/lit/ - Literature

i have talent and i am motivated to work at my writing. i am going to make it if it's the last thing i ever do in my life.

I want to write stuff for shit and giggles but I don't have the passion to do so. Part of it is also because the prose sounds decent in my head but whenever I try writing, it looks boring and very basic to me.

>>18626457
just hammer away at it, if only for your own sake

>>18626427
Knowledge can't be optained in this world. I'am waiting to die.

>>18626472
Also women's nature seems to be that of treacherous whores and should be avoided.

>>18626484
just view them as another cup that could break at any time

>>18626450
That's the spirit. I am no less than a conduit for the collective unconscious and am directly tapped into the spirit of the age.

>>18626472
>Knowledge can't be optained in this world.
How do you know that? Radical skepticism is necessarily self-contradicting.

>mfw tfw no gf just hit me like a truck

>>18626472
imagine sisyphus happy

I'm pretty sure I'm actually retarded.

>>18626581
>when you recall all that producer cock

>>18626427

i wanna have sex with yeji

>>18626427
Twinks.

>>18626427
God I love Asian women. I saw a 40yo Asian hooker and she looked younger than a 22yo white girl. White girls look busted by the time they’re 25. Asian women are beautiful. They have thick soft skin, beautiful black silky hair and they have a very attractive scent.

>>18626484
>seems to
It is

>>18626427
>bathing in the ambient blue light of his iPhone SE screen, tommy tapped the thread with the Asian qts. He had been in Thailand for 6 months, Asian qts was simply all he knew.
“Which kpop group is that,” he thought to himself; enlarging the photo to study their faces.
>a mixture of dull excitement and forlorn formed swirled in Tommy’s brain. He knew that having sex with any of these cuties would bring him to the euphoria of a heroin users first high. However, such thoughts were overshadowed by the vague knowledge that these cuties would want nothing to do with him. Tommy was a 30 year old where guy, and though his eyes still exuded youth and vitality, his skin still soft and taught, his hairline had retreated; betraying his otherwise youthful face.
>leering slightly as he flipped through the other posters, he felt disappointed. Nobody had really taken up the OPs request. He rubbed his tongue along the backs of his teeth, where the gums had receded from neglect and abuse.
“The whole dentist industry is a kike scam anyway,” he thought to himself. A quiet, singular chuckle escaped him.
“Let’s see if these chumps can outdo my literary prowess. I bet it’ll be a big fat fucking “nope.”
>with that, Tommy finished his post, confident that nobody would be able to outdo him; he had read too many books.

The Asian woman is superior for breeding

Me liking japanese legs

former doomer now bloomer AMA

Post all of your thoughts and inner monologues here : >>18612108.

This anon (>>18627281, >>18627336) already did that.

>>18627495
How did you do it?
I'm feeling particularly blackpilled tonight

>>18627509
I don't have any inner monologues. Do people unironically have voices inside their heads when they are thinking things? How do they think things that can't be named or defined properly?

>>18627516
I had sex with one hundred Asian hookers and it fixed all my problems

>>18627531
That's not bloomer, that's coomer

>>18627528
Don't worry, Anon. Just click on the link and type anything you want. Be free.

And don't forget to pick up the latest example of You Should Kill Yourself Magazine. They have a special edition on the 1998 Capitol Shooting, that killed police officer James James and Maria Lopez, a McDonald's waitress.

The air is nearly 100% moisture in the ocean.

>>18627516
im not this anon>>18627531
anyway, one of the main things i did that i dont usually see when people talk about getting out of depressive episodes (i.e food exercise socialization etc) is avoiding music/literature/media that associate with those thoughts. i have a lot of negative/somber/melancholy books, music, and even friends as well, so i distanced myself from those things and just let myself exist in a neutral vacuum, if that makes sense. it helps.

>>18627569
How will that cure tfw no gf and being as good as friendless?
I can fix the first but I've become socially retarded over the years. And to top it off I don't look forward to working for the next 40+ years.

I listen to optimistic music but I guess I do read some depressing books and occasionally a sad movie. I doubt that's what keeping me down. I do remember watching the first two Rocky movies to get pumped for a party I was going to years ago. It was a tip I did get from a book and it seemed to work okay. But hard to know if that's what made the difference.

>>18627605
>no g
Bloomer here, you don’t need a gf when you have Asian prostitutes to enjoy

>>18627677
Stfu. They have no creativity to pass on to your children.Asian women were like insects with little bug eyes and no soul. The European woman sets the world standard for beauty, and contrary to popular myth, beauty is not some arbitrary thing based on cultural norms, it had objective qualities, or rather there exist objective qualities in the human form that other humans instinctively perceive as beautiful for reasons that are deep in nature itself.

>>18627724
See >>18627281

>>18627724
You write off-the-mark drivel like this and still wonder why you're friendless. No wonder you had to watch two entire movies back-to-back just to handle a social gathering. The problem isn't others; its your warped belief system. Fix yourself first.

>>18627752
I'm not that guy, gook lover.

If you think about it, Geocentrism is right from a special relativity standpoint, in that Earth is the center of the observable universe.
The divine light = c.
We know that things keep their secrets: the mystery of God or the mystery in the limitations of our tools to understand the world, whatever.
Eugene Vodolazkin's New Middle Ages is real in multiple levels.

>>18627724
Do not care about the yurop fetishism but
>Asian women were like insects with little bug eyes and no soul
is correct. I will never understand the yellow fever people ITT. Might as well get a robot.

This is my first post on this board. I come here to read people's opinions about books, because I have a lot of good ideas for novels and consider myself a strong writer. I have experienced a lot of unique things that I want to write about. I want to write something really good. But I am in school for engineering and don't have a lot of time to write. It scares to me to hear that some of the greatest works out there took 5+ years to write.

>>18626450
>>18626457
Also this

Trying to convince my friends to all go in on some property near the great lakes so we can ride out the apocalypse when it happens or at the very least live a comfy agrarian life

>>18627983
I’d do exactly that if I had money

>>18627983
Now is the worst time to buy property.

You can choose one of these magic wishes. Which do you choose?

1. $1000 every month for the rest of your life. It will take inflation in to account and currency collapses etc so it's safe.

2. For one day each month for the rest of your life you get access to an alternate dimension room where you can have sex with any one currently existing woman. She's a copy of the woman and magically attracted to you and nothing in the room affects real life. You can't profit from this or whatever.

>>18628107
Do I get to talk with her or is it just sex?

>>18628102
In certain areas I've seen prices starting to fall already. Whenever the bubble pops for real I want to have everyone on board

>>18628120

Yes, you can talk with her

>>18628144
If she retains habilities and other stuff. This alternate dimension room is probably priceless.

>>18628107
Option 2. $1,000 a month is handy to have, but won't give completely unique possibilities like the sex room

>>18628156
Basically a spend a day with any woman on Earth and she will do whatever you feel like it. You can learn practically anything.

>>18628107
I’ll take the $1000 a month. Can use that to pay for Asian prostitutes

>>18628107
numer 2 and how long do I get to be with her?

>>18628185

Just a day, unless you choose her another month. But it has to be the current version of her.

I'd probably choose option 2 as well. It does make a mockery of the 'disregard females acquire currency' cope.

My older sibling getting so fat saddens me more than it should

>>18627677
all white prostitutes are ugly based on my observations

if you are gonna fuck a prostitute you wanna fuck the south east asian ones from thailand and vietnam

>>18628177
But they'll be dirty whores you pay for an hour or so. With the sex room you can pick any famous asian you can think of and spend the day + she'll actually like you.

>>18628236
How much wagecucking do I have to do for one of these?

>>18628236
Guys this fantasy is beyond pathetic. She'll "actually like you" but she's not even real.

>>18628236
The prostitutes pretend to like me for 160 an hour and the Asian ones are usually pretty clean. Black and white hookers tend to be gross

>>18628228

>>18626427
when I read russian literature I habitually give the character's dialogue a russian accent. I try to just read it normally but I cant. I have tried giving them no accent (american in my case) and it doesn't sit right. if I try to imagine them speaking english with a russian accent it also doesn't seem right. why is this and does anyone else do this? my theory is that a lot of russian to english translations are done by anglos so they perhaps translate the dialogue in a "british" way?

