/lit/ - Literature

>>18576552
I forgot how the moon traveled and told my friends it was impossible for the sun and moon to be up at the same time. The moon and sun were visible at the same time when I said that.

>>18576617
I was sitting outside a restaurant having a beer once, horse drawn carriage went by and a fella near me started to go on about how powerful a horse is and said
>just try and imagine how many horse power it is
I leaned over and told him it was exactly one horse power.

Was that you?

>>18576552
I don't remember. I say way too much stupid shit to pick from.
I once had to make a speech at school on a subject I genuinely could not care less about (etymology of several random words the teacher had chosen), so I rolled up to the board while singing "ooh ooh ooh ooh, stayin alive" and proceeded to groan in confusion for 7 minutes, sometimes managing to spit out a sentence and giggle like a stoner with a head trauma. Why did we have to go to the board and make a 7 minute long speech instead of just answering? I don't think the teacher knew, either.

>>18576642
Horses produce more than 1 horsepower

>>18576552
I said 'one day, I'll be older than you' to my brother. He laughed and asked me how, I saw his laugh and didn't have the heart to tell him he'll probably die sooner than me.
That's actually a good resume of our relationship till now, as he still thinks I'm retarded after all of these years.

I don't know, I say shit like that all the time. I don't do it as much as I used to, but it was not like I even cared about it. And a lot of shit was to mess with people too. I still to that, but I'm a bit more moderate on that. However, I still say things that I think that are stupid just to mess around with other people.

>>18576672
You'll literally never be older than him

"does midgets happen in gorillas?"

>>18576692
Yes, that's why I'm posting here. I could've told him it depends on how you see it though and could've saved a bit of honor by doing so.

"I know for sure that after you I won't be able to date another girl, you're the love of my life" and "I was saving my virginity waiting for you" to my ex gf (hs oneitis, knew her for like 7 years, dated 3, 2 living together).

Yes, I cringe everytime I remember it (and funny enough I always recall it when I'm fucking another girl). Don't be a loser dreamer like me bros.

>>18576670
Sort of, horse power really refers to sustained output, just because it is capable of more it would still be measured as 1hp since that is all it can sustain for a reasonable amount of time. And yes different breeds and individual horses can sustain more than 1hp for extended periods but that is besides the point of you being a pedantic moron.

"I think Tokyo is about the biggest city I'd wanna live in" while living in Tokyo
Tokyo is the biggest city.

>>18576766
Just because I run a 50hp motorcycle for 30 seconds at 10mph doesn't mean it is only capable of producing 5 horsepower. A horse will produce more than 1 horsepower.

In history class we were asked what were some of the disadvantages of a Mexican lake-city. Thinking about flooding I said, “if it rains, people will get wet”.

>I drank so much lemonade yesterday that I was literally peeing yellow

>>18576857
Yes, everone knows that, 1 hp is essentially the equivelent amount of work a horse can manage to do over a day, it does not need to be a constant output and nothing says it is. It was designed to literally rate what Watts engine could replicate, his 5 hp engine could do the same amount of work in a day as 5 horse. His 5 hp engine would have been perfectly capable of producing more than 5 hp but just like the horses, you wont get much of a working life if you do.

>>18576981
>over a day
Wrong wording, oh well. Not like it wouls make a difference.

I dont know

In history we had to guess the names of European flags
>anon what country does this fla belong to
>new england
>...anon new england is in America
Ive never been more embarrassed, i still remember the dead silence.

>In 4th Grade:
>Discussion about Jug Rock -
I ask if its named after the Juggernaut (X-Men)
>Endless mockery until recess.

>>18577004
yeah you do

Probably 'I can' and 'I can't'

>>18576552
"That 4chan place sounds interesting, I'll just take a quick look to see what it's like."

>>18576552
pronounced descartes as “dez car tez” on a date with a philosophy student
we still banged though

I do

>>18576552
Not talking to people in general I guess. Being asocial. It's what you don't say that screws you over.

>>18576552
I forgot it to protect my high opinion of myself.

>>18578816
"I did that" says Memory. "I could not have done that" says Pride. Eventually... Memory yields.
— N.

>>18578697
i was at a museum with a qt and i touched an open triptych to see what was on the other side, she was more embarrassed than me when two security guys started yelling at me as she went often to that museum, to this day i don't know why i did that

>>18578697
I used to mispronounce words quite often. I remember going to a music shop and asking about Cecilia Bartoli, but pronouncing it "Sess" instead of "Chech". The guy at the desk didn't subject me to savage humiliation, though. (Maybe he had read Marcus Aurelius. IIRC, one of the first maxims in Meditations says something like, "when someone mispronounces a word, don't correct him, because you will embarrass him. Instead, use the word yourself correctly in his hearing". Well done, Marcus!)

