power the whole damned planet, if they could find a positive and a negative on Mao's tomb.
Maybe that's how their thorium reactor works.

>>18794236
i appreciate the dbz images in the OP, they make me feel 16 again

>>18794042
quick rundown on doja cat and 4chan? was she just on /b/?

>>18787179
I don’t understand why it is so important that a woman shares superficial «interests» in some random hobbies with you. Sharing values and outlook is crucial on the other hand