>>18628263
habitually give the character's dialogue a BRITISH accent*
fuck I fucked that up

I’m joining the military soon and really don’t want to get the jab but it’s too late to back out now. Pray for me bros

>>18628280
gl in the army, anon. Write something about it while you are there.

>>18628298
Thanks anon. I’m actually going Air Force, hopefully i get to travel

>>18628247
It would be indistinguishable from reality, save from the knowledge that she's an automaton. But the experience you'd gain would be real, you'd grow more socially and sexually competent and you'd know what it's actually like to fuck say Jeongyeon.

I'll forever consider Soren as a brother, as an intimate friend. His words resonate with my life, this conclusions speak to me as the counseling of a friend I never had, one that truly understands my deeper soul, to whom I can be my true self with no fear of ridicule or negative criticism. And he died in 1855.

>>18626427

I do wonder if I should just stop writing snd devote myself to something else. I have other talents that I’m interested in. I just have no idea which path to take.

The Romans had it right when they considered actors and entertainers the lowest of the low and on par in status with slaves and criminals. Modern culture in its worship of celebrity and--worse--social media influencers has it precisely backwards.

>>18626427
kpop is trash

>>18628707
In case anyone wishes to inquiry about the roots of my anti-thespian sentiments it derives exactly from and in proportion with how much modern culture venerates them and conflates fame with authority. Everyday you see an actor or celebrity spouting some uninformed opinion and millions follow it as if it simply must be true because someone famous said it. Actress Jenny McCarthy promoted the claim that vaccines cause autism because obviously she is the most qualified to speak on the subject, and subsequently measles and other diseases made a comeback.

The matter is even more terrible for social media e-celebs, because they can more rapidly reach their audiences through technological pipelines.

And these people get paid too much and listened to too much and put on a pedestal. The Romans knew better and valued those who contributed to society and displayed veritas, the virtues uprightness, faithfulness, respect . They understood that entertainers were a kind of grifter and did nothing worth any high esteem.

>>18626427
Llor

I really hate the way I look but I don’t even know what to do about it.

>>18626427
Based flover chad

>>18628834
Bathe, shave, get a haircut, walk an hour a day, get clothes that fit

>>18628846
Already do all of that and more

>>18628834
Take some pictures and analyse what you don't like about it. Don't be too harsh on yourself too.
Then, for each thing, think what you can do to solve it. Of course there will be aspects outside of your control, but working on what you can already gives you a boost of confidence and self-esteem

>>18628993
Therapy. Maybe learn how to draw and draw a self-portrait. I'm not even joking, but you have to learn how to draw (as be able to see shapes in every fucking thing).

>>18628993
Maybe you have body dysmorphia then

>>18629008
And this will definitely change the way you view the world in a general manner. It can be pretty fucked up depending on how you deal with certain things. But lets say that people in general turn into works of art, and drawing someone seems like an intimate experience. At least at the start, because you probably get over it at a certain point otherwise people wouldn't feel ok drawing random models.

I'm getting into italian music now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enPOtYxUPDM

I'm so horny all the time. I can't go into public without drooling over all the pussy I see. I jack off three times a day but i'm never satisfied. I feel so fucking hopeless. I just want to stop being horny.

>>18629029
I'm going to masturbate now

>>18626427
I am wondering if raccoons have a mental model of the week to account for increased late night human activity on Friday and Saturday since they like to avoid us.

>>18629029
>>18628834
therapy for both of you

>>18629057
Is chronic hornieness a symptom of mental illness

>>18629061
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/compulsive-sexual-behavior/symptoms-causes/syc-20360434

got bashed for being gay

What even is a normie?
>>18629130
Good.

>>18629130
I dont believe that really happens

>>18629178
neither did I till I got bashed

>>18629064
Wow thats litterally me

>>18629130
>>18629250
Give details

Weed lowers the standards required for satisfaction, which enables satisfaction with less. Being satisfied, ones desires are temporarily eliminated, creating synthetic happiness. It is a voluntary embrace of an impoverished life through synthetic means.

Weed people eternally coping

>>18626450
Posts like this make me happy, and not just because it's Mr. Bones. I'm on page 112 now, mainly because I got lost in research studying the Xia dynasty (1728–1675 BC) and learning about the tyranny that ended it. It was pretty cool. Can't write about the ghosts of the past if you don't learn about them, and it's so hard to get a hold of BC era history. It's kind of crazy to imagine that even back then humans were really sophisticated and having wars and all sorts of stuff. I guess not a whole lot has really changed.
Any German speaking people past this line I apologize, I'm probably going to sound nutty. Forgive me.
So I was watching a stream with a native German speaker and although she knows English she's really keen on sharing her language and culture.
Now I've personally never seen a German native speaker before and all growing up Germans were the bad guys. I grew up in a military house and those soldiers that came before me fought so I wouldn't be speaking German today.
Every time I hear German, it's the bad guy...but you listen to this German native girl speaking and it causes this sort of dissonance. How can German people be evil if she's the sweetest thing in the candy shop? You know?
I mean German language isn't useless in America. In Pennsylvania there's a massive German speaking population and my moms last name has roots in German, and if I learned German I'd be an English native Japanese/German speaking polyglot. That would be cool.
It's just so taboo (the German language). Could you imagine growing up and seeing Germans as your enemy for like two decades and then falling in love with a German fräulein and going up to your elder family members and having your German wife teach your kids how to speak German so they'll be bilingual and say Guten tag?
That's so taboo that it's kind of hot.
God that probably sounds stupid but I embrace my cringe.

I want to write but every time I try it's either too noisy or I can't think of what to write or think everything I write sounds stupid and end up rewriting the same shit over and over and giving up

>>18629296
>t. 105 iq

i dont get how a transexual knows that they are a certain (opposite)gender. gender is defined as a social construction, and male/female gender roles are somewhat random and dependant on the culture you're in.

how can you tell if your behavior/brain is the opposite gender based on cultural gender norms that dont have anything to do with your sex, as defined by most liberals

>>18629332
Post a rebuttal then

>>18629431 I'm not the quoted anon
This is the same shit with alcohol, anon. FFS, are you that much of a brainlet? Drugs are mainly a problem for people who have a problem with them, some do just fine.

>>18629469
Failing to address the difference between artificially lowering your standards of acceptability with “drug problem”. You failed to address my point, kinda looking like you might be there brainlet here

>>18629333
They know about this logic hole. It's why they are pushing the non-binary shit instead now.

>you can't have your cake and eat it too
This phrase is still being said today but to anyone who's none the wiser it wouldn't make a lick of sense because why wouldn't you have a cake and eat it too? Is there an alternative to this phrase?

>>18629481
That is the thing with most drugs, anon. What the fuck are you talking about? Do you unironically think that people are fucking masochists? That they would buy drugs that make they feel like garbage? And have you ever seen how alcoholics usually live? It is basically the same. They feel amazing until everything starts going to shit.

>>18629481
But it is not like your life is fucked if you drink or smoke weed, anon. You are a fucking brainlet for thinking that.

>>18629498
I always thought it implied you can’t physically have cake after you have eaten it. So basically you either are holding it, or are eating or have eaten it, but not both

>>18629517
Then you might say: 'but one would definitely be better without any drugs.'

This is just a stupid moralistic discourse. Saying that people are better off without alcohol or whatever. People need to relax, anon. Don't be stupid.

>>18629520
Yes, that is technically what it means. But tell that to any random person they'll assume in order of action you have your cake and then eat it.

>>18629431
OK.
>>18629296
>Weed lowers the standards required for satisfaction, which enables satisfaction with less.
What standards? Whose standards? Which moral authority delineates the standards of satisfaction by which satisfaction is given a value judgment?
>Being satisfied, ones desires are temporarily eliminated, creating synthetic happiness
Nothing can happen that can't happen. The idea that we can somehow supercede natural law is fallacious. Anything that can occur is natural. Human beings are part of the larger, universal ecosystem. Additionally, "synthetic" is a term rooted in science and manufacturing, referencing the distinction between naturally OCCURRING materials and manufactured materials. It has no philosophical rigor in the way you use it.
>It is a voluntary embrace of an impoverished life through synthetic means.
See above. I didn't call you an idiot because you're wrong. I called you an idiot because nothing you wrote has an iota of rigor to it.