>>18578827
You were signalling to her your desire to touch forbidden things, obviously.

>>18576552
In one activity we did in science class we had to write a conclusion to it and I unironically said 'internal struggle'

>>18578697
No one worth shagging gives a shit if you mispronounce French names, on account of their phonology being an ass-backwards waste of time.

>>18576552
I remember when I was in 2nd grade
I read this book that said that there's a dirty word so dirty that if I heard it, my head would explode

I then went to my teacher and ask her what this word was
I remembered how she chuckled and rustled my hair and went "But your head would explode, we can't let that happen, now can we."
took me another 2 years to realize how cute I was being

>>18578879
i say stupid things every day - in fact, i'm kept up every night, waking bathed in my own sweat replaying my uncautious statements and feeble attempts to discern in conversation

>>18576727
Meanwhile, women round down about 99 bodies while you fret about one interaction. Don't worry fren. Cringe moments like these are tears in the rain

>>18578826
Nigger?

>>18578697
ITT the horse comes before Descartes

>>18578852
Damn Freud.

>>18576552
Back when I was 17 I made a case for solipsism very loudly in a public place. The worst part? I wasn't intoxicated, just autistic. People started staring once I finished.

>>18576552
I love you.

>>18578839
This

>>18576552
“I’m hearing a lot about this 4chan place
Maybe I should check it out.”

"At least blood doesn't flow out from my pussy"
I said this to a girl when i was small.Back then i thought it was a good way to shut her up.

>>18581688
kek

Many things.
One that comes to mind is when I was discussing music with a friend and I said something like, "It's great that you know those two notes sound good together, but you need to know WHY they sound good together."

>>18581688
>be me
>in 1st grade
>out on the playground, hanging out with the boyz climbing up the slide the wrong way n shit
>this DW from Arthur looking girl comes up to me talking shit about my goofy teeth
>wanted to throw hands but parents told me to not get in fights with girls
>say "I wish you were numb so I could punch you right now but it would be ok since you wouldnt feel it"
>ffw to 5th grade
>she has a crush on me and calls me on my flip phone after school all the time
girls are weird

I once described lobster as 'sophisticated chicken'
My brain processed how fucking stupid it was as I was saying it

>>18581739
this is cute

>>18576695
That's an interesting question though.
Do they?
What about other animals?
Or giganticism?
Imagine a blue whale that was a giant version.

>>18576552
"Husserl was always a realist."
Even wrote my final exam defending it.
The teacher went very lenient and scored me for the argument I think, not the comprehension. "You are possibly defending this thesis harder than you ought to." was his only note, kek.

I had like a month long period in 8th grade where I spoke in the third person.
Fucking kill me.

>>18581780
Do you actually have a good understanding of Husserl because I need help learning about him. If you do can you explain what ontological categories are for him? To my knowledge he claims phenomenology is when we encounter phenomena without interpretation like that of the natural sciences to determine apriori truths about beings using our conscious but what exactly are these categories and truths we learn and how do we do that

>>18576552
I had a vision of life as the eternal dancefloor at a nightclub. You are there with an endless number of other dancers, and you can leave the nightclub, but you won't be allowed back in-- and come to think of it, you don't remember how you even got there in the first place, much less what lies outside the door. People bunch about and fight and embrace, attempt to pull off this and that move, mostly imitating mostly forgotten dancers who had first innovated the steps, while a select few take it upon themselves to reconsider the possibilities of how one can dance on this floor. If enough glances are thrown in the direction of these upstarts, they begin to affect the mindspace of others, and parts of the dance take on a new form. Pessimists and life-denying ascetics do the dance with the shortest steps. But all must dance. It is the rule of the club: Dance or you will be removed. There is a person who looks at the structure of the club. He observes the wood of the dancefloor, feels the grooved walls with his fingers, listens closely to the rhythm of the thumping beats, not hypnotized by their thrum like the others, hoping to find a pattern, hoping that what small order he can discern is indicative of a greater world outside those walls- but he too goes on dancing, without ever truly knowing.

>>18576707
Except it doesn’t depend how you see it.