I actually enjoy working more than being at home nowadays. Staying inside is boring during the warm months. Working a seasonal job where you bid on projects is pretty solid, albeit physically exhausting at times. The pay is solid, plus I get almost the entire winter off to read and stay comfy.

>>18629541
Yeah. It’s just one of those phrases that has entered into everyday conversation despite being a little awkward

>>18629265
was being gay and got sucker punched and bashed while normies watched

>>18629589
wtf

Since when did the idea that COVID vaccines should, at the very least, be given to the elderly or people with autoimmune diseases suddenly turn into "every single person needs the vaccine or you are GOING TO FUCKING DIE"?

>>18629589
How does one 'be gay', were you kissing your boyfriend? Just dressed gaily?

A URL? Ultra Realistic Luddites smashing the digital biosphere with pixel digital cock and ball torture machines weaved into hammers. "They took our jobs, these machines!" they scream as the digitized man-children spout memetics endlessly from the comfort of concrete living pods! An endless spectacle! To not be born is best; second best, to die young.

The fucking Yanks lost again! Cock-sucking pinstriped faggots cost me 30 fucking bucks! So much for my shopping expedition to the Whole Foods; the blueberries will have to wait until my next paycheck to collide with the warm stench of my wife's Staten Island asshole. And I swear to fucking God, if my little bitch daughter is fucking around on that goddamned Wii U I stupidly bought her for Christmas, I will bash her fucking skull in. The noise from that goddamned plastic jap junk drives me to hysterics. Fucking cunts!

Equations? There's a reason I failed math in high-school. Numbers are the ultimate luciferian triumph; I refuse this conquest of intelligence. I desire to be an animal once more, unburdened by this suffocating consciousness! Damn your numbers, damn your tables, damn your postmodern absurdities! Give me sex, give me meat, give me the hunt!

>>18628107
>copy
Trash option, I want to teleport insufferable cunts to my rape lair and have them know it, feel it and be unable to do anything about it other than making them look absolutely schizo.

>>18629517
Quote where I said that smoking weed means your life is fucked.
>>18629535
Your right, I apologise for causing derision with a touchy subject, but I was on my mind.
>>18629544
What / Whose standards? Odd quesiton, who else experiences the effects of a drug but the user? Because only the user is effected don't you think its pretty obvious I am talking about the user's standards? I'll be more specific in case I lacked clarity: The standard of general satisfaction with life within the user.

Which moral authority establishes standards? Irrelevant quesiton. See my original statement. I said weed artificially lowers standards, which is true. If this is right or wrong is a separate discussion.

Metaphysical point: Not sure where you are going with this. Seems that you are denying my use of "synthetic" because you believe the correct perspective is some sort of determinist framework. What are you trying to say here? Do you think there is no distinction between genuine satisfaction and using drugs to feel the same? Are you really prepared to use this argument to maintain that there is no difference between placing electrodes on dopamine receptors and the happiness of a genuine smile?

Seems you are a novice in philosophy based on your objections.

>>18628304
Be very careful of being overpowered by men and/or groups and getting raped, even and especially if you're a male. Happens VERY frequently, and you'll be threatened with violence if you report it after.

>>18629589
Good. Fag.

Not sure how to write this but I'm just feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with life. I'm short and have poor social skills and I know that I'm seen as weak and boring. I go to uni I guess but my life is extremely unfulfilling and I feel like I have no means of fixing that. I haven't really gotten any memorable experiences and no creative hobbies appeal to me

>>18629734
You're like basically any other anon on this website. Here's the deal though, you can do something about it. Question is, can you actually commit yourself to doing it?
Have no social skills? Go check out clubs in your uni.
Weak? Go to the gym, I'm sure you're uni probably has one too. Another way to meet people as well.
Don't have any hobbies? Just try whatever comes first to you, don't quit before you actually get to it.

I'm Jewish and proud to be.

>>18627931
leave 4chan before its too late, this site will kill you in the end, if you refuse to leave then at least get a filter and block all images.

>>18627931
you're gonna make it anon. don't compare yourself to the literary greats, comparison is the thief of joy besides the world is not as it once was. everyone finds their own path and there is no right way.
so I can't give you specific advice when you should carve your own destiny. maybe consider a commonplace book to jot down brief ideas you sporadically think about or want to explore in greater depth later, might help so you can still make progress even if you're busy. remember it's a sprint and not a marathon and all that cliche jazz

>>18629643
>I apologise for causing derision
You use words like a two year old playing with Legos. I bet you don't think that the statement that it's an "odd quesiton" is a value judgment either. People will take you more seriously if you drop the self-gratifying pomo obfuscation and engage with arguments directly and in good faith.

>>18629739
I did try working out at home, but ended up losing motivation as my gains plateaud. I definitely need a gym with actual weights to keep this going. I was living at home since I'm a burger and living at uni costs too much but they're no longer offering online classes since covid isn't as dire anymore and they want their money. Life is just so boring but I'll do my best. Even the internet isn't fun anymore but I use it every day.
Unrelated thought but I was I could stay at a place with less light pollution. Seeing the milky way in the sky would be awesome. I remember wanting to be an astronaut when I was a kid

>>18629682
That's just rude

>>18629761
>Gets triggered, writes a screed of red herrings
> Accuses me of obfuscation in a reply where I explicity clarify my point
>Engage with arguments in good faith

Sounds like you should go for a smoke and cool off

>>18629620
my qt bf was hanging on my arm at a bar and a local degenerate didn't like it

I try to fuck a lot of women every week and when I get rejected I cast a juju spell on them to hit the wall at 28 at max speed but then I forget about it and the juju is undone
4chan is aids and I should stop coming here
Writing is gay if you have a lot to write
I greatly dislike the idea of death but I believe people I dislike don't

I don't like living with my parents or family for that matter. Not that I hate them or anything but it feels debilitating being with them. Maybe it has to do with being the youngest in the family but I feel like I still need to ask for permission to go out like a kid.

>>18629899
haha how is asking for permission real haha just don't ask for permission haha
faggot

>>18626427
The counter earth is spinning, dragging, pulls down then spins out, bitcoin halvings. Bitcoin having is geo-serendipity, decreased incentive is pained elasticity. Foster's Freeze is the turning point, Charlie Kirk at gun point. Boink.

>>18629816
You're too hung up on the argument, and you're neglecting what's being argued. You want to "win" the argument more than you want to participate in it, like most people. If you work hard enough on gaining a little more self awareness you will be able to recognize your posts as pure sophistry. Five or ten years ago I probably would have gone blow for blow with you. As it stands today, however, I really don't see the point in it. I made my rebuttal. You skirted around my main points and posted some ego driven schlock that didn't meet my personal standards for a serious reply. I've got writing to do.

>>18629917
I don't lol I'm an adult. The issue is that they still see me as a kid and whenever I do something out of my own choice they get pissy and I have to hear shit. Hell, even so much as taking the car for a drive can be a dicey thing. Ironically, I'm the only who drives the family car and puts fuel in it.

>>18629947
let me suck you papi.

>>18629947
based

I just want to tell you -- yes you reading this, that I love you. I really do feel love in my heart for you. Existence is an unfathomable puzzle we're all trying to work out before the board gets cleared and it's okay to make mistakes and regrettable decisions in the chaotic scramble to find footing in it all. You're no less of a person for stumbling in the turbulence.

I love you and I hope the next time we anonymously cross paths, you'll be doing even better than now.

Is it normal for a girl to look more beautiful when she doesn't smile? I think I'm on the verge of snaring a rather pretty girl. She's pretty enough when she smiles, but her photos when she isn't smiling are striking.

>>18630144
Yes, smiles usually look weird on photos.

I'm not very eloquent nor am I a good writer so I haven't been able to properly discuss this but I've recently developed a theory as to the nature of the universe. I was contemplating religion one day and dismissed the idea of a diety watching over our every move. I figured that a being who could have created the entire universe likely would be no more aware of us than we would be aware of the goings on on any particular atom in our body.

And, having recently read The Dark Tower by Stephen King, I began thinking on the topics of size and scale, and how they related to our existence. We often separate the macro and micro universes, and for understandable reasons. They exist on scales we couldn't possibly understand but we view them on a scale with us in the middle. the universe is a vast, unimaginably large expanse while the micro universe is infinitesimally small. But I think they are one in the same.