>>18582548
If how old you are is how long you have lived then if anon's brother dies at 50 and anon lives to 60 then at 60 anon will be older than his brother.

>>18576552
A girl a liked once asked me if I liked her makeup. She usually doesn't wear makeup, or light makeup that I don't notice, but that day it was really obvious. I still remember she had red lipstick on.

I paused and said "Honestly, I don't really like the way makeup looks." She made a face.

There was another guy there too, and he quickly added "I think your makeup looks <beautiful>" like some cuck.

>>18576552
Anybody have any suggestions for a literary work like Disco Elysium?
Something other than The City &The City or Kurvitz's untranslated novel.

>>18582614
You’re just mad that he got with her unlike you, autist.

>>18582770
She didn't get with him, but she did eventually get married to a nice socially adjusted guy like that. I realize I'm the loser here.

>>18582896
> implying that marrying is winning
You managed to get away, don't be fooled by your hormones. Break the cycle, anon. You can do it.

>>18576810
Chongqing's the most populated.

>>18578629
You'll never leave.

>>18582614
That's just being blunt and based, Anon.

>>18579867
Jesus christ

>>18582509
Is this supposed to be an answer to my husserl question?

>>18579617
Oh god I'm gonna cum

>>18576552
>be me
>21
>working in a truck stop
>customers have a hard time using the card readers on the gas pumps due, usually because of an issue with cards issued outside of the US. Typically these customers are Canadian
>customer walks up to the register and complains about not being able to start his gas pump
>I look up and say "lemme guess, Canadian?"
>Customer is literally and orthodox jew
>he looks very confused
>"no....Israel"

I wanted to dematerialize

>>18579617
i dont get it

>>18584100
what's there to get?
young me thought there really was a word that can make my head explode

>>18583499
not in terms of metropolitan area, and Chongqing's "city limits" aren't accurate to the actual city.

>>18584105
oh ok. you can probably type the word and be safe though, or is it any use of the word?

>>18584118
I remember the book specifically saying that simply knowing the word would make my head go boom

>>18584121
oh shit ok please dont tell me it then

>>18584123
we're safe anon
nobody's alive to tell us what the word is

>>18584128
but your teacher kind of implied that she new the word, does that mean she was lying to you?

>>18584137
nah, teachers have super powers that protect them from these words

>>18584140
wtf it said that in the book?

>>18584145
No, my teacher told me that all teachers have super powers

>>18584146
ok then but my dad is a teacher, does that mean I can learn the word?

>>18584152
He could teach you, but then you'd die

>>18579617
You realize she wanted to fuck you right?
That was her flirting with you.

>>18584155
I think your teacher and the book was lying, tell me the word I want to know the word

Almost everything I say is some completely stupid bullshit but I at least have the decency to post it here instead of bothering those around me.

I told a very pretty girl who was nice to me that I didn't like her accent.

Mr. Evrart is helping me find my gun.

>>18584111
Neither are city's.

>>18581284
Knowledge is power, France is bacon.

>>18584159
I don't think so anon

>>18576552
Argued with my crush that "girls pee out of their butts" and not their vaginas for over an hour

>>18576552
I once got money and time mixed up, I gave this cashier 60 cents, thinking it was a dollar, because 60 seconds is a minuet.
He just kept telling me that wasnt a dollar, and I just kept saying "yes it is, I counted it."
Eventually he just felt pity towards me and let me buy whatever I was paying for with 60 cents instead of a dollar.

It's happened to everyone at least once, but
>Enjoy your food/movie!
>Thanks, you too!
I also did a bit of autistic sperging at my friends in elementary and middle school, but we're all still friends so it's not too upsetting looking back on it.

>>18584176
It's a good game. Hope you enjoy it. Kind of upset that they added voiced lines to EVERY dialogue, since the intonation characters use often contradicts what I had in mind on my first playthrough. It felt more /lit/ to have limited voiced encounters, though I could also just turn off all voice acting if it bothered me that much I suppose.
Need to get to playing the Final Cut content soon.

>>18576552
"Marxism works."

>Your smell intoxicates me like the aroma of butter and french toast on a Sunday morning

>>18579617
Did you get to fuck.

>>18581739
Lmao, have you spoken to a women since.

>>18576552
During a bout of banter with friends about bachelordom, the topic turned on how I must be a fag since I was a >tfw no gf KHHV I still am god please grant me a gf, anyways to defend myself I emphasized "I'M A HO-MO-SEX-UAL!" when I meant the opposite. Cue laughter and more ribbing but ah well.