Imagine you were standing on the surface of an atom. or an electron, perhaps. What would the surface look like? feel like? would it be a completely uniform, flat surface on a kaleidoscopic background of bizarre colors and shapes, a la Antman? or would the surface be rough, broken up, perhaps even rocky?

Essentially, I realized that matter essentially stacks on itself, infinitely. two sides of the same coin. How is this even possible, you might ask? Well, that's where life comes in.

We are the vessels which perpetuate the universe, matter, and life itself. I believe that we exist within the brain of another living being. I unfortunately and admittedly lack the intellect to develop a full thesis on the subject
but the more I think it about it, the more it makes sense to me. How does something like the big bang occur? a life is born. Why does the universe expand, contrary to most of the laws of nature as we understand them? well, because of an outside force, the vessel we reside in growing up. As stars and the universe age and eventually die, so too does the brain and body of the being we inhabit. The inevitable heat death of the universe signals the death of the being we reside in.

Obviously there are still questions. Why does it work like this? how did the cycle begin? those are not questions anyone will ever be able to answer, but I think this theory DOES explain a lot about the nature of the universe and our place in it. perhaps that's even why we've never found any life outside of our own, in truth there really only needs to be one hub of life like Earth to perpetuate the cycle for infinite infinities, especially considering that it doesn't have to be a human for the theory to apply, we could very well exist within a cat or dog's brain and it would change literally nothing, the nature of matter would work largely the same.

I apologize if this was overly long or if I seemed to ramble, I have trouble properly explaining things, but I've thought about this for years and it's the only theory that truly makes sense to me.

>>18630144
fake smiles are the worst but genuine smiles, the ones that light up an entire face are one of the most beautiful things in the world.

>>18630051
Thanks, anon. I actually needed that. The other day I was in a lot of emotional pain and just driving around. I was thinking of killing myself, but then a car turned out in front of me. Plastered across the back of the window was a sticker that said DON'T GIVE UP, YOU'RE WORTH IT. It made me really, genuinely grateful and really fucking sad at the same time because nobody actually cares that much and that publicly until suicide has directly touched their life. I appreciate you, anon. I'll do my best to pay it forward.

>>18629947
pasta

took a 50mg adderall at 3pm (never taken study drugs before) to try and help with some fiction writing i've been doing.

it's been just under 12 hours now and the hours disappeared like nothing. as someone very easily distracted it's like other options just don't even enter into your mind. it's incredible. i only wrote 6753 words, but they were all new words, new scenes for a story i haven't broken new ground on in a long time, and some really good writing, i think. really was able to focus in and go deep on the dialogue, and visual the precise body language of each exchange in detial, which is not something i am usually good at or find myself focused on.

but this was just total focus. stopped for dinner only because i realized i was "burning out" a little bit, not becuase i felt hungry or wanted food, just because i noticed i was a little slower and objectively knew i should feed my body some nutrients, caffiene, sugar, and water.

i kind of feel worn out now and want to call it a night but im not sure i'll be able to sleep, so it's possible i keep writing all through the night.

in conclusion: what a crazy drug. can't believe we give this to kids. i've used a lot of different drugs before but never anything like this that hones me in so much. it was a really hard thing to imagine a drug giving me focus, because that's never really felt like a variable or artificially inducible thing like, say for instance, pleasure, or sleepines. focus feels like willpower, somehow seperate from pure biochemistry, but i guess this proves to me it's not. it feels, let me say, like a fucking superpower. it's going to be really hard not to want to use this again. i can see how people like hunter s. thompson got addicted to after having discovered its potential for writing.

my hope is that having 'broke ground' and found several new sparks of inspiration on this project the momentum will carry over into sobriety, without, of course, the superhuman endurance this drug has given me.

>>18626450
Are you a white male? If so you have zero chance. The industry will deliberately grind you down.

>Any books about being cool?Any books about having a lot of money? Any books about not being a NEET? Any books about having a nice cock? Any books about having a loving girlfriend? Any books about getting a girlfriend? Any books about killing my girlfriend? Any books about consoomers, boomers, and coomers? How do I read? Should I read this? Should I read that? What do I like? What do you like? Is this good? Do you like my stack of books? Can I see your stack? Can I fuck your stack? It’s the Jews, right? It’s the darkies, right? It’s the left, right? It’s the right, right?

looking at /lit/ it seems to be like having proper discussions has become almost completely impossible
like all boards /lit/ is becoming more and more filled with shitposters and /pol/tards who derail all threads with their worthless comments

what's the opinion of the other anons here?
do you think this board/site can still be saved or is it a lost cause?
what other alternatives for discussing literature do you use?

>>18629333
You're right, it doesn't make sense.
Trannies are opposed to feminists.
They in fact, just like conservos, push the gender norms and roles as being a strict separation of male and female. Masculine and feminine. Just in reverse! The T is gonna get kicked out of LGBT

Trannies and gays are warring factions!!!

>>18630510
i wonder what, if any, long term dangers its use poses for adults

>>18630554
Ah yes, you're totally right. I see the error in my ways now. I'll just give up and spend the rest of my life tilting at windmills on the internet.

>>18630510
Welcome to addiction

>>18630683
It's an amphetamine so short term from overuse can cause psychosis long term neurotoxicity

I am heavily invested in nvidia, tsm, aapl and msft since last May, and still wish for the tech sector to collapse even if that means my 23k + 14.5k gains go away with it.
I don't even know what got into me and opened the portfolio without believing in the benevolence of these companies. I think it was just greed and fear of missing on the bullrun. But it irks me.

I cannot cope with the lack of essence bros, how the fack are we even supposed to make a decent society over reason if we lack any natural order? "You cannot expect me to see him in the dark"
>"humm well sweetie, thats pretty relative you know? For me this is not dark, also i perceive myself as a chair and chairs have no responsabilities, plus, its all a social construct, die"

Better shallow and wide than deep.

>>18630717
off topic, but any long term effects with magic mushrooms?
google it, I know. I've tried to find this out but materials are scarce

>>18629779
If you're like me and don't have a functioning will, >>18629739 probably won't work so well. I think you have to reach a point where you weary of everything, turn off the computer, and pick up a book. I remember /lit/ told me to read The Book of Disquiet because I was going through some doomer phase and wanted to feel worse. It instead pulled me out of that rut. Still read it each night.

my tinnitus is fucking horrid this morning
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I cannot cope with the lack of essence bros, how are we even supposed to make a decent society over reason if we lack any natural order? "You cannot expect me to see him in the dark"
>"humm well sweetie, thats pretty relative you know? For me this is not dark, also i perceive myself as a chair and chairs have no responsabilities, plus, its all a social construct, die bigot"

It's literally impossible to agree with anyone in this wretched existence, i wish i was a plant, no words, no problems

>>18630796
>i wish i was a plant
you too?

I was so strong. Now I'm broken. I can't walk and it keeps getting worse. I'm no longer a provider or a net benefit to the people in my life but deadweight that needs to be sustsained by others. Being a cripple is in many ways worse than death

>>18630828
I would think your loved ones don't see you that way :(

I trained myself to stop being a socially awkward autist who couldn't speak to strangers. But now I fear I've overcorrected and ended up overtalkative and pushy. Trying to find the balance I need.

>>18630828
You were never strong anon, a single needle could ruin your mind.

i'm mr sterling's right hand arm man. im mr sterling everything. his confidante his best friend. his silly rabbit. his what. his silly rabbit. is that what he calls you. no

>>18630828
read the metamorphosis. not because it will help you but because you are probably in a unique position to feel its sorrow more deeply than almost anyone

>>18631151
"his HWHAT"

Whenever I check the news I read it as if it were fiction. Not to deny there is any truth to it, in the same way that "art imitates life" fiction can sometimes capture certain facets of reality. What's happened is that journalism and reporting have departed from each other completely as concepts and most journalists have become opinion writers. The internet seems to have accelerated this trend. And when they pick and choose what stories to report, they craft a narrative that pushes an ideology.

I have precisely zero faith that any of the major newspapers promote anything but what the handful of superrich owners of them directly tell them to push, nothing but a collage of politically motivated biases.

People might be tempted to blame Trump for deteriorating the public--or some section of the public's-- trust in journalism with his relentless attacks on the "free" (billionaire owned) press, but the fact is the press has done this to themselves. They've increasingly become an organ of a certain tired and dilapidated ideology

why do they say "start with the greeks" but not "start with the akkadians?"