>>18584603
Let me guess, you had just finished reading In Search of Lost Time?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Search_of_Lost_Time#Memory

>>18582896
how are you a loser? trust me anon, having a girl in your life is NOT all its cracked up to be.
I always say there is no path in life more blissful than solitude. I think a lot more people would agree with me if they actually did get a gf and realised its not as amazing as everyone says it is. Your fine on your own anon, you just have to realise it and accept that you're fine.

>>18579617
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS6hXUV-vOY

>>18584560
You might enjoy "The Figgerin' Of Aunt Wilma" by James Thurber.

https://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2011/02/thurber-tonight-figgerin-of-aunt-wilma.html

>>18576552
I once so mired in the complexities of an epistemological argument that I started trying to define "nothing," and realized after speaking for at least a full minute how stupid the entire line of argument was.

>>18582627
Disco Elysium has a very European literature type of style, so you are best off looking in that direction

Maybe its just me, but i got a lot of Sartre/Remarque vibes from it

>French revolution wasn't real equality because it ignored eg. women
gods my teenage self was stupid

>>18582627
Is that translation of Kurvits novel still being worked on? it was supposed to come out last year.

>>18576552
Once i dressed like a priest in a videocall (it was my second call with them), i thought it would be funny, they went dead silent and just asked me why do i have priest clothes.

Sometimes it's not what we say but what we do that kills us.

>>18584569
Final Cut has a "Psychological" mode (I believe that was the name for it), which has all of the spoken dialogue voiced and a little of the narration text voiced, but it removes the voiced Skill lines. Having all the skills read by the same voice (an extremely stilted voice at that) was pointless and a huge mistake, so Psychological mode is the way to go.
On a more literature note, I never read genre fiction but I've been waiting ages for Sacred and Terrible Air to be translated into English.

>>18577043
Here’s our flag if you ever need to identify it.

>>18584073
Anon that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.

>Are you truly happy?

>>18584569
>>18586977
Even the new character and narrator voices are worse than the old ones
they ripped the soul right out of that game

>>18587302
Happy
Sha la la
It's so nice to be happy
Sha la la
Everybody should be happy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxo0xvWaKQM

>>18576552
Mostly general geographic fuckups, like thinking Cambodia was in Africa. God I fucking hate geography

in highschool
girl that was into me invited me over to her house
in her room, on her bed
she starts sucking on my finger and i said:
"stop or youll give me a boner"

then recently i messed up something about physics saying that an object will be heavier when its higher up when i meant its potential energy would be higher. that only further made me look like a dumbass to the people who already thought i was a dumbass.

>>18587478
>Cambodia was in Africa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr6NOsluHYg
>So, you've been to school for a year or two
>And you know you've seen it all
>It's a holiday in Cambodia
>It's tough, kid, but it's life
>>18587510
>"stop or youll give me a boner"
I felt that

>>18584560
this reminds me of the screenshot from /g/ about someone trying to translate "real time" from "microwave time" or something like that

>>18587862
>"real time" from "microwave time"
What's that?

>>18588169
exactly as it sounds

>>18588169
Like how microwaves can display a minute as either 1:00 or 00:60 and some motherfucker was really confused

>>18588591
>>18588591
Ah ok, my microwave does not have digital timer desu

>>18576552
>I love you.
>Were gonna last forever.
>I want to marry you.
Broke up a week or so after the last one. I wil always love in Hamlet.

HAMLET:
Ay, truly, for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness. This was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once.
OPHELIA:
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
HAMLET:
You should not have believed me, for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it. I loved you not.

>>18576552
I was fishing with some friends and we cought a fish. The fish was not dying and we wanted to put it out of its misery. I proposed to cover its gills so it would suffocate

>>18576552
>What is the stupidest thing you've ever said?
"i'm gonna browse 4chan then leave."
>>18576617
poor fren don't worry

>>18576552
when i was a wee lad in middle school we had the classic ''how are kids even made'' because we were all too dense to understand fertilization, and me being the brightest of the bunch had suggested that you had to piss inside the girls to get them pregnant.
it's still quoted to this day.

>>18576552
I once said that Steinbeck wrote Great Gatsby.

>>18576552
I've never said anything stupid in my life

>>18589362
...

>>18576552
But there are so many…

>>18589263
Well, thats not too far from the truth

>>18576552
when i was 16 i thought gatorade was healthy

Can't think of any. Guess my brain is good at forgetting dumb shit that no one cares about.