I’m really tired of being tortured by nightmares every night. I woke up a while ago and I’m feeling very empty. I dreamt I was crossing this tunnel with two family members, and we were on some kind of long journey. But I was feeling desperate, I was agonizing. The suffering was such that I knew at that point it was impossible to keep living. I kept screaming from the pain but could not shed any tears. There was a mirror, and I would stare at my reflection and just beg for tears to come out, thinking that maybe they could provide some relief. All I can say is that I never felt anything like this when awoken. We kept walking. We came out of the tunnel and crossed very arid lands, with little vegetation. At one point I saw a cliff, at the bottom of which there was a muddy, dirty lake. I took a few steps back. Then I saw three very small children approaching the cliff, but was not physically able to stop them. I knew they would fall, and they all did, one by one, to their deaths. Then I woke up feeling like shit

at least i am safe inside my mind

>>18629333
They don’t know. It’s literally just labeling and self-identification. The movement at this point is a project of liberal narcissism and doesn’t make any rational sense when you think about it for long. For the most part, it’s just people (mostly teenagers) labeling themselves differently so they can abstractly be a part of the LGBT and get oppression status.

>>18626427
damn these girls are hot

>>18629333
Because Gender is Biologically Innate for humans just as in every species known to exist?

I'm struggling to find a new roommate and new apartment and its stressing me the fuck out. I think I'm gonna go with one lead I have where I would have 3 other roommates which is a big con.

I don't want to work anymore.

I'm tired of grandiose fantasies, I will never be a poet.
I will focus my energy on making a video game. I think I can tackle the medium in novel and interesting way (unlike poetry).
I just need to learn how to be humble. I still see game developing as kind of a pitiful endeavour (even though I grew up with video games). But without predecessors I truly admire, I won't need to struggle with the anxiety of living in the shadows of truly great artists.

>>18632018
send me a copy of the game when you're done anon!

I wish my penis was thicker and also longer.

>>18632018
Yeah but see the problem is that without those grandiose fantasies, I have nothing.

>>18632134
I love thick and long cocks... I'm so obsessed want one in my mouth right now... Sorry your post reminded me of the fact

>>18632167
Nobody wants my short and thin weiner :(

How am I supposed to choose between two fields of study if I want to do both?

>>18631990
too bad. you have to contribute to society, grow the fuck up you whiny entitled princess

>>18632225
Who's whining here, double nigger?
I was asked what was on my mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdFUGpvH-ss

>>18631990
you'll work until you're dead and you'll thank your boss for the opportunity

>>18632278
Sounds like your future, not mine

who is making these retarded wojak memes

Church was pog today

>>18632321
someone saw shroomjak and wanted to rehash it
fucking hate how there's barely any originality any more, people just fucking rehash the same jokes until they die

>>18632333

>>18632228
your mind is bratty

>>18632331
zoomer larper

>>18632363
And what about yours?
You act like I personally attacked you. Must have hit a nerve. Are you a wage slave coping?

Cooming is the worst corruption of mental energy.

>>18632372
no im shitposting from a new york city bathroom

Everything in the modern world is so cheap and transactional. I fucking hate it.

>>18632593
yup

So nothing has changed at all..

Any books that will turn me magically from a quiet cold hearted brain-man to an extroverted big-grinned never-do-well?

I feel a rising anxiety that I haven't felt for a long time. The fear that I will never be what I desire to be is equally mixed with the understanding that I only have a dim reflection of what I aspire too.

I hate my mind soul and body reeeeeeee

If I had talent in poetry, I would write a "Four Quartets" for the four fundamental interactions (plus a fifth one, following T.S Eliot's structure - quintessence if you will). I think that there is a lot to be explored here on a deeper level than just science wanking.
Strong force = identity and heterogeneity = earth
Gravity = cohesion, perception of time (days, seasons, phases of the moon), baseness (pulling from Weil) = water (a bit arbitrary, but images of the ebb and flow of the ocean, of rain falling come to mind)
Electromagnetism = boundaries, causality, perception = wind? (don't like this one at all, but there isn't really any other option lol)
Weak force = decay, transformation, contingency = fire

God I need some bbc

I have a problem of disconnection from the world, from myself and from other people. I feel like my emotions are not truly emotions but rather just me pretending to feel to then showing it as an performance. The words might touch the string and invoke an emotional response but it doesnt penetrate the depths of me. Maybe im looking for something which doesnt exist in the first place, the philosophers stone which would elevate my soul.

I’m investing a lot of time into writing and another creative pursuit and I’ve realized that if I ever want to be good at either of them, I need to focus on just one. But I don’t know how to choose. What can I do to figure out which one is better for me?

>>18628107
Two.

>>18628107
1.
Option 2 sounds nice but at the end of the day it’s going to feel empty and it’s not going to help me live a better life.

>>18633066
Who are you?

>>18632331
kek

>>18632647
if only books had such power

>>18632647
Maybe but you'd need to read all the books in world to find one.

Patience.
Victory is inevitable. Balance will be restored.
The wicked will suffer and Greatness will be treated with respect.

I'm on highway to hell

im a really good writer

Nine little chinks sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G. First comes love, then comes marriage. Slant eyed bitches gonna make me COOOOOOOOOM!!

Wait. There is no captcha when trying to start a new thread. So how are you supposed to start a new thread?

Why knowing that life and world has no inherent meaning (according to camus) doesnt liberate me at all?

I love you. Yes, you. Anon, I love you.

i told myself i should read more and i haven't read a single thing

>it's not coming home

i shredded my journal from the past year in a fit of rage

such a waste of time

Really though. How do I start a new thread if there’s no captcha?

i'm gonna post some translations from my favourite poet-songwriter. let me know if it's any good or just ESL mumbo jumbo

I
We are - the way we are
We were - the way we used to be
This truth let us bear
In this moment given to us

We'll be - the way we wish to be
We just need to know - what to wish for
But - we know not - what we do not know
So we have not - what we wish to have

We could - what was not allowed
What was allowed - we do not care to can
We prefer yoke over freedom
Without walls to bang on our heads on

So we'll be - the way we used to be
So we are - and it feels like we're gone
In this moment given to us
That tomorrow shall be gone either way

After finishing my master's program a while ago, the first thought that crossed my mind was "I'm never putting a foot into academia again". While I won't be going for a PhD anytime soon, I'm thinking about trying some undergrad physics classes. Maybe not even oficially attend a course yet, just pick some random introductory classes and go for it.
I "lost" my interest in physics after I failed to qualify for the Astronomy Olympiad during high school as a cope basically (I can be petty and insecure when it comes to my intelligence, I'm still like this in a lot of ways). But now I got back into it on my own terms after buying a telescope with my first salary (I was going to get a video game or something, but I stumbled upon an optic instruments shop thing and bought one on a whim). I think I would have fun learning without the pressure of performing to build up an academic career.
Plus, I need some friends. I moved back to my hometown after 6 years of study elsewhere (I now work remotely) and I don't know anyone here. The friends I had before moving out have moved out themselves. I could go for something more common like attending foreign language classes or whatever, but I like the undergrad student "profile" (graduate students are awful in comparison and I in my experience, communities formed around hobbies are always shit).

How do you choose what you want to do with your life from a selection of possible paths when you don’t know which path will ultimately be right for you?

>>18626427
Spaghetti and meatballs
Tits
Tits
Tits

Im fucking tired of you niggers, tired of 4chan, tired of television, media, internet relationships, nothing feels genuine,I want to join an online meeting of the neurotics anonymous, but I'll have to wait until tuesday because I overslept yesterday, I want to rant and listen to them and cry like a little bitch and pour my heart out, I feel lonely, Ive felt like this for my whole life and I don't think that will ever change, I want to write my architecture/urban planning graduation thesis on loneliness and the built environment, but I feel like I wont do the theme justice, I've never read something that explored this theme, I want to make something meaningful to compensate for the rest of my graduation.

>>18633981
Self-abandonment to Divine Providence

>>18626581
who upset dubu :(

>>18634109
play a gacha game

An unexpected thunderstorm today that knocked the power out of my house for just a few hours made me realize how pathetic my life is

>>18632640
I just had one of the dark days. You know, the days when you feel like nothing makes sense and nothing means anything in particular at the same time. It is hard going through it, even it is not one of the darkest one I've had.

I wish I was able to trust people again.

>>18632109
I spent the day looking up resources and planning, and this will sound extremely autistic, but I have a cool vision for a simple Minecraft mod that I can handle as my first project.
My initial idea is to make a Latin didactic poem styled in-game manual describing physical (mostly astronomical) phenomena that I will introduce to the game. You will have to search or create the right conditions and fabricate tools to see them and that's the only hook of the mod. No utility, just seeing fun stuff and exploring/experimenting. I think it is a somewhat novel concept, I will be able to practice multiple crafts I want to develop and it is for sure something I'd play myself. It is for sure not the high culture magnum opus I sometimes dream of creating, but it is a cool project I will have fun developing that will actually teach me a lot. I'm actually excited for this.
If everything goes well, I can see myself making a full game with this kind of concept in the future.

going to a massage parlour tomorrow, can't stand tfw no sucky sucky any longer

>>18626427
I just had a horrific thought. In the event I'm on my deathbed, no woman will be rushing to my bedside to help me to the other side. I'll have to make the great journey on my own.

>>18634615
We all make the journey on our own. As it should be.

>>18633981
do a bunch of different things with little to no commitment and see what sticks. see what you are good at and naturally fulfilled in, see where others latch onto you, respect you, and come to depend on you.

>>18634743
note: this is not a quick process. it likely never ends. don't get me wrong my life is not perfect. but i have moments where my life seems so perfectly ordered, everything leading me to where i am now, surrounded by people i love and respect, and out doing something i feel in my own small way, meant to do. and you really do believe in a god or tao or some higher principle gently guiding you through the misery to where you are meant to be. maybe not everyone is so lucky as me in that.

>>18626427
A fly came in through the window and he he is extremely agitated, he's buzzing around manically, probably aflame with instincts telling him he has like 7 hours left to live and needs to find a mate, or whatever the situation is for flies, but this strange artificial environment has defeated him, the lamp is particularly appealing apparently.

>>18634615
…Yet :)

>>18630510
not that anyone cares, an update: i tried to see to what extent i could reproduce yesterday's workflow, having nothing on the schedule for the day, and got about 2000 words in just over 4 hours of solid work, but really started to burn out after that. which is good, definitely not bad for an average day of writing. but just way harder to concentrate. and feeling my brain overworked and impatient now, really hard to hone in on the little details.

i just want that adderall focus and stamina again, but really don't want to make it a habit.

the other thing is i was having this weird synesthesia effect writing yesterday where i could kind of feel a momentum in the words i was writing, like a sixth sense by which to measure my writing by, that didn't seem to correspond to the content or form of the words in any way coherently. it was really like this sixth-sense-o-meter that told me what "direction" a given sentence was going. and there's been a weird little bit of that lingering today. kind of cool. but sort of distracting too.

moral of the story is study drugs fucking WORK for creative writing.

I’m going to be real with you guys I feel like I’m not the person I was 6 years ago.
I’m in the middle of finals and put on some YT to decompress after studying. It hit me when I was watching a video about video games, old games that I played years ago and it hit me how childish they really were.
I used vidya to cope because my life was really shit in 2015 (parents were divorcing, I was bullied in school and failing my classes, stuff like that) and used them as escapism.
I graduated HS, now I’m on my last year of college and so much stuff happened since then, got into film, fit and lit and went down the redpill rabbit hole.
Looking back it’s like I was living in an entirely different world, mostly because I wanted to escape in fantasy worlds.
Now I’m trying to get back into vidya but it’s feels so strange to be exposed to the complexities of the real world that a simulated one feels too underdeveloped to be satisfying.
Guess that’s what we call growing up.
Thanks for reading my blogpost.

>>18629309
the sheer irony of it all is that probably half of white americans have german ancestry
Heck my granddad told me that old cliche "if we didn't stop the nazis we'd be speaking german right now", despite the fact that his side of the family immigrated from Bavaria in the mid-1800's

>>18634615
Death for everyone will be interesting I think. For some it'll be in your sleep, you won't suffer or anything, you just won't wake back up. Your life alarm clock just won't go off.
For some they die screaming for their mother, or some other duress. Some people may ask for death as a mercy to some perceived problem, permanent or temporary.
On the other end of that spectrum, many great rulers were buried with their servants (Egypt, Chinese terracotta warriors etc) in order to maintain status and be cared for.
Most of us don't get to choose, but it'll happen to all of us. I like to think someone I loved will be waiting for me on the other side that passed before me, but my research shows that I may not even realize I will be dead unless I was in a lot of pain prior to dying and was suddenly healed.
It's so fun to think about. You know what they say about cemeteries; everyone's dying to go there at some point!

I enjoy worldbuilding, creating plots and even writting down some the lore and short stories. It's a hobby I kinda want to delve more into but the problem is that I actually don't like reading at all. I used to enjoy reading but somewhere along the way that part of my brain broke or something and now I can't really read anything without getting immediately bored or extremely sleepy (books that is). Everywhere I look it says I need to read a lot, and saying I like to write when I don't even like to read makes me feel like some kind of poser. Last thing I managed to read to completion was some Lovecraft but even then I found it difficult to get trough the parts where he goes on long descriptions of the place. How do I deal with this tier of autistic cognitive dissonance bros?

>>18634858
don't make it a habit. the come down straight up sucks. it could have been because I was depressed regardless but it's been 9 months since i used addy and I still don't feel quite the same. and I only used it on and off for like 3 or 4 months

>>18634908
Go to /tg/

>>18634882
It's kind of funny, if I wasn't deaf I would have gone into the military when I came of age, but my dads side is from England and my moms is German but they never ever talk about World War II or ancestry or whatever. My grandma has a book and shows how every one of my ancestors was up to about 1600 (English side was a royal loyalist soldier as far back as it goes.)
Feels kind of bad to break the line but I can't do anything about it, but my dad was a Marine and never killed anyone. Maybe the reason my lineage survived is either A they're really good at war or B really good at keeping their head down when the axe is swinging. They didn't exactly keep really good records.
I'm a love child of people that like to fight tooth and nail. Maybe that's why the German language gives me heart flutters. Who knows. Life is weird. I'm weird. I'm alive. Let's go.

>>18634908
idk how old you are or how set in your ways

i got super "interested" in literature around 18 19 when i had no attention span to read or actually fill any of my stories out but was obsessed with writing and had to really force myself to read and relearn how it's done in order to naturally enjoy it and draw similar pleasures from reading as i would from writing, if at times only as a peak behind the scenes of someone else's craft and an improvement of my own. i began to view writers as my equals and peers and take books apart the way i'd have written them, and then storing what did and didn't work for me from each on a shelf somewhere in my brain for later use in my own work.

maybe that doesn't help at all
>>18634931
this seems like a good second bet. hard literature is not the only route for writers.

>>18634931
>>18634971
I'm in my early 20s and not set at all. Your way of going about it sounds interesting I might try and work towards it, maybe changing how I see reading entirely is the key to enjoying it again. Funnily enough my interest in worldbuilding got a huge boost when I played dnd a few years back but eventually I found just creating something for rpg systems got kinda boring and I mutch rather just make my own brand of cringe without having to take into consideration classes and mechanics and whatnot.

But what exactly do you mean by hard literature in this case, what other kind of writing is there, does it include children's books, short stories, just writing settings?

Sometimes I get confused about my often contradictory and conflicting political beliefs and values. I feel the entirely spooked pull of the "political spectrum" which is ultimately a reified illusion. I ask myself, in moments where I have lost my nerve, "which side am I on?" As if there were concrete, definite, absolute "sides" in the first place. When in reality the political spectrum is preexisting grid-like system into which individual's beliefs and attitudes must be pigeonholed and slotted. It is nothing more than the scattershot distribution of individuals beliefs and values, it is shaped around what people choose to believe; it is not that what people believe must "pick a side
of some pre-established disharmony. In other words my own thought trumps and supersedes the political spectrum entirely, for me there is no such thing as left wing or right wing, there are only my thoughts, and if others happen to see them as left wing or right wing so much the worse for them. They want to rope you into own little games.

Ultimately politics is just the transmutation of rather arbitrary feelings and impulses into a rationalized conceptual structure. It is nerve reflexes and reactions given an extra coat of verbal paint. Do my feelings have a political alignment? No. It is political alignments that obey whims, not the other way around, once the whole thing is properly understood.

In the last analysis this the most liberating and true attitude toward politics. This isn't to say that I am apolitical and anything goes, only that I owe no one anything. From my perspective there are no sides to pick, no teams, only independent values or concepts which I either approve or disapprove of. There is no reason why the left or right should claim exclusive ownership over one or the other, and insist that you cannot value what is here a right and there a left value. There are no right or left values. Egoism is the only way to be free of the cancer of politiics and make it do your bidding.

>>18635096
>When in reality the political spectrum is
*isn't
highly significant typo . Typos are spooks.

I grow more and more deranged every single fucking day, I can contain it but at what cost.
I grow stressed, desperate, pessimistic, angry, I want to kill animals for fun, I can't kill the family pets but I CAN DO STRAYS.
I want to kill, I want to eat them, every single day I grow deranged, I'm not a real person anymore, no, I live on habit, my anger is not enough, all my emotions are fake.

I wrote something for this thread, but I actually like it enough that I think I'll expand on it and try submitting it somewhere as flash fiction. Hopefully I can find a way to double the wordcount.

I am skeptical of this notion of "empowerment" you hear so much of. If only the weak and downcast were "empowered" they'd suddenly start making moves and the world would enter their orbit. When an equally plausible hypothesis is that they lack power precisely because they lack some inner capacity to make what they want happen. "We need to empower x [women, minorities, etc]!" they say, but what are you really doing? You are giving those with a capacity to do something with themselves a chance. You are not sending rays of raw power into them like an electric charge which will make those among them with no redeeming qualities more capable. People think too much in terms of the category.

It gets even more cute when you consider that "money is power" why not empower all the poor with more money? Or, why not empower the stupid with more intelligence? You cannot empower the stupid with intelligence, you can educate, but all the education in the world either hits a brick wall or merges and interacts with the bright and living potential of a promising mind. To "empower" is to claim you know what's best, it is a condescending gesture, as though you in all your glory posses all the power and are a saint for bestowing but hint of it on the wretched of the earth.

>>18635139
I had a terrible dream where I was ripping about foster kittens, like grabbing them and twisting their heads off. Throwing them against the ground, and their cries, their cries as I had to finish them off. I am not sure why I had the dream, but we just got a new kitten to foster and I didn't really want to take care of it. I had crushed baby birds I have found in nests in my hands just because I was bored. Then I tossed it back in the nest with its brothers. Put a turtle in a fire and cooked it alive. I don't feel like my actions are totally abnormal, but whenever I broach the subject with trusted friends, even they seem to be put off. But I think such sociopathic acts are common and just a result of my utter boredom with life.

toasts are so good, it is like this shit couldn't even be real.

>>18635330
I hope that if the soul of man is immortal, that the person who invented butter is doing great at this moment. Otherwise, get your well deserved rest.

>>18635338
Wouldst though like the taste of butter

>>18635347
Goddamn autocorrect ruining my meme post

>>18635347
What? I love toasts, anon.

>>18635359
Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

>>18635386
No, I'm ok with things the way they are, don't want any new shit to figure out.

>>18635394
Good instincts enjoy your toasts

>>18632338
where do you find soul today? I won’t accept nowhere

Easy to forget that health is all we have. I'm in the midst of a GERD flare up and all I wish is for a good night's sleep. I can only think about how weak I was to remain eating without precaution after I had a mild flare up less than 2 weeks ago. Within a few days I was back to drinking and smoking and having multiple cups of tea a day. I can throw out the drink and smoke but the tea I miss dearly. I should know by now that my whole family suffers from stomach issues and that precautions should be taken more seriously. Anyway I'm here, suffering. Anons, be eat and drink with precaution. Lift and run and sleep well.

>>18635494
That is a bitch, you try any of the radical meme diets? I know they're mostly dumb but they seem to help certain people

>>18635494
Yes, I don't drink anymore, and I'm quitting smoking.

>>18635494
I had, and occasionally still have similar problems. It's amazing how quickly you can burn through your youth. Quitting smoking and losing some weight did most of the work, although I am still plagued by drink which causes devastation throughout the body but which alas seems to be bonded to the DNA of humanity. Exercise, I am sure, is the cure for everything, and I often wish I would be force marched a 1000 miles to grind away every last fragment of weakness and inertia that afflicts me or die along the way.

>>18626427
FINALLY FREE

Wow. Christianity is darker and grittier then I thought it was. Yes, don't get me wrong, there is genuine real hope and joy at its center, but if you actually read into it as reality.......it is dark.

i cant believe there are so many retards on /x/ that believe they can perform magic

>>18635515
based me too

>>18635640
Most people think that religion is just surface level happy aphorisms and folk wisdom, but if you look into it most religion is really doomer-ism taken to its most extreme levels while still glimpsing the slight possibility of grace.

nah this fucking weather is pissing me off to no end. Its the fucking middle of July, why is it raining 5 days out of 7

>>18635705
Christianity somehow is the most hopeful yet also the darkest

the worst part of work from home ending is not being able to take a shit whenever you want. now i have to get back on to a schedule of a shitting in the morning which is a pain in the ass.

>>18635726
Considerations like these make me long desperately for a COVID-20. Comrade COVID did more to rattle the foundations of capitalism than capitalism has done to itself since the 1930s.

>>18635745
yeah all these massive gains are rattling my stock portfolio alright lmao

Get home tonight, smell something a bit off so start sniffing around the kitchen to find the source. Turns out I put a pot of chili in the oven instead of the freezer as I had intended, was in a rush that day and I guess... Anyways, it has been too hot to cook much for the past couple weeks and I have be using the grill for cooking, so it sat in the oven which turns out to be very good at sealing in odors, undisturbed in 90 degree heat happily growing away for two weeks. The smell was fairly horrific when I opened the oven. Figure I would let the lake take care of it and scrub the pot with sand while I am at it. So down to the lake I go, add some water and stir it around to get as much out as possible, go to fling it out into the water and a good gust of wind comes up mid swing. About half of it came right back at me and got me dead on. Great night for a swim at least. Took a shower as well just for good measure.

I'm eccentric and neurodivergent. I don't suck my own dick over it but I'm exceptional in a lot of ways. Dating is fucking hard. That said, if I am working hard at bettering myself and do my best to be a decent person, is there any point in not telling myself I'm a catch? Maybe not for everyone, but for a very specific kind of person who's looking for another specific kind of person, is that something that's rational to internalize?

>>18634880
You're on /lit/, just read more instead of playing. Playing is also fine but reading offers more in the long run.

My job is so fucking boring and now excruciating, lads. Life would be hell if it wasn't for remote working.

It's an easy as fuck paper pusher job but my awful female manager is due to give me a bad review solely because I'm not a normieclone. And in preparation for all reviews you need to have meetings with HR to discuss standards and other things and the HR woman is the most excruciatingly stereotypically vapid retard.

I'm reading these work standards as well and it's sickening to read this nonsense. It seems that all performance reviews are going to be based on emotions, signalling, vapid displays of networking, etc.

Is it this bad everywhere? I can see how vapid women would create an environment like this. But I don't know whether the typical normie thinks this is fine. Are they all a massive hivemind are can anyone else see how BS this all is?

AND I’VE BECOME BITTER!

>>18633070
Perhaps you're just a broken person and there's no cure for it.

I took an online IQ test recently—the MENSA one that lasts 25 minutes—and scored 115. That doesn't sound very high to me but apparently it's the minimum you need to be (possibly) highly intelligent. I have no illusion about the nature of IQ tests, and intelligence is beyond quantifying in a single number, etc. etc., but if you're skilled at pattern recognition like that, perhaps it opens up avenues you might not know exist.

Also, thought habits are important. Let's say you're playing a puzzle game, and you take a long time to solve the puzzle because you waste time scanning every dimension of the puzzle instead of honing in on the parts that contain the solution. I find myself doing that a lot. Recently, I gave up on a puzzle, and saw that the solution was exactly where I thought it would be, but I missed one small detail while inspecting it so I wasted like 20 minutes on other shit that was totally unrelated.

The point is, am I less intelligent for wasting all that time on other stuff? Or is it just a bad habit unrelated to my intelligence? Could we train all people—including people with low reported IQ—to be good at puzzle solving by teaching them how to think more effectively? And if they can successfully do this, are they really dumb?

>>18636410
Hehe my IQ is higher than yours.

>>18636410
iqlet :)

>>18627276
<3

I just watched a 41 year old man with a wife and 3 children eat about 40 raw shrooms with chicken salt then put three tabs of lsd in his mouth before ripping a huge cone of dmt and almost passing out.

>>18636414
Did you take the MENSA one? Honestly don't want to take it seriously unless it's a formal exam type thing, taking it quickly online feels half-assed and inaccurate

I wish I could just suck dicks all the time and have no life or responsibilities at all but I have to be an adult and read all this philosophy and study all this history and write all these articles and scripts and books and make all this fucking art and force myself have all these ideas but deep down I just want to fuck I'm so horny

>>18636437
Took a mensa IQ test at school and was put in the gifted program. Still a fuck up. It's mostly about pattern recognition and extrapolation.

Being told you're gifted can fuck with you such as in my case and some of my peers especially if you have role models with little to no work ethic, you think you can coast by on what you were born with but you really need to work on it to make anything of yourself.

Ever since pandemic started, the government implemented quarantine and students are advised to take their classes at home, preferably online. I'm too drained to continue nursing school online and facing the screen seems too tiresome and definitely not my method of learning. So tedious and costly, it made me dropped out and cut any communication with my former colleagues. How do I cope with this? It's been a year since I'm empty.

>cut
I mean avoid since I'm a bit paranoid whenever I see their display photos wearing smiles on the screen when receiving phone calls

>>18636526
I was in the gifted program too as a kid. My elementary school had two separate classrooms for gifted children and I always wanted to know how it worked, I got the feeling one classroom was more "advanced" than the other since they did a lot of building with k'nex and other games, while the classroom I was usually in did a ton of Einstein's riddle-type puzzles. Of course, the latter sounds more challenging than the former but the impression I got was that the kids in the former classroom were so advanced that they were free to just spend the school day playing games, while the rest of us still had to work.

I can relate to what you said though, I was a gigantic fuck up back then because I hated school work and literally just coasted all my primary education on natural intelligence alone. That sounds fun in theory, but in reality it was more like being a kid with absent parents who lacked the willpower to do homework, so you just played computer games every day after school and got in trouble the next day for not doing your work. When you're a kid, you really don't know better, you need someone to stand over you and force you to do certain things. I think a lot of teachers were disappointed in me because I clearly had some ability but I almost never used it.

>>18636552
>>18636543
stupid keyboard

>>18626427
I feel like shit because my coomer drunk brain went on a manic dawn street walk while my country still has curfew during said time. I walked on empty streets drunk stumbling upon sidewalks, taking a taxi and running back to my friend's house. I woke up with a slight hangover thinking about the fact that I could have died said night.

Couldn't cum in the bag with asian massage hooker the other day because I'm too used to jerking off dry. If I keep masturbating with a condom on and a lot of lube, I'll be able to blow my load fucking her next time.

I've been having chest pains for months now, feeling sick and going numb at the extremities. Eventually I became convinced that my heart was failing. I was really dreading the examination.
Turns out it was just trapped wind common in people with digestion issues, which I supposedly have.
The thing is, I also used to get these random feelings of anhedonic depression and the doctor believes it may because I have issues digesting sugar. Ever since reducing it, I feel like a new person (not obese by the way).
Makes me wonder if many people with depression actually have an underlying health issue.

>>18634906
What scares me is that there is no return to nothingness but it is just some passing to something else.

>be an autist
>using tinder and okcupid to practice talking with women and to just overcome my crazy anxiety at reaching out
>see profile
>9/10 mexicutie who types in broken ass English
>really into vedic philosophy and yoga
>works as a mortician
>has read all the upanishads, most of evola and guenon
>has aspergers
Bros... perfection actually exists...

>>18626427
How do I stop my homolust? I used to have a controllable lust but now I started to develop sentiments around this, like I do with women, so is no longer only a sexual thing. Also, being a homo is not an option.

>>18636610
>der if many people with depression actually have an underlying health issue
Most people with depression don't have the typical kind which was more common in history. The amount of people with depression has grown exponentially over recent decades as it's become a catch all for all kinds of vague dissatisfaction. Now it's much more likely that someone who has depression or anxiety in reality has
>A poor diet
>Terrible cardiopulmonary fitness
>No purpose in their work/life
>No human skin contact
>No long term community
They are sick animals but they're not experiencing the kind of depression which persists in the absence of a bad environment. Most of that kind of syndrome in animals would be considered problems of captivity.

>>18636751
>being a homo is not an option.
Being a homo is always an option

>>18636763
elaborate

>>18636800
There's good evidence that your sexual preferences aren't actually choices you make. There's even better evidence that, regardless of how much actual agency you have in choosing your sexual preferences, acting against them and forcing yourself to act against your sexual preferences is essentially a surefire recipe for a deep existential unhappiness.

>>18636758
I feel that what we call Treatment Resistant Depression is probably what would be the traditional kind historically, and this newer "depression" is not exactly the same thing. I'm not denying the latter is painful, but Treatment Resistant Depression is awful to a degree that very few people understand, and in a world where "I have crippling depression" is more or less a meme, it starts feeling impossible to convey the problem. Treatment Resistant Depression to me is encapsulated in stuff like the music of Giles Corey, or in an anecdote I read one time about a depressive who spent years fighting off suicidal urges every day. It basically ruins your life until it's healed, if it even can be healed.

The frustration here is that we use one word to cover all sorts of neurotransmitter related malfunctions, when some of them make your life pure hell while others are more of a temporary setback in an otherwise satisfying existence. When you have TRD you come to accept this issue, but it still doesn't stop almost everyone from misunderstanding exactly what's going on with you.

>>18636833
I am the one who asked the first question. The more you taste from passions, the harder it will be to quit and the less happier you will be. Apart from that, the chances of being a happy homo are very small, at least in my case since I am not attracted towards old and ugly males. What will happen after I reach the age of 30? Kill myself? This is not an option, I have to be the master of my body and mind but is difficult... I am aware that there is no answer to my question that can solve my problem or that I didn't knew before, but I just felt the need to tell someone how I feel...

I’m trying to watch a stream by jay dyer on the Amazon synod and I’m blown away by his level of arrogance and self importance. Every other sentence that comes out of his mouth is about a bunch of super obscure books that he’s read and a quip about he ‘knows what he’s talking about’. How do people watch this guy?

>>18636758
Interesting post, thank you.

>>18636909
Jay Dyer is a retard, everytime he debates someone he is interrupting him every two minutes. I really dislike ortho larpers.

>>18636887
Sounds like you've espoused some unrealistic and fanciful philosophy that you probably don't understand all that well.

>>18637011
Actually I am a christian and I tried to say it in a more philosophical way so you agnostics won't start seething.

>>18636887
Tastes and attractions can and do change over the course of one's life

>>18626427
>what's on your mind
feet
in my mouth
wrapped around my penis
covered in my cum
in my mouth again
feet

>>18637171
This is pretty sad, not going to lie.

>>18637199
footfags are a strange and tragic breed

Should young people even aspire to write serious literary fiction? Shouldn’t we just write stories we enjoy and find fun?

>>18637680
>>18637680
>>18637680
>>18637680
>>18637680

>>18637019
The God I know doesn't give a shit about whether you suck a dude's dick or not. The God I know cares about the things that really matter: how you treat other people, how closely you follow your calling, how hard you try to experience and understand the nature of his true nature ergo our own true natures and the nature of reality itself. I can't imagine subjecting myself to a doctrine that causes me to get caught up in silly shit like being gay. I have better shit to worry about. So do you, you just don't know it.

>>18637699
Is not about what God wants. Is about me, about my desires, having lust for women is also very bad. The goal is to reduce your desires as much as possible, doesn't matter if you have to quit being a homo or a drug addict. Sex with women is alright only as long as is for the sake of reproduction. Christians who deny this but are against homos are hypocrites. As I said, this abstention is not because God wants it without any reason, but because you can't go to the divine if your life is preoccupied with worldly things, like lust, for either men or women.

>>18634109
Volunteer.

After holding my cat's stiff dead body the crucifix looks different to me

bump

>>18637936
retard